About that Barcelona/Manchester United final
5 Comments Published by Cardillo on May 27, 2009 at 8:15 PM.
"Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue." -- Airplane!
So...Barcelona pretty much chumpatized Manchester United Wednesday in Rome, eh?
Sure the scored ended only 2-0, officially, but it probably was close to 2 to -10 than anything else. It was a testament to how well Barcelona played that they made Manchester United look like the Red Devils would have were they playing a non-league side in the FA Cup.
That, right there, is greatness.
You could say, as the starting quote implies, that United played poorly, but it was more a matter that Barcelona were that good.
Barcelona's passing, the tic-toc, tic-toc, seemed to hypnotize United with each successive completion. It was like each completed pass sucked the life out of Sir Alex Ferguson's men with each passing second. Frankly, it's a mild shock that the final possession stats were only 51 percent to 49 percent in favor of Barcelona.
The way the game unfurled was almost surreal. It set up on a platter for Manchester United, with Ronaldo's dipping freekick mishandled by Victor Valdes. Yet nobody was there to cash in the rebound, as fate clearly shined on the side of Catalonia.
And how about Andres Iniesta first touch, rushing up the field and threading a perfect pass to Sammy Eto'o, who scored at what appeared to be an impossible angle. (Note, Nemanja Vidic's pants are still somewhere on the Stadio Olimpico turf.)
From there Barcelona kept the slow simmer, as United couldn't do anything.
Xavi's perfect lofted pass to Lionel Messi capped it. Messi, who was good in the match, not great, threw his whole body at the ball and headed it clean by Edwin van der Sar (maybe United's only positive player Wednesday) and sealed it. Messi is probably going win all the Player of the Year awards, but I'd like to start some sort of joint-campaign for Xavi and Iniesta.
For my money, the player of the match was Carlos Puyol for playing out of position at right back and taking Ronaldo completely out of the match. Again, perhaps fortune shined on Barca, since Puyol's more defensive mindset worked out instead of the more aggressive Dani Alves.
Really, I wish there was more to say about this match but it was pretty clear cut. Maybe there's a part of me that's disappointed that the actual match didn't live up to the lofty expectations in my mind. This is mostly because of Barca's utter dominance and United's surprising and disappointing capitulation. Really, the whole time it lasted at 1-0 there was still no drama.
You could single out Wayne Rooney's M.I.A. performance, but then you could for just about every United player. That said, the Red Devils weren't the only squad humbled by Barcelona this year, in what was truly a magical season for the Catalans. Maybe we should have seen this coming when Iniesta's magical goal at the death against Chelsea.
It was Barcelona's year.
Since I don't honestly have too much to offer uniquely on this match, I'll throw up some final Champions League critiques on ESPN.
As said before, I won't miss Derek Rae's overly stodgy and stuffy delivery. I mean, bro, this line -- "When in rome, do as the Catalans." Cringe-worthy. That goes for double for all the forced gladiator comments.
Fox, your move.
So...Barcelona pretty much chumpatized Manchester United Wednesday in Rome, eh?
Sure the scored ended only 2-0, officially, but it probably was close to 2 to -10 than anything else. It was a testament to how well Barcelona played that they made Manchester United look like the Red Devils would have were they playing a non-league side in the FA Cup.
That, right there, is greatness.
You could say, as the starting quote implies, that United played poorly, but it was more a matter that Barcelona were that good.
Barcelona's passing, the tic-toc, tic-toc, seemed to hypnotize United with each successive completion. It was like each completed pass sucked the life out of Sir Alex Ferguson's men with each passing second. Frankly, it's a mild shock that the final possession stats were only 51 percent to 49 percent in favor of Barcelona.
The way the game unfurled was almost surreal. It set up on a platter for Manchester United, with Ronaldo's dipping freekick mishandled by Victor Valdes. Yet nobody was there to cash in the rebound, as fate clearly shined on the side of Catalonia.
And how about Andres Iniesta first touch, rushing up the field and threading a perfect pass to Sammy Eto'o, who scored at what appeared to be an impossible angle. (Note, Nemanja Vidic's pants are still somewhere on the Stadio Olimpico turf.)
From there Barcelona kept the slow simmer, as United couldn't do anything.
Xavi's perfect lofted pass to Lionel Messi capped it. Messi, who was good in the match, not great, threw his whole body at the ball and headed it clean by Edwin van der Sar (maybe United's only positive player Wednesday) and sealed it. Messi is probably going win all the Player of the Year awards, but I'd like to start some sort of joint-campaign for Xavi and Iniesta.
For my money, the player of the match was Carlos Puyol for playing out of position at right back and taking Ronaldo completely out of the match. Again, perhaps fortune shined on Barca, since Puyol's more defensive mindset worked out instead of the more aggressive Dani Alves.
Really, I wish there was more to say about this match but it was pretty clear cut. Maybe there's a part of me that's disappointed that the actual match didn't live up to the lofty expectations in my mind. This is mostly because of Barca's utter dominance and United's surprising and disappointing capitulation. Really, the whole time it lasted at 1-0 there was still no drama.
You could single out Wayne Rooney's M.I.A. performance, but then you could for just about every United player. That said, the Red Devils weren't the only squad humbled by Barcelona this year, in what was truly a magical season for the Catalans. Maybe we should have seen this coming when Iniesta's magical goal at the death against Chelsea.
It was Barcelona's year.
Since I don't honestly have too much to offer uniquely on this match, I'll throw up some final Champions League critiques on ESPN.
As said before, I won't miss Derek Rae's overly stodgy and stuffy delivery. I mean, bro, this line -- "When in rome, do as the Catalans." Cringe-worthy. That goes for double for all the forced gladiator comments.
Fox, your move.
Labels: barcelona, champions league, manchester United, Soccer
If you were to draw up a dream match in world club football for May 2009, Manchester United v. FC Barcelona probably comes pretty near top of the list. Hell, that's probably the matchup that populates over 90 percent of online games in 'FIFA 09', which is as good an indicator as you might find.
Simply, you're getting two of the world's biggest clubs in the biggest game of the season.
More than that, though, these two clubs seem to represent something. For Americans, even those who wouldn't know Sir Alex Ferguson from Joe Ferguson -- the local plumber -- they know Manchester United, or ManU. The Red Devils are the proto-super club with fan clubs from Seattle to Singapore. They're a big deal.
On the other side, Barcelona are well known, too. Yet their fame has a different tone worldwide. Barcelona seem to represent an idea as much as they do a football club and they aren't owned by a crew of American leprechauns, instead by the supporters themselves. You'll see people with an FCB shirt, who'd scoff at the very notion of sports in general. Consider Barcelona a secret, or not so secret, hipster devotion. (Or as the Guardian pointed out, Manchester United's shirt is sponsored by AIG, while Barca's is UNICEF.)
Beyond that, you have the champions of England and Spain -- the two contrasting styles of the modern game. You have the frantic, physical play of the Premier League against the skill and savvy of the Spanish game.
Throw in the individual battle betwixt Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi and you have just about everything you could possibly want in a sporting event.
So with all this said, it might be lame or corny to say this, but as a neutral I'm simply hoping for a match that can live up to the pre-match pedigree.
It's doubtful Manchester United plays negatively like Chelsea did in the first semifinal leg against Barcelona. It'll be conservative, yes, but there's no way Manchester United hunkers down in a final.
Nor do I think Barcelona is going to turn this into a foul-fest on Ronaldo & Co., because why would it want to turn it into a tit-for-tat scenario?
In the end, you don't often get this 'dream' scenarios playing. Let's just hope it lives up to the game we've already dreamed up in our minds.
Couple other thoughts:
* With all the pre-match talk about Ronaldo and Messi, wouldn't it be appropriate neither is that big a factor.
* Doesn't this seem like the perfect match to justify the purchase of Dmitar Berbatov? Or, more likely, Carlos Tevez to snatch a late winner.
* If Barcelona wins, it caps a pretty dominant 12 months for Spain, started by Spain's win of Euro 2008.
* Isn't it weird that there are so many great Spanish goalkeepers, yet Barcelona sticks with Victor Valdes, whom never seems to impress.
* Thierry Henry -- if healthy -- vs. Manchester United. Delightful.
* This game might be a lot like ping pong, yes ping pong. Whoever controls the spin (or pace) on the ball, will likely win the match.
* Hopefully there are no knife fights and or stabbing in the Stadio Olimpico.
One other thing:
* Don't forget, this will be the last Champions League match broadcast by ESPN for the next couple years, at least. Unlike some of its other soccer endeavors, the 'Worldwide' did a fairly competent job with the UCL. I, for one, won't however miss the attempts at gravitas from Derek Rae and the inane commentary from Tommy Symth who's act felt tired five years ago.
The ball is in the court of Fox. Let's see what happens. Wonder if they'll continue the Ryan Giggs man-love?
Score guess: Manchester United 1, Barcelona 1 (United win in penalties)
Simply, you're getting two of the world's biggest clubs in the biggest game of the season.
More than that, though, these two clubs seem to represent something. For Americans, even those who wouldn't know Sir Alex Ferguson from Joe Ferguson -- the local plumber -- they know Manchester United, or ManU. The Red Devils are the proto-super club with fan clubs from Seattle to Singapore. They're a big deal.
On the other side, Barcelona are well known, too. Yet their fame has a different tone worldwide. Barcelona seem to represent an idea as much as they do a football club and they aren't owned by a crew of American leprechauns, instead by the supporters themselves. You'll see people with an FCB shirt, who'd scoff at the very notion of sports in general. Consider Barcelona a secret, or not so secret, hipster devotion. (Or as the Guardian pointed out, Manchester United's shirt is sponsored by AIG, while Barca's is UNICEF.)
Beyond that, you have the champions of England and Spain -- the two contrasting styles of the modern game. You have the frantic, physical play of the Premier League against the skill and savvy of the Spanish game.
Throw in the individual battle betwixt Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi and you have just about everything you could possibly want in a sporting event.
So with all this said, it might be lame or corny to say this, but as a neutral I'm simply hoping for a match that can live up to the pre-match pedigree.
It's doubtful Manchester United plays negatively like Chelsea did in the first semifinal leg against Barcelona. It'll be conservative, yes, but there's no way Manchester United hunkers down in a final.
Nor do I think Barcelona is going to turn this into a foul-fest on Ronaldo & Co., because why would it want to turn it into a tit-for-tat scenario?
In the end, you don't often get this 'dream' scenarios playing. Let's just hope it lives up to the game we've already dreamed up in our minds.
Couple other thoughts:
* With all the pre-match talk about Ronaldo and Messi, wouldn't it be appropriate neither is that big a factor.
* Doesn't this seem like the perfect match to justify the purchase of Dmitar Berbatov? Or, more likely, Carlos Tevez to snatch a late winner.
* If Barcelona wins, it caps a pretty dominant 12 months for Spain, started by Spain's win of Euro 2008.
* Isn't it weird that there are so many great Spanish goalkeepers, yet Barcelona sticks with Victor Valdes, whom never seems to impress.
* Thierry Henry -- if healthy -- vs. Manchester United. Delightful.
* This game might be a lot like ping pong, yes ping pong. Whoever controls the spin (or pace) on the ball, will likely win the match.
* Hopefully there are no knife fights and or stabbing in the Stadio Olimpico.
One other thing:
* Don't forget, this will be the last Champions League match broadcast by ESPN for the next couple years, at least. Unlike some of its other soccer endeavors, the 'Worldwide' did a fairly competent job with the UCL. I, for one, won't however miss the attempts at gravitas from Derek Rae and the inane commentary from Tommy Symth who's act felt tired five years ago.
The ball is in the court of Fox. Let's see what happens. Wonder if they'll continue the Ryan Giggs man-love?
Score guess: Manchester United 1, Barcelona 1 (United win in penalties)
Labels: barcelona, champions league, manchester United, Soccer
Sunday morning, I went through the routine.
Got up, schlepped over the the local bagel place. Got myself a blueberry bagel and a truly awful coffee and return to my cave to watch the final round of the Premier League season.
The title had already been decided and the race for the EuropaUEFA thing-a-ma-jig between Fulham and Tottenham didn't really set my heart afire.
Instead it was all about the morbid curiosity of who could suck the least (not he most eloquent description, yet apt) between Hull City and Newcastle United.
On the big T.V. it was Hull City -- at home -- trying to get a result of some kind against 11 guys Sir Alex Ferguson plucked off the street, err, the Manchester United reserves. As soon as they put up the team sheet graphic, I wondered aloud -- in a nod to 'Major League' -- who are these fucking guys? (No Japanese, though.)
As commentator Colin pointed out -- how bad exactly is Hull. Their best couldn't, at home no less, get even a draw against Manchester United's third-choice roster.
Congrats are in order since Phil Brown's men -- thanks to a nice run of form at the start of the season stick around for another ride on the Premier League carousel. The team might not be that great and the KC Stadium has rugby lines visible on it, but at least the fans come out to support the team.
Now a couple weeks ago I spilled coffee on my laptop and fried the thing. I got a new one and wasn't aware until Sunday it came with Smell-O-Vision, because the stink from Newcastle United's rotting corpse could be sniffed through the screen of the Setanta feed.
Why bother to heap on the misery of the Magpies, but no less than 10 minutes after Darron Gibson's long-range effort against Hull gave Newcastle United a lifeline, it was over. Gareth Barry's deflected shot off the zombie wearing Damien Duff's leg proved to be the final nail in the coffin.
For the next hour of the match you'd think, stress, think that Newcastle would have thrown everything but the kitchen sink at Aston Villa to try to get a goal that would have ensured safety. Instead, I think maybe the Magpies had like one solid shot -- if that -- on Brad Friedel. Hell, you'd think Alan Shearer would have ripped off his tailored suit and had a full kit on under it to swoop in and save the day with a one-hand salute.
Nope.
Newcastle United went down with a wheeze and a whimper.
That was that, aside from mandatory shots of the pudgy, teary eyed Geordies -- shirts optional.
And with that, the curtain fell on the 2009-10 Premier League season, which I'm still internally debating if it was a good season or not.
If anything, this year further re-enforced the haves and have-nots the the league has created. The 'Big Four' will only get bigger and richer with their Champions League loot, while clubs like Everton, Aston Villa, Tottenham and the flavor of the year such as Fulham (not a disrespect, the Cottagers were maybe the best story of the season) try to hammer away at the exclusive club.
The gulf between the upper class, the struggling middle class and the unwashed poor grew even greater -- perhaps in a reflection of the world at large in the financial crisis. The truly awful clubs this year -- Sunderland, Newcastle, Hull, Middlesbrough, West Brom and the forgettably bad -- Blackburn, Bolton, Portsmouth did nothing to really warrant inclusion in the top flight.
Put it this way, together the three relegated clubs totaled 22 combined wins, which was less than Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool by themselves.
Again, in another real-world comparison, the writing appears on the wall that the Premier League balloon is on the verge of popping. The weird thing is that it might be the other teams -- not the Big Four -- that should force the move -- or they'll go bankrupt trying to keep up. (Hell, even the big boys are buying on credit and have debt floating over their heads.)
Look at Burnley, which won the promotion playoff Monday. The club is in a city of 77,000. The might have one or two fans in Asia, not the millions Manchester United has cultivated. How are the clarets supposed to compete? They could spend the money on players, but look at how much good that did Derby two years ago, or even Hull which got extremely lucky.
How is this team, or others like it, supposed to compete with the billions from the oil-rich Manchester City owners?
Unlike American sports, if you fuck up in England or any other league you're pretty much screwed. You're relegated, and if you're completely clueless on how to run the books you fall from the face of existence.
Is this a game worth playing?
Still, for all that, come August I'll be schlepping down to Village Bagels and placing my order. I just hope by then the coffee is a little better.
End of year stuff
Here's the deal, I started trying to do a best XI team. But stopped midway because it was hard to figure on a formation, since the league's best players all seem to field the same position. Does that make sense? Instead I'm going up and down the table and just jotting some thoughts on each team. Here's my preseason guesses. Be nice, they were bad. (Here's a nice rundown of miscellaneous stuff.)
* Manchester United (1st, 90 points) -- Great offense. Great defense. Great depth. As long as Ronaldo -- even with a less deadly season than last year -- sticks around, the Red Devils are going to be in this spot. How and where Sir Alex fortifies this team will be interesting. The best for a reason.
* Liverpool (2nd, 86) -- The league was lost on back-to-back scoreless draws with Fulham and West Ham in November/December. I'll say this was a very good, not great season, but a wonderful job considering the injuries that kept affecting Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres -- my favorite player to watch this season. At the other end, how about Dirk Kuyt. None of the elegance of Torres, but all the heart and work. Once again, the focus for Rafa Benitez is finding a partner for Torres, one that might actually stick around.
* Chelsea (3rd, 83) -- Hmmm...when I look at the table I'm still surprised the Blues were seven points behind United. It might be easy, but chalk it up to Big Phil fizzling out, since after that the Blues were pretty vicious and deadly. Chelsea always remains the most dangerous team because they simply flick away the crap teams like gnats. Depending on the manager, I think it's time to let the Didier Drogba team leave the station. Too much drama. Convince David Villa to come north and turn him loose. I for one missed Joe Cole and his wristbands.
* Arsenal (4th, 72) -- How to spin this one? The forgettable first half? Or the pretty good second? Still, 18 points off first place is pretty close to failure rate at the Emirates. I'm not even going to start to think where Arsene Wenger goes. Me, I'd sell Emmanuel Adebayor and bring in a couple central defenders. The other thing, you have to hope Cesc Fabregas bounces back from what was pretty much a lost season. Either way, we'll all enjoy a full season of Andrei Arshavin bouncing around the penalty area.
* Everton (5th, 63) -- A tip of the cap to David Moyes. How he's able to get blood from a stone continues to amaze. The conundrum for Everton is that across the board they're pretty good and with Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta healthy they can be great, but it's such a fine line. For Everton to make the leap to the next level might be the hardest jump in sports.
* Aston Villa (6th, 62) -- What the hell happened in February. There is shitting the bed and then there is what Aston Villa did. Chalk it up to losing to CSKA Moscow in the UEFA Cup, it's an easy excuse. The problem for Aston Villa -- and the rest of the second tier teams -- they have very good players like Ashley Young, Stilian Petrov, etc. Yet when they get spread out in these European competitions they can't bring on a Ji-Sung Park, for example, to fill in and these players are at the level of greatness like a Ronaldo or a Lampard, etc. where they'll win on pure talent. Still, sixth place is nothing to poo-poo, but after the talk of the Champions League in the fall it feels like a colossal disappointment. Going forward, Martin O'Neill might have to shake things up, a bit, because this team could stagnate. (The Gareth Barry watch starts....now, ugh.)
* Fulham (7th, 53) -- If I gave out grades here, Fulham gets a straight A. It's hard to believe nobody else in Fulham's class of teams has used the Roy Hodgson formuala, which boils down to keeping it simple. A standard starting XI. A pretty straight-forward plan of attack. Two strikers that work well together and a decent tackling midfield. It shouldn't be that hard. What will be hard is retaining Brede Hangeland from Arsenal and figuring out how to roll the dice on Europe. Still, a wonderful season, even for a seventh place finish. Small victories, people.
* Tottenham (8th, 51) -- Team drama ended up with a fairly competent season and if Spurs were on television, I'd be sure to watch. Tottenham have the tools and resources to make a run at the Big Four, but does the club have the mentality or stomach for it? That means the players and the fans. As it turns out a strikeforce of Keane and Defoe isn't too bad, eh? Of course it was Darren Bent's 12 goals that led the way. One other thing, Gomes turned out to be fairly competent in goal. Who knew?
* West Ham (9th, 51) -- Not to cut them short, but somebody had to finish ninth and West Ham did. All season I marveled at how this team could stick in the top half of the table, and I'm still marveling. Must be Gianfranco Zola.
* Manchester City (10th, 50) -- Considering Florentino Perez is probably taking over again at Real Madrid, perhaps a word of caution City fans. Of any sport, soccer players might be the hardest to motivate. A lot of times stupid American sports fans label soccer players flopping prima donnas, well they're not that far off. If City wants to bring in superstar, million-dollar players go for it, but how do they stay motivated with a massive number being deposited into their bank accounts every two weeks? Manager (for now) Mark Hughes seemed to have the right idea with hard-nosed players like Nigel de Jong and Pablo Zabaleta, but will those grinders satiate the Arabian owners, who clearly want 'champagne football'? Let's put it this way. City isn't going to be able to buy a title. If you want to draw comparisons to Chelsea, remember when they won back-to-back titles with Jose Mourinho, it was with pretty drab football, built from the defense out. Put it this way, Robinho might make plenty of nice YouTube clips, but are you winning anything of significance with him?
* Wigan Athletic (11th, 45) -- Brutal, effect, honest and hard working? Yeah, that's pretty much the team Steve Bruce built. The Latics took a hit when they sold off Wilson Palacios to Spurs in January. What happens when Luis Valencia wakes up and realizes he's playing at Wigan this summer? Bruce needs to invest in a striker, or two, because it would appear the Amir Zaki mirage isn't going to return to the desert.
* Stoke City (12th, 45) -- Good at home. Not flashy. Long throws? Stoke somehow built a formula that got results. The season probably changed for the Potters when Ryan Shawcross scored in the 88th minute to start a 2-2 comeback against Aston Villa in early March. In fact it changed the fortunes of each team. Stoke seem to have a solid, if drab, core. How Tony Pulis adds to the squad will likely result in survival or death next season. All and all, another great job from a team most everybody wrote off.
* Bolton (13th, 41) -- In the words of Jay Peterman of 'Seinfeld' fame, "Congratulations Elaine on a job ... done." Bolton seemed to be one of those clubs that was good or bad every other week. Perhaps Bolton had the two most underrated players, or English players, with both Kevin Davies and Matty Taylor each finishing with 10 goals.
* Portsmouth (14, 41) -- Congrats to Paul Hart for somehow steering the Pompey ship to safety. Still, the cracks are starting to show on the club that Redknapp led to FA Cup glory, and a lot of those players probably want to head for greener pastures. I could see Pompey making a couple terrible moves over the summer and really sweating it out next season. Pretty soon the age of David James and Sol Campbell will catch up with them. If I were any club in the world, I'd throw out a lowball offer for Niko Kranjcar.
* Blackburn Rovers (15, 41) -- Another English manager, another miracle. This time it's Sam Allardyce. All you need to know is down the stretch, Blackburn played Chris Samba at central forward...and didn't get relegated. On the bright side for Blackburn -- two matches with Burnley next season and the nice cash from selling Roque Santa Cruz to some other saps.
* Sunderland (16, 36) -- I've kept piling on Sunderland in recent weeks. Why stop now? This team simply got lucky because four other teams were somehow worse than them. Sunderland won three games in all of 2009. Awesome. Here's the thing, chairman Naill Quinn has big ideas and dreams, but doesn't realize no huge difference making stars want to play at Sunderland. The only way to win was with a solid squad that played together. Roy Keane attempted that and quit. Where they go from here? Who knows?
* Hull City (17, 35) -- Darling in September. Lucky bastards in May. Maybe the downfall was the bad karma from the lack of playing time for Dean Windass? In the end this team seemed like it would struggle to get results in the Championship, yet sticks around for another season in the big time. I was always a big fan of Phil Brown's headset. Looks like he has a career in telemarketing when he's inevitably fired sometime next season when Hull struggles and the players tune him out.
* Newcastle United (18th, 34) -- To use the Internet parlance of our times -- FAIL.
* Middlesbrough (19th, 32) -- In short, you can't win if you don't score. At least this finally ends the yearly Stewart Downing transfer talk. Can you say Spurs?
* West Brom (20th, 32) -- Well, if you don't even bother to get a shirt sponsor, well, that doesn't bode well. And it didn't.
Finished reading through all that? Enough typos and spelling mistakes for ya?
Two more quickies.
* Best player -- Frank Lampard. I'm curious why everyone in England hates him. He basically brings it each and every game and is a consistent source of goals from the midfield. Is it because he's not Steven Gerrard? Lampard never gave a cheap game. Yes, he had four goals less than Gerrard, who finished with 16, but I think Lampard was a bit more consistent and stayed healthy.
* Worst player -- While I could have picked just about anyone on Newcastle, the onus falls on Michael Owen, healthy or not. He was counted on to lead the Geordies, instead he ended with eight goals. That's three less than Stoke's Ricardo Fuller. Part of being a great player is staying healthy and Owen was a failure on all fronts this season.
Finally...
One last round of applause for the winning fantasy league team -- Kent Darcy's La Academia, who won going away.
Before wrapping this up. Thanks for stopping by each week. It was fun. Your comments kept me going.
I'll have a Champions League preview up Tuesday night and don't worry, it's a busy summer for the USMNT, which means I'll be busy too.
Adios.
Got up, schlepped over the the local bagel place. Got myself a blueberry bagel and a truly awful coffee and return to my cave to watch the final round of the Premier League season.
The title had already been decided and the race for the EuropaUEFA thing-a-ma-jig between Fulham and Tottenham didn't really set my heart afire.
Instead it was all about the morbid curiosity of who could suck the least (not he most eloquent description, yet apt) between Hull City and Newcastle United.
On the big T.V. it was Hull City -- at home -- trying to get a result of some kind against 11 guys Sir Alex Ferguson plucked off the street, err, the Manchester United reserves. As soon as they put up the team sheet graphic, I wondered aloud -- in a nod to 'Major League' -- who are these fucking guys? (No Japanese, though.)
As commentator Colin pointed out -- how bad exactly is Hull. Their best couldn't, at home no less, get even a draw against Manchester United's third-choice roster.
Congrats are in order since Phil Brown's men -- thanks to a nice run of form at the start of the season stick around for another ride on the Premier League carousel. The team might not be that great and the KC Stadium has rugby lines visible on it, but at least the fans come out to support the team.
Now a couple weeks ago I spilled coffee on my laptop and fried the thing. I got a new one and wasn't aware until Sunday it came with Smell-O-Vision, because the stink from Newcastle United's rotting corpse could be sniffed through the screen of the Setanta feed.
Why bother to heap on the misery of the Magpies, but no less than 10 minutes after Darron Gibson's long-range effort against Hull gave Newcastle United a lifeline, it was over. Gareth Barry's deflected shot off the zombie wearing Damien Duff's leg proved to be the final nail in the coffin.
For the next hour of the match you'd think, stress, think that Newcastle would have thrown everything but the kitchen sink at Aston Villa to try to get a goal that would have ensured safety. Instead, I think maybe the Magpies had like one solid shot -- if that -- on Brad Friedel. Hell, you'd think Alan Shearer would have ripped off his tailored suit and had a full kit on under it to swoop in and save the day with a one-hand salute.
Nope.
Newcastle United went down with a wheeze and a whimper.
That was that, aside from mandatory shots of the pudgy, teary eyed Geordies -- shirts optional.
And with that, the curtain fell on the 2009-10 Premier League season, which I'm still internally debating if it was a good season or not.
If anything, this year further re-enforced the haves and have-nots the the league has created. The 'Big Four' will only get bigger and richer with their Champions League loot, while clubs like Everton, Aston Villa, Tottenham and the flavor of the year such as Fulham (not a disrespect, the Cottagers were maybe the best story of the season) try to hammer away at the exclusive club.
The gulf between the upper class, the struggling middle class and the unwashed poor grew even greater -- perhaps in a reflection of the world at large in the financial crisis. The truly awful clubs this year -- Sunderland, Newcastle, Hull, Middlesbrough, West Brom and the forgettably bad -- Blackburn, Bolton, Portsmouth did nothing to really warrant inclusion in the top flight.
Put it this way, together the three relegated clubs totaled 22 combined wins, which was less than Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool by themselves.
Again, in another real-world comparison, the writing appears on the wall that the Premier League balloon is on the verge of popping. The weird thing is that it might be the other teams -- not the Big Four -- that should force the move -- or they'll go bankrupt trying to keep up. (Hell, even the big boys are buying on credit and have debt floating over their heads.)
Look at Burnley, which won the promotion playoff Monday. The club is in a city of 77,000. The might have one or two fans in Asia, not the millions Manchester United has cultivated. How are the clarets supposed to compete? They could spend the money on players, but look at how much good that did Derby two years ago, or even Hull which got extremely lucky.
How is this team, or others like it, supposed to compete with the billions from the oil-rich Manchester City owners?
Unlike American sports, if you fuck up in England or any other league you're pretty much screwed. You're relegated, and if you're completely clueless on how to run the books you fall from the face of existence.
Is this a game worth playing?
Still, for all that, come August I'll be schlepping down to Village Bagels and placing my order. I just hope by then the coffee is a little better.
End of year stuff
Here's the deal, I started trying to do a best XI team. But stopped midway because it was hard to figure on a formation, since the league's best players all seem to field the same position. Does that make sense? Instead I'm going up and down the table and just jotting some thoughts on each team. Here's my preseason guesses. Be nice, they were bad. (Here's a nice rundown of miscellaneous stuff.)
* Manchester United (1st, 90 points) -- Great offense. Great defense. Great depth. As long as Ronaldo -- even with a less deadly season than last year -- sticks around, the Red Devils are going to be in this spot. How and where Sir Alex fortifies this team will be interesting. The best for a reason.
* Liverpool (2nd, 86) -- The league was lost on back-to-back scoreless draws with Fulham and West Ham in November/December. I'll say this was a very good, not great season, but a wonderful job considering the injuries that kept affecting Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres -- my favorite player to watch this season. At the other end, how about Dirk Kuyt. None of the elegance of Torres, but all the heart and work. Once again, the focus for Rafa Benitez is finding a partner for Torres, one that might actually stick around.
* Chelsea (3rd, 83) -- Hmmm...when I look at the table I'm still surprised the Blues were seven points behind United. It might be easy, but chalk it up to Big Phil fizzling out, since after that the Blues were pretty vicious and deadly. Chelsea always remains the most dangerous team because they simply flick away the crap teams like gnats. Depending on the manager, I think it's time to let the Didier Drogba team leave the station. Too much drama. Convince David Villa to come north and turn him loose. I for one missed Joe Cole and his wristbands.
* Arsenal (4th, 72) -- How to spin this one? The forgettable first half? Or the pretty good second? Still, 18 points off first place is pretty close to failure rate at the Emirates. I'm not even going to start to think where Arsene Wenger goes. Me, I'd sell Emmanuel Adebayor and bring in a couple central defenders. The other thing, you have to hope Cesc Fabregas bounces back from what was pretty much a lost season. Either way, we'll all enjoy a full season of Andrei Arshavin bouncing around the penalty area.
* Everton (5th, 63) -- A tip of the cap to David Moyes. How he's able to get blood from a stone continues to amaze. The conundrum for Everton is that across the board they're pretty good and with Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta healthy they can be great, but it's such a fine line. For Everton to make the leap to the next level might be the hardest jump in sports.
* Aston Villa (6th, 62) -- What the hell happened in February. There is shitting the bed and then there is what Aston Villa did. Chalk it up to losing to CSKA Moscow in the UEFA Cup, it's an easy excuse. The problem for Aston Villa -- and the rest of the second tier teams -- they have very good players like Ashley Young, Stilian Petrov, etc. Yet when they get spread out in these European competitions they can't bring on a Ji-Sung Park, for example, to fill in and these players are at the level of greatness like a Ronaldo or a Lampard, etc. where they'll win on pure talent. Still, sixth place is nothing to poo-poo, but after the talk of the Champions League in the fall it feels like a colossal disappointment. Going forward, Martin O'Neill might have to shake things up, a bit, because this team could stagnate. (The Gareth Barry watch starts....now, ugh.)
* Fulham (7th, 53) -- If I gave out grades here, Fulham gets a straight A. It's hard to believe nobody else in Fulham's class of teams has used the Roy Hodgson formuala, which boils down to keeping it simple. A standard starting XI. A pretty straight-forward plan of attack. Two strikers that work well together and a decent tackling midfield. It shouldn't be that hard. What will be hard is retaining Brede Hangeland from Arsenal and figuring out how to roll the dice on Europe. Still, a wonderful season, even for a seventh place finish. Small victories, people.
* Tottenham (8th, 51) -- Team drama ended up with a fairly competent season and if Spurs were on television, I'd be sure to watch. Tottenham have the tools and resources to make a run at the Big Four, but does the club have the mentality or stomach for it? That means the players and the fans. As it turns out a strikeforce of Keane and Defoe isn't too bad, eh? Of course it was Darren Bent's 12 goals that led the way. One other thing, Gomes turned out to be fairly competent in goal. Who knew?
* West Ham (9th, 51) -- Not to cut them short, but somebody had to finish ninth and West Ham did. All season I marveled at how this team could stick in the top half of the table, and I'm still marveling. Must be Gianfranco Zola.
* Manchester City (10th, 50) -- Considering Florentino Perez is probably taking over again at Real Madrid, perhaps a word of caution City fans. Of any sport, soccer players might be the hardest to motivate. A lot of times stupid American sports fans label soccer players flopping prima donnas, well they're not that far off. If City wants to bring in superstar, million-dollar players go for it, but how do they stay motivated with a massive number being deposited into their bank accounts every two weeks? Manager (for now) Mark Hughes seemed to have the right idea with hard-nosed players like Nigel de Jong and Pablo Zabaleta, but will those grinders satiate the Arabian owners, who clearly want 'champagne football'? Let's put it this way. City isn't going to be able to buy a title. If you want to draw comparisons to Chelsea, remember when they won back-to-back titles with Jose Mourinho, it was with pretty drab football, built from the defense out. Put it this way, Robinho might make plenty of nice YouTube clips, but are you winning anything of significance with him?
* Wigan Athletic (11th, 45) -- Brutal, effect, honest and hard working? Yeah, that's pretty much the team Steve Bruce built. The Latics took a hit when they sold off Wilson Palacios to Spurs in January. What happens when Luis Valencia wakes up and realizes he's playing at Wigan this summer? Bruce needs to invest in a striker, or two, because it would appear the Amir Zaki mirage isn't going to return to the desert.
* Stoke City (12th, 45) -- Good at home. Not flashy. Long throws? Stoke somehow built a formula that got results. The season probably changed for the Potters when Ryan Shawcross scored in the 88th minute to start a 2-2 comeback against Aston Villa in early March. In fact it changed the fortunes of each team. Stoke seem to have a solid, if drab, core. How Tony Pulis adds to the squad will likely result in survival or death next season. All and all, another great job from a team most everybody wrote off.
* Bolton (13th, 41) -- In the words of Jay Peterman of 'Seinfeld' fame, "Congratulations Elaine on a job ... done." Bolton seemed to be one of those clubs that was good or bad every other week. Perhaps Bolton had the two most underrated players, or English players, with both Kevin Davies and Matty Taylor each finishing with 10 goals.
* Portsmouth (14, 41) -- Congrats to Paul Hart for somehow steering the Pompey ship to safety. Still, the cracks are starting to show on the club that Redknapp led to FA Cup glory, and a lot of those players probably want to head for greener pastures. I could see Pompey making a couple terrible moves over the summer and really sweating it out next season. Pretty soon the age of David James and Sol Campbell will catch up with them. If I were any club in the world, I'd throw out a lowball offer for Niko Kranjcar.
* Blackburn Rovers (15, 41) -- Another English manager, another miracle. This time it's Sam Allardyce. All you need to know is down the stretch, Blackburn played Chris Samba at central forward...and didn't get relegated. On the bright side for Blackburn -- two matches with Burnley next season and the nice cash from selling Roque Santa Cruz to some other saps.
* Sunderland (16, 36) -- I've kept piling on Sunderland in recent weeks. Why stop now? This team simply got lucky because four other teams were somehow worse than them. Sunderland won three games in all of 2009. Awesome. Here's the thing, chairman Naill Quinn has big ideas and dreams, but doesn't realize no huge difference making stars want to play at Sunderland. The only way to win was with a solid squad that played together. Roy Keane attempted that and quit. Where they go from here? Who knows?
* Hull City (17, 35) -- Darling in September. Lucky bastards in May. Maybe the downfall was the bad karma from the lack of playing time for Dean Windass? In the end this team seemed like it would struggle to get results in the Championship, yet sticks around for another season in the big time. I was always a big fan of Phil Brown's headset. Looks like he has a career in telemarketing when he's inevitably fired sometime next season when Hull struggles and the players tune him out.
* Newcastle United (18th, 34) -- To use the Internet parlance of our times -- FAIL.
* Middlesbrough (19th, 32) -- In short, you can't win if you don't score. At least this finally ends the yearly Stewart Downing transfer talk. Can you say Spurs?
* West Brom (20th, 32) -- Well, if you don't even bother to get a shirt sponsor, well, that doesn't bode well. And it didn't.
Finished reading through all that? Enough typos and spelling mistakes for ya?
Two more quickies.
* Best player -- Frank Lampard. I'm curious why everyone in England hates him. He basically brings it each and every game and is a consistent source of goals from the midfield. Is it because he's not Steven Gerrard? Lampard never gave a cheap game. Yes, he had four goals less than Gerrard, who finished with 16, but I think Lampard was a bit more consistent and stayed healthy.
* Worst player -- While I could have picked just about anyone on Newcastle, the onus falls on Michael Owen, healthy or not. He was counted on to lead the Geordies, instead he ended with eight goals. That's three less than Stoke's Ricardo Fuller. Part of being a great player is staying healthy and Owen was a failure on all fronts this season.
Finally...
One last round of applause for the winning fantasy league team -- Kent Darcy's La Academia, who won going away.
Before wrapping this up. Thanks for stopping by each week. It was fun. Your comments kept me going.
I'll have a Champions League preview up Tuesday night and don't worry, it's a busy summer for the USMNT, which means I'll be busy too.
Adios.
Labels: Monday recaps, Premier League, Soccer
So as I wait for Setanta's Broadband site to actually load on my computer, why not post on Bob Bradley's roster for the U.S. qualifiers next month against Costa Rica and Honduras.
Nothing too crazy, as we've come to expect.
The most noteworthy inclusions are the returns of Benny Feilhaber and Jonathon Spector -- who is one of nine defenders on the 24-man roster. To some degree, too, it's a little surprising that Freddy Adu is in the mix, consider his lack of playing time in Europe and Bradley's reluctance to unleash him. Adu will likely get some run, you'd think, at either the Confederations Cup or Gold Cup this summer.
As said before, let's hope Feilhaber doesn't -- or hasn't already -- become the newest John O'Brien. Spector? Maybe a year or two older and under Gianfranco Zola's guidance he's taken the next step.
Other than that, Steve Cherundolo remains sidelined by injuries, leaving the right back spot open for either evergreen Frankie Hejduk or green Jonathan Bornstein.
Long story short, this is pretty much seem to be the USMNT 'A' Team, the team we'll most like see in South Africa in June.
There's so many games coming up, I'll wait until the European league seasons -- namely the Champions League -- before delving into the USMNT maelstrom.
Hey, my Setanta is back and Newcastle hasn't yet been relegated. What a country!
GOALKEEPERS (2): Brad Guzan (Aston Villa), Tim Howard (Everton)
DEFENDERS (9): Carlos Bocanegra (Rennes), Jonathan Bornstein (Chivas USA), Danny Califf (Midtjylland), Jay DeMerit (Watford), Frankie Hejduk (Columbus Crew), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard de Liege), Heath Pearce (Hansa Rostock), Jonathan Spector (West Ham United), Marvell Wynne (Toronto FC)
MIDFIELDERS (8): Freddy Adu (Monaco), DaMarcus Beasley (Rangers), Michael Bradley (Borussia Mönchengladbach), Maurice Edu (Rangers), Benny Feilhaber (Aarhus), Sacha Kljestan (Chivas USA), Pablo Mastroeni (Colorado Rapids), José Francisco Torres (Pachuca)
FORWARDS (5): Jozy Altidore (Xerez), Brian Ching (Houston Dynamo), Charlie Davies (Hammarby), Clint Dempsey (Fulham), Landon Donovan (Los Angeles Galaxy)
Nothing too crazy, as we've come to expect.
The most noteworthy inclusions are the returns of Benny Feilhaber and Jonathon Spector -- who is one of nine defenders on the 24-man roster. To some degree, too, it's a little surprising that Freddy Adu is in the mix, consider his lack of playing time in Europe and Bradley's reluctance to unleash him. Adu will likely get some run, you'd think, at either the Confederations Cup or Gold Cup this summer.
As said before, let's hope Feilhaber doesn't -- or hasn't already -- become the newest John O'Brien. Spector? Maybe a year or two older and under Gianfranco Zola's guidance he's taken the next step.
Other than that, Steve Cherundolo remains sidelined by injuries, leaving the right back spot open for either evergreen Frankie Hejduk or green Jonathan Bornstein.
Long story short, this is pretty much seem to be the USMNT 'A' Team, the team we'll most like see in South Africa in June.
There's so many games coming up, I'll wait until the European league seasons -- namely the Champions League -- before delving into the USMNT maelstrom.
Hey, my Setanta is back and Newcastle hasn't yet been relegated. What a country!
GOALKEEPERS (2): Brad Guzan (Aston Villa), Tim Howard (Everton)
DEFENDERS (9): Carlos Bocanegra (Rennes), Jonathan Bornstein (Chivas USA), Danny Califf (Midtjylland), Jay DeMerit (Watford), Frankie Hejduk (Columbus Crew), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard de Liege), Heath Pearce (Hansa Rostock), Jonathan Spector (West Ham United), Marvell Wynne (Toronto FC)
MIDFIELDERS (8): Freddy Adu (Monaco), DaMarcus Beasley (Rangers), Michael Bradley (Borussia Mönchengladbach), Maurice Edu (Rangers), Benny Feilhaber (Aarhus), Sacha Kljestan (Chivas USA), Pablo Mastroeni (Colorado Rapids), José Francisco Torres (Pachuca)
FORWARDS (5): Jozy Altidore (Xerez), Brian Ching (Houston Dynamo), Charlie Davies (Hammarby), Clint Dempsey (Fulham), Landon Donovan (Los Angeles Galaxy)
Labels: Soccer, USMNT, world cup qualifying
"If this is it...do-wop...please let me know." -- Huey Lewis & the News
First, quick housekeeping. I'll run through the typical year end awards, best XI (suggestions, as always, welcome) stuff on the usual recap post, which might run Tuesday morning. So it'll give you a little something to read after a post Memorial Day hangover. That gives everybody a time more time to digest ahead of the Armageddon game in Rome on Wednesday.
So here we are.
The final matchday of the 2008-09 Premier League season.
With the title decided, we turn our attention to the curio that is relegation, i.e. the aspect of the tier-system league that fascinates and frustrates American sports fans. Time after time I hear, wouldn't it be great if relegation and promotion were applied to our sports, MLS included.
To save time and space, it's never happening and couldn't happen without ripping a hole through the space-time continuum.
Instead, we get to watch on with a morbid curiosity as we find out which two of Sunderland, Hull City, Newcastle United and Middlesbrough are sucked down into the abyss that is the English League Championship, replaced by Wolves, Birmingham City and the winner of the do-or-die Sheffield United/Burnley playoff.
As I've said lately, none of these teams really have done anything to warrant another season in the Premier League. Whether it was through a comedy of errors (Newcastle), colossal indifference (Sunderland), or incompetence in front of the net (Middlesbrough), these four have proven nothing more than cannon fodder for the rest of the league, yet two will live on.
And whichever two survive will likely find themselves in this space again next year.
Of the four, if Hull sticks around maybe the Tigers can make a move up the table. They'd get Jimmy Bullard for a full season, if he's healthy. Hull could add a bit more depth an poach a player or two from a relegated team or a Championship club and maybe they can consolidate and move upward. Yes, other than that brief stint at the start of the season, the Tigers weren't very good, but Phil Brown at least acts like a passable manager. The fact they weren't relegated weeks ago, like Derby County a year ago, is something of an accomplishment, right?
Sunderland? Meh. Just like Middlesbrough the clubs don't seem to have any sort of direction. Nor are they places that players are oozing to join. Sunderland's been a yo-yo club anyways and 'Boro have had the grim reaper's axe over their heads for years -- which makes that improbable run to the UEFA Cup final a few years ago seem all the more remarkable. Perhaps Steve McClaren wasn't such a terrible club coach after all.
Look at those two clubs. Is there anything that excites you? Seriously? Anything? Will one or two additions make a difference? A year ago Gareth Southgate figured Jérémie Aliadière, Martin Emnes and Didier Digard would make a difference.
As for Newcastle. You couldn't even make this season up if you tried. From the Allardyce quick sacking to the Joe Kinnear rants to now Alan Sherear?
Newcastle faces the abyss for the simple reason -- utter incompetence. Looking at the roster (of players that factored into the season) aside from keeper Steven Harper, Kevin Nolan and maybe Obi Martins how many others would start at another Premier League team. That includes the rotting corpse of the player that once was Michael Owen, too.
This club needs something, perhaps a brain isn't the right word, but something other than the identity of its devoted fans. At some point you have to draw the line between appeasing the fans and making smart moves. Hindsight is 20/20 but if Allardyce stuck around, the club would have figured out a way to grind out results -- look at Blackburn.
So in the end, it is what is it.
Two shitty teams live on, and in the televisions of millions of sets worldwide, while two slightly shittier teams disappear from our (hearts) and minds and possibly from existence, too.
Sunday
* Arsenal v. Stoke City -- Just a hunch, but Rory Delap isn't going to catch the Gunners off guard this time around. Amazingly, if the Potters sweep the season series, they could finish in the top half of the table. Nobody saw that coming. Underline nobody. ... Arsenal 3, Stoke 1
* Aston Villa v. Newcastle United -- (Live, Setanta, 11 a.m.) If you're Martin O'Neil, how do you motivate the club that a win here could mean the difference between an automatic spot in the Europa League group stages or facing a two-leg playoff with, likely, some club from Eastern Europe with 45-straight consonants in its name. I'm sure that rates with Ashley 'MIA' Young and Gabby Agbonlahor. Meanwhile, Newcastle needs no motivation -- it's win or die. At this point I'm not sure what is more stunning, the fact Newcastle only won seven games or the fact it actually could win that many. The Magpies might be able to score some goals, but how do they keep Villa off the board? The defense is, hard to say, worse that it was with Jean Alain-Boumsong and Titus Bramble. I like having Newcastle around, but nothing short of a miracle will save them here. ... Aston Villa 1, Newcastle United 1
* Blackburn v. West Brom -- Take a good, solid look Rovers. That could have been you. ... Blackburn 2, West Brom 2
* Fulham v. Everton -- Oddly enough, maybe the most intriguing game of the weekend. Fulham needs a point, at least, to ensure a place in the Europa League qualifying stages. Do the Cottagers even want that? It would upset Roy Hodgson's apple cart. It's a weird spot. This is the absolute peak for Fulham -- seventh place. Even if they bolster the squad for Europe, it'll mess with their set lineup. And if Hangeland leaves, they might end up in a relegation fight. (Unless Oguchi Onyewu, a rumored target, steps in seamlessly). Where else would a good season actually turn out to be bad for the future? Everton, on the other hand, need to fend off Aston Villa for the Europa League automatic spot (Again, if anyone wants it.) The Toffees also need to rest some guys ahead of the FA Cup final. Finally, this pits perhaps the two most impressive managing performances of the season betwen Roy Hodgson and David Moyes. ... Fulham 2, Everton 1
* Hull City v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Obviously everyone in Northeast England is having nightmares of the final season game two years ago when Manchester United sleptwalked through the match, allowing Carlos Tevez to save West Ham. Yet, isn't a second-choice United still a pretty formidable foe for Hull City? The Tigers had their magic last spring. It's not happening again. ... Hull City 0, Manchester United 1
* Liverpool v. Tottenham -- Even with a loss, Liverpool has second tied up, barring a Chelsea goal barrage. Spurs? Remember when they were the last club to notch a win. It happened. ... Liverpool 2, Spurs 0
* Manchester City v. Bolton -- Fun fact (for a pointless match) -- City has 18 losses -- which would put them in relegation territory, but they only have five draws. ... City 3, Bolton 1
* Sunderland v. Chelsea -- Sunderland will have it's fingers crossed that everybody else loses and form holds, because we know Chelsea isn't a team that takes games off ... or shows mercy. The Blues actually do have something to play for, as Nic Anelka needs a goal to be the sole top scorer in the league, assuming Ronaldo sits out for United. ... Sunderland 0, Chelsea 2
* West Ham v. Middlesbrough -- Wouldn't it just make sense that the team that showed the least fight and quality to remain the top flight will be the team that escapes -- Middlesbrough? And that we go through the same thing again next year like a 'Lost' time loop? ... West Ham 1, Middlesbrough 2
* Wigan Athletic v. Portsmouth -- Why not just a rugby match here and make everyone happy? ... Wigan 1, Portsmouth 0
Last week: 7-3
Season: 175-188
First, quick housekeeping. I'll run through the typical year end awards, best XI (suggestions, as always, welcome) stuff on the usual recap post, which might run Tuesday morning. So it'll give you a little something to read after a post Memorial Day hangover. That gives everybody a time more time to digest ahead of the Armageddon game in Rome on Wednesday.
So here we are.
The final matchday of the 2008-09 Premier League season.
With the title decided, we turn our attention to the curio that is relegation, i.e. the aspect of the tier-system league that fascinates and frustrates American sports fans. Time after time I hear, wouldn't it be great if relegation and promotion were applied to our sports, MLS included.
To save time and space, it's never happening and couldn't happen without ripping a hole through the space-time continuum.
Instead, we get to watch on with a morbid curiosity as we find out which two of Sunderland, Hull City, Newcastle United and Middlesbrough are sucked down into the abyss that is the English League Championship, replaced by Wolves, Birmingham City and the winner of the do-or-die Sheffield United/Burnley playoff.
As I've said lately, none of these teams really have done anything to warrant another season in the Premier League. Whether it was through a comedy of errors (Newcastle), colossal indifference (Sunderland), or incompetence in front of the net (Middlesbrough), these four have proven nothing more than cannon fodder for the rest of the league, yet two will live on.
And whichever two survive will likely find themselves in this space again next year.
Of the four, if Hull sticks around maybe the Tigers can make a move up the table. They'd get Jimmy Bullard for a full season, if he's healthy. Hull could add a bit more depth an poach a player or two from a relegated team or a Championship club and maybe they can consolidate and move upward. Yes, other than that brief stint at the start of the season, the Tigers weren't very good, but Phil Brown at least acts like a passable manager. The fact they weren't relegated weeks ago, like Derby County a year ago, is something of an accomplishment, right?
Sunderland? Meh. Just like Middlesbrough the clubs don't seem to have any sort of direction. Nor are they places that players are oozing to join. Sunderland's been a yo-yo club anyways and 'Boro have had the grim reaper's axe over their heads for years -- which makes that improbable run to the UEFA Cup final a few years ago seem all the more remarkable. Perhaps Steve McClaren wasn't such a terrible club coach after all.
Look at those two clubs. Is there anything that excites you? Seriously? Anything? Will one or two additions make a difference? A year ago Gareth Southgate figured Jérémie Aliadière, Martin Emnes and Didier Digard would make a difference.
As for Newcastle. You couldn't even make this season up if you tried. From the Allardyce quick sacking to the Joe Kinnear rants to now Alan Sherear?
Newcastle faces the abyss for the simple reason -- utter incompetence. Looking at the roster (of players that factored into the season) aside from keeper Steven Harper, Kevin Nolan and maybe Obi Martins how many others would start at another Premier League team. That includes the rotting corpse of the player that once was Michael Owen, too.
This club needs something, perhaps a brain isn't the right word, but something other than the identity of its devoted fans. At some point you have to draw the line between appeasing the fans and making smart moves. Hindsight is 20/20 but if Allardyce stuck around, the club would have figured out a way to grind out results -- look at Blackburn.
So in the end, it is what is it.
Two shitty teams live on, and in the televisions of millions of sets worldwide, while two slightly shittier teams disappear from our (hearts) and minds and possibly from existence, too.
Sunday
* Arsenal v. Stoke City -- Just a hunch, but Rory Delap isn't going to catch the Gunners off guard this time around. Amazingly, if the Potters sweep the season series, they could finish in the top half of the table. Nobody saw that coming. Underline nobody. ... Arsenal 3, Stoke 1
* Aston Villa v. Newcastle United -- (Live, Setanta, 11 a.m.) If you're Martin O'Neil, how do you motivate the club that a win here could mean the difference between an automatic spot in the Europa League group stages or facing a two-leg playoff with, likely, some club from Eastern Europe with 45-straight consonants in its name. I'm sure that rates with Ashley 'MIA' Young and Gabby Agbonlahor. Meanwhile, Newcastle needs no motivation -- it's win or die. At this point I'm not sure what is more stunning, the fact Newcastle only won seven games or the fact it actually could win that many. The Magpies might be able to score some goals, but how do they keep Villa off the board? The defense is, hard to say, worse that it was with Jean Alain-Boumsong and Titus Bramble. I like having Newcastle around, but nothing short of a miracle will save them here. ... Aston Villa 1, Newcastle United 1
* Blackburn v. West Brom -- Take a good, solid look Rovers. That could have been you. ... Blackburn 2, West Brom 2
* Fulham v. Everton -- Oddly enough, maybe the most intriguing game of the weekend. Fulham needs a point, at least, to ensure a place in the Europa League qualifying stages. Do the Cottagers even want that? It would upset Roy Hodgson's apple cart. It's a weird spot. This is the absolute peak for Fulham -- seventh place. Even if they bolster the squad for Europe, it'll mess with their set lineup. And if Hangeland leaves, they might end up in a relegation fight. (Unless Oguchi Onyewu, a rumored target, steps in seamlessly). Where else would a good season actually turn out to be bad for the future? Everton, on the other hand, need to fend off Aston Villa for the Europa League automatic spot (Again, if anyone wants it.) The Toffees also need to rest some guys ahead of the FA Cup final. Finally, this pits perhaps the two most impressive managing performances of the season betwen Roy Hodgson and David Moyes. ... Fulham 2, Everton 1
* Hull City v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Obviously everyone in Northeast England is having nightmares of the final season game two years ago when Manchester United sleptwalked through the match, allowing Carlos Tevez to save West Ham. Yet, isn't a second-choice United still a pretty formidable foe for Hull City? The Tigers had their magic last spring. It's not happening again. ... Hull City 0, Manchester United 1
* Liverpool v. Tottenham -- Even with a loss, Liverpool has second tied up, barring a Chelsea goal barrage. Spurs? Remember when they were the last club to notch a win. It happened. ... Liverpool 2, Spurs 0
* Manchester City v. Bolton -- Fun fact (for a pointless match) -- City has 18 losses -- which would put them in relegation territory, but they only have five draws. ... City 3, Bolton 1
* Sunderland v. Chelsea -- Sunderland will have it's fingers crossed that everybody else loses and form holds, because we know Chelsea isn't a team that takes games off ... or shows mercy. The Blues actually do have something to play for, as Nic Anelka needs a goal to be the sole top scorer in the league, assuming Ronaldo sits out for United. ... Sunderland 0, Chelsea 2
* West Ham v. Middlesbrough -- Wouldn't it just make sense that the team that showed the least fight and quality to remain the top flight will be the team that escapes -- Middlesbrough? And that we go through the same thing again next year like a 'Lost' time loop? ... West Ham 1, Middlesbrough 2
* Wigan Athletic v. Portsmouth -- Why not just a rugby match here and make everyone happy? ... Wigan 1, Portsmouth 0
Last week: 7-3
Season: 175-188
Labels: Prem Picks, Premier League, Soccer
At some point in time everything in the realm of comedy -- well the non-Dane Cooke comedy of the world -- veered toward the arena of irony. Call it the 'Seinfeld' effect.
That said, I doubt the PA man at Old Trafford was going that route when he began piping in Tina Turner's 'Simply the Best' through the stadium loudspeakers after Manchester United clinched the 2008-09 Premier League title after a sleep-inducing -- for me anyway -- 0-0 draw with Arsenal Saturday.
It's quite doubtful that man chose the song, hoping to conjure some laughes for those like me, who associate the treacly song with some classic David Brent material. See for yourself here since I'm against embedding for ebedding's sake.
I hate to crib from 'Saturday Night Live' of all places, but really Old Trafford? That's the best you got to celebrate? Tina Turner, 'We Are the Champions' and a couple decent M-U standbys. At least you didn't go the 'Celebration' route.
Long story short, the sports world needs better celebration music at all levels.
And yeah, the Red Devils are champs for the third time in a row.
As I write this late Sunday night I find myself somewhat drawing a blank about the Manchester United championship run. Yes, the Red Devils were consistent throughout and went about and probably went an entire season's worth of 'Lost' episodes without losing a game in the Premier League over the winter.
For whatever the reason, this campaign didn't jump off the page like last year's. Maybe it was because it was the third time around. Perhaps it was because Cristiano Ronaldo wasn't consistently as out-of-this-world on a weekly basis as he was last season.
United this year were essentially a machine, with the main pistons the twin monsters in the central defense of Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand. In short, barring a slip-up from either of those players, you weren't scoring on United this year.
In turn, of the 27 wins so far by United with a game at Hull to go, nine came by a 1-0 margin and another eight by one-goal. So it wasn't exactly like United were blowing doors off each weekend, they were simply getting results and only had that one rough spell when they lost back-to-back to Liverpool and Fulham.
And there's something comendable about that kind of team.
It doesn't exactly get me churning words out of my keyboard, though.
Credit Sir Alex Ferguson. He rotated his squad with aplomb, centering the weekly lineup around Vidic, Ferdinand, Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney. Granted, it's not tough when you have the option of going with either Michael Carrick or Anderson in the midfield or John O'Shea or Rafael. Or Giggs or Fletcher or Park or whomever. Fergie even coaxed magic out of Federico Macheda's three senior appearances.
Again, take this in the context of Manchester United is the biggest club in the world and has more money (even with the confounding debt scenario), but United opted for quality over quantity and put equal faith in youth for fresh legs.
Are you paying attention Real Madrid, et al?
***
I hate short-changing the relegation affair, but right now my head is spinning and thinking about all the permutations isn't going to do me any favors. Rest assured I'll break this out during the week, time permitting.
Really quickly, adios West Brom. We hardly knew ye. Party is at Roman Bednar's house, apparently.
* Maybe the summary of Newcastle's United plight -- Fabricio Colocinni seated next to Jonas Guitteriez on the bench in the second half of a 1-0 loss to Fulham at St. James. Tons of hair, no talent.
* Mark Schwarzer...I was wrong. He's got game.
* So does Clint Dempsey.
* Chelsea's new form-fitting 2009-10 kit? Err...aren't most Chelsea fans, fat dudes with shaved heads and fat guts? Should be fun.
* Tottenham vs. City, first half, Spurs could have had ten goal -- nine from Jermain Defoe.
* Everyone assumes that today's Portsmouth/Sunderland will be a snoozer. Watch it turn into a thriller.
* In the fantasy game, Kent Darcy's La Academia is doing a victory lap with a week remaining. Unlike Manchester United, his result next week doesn't effect the relegation maelstrom. Penultimate top round honors go to Ian Podraza's Riffs and Bridges FC with 80 points -- playing himself to fifth place and a mythological fantasy Europa League spot. An all-around solid lineup led by Steven Gerrard, Ricardo Fuller and Vidic got the job done.
That's all I got for this morning. Apologies if it feels like I'm going out with about as much gusto as Aston Villa.
That said, I doubt the PA man at Old Trafford was going that route when he began piping in Tina Turner's 'Simply the Best' through the stadium loudspeakers after Manchester United clinched the 2008-09 Premier League title after a sleep-inducing -- for me anyway -- 0-0 draw with Arsenal Saturday.
It's quite doubtful that man chose the song, hoping to conjure some laughes for those like me, who associate the treacly song with some classic David Brent material. See for yourself here since I'm against embedding for ebedding's sake.
I hate to crib from 'Saturday Night Live' of all places, but really Old Trafford? That's the best you got to celebrate? Tina Turner, 'We Are the Champions' and a couple decent M-U standbys. At least you didn't go the 'Celebration' route.
Long story short, the sports world needs better celebration music at all levels.
And yeah, the Red Devils are champs for the third time in a row.
As I write this late Sunday night I find myself somewhat drawing a blank about the Manchester United championship run. Yes, the Red Devils were consistent throughout and went about and probably went an entire season's worth of 'Lost' episodes without losing a game in the Premier League over the winter.
For whatever the reason, this campaign didn't jump off the page like last year's. Maybe it was because it was the third time around. Perhaps it was because Cristiano Ronaldo wasn't consistently as out-of-this-world on a weekly basis as he was last season.
United this year were essentially a machine, with the main pistons the twin monsters in the central defense of Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand. In short, barring a slip-up from either of those players, you weren't scoring on United this year.
In turn, of the 27 wins so far by United with a game at Hull to go, nine came by a 1-0 margin and another eight by one-goal. So it wasn't exactly like United were blowing doors off each weekend, they were simply getting results and only had that one rough spell when they lost back-to-back to Liverpool and Fulham.
And there's something comendable about that kind of team.
It doesn't exactly get me churning words out of my keyboard, though.
Credit Sir Alex Ferguson. He rotated his squad with aplomb, centering the weekly lineup around Vidic, Ferdinand, Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney. Granted, it's not tough when you have the option of going with either Michael Carrick or Anderson in the midfield or John O'Shea or Rafael. Or Giggs or Fletcher or Park or whomever. Fergie even coaxed magic out of Federico Macheda's three senior appearances.
Again, take this in the context of Manchester United is the biggest club in the world and has more money (even with the confounding debt scenario), but United opted for quality over quantity and put equal faith in youth for fresh legs.
Are you paying attention Real Madrid, et al?
***
I hate short-changing the relegation affair, but right now my head is spinning and thinking about all the permutations isn't going to do me any favors. Rest assured I'll break this out during the week, time permitting.
Really quickly, adios West Brom. We hardly knew ye. Party is at Roman Bednar's house, apparently.
* Maybe the summary of Newcastle's United plight -- Fabricio Colocinni seated next to Jonas Guitteriez on the bench in the second half of a 1-0 loss to Fulham at St. James. Tons of hair, no talent.
* Mark Schwarzer...I was wrong. He's got game.
* So does Clint Dempsey.
* Chelsea's new form-fitting 2009-10 kit? Err...aren't most Chelsea fans, fat dudes with shaved heads and fat guts? Should be fun.
* Tottenham vs. City, first half, Spurs could have had ten goal -- nine from Jermain Defoe.
* Everyone assumes that today's Portsmouth/Sunderland will be a snoozer. Watch it turn into a thriller.
* In the fantasy game, Kent Darcy's La Academia is doing a victory lap with a week remaining. Unlike Manchester United, his result next week doesn't effect the relegation maelstrom. Penultimate top round honors go to Ian Podraza's Riffs and Bridges FC with 80 points -- playing himself to fifth place and a mythological fantasy Europa League spot. An all-around solid lineup led by Steven Gerrard, Ricardo Fuller and Vidic got the job done.
That's all I got for this morning. Apologies if it feels like I'm going out with about as much gusto as Aston Villa.
Labels: Monday recaps, Premier League, Soccer
Well campers, so much for any late drama at the top.
It's still conceivably possible that Manchester United could go ass-up and Liverpool sneaks in to steal the title. It all comes down to Arsenal. Can the Gunners atone for the Champions League knockout and make Manchester United's life miserable?
Anyway, I'm pressed for time to write this. Since there's no drama at the top of the Premiership, look to Der Motherland if you want a title chase.
Five teams -- Wolfsburg, Bayern, Hertha Berlin, Stuttgart and maybe even Martin Jol's Hamburg -- have a chance to claim the big glided German plate with two rounds of fixtures left.
Meanwhile, there are five teams that still are fighting off the death sentence that is relegation to the League Championship -- Sunderland, Newcastle, Hull, Middlesbrough and amazingly West Brom. I'm personally saying Portsmouth is safe on 38 points.
Is it just me, or is this year's relegation fight less dramatic than years past since the teams involved in it have all be pretty lousy all season and haven't done anything that warrants their inclusion in what's considered the best league in the world? Maybe Newcastle, just for it's ongoing craziness around the club should stick around, but everybody else? You won't really be missed or forgotten.
Saturday
* Manchester United v. Arsenal -- (Live, Setanta, 7:45 a.m.) A draw and United pop the champagne and dust off the silly hats. Arsenal pretty much was shit-stomped by Chelsea last week. So do the Gunners even care anymore at this point? One thing to consider is that United's defense has been prone to errors and lapses as of late. ... United 2, Arsenal 1
* Bolton v. Hull City -- So what's the bigger surprise: that Hull City remained in the top half of the table for the first half of the season? or that the Tigers are now back at the bottom where we expected preseason? ... Bolton 1, Hull City 1
* Everton v. West Ham -- The Toffees best hope their run to the FA Cup doesn't follow the trajectory of West Ham's from 2006. ... Everton 2, West Ham 0
* Middlesbrough v. Aston Villa -- Middlesbrough likely needs to win both its games to have a chance. Considering Aston Villa mentally checked out in February, they should be up for the game. Too bad the 'Boro attack has been about as potent as one of Jack Donaghy's would-be fathers from last week's '30 Rock'. You know, the one with the gruesome war injury in a very sensitive spot. ... Middlesbrough 1, Aston Villa 0
* Newcastle United v. Fulham -- (Live, Setanta, 10 a.m.) Let me say this. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd be sure to order the 2008-09 Newcastle United team DVD. Even though Fulham is much improved, there are no excuses here Alan Shearer. Show some guts and get the win. ... Newcastle United 2, Fulham 1
* Stoke City v. Wigan Athletic -- Like teams looking in the mirror. Maybe Tony Pulis stole Paul Jewell's playbook from when the Latics were promoted. ... Stoke 1, Wigan 0
* Tottenham v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Spurs will probably spend like their usual drunken sailor selves over the summer. Meanwhile City will spend like Sheiks, which is probably better, I think. ... Spurs 3, City 1
Sunday
* West Brom v. Liverpool -- (Live, Setanta, 8:45 a.m.) How can you figure this game out? You can't. How do you figure this game probably means more at the kickoff to West Brom than Liverpool. You'd think Liverpool zombie-shuffles through this one, but Steven Gerrard has too much pride for that. ... West Brom 0, Liverpool 2
* Chelsea v. Blackburn -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Meh. ... Chelsea 3, Blackburn 0
Monday
* Portsmouth v. Sunderland -- (Live, Setanta, 2:45 p.m.) These two teams down the stretch have combined for about as much gusto as a pack of early 1990s Gen-Xers (remember that term) at a Bjork concert. Nothing personal, but as I've said for weeks, Sunderland has probably done the least this season to show it belongs. ... Portsmouth 1, Sunderland 0
Last round: 5-5
Season: 168-185
It's still conceivably possible that Manchester United could go ass-up and Liverpool sneaks in to steal the title. It all comes down to Arsenal. Can the Gunners atone for the Champions League knockout and make Manchester United's life miserable?
Anyway, I'm pressed for time to write this. Since there's no drama at the top of the Premiership, look to Der Motherland if you want a title chase.
Five teams -- Wolfsburg, Bayern, Hertha Berlin, Stuttgart and maybe even Martin Jol's Hamburg -- have a chance to claim the big glided German plate with two rounds of fixtures left.
Meanwhile, there are five teams that still are fighting off the death sentence that is relegation to the League Championship -- Sunderland, Newcastle, Hull, Middlesbrough and amazingly West Brom. I'm personally saying Portsmouth is safe on 38 points.
Is it just me, or is this year's relegation fight less dramatic than years past since the teams involved in it have all be pretty lousy all season and haven't done anything that warrants their inclusion in what's considered the best league in the world? Maybe Newcastle, just for it's ongoing craziness around the club should stick around, but everybody else? You won't really be missed or forgotten.
Saturday
* Manchester United v. Arsenal -- (Live, Setanta, 7:45 a.m.) A draw and United pop the champagne and dust off the silly hats. Arsenal pretty much was shit-stomped by Chelsea last week. So do the Gunners even care anymore at this point? One thing to consider is that United's defense has been prone to errors and lapses as of late. ... United 2, Arsenal 1
* Bolton v. Hull City -- So what's the bigger surprise: that Hull City remained in the top half of the table for the first half of the season? or that the Tigers are now back at the bottom where we expected preseason? ... Bolton 1, Hull City 1
* Everton v. West Ham -- The Toffees best hope their run to the FA Cup doesn't follow the trajectory of West Ham's from 2006. ... Everton 2, West Ham 0
* Middlesbrough v. Aston Villa -- Middlesbrough likely needs to win both its games to have a chance. Considering Aston Villa mentally checked out in February, they should be up for the game. Too bad the 'Boro attack has been about as potent as one of Jack Donaghy's would-be fathers from last week's '30 Rock'. You know, the one with the gruesome war injury in a very sensitive spot. ... Middlesbrough 1, Aston Villa 0
* Newcastle United v. Fulham -- (Live, Setanta, 10 a.m.) Let me say this. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd be sure to order the 2008-09 Newcastle United team DVD. Even though Fulham is much improved, there are no excuses here Alan Shearer. Show some guts and get the win. ... Newcastle United 2, Fulham 1
* Stoke City v. Wigan Athletic -- Like teams looking in the mirror. Maybe Tony Pulis stole Paul Jewell's playbook from when the Latics were promoted. ... Stoke 1, Wigan 0
* Tottenham v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Spurs will probably spend like their usual drunken sailor selves over the summer. Meanwhile City will spend like Sheiks, which is probably better, I think. ... Spurs 3, City 1
Sunday
* West Brom v. Liverpool -- (Live, Setanta, 8:45 a.m.) How can you figure this game out? You can't. How do you figure this game probably means more at the kickoff to West Brom than Liverpool. You'd think Liverpool zombie-shuffles through this one, but Steven Gerrard has too much pride for that. ... West Brom 0, Liverpool 2
* Chelsea v. Blackburn -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Meh. ... Chelsea 3, Blackburn 0
Monday
* Portsmouth v. Sunderland -- (Live, Setanta, 2:45 p.m.) These two teams down the stretch have combined for about as much gusto as a pack of early 1990s Gen-Xers (remember that term) at a Bjork concert. Nothing personal, but as I've said for weeks, Sunderland has probably done the least this season to show it belongs. ... Portsmouth 1, Sunderland 0
Last round: 5-5
Season: 168-185
Labels: Prem Picks, Premier League, Soccer
Don't you just love how the British soccer media tends to obsess over things, eventually beating any rumor or story into the ground?
Maybe a lot of this has to do with the fact that unlike their brethren across the pond, Brit journos don't exactly have unlimited access to players on a day-in, day-out basis. Granted, it's not as if most pro athletes have anything interesting to say. In fact, the best quote of all time in my mind comes from noted basketball philosopher Rasheed Wallace, who boycotted the Portland media and would only provide this soundbite -- "Both teams played hard."
Getting back to the topic, it seems over in England any statement made from a player is treated like is Moses speaking from on high. Count that double when it's a player's "agent." (Agent, hanger-on, you tell me.)
So this boils down to Carlos Tevez, who earlier this week made statements about how he wanted to leave Manchester United after the season because he didn't feel quite like "family."
Ironic, or is just coincidence, that ol' Hulk Hair scored perhaps the most important goal of the Red Devils' season, with an audacious, back-to-the-goal flick that got Manchester United level 1-1 with Wigan Athletic, where they eventually won 2-1 to take a six-point lead over Liverpool with two matches remaining.
Lately I've been thinking about Tevez and what his game brings to the table, since it's likely somebody is going to pay him and his handlers a ton of loot (perhaps in large sacks labled "$$$" for full effect) over the summer.
My wonder is in a big-time, physical European league is Tevez capable of being a No. 1 striker? The kind of player a club can count on for 20+ goals across all competitions. Not to knock Tevez, but could he carry an elite team against other teams of that ilk, or would he make his hay against the bottom feeders and also-rans?
We did see him single handily keep West Ham United afloat a couple seasons ago with a string of stunning displays down the stretch. Then again, would be able to keep the intensity and energy level high in a starting role for 40-odd matches?
If you boil it down, Tevez wouldn't be the most technically gifted player of all time. Yet he ruthlessly effective as a high-energy, never-stopping player -- a wild boar if you will. (Note, a highly underrated killing machine in nature.)
I just wonder at the highest level of the world game, can you place your eggs in the basket of a grinder like Tevez, or do you need a player, who might not show up every game but has that special touch of god-given class?
Given all this, isn't his role as the third choice/do-it-all substitute at Manchester United the perfect place for the Argentine? Does Sir Alex Ferguson see that instead of chasing after Karim Benzema, or whomever the hot striker prospect is over the summer, he has the perfect compliment for Wayne Rooney and Dmitar Berbatov right under his nose? (SAF, did say he wants him to remain at the club following Wednesday's win.)
Maybe the question is the opposite -- doesn't Tevez realize that he's in no better situation that at Old Trafford? He's played in 29 games this year with 17 starts, that's not exactly riding the pine like say, Eddie Johnson at Fulham.
Players always want to head for greener pastures and as they say, 'the grass is always greener'. Yet, doesn't Tevez realize what he has at Manchester United? It is, after all, sort of the biggest club in the entire world, you know.
It's sort of like if midway through the run of 'Seinfeld' Michael Richards (try to forgot the tragic fork comments) decided to play hardball and bolt to start his own show. Was there anything wrong with playing behind Jerry and George? There were already plenty of laughs to go around, just like there are always goals to be found at Old Trafford.
Tevez and Manchester United are the perfect fit. Why don't both parties see this?
Now, I just wonder if Tevez would be Kramerica Industries material?
***
One other thing, big ups to Steve Bruce for unearthing Hugo Rodallega. Every time I've seen him play I walk away impressed. How is it that Bruce is the only manager in the Premier League able to get quality from players from non-Big Two South American and Central America?
Rodallega was plucked out of the Mexican League for peanuts and seems like a quality player.
Guess when you're Wigan you have to show at the proverbial $1 store and hope to get lucky.
Maybe a lot of this has to do with the fact that unlike their brethren across the pond, Brit journos don't exactly have unlimited access to players on a day-in, day-out basis. Granted, it's not as if most pro athletes have anything interesting to say. In fact, the best quote of all time in my mind comes from noted basketball philosopher Rasheed Wallace, who boycotted the Portland media and would only provide this soundbite -- "Both teams played hard."
Getting back to the topic, it seems over in England any statement made from a player is treated like is Moses speaking from on high. Count that double when it's a player's "agent." (Agent, hanger-on, you tell me.)
So this boils down to Carlos Tevez, who earlier this week made statements about how he wanted to leave Manchester United after the season because he didn't feel quite like "family."
Ironic, or is just coincidence, that ol' Hulk Hair scored perhaps the most important goal of the Red Devils' season, with an audacious, back-to-the-goal flick that got Manchester United level 1-1 with Wigan Athletic, where they eventually won 2-1 to take a six-point lead over Liverpool with two matches remaining.
Lately I've been thinking about Tevez and what his game brings to the table, since it's likely somebody is going to pay him and his handlers a ton of loot (perhaps in large sacks labled "$$$" for full effect) over the summer.
My wonder is in a big-time, physical European league is Tevez capable of being a No. 1 striker? The kind of player a club can count on for 20+ goals across all competitions. Not to knock Tevez, but could he carry an elite team against other teams of that ilk, or would he make his hay against the bottom feeders and also-rans?
We did see him single handily keep West Ham United afloat a couple seasons ago with a string of stunning displays down the stretch. Then again, would be able to keep the intensity and energy level high in a starting role for 40-odd matches?
If you boil it down, Tevez wouldn't be the most technically gifted player of all time. Yet he ruthlessly effective as a high-energy, never-stopping player -- a wild boar if you will. (Note, a highly underrated killing machine in nature.)
I just wonder at the highest level of the world game, can you place your eggs in the basket of a grinder like Tevez, or do you need a player, who might not show up every game but has that special touch of god-given class?
Given all this, isn't his role as the third choice/do-it-all substitute at Manchester United the perfect place for the Argentine? Does Sir Alex Ferguson see that instead of chasing after Karim Benzema, or whomever the hot striker prospect is over the summer, he has the perfect compliment for Wayne Rooney and Dmitar Berbatov right under his nose? (SAF, did say he wants him to remain at the club following Wednesday's win.)
Maybe the question is the opposite -- doesn't Tevez realize that he's in no better situation that at Old Trafford? He's played in 29 games this year with 17 starts, that's not exactly riding the pine like say, Eddie Johnson at Fulham.
Players always want to head for greener pastures and as they say, 'the grass is always greener'. Yet, doesn't Tevez realize what he has at Manchester United? It is, after all, sort of the biggest club in the entire world, you know.
It's sort of like if midway through the run of 'Seinfeld' Michael Richards (try to forgot the tragic fork comments) decided to play hardball and bolt to start his own show. Was there anything wrong with playing behind Jerry and George? There were already plenty of laughs to go around, just like there are always goals to be found at Old Trafford.
Tevez and Manchester United are the perfect fit. Why don't both parties see this?
Now, I just wonder if Tevez would be Kramerica Industries material?
***
One other thing, big ups to Steve Bruce for unearthing Hugo Rodallega. Every time I've seen him play I walk away impressed. How is it that Bruce is the only manager in the Premier League able to get quality from players from non-Big Two South American and Central America?
Rodallega was plucked out of the Mexican League for peanuts and seems like a quality player.
Guess when you're Wigan you have to show at the proverbial $1 store and hope to get lucky.
Labels: carlos tevez, manchester United, Premier League, Soccer
It probably won't come until Wednesday night, but it's safe to say Sir Alex Ferguson has his favorite trophy engraver on speed dial alert.
Barring Wigan Athletic pulling off a stunning 180 over their perennial bullies, like the Lambdas at the Adams College Greek Games circa, the 2008-09 title chase is over. But we knew that already, didn't we?
Manchester United -- even with the press trying to drum up a Carlos Tevez controversy -- are going to win the Premier League. The potential pratfall against Manchester City was avoided with a standard 2-0 win Sunday morning.
While the title chase fizzled out, the relegation chase is getting crazier that a WWF 'Royal Rumble.' Just when you thought West Brom was flipped over the top ropes, they're pulling a Ric Flair-type miracle.
West Brom does host Liverpool on Sunday. By that point Manchester United might have already clinched the title, so who knows how Rafa Benitez inspires his charges for a meaningless affair in the Midlands? The Baggies end at Blackburn, which is all but safe, on the final game of the season. It's not impossible, but they do have the worst goal differential when it comes to breaking ties.
If the Baggies survive what does it even mean for the Premier League as a whole? West Brom has won a whopping three games in the 2009 calendar year.
On top of that what have Hull City, Sunderland, Newcastle United, Middlesbrough and maybe even Portsmouth shown to the worldwide television audience this season that they deserve to call themselves Premier League clubs?
As I've been writing every week lately, it's not even much of a fight. It's more of a battle of who can suck the least. It's like the old Mag Magazine feature -- "You're a winner and a loser."
At least Newcastle United and Middlesbrough have something to play for in Monday afternoon's insanely important Tyne-Tea derby.
Why I think of this ... -- Wouldn't it be fun to have a team of XI Wayne Rooney's running around. He's essentially playing every position for Manchester United these days. Plus we saw in those old Eric Cantona 'Joga Tv' ads, that Rooney Tunes enjoys playing goalie.
The question loyal reader 30f posted during the first discussion of this scenario, would a team of Rooneys even be able to make it out of the dressing room tunnel?
Another one -- The point of Dmitar Berbatov's string headband? I'll leave it at that.
Miscellania -- Nice goals by Diomansy Kamara for Fulham, though he prolly blinded Aston Villa keeper Brad Friedel with his chesthair. Maybe other teams will copy the Fulham blueprint, whatever that might be. ... Robert Green for England? Nice penalty stop on Gerard, but you're not going to deny the Scouse Lord in that spot, are you? ... Chelsea, that was a very "grr" performance against the Arsenal pups. I'll say it again, Chelsea have the most lethal, cold-blooded team in the Prem and really ought to be kicking themselves for whatever backroom drama Scolari caused, which in the end ruined the Blues' season. ... Speaking of Chelsea, here's a thought from the Ironic Steel Salesman via Facebook :
Good question.
Fantasy Team O' the week -- Honors fall to oldenballs run by Erik Kriebel with 64 points thanks to 28 points from Gerard. At the top, the victory lap is in full effect for La Academia.
Barring Wigan Athletic pulling off a stunning 180 over their perennial bullies, like the Lambdas at the Adams College Greek Games circa, the 2008-09 title chase is over. But we knew that already, didn't we?
Manchester United -- even with the press trying to drum up a Carlos Tevez controversy -- are going to win the Premier League. The potential pratfall against Manchester City was avoided with a standard 2-0 win Sunday morning.
While the title chase fizzled out, the relegation chase is getting crazier that a WWF 'Royal Rumble.' Just when you thought West Brom was flipped over the top ropes, they're pulling a Ric Flair-type miracle.
West Brom does host Liverpool on Sunday. By that point Manchester United might have already clinched the title, so who knows how Rafa Benitez inspires his charges for a meaningless affair in the Midlands? The Baggies end at Blackburn, which is all but safe, on the final game of the season. It's not impossible, but they do have the worst goal differential when it comes to breaking ties.
If the Baggies survive what does it even mean for the Premier League as a whole? West Brom has won a whopping three games in the 2009 calendar year.
On top of that what have Hull City, Sunderland, Newcastle United, Middlesbrough and maybe even Portsmouth shown to the worldwide television audience this season that they deserve to call themselves Premier League clubs?
As I've been writing every week lately, it's not even much of a fight. It's more of a battle of who can suck the least. It's like the old Mag Magazine feature -- "You're a winner and a loser."
At least Newcastle United and Middlesbrough have something to play for in Monday afternoon's insanely important Tyne-Tea derby.
Why I think of this ... -- Wouldn't it be fun to have a team of XI Wayne Rooney's running around. He's essentially playing every position for Manchester United these days. Plus we saw in those old Eric Cantona 'Joga Tv' ads, that Rooney Tunes enjoys playing goalie.
The question loyal reader 30f posted during the first discussion of this scenario, would a team of Rooneys even be able to make it out of the dressing room tunnel?
Another one -- The point of Dmitar Berbatov's string headband? I'll leave it at that.
Miscellania -- Nice goals by Diomansy Kamara for Fulham, though he prolly blinded Aston Villa keeper Brad Friedel with his chesthair. Maybe other teams will copy the Fulham blueprint, whatever that might be. ... Robert Green for England? Nice penalty stop on Gerard, but you're not going to deny the Scouse Lord in that spot, are you? ... Chelsea, that was a very "grr" performance against the Arsenal pups. I'll say it again, Chelsea have the most lethal, cold-blooded team in the Prem and really ought to be kicking themselves for whatever backroom drama Scolari caused, which in the end ruined the Blues' season. ... Speaking of Chelsea, here's a thought from the Ironic Steel Salesman via Facebook :
"How is it that Fabregas gets off hate-free by everyone? Chelsea players are (rightly) called out for being jerks, but Cesc is a jackass of the highest order. He's dirty, he bitches at the officials, he's had two spitting incidents, stomped on Cole when he first came back to the Emirates...does he rescue kittens with feline leukemia or something?"
Good question.
Fantasy Team O' the week -- Honors fall to oldenballs run by Erik Kriebel with 64 points thanks to 28 points from Gerard. At the top, the victory lap is in full effect for La Academia.
Labels: Monday recaps, Premier League, Soccer
The good news, Tom Henning Øvrebø won't be refereeing this weekend in the Premier League.
The bad news, he's on the short list for the 2010 World Cup.
Something I thought about over the week because of some of the Premier League fantasy talk on Monday's post, was how to make the game good.
Back in 1995 I first started doing fantasy sports, starting with baseball and morphing into football, basketball and yes, even NHL hockey.
In those days I played with three high school friends in a four-man league. We chose our teams based off a salary list of players printed in the Sporting News. We had a salary cap. We did our own stats, or I'd do them with the weekly printed edition of USA Today.
I kept all the stats in a folder adorned with photos cut out of Sport magazine.
The point of all this, aside from name checking defunct publications? That's sort of where I feel we're at right now for Premier League fantasy or soccer fantasy games in general. The primitive stages.
Considering America is the forefront for fantasy sports, I feel it's our duty to come up with a system to tweak and perfect the current system.
As stated in some of the comments, winning the official Premier League game basically boiled down to finding a way to keep Cristiano Ronaldo and Frank Lampard on the same team under the salary cap. There's some fun in there and hell, I was loving the Amir Zaki ride while it lasted ... until October.
Yet everything else, the player pool, the salaries, even the stats themselves seem lacking. The only somewhat innovative idea seems to be the captain, and even that seems nothing more than a gimmick.
Why can't there be a format somewhere where we can draft a team of 15 in a league with say 10 teams and do it like NFL fantasy each weekend? Match the teams up head-to-head and either you get a win or a loss. There wouldn't be the same player on multiple teams.
I'd guess there enough stars to go around so everyone is on a near level playing field -- Ronaldo, Lampard, Gerrard, Torres, Anelka, Robinho, Barry, Agbonlahor, etc.
After paying attention the last couple years, I like the idea how Yahoo! does the game, charting things like crosses and fouls won, etc. My only beef there is that doesn't seem to be an universal chart for where they get their stats.
Bottom line here, we're about two decades into the fantasy sports boom and there's got to be a better way to do fantasy soccer than how it's currently constituted.
Your thoughts are always welcome. We can build on this!
Saturday
* Blackburn v. Portsmouth -- Win here for either team means a sigh of relief, though what's from stopping a little 'wink-wink' let's play for a draw scenario? ... Blackburn 2, Portsmouth 0
* Bolton v. Sunderland -- Remember when Bolton seems the preseason odds-on favorite to get the drop? Didn't happen, though the Trotters season was about as forgettable as they come. As for Sunderland, maybe we ought to credit Roy Keane for his foresight, even if it turns out to be cutting and running. His collection of misfit toys isn't working. Where is the leader that is going to pull Sunderland up by the scruff and keep them in the league? ... Bolton 1, Sunderland 1
* Everton v. Spurs -- (Live, FSC 10 a.m.) Everton could take it easy and rest guys for the FA Cup, but the club is only two points behind Aston Villa for fifth. That's something, at least. As for Tottenham, can they make the leap for at least challenge for the Top Four next season? There are puzzle pieces in place and you know Harry Redknapp is going to wheel and deal over the summer. The one problem I see with Spurs, they have oodles of "B+" players, but not a lot, if any, "A"s. ... Everton 1, Spurs 0
* Fulham v. Aston Villa -- (Live, Setanta, 10 a.m.) So if you're Fulham, look across the aisle at Aston Villa. Do you really want to get stuck in that second tier Europa/UEFA thing-a-ma-jig? Do you really want to take on more players to fill out your squad for an afterthought event? Then again, Villa might tank this match for the very same reason to avoid it next year. ... Fulham 1, Aston Villa 1
* Hull City v. Stoke City -- Hull were the early season darlings, but quietly Stoke stole the Tigers mojo and became a safe, steady team, albeit in the Wigan Athletic mode of general blah-ness. If Stoke spend a little money to sure up the defense and add a little more to the attack (let's be honest, Ricardo Fuller isn't getting the job done again) then maybe the Potters and Tony Pulis stick around for a couple seasons. ... Hull City 1, Stoke City 1
* West Brom v. Wigan Athletic -- It's really got to burn the Baggies asses that Wolves and Birmingham are coming up and they are going down. ... West Brom 0, Wigan 0
* West Ham v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) I say it every week, I can't figure out how West Ham is in seventh place. The Irons have won two games in a row three times. That's something, right? Liverpool, your mission if you chose to accept it. Win at Upton Park and put a little pressure on Manchester United. ... West Ham 1, Liverpool 2
Sunday
* Manchester United v. Manchester City -- (Live, Setanta, 8:30 a.m.) In the last couple years City have been a severe thorn in United's side. It would be classic City for them to somehow upset the apple cart right here, wouldn't it? If this game weren't at Old Trafford, the upset might be in the cards. Considering that City's imported mercenaries likely give less than two shits about this longstanding derby, they'll be more concerned with booking holiday vacations than stymieing the Red Devils on their way to their third straight title. I'll be getting up to watch either way. ... Manchester United 3, City 1
* Arsenal v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) If you've ever wanted to watch a match played between zombies, this one might come close. ... Arsenal 2, Chelsea 1
Monday
* Newcastle United v. Middlesbrough -- Just a thought, but perhaps it'll be a good idea to have some extra security on hand at St. James for this one. Fans ripping up tickets, throwing debris on the field, firecrackers ... you name it, anything seems possible. The one thing to factor here is that the Magpies will know their fate going into this game and if Hull City loses, they can jump out of the drop zone with three points. Maybe Obi Martins can take this match over or at least produce something spectacular. ... Newcastle United 1, Middlesbrough 0
Last week: 7-3
Season: 163-180
The bad news, he's on the short list for the 2010 World Cup.
Something I thought about over the week because of some of the Premier League fantasy talk on Monday's post, was how to make the game good.
Back in 1995 I first started doing fantasy sports, starting with baseball and morphing into football, basketball and yes, even NHL hockey.
In those days I played with three high school friends in a four-man league. We chose our teams based off a salary list of players printed in the Sporting News. We had a salary cap. We did our own stats, or I'd do them with the weekly printed edition of USA Today.
I kept all the stats in a folder adorned with photos cut out of Sport magazine.
The point of all this, aside from name checking defunct publications? That's sort of where I feel we're at right now for Premier League fantasy or soccer fantasy games in general. The primitive stages.
Considering America is the forefront for fantasy sports, I feel it's our duty to come up with a system to tweak and perfect the current system.
As stated in some of the comments, winning the official Premier League game basically boiled down to finding a way to keep Cristiano Ronaldo and Frank Lampard on the same team under the salary cap. There's some fun in there and hell, I was loving the Amir Zaki ride while it lasted ... until October.
Yet everything else, the player pool, the salaries, even the stats themselves seem lacking. The only somewhat innovative idea seems to be the captain, and even that seems nothing more than a gimmick.
Why can't there be a format somewhere where we can draft a team of 15 in a league with say 10 teams and do it like NFL fantasy each weekend? Match the teams up head-to-head and either you get a win or a loss. There wouldn't be the same player on multiple teams.
I'd guess there enough stars to go around so everyone is on a near level playing field -- Ronaldo, Lampard, Gerrard, Torres, Anelka, Robinho, Barry, Agbonlahor, etc.
After paying attention the last couple years, I like the idea how Yahoo! does the game, charting things like crosses and fouls won, etc. My only beef there is that doesn't seem to be an universal chart for where they get their stats.
Bottom line here, we're about two decades into the fantasy sports boom and there's got to be a better way to do fantasy soccer than how it's currently constituted.
Your thoughts are always welcome. We can build on this!
Saturday
* Blackburn v. Portsmouth -- Win here for either team means a sigh of relief, though what's from stopping a little 'wink-wink' let's play for a draw scenario? ... Blackburn 2, Portsmouth 0
* Bolton v. Sunderland -- Remember when Bolton seems the preseason odds-on favorite to get the drop? Didn't happen, though the Trotters season was about as forgettable as they come. As for Sunderland, maybe we ought to credit Roy Keane for his foresight, even if it turns out to be cutting and running. His collection of misfit toys isn't working. Where is the leader that is going to pull Sunderland up by the scruff and keep them in the league? ... Bolton 1, Sunderland 1
* Everton v. Spurs -- (Live, FSC 10 a.m.) Everton could take it easy and rest guys for the FA Cup, but the club is only two points behind Aston Villa for fifth. That's something, at least. As for Tottenham, can they make the leap for at least challenge for the Top Four next season? There are puzzle pieces in place and you know Harry Redknapp is going to wheel and deal over the summer. The one problem I see with Spurs, they have oodles of "B+" players, but not a lot, if any, "A"s. ... Everton 1, Spurs 0
* Fulham v. Aston Villa -- (Live, Setanta, 10 a.m.) So if you're Fulham, look across the aisle at Aston Villa. Do you really want to get stuck in that second tier Europa/UEFA thing-a-ma-jig? Do you really want to take on more players to fill out your squad for an afterthought event? Then again, Villa might tank this match for the very same reason to avoid it next year. ... Fulham 1, Aston Villa 1
* Hull City v. Stoke City -- Hull were the early season darlings, but quietly Stoke stole the Tigers mojo and became a safe, steady team, albeit in the Wigan Athletic mode of general blah-ness. If Stoke spend a little money to sure up the defense and add a little more to the attack (let's be honest, Ricardo Fuller isn't getting the job done again) then maybe the Potters and Tony Pulis stick around for a couple seasons. ... Hull City 1, Stoke City 1
* West Brom v. Wigan Athletic -- It's really got to burn the Baggies asses that Wolves and Birmingham are coming up and they are going down. ... West Brom 0, Wigan 0
* West Ham v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) I say it every week, I can't figure out how West Ham is in seventh place. The Irons have won two games in a row three times. That's something, right? Liverpool, your mission if you chose to accept it. Win at Upton Park and put a little pressure on Manchester United. ... West Ham 1, Liverpool 2
Sunday
* Manchester United v. Manchester City -- (Live, Setanta, 8:30 a.m.) In the last couple years City have been a severe thorn in United's side. It would be classic City for them to somehow upset the apple cart right here, wouldn't it? If this game weren't at Old Trafford, the upset might be in the cards. Considering that City's imported mercenaries likely give less than two shits about this longstanding derby, they'll be more concerned with booking holiday vacations than stymieing the Red Devils on their way to their third straight title. I'll be getting up to watch either way. ... Manchester United 3, City 1
* Arsenal v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) If you've ever wanted to watch a match played between zombies, this one might come close. ... Arsenal 2, Chelsea 1
Monday
* Newcastle United v. Middlesbrough -- Just a thought, but perhaps it'll be a good idea to have some extra security on hand at St. James for this one. Fans ripping up tickets, throwing debris on the field, firecrackers ... you name it, anything seems possible. The one thing to factor here is that the Magpies will know their fate going into this game and if Hull City loses, they can jump out of the drop zone with three points. Maybe Obi Martins can take this match over or at least produce something spectacular. ... Newcastle United 1, Middlesbrough 0
Last week: 7-3
Season: 163-180
Labels: Prem Picks, Premier League, Soccer
What a world we live in. It's the future, man. Not exactly the 'Jetsons' with talking robot maids (with sass) and food pills, but pretty darn close.
I was able to watch the first half of Cheslea 1, Barcelona 1 on television. Mind you, this is a game in England and I watch it live in the United States.
Next, I'm able to follow play-by-play, minute-by-minute updates of the second half at a high school baseball field via my cell phone.
Finally, due to the magic of DVRs I'm able to rewatch the second half I missed.
And for good measure the YouTubes had the Andres Iniesta goal posted shortly after the fulltime whistle, pending the inevitable UEFA copyright claim.
Anyways, some game, huh?
First and foremost, don't take this as straight-out Chelsea hate, but nobody wanted to see Manchester United/Chelsea -- Italian Style. And please, this wasn't a UEFA conspiracy pulled off by Michel Platini. Not even the insidious David Stern could pull off a hoodwink of that magnitude.
Basically, we saw that match already last year and it went to kick. Meh. Manchester United/Barcelona is simply more appealing. Fact.
One thing Wednesday's craziness at Stamford Bridge affirmed, why people like me loathe Chelsea. The displays during the final, waning minutes from captain caveman Michael Ballack was deplorable. The lack of class throughout from Didier Drogba is painful to watch. Even John Terry got in the ref's face. What's the point? Talk about sore losers.
And let's get down on Drogba. Chelsea fans want to throw all their anger at Norwegian ref Tom Henning Øvrebø. Fine with me. Do it. But reserve some for the Ivorian striker, who once again cost the team at chance at the trophy with the big ears.
Last week at the Camp Nou he blew a chance to give Chelsea an away goal.
Wednesday he had a glided chance on a plate in the 52nd minute, but again was denied by Victor Valdes.
His antics throughout are tiresome, too. The floppy, the crying, the chesting balls down with his arm. Enough already. Go to Italy, or anywhere.
That's probably the only major move Chelsea can make at this point, unless it totally shakes up the boat -- ship off Drogba -- and bring in any strike. You can afford it. Make Valencia an offer it can't refuse for David Villa. Make it a straight swap with Inter for Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Anything, because what other move can the club make? Get a couple viable wide players?
Changing tone, it certainly has to suck to be a Chelsea fan right now just for that reason. The team is good enough to win the Champions League, but had its heart ripped out twice in two years. The team is great, but can't get over the hump -- even with Guus Hiddink's magic.
As Yankees' play-by-play soloist John Sterling might say -- That's baseball.
Now, a couple random thoughts.
* Michael Essien giveth, Michael Essien taketh away.
His goal was of the surreal variety. Nay, a one-in-a-lifetime variety. Notice who got the deflection started off Keita's back? Yep, Frank Lampard. He's got the magic touch. (And what was with the mad rush toward John Obi Mikel on the bench. I'll leave it at that.)
But as good as the Ghanian's goal was, he's whiffed clearance is the direct reason why Chelsea was knocked out.
* What was Dani Alves thinking? He might have swung his arms around more than Ricky Hatton did getting knocked out by Manny Pacquaio on Saturday. He'll be missed in Rome, natch.
* This clip of Michael Ballack is priceless.
* The would-be handball that Herr Ballack wanted called on Sammy Eto'o ... ehh... not that terrible. Kind of calls into question the whole ref's "swallowing the whistle" argument late in games. Personally, to decide that game in an extra time penalty, it just wouldn't sit well.
* Away goals? Let's discuss. UEFA, is this your best way to decide 180 minutes of football that ends 1-1?
* Naturally as English speakers, we'll get mostly the Brit take on this game. Let's not let what Barcelona did go unnoticed. Granted they are Barca, after all, but still it was a gritty, gutty win. No shots until Iniesta's goal, whilst down to 10 men and its second-string central defense? All the while getting beat up by Chelsea up-and-down the field? That's not too shabby. And to finally crack through the wall of blue shirts is impressive...even if they are Barcelona.
* Lionel Messi is going to need a massive final against Manchester United in Rome in a couple weeks to get that World Player of the Year award that everyone already wants to give him, since he was pretty invisible in this affair. Then again, he did thread the ball to Iniesta for the goal. Big play for a little player. (Sorry)
* Chelsea can be pretty pissed off that there wasn't a penalty called on Alves contact with Flourent Malouda in the box, but that red card on Eric Abidal for a phantom foul on Nic Anelka was probably the worst call in the game. How Barca responds without both fullbacks against Manchester United should be fun to see. I'd also wager Sir Alex Ferguson would trade Alves and Abidal for Darren Fletcher any day.
* Well, this might be moot since ESPN loses the Champions League and I won't hear Derek Rae after the final, but didn't we learn anything from the Euro last June? To say it was "surely now" the goal to put Barceloan through is a bit premature, no? Especially with Chelsea's knack for finding a late goal.
That's all I got and I want to watch "Lost."
Adios.
I was able to watch the first half of Cheslea 1, Barcelona 1 on television. Mind you, this is a game in England and I watch it live in the United States.
Next, I'm able to follow play-by-play, minute-by-minute updates of the second half at a high school baseball field via my cell phone.
Finally, due to the magic of DVRs I'm able to rewatch the second half I missed.
And for good measure the YouTubes had the Andres Iniesta goal posted shortly after the fulltime whistle, pending the inevitable UEFA copyright claim.
Anyways, some game, huh?
First and foremost, don't take this as straight-out Chelsea hate, but nobody wanted to see Manchester United/Chelsea -- Italian Style. And please, this wasn't a UEFA conspiracy pulled off by Michel Platini. Not even the insidious David Stern could pull off a hoodwink of that magnitude.
Basically, we saw that match already last year and it went to kick. Meh. Manchester United/Barcelona is simply more appealing. Fact.
One thing Wednesday's craziness at Stamford Bridge affirmed, why people like me loathe Chelsea. The displays during the final, waning minutes from captain caveman Michael Ballack was deplorable. The lack of class throughout from Didier Drogba is painful to watch. Even John Terry got in the ref's face. What's the point? Talk about sore losers.
And let's get down on Drogba. Chelsea fans want to throw all their anger at Norwegian ref Tom Henning Øvrebø. Fine with me. Do it. But reserve some for the Ivorian striker, who once again cost the team at chance at the trophy with the big ears.
Last week at the Camp Nou he blew a chance to give Chelsea an away goal.
Wednesday he had a glided chance on a plate in the 52nd minute, but again was denied by Victor Valdes.
His antics throughout are tiresome, too. The floppy, the crying, the chesting balls down with his arm. Enough already. Go to Italy, or anywhere.
That's probably the only major move Chelsea can make at this point, unless it totally shakes up the boat -- ship off Drogba -- and bring in any strike. You can afford it. Make Valencia an offer it can't refuse for David Villa. Make it a straight swap with Inter for Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Anything, because what other move can the club make? Get a couple viable wide players?
Changing tone, it certainly has to suck to be a Chelsea fan right now just for that reason. The team is good enough to win the Champions League, but had its heart ripped out twice in two years. The team is great, but can't get over the hump -- even with Guus Hiddink's magic.
As Yankees' play-by-play soloist John Sterling might say -- That's baseball.
Now, a couple random thoughts.
* Michael Essien giveth, Michael Essien taketh away.
His goal was of the surreal variety. Nay, a one-in-a-lifetime variety. Notice who got the deflection started off Keita's back? Yep, Frank Lampard. He's got the magic touch. (And what was with the mad rush toward John Obi Mikel on the bench. I'll leave it at that.)
But as good as the Ghanian's goal was, he's whiffed clearance is the direct reason why Chelsea was knocked out.
* What was Dani Alves thinking? He might have swung his arms around more than Ricky Hatton did getting knocked out by Manny Pacquaio on Saturday. He'll be missed in Rome, natch.
* This clip of Michael Ballack is priceless.
* The would-be handball that Herr Ballack wanted called on Sammy Eto'o ... ehh... not that terrible. Kind of calls into question the whole ref's "swallowing the whistle" argument late in games. Personally, to decide that game in an extra time penalty, it just wouldn't sit well.
* Away goals? Let's discuss. UEFA, is this your best way to decide 180 minutes of football that ends 1-1?
* Naturally as English speakers, we'll get mostly the Brit take on this game. Let's not let what Barcelona did go unnoticed. Granted they are Barca, after all, but still it was a gritty, gutty win. No shots until Iniesta's goal, whilst down to 10 men and its second-string central defense? All the while getting beat up by Chelsea up-and-down the field? That's not too shabby. And to finally crack through the wall of blue shirts is impressive...even if they are Barcelona.
* Lionel Messi is going to need a massive final against Manchester United in Rome in a couple weeks to get that World Player of the Year award that everyone already wants to give him, since he was pretty invisible in this affair. Then again, he did thread the ball to Iniesta for the goal. Big play for a little player. (Sorry)
* Chelsea can be pretty pissed off that there wasn't a penalty called on Alves contact with Flourent Malouda in the box, but that red card on Eric Abidal for a phantom foul on Nic Anelka was probably the worst call in the game. How Barca responds without both fullbacks against Manchester United should be fun to see. I'd also wager Sir Alex Ferguson would trade Alves and Abidal for Darren Fletcher any day.
* Well, this might be moot since ESPN loses the Champions League and I won't hear Derek Rae after the final, but didn't we learn anything from the Euro last June? To say it was "surely now" the goal to put Barceloan through is a bit premature, no? Especially with Chelsea's knack for finding a late goal.
That's all I got and I want to watch "Lost."
Adios.
Labels: barcelona, champions league, Chelsea, Soccer
About that Arsenal/Manchester United game
4 Comments Published by Cardillo on May 5, 2009 at 7:52 PM.
Call this a cop-out post, sue me.
What can you really say after Manchester United eviscerated Arsenal 3-1 at the Emirates Tuesday night in the Champions League semifinal?
How many different ways can you write that Cristiano Ronaldo is a god in Nike cleats? (What a counter-attack! The stuff of dreams.)
If I were every Manchester United supporter in the world, I get on my computer and start splicing clips together from today's game, set to the tone of the MasterCard 'Priceless' ads, because that's exactly what the Portugueezer is -- priceless and irreplaceable -- even with a scarred up Frenchman, who likes to hijack team buses and crash them.
In short, a Kool Keith-approved critical beat down.
What can you really say after Manchester United eviscerated Arsenal 3-1 at the Emirates Tuesday night in the Champions League semifinal?
How many different ways can you write that Cristiano Ronaldo is a god in Nike cleats? (What a counter-attack! The stuff of dreams.)
If I were every Manchester United supporter in the world, I get on my computer and start splicing clips together from today's game, set to the tone of the MasterCard 'Priceless' ads, because that's exactly what the Portugueezer is -- priceless and irreplaceable -- even with a scarred up Frenchman, who likes to hijack team buses and crash them.
In short, a Kool Keith-approved critical beat down.
Labels: Arsenal, champions league, cristiano ronaldo, manchester United, Soccer
So ... that happened.
Hard to believe that with less than a month left in the 08-09 Premier League campaign that the weekend seemed to lack any sort of dramatic flair. It all just sort of happened.
Much of this could probably be attributed to the fact that Manchester United played Middlesbrough in the early Saturday morning game and took care of business in tidy 2-0 fashion at the Riverside. That essentially killed off any title chase drama for the weekend and by about 10 a.m. Eastern the only lingering thought would be if Liverpool stumbled Sunday against Newcastle it would be, in the words of Ed Rooney, 'Le jeux sont fait.'
Instead, we press on for another week as Liverpool crosses its collective fingers that Manchester United stubs its toe.
The games themselves? As expected the Manchester United 2-0 win was in the 'meh' category. They did the job, nuff said.
Admittedly, after an impromptu Saturday night karaoke jam-out, there was no way I could get up for Liverpool and Newcastle. Didn't look like I missed much.
At the other end of the table, there wasn't any movement either since all the clubs scraping to avoid catastrophe all lost. Stoke, Portsmouth, Blackburn, Newcastle, Sunderland and Middlebrough all lost. This at least makes the Monday game passingly interesting since it opens a nice window for Hull City.
Sunderland is the biggest criminal here, since it's pretty clear the Black Cats simply want the other teams around them to be slightly more atrocious than they are. Lifeless and listless at home against Everton? Yeah, Everton is pretty good, but put up a fight Sunderland! Show some kind of guts.
Oh wait, the players still get paid so what does this collection of mis-mashed foreign mercenaries care when the club gets relegated? They can even storm their way out of town after it's said and done, too!
Make no mistake, the drop in this economic/sporting world is a death sentence, it just depends how long you stay on death row. Look at the three clubs that dropped out of the league Championship this year -- Norwich City, Southampton and Charlton. All were in the Premier League less than five years ago and now face the abyss.
Of course, there is a different magnitude of death, so to speak. If West Brom goes back down. No big deal. The club didn't spend on players, let alone a shirt sponsor, so their prison issues, err, Coca-Cola patches will fit like a glove.
Newcastle, Blackburn or Portsmouth? I shudder to think. Blackburn's and Portsmouth's finances are so perilous, that the loss of revenue -- even with the parachute payments -- would spell certain, if drawn-out doom unless some innovative minds came to the board room.
As for Newcastle? There's a mess of terrible, bloated Hollywood budget proportions sort of like Waterworld, without the peeing in bottles contraption. Using the word trainwreck isn't strong enough. The only descriptions that come close are words usually associated with war atrocities and lets not bring it down to that level.
The Newcastle scenario remains me of the Red Sox. For years the baseball team was a front office mess and couldn't get out of its way. Then by design or luck or what have you, the Theo Epstein regime steps in and the teams wins the 2004 World Series. The Magpies need someone with a plan to fix the mess. Too bad Bill Parcells doesn't do "football."
Oh right, your promoted teams this year automatically are Wolves and Birmingham. Granted my knowledge is limited, but Wolves Premiership success likely translate into one thing -- if Sylvan Ebanks-Blake isn't poached by a bigger club and if he sticks around can his top-scoring form carry over to the top flight. If you're Wolves, do you take the multi-million price tage Ebanks-Blake carries now, or do you aim to build around him and reap the rewards of sustained surival in the Premiership?
Birmingham...eh. We've seen what the Brum brings to the table. Looking at the roster, it's just about the same team that got relegated last season without Mauro Zarete but in his place Kevin Phillips and Djimi Traoré. Wonder if Phillips spurns Birmingham like he did West Brom last season and stays within the warm busom of the Championship?
For interested parties, your Championship playoffs are Reading v. Preston North End and Sheffield United v. Burnley.
Champions League thoughts -- We probably didn't glean too much about Manchester United and Arsenal at the Emirates on Tuesday. Both teams rested players and got results.
The only thing to watch is the Rio Ferdinand injury/return. Emmanuel Adebayor makes his living chumpatizing guys like Johnny Evans, but Ferdinand is a guy that can out-maneuver the big man from Togo.
How Arsenal gets offense bears watching, obviously. Can they go down mainstreet through Cesc Fabregas? Will Theo Walcott get some space on the wings?
I thought the Gunners would run all over the Red Devils with their young legs. In the return match I'll side with the grit and battled-tested-ness of United. Arsenal probably needs at least two goals to win and I don't see that happening.
While the all-English semi is pretty straight forward, Cheslea/Barcelona just got turned up to 12 after this weekend.
Will Guus Hiddink play Nic Anelka and Didier Drogba and bring the fight to Barca, who in that situation would miss the dirty tactics of Rafa Marquez. The duo looked deadly, albeit against a half-speed Fulham team Saturday at the Bridge.
And what kind of bounce does Barca have after smacking Real Madrid 6-2 at the Bernabeau?
Really, why waste words? This is going to be epic and awesome and amazing and everything else you can think of saying.
Too bad I have to work that afternoon and might not get to see it until way late at night after a "Lost" DVR scenario.
Fantasy Team O' the Week -- Colin Sebastian's Ronaldo's Sunglasses takes top marks with 55 points. Good job. At the top, La Academia seems pretty safe with a 48-point gap on 92% Pure Oxygen!
Hard to believe that with less than a month left in the 08-09 Premier League campaign that the weekend seemed to lack any sort of dramatic flair. It all just sort of happened.
Much of this could probably be attributed to the fact that Manchester United played Middlesbrough in the early Saturday morning game and took care of business in tidy 2-0 fashion at the Riverside. That essentially killed off any title chase drama for the weekend and by about 10 a.m. Eastern the only lingering thought would be if Liverpool stumbled Sunday against Newcastle it would be, in the words of Ed Rooney, 'Le jeux sont fait.'
Instead, we press on for another week as Liverpool crosses its collective fingers that Manchester United stubs its toe.
The games themselves? As expected the Manchester United 2-0 win was in the 'meh' category. They did the job, nuff said.
Admittedly, after an impromptu Saturday night karaoke jam-out, there was no way I could get up for Liverpool and Newcastle. Didn't look like I missed much.
At the other end of the table, there wasn't any movement either since all the clubs scraping to avoid catastrophe all lost. Stoke, Portsmouth, Blackburn, Newcastle, Sunderland and Middlebrough all lost. This at least makes the Monday game passingly interesting since it opens a nice window for Hull City.
Sunderland is the biggest criminal here, since it's pretty clear the Black Cats simply want the other teams around them to be slightly more atrocious than they are. Lifeless and listless at home against Everton? Yeah, Everton is pretty good, but put up a fight Sunderland! Show some kind of guts.
Oh wait, the players still get paid so what does this collection of mis-mashed foreign mercenaries care when the club gets relegated? They can even storm their way out of town after it's said and done, too!
Make no mistake, the drop in this economic/sporting world is a death sentence, it just depends how long you stay on death row. Look at the three clubs that dropped out of the league Championship this year -- Norwich City, Southampton and Charlton. All were in the Premier League less than five years ago and now face the abyss.
Of course, there is a different magnitude of death, so to speak. If West Brom goes back down. No big deal. The club didn't spend on players, let alone a shirt sponsor, so their prison issues, err, Coca-Cola patches will fit like a glove.
Newcastle, Blackburn or Portsmouth? I shudder to think. Blackburn's and Portsmouth's finances are so perilous, that the loss of revenue -- even with the parachute payments -- would spell certain, if drawn-out doom unless some innovative minds came to the board room.
As for Newcastle? There's a mess of terrible, bloated Hollywood budget proportions sort of like Waterworld, without the peeing in bottles contraption. Using the word trainwreck isn't strong enough. The only descriptions that come close are words usually associated with war atrocities and lets not bring it down to that level.
The Newcastle scenario remains me of the Red Sox. For years the baseball team was a front office mess and couldn't get out of its way. Then by design or luck or what have you, the Theo Epstein regime steps in and the teams wins the 2004 World Series. The Magpies need someone with a plan to fix the mess. Too bad Bill Parcells doesn't do "football."
Oh right, your promoted teams this year automatically are Wolves and Birmingham. Granted my knowledge is limited, but Wolves Premiership success likely translate into one thing -- if Sylvan Ebanks-Blake isn't poached by a bigger club and if he sticks around can his top-scoring form carry over to the top flight. If you're Wolves, do you take the multi-million price tage Ebanks-Blake carries now, or do you aim to build around him and reap the rewards of sustained surival in the Premiership?
Birmingham...eh. We've seen what the Brum brings to the table. Looking at the roster, it's just about the same team that got relegated last season without Mauro Zarete but in his place Kevin Phillips and Djimi Traoré. Wonder if Phillips spurns Birmingham like he did West Brom last season and stays within the warm busom of the Championship?
For interested parties, your Championship playoffs are Reading v. Preston North End and Sheffield United v. Burnley.
Champions League thoughts -- We probably didn't glean too much about Manchester United and Arsenal at the Emirates on Tuesday. Both teams rested players and got results.
The only thing to watch is the Rio Ferdinand injury/return. Emmanuel Adebayor makes his living chumpatizing guys like Johnny Evans, but Ferdinand is a guy that can out-maneuver the big man from Togo.
How Arsenal gets offense bears watching, obviously. Can they go down mainstreet through Cesc Fabregas? Will Theo Walcott get some space on the wings?
I thought the Gunners would run all over the Red Devils with their young legs. In the return match I'll side with the grit and battled-tested-ness of United. Arsenal probably needs at least two goals to win and I don't see that happening.
While the all-English semi is pretty straight forward, Cheslea/Barcelona just got turned up to 12 after this weekend.
Will Guus Hiddink play Nic Anelka and Didier Drogba and bring the fight to Barca, who in that situation would miss the dirty tactics of Rafa Marquez. The duo looked deadly, albeit against a half-speed Fulham team Saturday at the Bridge.
And what kind of bounce does Barca have after smacking Real Madrid 6-2 at the Bernabeau?
Really, why waste words? This is going to be epic and awesome and amazing and everything else you can think of saying.
Too bad I have to work that afternoon and might not get to see it until way late at night after a "Lost" DVR scenario.
Fantasy Team O' the Week -- Colin Sebastian's Ronaldo's Sunglasses takes top marks with 55 points. Good job. At the top, La Academia seems pretty safe with a 48-point gap on 92% Pure Oxygen!
Labels: Monday recaps, Premier League, Soccer
Swine flu?
Serie A splitting apart?
Everton coming to the states?
Manchester City linked with you, me and Dupree?
Ronaldo stamping around like an unemployed chorus line dancer?
An all Ukraine Is Not Weak UEFA Cup semifinal?
An insightful soccer player interview?
Just another week in the wild world of world football.
Saturday
* Middlesbrough v. Manchester United -- (Live, 7:45 a.m., Setanta) Does anyone know if Sir Alex is a fan of military history? How many times have nations lost when they try to fight on two fronts. At least the Champions League final isn't in Russia again, right? Perhaps the Riverside will actually sold out since this is the Boro faithful's likely last time to be able to see the likes of Ronaldo, Rooney, Tevez, etc. Then again, they'll likely get the likes of Macheda, Welbeck, etc. as SAF might play it cool with a game against Arsenal in 48+ hours. Call me crazy, but this won't be a walkover. Johnny Evans, eat your Wheaties, or it's Brit analogue. ... Middlesbrough 0, Manchester United 2
* Chelsea v. Fulham -- (Live, 9:45 a.m., Setanta) Let's play head games for a second. If you're Guus Hiddink do you really risk anything in this game at all? With Barcelona coming to Stamford Bridge you want everyone as fresh as possible, right? Even playing a makeshift defense wouldn't be the worst idea in the world to let Petr Cech get all the flops and flaps out of his system in a meaningless game. Fulham is going to go for this one, because if it all breaks right, the Cottagers might end up in Europe. ... Chelsea 2, Fulham 1
* Manchester City v. Blackburn Rovers -- Mark Hughes seems safe, unless the City braintrust decides to buy the world's best manager. As I've said in the past, why not spend that oil money on dark science and create a super manager from the remains of Brian Clough, Alf Ramsey, etc. Rovers need one more win, and with their crisis of forwards it's shame that Matt Derbyshire is on his way to becoming a Greek Myth. ... City 2, Rovers 0
* Portsmouth v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Who knows what kind of lineup Wenger throws out there, but it should be able to handle Pompey. ... Portsmouth 1, Arsenal 2
* Stoke City v. West Ham United -- Amazingly, Stoke could finish in the top half of the table if results break their way. Tony Pulis manager of the year? Considering Giggs was the PFA Player of the Year, the answer will probably be a resounding, no. ... Stoke City 2, West Ham 0
* Tottenham v. West Brom -- West Brom pulled off the great escape once, it's not happening again. ... Spurs 3, West Brom 1
* Wigan Athletic v. Bolton -- Eh, if this game were played in a forest would it make a sound? ... Wigan 1, Bolton 1
Sunday
* Liverpool v. Newcastle United -- (Live, Setanta, 8:30 a.m.) Liverpool know what it has to do -- win. For whatever it's worth, it's been a true joy to watch Fernando Torres this season. No matter the touch, he seems dangerous wherever he is on the field. For my thoughts on Newcastle, let's quote Ron Burgundy, "This is grim, reaaaal grim." ... Liverpool 2, Newcastle 0
* Sunderland v. Everton -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Sunderland is on a standing eight count, is Everton the team to field the knockout blow? We do know that Tim Cahill likes himself a good shadowboxing routine. ... Sunderland 0, Everton 1
Monday
* Aston Villa v. Hull City -- (Live, FSC, 2:45 p.m.) Bet these two teams wish it were November again instead of May. ... Aston Villa 1, Hull City 1
Last round: 6-4
Season: 156-177
Serie A splitting apart?
Everton coming to the states?
Manchester City linked with you, me and Dupree?
Ronaldo stamping around like an unemployed chorus line dancer?
An all Ukraine Is Not Weak UEFA Cup semifinal?
An insightful soccer player interview?
Just another week in the wild world of world football.
Saturday
* Middlesbrough v. Manchester United -- (Live, 7:45 a.m., Setanta) Does anyone know if Sir Alex is a fan of military history? How many times have nations lost when they try to fight on two fronts. At least the Champions League final isn't in Russia again, right? Perhaps the Riverside will actually sold out since this is the Boro faithful's likely last time to be able to see the likes of Ronaldo, Rooney, Tevez, etc. Then again, they'll likely get the likes of Macheda, Welbeck, etc. as SAF might play it cool with a game against Arsenal in 48+ hours. Call me crazy, but this won't be a walkover. Johnny Evans, eat your Wheaties, or it's Brit analogue. ... Middlesbrough 0, Manchester United 2
* Chelsea v. Fulham -- (Live, 9:45 a.m., Setanta) Let's play head games for a second. If you're Guus Hiddink do you really risk anything in this game at all? With Barcelona coming to Stamford Bridge you want everyone as fresh as possible, right? Even playing a makeshift defense wouldn't be the worst idea in the world to let Petr Cech get all the flops and flaps out of his system in a meaningless game. Fulham is going to go for this one, because if it all breaks right, the Cottagers might end up in Europe. ... Chelsea 2, Fulham 1
* Manchester City v. Blackburn Rovers -- Mark Hughes seems safe, unless the City braintrust decides to buy the world's best manager. As I've said in the past, why not spend that oil money on dark science and create a super manager from the remains of Brian Clough, Alf Ramsey, etc. Rovers need one more win, and with their crisis of forwards it's shame that Matt Derbyshire is on his way to becoming a Greek Myth. ... City 2, Rovers 0
* Portsmouth v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Who knows what kind of lineup Wenger throws out there, but it should be able to handle Pompey. ... Portsmouth 1, Arsenal 2
* Stoke City v. West Ham United -- Amazingly, Stoke could finish in the top half of the table if results break their way. Tony Pulis manager of the year? Considering Giggs was the PFA Player of the Year, the answer will probably be a resounding, no. ... Stoke City 2, West Ham 0
* Tottenham v. West Brom -- West Brom pulled off the great escape once, it's not happening again. ... Spurs 3, West Brom 1
* Wigan Athletic v. Bolton -- Eh, if this game were played in a forest would it make a sound? ... Wigan 1, Bolton 1
Sunday
* Liverpool v. Newcastle United -- (Live, Setanta, 8:30 a.m.) Liverpool know what it has to do -- win. For whatever it's worth, it's been a true joy to watch Fernando Torres this season. No matter the touch, he seems dangerous wherever he is on the field. For my thoughts on Newcastle, let's quote Ron Burgundy, "This is grim, reaaaal grim." ... Liverpool 2, Newcastle 0
* Sunderland v. Everton -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Sunderland is on a standing eight count, is Everton the team to field the knockout blow? We do know that Tim Cahill likes himself a good shadowboxing routine. ... Sunderland 0, Everton 1
Monday
* Aston Villa v. Hull City -- (Live, FSC, 2:45 p.m.) Bet these two teams wish it were November again instead of May. ... Aston Villa 1, Hull City 1
Last round: 6-4
Season: 156-177
Labels: Prem Picks, Premier League, Soccer
