One of the first running stories we ran here at T.O.P. was the 'NBA's Worst Players.' We didn't do one last year.
But we're back for 2007 and rebranded.
It's not exactly fair to say someone in the NBA is terrible or the worst. Hell, just making the L is pretty tough. And it's easy for a bunch of wiseguys like us to make jokes anonymously on the web.
Still, there are some players that suck money out of stupid owner's wallet with waton regard for the consequences, like vultures feasting on an already dead animal carcass.
Perhaps no player in the Association better exemplifies this better than Cavaliers benchwarmer (even that's a stretch) Ira Newble. For averaging a paltry 0.7 points per game, the '97 Miami of Ohio grad pulls down a hefty $3,196,050. Not bad work if you can get it.
Without any further introduction, Suppe breaks down a starting five that would make Scott Layden blush.
Sebastian Telfair, PG, Boston Celtics
2006/07 Stats: 22.3 mpg, 7.4 ppg, 1.50 rpg, 3.2 apg, .398 FG%, .282 3-pt %
2006/07 Salary: $1,793,160
“Most people wake up every morning to go to work. I wake up every morning so I can go to school so I can play basketball.” -- Sebastian Telfair, “Through the Fire”
Nice to see Telfair had his priorities straight.
Bassy should’ve paid more attention in calculus class at Lincoln High. There, he could’ve learned about Integral calculus and bell curves and maybe predicted the sharp downturn his NBA career has taken.
For someone who had a book written about him before he was even drafted by the Trail Blazers back in 2004, Telfair hasn’t done very much in the pros.
In fact, Bassy is now riding the pine behind Delonte West and Rajon Rondo in Boston. That’s the same Rajon Rondo who sank 28 3-pointers in two full seasons at Kentucky.
Telfair is the quintessential example of the high-school kid who wasn’t ready for David Stern’s Association, Bassy is shooting under 40 percent from the field (39 percent) for the third straight season, again averaging single digits in scoring (7.6) and still dishing out less than four assists per game (3.4). He hasn’t improved upon the brief glimpse of potential he flashed for a shot-clock length during his rookie season.
Right now, Telfair couldn’t get into the lane against my rec team.
With the rise of the point guard in the NBA, his stunted development sticks out like a soar pinkie ring. Good thing Sonny Vaccaro locked him up to that sweet Adidas shoe contract. Bassy’s name might still ring out in the streets of Coney Island.
Making matters worse, the Blazers passed up (in order) Al Jefferson, J-Smoove, J.R. Smith, Jameer “Disputed Naismith Award Winner” Nelson, West, Tony Allen, Beno Udrih and Trevor Ariza to pick him in the lottery. Is Telfair better than a single player in that queue?
I haven’t even mentioned his beef with cousin Stephon Marbury. But at least Telfair got the better shoe deal.
Now let’s get into his burgeoning rap sheet. Last February, Bass brought his girlfriend’s loaded pistol onto a team flight hidden in a pillowcase. Apparently, Telfair didn’t attend Home Ec classes at Lincoln. (The gun goes inside the false panel of the Escalade’s glove box, not in your pillowcase.)
This preseason, Telfair was involved in some kind of dust-up where his $50,000 chain was ripped from his neck at Puff Daddy’s steakhouse in New York. Apparently, the scenario involved rapper Fabolous getting shot at some point.
That’s some serious wood right there.
On Feb. 1, the greatest point guard to skip college logged his first DNP of the season, in the midst of the Celtics’14-game losing streak.
This line from ESPN’s John Hollinger sums up Telfair pretty well:
“Suffice it to say that in 2005-06, a movie about Telfair's life proved far more interesting than his actual life.”
_______________
Marcus Banks, SG, Phoenix Suns
2006/07 Stats: 11.4 mpg, 4.8 ppg, 0.9 rpg, 1.4 apg, .414 FG%, .115 3pt %
2006/07 Salary: $3,600,000
Suns’ fans had better hope that Mike D’Antoni the GM turns out to be as good as Mike D’Antoni the coach. This past summer, D’ Antoni, in a huff to find a competent backup point guard for Steve Nash, threw fistfuls of money at Banks instead of drafting a guy like Marcus Williams.
Big Mistake.
Banks got his fat contract after 40 above-average games with Minnesota last season.
So far, the move has been an utter disaster for Phoenix, with Banks barely cracking the rotation because of his wildly erratic play. To make matters worse, Banks ineptitude has meant more time on the floor for Nash, who recently suffered his yearly semi-serious injury.
The former UNLV man is logging just 11 minutes a night and averaging a shade under five points per game. Banks is also shooting a laughable 11.5 percent from 3-point range (3-for-26). Remember, this is a Phoenix system that made Quentin Richardson look like Dale Ellis. This guy is a guard, remember.
Being an avid fan of Big Monday, I used to watch a lot of UNLV games when Banks was there. He was arguably the Rebels best player since Shawn Marion, a fearless guard who could drive the lane and make things happen.
So far in the NBA, the only skill set Banks has shown is poor decision-making, woeful
shooting (42 percent for his career) and a bad attitude. When Danny Ainge gives up on you, you know you’re in trouble.
Banks makes this list primarily because his ineptitude is affecting Nash.
That five-year, $21-million dollar contract is looking like a massive gaffe right now, considering D’Antoni is already dangling Banks in trade talks according to various published reports.
Maybe this signing is a precursor of dark times in the desert, seeing Bryan Colangelo drafted and then reacquired Nash, drafted Marion and Amare Stoudamire and traded for Leandro Barbosa and Boris Diaw. He also rid the Suns of Marbury.
So far, if Marion is “The Matrix”, Banks is Ballard. And you can’t think Mike D’Antoni and his moustache for that.
_______________
Brian Cardinal, SF, Memphis Grizzlies
2006/07 Stats: 11.3 mpg, 4.7 ppg, 2.1 rpg,
2006/07 Salary: $5,400,000...on the books until 2009/10 where he'll pocket $6.75 million
Take one look at this guy and you’ll see why he’s in the Newble zone.
“The Janitor” is everything that was great about your father’s NBA. Translation -- he’s white and he hustles. Hustle is a nice trait, but Cardinal can’t play one iota. It irks me that a guy like Rashad Anderson can’t even crack an NBA roster but Cardinal is solidified in the Memphis rotation.
Back in 2003-2004, Cardinal had a decent season with the Warriors and parlayed that into a monster contract from the suddenly cash-flush Grizzlies. Unfortunately, it made all of his hair fall out. Diving for loose balls and shooting the occasional 3-pointer wreaks havoc on a man’s hairline.
With his seven-year; $45-million deal, Cardinal could probably buy Graceland. And possibly Fat Elvis’ hair. No wonder the Grizzlies are now one of the worst team’s in the league. Just look at their roster.
Cardinal is averaging less than seven points per game for his career and grabbing 2.2 rebounds. His most comparable player is Darius Songalia, who makes half as much money. And Jerry West gave him the GDP of Ghana.
Just imagine what a guy like Dave Cowens, who is roughly the same size as “The Janitor", would make now.
We try to limit this list to guys who actually play (Cardinal is only averaging about 11 minutes per game) but he’s a walking reminder of how absurd NBA contracts have gotten lately. And we haven’t even broached the subject of Jerome James yet.
_______________
Jason Collins, PF, New Jersey Nets
2006/07 Stats: 23.3 mpg, 2.5 ppg, 4.2 rpg, .339 FG%, .485 FT%
2006/07 Salary: $5,800,000
One of the world’s greatest mysteries aside from global warming, D.B.Cooper and who built the pyramids is where the New Jersey Nets came from. Since the Nets hired Rod Thorn, traded for Jason Kidd and sold themselves to Jay Z, their “fans” have been rising from the Swamp with alacrity, like the zombies in “Land of the Dead.”
Lots of those Nets fans, who happen to call into WFAN quiet frequently, like to rip Eddy Curry.
“He’s overpaid,” “He can’t rebound,” “He’s lazy,” “His heart is weaker than Chris Farley’s.” Those are their typical refrains.
Yet I retort.
If the Nets’ fans want all of those attributes, minus the bum ticker, glance at their starting five and witness Jason Collins in the power forward slot. Actually, “power” forward is a bit of stretch, seeing Collins is a total Streisand. He’s softer than a slap from Kidd’s wife.
But armed with a $25-million contract, Collins, who becomes the second Newble-ist from Stanford (see Madsen, Mark) , is averaging 2.5 points and 4.2 rebounds in 50 starts. By the way, He’s 7-0, 260-lbs.
As it type this, Kidd is currently the Nets’ leading rebounder at eight per game. He’s 6-4. And a point guard. So when the playoffs roll around and the Nets are at home, blame Collins and his shrinking violet presence in the low blocks.
Statistically-speaking, according to player efficiency rating (PER), Collins is currently not only the least valuable player in NBA, he’s the least valuable player that ever played over 1,500 minutes in the league since 1987. Look if up if you don’t believe. That kind of atrocity explains itself.
Maybe the Nets can petition the NBA to allow the Collins and his twin brother, Jarron, to play as one player, sort of like Master Blaster.
_______________
Jerome James, C, New York Knicks
2006/07 Stats: 7.2 mpg, 2.5 ppg, 1.7 rpg, 0.3 bpg
2006/07 Salary: $5,400,000 (really want to vomit, look at this.)
To understand the man and the myth, you must know the legend.
Supposedly, while James was a student at Florida A&M, its basketball coach spotted him walking around the campus and convinced him to play hoops. J^2 had no prior experience in organized basketball, but went on to lead the NCAA in blocks.
It was like the beginning of a bad horror movie. Obviously, the A&M coach had no idea the great terror and fury he was unleashing on the NBA.
James has been nothing short of debacle for the Knicks.
Isiah Thomas could’ve spent that $35 million better if he lit it on fire in Penn Station and doused it out with the contents of Jim Dolan’s liquor cabinet.
The definition of contract-year player, Thomas wooed James after a solid postseason run with the Sonics in 2005.
So far, his Knick career has consisted of nothing but sitting on the bench, getting fatter and providing six steady fouls on the chance occasion that he actually enters the game.
James, at 7-1 and a generous 280, is one of the most foul-prone players in NBA history, with a solid career average of 9.6 hacks per 48 minutes. Incredibly, he could almost foul out twice if he ever played a full game. But that would require actually leaving the bench, which James rarely does, unless it’s to jump into a melee with the Denver Nuggets.
I thought he, “only worried about Jerome?”
Overall, his very presence is a blight to the league. And he nickname is “Big Snacks.”
In the immortal words of Wolverine, “nuff said.”
Postscript
I just blacked out when I realized James started tonight against the Warriors. The Knicks lost 120-101 and “Big Snacks” played two minutes, scoring zero points and missing both of his shots. Amazingly enough, he didn’t commit any fouls.
Previous teams, here. Forgive the sloppiness. That was a long time ago.
Next week: A big, juicy, meaty Champions League recap/lookahead. A yay or nay and other baloney.
But we're back for 2007 and rebranded.
It's not exactly fair to say someone in the NBA is terrible or the worst. Hell, just making the L is pretty tough. And it's easy for a bunch of wiseguys like us to make jokes anonymously on the web.
Still, there are some players that suck money out of stupid owner's wallet with waton regard for the consequences, like vultures feasting on an already dead animal carcass.
Perhaps no player in the Association better exemplifies this better than Cavaliers benchwarmer (even that's a stretch) Ira Newble. For averaging a paltry 0.7 points per game, the '97 Miami of Ohio grad pulls down a hefty $3,196,050. Not bad work if you can get it.
Without any further introduction, Suppe breaks down a starting five that would make Scott Layden blush.
Sebastian Telfair, PG, Boston Celtics
2006/07 Stats: 22.3 mpg, 7.4 ppg, 1.50 rpg, 3.2 apg, .398 FG%, .282 3-pt %
2006/07 Salary: $1,793,160
“Most people wake up every morning to go to work. I wake up every morning so I can go to school so I can play basketball.” -- Sebastian Telfair, “Through the Fire”
Nice to see Telfair had his priorities straight.
Bassy should’ve paid more attention in calculus class at Lincoln High. There, he could’ve learned about Integral calculus and bell curves and maybe predicted the sharp downturn his NBA career has taken.
For someone who had a book written about him before he was even drafted by the Trail Blazers back in 2004, Telfair hasn’t done very much in the pros.
In fact, Bassy is now riding the pine behind Delonte West and Rajon Rondo in Boston. That’s the same Rajon Rondo who sank 28 3-pointers in two full seasons at Kentucky.
Telfair is the quintessential example of the high-school kid who wasn’t ready for David Stern’s Association, Bassy is shooting under 40 percent from the field (39 percent) for the third straight season, again averaging single digits in scoring (7.6) and still dishing out less than four assists per game (3.4). He hasn’t improved upon the brief glimpse of potential he flashed for a shot-clock length during his rookie season.
Right now, Telfair couldn’t get into the lane against my rec team.
With the rise of the point guard in the NBA, his stunted development sticks out like a soar pinkie ring. Good thing Sonny Vaccaro locked him up to that sweet Adidas shoe contract. Bassy’s name might still ring out in the streets of Coney Island.
Making matters worse, the Blazers passed up (in order) Al Jefferson, J-Smoove, J.R. Smith, Jameer “Disputed Naismith Award Winner” Nelson, West, Tony Allen, Beno Udrih and Trevor Ariza to pick him in the lottery. Is Telfair better than a single player in that queue?
I haven’t even mentioned his beef with cousin Stephon Marbury. But at least Telfair got the better shoe deal.
Now let’s get into his burgeoning rap sheet. Last February, Bass brought his girlfriend’s loaded pistol onto a team flight hidden in a pillowcase. Apparently, Telfair didn’t attend Home Ec classes at Lincoln. (The gun goes inside the false panel of the Escalade’s glove box, not in your pillowcase.)
This preseason, Telfair was involved in some kind of dust-up where his $50,000 chain was ripped from his neck at Puff Daddy’s steakhouse in New York. Apparently, the scenario involved rapper Fabolous getting shot at some point.
That’s some serious wood right there.
On Feb. 1, the greatest point guard to skip college logged his first DNP of the season, in the midst of the Celtics’14-game losing streak.
This line from ESPN’s John Hollinger sums up Telfair pretty well:
“Suffice it to say that in 2005-06, a movie about Telfair's life proved far more interesting than his actual life.”
Marcus Banks, SG, Phoenix Suns
2006/07 Stats: 11.4 mpg, 4.8 ppg, 0.9 rpg, 1.4 apg, .414 FG%, .115 3pt %
2006/07 Salary: $3,600,000
Suns’ fans had better hope that Mike D’Antoni the GM turns out to be as good as Mike D’Antoni the coach. This past summer, D’ Antoni, in a huff to find a competent backup point guard for Steve Nash, threw fistfuls of money at Banks instead of drafting a guy like Marcus Williams.
Big Mistake.
Banks got his fat contract after 40 above-average games with Minnesota last season.
So far, the move has been an utter disaster for Phoenix, with Banks barely cracking the rotation because of his wildly erratic play. To make matters worse, Banks ineptitude has meant more time on the floor for Nash, who recently suffered his yearly semi-serious injury.
The former UNLV man is logging just 11 minutes a night and averaging a shade under five points per game. Banks is also shooting a laughable 11.5 percent from 3-point range (3-for-26). Remember, this is a Phoenix system that made Quentin Richardson look like Dale Ellis. This guy is a guard, remember.
Being an avid fan of Big Monday, I used to watch a lot of UNLV games when Banks was there. He was arguably the Rebels best player since Shawn Marion, a fearless guard who could drive the lane and make things happen.
So far in the NBA, the only skill set Banks has shown is poor decision-making, woeful
shooting (42 percent for his career) and a bad attitude. When Danny Ainge gives up on you, you know you’re in trouble.
Banks makes this list primarily because his ineptitude is affecting Nash.
That five-year, $21-million dollar contract is looking like a massive gaffe right now, considering D’Antoni is already dangling Banks in trade talks according to various published reports.
Maybe this signing is a precursor of dark times in the desert, seeing Bryan Colangelo drafted and then reacquired Nash, drafted Marion and Amare Stoudamire and traded for Leandro Barbosa and Boris Diaw. He also rid the Suns of Marbury.
So far, if Marion is “The Matrix”, Banks is Ballard. And you can’t think Mike D’Antoni and his moustache for that.
Brian Cardinal, SF, Memphis Grizzlies
2006/07 Stats: 11.3 mpg, 4.7 ppg, 2.1 rpg,
2006/07 Salary: $5,400,000...on the books until 2009/10 where he'll pocket $6.75 million
Take one look at this guy and you’ll see why he’s in the Newble zone.
“The Janitor” is everything that was great about your father’s NBA. Translation -- he’s white and he hustles. Hustle is a nice trait, but Cardinal can’t play one iota. It irks me that a guy like Rashad Anderson can’t even crack an NBA roster but Cardinal is solidified in the Memphis rotation.
Back in 2003-2004, Cardinal had a decent season with the Warriors and parlayed that into a monster contract from the suddenly cash-flush Grizzlies. Unfortunately, it made all of his hair fall out. Diving for loose balls and shooting the occasional 3-pointer wreaks havoc on a man’s hairline.
With his seven-year; $45-million deal, Cardinal could probably buy Graceland. And possibly Fat Elvis’ hair. No wonder the Grizzlies are now one of the worst team’s in the league. Just look at their roster.
Cardinal is averaging less than seven points per game for his career and grabbing 2.2 rebounds. His most comparable player is Darius Songalia, who makes half as much money. And Jerry West gave him the GDP of Ghana.
Just imagine what a guy like Dave Cowens, who is roughly the same size as “The Janitor", would make now.
We try to limit this list to guys who actually play (Cardinal is only averaging about 11 minutes per game) but he’s a walking reminder of how absurd NBA contracts have gotten lately. And we haven’t even broached the subject of Jerome James yet.
Jason Collins, PF, New Jersey Nets
2006/07 Stats: 23.3 mpg, 2.5 ppg, 4.2 rpg, .339 FG%, .485 FT%
2006/07 Salary: $5,800,000
One of the world’s greatest mysteries aside from global warming, D.B.Cooper and who built the pyramids is where the New Jersey Nets came from. Since the Nets hired Rod Thorn, traded for Jason Kidd and sold themselves to Jay Z, their “fans” have been rising from the Swamp with alacrity, like the zombies in “Land of the Dead.”
Lots of those Nets fans, who happen to call into WFAN quiet frequently, like to rip Eddy Curry.
“He’s overpaid,” “He can’t rebound,” “He’s lazy,” “His heart is weaker than Chris Farley’s.” Those are their typical refrains.
Yet I retort.
If the Nets’ fans want all of those attributes, minus the bum ticker, glance at their starting five and witness Jason Collins in the power forward slot. Actually, “power” forward is a bit of stretch, seeing Collins is a total Streisand. He’s softer than a slap from Kidd’s wife.
But armed with a $25-million contract, Collins, who becomes the second Newble-ist from Stanford (see Madsen, Mark) , is averaging 2.5 points and 4.2 rebounds in 50 starts. By the way, He’s 7-0, 260-lbs.
As it type this, Kidd is currently the Nets’ leading rebounder at eight per game. He’s 6-4. And a point guard. So when the playoffs roll around and the Nets are at home, blame Collins and his shrinking violet presence in the low blocks.
Statistically-speaking, according to player efficiency rating (PER), Collins is currently not only the least valuable player in NBA, he’s the least valuable player that ever played over 1,500 minutes in the league since 1987. Look if up if you don’t believe. That kind of atrocity explains itself.
Maybe the Nets can petition the NBA to allow the Collins and his twin brother, Jarron, to play as one player, sort of like Master Blaster.
Jerome James, C, New York Knicks
2006/07 Stats: 7.2 mpg, 2.5 ppg, 1.7 rpg, 0.3 bpg
2006/07 Salary: $5,400,000 (really want to vomit, look at this.)
To understand the man and the myth, you must know the legend.
Supposedly, while James was a student at Florida A&M, its basketball coach spotted him walking around the campus and convinced him to play hoops. J^2 had no prior experience in organized basketball, but went on to lead the NCAA in blocks.
It was like the beginning of a bad horror movie. Obviously, the A&M coach had no idea the great terror and fury he was unleashing on the NBA.
James has been nothing short of debacle for the Knicks.
Isiah Thomas could’ve spent that $35 million better if he lit it on fire in Penn Station and doused it out with the contents of Jim Dolan’s liquor cabinet.
The definition of contract-year player, Thomas wooed James after a solid postseason run with the Sonics in 2005.
So far, his Knick career has consisted of nothing but sitting on the bench, getting fatter and providing six steady fouls on the chance occasion that he actually enters the game.
James, at 7-1 and a generous 280, is one of the most foul-prone players in NBA history, with a solid career average of 9.6 hacks per 48 minutes. Incredibly, he could almost foul out twice if he ever played a full game. But that would require actually leaving the bench, which James rarely does, unless it’s to jump into a melee with the Denver Nuggets.
I thought he, “only worried about Jerome?”
Overall, his very presence is a blight to the league. And he nickname is “Big Snacks.”
In the immortal words of Wolverine, “nuff said.”
Postscript
I just blacked out when I realized James started tonight against the Warriors. The Knicks lost 120-101 and “Big Snacks” played two minutes, scoring zero points and missing both of his shots. Amazingly enough, he didn’t commit any fouls.
Previous teams, here. Forgive the sloppiness. That was a long time ago.
Next week: A big, juicy, meaty Champions League recap/lookahead. A yay or nay and other baloney.
Labels: nba's worst
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