Let's go around the globe in under two minutes, shall we?
** There are brain farts and then there are brain farts. Whatever the French equivalent for brain fart is, that's what Arsene Wenger's boys did in a stunning 2-1 away loss at Middlesbrough, ending Arsenal's 15-game unbeaten run to start the season.
Making it worse, the scrub of all scrubs, ex-Gooner Jérémie Aliadière was brought down by Stinger Bell, err, Kolo Toure for a penalty in the fourth minute, converted by Stewart Downing.
Adding insult to injury, Turkish bust (so far at least) Tuncay scored the other 'Boro goal.
As Hirshey told me in an email, without Cesc and Hleb (Eastern Europe's third most popular comedy team) the Gunners have no creativity going forward.
Cesc is the Arsenal big toe, plain and simple.
In any event, shit is going to be wild with Arsenal now only a point ahead of Manchester United and three in front of the Blue menace that is Chelsea.
Sunday ought to be fun, eh?
It's Liverpool v. Manchester United and Arsenal v. Chelsea.
Those are kind of big games, right?
** Lost in the shuffle, at the other end of the table things are taking shape too. Derby is dead and Wigan is on life support with the entire Football League praying for a do-not-resuscitate order. Bolton and Spurs are both creeping ever-so-slightly from the drop zone, leaving a fun Texas Tornado/Musical Chairs with Fulham, Birmingham City, Middlesbrough and Sunderland for the other spot.
** Prem odds and ends -- Obliged to give Yakubu some D-A-P for his hattrick against Fulham. Too bad he'll be on African Cup of Nations call in a month. ... On the same note, most of Portsmouth's team is headed back home for the tournament. That could be the only thing that denies Pompey a top four finish. ... Funny how things work. Newcastle fans are calling for Sam Allardyce's head on a plate, then he draws Arsenal and wins against Birmingham at the death. ... Wonder if the Hatton loss to Mayweather had anything to do with Man City's 2-1 loss at Tottenham. And yes, I do have a cheshire cat grin on my face about the impending City slide down the table. ... If they did a straight Prem League MVP, Cesc, Elano and David Bentley all are in consideration, as all their teams lost without their talismans. ... Manchester United 4, Derby 1, shock result of the weekend. ... I've pimped him in the past, so it's not new that I say Reading's James Harper is a nice little player.
** Fantasy team of the week -- The erstwhile Gil Torpedo, Michael Suppe's Yid Army. Somehow he managed 78 points with a 5-2-3 formation, headed by Sulley Muntari and Carlos Tevez, alongside a high-scoring defense. Congrats.
** Glad to see you're back, Bobby Convey. Mr. Glass himself shined in Reading's 3-1 win over Liverpool. Incisive passes, a couple good cracks from distance coupled with a few nice runs and it was the best the young American has played, probably since the 2005-06 season when Reading was promoted.
More importantly, if he can remain healthy, Convey provides cover on the left side of midfield for the USMNT while DaMarcus Beasley is sidelined with his knee injury. Let's just hope this latest flash isn't just another tease from the former DC United-man.
Oh, and we'll let somebody else lineup the freekicks, too.
** Convey wasn't the only Yank to shine this weekend. The Golden Boy, Michael Bradley, netted a hat trick for Heerenveen in a 4-2 win vs. Gronigen, the biggest derby in the Northern Netherlands. Super Husk points for a speaking Dutch.
It's safe to say a Heerenveen home shirt just vaulted to the top of my Life Day shopping list.
** It only took three months, but there's finally some excitement in the Champions League. The final matchday of the group leaves two groups with everything to play for and a couple stalwarts fighting for their lives.
Group A -- Liverpool are through with a win at Marseille. The Reds can probably survive a draw due to a +9 goal difference. Even Besiktas can advance with a win at Porto. Liverpool is out with a loss. Amazingly, stunningly, miraculously the Liverpool match will be live on ESPN2 in America on Tuesday at 2:45. (during the Reading game on Saturday, the announcer said Liverpool can only advance with a win. I don't comprehend why. There could be three teams on eight points, and Liverpool has the best goal difference by far. Explain!)
Group B -- Chelsea is through. Incredibly, Rosenborg gets through with a draw or win over Schalke in Gelsenkirchen. Schalke gets by with a win. An upset is in the cards, with the first place group winners licking their chops for a chance at the Norwegians, Iverson or not.
Group C -- Absolutely wild. Real Madird and Olympiakos lead with eight. Werder Bremen is on six and Lazio on five. Werder heads to Greece, while Madrid hosts Lazio. There are too many permutations, but the short list is Real, Olympiakos and Bremen advance with wins. Real and Olympiakos advance with ties. Lazio needs to win and get some help on goal difference.
Group D -- Done. Milan, Celtic are through.
Group E -- Believe it or not, Rangers holds all the cards when they host former French juggernaut Lyon at Ibrox. Double wonderful, this one is on ESPN2, too on Wednesday. Rangers advance with a draw because they enter the game +1 on goal difference, while Lyon is -2.
Group F -- Manchester United and Roma are through and play each other, which nine times out of 10 would have been on ESPN2. Somebody is Brisol is awake for a change.
Group G -- Inter is already through and goes to Eindhoven with PSV needing a win and help, as Fenerbache simply needs to win at home vs. CSKA to advance.
Group F -- Surprise, surprise, Arsenal and Sevilla got past Slavia Prague and Steaua Bucharest.
** Bet you didn't know Sports Illustrated Latino existed. It does. It named a Sportsman of the Year, no, not Brett Favre. It's Lionel Messi. Wise choice for the most part. Here's the story by John Carlin. Like most soccer features, it doesn't reveal much. As flashy as Messi's game is, his personality seems just as boring. As long as he keeps doing stuff like below, he could be as wild off the field as Janet Reno.
In La Liga, not a lot of change at the top. Real Madrid and Barcelona both won and remain one, two. The rest of the Spainish top five is a surprise, of sorts. Athletico Madrid (Ewing-theory on Torres?) is third. Villareal (another kit on the Life Day list) is fourth, followed by Espanyol, aka the new Sevilla.
** Not a good weekend in hooliganism. A German policeman was severely hurt in a clash between fans of VfL Bochum and Karlsruher SC. Unfortunate. In France, PSG -- rapidly becoming the most notorious goons in Western Europe -- clashed with fans at Auxurre, with one PSG hooligan arrested for attacking a police. No, his name was not Michel Vick.
** That chill you felt? It's that ESPN is interested in acquiring Premier League rights in Britain come 2009. Read here. Be afraid Britons. Very afraid. Boo-yah!
** Finally, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Fans in Poland are masculine. Luca Brazi's wildest dreams kind of masculine.

See that guy standing atop the table, he is the actual builder of the Eiffel Tower. He did it with steel and brawn.
Enjoy the new Halo 3 maps...
** There are brain farts and then there are brain farts. Whatever the French equivalent for brain fart is, that's what Arsene Wenger's boys did in a stunning 2-1 away loss at Middlesbrough, ending Arsenal's 15-game unbeaten run to start the season.
Making it worse, the scrub of all scrubs, ex-Gooner Jérémie Aliadière was brought down by Stinger Bell, err, Kolo Toure for a penalty in the fourth minute, converted by Stewart Downing.
Adding insult to injury, Turkish bust (so far at least) Tuncay scored the other 'Boro goal.
As Hirshey told me in an email, without Cesc and Hleb (Eastern Europe's third most popular comedy team) the Gunners have no creativity going forward.
Cesc is the Arsenal big toe, plain and simple.
In any event, shit is going to be wild with Arsenal now only a point ahead of Manchester United and three in front of the Blue menace that is Chelsea.
Sunday ought to be fun, eh?
It's Liverpool v. Manchester United and Arsenal v. Chelsea.
Those are kind of big games, right?
** Lost in the shuffle, at the other end of the table things are taking shape too. Derby is dead and Wigan is on life support with the entire Football League praying for a do-not-resuscitate order. Bolton and Spurs are both creeping ever-so-slightly from the drop zone, leaving a fun Texas Tornado/Musical Chairs with Fulham, Birmingham City, Middlesbrough and Sunderland for the other spot.
** Prem odds and ends -- Obliged to give Yakubu some D-A-P for his hattrick against Fulham. Too bad he'll be on African Cup of Nations call in a month. ... On the same note, most of Portsmouth's team is headed back home for the tournament. That could be the only thing that denies Pompey a top four finish. ... Funny how things work. Newcastle fans are calling for Sam Allardyce's head on a plate, then he draws Arsenal and wins against Birmingham at the death. ... Wonder if the Hatton loss to Mayweather had anything to do with Man City's 2-1 loss at Tottenham. And yes, I do have a cheshire cat grin on my face about the impending City slide down the table. ... If they did a straight Prem League MVP, Cesc, Elano and David Bentley all are in consideration, as all their teams lost without their talismans. ... Manchester United 4, Derby 1, shock result of the weekend. ... I've pimped him in the past, so it's not new that I say Reading's James Harper is a nice little player.
** Fantasy team of the week -- The erstwhile Gil Torpedo, Michael Suppe's Yid Army. Somehow he managed 78 points with a 5-2-3 formation, headed by Sulley Muntari and Carlos Tevez, alongside a high-scoring defense. Congrats.
** Glad to see you're back, Bobby Convey. Mr. Glass himself shined in Reading's 3-1 win over Liverpool. Incisive passes, a couple good cracks from distance coupled with a few nice runs and it was the best the young American has played, probably since the 2005-06 season when Reading was promoted.
More importantly, if he can remain healthy, Convey provides cover on the left side of midfield for the USMNT while DaMarcus Beasley is sidelined with his knee injury. Let's just hope this latest flash isn't just another tease from the former DC United-man.
Oh, and we'll let somebody else lineup the freekicks, too.
** Convey wasn't the only Yank to shine this weekend. The Golden Boy, Michael Bradley, netted a hat trick for Heerenveen in a 4-2 win vs. Gronigen, the biggest derby in the Northern Netherlands. Super Husk points for a speaking Dutch.
It's safe to say a Heerenveen home shirt just vaulted to the top of my Life Day shopping list.
** It only took three months, but there's finally some excitement in the Champions League. The final matchday of the group leaves two groups with everything to play for and a couple stalwarts fighting for their lives.
Group A -- Liverpool are through with a win at Marseille. The Reds can probably survive a draw due to a +9 goal difference. Even Besiktas can advance with a win at Porto. Liverpool is out with a loss. Amazingly, stunningly, miraculously the Liverpool match will be live on ESPN2 in America on Tuesday at 2:45. (during the Reading game on Saturday, the announcer said Liverpool can only advance with a win. I don't comprehend why. There could be three teams on eight points, and Liverpool has the best goal difference by far. Explain!)
Group B -- Chelsea is through. Incredibly, Rosenborg gets through with a draw or win over Schalke in Gelsenkirchen. Schalke gets by with a win. An upset is in the cards, with the first place group winners licking their chops for a chance at the Norwegians, Iverson or not.
Group C -- Absolutely wild. Real Madird and Olympiakos lead with eight. Werder Bremen is on six and Lazio on five. Werder heads to Greece, while Madrid hosts Lazio. There are too many permutations, but the short list is Real, Olympiakos and Bremen advance with wins. Real and Olympiakos advance with ties. Lazio needs to win and get some help on goal difference.
Group D -- Done. Milan, Celtic are through.
Group E -- Believe it or not, Rangers holds all the cards when they host former French juggernaut Lyon at Ibrox. Double wonderful, this one is on ESPN2, too on Wednesday. Rangers advance with a draw because they enter the game +1 on goal difference, while Lyon is -2.
Group F -- Manchester United and Roma are through and play each other, which nine times out of 10 would have been on ESPN2. Somebody is Brisol is awake for a change.
Group G -- Inter is already through and goes to Eindhoven with PSV needing a win and help, as Fenerbache simply needs to win at home vs. CSKA to advance.
Group F -- Surprise, surprise, Arsenal and Sevilla got past Slavia Prague and Steaua Bucharest.
** Bet you didn't know Sports Illustrated Latino existed. It does. It named a Sportsman of the Year, no, not Brett Favre. It's Lionel Messi. Wise choice for the most part. Here's the story by John Carlin. Like most soccer features, it doesn't reveal much. As flashy as Messi's game is, his personality seems just as boring. As long as he keeps doing stuff like below, he could be as wild off the field as Janet Reno.
In La Liga, not a lot of change at the top. Real Madrid and Barcelona both won and remain one, two. The rest of the Spainish top five is a surprise, of sorts. Athletico Madrid (Ewing-theory on Torres?) is third. Villareal (another kit on the Life Day list) is fourth, followed by Espanyol, aka the new Sevilla.
** Not a good weekend in hooliganism. A German policeman was severely hurt in a clash between fans of VfL Bochum and Karlsruher SC. Unfortunate. In France, PSG -- rapidly becoming the most notorious goons in Western Europe -- clashed with fans at Auxurre, with one PSG hooligan arrested for attacking a police. No, his name was not Michel Vick.
** That chill you felt? It's that ESPN is interested in acquiring Premier League rights in Britain come 2009. Read here. Be afraid Britons. Very afraid. Boo-yah!
** Finally, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Fans in Poland are masculine. Luca Brazi's wildest dreams kind of masculine.

See that guy standing atop the table, he is the actual builder of the Eiffel Tower. He did it with steel and brawn.
Enjoy the new Halo 3 maps...
Labels: Arsenal, champions league, Chelsea, Lionel Messi, Liverpool, Michael Bradley, Soccer



Do I win anything? A free post?
-Suppe
Liverpool may be done in because, I believe, Champs League's first tiebreak is the head to head. I'm not invested enough in them to go look how the first tie went though.
Kolo Toure as Stringer Bell -- that's a great call!
Re: Liverpool. They advance with a win, and are out with a loss. In the event they draw, things get a little trickier...
If Porto get a result, Porto will be on 9 points, Liverpool and Marseille on 8. The first tie-breaker is head-to-head, so Marseille get through from the 1-0 win at Anfield.
If Porto were to lose, Beskitas get through on 9 points, with everyone else level on 8. Since head-to-head wouldn't apply with three teams tied, Liverpool would get through with the superior goal differential.
SO...it's possible that Beskitas could top the table w/ 9 points and a -8 GD, with Liverpool in the second pool w/ a much tougher draw on +9, Marseille to the UEFA Cup w/ +1, and Porto out of Europe on -1.