"I don't know where we're going tonight. Obviously Finchy's a sophisticated guy, and Gareth's a culture vulture, so you know will it be opera, ballet? I don't know. I know the RSC's in town, so er... having said that at Chasers, it's Hooch for a pound and Wonderbras-get-in-free night tonight. So I don't know, I don't know who'll win, it's exciting. I'm staying out of it." -- Tim Canterbury, 'The Office'
...And we're back.
To go across the pond and cite the American version of 'The Office', here is a Dwight Schrute postulation. Question, which is the best team in the Premier League right now? The table says Liverpool, but until the Holiday fixture double-header (combined 8-1 victories over Bolton, Newcastle) the Reds looked pretty indifferent. Would Fulham, which hasn't lost since Nov. 1 be considered the 'form' team in the league? How about Everton?
What do you make of Manchester United, which hadn't lost in 14 matches across -- count 'em -- five competitions, until a 1-0 defeat to Derby in the first leg of the Carling Cup semifinals on Wednesday. (Re-read that sentence for full effect.) With the trip of Japan out of the way, but still four competitions lingering on the calendar are United the team to beat, even if they've been a shell of last year's form?
We should learn a lot about Sir Alex Ferguson's team Sunday when it hosts Chelsea at Old Trafford likely without defensive stalwart Rio Ferdinand. The Red Devils -- with two games in hand -- are only seven off first place, yet against the 'Big' teams (Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal and Aston Villa) United's record stands at two losses, two draws. Hardly championship stuff.
Is United lurking like a darkhouse indie favorite at Oscar time (Ok, a bankrolled indie like something from Miramax), or simply an overwrought costume drama that is named for awards by rote?
And what do we make about Chelsea? The Blues are always, repeat always dangerous. Yet something seems a bit off from past incarnations. That said, Chelsea can go on multiple months without a defeat without really looking that good, which is always a nice thing. As long as the much-maligned Frank Lampard is in the middle of the park, Chelsea can't be counted out.
What's so puzzling about Chelsea is that despite giving up the fewest goals -- 9 -- in the league, its usual rock-tight defense looks a little less formidable. Will the returns of Ricardo Carvalho and Michael Essien change that? Also, will Chelsea's obvious Holy Grail quest for the Champions League title distract it at in the league?
Whatever happens, whichever teams walks away from Old Trafford on Sunday with three points in the bank makes a true statement of intent -- and might make Liverpool Universe quiver in its boots just a little bit.
Saturday
Instead of your normal picks, a New Year's resolution for each club. Lame, I know.
* Aston Villa v. West Brom -- (Live, Setanta, 7:45 a.m.) Villa -- To have the squad depth to sustain a fourth-place finish and for Ashley Young and Gabby Agbonlahor to keep it in their pants. ... West Brom -- To keep up it's open, attacking play in hopes of survival and maybe find a shirt sponsor. ... Aston Villa 3, West Brom 1
* Arsenal v. Bolton -- (Live, Setanta, 9:30 a.m.) Arsenal -- To shit or get off the pot with Arshavin and everything else. ... Bolton -- To realize quickly that Denilson has nothing left in the tank. ... Arsenal 1, Bolton 1
* Everton v. Hull City -- Everton -- To find a way to get David Moyes a striker...any striker. ... Hull City -- To keep on keepin' on. ... Everton 2, Hull City 0
* Fulham v. Blackburn -- Fulham -- To keep giving Clint Dempsey playing time and realize it's time to cut bait with Eddie Johnson. ... Blackburn -- To survive the drop, because Rovers aren't coming back if they fall. (Why would the club turn down the money for Santa Cruz? McCarthy, Roberts and Derbyshire are fairly competent strikers.) ... Fulham 1, Blackburn 1
* Middlesbrough v. Sunderland -- Middlesbrough -- To figure out what it is or stop taking up Premier League space. ... Sunderland -- To keep on dancing. ... Middlesbrough 1, Sunderland 1
* Newcastle United v. West Ham -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Newcastle -- To keep the microphones in front of Joe Kinnear and Mike Ashley and maybe find a way to keep Shay Given around. ... West Ham -- To stay alive. ... Newcastle 1, West Ham 0
* Portsmouth v. Manchester City -- Portsmouth -- See West Ham. ... Manchester City -- To find a way to finish in the Top 10 before splashing around all that cash. ... Portsmouth 0, City 2
* Stoke City v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Stoke City -- To figure out a way to survive relegation with the most non-descript team possible. ... Liverpool -- To find a way to keep Fro Torres healthy on Spain duty and keep Steve Gerrard out of nightclubs and maybe for Rafa to switch to decaf. ... Stoke 1, Liverpool 2
Sunday
* Wigan Athletic v. Tottenham -- (Live, Setanta, 8:30 a.m.) Wigan -- To get some damn respect, and a nice fee for Zaki in June. ... Spurs -- To keep on doing what you're doing. The league needs your wily, nily mood swings. ... Wigan 1, Spurs 1
* Manchester United v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Manchester United -- To get somebody to drive for Cristiano Ronaldo. ... Chelsea -- To keep letting John Terry take penalties in Europe. ... Manchester United 1, Chelsea 0
Last round: 6-4
Season: 85-110
...And we're back.
To go across the pond and cite the American version of 'The Office', here is a Dwight Schrute postulation. Question, which is the best team in the Premier League right now? The table says Liverpool, but until the Holiday fixture double-header (combined 8-1 victories over Bolton, Newcastle) the Reds looked pretty indifferent. Would Fulham, which hasn't lost since Nov. 1 be considered the 'form' team in the league? How about Everton?
What do you make of Manchester United, which hadn't lost in 14 matches across -- count 'em -- five competitions, until a 1-0 defeat to Derby in the first leg of the Carling Cup semifinals on Wednesday. (Re-read that sentence for full effect.) With the trip of Japan out of the way, but still four competitions lingering on the calendar are United the team to beat, even if they've been a shell of last year's form?
We should learn a lot about Sir Alex Ferguson's team Sunday when it hosts Chelsea at Old Trafford likely without defensive stalwart Rio Ferdinand. The Red Devils -- with two games in hand -- are only seven off first place, yet against the 'Big' teams (Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal and Aston Villa) United's record stands at two losses, two draws. Hardly championship stuff.
Is United lurking like a darkhouse indie favorite at Oscar time (Ok, a bankrolled indie like something from Miramax), or simply an overwrought costume drama that is named for awards by rote?
And what do we make about Chelsea? The Blues are always, repeat always dangerous. Yet something seems a bit off from past incarnations. That said, Chelsea can go on multiple months without a defeat without really looking that good, which is always a nice thing. As long as the much-maligned Frank Lampard is in the middle of the park, Chelsea can't be counted out.
What's so puzzling about Chelsea is that despite giving up the fewest goals -- 9 -- in the league, its usual rock-tight defense looks a little less formidable. Will the returns of Ricardo Carvalho and Michael Essien change that? Also, will Chelsea's obvious Holy Grail quest for the Champions League title distract it at in the league?
Whatever happens, whichever teams walks away from Old Trafford on Sunday with three points in the bank makes a true statement of intent -- and might make Liverpool Universe quiver in its boots just a little bit.
Saturday
Instead of your normal picks, a New Year's resolution for each club. Lame, I know.
* Aston Villa v. West Brom -- (Live, Setanta, 7:45 a.m.) Villa -- To have the squad depth to sustain a fourth-place finish and for Ashley Young and Gabby Agbonlahor to keep it in their pants. ... West Brom -- To keep up it's open, attacking play in hopes of survival and maybe find a shirt sponsor. ... Aston Villa 3, West Brom 1
* Arsenal v. Bolton -- (Live, Setanta, 9:30 a.m.) Arsenal -- To shit or get off the pot with Arshavin and everything else. ... Bolton -- To realize quickly that Denilson has nothing left in the tank. ... Arsenal 1, Bolton 1
* Everton v. Hull City -- Everton -- To find a way to get David Moyes a striker...any striker. ... Hull City -- To keep on keepin' on. ... Everton 2, Hull City 0
* Fulham v. Blackburn -- Fulham -- To keep giving Clint Dempsey playing time and realize it's time to cut bait with Eddie Johnson. ... Blackburn -- To survive the drop, because Rovers aren't coming back if they fall. (Why would the club turn down the money for Santa Cruz? McCarthy, Roberts and Derbyshire are fairly competent strikers.) ... Fulham 1, Blackburn 1
* Middlesbrough v. Sunderland -- Middlesbrough -- To figure out what it is or stop taking up Premier League space. ... Sunderland -- To keep on dancing. ... Middlesbrough 1, Sunderland 1
* Newcastle United v. West Ham -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Newcastle -- To keep the microphones in front of Joe Kinnear and Mike Ashley and maybe find a way to keep Shay Given around. ... West Ham -- To stay alive. ... Newcastle 1, West Ham 0
* Portsmouth v. Manchester City -- Portsmouth -- See West Ham. ... Manchester City -- To find a way to finish in the Top 10 before splashing around all that cash. ... Portsmouth 0, City 2
* Stoke City v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Stoke City -- To figure out a way to survive relegation with the most non-descript team possible. ... Liverpool -- To find a way to keep Fro Torres healthy on Spain duty and keep Steve Gerrard out of nightclubs and maybe for Rafa to switch to decaf. ... Stoke 1, Liverpool 2
Sunday
* Wigan Athletic v. Tottenham -- (Live, Setanta, 8:30 a.m.) Wigan -- To get some damn respect, and a nice fee for Zaki in June. ... Spurs -- To keep on doing what you're doing. The league needs your wily, nily mood swings. ... Wigan 1, Spurs 1
* Manchester United v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Manchester United -- To get somebody to drive for Cristiano Ronaldo. ... Chelsea -- To keep letting John Terry take penalties in Europe. ... Manchester United 1, Chelsea 0
Last round: 6-4
Season: 85-110
Labels: Chelsea, manchester United, Prem League, Premier League, Soccer
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Greets Peter
Official Tottenham song for 2009..."Life by the Drop" by SRV.
Suppe
Newcastle should give back today's point on Andy Carroll's haircut alone.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/eng_prem/7808353.stm
Cripes.