That's On Point: The Web Site

Could I really make fun of the United States, sure I could. Am I going to? Let's leave that to the soccer haters.

World Cup experience: 8th trip, fifth consecutive.

Group: E -- Italia, Czech Republic, Ghana

Odds: 8:1 win group; 101:1 win Cup.

World Rank: No. 5

How qualified: Won CONCACAF qualifying ahead of Mexico

Nickname: Yanks/Nats.

Choice honey: I haven't seen her all over the place, so SI swimsuit model Marisa Miller could use the pub.

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Instead of regalling the illustrious history of US Soccer (Somehow made the semifinals in 1930. Beat England 1-0 in 1950 in a major upset. Beat Mexico 2-0 in 2002, to make the quarterfinals before getting hosed against Germany. Along that way, too many forgettable things worth mentioning, ie. the MLS shootout.) we're now going to look at manager Bruce Arena's roster. And credit Suppe (aka Nikoloz Tskitishvili) for coming up with Superhero counterparts for the starting XI.

Goalkeepers

Kasey Keller: (Borussia Monchengladbach, Ger.) One of the best international keepers. ... Let's take a look at Keller through the years -- Millwall (early 90s); Leicester City (mid-90s); Rayo Vallecano (turn of century); Tottenham Hotspur (2001-04); Borussia Mönchengladbach (2005-current) ... We'd be remiss if we didn't mention he lives in a castle outside Dusseldorf. Expect to hear this at least 4-5 times each time the U.S. plays.
Superhero: Superman -- 93 Caps, 45 clean sheets. Lives in a castle. Fortress of Solitude?

... And this video is nothing short of amazing...



Tim Howard: (Machester United, on loan Everton, Eng.) Former Metrostar. ... EPL keeper of the year in 2003-04. ... Road the pine this season behind Edwin Van Der Saar, so loaned out to Everton for next season. ... Has tourette's syndrome. ... Prone to David James-esque performances, particularly when coming off his line, according to Suppe.

Marcus Hahnemann: (Reading, Eng.) Huge part in Reading's record-setting run in the Coca-Cola Championship, as the Royals set a second division points record. ... Sort of a Dennis Rodman of England. Throws his jersey into the crowd, usually to people with American flags. ... Big-time gearhead. ... Nicknamed "Big Red." ... Has a tat of the American flag on his left arm and a wicked soul-patch. ... Helped Suppe a lot in FIFA '05. ...

Defenders

Chris Albright: (LA Galaxy, MLS) Has very curly hair. ... Replacement for Frankie Hejduk. ... Former collegiate forward, scored 20 times in 22 games as a sophomore at Virginia. ... Scored in his debut on Sept. 8, 1999 against Jamaica. ...

Carlos Bocanegra: (Fulham FC, Eng.) Dangerous players on set pieces near the goal. ... Had an up-and-down run at Craven Cottage this season, fighting injuries and bad form. ... Has the tendency to pick up a cheap yellow card or two, witness getting ejected in a recent friendly with Venezuela. Also had the "horror tackle" on Aston Villa's Mark Delaney. Hasn't been the same since. ... It is throughly impossible for him to play a full 90 with his shirt tucked in. ... Claims to "enjoy watching the 'O.C.' and long walks on the beach." Watch out ladies.

Steve Cherundolo: (Hannover 96, Ger.) Stands a whopping 5-foot-6. (Somehow was a master at headers from the right corner in my FIFA '05 career) ... Has been with Hannover since 1999, and helped them to promotion to the Bundesliga in 2003. ... Has written a diary for USA Today in advance of the Cup.
Superhero: Cyclops -- A respected leader at Hannover. Possess a good skill set but just not as tough as the rest of the big boys.

Corey Gibbs -- Signed a contract with Charlton Athletic. ... I have his Feyenoord jersey. ... Out with a knee injury

Jimmy Conrad: (Kansas City Wizards, MLS) A relative late-bloomer and perhaps the biggest surprise on the roster. ... A tireless worker, was MLS Defender of the Year in 2004. ... Writes a humorous, self depricating column on the life of an MLS players every month for ESPN. ... A true Boy Scout out there. ... Also likes math, in particular Calculon, errr calculus. ... Has been known to wear bright red pants to team functions.

Oguchi Onyewu: (Standard Liege, Bel.) Full name is Oguchialu, meaning, "God fights for me." So he's got that going for him, which is nice. ... Famously made Mexican hitman Jared Borgetti his bitch in a 2-0 win over El Tri in Columbus, Ohio when the Yanks qualified for Germany. ... At 6-foot-4, 210 pounds, unofficially one the largest men to ever suit up for the Yanks. ... Scored his first career international with a stoppage time header off a freekick in the 2005 Gold Cup semifinals vs. Honduras. ... Currently the subject of many a "man-crush" from the nerds in Sams Army. ... Here's a Gooch video with the immortal Brian Kenny.
Superhero: The Thing -- Much like Ben Grimm, Gooch appears to be cut from stone. A prototypical new-age center back, the former Clemson man is the "rock" of the back four.


(that's the Gooch scoring for Standard Liege in Belgium.)

Eddie Pope: (Real Salt Lake, MLS) A Bruce Arena favorite, scored the game-winner in extra time in the first MLS championship game. ... Has recently removed the fork from his back and has played quite competently on the backline. ... Has never come on as a sub for the Yanks. ... Continued his education at UNC whilst playing for United in 1996. (Hear that Vince Carter?) ... A woman that works an Italian deli I frequent has been known to wear an Eddie Pope Metrostrats T-shirt jersey.
Superhero: Iron Man -- Though not crippled in Vietnam like Tony Starks, Pope is fragile. But, on the pitch he's reliable and steady. A crafty vet who has been through the wars.

Eddie Lewis: (Leeds United, Eng.) Excellent crosser of the ball. ... UCLA product came on as an 89th minute sub in the first-ever MLS match in 1996. ... Sort of a promotion-expert. Helped Fulham to the EPL in 2000. Later played at Preston North End, losing to West Ham United in the 2005 Championship playoff final. He lost again this spring when his new club, Leeds, lost 3-0 to Watford in the final. ... Thrust, for better or worse, into the leftback position. Likely wouldn't find spot on the wing with Beasley and Convey anyway.
Superhero: Hawkeye -- His whipped crosses are as accurate as an arrow from one of the lamest Avengers. But, this is not insinuating the Leeds man is lame-o. In fact, he is a Suppe favorite.

Gregg Berhalter: (Energie Cottbus Munich 1860, Ger.) Injury replacement for Corrie Gibbs. ... Formerly captain of Cottbus, which was just promoted to the Bundesliga, making his move to Munich 1860 quite puzzling. ... Cousin and godson of Carl Yastrzemski.

There in spirit: Frankie Hejduk. The Cardillo fave and Suppe hated Frankie H is known for his two-foot tackles. He likes to surf. Can run forever. Tore his ACL. And named his son Frankie Nesta.

Midfielders

DaMarcus Beasley: (PSV Eindhoven, Ned.) First American to play in the semifinals of the UEFA Champions League. ... Told me the biggest difference of playing sports in Europe to America is, "No music in the locker room before games." ... Middle name is Lamont, yet he is no big dummy. He barely stands 5-foot-8.
Superhero: Wolverine -- Mercucial. Sometimes appears his bones are also made out of adamantium (witness: every tackle on him in qualifying). Problems with authority (see: Dutch customs and highway police). Minus points for no facial hair though.

Let's take it old school:



Bobby Convey: (Reading, Eng.) Became, at the time, the second youngest player to debut in MLS as a 17-year-old with DC United in 2000. ... Enjoyed a dream season, helping Reading set the English second division record for points and promotion to the EPL. ... Named No. 10 in FourFourTwo magazine's Top 50 Players outside the Premiership, calling him the best winger in the Championship. ... Maybe in the best form of any player on the team right now. (This video is only 78 percent gay.)
Superhero: Nightcrawler -- Previously relegated to Excaliber, the Reading man is currently showing his mettle with the X-Men, er USMNT. Brings a lot to the table, especially speed and technical precision. Probably lacks powers of teleportation though.



Clint Dempsey: (NE Revolution, MLS) A part-time rapper under the name "Duece" (he wears shirt No. 2 with the Revs); Recorded the infamous, "Don't Tread" song. ... Hails from Nacodoches, Texas. ... Says he'll have a all-time special goal celebration should he score in Germany. ... Has a the sullen look of serial killer, not that thats a bad thing to have on the pitch.

Landon Donovan: (LA Galaxy, MLS) For better or worse, the poster boy for US soccer. ... In a lengthy relationship with actress Bianca Kajlich, who apparently was on 'Dawson's Creek.' ... Signed a contract with Bayer Leverkausen as a 16-year-old, sat on the bench and got loaned to the San Jose Earthquakes. Won a title, went back to Leverkausen, put on what was widely regarded as a 'horror show' in the Champions League, came back to MLS and prompty won a title with the Galaxy. ... Target of some 'Net scorn. ... Claimed by Suppe that he would name his first born Landon Donovan Suppe if the US won the Cup. ... Video game-alohic. ... Prematurly balding.
Superhero: Spiderman -- Loads of ability, even though he still might get beat up by Mysterio (or the German press) once in awhile. At times, an annoying nerd who lacks ability to finish (especially with Mary Jane). When in top form, saving the world from the Sinster Eleven (Mexico) like in 2002.

The video below shows all that is good and bad about Donovan at once.



Pablo Mastroeni: (Colorado Rapids, MLS) Brokeout at the 2002 World Cup, despite playing in zero qualifiers in the run-up. ... Born in Argentina, moved to the U.S. at age four. ... According to the US media guide, "enjoys spending time in his vegetable garden with his two pugs, Zen and Reilly P." ... Plays guitar in a band called Chicken Head Killas. ... Versitile player can slide into the defense and is able tackler.

John O'Brien: (Chivas USA, MLS) A one-time wunderkid of U.S. Soccer, came up through the vaunted Ajax Amsterdam youth system. (By the look of his hair, he picked up some of the other local customs... Oh dear, also claims to play the bongos and that "The Matrix" is his favorite flick.) ... Came from virtually no where to score the first goal in the US's 3-2 win over Portugal in the first game of the 2002 Cup. ... Orginally cast for the part of Mr. Glass in the movie "Unbreakable." (He's had just about every time of leg ailment a human being could possibly have, yet remarkably doesn't feel much pain.)

Ben Olsen: (DC United, MLS) Known to grow his beard when called on for national team duty. ... Almost like a son to Bruce Arena, played for him at Virginia and lived in his house during his rookie season with United. ... Apparently is a reverend in some sort of fringe church and married Brian Ching and his wife. ... Here's an interesting look at Olsen. (Let's pray they don't test for sensimilla on this team.)

Claudio Reyna: (Manchester City, Eng.) Will play, hopefully, in his fourth straight World Cup. ... Up close looks about 45. ... Nicknamed, "Captain America" by the British press. ... A soccer purists' favorite, not so much in the Cardillo household.
Superhero: Captain America -- Steve Rogers has been protecting the US since WWII. Claudio will be patrolling the midfield at the WC for the fourth time. See the similarities? Reyna was named to the Best XI in 2002 and has been one the steadiest national team performers of all time.

Forwards

Brian McBride: (Fulham FC, Eng.) Voted Fulham player of the year by the fans. ... Kisses his fist wedding ring and crosses himself after each goal. ... Scored the U.S.'s only goal at France 1998. ... Scored the form-header against Portugal in the 2002 World Cup. ... If you're a fan of the US and you have anything bad to say bout McBride, you're not a fan. ... Arguably the most productive American export to Europe, at least in terms of goal scoring. ... Nicknamed, "Bake." ... A good guy too, donated money for every goal he scored to charity.
Superhero: Dr. Strange -- Mystical, talismanic ability to find the back of the net. In words of Wolverine, "nuff said."



Eddie Johnson: (Kansas City Wizards, MLS) Anothe enigma. He absolutely dominates CONCACAF and its 5-foot-6 center backs, but hasn't done much against other opponents. Burst onto the scene with seven goals in six qualifiers. Then hurt his toe and hasn't been the same. ... Famously said, "I don't play video games, I'm a grown ass man." ... For better or worse, hails from Palm Coast, Fla., a place the immortale Len Colandro once called home. ... Portuguese club Benefica offered around $6 million for him, but the MLS turned it down. .. Not a good sign when FC Dallas opted to build around Carlos Ruiz instead of the GAM. ... Still only 22-years-old and the sky is the limit. ... Might break out at the Cup.
Superhero: Blade -- Much like Blade, who was half-human/half-vampire, Johnson has the ability to be a game-changing talent.

Brian Ching: (Houston Dynamo, MLS) First USMNT member from Hawaii. ... Played at Gonzaga. ... When paired with Donovan formed a Master/Blaster worthy combination. ... Scored four-goals in the first game in Houston Dynamo history this spring, probably got him on this team over Taylor Twellman. .. Had great stretch in 2004, scoring an 89th minute equaliser againt Jamaica and then scored in the next game.

Josh Wolff: (Kansas City Wizards, MLS) Was once called "Jason" by ESPN announcer Dave O'Brien. ... Always a solid player in MLS. ... Umm.... He has good teeth? ... Bottom line, a good soldier, even with his suspect finishing skills.

Manager: Bruce Arena -- I will just say this, "In Bruce we trust." Read his Wikipedia entry, at least just for the picture. Or even better, Grant Wahl's recent SI profile. And this follow-up.

Knock yourself out with our other previews:
For other capsules:

Angola--Brazil;
Cote D'Ivorie--England;
France--Korea;
Kingdom of Saudia Arabia--Serbia .