Cue the Star Wars Imperial March. Ok, let's do it for real.
Nothing probably exemplifies the dramatic turn of events on the English football season and the fans reaction that the John Williams composed tune. Simply put, nobody with a pulse can be too happy about Chelsea coming up roses in a pair of massive games in the span of five days. (Paging Grand Moff Tarkin.)
It's pretty clear that they've morphed into the late 1990s, early 2000s Yankees -- hopefully with less trophies. (Carl Pavano = Andriy Shevchenko)
Don't agree? Consider the own-goal off the Norweigan noggin of John Arne Riise as that little twerp leaning over the rightfield fence to turn Derek Jeter's would-be flyout against the Orioles in the 1996 ALCS. It's bad enough when a team can outspend everyone else, but when the cosmic breaks turn in their direction, fucking hell.
I'm as exasperated as poor Baltimore rightfielder Tony Tarasco looking up for a catch only to see a punk kid had leaned over the rail and snared it himself. For the love of all things holy, this possible Chelsea nightmare can't happen. We need a Luis Gonzalez to bloop one off Mariano Rivera, stat.
The cosmic karma shift carried into Chelsea's dramatic 2-1 win over Manchester United early Saturday morning, which was the classic "fart in the mouth." It stunk. It stunk a lot, even as a neutral who in theory should be excited for a title race going down to perhaps the last kick of the ball in a couple weeks. It stunk because it was won via a referee's whistle, which in many cases could (or should) have gone silent.
There are so many things to talk about here. The tween dramedy level hilarity between Didier Drogba and Michael Ballack fighting to take free kicks (ah, family spirit). The Vidic kneeing by Drogba. The brilliance of Rooney. Sir Alex screwing the pooch. Ballack. Bollocks. A Sheva sighting.
Oh right, the penalty decision against Michael Carrick.
Right now, I can't really say how I feel. Setanta Sports never showed a clear replay one way or the other. I suppose Carrick's hand must have nicked the ball, yet to call a penalty in that spot -- on the fringe of the area from a cross -- seems to be reading a little to close to the letter of the law, than the spirit of the law.
Granted, millions probably rejoiced that United were hard done by a penalty decision for a change. Still, it was rather dubious, to say the least.
Of course, United really don't have much a leg to stand on.
If you have a chance to win the league with a victory -- you do it, Tuesday's return leg with Barcelona be damned. Airing on the side of caution and resting Ronaldo and Tevez wasn't exactly a genius decision. If Vidic doesn't get his bell rung by Drogba's meaty thigh, perhaps Tevez come on later. Who knows. It's not like Ronaldo set the world afire in his second-half cameo. And at the point it was 1-1, a sounder strategy might have been to throw out some defensive subs, or at least shelled up some, right? Then again, the winning goal wasn't because of too many guys going forward.
The fact is, United really ought to kick themselves for not going ahead 2-1. There was a flurry of about 10 minutes following the Rooney equalizer where the boys in Red had a major chance to go ahead, but missed out. Games of this magnitude feature plenty of momentum turns, and to win you have to capitalize.
Overall, hate to say it, but Chelsea was probably a little better Saturday -- though a 1-1 draw would have been the fairer result. As unlikeable as he might be, you have to credit Ballack for his swift, BMW-like freeing run to set up his header in the closing seconds of the first half. The dead-eyed East German is probably as big a reason for Chelsea's surge back to the top than anyone. (Ugh, I feel dirty for writing that.)
In theory, due to Tevez's late-leveler against Blackburn last weekend, United had the luxury of losing this game. That means they need to win at home this weekend against West Ham and then go to Wigan and get three points.
It's safe to say, West Ham owes something from last year when United didn't try too hard after Tevez put the Irons up 1-0 and thus kept them afloat in the Prem. Above that, they don't seem the team to be able to withstand 90 minutes of out-and-out pressure -- especially at Old Trafford. The bigger trouble might be at Wigan, since the Latics have quietly become pretty crafty on defense under Steve Bruce. Since February Wigan has only let in nine goals in 10 league games, which isn't too shabby.
On the other hand, Chelsea might be in for a hiccup. Don't you think Newcastle's crazy season is due for another turn this weekend at St. Andrews. (Yeah, that's probably just wishful thinking.) Considering Bolton's recent fiestiness, the season closer for Chelsea might not be a romp, as expected. (Again, wishful thinking.)
Overall, let's hope the season ends more like the 'Return of the Jedi' as opposed to 'The Empire Strikes Back,' though asking Michael Owen, Matty Taylor & Co. to blowing up the Death Star might be a little much.
...
On the other end of the table simply -- wow. Wow as in, how in the span of about 20 minutes did Birmingham City blow a 2-0 lead at home to Liverpool and how in the name of flaming zombie Jesus did Fulham come back from 2-0 to win 3-2 at Manchester City. Expect an Armageddon of a game next weekend at Craven Cottage.
Not to burst your bubble Fulham fanatics, but they still are three points adrift. Yet, their Team America Jr., Reading, is basically in a mode right now where they hope their two pursuers stink a little worse than they do, because right now there isn't a deader team than the Royals.
Looking ahead, Reading hosts Tottenham in a game where they simply have to find the back of the net. Reading hasn't scored since March 22. Egads. Meanwhile, Bolton gets a crack at a spry Sunderland squad. It's a game the Trotters probably have to win, or at least draw. Three points Saturday essentially saves both teams, especially if Birmingham and Fulham draw.
It's shaping up for a pretty amazing finish on May 11, as both the top and the bottom might do down to goal difference.
For whatever reason, I'll leave you with a YouTube archive gem from 1997 and Dennis Bergkamp. For best effect watch until the final second with the volume at a reasonable level.
Nothing probably exemplifies the dramatic turn of events on the English football season and the fans reaction that the John Williams composed tune. Simply put, nobody with a pulse can be too happy about Chelsea coming up roses in a pair of massive games in the span of five days. (Paging Grand Moff Tarkin.)
It's pretty clear that they've morphed into the late 1990s, early 2000s Yankees -- hopefully with less trophies. (Carl Pavano = Andriy Shevchenko)
Don't agree? Consider the own-goal off the Norweigan noggin of John Arne Riise as that little twerp leaning over the rightfield fence to turn Derek Jeter's would-be flyout against the Orioles in the 1996 ALCS. It's bad enough when a team can outspend everyone else, but when the cosmic breaks turn in their direction, fucking hell.
I'm as exasperated as poor Baltimore rightfielder Tony Tarasco looking up for a catch only to see a punk kid had leaned over the rail and snared it himself. For the love of all things holy, this possible Chelsea nightmare can't happen. We need a Luis Gonzalez to bloop one off Mariano Rivera, stat.
The cosmic karma shift carried into Chelsea's dramatic 2-1 win over Manchester United early Saturday morning, which was the classic "fart in the mouth." It stunk. It stunk a lot, even as a neutral who in theory should be excited for a title race going down to perhaps the last kick of the ball in a couple weeks. It stunk because it was won via a referee's whistle, which in many cases could (or should) have gone silent.
There are so many things to talk about here. The tween dramedy level hilarity between Didier Drogba and Michael Ballack fighting to take free kicks (ah, family spirit). The Vidic kneeing by Drogba. The brilliance of Rooney. Sir Alex screwing the pooch. Ballack. Bollocks. A Sheva sighting.
Oh right, the penalty decision against Michael Carrick.
Right now, I can't really say how I feel. Setanta Sports never showed a clear replay one way or the other. I suppose Carrick's hand must have nicked the ball, yet to call a penalty in that spot -- on the fringe of the area from a cross -- seems to be reading a little to close to the letter of the law, than the spirit of the law.
Granted, millions probably rejoiced that United were hard done by a penalty decision for a change. Still, it was rather dubious, to say the least.
Of course, United really don't have much a leg to stand on.
If you have a chance to win the league with a victory -- you do it, Tuesday's return leg with Barcelona be damned. Airing on the side of caution and resting Ronaldo and Tevez wasn't exactly a genius decision. If Vidic doesn't get his bell rung by Drogba's meaty thigh, perhaps Tevez come on later. Who knows. It's not like Ronaldo set the world afire in his second-half cameo. And at the point it was 1-1, a sounder strategy might have been to throw out some defensive subs, or at least shelled up some, right? Then again, the winning goal wasn't because of too many guys going forward.
The fact is, United really ought to kick themselves for not going ahead 2-1. There was a flurry of about 10 minutes following the Rooney equalizer where the boys in Red had a major chance to go ahead, but missed out. Games of this magnitude feature plenty of momentum turns, and to win you have to capitalize.
Overall, hate to say it, but Chelsea was probably a little better Saturday -- though a 1-1 draw would have been the fairer result. As unlikeable as he might be, you have to credit Ballack for his swift, BMW-like freeing run to set up his header in the closing seconds of the first half. The dead-eyed East German is probably as big a reason for Chelsea's surge back to the top than anyone. (Ugh, I feel dirty for writing that.)
In theory, due to Tevez's late-leveler against Blackburn last weekend, United had the luxury of losing this game. That means they need to win at home this weekend against West Ham and then go to Wigan and get three points.
It's safe to say, West Ham owes something from last year when United didn't try too hard after Tevez put the Irons up 1-0 and thus kept them afloat in the Prem. Above that, they don't seem the team to be able to withstand 90 minutes of out-and-out pressure -- especially at Old Trafford. The bigger trouble might be at Wigan, since the Latics have quietly become pretty crafty on defense under Steve Bruce. Since February Wigan has only let in nine goals in 10 league games, which isn't too shabby.
On the other hand, Chelsea might be in for a hiccup. Don't you think Newcastle's crazy season is due for another turn this weekend at St. Andrews. (Yeah, that's probably just wishful thinking.) Considering Bolton's recent fiestiness, the season closer for Chelsea might not be a romp, as expected. (Again, wishful thinking.)
Overall, let's hope the season ends more like the 'Return of the Jedi' as opposed to 'The Empire Strikes Back,' though asking Michael Owen, Matty Taylor & Co. to blowing up the Death Star might be a little much.
...
On the other end of the table simply -- wow. Wow as in, how in the span of about 20 minutes did Birmingham City blow a 2-0 lead at home to Liverpool and how in the name of flaming zombie Jesus did Fulham come back from 2-0 to win 3-2 at Manchester City. Expect an Armageddon of a game next weekend at Craven Cottage.
Not to burst your bubble Fulham fanatics, but they still are three points adrift. Yet, their Team America Jr., Reading, is basically in a mode right now where they hope their two pursuers stink a little worse than they do, because right now there isn't a deader team than the Royals.
Looking ahead, Reading hosts Tottenham in a game where they simply have to find the back of the net. Reading hasn't scored since March 22. Egads. Meanwhile, Bolton gets a crack at a spry Sunderland squad. It's a game the Trotters probably have to win, or at least draw. Three points Saturday essentially saves both teams, especially if Birmingham and Fulham draw.
It's shaping up for a pretty amazing finish on May 11, as both the top and the bottom might do down to goal difference.
For whatever reason, I'll leave you with a YouTube archive gem from 1997 and Dennis Bergkamp. For best effect watch until the final second with the volume at a reasonable level.
Labels: Chelsea, manchester United, Premier League, Soccer
If Wigan are safe from relegation then they won't put up much of a fight. Steve Bruce is a former United captain so he's not about to let his team keep United from winning the title in a game that means nothing for his side.
1. Chelsea deserved all 3 points. They played positive football all game long, probably for the first time since 2005 (CL vs. Barca). ManUtd were just trying to batten down the hatches. The only goal Utd scored was completely undeserved, off a mistake by the steadiest defender in the league.
2. Sir Alex Red Nose rested Ronaldo and Tevez so he would have a ready-made excuse for the loss after the match.
3. The Carrick handball was the first penalty awarded against Utd all season. Think about that.
4. If by comparing Utd winning the title to Return of the Jedi you are likening Rooney to a Gamorrean Guard (nerd alert) and Ronaldo to an Ewok, I say, spot on.
The best part about the Vidic/Drogbrahh knee-to-the-face? On the slo-mo replay, you can see that Drogba's about to do his I-just-got-shot routine, only to realize he really nailed that dude in the face pretty hard. Then he stops mid-dying and shows a bit of concern. It's pretty funny to watch -- he confirms that his instincts are to dive no matter what, even after he knees someone in the chops. I hate Drogba more than anyone in the Prem. What a giant puss.
More importantly, though...your timeline is WAY off on the Chelsea-as-Yankees narrative. The 1996 WS Champion Yankees were a scrappy team that made their own luck and got helped out once (thank you, Rich Garcia and Jeffrey Maier). That team had no true free-agent stars -- they were a gritty squad. Same goes for 98, 99 and even 2000. These teams had huge hits by Chad Curtis and Scott Brosius, pitching performances by Graeme Lloyd and Mike Stanton. These weren't cash-infused All-Star teams. The Yankees that you describe resembling Chelsea never even won any titles.
yeah...you're prolly right about the yankee thing. (it was written in frustration.)
maybe the 2004-2005 Chelsea were the 1990s Yankees, and the 2006 onward are 2000-2007 Yankees.
Eidur = scrappy.
I don't know if you are a United fan or not. But a United fan whinging about Chelsea's spending habits falls on fairly deaf ears for the rest of the world. Boohoo! I'm only the second richest boy on the block! Anything the richest boy wins must have been bought! I, on the other hand, worked hard and deserved everything that I win.
Besides, a more apt analogy to the late 90s Yankees would have been the late 90s United squad. Top tier free agents (though not superstars) like Yorke, Cole, and Stam coupled with great homegrown talent (too many to list) and improbable luck (let's face it, the United squad of the late 90s and early 00's were damn luckier than Chelsea) leads to domination of their league.
And I don't like Chelsea all that much anyways.
"The 1996 WS Champion Yankees were a scrappy team that made their own luck and got helped out once (thank you, Rich Garcia and Jeffrey Maier). That team had no true free-agent stars -- they were a gritty squad. Same goes for 98, 99 and even 2000. These teams had huge hits by Chad Curtis and Scott Brosius, pitching performances by Graeme Lloyd and Mike Stanton. These weren't cash-infused All-Star teams."
Guh.
1996 Yankees = Wade Boggs (signed for $4.7M), Ruben Sierra ($6.2M), Darryl Strawberry, Tim Raines ($2.1M), Cecil Fielder (traded for Sierra, earned $9.3M), Jimmy Key $4.9M), Kenny Rogers ($5M), Dwight Gooden, David Cone ($4.6M), and John Wetteland ($4M). Just a bunch of young, rough-and-tumble, gritty, gutty, golly-gee-shucks scrappers, just waiting to show the world who they are!
The 1996 Yankees payroll was $61M, most on the majors. Scraptastic!
IN 1998, the Orioles overtook the Yankees, payroll of $74M to the Yanks' paltry $73M, but by 2000, the world had been set on its correct orbit again, the Yankees payroll up to $113M, with 2nd place Bravos payroll at $95M.
By 98, they added Knoblauch ($6M), Chili Davis ($4.3M), Brosisu ($2.6M), Orlando Hernandez (under a $1M, but still...), Hideki Irabu ($2.5M), David Wells ($4.6M)...
In 2000, there was some guy named Clemens?? ($8.2M)
ugh -- Yankees fans.
C'mon. The game wasn't decided by the referee's whistle. Carrick handled the ball inside the penalty area, plain and simple. Carrick decided the game. And since when does near the edge of the area mean it shouldn't be a penalty? Does that mean that near the edge of the penalty area (but outside) SHOULD be a penalty?
I'm not an ManU or Chelsea fan but don't go whining about the refs. It was an exciting game to watch (after the first 50 minutes).
Bruce
Chelsea is an un-appealing team, no doubt. Roman, Avram, Ashley Cole and the dopey fans chanting down their manager - only to switch their opinion the moment things go their way. They have a hooligan grounds crew and the dimmest man in sports not a third baseman named Chipper (Joey Cole). Much about Chelsea is annoying ...
But, Senor 'dillo, what is your problem with Ballack? In my eyes he is about the best thing about that team. Ballack seems to care and try every game and is also pretty darn good.
Drogba has plenty-o-skill but HE is the Chelsea player that bugs me the most. And that was before the iPod on the bench episode. Cap'n JT is a close second - both pompous douches, each with a sense of entitlement that might be visible from space.
I wouldn't cry if Stamford Bridge collapsed and took all the Chelsea and Liverpudlian players with it - except for Ballack and a certain impossibly tall, model-banging striker with red hair.
Ballack is a mercenary who will go for the highest bidder. Like all Chelsea players he doesn't give a crap about the game or who he plays for...just the casssshhhh.
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=530157&cc=5901
couple things...
1. I HATE Ballack. He just seems like such a dick.
2. SAF was PISSED in his post game interview. He trashed the officials. Didn't mention how he sat the best player in the world on the pine for half the game.
3. I've really kind of had enough with Reading. Why did Convey play 90 last week, and not dress this week? They are really treading water...it's awful to watch and for some reason I see a crippling loss to Derby in the final week.
Shane,
How many football players aren't mercs? Yeah you can cite examples like Scholes or Giggs or Maldini or Gerrard or Raul who have been with the same team their entire careers, but they were just lucky that they started with teams that were already the richest in the world. If Ballack is a merc, what does that make Rooney? Or Carrick, or Hargreaves, or Vidic, or Torress, or Rio...
The list goes on and on and on. Let's face it, football is a game played by mercenaries.
"Chelsea is an un-appealing team, no doubt. Roman, Avram, Ashley Cole and the dopey fans chanting down their manager - only to switch their opinion the moment things go their way."
Actually, that's the English way. Fickle lot, they are.
I dunno - I'll disclose that I am indeed a Chelsea fan, but you have to admit many of things you've all complained about are pretty common in the EPL period. I'm not denying some of these things might be true, but point fingers at everyone else, too. The rest of the big four are surely just as guilty. (And have more money! --> http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/m/man_utd/7377058.stm)