"I want to C-U-P." -- Marge Simpson
Saturday Chelsea and Manchester United meet in the first FA Cup final at the new Wembley Stadium in London, as last seen in the penultimate scene in '28 Weeks Later'.
Forgive me for not really caring.
Yes, the FA Cup is the world's oldest soccer competition, dating back to 1871. And yeah, Chelsea and Manchester United finished one-two in the Premier League that emerged from the 687-team slugfest.
For me, it's simply a yawn.
Let me explain.
As a fan of the beautiful game living in America, I simply can't get too jazzed up for the FA Cup, particularly this year's incarnation where you have two of arguably the top 10 teams in the world playing. Normally this would add for a lot of excitement and intrigue, but for whatever reason I honestly could care less come Saturday, the real title has already been decided. Over 38 games, Manchester United were the better team, what does one knockout game mean?
Personally, the excitement of the FA Cup or any other knockout competition is the rise of the underdog. The team from the lower league that scores the upset. (Granted this in turn could lead to the 2004 final, where Manchester Utd. thumped Millwall 3-0.)
Saturday, there's none of that. It's simply two teams adding to their already well-stocked trophy cases. In this case Manchester United has won 11 FA Cups, Chelsea 3, neither of whom are really worth rooting for either.
Most of the drama ahead of this game centers of Jose Mourinho -- dog lover. Will this be the final game in charge of the Blues for the 'Special One'? Same for Frank the Tank, is Barca in his future?
I suppose Mancester Utd. fans would be pumped to capture the domestic double, too.
But simply put, as a fan of the English game living in America this game does nothing for me. The pomp, the circumstance, the tradition, etc. it is lost on me. There's no way I can truly ever really get the FA Cup.
I'm not a bloody English. I don't enjoy a breakfast of beans, toast, fried tomato and blood sausage, neither.
Getting wrapped up in an interesting league is one thing. Trying to force yourself to care about a competition thats been eclipsed by some many other things, is another.
Unless you have "MUFC" tattooed under your lower lip, it doesn't make sense to plunk down $30-odd USD for just another football game.
The FA Cup is lost in translation for me.
And you know what, that's not really a bad thing. In an age of increased globalisation in soccer, might as well let the English have something they can truly call their own.
I'm more interested in the promotion playoff final between West Bromich Albion and Derby County on May 28 anyway. My rooting interests in this one -- torn. On the one hand you the possibility of the Baggies back in the top flight, and I relish the chance for using that nickname for an entire year. Then again, Derby has Dean Leacock. Try saying that with a straight face.
Game prediction: Right now I'm in the camp that Jose is leaving, not necessarily to Real Madrid, but somewhere. So this has a good chance to play out as Chelsea's going away party. If you saw how Lampard, Jose and John Terry embraced following the 1-1 draw to Arsenal that eliminated them from winning their third straight title, it seems the end is near for this current Chelsea crew.
Injuries, of course, will have a lot of say in this one and Chelsea's hobbled defense (an ongoing theme this year) will surely be tested without Ricardo Carvalho or Ashley Cole. It's fitting that both Ballack and Shevchenko will miss the clash, too. For United, the Neviller is out. Boo-hoo.
We also get a battle between the EPL's two best players during the year -- Cristiano Ronaldo and Didier Drogba. Part of me think the twinkle-toed Portgueezer has one final amazing performance left in him this season before retiring to a nice quiet beach somewhere. (Wait...that didn't come out right.)
Team spirit is certainly in United's favor, as they only need look at Scholes or Giggs to find some inspiration, these two certainly know the importance of a double.
In the end, Chelsea still has the quality, but it's hard to figure will pretty much everyone at Stamford Bridge looking over their shoulder or toward the exit, that they'll muster the vigor that made them an unstoppable force the last three years. On the other side, SAF is looking to consolidate and get stronger, so a solid FA Cup will go a long way in impressing the Scot.
The pick: Manchester United 2, Chelsea 1 (Darren Fletcher nicks a late winner.)
And even with all I've written,...you can always get magic -- like this!
Around the globe
Germany
It's the final round in der Motherland and things are pretty simple. If Stuttgart defeats Engerie Cottbus at home, the title is theirs. Even if Stuttgart ties, they're in good shape since they're three goals better than second place Schalke.
Schalke plays Arminia Bielefeld and needs to win and pray.
Though it doesn't sound too promising in the Ruhr.
"We would look ridiculous if we were still hoping for a miracle," Schalke coach Mirko Slomka said.
That ought to rally the troops.
Stuttgart plays live on GolTV at 9:30 a.m. EST. Schalke follows, likely on delay.
Spain
It's certainly la vida loca in Spain.
With four games left, four teams could conceivably capture La Liga. Real Madrid leads with 66 points on goal difference over Barcelona. UEFA Cup winners Sevilla are two back, while Valencia is four.
Luckily, if you have GolTV you can watch all four games involving the contenders:
Saturday: Valencia/Mallorca 2 p.m.
Sunday: Deportivo La Coruña/Sevilla 11 a.m.
Recreativo/R.Madrid 1 p.m.
Atletico Madrid/Barcelona 3 p.m.
Should be good, maybe even great.
MLS
Couple decent games this weekend. A rematch of the 2006 Cup Final with the Revs playing the Dynamo in Houston, live on FSC at 8:30. Also, Sunday it's the second Los Angeles Superclasico with the Galaxy and Chivas.
Toronto, rapidly becoming my favorite side, won for the second time on Wednesday and are quickly shaking off the expansion tag. I'll really be impressed when they win a game away from the rabid, Molson-fueled, Looney-spending, loonies at BMO Field.
Finally, belated congrats to 'By Zero Divided' which finished first in the crummy EPL fantasy league I established. Well done...if you're reading this.
Thanks, natch.
That doesn't really make any sense, I just wanted to type 'natch'.
Couldn't ever really settle on a name for the team, so, eh. I like the D-backs of MLS, mostly because it now suggests either D-bags or Douchebacks since I've been confronted with it on a regular basis.
I'll be up bright and early at the Red Lion...I hear your sentiment, but it's still soccer, and we fans of the English have, what, two matches that count left? Of course I'll be watching, regardless of stakes of the endless list of injured plays for Chavski. For a $10 cover and a handful o' beers at 10 am, it seems worth it to me.
Anyway, as someone who wants to suck him off all night, I've seen that Gerrard goal about 750 times. And my favorite part -- EVERY TIME -- is when Andy Gray says "If anyone ever doubted your value to your side..."
Now I love Andy, but dude, who the hell was doubting Gerrard's value to his side? Who said, "ya know, I think Liverpool would be a lot better served without, what's his face, the skipper?" That makes me laugh every time I hear it.
Also, Martin Tyler's instinctual reaction to the goal is priceless. I can listen to the 10 seconds that follow "Four minutes added..." every day.