"I'm a weed in Hitler's bunker!" -- George Costanza
Earlier in this season I used that quote from Costanza's meltdown at Play Now Sports to describe Wigan Athletic. That's probably unfair. The Latics are more of second-rate dictator, a Chiang Kai-shek, as it were.
No, today we'll use the allusion for everyone's least favorite world football superpower -- Chelsea. The dreaded Blues are amazingly now only five points off the Premier League pace, with a game in hand.
This, friends, is a depressing development.
In year's past, at least Chelsea was occasionally enjoyable to watch. Occasionally. Now, with Cashley, Herr Ballack, Nic Anelka and Frank the Tank's deflected shots they are officially the most loathsome world XI, surpassing Team Evil from Shaolin Soccer and the New England Patriots.
Yet, a third Prem crown in four seasons remains a strong chance since the Blues control their own destiny to some extent. Chelsea hosts both leaders Arsenal and second-place Manchester United at Mordor, err, Stamford Bridge. (Live kitten sacrifices at halftime.)
Aside from that Chelsea has three semi-difficult matches remaings -- away to Spurs, away to Man City and away to Everton. The rest of the fixtures are winnable -- Sunderland, Middlesbrough, Wigan, Newcastle and Bolton.
Cesc Fabregas isn't exactly Frodo Baggins and Wayne Rooney (despite visual evidence) is no Samwise Gamgee. Still, they're better options than the boys in Blue. Argh.
Even more frustrating, Chelsea draws Fenerbache in the Champions League quarterfinals. Hopefully the Turks put up a better fight than the Greeks.
* UEFA CL Draw -- The rest of the draw, fair. Manchester United/Roma can't finished 7-1 again, can it? Naturally, Cinderella Schalke gets Barca, which means their run is over. And Liverpool/Arsenal, a very interesting tie.
* USMNT Olympic team -- The U-23s got back on track for the smog of Beijing beating Panama 1-0 on a first half penalty kick by Freddy Adu, set up when Jozy Altidore was taken down on a 1-v-1 by the keeper.
Not much to talk about here, except no players defected from either side.
Stuart Holden might be partly Scottish, but he's not crap. (Sorry.) He's got a pretty insane workrate and was all over the place.
Lookalikes? Sasha Kljestan and Adrien Brody? Marvell Wynne and Wee Bay Brice?
Saturday
* Derby v. Manchester United -- (Live, Setanta, 10:30 a.m.) Rumor circulating, that Derby County's new American management has installed a secretly placed land mine buried in Pride Park. ... Derby -1,000,000, Manchester United 5
* Sunderland v. Chelsea -- (Live, Setanta Broadband, 11 a.m.) Today's the day Lampard scores one that puts the magic bullet/loogie to shame. .. Sunderland 0, Chelsea 1
* Liverpool v. Reading -- (Live on FSC, 11 a.m.) The Royals got a draw back at the Madjeski, sending the Reds to perhaps their lowest point of the season. You'd pretty much have to be blinded by the stripes to think Ibrahima Sonko & Co. can stop Fro Torres. ... Liverpool 3, Reading 0
* West Ham v. Blackburn -- How on earth did the Hammers lose three straight 4-0 games? Oh right, typical Alan Curbishley, start okay, fade down the stretch. Apparently Croat coach Slava Bilic is linked to the job. He, or someone else will have it by the end of Euro 2008. If you're wrapped up in the fight for a UEFA Cup spot, this is the match for you. ... West Ham 1, Blackburn 2
* Portsmouth v. Aston Villa -- (Delayed, FSC, 11 p.m.) Yeah, it's delayed until 11 p.m. on a Saturday night, but you know Fabio Capello is watching this one. ... Pompey 2, Villa 0
* Arsenal v. Middlesbrough -- (Live on FSC, 1 p.m.) Logic dictates a walk in the park for Arsenal since a) they're coming off a draw to Wigan b) 'Boro beat them earlier in the year. The Gunners should win this one, but you wonder if all the 'lesser' teams are starting to follow the Birmingham blueprint against Arsenal -- pack it in and make Arsenal earn it. It might be blasphemy and a lightning bolt from Hirshey strike me down, but for all their wonderous passing, the Gunners aren't exactly the most creative team in the world. They're coming at you direct, looking for that nicely timed pass to get 1-v-1 spots. That said, is David Wheater and the rapidly decling Mark Schwarzer going to stop it? ... Arsenal 2, 'Boro 0
Sunday
* Fulham v. Everton -- (Live, Setanta 9:30 a.m.) Fulham might, might have a chance here if the Toffees are still deflated from their UEFA Cup loss to Fiorentina. That's not very likely. When you're racing your hated neighbors for the Champions League, David Moyes isn't sparing the whip. More likely they'll whip Fulham, even with Jimmy Bullard's superman display from set pieces. ... Fulham 0, Everton 1
* Wigan v. Bolton -- Apparently there is some pretty shocking shit on the Internet (Creed Thoughts). I won't discuss what this is, or try to fathom why high school kids are obessed with people mutilating themselves. This game is almost on that par, sorry Steve Bruce. ... Wigan 1, Bolton 0
* Manchester City v. Tottenham -- (Live on FSC, noon) It's kind of shocking that Man City is ninth in the table on 45 points, with Spurs in 11th on 35. Right now, it's hard to believe City are 10 points better than Spurs. Elano and all of Sven's foreign legion seem out of gas and depressed by the English winter. ... City 1, Spurs 1
Monday
* Birmingham City v. Newcastle United -- (Live, Setanta 3ish) Ok, Brad, I agree it's officially time to worry about the Magpies. ... Birmingham 1, Newcastle 1
Last week: 2-7
Season: 139-146
Earlier in this season I used that quote from Costanza's meltdown at Play Now Sports to describe Wigan Athletic. That's probably unfair. The Latics are more of second-rate dictator, a Chiang Kai-shek, as it were.
No, today we'll use the allusion for everyone's least favorite world football superpower -- Chelsea. The dreaded Blues are amazingly now only five points off the Premier League pace, with a game in hand.
This, friends, is a depressing development.
In year's past, at least Chelsea was occasionally enjoyable to watch. Occasionally. Now, with Cashley, Herr Ballack, Nic Anelka and Frank the Tank's deflected shots they are officially the most loathsome world XI, surpassing Team Evil from Shaolin Soccer and the New England Patriots.
Yet, a third Prem crown in four seasons remains a strong chance since the Blues control their own destiny to some extent. Chelsea hosts both leaders Arsenal and second-place Manchester United at Mordor, err, Stamford Bridge. (Live kitten sacrifices at halftime.)
Aside from that Chelsea has three semi-difficult matches remaings -- away to Spurs, away to Man City and away to Everton. The rest of the fixtures are winnable -- Sunderland, Middlesbrough, Wigan, Newcastle and Bolton.
Cesc Fabregas isn't exactly Frodo Baggins and Wayne Rooney (despite visual evidence) is no Samwise Gamgee. Still, they're better options than the boys in Blue. Argh.
Even more frustrating, Chelsea draws Fenerbache in the Champions League quarterfinals. Hopefully the Turks put up a better fight than the Greeks.
* UEFA CL Draw -- The rest of the draw, fair. Manchester United/Roma can't finished 7-1 again, can it? Naturally, Cinderella Schalke gets Barca, which means their run is over. And Liverpool/Arsenal, a very interesting tie.
* USMNT Olympic team -- The U-23s got back on track for the smog of Beijing beating Panama 1-0 on a first half penalty kick by Freddy Adu, set up when Jozy Altidore was taken down on a 1-v-1 by the keeper.
Not much to talk about here, except no players defected from either side.
Stuart Holden might be partly Scottish, but he's not crap. (Sorry.) He's got a pretty insane workrate and was all over the place.
Lookalikes? Sasha Kljestan and Adrien Brody? Marvell Wynne and Wee Bay Brice?
Saturday
* Derby v. Manchester United -- (Live, Setanta, 10:30 a.m.) Rumor circulating, that Derby County's new American management has installed a secretly placed land mine buried in Pride Park. ... Derby -1,000,000, Manchester United 5
* Sunderland v. Chelsea -- (Live, Setanta Broadband, 11 a.m.) Today's the day Lampard scores one that puts the magic bullet/loogie to shame. .. Sunderland 0, Chelsea 1
* Liverpool v. Reading -- (Live on FSC, 11 a.m.) The Royals got a draw back at the Madjeski, sending the Reds to perhaps their lowest point of the season. You'd pretty much have to be blinded by the stripes to think Ibrahima Sonko & Co. can stop Fro Torres. ... Liverpool 3, Reading 0
* West Ham v. Blackburn -- How on earth did the Hammers lose three straight 4-0 games? Oh right, typical Alan Curbishley, start okay, fade down the stretch. Apparently Croat coach Slava Bilic is linked to the job. He, or someone else will have it by the end of Euro 2008. If you're wrapped up in the fight for a UEFA Cup spot, this is the match for you. ... West Ham 1, Blackburn 2
* Portsmouth v. Aston Villa -- (Delayed, FSC, 11 p.m.) Yeah, it's delayed until 11 p.m. on a Saturday night, but you know Fabio Capello is watching this one. ... Pompey 2, Villa 0
* Arsenal v. Middlesbrough -- (Live on FSC, 1 p.m.) Logic dictates a walk in the park for Arsenal since a) they're coming off a draw to Wigan b) 'Boro beat them earlier in the year. The Gunners should win this one, but you wonder if all the 'lesser' teams are starting to follow the Birmingham blueprint against Arsenal -- pack it in and make Arsenal earn it. It might be blasphemy and a lightning bolt from Hirshey strike me down, but for all their wonderous passing, the Gunners aren't exactly the most creative team in the world. They're coming at you direct, looking for that nicely timed pass to get 1-v-1 spots. That said, is David Wheater and the rapidly decling Mark Schwarzer going to stop it? ... Arsenal 2, 'Boro 0
Sunday
* Fulham v. Everton -- (Live, Setanta 9:30 a.m.) Fulham might, might have a chance here if the Toffees are still deflated from their UEFA Cup loss to Fiorentina. That's not very likely. When you're racing your hated neighbors for the Champions League, David Moyes isn't sparing the whip. More likely they'll whip Fulham, even with Jimmy Bullard's superman display from set pieces. ... Fulham 0, Everton 1
* Wigan v. Bolton -- Apparently there is some pretty shocking shit on the Internet (Creed Thoughts). I won't discuss what this is, or try to fathom why high school kids are obessed with people mutilating themselves. This game is almost on that par, sorry Steve Bruce. ... Wigan 1, Bolton 0
* Manchester City v. Tottenham -- (Live on FSC, noon) It's kind of shocking that Man City is ninth in the table on 45 points, with Spurs in 11th on 35. Right now, it's hard to believe City are 10 points better than Spurs. Elano and all of Sven's foreign legion seem out of gas and depressed by the English winter. ... City 1, Spurs 1
Monday
* Birmingham City v. Newcastle United -- (Live, Setanta 3ish) Ok, Brad, I agree it's officially time to worry about the Magpies. ... Birmingham 1, Newcastle 1
Last week: 2-7
Season: 139-146
Labels: champions league, Chelsea, Prem League, Soccer, USMNT
OK, fair enough, no one wants to see Chelsea win the league. As a Spurs supporter, I don't see any really great options, although I suppose ManU will do compared to the options available to me.
With that said, if you're a Prem frontrunner like so many in the US are, you have to at least like the fact we have a genuine race at the top. The last few seasons have been cakewalks at the top for the most part and more of the action has been around 4th place (the oh so depressing season Spurs should have been in the CL). Let's take a moment and at least appreciate the fact that we have a championship race, as well as the CL to keep us entertained. Heck, there's even a 4th place race if you have nostalgia for that, and a pretty good relegation battle developing, at least for the last spot.
Just saying, this season hasn't been nearly the crapfest some EPL campaigns are, and we should appreciate that.
Thats just depressing.
As a side note, the Galaxy are coming to town tomorrow evening and I'll be in attendance. Should be fun.
Mexico v China just announced here in Seattle to be played in mid-April, on the heels of the Dalai Lama's visit.
Krazy times at Qwest Field.
Without any ado, and with zero fanfare I make my triumphant return to the Cardillo interwebs. I've been busy getting married to my fucking lady friend and celebrating MLS' arrival in Philadelphia. With that being said I couldn't help but post about the U-23's first two qualifiers. I haven't been this excited about a US national team since the most recent U-20 World Cup in Canada. The sad thing is I am being serious. So sit back, relax, and strap on your seatbelt. Here we go...
THE GOOD...
Freddy - just sick skills, pace, and awareness. Unbelievable that he is only 19. So excited that he has zero fear of actually shooting the ball.
Jozy - interest in running and participating ebbs and flows throughout the course of the game. He is so physically strong on the ball though. i hate that he's been playing as a lone striker. i don't think he is best suited to play a brian mcbride hold-up-the-play back to goal target type of forward role. i feel like he thrives in combination play and needs to be tighter to the midfielders.
Stuart Holden - holy fucking work rate.
Nathan Sturgis - rock steady.
Dax McCarty - smart, quick, keeps the ball on the carpet, a very calming influence on the ball. Has feet like Don Cornelius.
Michael Orozco - residen hard-guy. aside from a tendency to play every ball long he is a tough as nails center back he takes no shit off of nobody. he's like a checking line forward in hockey.
The I Need to See More...
Maurice Edu - went from a defensive midfield role against Cuba to a center back against Panama. Hasn't done anything extraordinary but somehow amazingly was a calming influence in the back. mysteriously makes sense that he wore the captains armband.
Chris Seitz - really has not been challenged yet. Came close to an open handed Charles Oakley-esque bitch slap of a Panamanian forward.
Sacha Kljestan - came in and solidified the midfield against los cubanos. too many turnovers against the manuel noriegans.
kamani hill - impressed in his ability and willingness to move forward from a none too familiar right back role. of all the bullshit moves nowak has made this one actually intrigues me. i'd love to see more of him on the back line.
The What the Eff Are These Guys Doing on the Squad....
Eddie Gaven - just a nightmare. I don't know if he has incriminating pictures of Sunil Gulati, but how he consistently gets called up I have no idea.
Charlie Davies - Greg Louganis would like his swimsuit back. Obviously has watched way too much of the Azzurri growing up. It is unsporting and unamerican to take THAT many dives. Good god man.
Chad Barrett - Oy.
The Where Have You Gone Joe (Max Moore) Dimaggio's...
Benny Feilhaber - could not possibly be any more upset that my man-crush was left off the team. Thanks Derby for making my Prem experience so memorable.
Anthony Wallace - destroyed anyone and everyone who came down the flank in the U-20 world cup. Why isn't he on the roster? I love this kid.
Lil Romeo - if Tim Floyd can give him a full ride to USC to play basketball why can't he find his way onto the U23 roster? America. Fuck Yeah.
Glad to be back Cardillo.