A few weeks back, faced with the prospect with nothing to read on an impending eight hour plane journey I panicked and plunked down $25.99 hard-earned USD for the literary classic and sure-fire Pulitzer Prize winner -- "The Mad Dog Hall of Fame."
For the devotees of the WFAN midday (and Arbitron top-rated drive-time program) Mike and the Mad Dog, the book reads like you might expect. Dog "writes" in half-sentences, makes bold proclaimations, which he backs up by saying, "Fact." (Also, there are random tidbits, aptly named "Dogbites.")
Long story short, it wasn't worth the money and since it was a hardcover I didn't feel like lugging it around Germany for three weeks I swapped it at a hotel in Amsterdam for an equally unappealing book -- "Jack in the Box" written by "the bizarre genius" William Kotzwinkle (he wore a monicle on his headshot on the backcover for crissakes, yet the book turned out to be on the caliber of Penthouse Letters. Salicious!)
Most of Doggie's arguments are alternately "dead as a pancake" and "sly as a goose." What saved the purchase from being a completely yoooooog waste of money is Dog's affinity towards old timey baseball. At points Dog speculates/asserts that Walter Johnson would be an dominant pitcher in an era. Dog harbors a late 80s-era Will Clark-esque man-crush on Christy Mathewson, whom he repeatedly refers to as, "Ol Chrissy."
What is the point of this?
Old Timey Baseball is indeed amazing and hilarious. Fact.
So with that I present to you, a quiz on Old Timey Baseball, which counts as anything from the 1800s until until about WWII. Purists would argue the "Old Timey" era ends with the deadball era, but I'm a rebel baby.
It's true or false, so it shouldn't be that difficult.
1. In 1917, on a rather long train trip to play the Boston Beaneaters, St. Louis Cardinals second baseman Rogers Hornsby (.358 career batting average, highest in NL history) played one rather extraordinary card game. By the end of the journey, he'd amassed over $150,000 in U.S. treasury notes, a majority stake in U.S. steal, a minority stake in MGM pictures and two Ford Model T's in mint condition. Plus the key to the city of Boston. True or false?
2. Pittsburgh Pirate legend Pie Traynor earned his delectable nickname due to the fact that as a teenager he won the Framingham (Mass.) County pie-eating contest with a whopping 27 pies in one hour. (They were a variety of blueberry, huckleberry and boisinberry.) His record stood under Japanese eating machine Kobayashi shattered Traynor's record in the summer of 2005.
3. Until 1942 it was illegal to attend a Major League Baseball game without the proper attire, ie: full three-piece suit, necktie, cravat, hankerchief, umbrella and of course a Derby-style hat. (Also on the books, said hat MUST be tossed in the air after a home run).
Failure to comply with these rules had catastrophic results. Philadelphia's Shibe Park even had a subterrianian torture dungeon for those that failed to uphold to the dress code. True or False?
4. Ty Cobb was a bigger racist than Cap Anson? True or False?
5. Christy Mathewson's "fadeaway" pitch came to a full stop midway through its motion, before darting into the catcher's mitt. True or False?
6. "The Christian Gentleman," "Ol' Stubblebeard," "Pud," and "Pebbly Jack" were all nicknames of Major Leagues during that era. True or False.
7. Frank "Home Run" Baker never hit more than 12 roundtrippers in a season. True or False?
8. Rube Waddell did all of the following things during his playing career: True or False?
a. Performed as an alligator westler in the off-season.
b. Would leave the dugout to chase passing fire engines.
c. Pitched the first game of a doubleheader, winning in the 17th inning on his own triple. His manager, Connie Mack offered Waddell a three-day fishing vacation if he agreed to pitch the second game (which had been shortened to 5 innings). Waddell threw 5 scoreless innings, allowing one single.
d. Was nicknamed the "Sousepaw" by the Sporting News, because he once spent his entire signing bonus on booze.
9. Jack Chesbro, who had 48 complete games in 51 starts one season for the New York Highlanders, was most noted for his "Shineball". True or False?
10. Honus Wagner's real name was Honus Wagner. True or False?
11. 1899 National League batting champ, Hall of Famer Ed Delahanty (he hit .410 that year) died as a result of a ball that struck him during a 1902 game. True or False?
12. Hall of Famer Tris Speaker's middle name was "Trowbridge." True or False?
13. Walter Johnson's fastball was so powerful, that he used to hunt for game in wilds of Idaho with hand-sewn leather baseballs. True or False?
14. "King" Kelly invented the slide in the late 1800s. True or False?
15. The winner of the "Chalmers" award, the precursor to the MVP, received two milking cows and a galvinized rubber buggy. True or False?
16-20. These were names of professional baseball teams: True or False? --
The Cincinnati Porkers?
The Cleveland Infants?
The Rochester Gentlemen?
The Providence Longshoreman?
The Chicago Whales?
(Third strike, yer out.)
Answers
1. False, Hornsby actually won shares in Standard Oil.
2. False, Kobayashi has never participated in the Framington Pie-Eating Contest.
3. False, the long-standing rule is still on the books, but is not prosecuted anymore. Although I hear the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis features a replica of the old Sportsman's Park dunk tank for non-compliers.
4. False. Cobb was a notrious SOB and bigot, but actually advocated integrating the leagues, belive or not. Anson kept the majors segregated for his refusal to play with black players. Yeah, and Cobb never had a young black kid -- Clarence Duval -- as a team mascot. Sadly, I did not make any of this up.
5. False. The fadeway pitch was actually a version of the screwball.
6. True. The real names: Christy Mathewson; Spitballer Burleigh Grimes (who once threw at a guy in the on-deck circle and perhaps has the best Christian name ever.); James Francis Galvin (first 300-game/no-hitter.) lastly, "Pebbly Jack" was born Jack Glasscock and was a shortstop in the barehand era.
7. This is in fact true. Baker hit 12 homers for the 1913 Philadelphia Athletics. He finished his 13-year career with a robust 96 homers. There is a rumor he was the first player to ever use HGH, but it has never been proven after graverobbers ransacked his tomb in 1972.
8. All in fact, are true of Waddell.
9. False, Chesbro's famous pitch was the spitball, legal until 1920.
10. False, Wagner's given name was Johannes. Sportswriters were too lazy to write than and shortened it to Honus, or Hans. Not much has changed in the sportswriting department.
11. False. Believe or not, Delahanty died as a result of going over Niagra Falls in a drunken stupor after getting kicked off a train. Another nugget. He batted .407 in 1897, but lost out to Pittsburgh's Hugh Duffy -- who hit .440 that season. (Duffy later admitted to using "greenies" but offset their effects by huffing ether and smoking opium.)
12. False. It was Eddie Trowbridge Collins -- his nickname was "Cocky." And according to Bill James he was the best second baseman ever.
13. False. But a scouting report did say this of Johnson: "He knows where he's throwing, because if he didn't there'd be dead bodies all over Idaho."
14. True, sort of. Kelly is attributed to inventing the slide, but no one really knows. What we do know about Kelly is that once he delayed a game by drinking in the box seats with some well-to-do fans and later jumped out of the dugout on a pop foul and declared, "Kelly now catching." He made the play and the umpire ruled the batter out. (this led to rules changes.)
15. False. The Chalmers Award awarded a new automobile to the man with the highest batting average. Bonus Dogbite -- In 1910, the race was very heated between Nap Lajoie and Ty Cobb. Cobb elected to sit out the final two days of the season, while Lajoie played against the St. Louis Browns and went 8-for-8 with six bunt singles. Lajoie ended up losing by a 0.005 of a point, because of an error. Super Bonus Dogbite: For a time, before they were the Cleveland Indians, they were the Cleveland Naps, in honor of Lajoie. Ultimate super-amazing Dogbite: According to Wikipedia, Lajoie would have won four-straight batting crowns at the turn-of-the-century had he not contracted blood poisoning from getting spiked.
16.-20: True, true, false, false, true.
0-5: Back to the Federal League for you, Rube.
5-10: The good news is that you've managed to turn the doubloeplay after getting spiked by Ty Cobb at second base. The bad news, you die of typoid fever two weeks later, on a cross-country train trip, no less.
10-14: You probably have a handlebar moustache.
15 correct: Did YOU fix the 1919 World Series?
For the devotees of the WFAN midday (and Arbitron top-rated drive-time program) Mike and the Mad Dog, the book reads like you might expect. Dog "writes" in half-sentences, makes bold proclaimations, which he backs up by saying, "Fact." (Also, there are random tidbits, aptly named "Dogbites.")
Long story short, it wasn't worth the money and since it was a hardcover I didn't feel like lugging it around Germany for three weeks I swapped it at a hotel in Amsterdam for an equally unappealing book -- "Jack in the Box" written by "the bizarre genius" William Kotzwinkle (he wore a monicle on his headshot on the backcover for crissakes, yet the book turned out to be on the caliber of Penthouse Letters. Salicious!)
Most of Doggie's arguments are alternately "dead as a pancake" and "sly as a goose." What saved the purchase from being a completely yoooooog waste of money is Dog's affinity towards old timey baseball. At points Dog speculates/asserts that Walter Johnson would be an dominant pitcher in an era. Dog harbors a late 80s-era Will Clark-esque man-crush on Christy Mathewson, whom he repeatedly refers to as, "Ol Chrissy."
What is the point of this?
Old Timey Baseball is indeed amazing and hilarious. Fact.
So with that I present to you, a quiz on Old Timey Baseball, which counts as anything from the 1800s until until about WWII. Purists would argue the "Old Timey" era ends with the deadball era, but I'm a rebel baby.
It's true or false, so it shouldn't be that difficult.
The Ultimate Old-Timey Baseball Quiz
1. In 1917, on a rather long train trip to play the Boston Beaneaters, St. Louis Cardinals second baseman Rogers Hornsby (.358 career batting average, highest in NL history) played one rather extraordinary card game. By the end of the journey, he'd amassed over $150,000 in U.S. treasury notes, a majority stake in U.S. steal, a minority stake in MGM pictures and two Ford Model T's in mint condition. Plus the key to the city of Boston. True or false?
2. Pittsburgh Pirate legend Pie Traynor earned his delectable nickname due to the fact that as a teenager he won the Framingham (Mass.) County pie-eating contest with a whopping 27 pies in one hour. (They were a variety of blueberry, huckleberry and boisinberry.) His record stood under Japanese eating machine Kobayashi shattered Traynor's record in the summer of 2005.
3. Until 1942 it was illegal to attend a Major League Baseball game without the proper attire, ie: full three-piece suit, necktie, cravat, hankerchief, umbrella and of course a Derby-style hat. (Also on the books, said hat MUST be tossed in the air after a home run).
Failure to comply with these rules had catastrophic results. Philadelphia's Shibe Park even had a subterrianian torture dungeon for those that failed to uphold to the dress code. True or False?
4. Ty Cobb was a bigger racist than Cap Anson? True or False?
5. Christy Mathewson's "fadeaway" pitch came to a full stop midway through its motion, before darting into the catcher's mitt. True or False?
6. "The Christian Gentleman," "Ol' Stubblebeard," "Pud," and "Pebbly Jack" were all nicknames of Major Leagues during that era. True or False.
7. Frank "Home Run" Baker never hit more than 12 roundtrippers in a season. True or False?
8. Rube Waddell did all of the following things during his playing career: True or False?
a. Performed as an alligator westler in the off-season.
b. Would leave the dugout to chase passing fire engines.
c. Pitched the first game of a doubleheader, winning in the 17th inning on his own triple. His manager, Connie Mack offered Waddell a three-day fishing vacation if he agreed to pitch the second game (which had been shortened to 5 innings). Waddell threw 5 scoreless innings, allowing one single.
d. Was nicknamed the "Sousepaw" by the Sporting News, because he once spent his entire signing bonus on booze.
9. Jack Chesbro, who had 48 complete games in 51 starts one season for the New York Highlanders, was most noted for his "Shineball". True or False?
10. Honus Wagner's real name was Honus Wagner. True or False?
11. 1899 National League batting champ, Hall of Famer Ed Delahanty (he hit .410 that year) died as a result of a ball that struck him during a 1902 game. True or False?
12. Hall of Famer Tris Speaker's middle name was "Trowbridge." True or False?
13. Walter Johnson's fastball was so powerful, that he used to hunt for game in wilds of Idaho with hand-sewn leather baseballs. True or False?
14. "King" Kelly invented the slide in the late 1800s. True or False?
15. The winner of the "Chalmers" award, the precursor to the MVP, received two milking cows and a galvinized rubber buggy. True or False?
16-20. These were names of professional baseball teams: True or False? --
The Cincinnati Porkers?
The Cleveland Infants?
The Rochester Gentlemen?
The Providence Longshoreman?
The Chicago Whales?
(Third strike, yer out.)
Answers
1. False, Hornsby actually won shares in Standard Oil.
2. False, Kobayashi has never participated in the Framington Pie-Eating Contest.
3. False, the long-standing rule is still on the books, but is not prosecuted anymore. Although I hear the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis features a replica of the old Sportsman's Park dunk tank for non-compliers.
4. False. Cobb was a notrious SOB and bigot, but actually advocated integrating the leagues, belive or not. Anson kept the majors segregated for his refusal to play with black players. Yeah, and Cobb never had a young black kid -- Clarence Duval -- as a team mascot. Sadly, I did not make any of this up.
5. False. The fadeway pitch was actually a version of the screwball.
6. True. The real names: Christy Mathewson; Spitballer Burleigh Grimes (who once threw at a guy in the on-deck circle and perhaps has the best Christian name ever.); James Francis Galvin (first 300-game/no-hitter.) lastly, "Pebbly Jack" was born Jack Glasscock and was a shortstop in the barehand era.
7. This is in fact true. Baker hit 12 homers for the 1913 Philadelphia Athletics. He finished his 13-year career with a robust 96 homers. There is a rumor he was the first player to ever use HGH, but it has never been proven after graverobbers ransacked his tomb in 1972.
8. All in fact, are true of Waddell.
9. False, Chesbro's famous pitch was the spitball, legal until 1920.
10. False, Wagner's given name was Johannes. Sportswriters were too lazy to write than and shortened it to Honus, or Hans. Not much has changed in the sportswriting department.
11. False. Believe or not, Delahanty died as a result of going over Niagra Falls in a drunken stupor after getting kicked off a train. Another nugget. He batted .407 in 1897, but lost out to Pittsburgh's Hugh Duffy -- who hit .440 that season. (Duffy later admitted to using "greenies" but offset their effects by huffing ether and smoking opium.)
12. False. It was Eddie Trowbridge Collins -- his nickname was "Cocky." And according to Bill James he was the best second baseman ever.
13. False. But a scouting report did say this of Johnson: "He knows where he's throwing, because if he didn't there'd be dead bodies all over Idaho."
14. True, sort of. Kelly is attributed to inventing the slide, but no one really knows. What we do know about Kelly is that once he delayed a game by drinking in the box seats with some well-to-do fans and later jumped out of the dugout on a pop foul and declared, "Kelly now catching." He made the play and the umpire ruled the batter out. (this led to rules changes.)
15. False. The Chalmers Award awarded a new automobile to the man with the highest batting average. Bonus Dogbite -- In 1910, the race was very heated between Nap Lajoie and Ty Cobb. Cobb elected to sit out the final two days of the season, while Lajoie played against the St. Louis Browns and went 8-for-8 with six bunt singles. Lajoie ended up losing by a 0.005 of a point, because of an error. Super Bonus Dogbite: For a time, before they were the Cleveland Indians, they were the Cleveland Naps, in honor of Lajoie. Ultimate super-amazing Dogbite: According to Wikipedia, Lajoie would have won four-straight batting crowns at the turn-of-the-century had he not contracted blood poisoning from getting spiked.
16.-20: True, true, false, false, true.
Grading scale
0-5: Back to the Federal League for you, Rube.
5-10: The good news is that you've managed to turn the doubloeplay after getting spiked by Ty Cobb at second base. The bad news, you die of typoid fever two weeks later, on a cross-country train trip, no less.
10-14: You probably have a handlebar moustache.
15 correct: Did YOU fix the 1919 World Series?
No Love for Charled "Ol' Hoss Radbourn"?! Radbourn was another one of those 19th century pictures with gaudy numbers and additionally holds the distinction of being the only 300 game winning pitcher buried in Bloomington, IL.
Wow. This is the most I've learned about Old Timey Baseball since playing Earl Weaver Baseball on my 286 computer.