"Like a freight train baby, choo choo." -- Dennis Hopper to Sterling Sharpe in a bizare mid 90s Nike ad.
Okay, bear with me. It wasn't exactly like I could quote the inspirational "Footprints" as a start to a Monday morning Premier League recap-o-rama. Perhaps, though, Rafa Benitez could use it, stare at it, and calm down a bit. That Friday rant/meltdown toward Sir Alex Ferguson is already backfiring less than 48 hours after it happened, with the Red Devils boss already calling his Liverpool counterpart "troubled and angry." (Shave his head and Benitez is closing on George Costanza territory.)
Now, with a nice and tidy 3-0 smashing of Chelsea Sunday afternoon, Ferguson can kick back with a nice bottle of wine, smile and channel his inner Hannibal Smith -- as in -- "I love it when a plan comes together."
You, like me, are probably worn out by the phrase "games in hand." Is a game in hand worth two in the bush? Sorry. Couldn't help myself with that one. As a result of the frigid weekend throughout England and the rest of Europe, United five points back of first place Liverpool ... with two games in hand. All the weekend commentators assumed United has six points in the bank. It's hard to blame them with the matches coming against perennial United whipping boys Wigan and Fulham.
For me, you could boil down the Sunday's 3-0 result pretty succinctly. Following the second and third United goals the cameras caught slo-mo celebrations of keeper Edwin Van Der Sar followed by Gary Neville. These are two veterans who've each won Champions League medals, yet their faces showed nothing but joy over winning a league game against a hated rival.
This bears merit since in the halcyon days of the Mourinho administration, Chelsea players would have been caught in similar states of ecstasy. (Bad image?) Ironically enough, Mourinho was at Old Trafford on what could turn out to be the night the Chelsea dynasty ended.
The visage of the scarfed-one got me thinking about some of the Portugeezer's later signings. After hitting home runs upon his debut in West London with guys like Ricardo Carvalho, Arjen Robben, (especially) Didier Drogba etc. the later days of Mourinho's stint brought in some suspect players they might have added to Chelsea's malaise, perhaps hoping to ride the core team's coat tails.
To some extent guys like Michael Ballack -- who's lived up to billing -- and namely Andriy Shevchenko and even Ashley Cole were foisted on Mourinho by the club's upper management. Yet players such as Flourent Malouda, Soloman Kalou, Julio Belletti and John Obi Mikel have failed to bring as much to the table as older and less heralded guys like Eidur Gudjohnsen, Damien Duff or even William Gallas brought to the team.
Judging by body language and his quotes, Phil Scolari doesn't seem like the guy with energy to right the Chelsea ship. He seems unsure if he wants to 4-4-2 or 4-3-3. (Deco wide left, huh?) That's a minor quibble to man-marking. For the second league game Chelsea were undone by headers at the far post. Two weeks ago it was Clint Dempsey for Fulham. Sunday it was Nemanja Vidic.
Suffice to say, something is certainly rotten in the state of Chelsea? What it exactly is probably won't be revealed until after the season.
The funny thing is, Chelsea will finish up third or fourth and we'll all label it a massive failure. Such is life in the Premier League.
No matter the result, this was a fun match to watch. The dulcet tones of Jon Champion were a perfect tonic after a 3+ hours of the Dan Dierdorfs of the world. I was beginning to forget how much I relish the minimalist English announcing.
Meanwhile, the brick you hear crashing outside your window is that being crapped out by Liverpool fans around the world. Liverpool might have been able to withstand a run for the Premier League title with Chelsea since, at least pyscologically, they've coped with the Blues in the Champions League. Manchester United? Liverpool fans better cross their fingers the Reds don't wilt like the pre-2004 Red Sox in the face of the Yankees.
Saturday Liverpool again drew Stoke City, this time 0-0 at the Britianna Stadium. Benitez decided to rest his phalanx of strikers, keeping Torres, Keane, et al on the bench, preferring a defensive minded team against the palookas from Stoke.
It wasn't for Steven Gerrard, who twice hit the post in the final seconds -- once on a free kick. Gerrad is only one man. Can a club count on winning the league thanks to weekly heroics from its talismanic captain? We're about to find out.
While this next line might sound crazy -- I'm not writing off Liverpool. This has been a wacky season and I've learned my lesson about jumping to conclusions too early. This season simply doesn't make sense. It's like me, I'm a comedy aficionado, but can't get into 'Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!' and I hate reality television, but (don't hold it against me) watch 'Top Chef'.
That said, Liverpool has to get its ass in gear, because Sunday's showcase might be just what Manchester United needed to get its season kicked into gear.
Personally I hope Aston Villa hasn't jumped to any either. Who's to say that Villa -- just five points off the pace itelf -- can't rally and win the league? It's not written in stone that the league winners has to come from the 'Big Four'?
Villa is owned by American Randy Lerner. It would behoove him to crib some lines from Miami Dolphins first-year coach Tony Sparano, "Why not us?"
I guess, too, that means I must include fifth place Arsenal which channeled it's pre-Arsene Wenger form and posted a classic "1-0 to the Arsenal" game. Here's a quick recap of Arsenal v. Bolton -- Arsenal passes it around, a player tries a cross, a Bolton player heads it away. Arsenal tries a long shot that goes wide. Repeat.
Niclas Bendtner saved Arsenal with a late goal, which was nearly undone immediately at the other end by Kevin Davies.
Afterward we have Wenger boo-hooing about defensive teams. On top of that Zenit St. Petersburg turned down the Arshavin bid.
Thankfully I'm not a Gooner, because I'd be worn out by this by now.
Miscellany -- Oof, Scott Carson. Doubt he'll be turning out for England any time soon after his howler against Aston Villa. ... I'm about one more week away from biting the bullet and buying a Mikel Arteta Everton shirt. ... Frozen pitches? I guess. ... Gavin McCann, what's up with that hair, brah? Odd to say the least. ... Newcastle 2, West Ham 2, seems about fair. ... The more things changes, the more they stay the same at Tottenham. ... How about Wigan! UEFA Cup or bust! Bring on Metalist Kharkiv!
Fantasy Team of the Week -- Previous weekly winner Drew Konig's Beckhams Priapism earns the honors for 74 -- 30 from Vidic. That's what we call strategy, since he was the 'captain'.
Shameless plug -- I had some musings about Landon Donovan's Bayern debut at FanHouse. There's no point to repeat them, so click here if you're interested.
[Minor Update -- Wednesday Prem Pick, Manchester United 2, Wigan 0]
Okay, bear with me. It wasn't exactly like I could quote the inspirational "Footprints" as a start to a Monday morning Premier League recap-o-rama. Perhaps, though, Rafa Benitez could use it, stare at it, and calm down a bit. That Friday rant/meltdown toward Sir Alex Ferguson is already backfiring less than 48 hours after it happened, with the Red Devils boss already calling his Liverpool counterpart "troubled and angry." (Shave his head and Benitez is closing on George Costanza territory.)
Now, with a nice and tidy 3-0 smashing of Chelsea Sunday afternoon, Ferguson can kick back with a nice bottle of wine, smile and channel his inner Hannibal Smith -- as in -- "I love it when a plan comes together."
You, like me, are probably worn out by the phrase "games in hand." Is a game in hand worth two in the bush? Sorry. Couldn't help myself with that one. As a result of the frigid weekend throughout England and the rest of Europe, United five points back of first place Liverpool ... with two games in hand. All the weekend commentators assumed United has six points in the bank. It's hard to blame them with the matches coming against perennial United whipping boys Wigan and Fulham.
For me, you could boil down the Sunday's 3-0 result pretty succinctly. Following the second and third United goals the cameras caught slo-mo celebrations of keeper Edwin Van Der Sar followed by Gary Neville. These are two veterans who've each won Champions League medals, yet their faces showed nothing but joy over winning a league game against a hated rival.
This bears merit since in the halcyon days of the Mourinho administration, Chelsea players would have been caught in similar states of ecstasy. (Bad image?) Ironically enough, Mourinho was at Old Trafford on what could turn out to be the night the Chelsea dynasty ended.
The visage of the scarfed-one got me thinking about some of the Portugeezer's later signings. After hitting home runs upon his debut in West London with guys like Ricardo Carvalho, Arjen Robben, (especially) Didier Drogba etc. the later days of Mourinho's stint brought in some suspect players they might have added to Chelsea's malaise, perhaps hoping to ride the core team's coat tails.
To some extent guys like Michael Ballack -- who's lived up to billing -- and namely Andriy Shevchenko and even Ashley Cole were foisted on Mourinho by the club's upper management. Yet players such as Flourent Malouda, Soloman Kalou, Julio Belletti and John Obi Mikel have failed to bring as much to the table as older and less heralded guys like Eidur Gudjohnsen, Damien Duff or even William Gallas brought to the team.
Judging by body language and his quotes, Phil Scolari doesn't seem like the guy with energy to right the Chelsea ship. He seems unsure if he wants to 4-4-2 or 4-3-3. (Deco wide left, huh?) That's a minor quibble to man-marking. For the second league game Chelsea were undone by headers at the far post. Two weeks ago it was Clint Dempsey for Fulham. Sunday it was Nemanja Vidic.
Suffice to say, something is certainly rotten in the state of Chelsea? What it exactly is probably won't be revealed until after the season.
The funny thing is, Chelsea will finish up third or fourth and we'll all label it a massive failure. Such is life in the Premier League.
No matter the result, this was a fun match to watch. The dulcet tones of Jon Champion were a perfect tonic after a 3+ hours of the Dan Dierdorfs of the world. I was beginning to forget how much I relish the minimalist English announcing.
Meanwhile, the brick you hear crashing outside your window is that being crapped out by Liverpool fans around the world. Liverpool might have been able to withstand a run for the Premier League title with Chelsea since, at least pyscologically, they've coped with the Blues in the Champions League. Manchester United? Liverpool fans better cross their fingers the Reds don't wilt like the pre-2004 Red Sox in the face of the Yankees.
Saturday Liverpool again drew Stoke City, this time 0-0 at the Britianna Stadium. Benitez decided to rest his phalanx of strikers, keeping Torres, Keane, et al on the bench, preferring a defensive minded team against the palookas from Stoke.
It wasn't for Steven Gerrard, who twice hit the post in the final seconds -- once on a free kick. Gerrad is only one man. Can a club count on winning the league thanks to weekly heroics from its talismanic captain? We're about to find out.
While this next line might sound crazy -- I'm not writing off Liverpool. This has been a wacky season and I've learned my lesson about jumping to conclusions too early. This season simply doesn't make sense. It's like me, I'm a comedy aficionado, but can't get into 'Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!' and I hate reality television, but (don't hold it against me) watch 'Top Chef'.
That said, Liverpool has to get its ass in gear, because Sunday's showcase might be just what Manchester United needed to get its season kicked into gear.
Personally I hope Aston Villa hasn't jumped to any either. Who's to say that Villa -- just five points off the pace itelf -- can't rally and win the league? It's not written in stone that the league winners has to come from the 'Big Four'?
Villa is owned by American Randy Lerner. It would behoove him to crib some lines from Miami Dolphins first-year coach Tony Sparano, "Why not us?"
I guess, too, that means I must include fifth place Arsenal which channeled it's pre-Arsene Wenger form and posted a classic "1-0 to the Arsenal" game. Here's a quick recap of Arsenal v. Bolton -- Arsenal passes it around, a player tries a cross, a Bolton player heads it away. Arsenal tries a long shot that goes wide. Repeat.
Niclas Bendtner saved Arsenal with a late goal, which was nearly undone immediately at the other end by Kevin Davies.
Afterward we have Wenger boo-hooing about defensive teams. On top of that Zenit St. Petersburg turned down the Arshavin bid.
Thankfully I'm not a Gooner, because I'd be worn out by this by now.
Miscellany -- Oof, Scott Carson. Doubt he'll be turning out for England any time soon after his howler against Aston Villa. ... I'm about one more week away from biting the bullet and buying a Mikel Arteta Everton shirt. ... Frozen pitches? I guess. ... Gavin McCann, what's up with that hair, brah? Odd to say the least. ... Newcastle 2, West Ham 2, seems about fair. ... The more things changes, the more they stay the same at Tottenham. ... How about Wigan! UEFA Cup or bust! Bring on Metalist Kharkiv!
Fantasy Team of the Week -- Previous weekly winner Drew Konig's Beckhams Priapism earns the honors for 74 -- 30 from Vidic. That's what we call strategy, since he was the 'captain'.
Shameless plug -- I had some musings about Landon Donovan's Bayern debut at FanHouse. There's no point to repeat them, so click here if you're interested.
[Minor Update -- Wednesday Prem Pick, Manchester United 2, Wigan 0]
Labels: English Premier League, Soccer
I'm puzzled by the frozen pitch thing. Does that mean "covered in snow and ice" or just that the ground is frozen? Because if it's the latter, man up and play and quit ruining my fantasy team.
Also puzzled by Rafa thinking he needs 2 holding midfielders to cope with offensive juggernaut that is Stoke, and with Scolari being unable to figure out how to play Droogs and the Elk together. I realize most of my management nous come from playing Fifa and all, but that's why they pay these guys the big bucks.