That's On Point: The Web Site

This just in, Generalísimo Francisco Franco is still dead! (Ah, 1970s SNL references.)

World Cup experience: 12th trip, eighth consecutive. (Best: quarterfinals: 1934, 1986, 1994, 2002)

Group: H -- Ukraine, Saudi Arabia, Tunisia

Odds: 1.6:1 win group; 81:1 win Cup.

World Rank: No. 5

How qualified: Thumped Slovakia 6-2 over a two-leg European playoff.

Nickname: La Selección

Key Players: Iker Castillas (GK, Real Madrid); Carlos Puyol (Def. Barcelona); Cesc Fabergas (Mid., Arsenal); Joaquin (Mid., Real Betis); Ruben Baraja (Mid. Valencia); Raul (F, Real Madrid); Fernando "El Nino" Torres (F, Athletico Madrid)

Choice honey: Penelope Cruz, was a slam dunk, but then I remembered she was involved with Tom Cruise (at least she got away before Scientology took hold, those darn thetan levels). So Vanessa Lorenzo ably steps in to fill her bikini. Gracias senorita.

Icon: Alfredo Di Stéfano* -- Generally regarded as one of the game's all-time greats. Won five European Championships with Real Madrid in the 1950s-60s. Scored 49 goals in 58 European matches, a record broken by Raul in 2005, then by Shevchenko in 2006. Born to Italian immigrants in Argentina (note the asterik, but later gained Spanish citizenship and played for them internationally) be orginally agreed to play for Barcelona, but the government stepped in and after some hanky-panky he landed at Real Madrid. The rest is history, as in 216 goals for Real in 282 matches.

Here's a nice tribute to the legend (who suffered a massive hear attack in 2005), however the choice of song is hella-weak.



Rascists 'R us: Spain, besides being at the vanguard of modern architecture, is a hotbed of racism. From the Bernabeau's Ultra Sur, to Zaragoza, it is a national black mark. Notriously, in a friendly against England last year, the Spanish fans made monkey noises whenever Shaun Wright-Phillips or any other of England's black players touched the ball. (Most cite Spanish coach Luis Aragones calling Thierry Henry, "a black shit" in a way to motivate Jose Antonio Reyes ahead of the match as the impetus for the display.)

Even worse, La Liga leading scorer Samuel Eto'o has been abused numerous times, nearly threatening him to walk off the pitch.

Aside from Xenephobia, the only reason I figure the Spainards are so anti-black is that they all celebrate Charles "The Hammer" Martel defeating a Moorish advance into Europe in the 700s which in any event would be a poor way to defend this virulent behavior.

Tedious miscellania: One of the gayest things about soccer is how young Spanish talents -- like Fernando "Freckles" Torres -- are known as "Starletts." ... Jose Antonio Reyes is not so smart. Last year he was tricked by a radio host proclaiming to work for Real Madrid, thereby getting Reyes to speak how much he'd love to transfer from Arsenal to Real. (He's still at Arsenal, btw.) ... Here's another one of those only in world football things -- Athletic Bilbao, founded by Brits and still uses the English spelling has a policy of only fielding Basque players. ... This comes 100 percent out of my ass, but from what I can gather Spain is home to some pretty neat architecture, and to a lesser extend some sound civic planning. In particular Barcelona is inter-spliced with the old and new, precisely why Thierry Henry will sign with the Catalan giants in give or take nine weeks. ... There is no truth to the rumor that all Spanish men now wear capri pants in honor of tennis star Raphael Nadal. ... Spain had at least two goals disallowed in the 2002 quarterfinals against co-hosts South Korea. Needless to say, they better avoid playing Germany. Here are some great Spanish soccer nicknames: Emilio Butragueño, El Buitre (the Vulture); Fracisco Gento, "El Supersonico" and Ricardo Zamora, "El Divino." ... As you may imagine, the King is quite important to Spain, and to Spainish soccer. Many clubs have been given the "royal blessing" ie, Real Madrid, Real Zaragoza, Real Betis, etc. Other have incorporation the crown into their badge. Every season Spanish sides compete for the Copa del Rey, aka the King's Cup named for King Alfonso XIII. ... Mmmmmm Valencia oranges. .... Barcelona is always looked at as the most cosmopolitan club in the world. From Cryuff to Ronaldihno, the Catalans have earned a certain flair amongst the world powers. (Lest we forget Hristo Stoitchkov) The club is also a huge source of pride of Catalan nationalists, dating back to the days of Franco with the Catalan colors part of the shirt badge. Here's a clip that maybe explains this whole Franco/soccer thing better than I can. ... Barca also deserves credit for being one of the few teams without a shirt sponsor. (Rumors were abundent that the 2008 Bejing Olympics would become the first sponsor.) ... In an interesting wind-up, Barcelona's second club, RCD Espanyol was founded by students in favor of the ruling Castillians who wanted to irk the Catalans. However in recent times the club, on hard financial footing, has adopted pro-Catalan ideas. ... We're all losers since 'Guti' and his flowing blonde locks were left out of the Seleccion, oh wait, no we're not. At least there's Puyol to laugh at. ... One of the neater aspects of Spanish football is that some of the large clubs, are just that, clubs. The clubs have members, aka "socios" who vote for the Board of Directors and have a direct stake in the team's affairs. ... As a senior in high school I had to read, "The Son Also Rises," by Ernest Hemingway about Spanish bullfighting. I gather the narrator was impotent. Other than that, I missed the point. End of story. ... Just for fun, Goikoetxea. ... The most prized assest a Spanish player can own is "calidad" or 'a quality of technique.' Raul, Spain's all-time leading international scorer, is beloved by the Madrid faithful AND by Germany 2006 organizing committee chair Franz "Der Kaiser" Beckenbauer for his calidad, aka crafitness. Here's his quote, "Raúl is one of the best of Europe. He is Real Madrid's spirit. He is like Matthaus for us: indispensable, and with a bad haircut". And here's a nice goal from what I gather is the FIFA World Cup Championship or Most Extreme Challenge, not quite sure.



General notes: Will the Liverpool trio of Xabi Alonso, Luis Garcia and to a lesser extent Fernando Morientes have anything left in the tank following an absolute marathon season for the Reds. (Note: Morientes was left off the final roster.) ... Will petty in-fighting sink Spain? One of the biggest questions is if the Castillians (Castillas, Torres, Raul) can get along with the Catalans (Luis Garcia, Carlos Puyol, Fabregas). And lets not forget about the Basques (Asier Del Horno, Xabi Alonso). The Basques and Catalans have thier own "national" teams, but are not recognized by FIFA. ... The national side's greatest achievement to date is winning the Gold Medal at the 1992 Barcelona games, which is essentially hanging your hat on an NIT victory. The Spaniards also won the 1999 Fifa World Youth Championship, but from I can gather its best field player on that team was Xavi and he's unlikely to play in Germany in June (Iker Castilas who also on this squad). ... Most coaches would love to be in Aragones shoes in picking a strikeforce from: Torres, Raul and rapidly emerging Valencia-man David Villa. Suffice to say, if Aragones watched this clip featuring Raul and Torres, they'd both be out. Be warned, this is Bill Walton level TERR-ible. ... Health could be an issue. Xabi Alonso tweaked an ankle, Xavi (who knows), Raul has been hurting and winger Vincente just came back from a long lay-off. ...

Worth watching: The book on Spain is they are notorious underachivers. Yet, frustratingly, they own an excellent collection of talent and boast one of, if not the, best league in Europe.

Will they win a game?: You could proabably pull a team from the Spanish Segunda (second division) and handily defeat Saudi Arabia.

Suppe Sez: Not to sound all New York Timesy, but Spain's poor track record in the World Cup is sometimes attributed to the sectarian divide between its players and within the country itself. In fact, most Catalonians (like Puyol, Fabregas and Luis Garcia) don't even consider themselves Spanish. Del Horno and Xabi Alonso happen to be Basque, hailing from the leftist western region that borders on and into France.

Much like the Netherlands, which has seen its share of internal strife with its squad, this rift is often used as an excuse when the country crashes out of the World Cup. Spain was hosed by S. Korea back in 2002, though.

Bottom line: Is this the year that Spain finally breaks on through? They'll have to knock off Brasil in the quarterfinals and this team's fragile pyschee isn't ready for that, even with all the talent on board.

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The preview you've all been waiting for, Togo on deck.

For other capsules:

Angola--Brazil;
Cote D'Ivorie--England;
France--Korea
Germany--Serbia