That's On Point: The Web Site

As we continue our unabashedly biased preview of June's World Cup, we hit the land of Gondolas, leaning towers and fruity European fashion -- Italy, or to NBC, Italia.

World Cup experience: 16th visit. Won it all in 1934, 1938 and 1982.

Group: E -- USA, Czech Republic, Ghana.

Odds: 1.9:1 win group; 11:1 win Cup (Find a broker and lay that action, seriously.)

World Rank: No. 12 (Further proof the Fifa World Rankings are as accurate as College RPI.)

How qualified: Breezed through Euro Group 5 qualifying (Of note that group was non-qualifiers: Norway, Scotland, Slovenia, Belarus and Moldova.)

Nickname: Azzurri

Key Players: Gianlugi Buffon (GK, Juventus); Fabio Cannavaro (Def., Juventus); Gennero Ivan Gattuso (Mid. Milan); Andrea Pirlo (Milan); Luca Toni (F, Fiorentina); Franceso Totti (F, AS Roma); Alessandro Del Piero, (F, Juventus)

Choice honey: With a nod to Suppe, Monica Bellucci, even if she was in the final two Matrix flicks.

Icon: Very very very hard to say, in recent history though, Paolo Maldini, perhaps the prototype footballer. With 126 international games, he's the most capped Italian player. He's played in the senior team at AC Milan since 1985. A natural right foot, taught himself to play on the leftside out of love for the team. Now his son plays in the Milan youth system. This link is waaaay too harsh on him.

Il Duce says...: Former dictator Benito Mussolini deserves his own place in this rambling of sarcasm and soccer. Ok, clearly history has shown him to be a fascist monster. (Although in the interest of disclosure, my Great Uncle Tony was a noted fan of Il Duce.)

Benito, though gets his own spot for perhaps the greatest pregame speech in the history of sport. Ol' Benito told his troops prior to the 1938 Cup Final in Paris against Hungary, "Win or Die." (This followed his antics at the 1934 Cup in Italy were he manipulated the refs and essentially handed the Azzuri the title.)


Il Duce's spirit is alive and well: The average American would think Britain has the most notorious fans, well that assumption, along with ones like America has the best baseball players isn't quite true. Italian hardcore supporters, or Ultras take the cake for Western Europe (good gravy, we can't even discuss the crews in the Post-Soviet Bloc.) In a recent UEFA Cup match between England's Middlesborough and AS Roma, three 'Boro fans were stabbed. Or of course, their is the infamous flare incident from last year's Champions League AC Milan/Internazionale match. Or wait, how about the rampant anti-semitic and Nazi imagery at games? Lastly, there's Paulo "Titus Pollo" Di Caino, who grew up as a Lazio Ultra and has a tattoo "DVX" which is Latin for Duce. (Granted, this video compilation tabs Di Canio, a former Lazio Ultra as a boy, as having scored the greatest Premiership goal of the league's first ten years.)

Silvio Berlusconi prolly needs his own category too: What a guy! Owner of AC Milan/Prime Minister or Italy/Media Baron/Creator of Gabibbo. The man responsible for bawny programming in primetime. A man who flew his squad into the San Siro in helicopters. Basically a sleazy, scumbag that pretty much anyone would trade places with, as long as they don't mind burning in hell. Think of him as the Italian Donald Trump, except in politics, not reality television. (For more on our man Gabibbo, click here.)


Tedious miscellania: The Italians might have had the weakest excuse ever used in soccer, and there have been plenty. At Euro 2004 played in Portugal, in June with tempertures of 33 degrees Celsuis mind you, the Azzuri drew Denmark 0-0. Many Italians attributed the draw to the field being too warm. Said playmaker Franceso Totti: "It was like having your feet on boiling sand. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. It was very painful. I have two big blisters, one on each foot." (More on Totti later) ... Quick quiz, Mauro Camoranesi, Italian or Argentine? Right to both, although born in Argentina and considering himself and Argentine, he plays for the Azzurri due to his ancestors. ... Well done Genoa. The club was about to return to the topflight (Serie A) but was dumped all the way down to Serie C for fixing its final match of the season. A match it would have won anyway. Bravo. ... As George Costanza once noted, isn't it amazing that there's never been a plane crash with a major US pro sports team. Not the case in Italy, where in 1948 club team Torino crashed, killing 18 team members. Crippling the national team for years to come. Actually a very sad moment that does not need to incure mockery or scorn. ... Oscar-winner Robert Benigni offered to be the team's mascot, after all he is the self proclaimed Italian "Donald Duck", but was refused after officials watched his version of Pinocchio. ... Vintage "Sportscenter" fans will remember former anchor Keith Olberman's fondness toward former No. 1 shirt Gianluca Pagliuca. ... The Italians are so obsessed that big clubs -- notably Juventus -- get the favor of the refs, that newspapers print table of who and when officials have awarded fouls and yellow/red cards. (On that note, the Gazzetta de Sport is published on pink paper.) ... No, Mike Piazza does not qualify for the team. ... One of my favorite moments from "The Sopranos" is when Tony, Christopher and Paulie Walnuts travel to Naples. Of course, Walnuts, despite his 'Pisan' status, is completely out of his element, as seen when he orders spaghetti and red sauce, prompting some of the real Italians at the dinner to say, "And you thought the Germans were classless pieces of shit." ... The opening chapter of Bill Buford's "Among the Thugs" details Manchester United hooligans running roughshod over Juventus fans, or "Eye-tyes." ... World Cup 1994 hero, Roberto Baggio, finall retired after the 2004 season. Of course he did miss this shot, ending Italy's chances vs. Brasil in the final.

General notes: There is hero worship, and then there is the Italians affinity for playmaker Francesco Totti. While yes, he is by all accounts a beautiful man, the Italians are completely gaa-gaa for this chap. Currently he is nursing a broken ankle, yet each Sunday when I cruise the AP photowire for the weekend's European soccer action, there are at least five or six shots of Totti in streetclothes watching his squad, AS Roma, play. And when they played Lazio in the imfamous Rome Derby, the television showed more Totti than the game. ... For years and years a 1-0 result was like sex to Italians -- they couldn't get enough. But recent history shows the people from the Boot don't mind open, up-and-down action...on the pitch that is, under coach Marcello Lippi. ... From 1990-1998 Italy was ousted from the World Cup on penalty kicks, then in 2002 to some very very questionable whistles to the homeside, South Korea. That string is going to snap sometime, plus the way the draw will likely play out, Italy wouldn't have to play Brasil until the Final. ... Take this to the bank, the referees will disallow at least two goals scored by the Italians this year. ...

Luca Toni finished the 2005/06 Serie A campaign with 31 goals. Watch out for this man against the USA.



Worth watching: Yes and no. Yes if you like potentially attractive soccer with world class talent. No, if the thought of long and greasy haired metrosexuals prancing around the pitch gives you the willies.

Will they win a game?: Yes, and then some.

Suppe Sez:World football's resident conspiracy theorists, the Italians area easily the sport's biggest whiners.

Famously complained that Denmark and Sweden purposely played for a 2-2 draw in Euro 2004. As a result, the Azzuri were sent back to the Boot, despite not losing a game. Anyone with two eyes and a brain not corroded by vino knew that this wasn't the case, because Scandanavia doesn't roll like that.
In fact, I'll sum up Italy's chances in Group E with a quote borrowed from Clemenza...

"It's a Sicillian message, it mean's Luca Toni sleeps with the fishes."

Boring, unlikable team loaded with prima donnas (and I'm 3/4 Italian) with the exception of Pirlo and Gattuso.

Bottom line: After Brasil, Italy has to be considered the No. 1 threat to hoist the Jules Rimet trophy in Berlin on July 12.

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We take a trip to the land of wind and ghosts -- Japan on deck.

For other capsules: Angola--Brazil; Cote D'Ivorie--England.