"Pose, patience, penetration" -- Martin Tyler on Samir Nasri's second goal in Arsenal's 2-1 victory at the Emirates over Manchester United.
Okay, let's get the joke out of the way right away -- that's what she said.
Feel better? Me too.
Actually, that's a lie. For what seems the umpteenth weekend I'm sitting here Sunday night trying to find some semblance of order in the Premier League. Not to beat a good metaphor into the ground, but it must be how the talking heads on CNBC feel these days.
To put it bluntly, a Premier League blue chipper -- like General Motors -- might go down this year. For clarification's sake, it's not going to be the ultra blue chip/blue blood of the 'Big Four'. Until this weekend, I'd have thought Aston Villa would be bullet proof as well, but what if Villa gets worn out by the UEFA Cup and its paper-thin squad loses a player or two to injury?
Newcastle United? Tottenham? Add Manchester City to the list. Nobody is safe. With no absolute scrub, 3-point punching bag like Derby County or pre-Keane Sunderland, it leaves about 15 teams fighting to avoid three spots, instead of the usual two.
Here's a look at how the relegation battle played out since the 2000-2001 season:
00-01 -- 26 points, 20th; 34 points 18th; 42 points 17th; 0 teams within four points of the drop
01-02 -- 28, 36, 40, 2
02-03 -- 19, 42, 44, 2
03-04 -- 33, 33, 39, 0
04-05 -- 32, 33, 34, 1
05-06 -- 15, 34, 38, 1
06-07 -- 28, 38, 38, 4
07-08 -- 11, 36, 36, 4
As you can see the biggest conclusion is that that last two seasons more-and-more teams have been dragged toward the bottom. This season we could see the point totals go up, but even more teams within hailing distance of booking tickets to Plymouth and Norwich.
You could draw comparisons to the NFL at the turn of the century, as many pundits said it was watered down with too much parity. Of course, a team could be shitty and nondescript in the NFL and still cash-in on the billion dollar television deal. Over in England and elsewhere, clubs don't have that luxury. Frankly, as said many times before you could swap a lot of these teams shirts and it would be hard to tell the difference.
Right now this brand of PL socialism has its clear elites...and then everybody else in the working class. Let's hope this breeds entertaining games, rather than dull, turgid affairs with either side afraid to cross the Maginot Line for fear of what lines on the other side.
Need any further proof how crazy this year is? If Fulham didn't beat Newcastle it'd be on 11 points -- tied for last. Now, with three points in the bank, the Cottagers are in 10th.
With a little over a third of the season gone by there's only about one definite -- Chelsea is going to be there at the end. Whether Liverpool, Manchester United or Arsenal can keep pace remains to be seen.
Let's just say this. Right now some betting sites are offering 50-to-1 on Everton going down and 66-to-1 on Manchester City. Nobody likes to laugh at others misfortunes, but you might as well profit off them, assuming betting were legal in America.
* Overeacting, undereacting -- Arsenal is officially, in all facets, bi-polar. Crush Sheffield United in the Carling Cup with reserves -- the Gunners are rewriting the football book. Lose to Stoke City and Arsene Wenger has lost his touch. For once I'm going to let a cooler head prevail.
The 2-1 win over Manchester United was quality and much-needed. There is no way to pour cold water on Samir Nasri's sterling showing.
Let's say this instead. Manchester United missed at least two or three great chances in the first half, especially Rooney on a perfectly squared ball from Ronaldo. Had that gone in and Arsenal had to chase the game, did the Gunners have it in them?
There's also no doubting the quality of Wenger's players on the top of their game. For whatever it's worth they want to play "the right way." However, that way, might be better suited for the one-off, two-off scenario presented in the Champions League, not the grind of the Premier League. Again, we know Chelsea barring an oddity is going to show up and get results each week, we still don't know it about Arsenal, do we?
As for Manchester United it's midfield seems to be missing something. It's hard to feel bad for any team that can heist players away, Berbatov-style and can afford to have Carlos Tevez snugged away in his beanie cap on the bench. Still, United's midfield needs something. The Carrick-Anderson scenario wasn't cutting the mustard. Really what the Red Devils need is a younger Paul Scholes (ginger hair not included) to link the flow to the unparalleled front line. Time after time United seem to fall into the trap of letting Ronaldo make something happen, and while it's a sound strategy (see 2007-08 season).
Call it an overreaction, but United seem to be missing a little something from last season's historic double win.
* Odds & ends -- Louis Saha? Really? That is a pure chumpatizing of West Ham. ... Does Freddie Sears own a razor? ... Hull City might be on its 13th minute. ... Robbie Keane scored twice and it ended 3-0 against West Brom, but Liverpool could have won 6-0 or 7-0 the way it was going at Anfield. (Hey, they might need the goal difference.) ... Did anyone else see the women in the front row at the Emirates dressed like she was going to Bike Week in Sturgis, S.D.? ... Andy Johnson is officially the luckiest player in the league via his goal from an assist by Newcastle's Capaca's head. ... Could you even call it English on the ball that Nadir Belhadj scored on for Portsmouth? ... Yes, the 'Arry Redknapp statue is currently under construction outside White Hart Lane, but it's on hold until they can find a sculptor to find the right metallic ore to bring up the ruddiness of his eye bags. (Funny stuff here on Redknapp from that Russell Brand guy.) ... Tuncay might officially have become my new favorite player in the league. Too bad looking at his mullet-tude always reminds me of Quiet Riot singer Kevin DuBrow. (God do they even attempt to make videos that grool anymore?)
* Fantasy shout-out -- Overall a low scoring week with Rod McCulloch's MacBoar's RainDogs placing first with 55 points thanks to Darren Bent and surprising defender Gary Cahill of Bolton. Well played.
Okay, let's get the joke out of the way right away -- that's what she said.
Feel better? Me too.
Actually, that's a lie. For what seems the umpteenth weekend I'm sitting here Sunday night trying to find some semblance of order in the Premier League. Not to beat a good metaphor into the ground, but it must be how the talking heads on CNBC feel these days.
To put it bluntly, a Premier League blue chipper -- like General Motors -- might go down this year. For clarification's sake, it's not going to be the ultra blue chip/blue blood of the 'Big Four'. Until this weekend, I'd have thought Aston Villa would be bullet proof as well, but what if Villa gets worn out by the UEFA Cup and its paper-thin squad loses a player or two to injury?
Newcastle United? Tottenham? Add Manchester City to the list. Nobody is safe. With no absolute scrub, 3-point punching bag like Derby County or pre-Keane Sunderland, it leaves about 15 teams fighting to avoid three spots, instead of the usual two.
Here's a look at how the relegation battle played out since the 2000-2001 season:
00-01 -- 26 points, 20th; 34 points 18th; 42 points 17th; 0 teams within four points of the drop
01-02 -- 28, 36, 40, 2
02-03 -- 19, 42, 44, 2
03-04 -- 33, 33, 39, 0
04-05 -- 32, 33, 34, 1
05-06 -- 15, 34, 38, 1
06-07 -- 28, 38, 38, 4
07-08 -- 11, 36, 36, 4
As you can see the biggest conclusion is that that last two seasons more-and-more teams have been dragged toward the bottom. This season we could see the point totals go up, but even more teams within hailing distance of booking tickets to Plymouth and Norwich.
You could draw comparisons to the NFL at the turn of the century, as many pundits said it was watered down with too much parity. Of course, a team could be shitty and nondescript in the NFL and still cash-in on the billion dollar television deal. Over in England and elsewhere, clubs don't have that luxury. Frankly, as said many times before you could swap a lot of these teams shirts and it would be hard to tell the difference.
Right now this brand of PL socialism has its clear elites...and then everybody else in the working class. Let's hope this breeds entertaining games, rather than dull, turgid affairs with either side afraid to cross the Maginot Line for fear of what lines on the other side.
Need any further proof how crazy this year is? If Fulham didn't beat Newcastle it'd be on 11 points -- tied for last. Now, with three points in the bank, the Cottagers are in 10th.
With a little over a third of the season gone by there's only about one definite -- Chelsea is going to be there at the end. Whether Liverpool, Manchester United or Arsenal can keep pace remains to be seen.
Let's just say this. Right now some betting sites are offering 50-to-1 on Everton going down and 66-to-1 on Manchester City. Nobody likes to laugh at others misfortunes, but you might as well profit off them, assuming betting were legal in America.
* Overeacting, undereacting -- Arsenal is officially, in all facets, bi-polar. Crush Sheffield United in the Carling Cup with reserves -- the Gunners are rewriting the football book. Lose to Stoke City and Arsene Wenger has lost his touch. For once I'm going to let a cooler head prevail.
The 2-1 win over Manchester United was quality and much-needed. There is no way to pour cold water on Samir Nasri's sterling showing.
Let's say this instead. Manchester United missed at least two or three great chances in the first half, especially Rooney on a perfectly squared ball from Ronaldo. Had that gone in and Arsenal had to chase the game, did the Gunners have it in them?
There's also no doubting the quality of Wenger's players on the top of their game. For whatever it's worth they want to play "the right way." However, that way, might be better suited for the one-off, two-off scenario presented in the Champions League, not the grind of the Premier League. Again, we know Chelsea barring an oddity is going to show up and get results each week, we still don't know it about Arsenal, do we?
As for Manchester United it's midfield seems to be missing something. It's hard to feel bad for any team that can heist players away, Berbatov-style and can afford to have Carlos Tevez snugged away in his beanie cap on the bench. Still, United's midfield needs something. The Carrick-Anderson scenario wasn't cutting the mustard. Really what the Red Devils need is a younger Paul Scholes (ginger hair not included) to link the flow to the unparalleled front line. Time after time United seem to fall into the trap of letting Ronaldo make something happen, and while it's a sound strategy (see 2007-08 season).
Call it an overreaction, but United seem to be missing a little something from last season's historic double win.
* Odds & ends -- Louis Saha? Really? That is a pure chumpatizing of West Ham. ... Does Freddie Sears own a razor? ... Hull City might be on its 13th minute. ... Robbie Keane scored twice and it ended 3-0 against West Brom, but Liverpool could have won 6-0 or 7-0 the way it was going at Anfield. (Hey, they might need the goal difference.) ... Did anyone else see the women in the front row at the Emirates dressed like she was going to Bike Week in Sturgis, S.D.? ... Andy Johnson is officially the luckiest player in the league via his goal from an assist by Newcastle's Capaca's head. ... Could you even call it English on the ball that Nadir Belhadj scored on for Portsmouth? ... Yes, the 'Arry Redknapp statue is currently under construction outside White Hart Lane, but it's on hold until they can find a sculptor to find the right metallic ore to bring up the ruddiness of his eye bags. (Funny stuff here on Redknapp from that Russell Brand guy.) ... Tuncay might officially have become my new favorite player in the league. Too bad looking at his mullet-tude always reminds me of Quiet Riot singer Kevin DuBrow. (God do they even attempt to make videos that grool anymore?)
* Fantasy shout-out -- Overall a low scoring week with Rod McCulloch's MacBoar's RainDogs placing first with 55 points thanks to Darren Bent and surprising defender Gary Cahill of Bolton. Well played.
Labels: Monday recaps, Premier League, Soccer



'Cacapa' is Brazilian for 'Ameobi'.
United's problem is that in previous years they could consistently building throw the midfield in two ways.
First would be the concise probing passes of scholes, the second being the long aerial balls of Carrick.
Now, they constantly squander possession when the midfield have the ball. Personally, I would like to see Rooney and Tevez get a run out and play more of a 4-3-3 with Ronaldo as they did last year.