That's On Point: The Web Site

Can the champions of the first World Baseball Classic do the same at the World Cup in June? Not likely, but here's a capsule none the less and we won't hold them responsible for "Pearl Harbor" either.

World Cup experience: Qualified 1998, made round of 16 2002 as a co-host with Korea.

Group: F -- Brasil, Croatia, Austraila

Odds: 17:1 win group; 301:1 win Cup.

World Rank: No. 18

How qualified: Won Asian Group "B"

Nickname: The Blues, blah. (The bird on their crest is a crow, scary.)

Key Players: Junichi Inamoto (MF, West Bromwich Albion); Shinji Ono (MF, Uwara Reds); Shunsuke Nakamura (MF, Glasgow Celtic); Naohiro Takahara (F, Hamburger SV); Alex (Def. Urawa Reds)

Choice honey: In return for a wasted life of video games, we'll honor Japan with two choices. For the classy demure types -- former Miss Japan Norika Fujiwara -- for a risque audience -- Playboy model Hiromi Oshima. (Think of them as Mario and Luigi, except for the fact they're not ficticious Italian-American plumbers with moustaches.)

Icon: Since soccer is relatively new to Japan, and I couldn't secure Godzilla's contractual rights, we'll pick baseball legend Sadaharu Oh. Not only did he manage Japan to a win in the recent WBC, he also owns 868 career homers, mostly with the Toyko Giants. Trumping all that, Oh's jersey is worn by Nigel Tufnel in the final scene from, "This is Spinal Tap."

Tedious miscellania: Japan is Brasil of the Far East, not necessarily talentwise, but since their coach is former Samba Star legend Zico. (Zico earned the nickname -- Galo -- meaning Cock. His position, yep, the hole.) Their best player might even be naturalized Brasilian Alex. (Yes just one word.) ... The J-League has one of the more handsomely named squads, the Kashima Antlers. Of course that pales in comparison to the Japan Pacific Baseball League squad, the Nippon Ham Fighters. ... The Man of the Match, from this group, gets a free year's supply of used schoolgirl underwear straight from Hideki Matsui's private stock. (Worst player gets a Battle Royale-style exploding collar.) ... Prior to 1993, the names of the J-League were mainly named after their corporate sponsors. Sadly, Matsumura Fishworks and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern did not sponsor top flight sides. ... The notrious WWF manager Mr. Fuji (Oh my god, salt to the eyes), wasn't actually from Japan. He was born in Hawaaii. (Still, they could use his nefarious tactics in Germany.) ... Furthering the wrestling sentiment, Antonio Inoki once fought Muhammed Ali in a pretty surreal match in the 1970s. Topping that on the oddity scale, Inoki was elected to Japanese parliament in the 1990s, years before Jesse Ventura. ... As you might imagine, the Japanese fans are very very organized. Cheering sections are very precise with lots of "leaders" with whistles and elaborate card stunts. ... If you're a New York Mets fan, don't you wish Kaz Matsui took up soccer instead of baseball whilst growing up in Osaka Prefecture. ... We can all thank Japan for this. And for Japa-noi Tretching aerobic workout.

A quick one while he's away: To confess, I own a Japan national team shirt. Bought it at a deeeeeep discount post-2002 Cup. Anywho, I was wearing said shirt at an apple farm in Easton, Conn. buying some strudel when an actual man from Japan came up to me and started talking. Luckily Japan had recently played China in an Asian Cup match filled with ethnic tension, so I had something to talk about, to the disgust of his bride. Fascinating story, right? Did I mention the game was played at Beijing Worker's Stadium?

General notes: Japan has won the last two Asian Cups, but with the rather bootleg level of play across the world's largest continent (or so the board game Risk tells me). It's an achievement on par with Gonzaga winning the last four West Coast Conference men's basketball titles. ... The U.S. thumped Japan 3-2 in February at a game played at San Francisco's Pac-Bell Park. It was 3-0 until very late. The Japanese were sluggish after dressing in Barry Bond's personal locker room. ... In said game, Zico employed the ill-fated 3-6-1, which former US boss Steve Sampson used for a last place finish in 1998. It might be a necessity, since after Takahara there aren't a lot of options up top. ... Japan wants to play fast, one-touch, attacking soccer. Sort of like a team they'll play -- Brasil. ... Unless they notch a result against Australia, 0-3 looks a definite possibility. ... Ono could be their best talent, but he flamed out at Feyernoord in Holland, and came back to the J-League with his tail between his legs. ... Let's say this, Japan would win the World Cup for "Dance Dance Revolution."

Worth watching: Warning: Watching the Blues for excessive periods of time has been known to cause seizures.

Will they win a game?: I wouldn't put too much yen on it.

Suppe Sez: Moshi, Moshi. Toire wa doko desuk?

Looking at Japan's roster makes me want to eat misprepared blowfish. Inamoto, Nakamura and Nakata, but not much more. Maybe Mr. Sparkle will suit up to banish Croatia and Australia to the land of wind and ghosts. Can't you see I'm serious!?!?!?

Bottom line: Well, we made it this far without typing, "Domo arigato Mr. Roboto." Shit. Maybe that's Japan's best shot, blare Styx records outside their upcoming opponents hotel rooms all night. (If there's no Dennis DeYoung & Co. on hand, Cheap Trick Live at Budokan might work.) The rising sun sets early in Duestchland, as they meet their fate like O-Ren Ishii on the roof of the House of Blue Leaves.

---

We continue our trip around the globe to the land of the 1988 summer Olympics and the homeland of Sun and Jin from "Lost" -- South Korea.

For other capsules: Angola--Brazil; Cote D'Ivorie--England.