In the year 2010, sports and money are tied at the hip, but you didn't need me to tell you that. Just look at yesterday's NBA trade deadline, when the most valuable asset wasn't actual players, instead expiring contracts. Why else is Gotham welcoming the zombified, bloated corpse of Tracy McGrady? (If his awful nickname -- "T-Mac" -- didn't roll off the tongue of sportscasters so easily, would we even care about him?)
I digress.
In a weird quirk, if you Google the terms, "NBA salaries", "baseball salaries" or "NFL salaries" you'll get a slew of easily readable results. Hell, even before the days of the Inter-webs, USA Today used to publish this salaries every year -- a definite clip-and-save.
This week I wanted to apply this logic to world soccer, or at least our beloved Premier League. Not all that unsurprisingly, my searches didn't yield all too much. Oddly enough, the pro soccer league with the best salary disclosure, you guessed it, MLS!
It got me thinking. When it comes to world soccer, does money even actually exist? When we read these figures floated out in the press, like when Cristiano Ronaldo moves from Manchester United to Real Madrid for $130 million, does it actually even happened? Where does that money come from, as these days it seems like even the aforementioned mega-clubs are up to their gills in debt.
Maybe my brain doesn't work on such high processing levels, but does the money simply ghost from one foreign account to the next? Does it ever go beyond the creditors accounts? Are we working with monopoly money? We know the player get paid, well not if they play for Portsmouth, but where does all the money come from and go?
It almost feels like an 'Emperor has no clothes' scenario.
Anyway, back to the idea of salaries, which seem shrouded in mystery. To begin with, whenever we hear of a salary, it's in weekly wages, which then involves the matter of first converting either Euros or pounds into dollars, and then multiplying that by 52. Look, I don't have time for that sort of thing, not when there's video of a cat stuck in a jacket sleeve to watch.
Back to my search, the best result I could find was actually from a Twitter feed, from Mirror Football. Here's the link, chew it over and come back and finish this post.
Kind of crazy, no? It's hard to live in a world where Kolo Toure is making more money than Wayne Rooney, Didier Drogba and Fernando Torres. (Not even Stringer Bell and his Baltimore City Community College economics degree could explain that one.)
Then again, it's not surprising that clubs like Manchester City, Chelsea and Real Madrid can float massive salaries. City and Chelsea seem to have an endless cash flow due to their owner's massive checkbooks. And Real Madrid? My head hurts more than trying to figure out the time travel stuff from "Lost" than to prying into and understanding how Los Merengues finance everything.
Moving on. Since I couldn't find a database of footballers' salaries, I instead wanted to borrow another trope from Internet "hero" Bill Simmons, who ran his traditional "NBA Trade Value" column this week. (Boy do I wish I'd invented the term "zero guard".)
Naturally, this got me thinking, could I steal this trope and apply it to soccer? Well, for one, that would be too wide-ranging. In the NBA there are 30 teams and say, 450 players. Compare that to soccer where there are hundreds and hundreds of pro clubs and thousands of players. Again, my cortex cannot process all that information. I'm not a Geth.
So in order for this next little bit to work, we're going to limit it to players inside the Premier League. Some of the factors I'm weighing are: age, durability, cost/value and psychological impact (There is value to a player that can inspire a stadium ground, compared to the steady, though boring performer.)
Another factor is position. Ideally, in a world draft of footballers my first two picks might be Brazilian backs Maicon and Dani Alves -- no lie. However if I stuck those two guys on an average team at their positions, the influence they'd have would be minimal compared to either a central defender, midfielder or forward. In other words, they're luxury items on a good team, hence the exclusion of Ashley Cole.
We're not worrying about contract length or status or salary cap implications, either.
Also an excluding factor applies to guys under 22 with too few games under their belts at a the full senior level like Aaron Ramsey or Fabian Delph. Selecting them is too much of a gamble.
Look at it this way, if I were running a promoted club and my chairman gave me a blank check to sign one player for the next three to five years that would help me succeed in the Premier League, who would I target?
This is not the best 10 players in the League, it's 10 players that if I had one of them in my starting XI, I'd feel fairly confident I'd have a good chance of winning that day.
Toughest omissions:
* Ashley Cole -- See above.
* Nemanja Vidic -- Arguably the first defender you'd take from the league's pool, but this season has been so weird for the Serb. Something seems amiss, beyond a simple injury. Where's his head at?
* Dirk Kuyt -- Best work-rate in the league, except would he be able to lift mediocre players by himself? Not so sure.
* Tim Cahill -- Inspirational to Everton, but at 30 years old, if you plopped him on another squad would he be as effective?
* Andrey Arshavin -- Love him as a player, but maybe only as a player in a glass jar performing tricks in a vacuum. On the field at the Emirates he's emerging as tweener. Not quite a striker, not quite a winger. There are worse problems, but I'm not sure in this league he could carry a team without a couple bodyguards.
* Brad Friedel -- He'd instantly improve the defense of any team in the world, but he's 38 and can't play forever, can he? And honestly, in the Premier League how often to keepers influence matches. The variance between the best and worst can't be all the much.
* Jamie O'Hara -- Playing quite well at Portsmouth in perhaps the worst situation imaginable. I almost had him in the top 10, but didn't want to get laughed off. Suffice to say, maybe Harry Redknapp wished he'd loaned out another player instead of the young Englishman. It's strange how playmaking midfielders aren't all that plentiful in the League.
* Clint Dempsey -- Speaking of getting laughed off. Really wanted to get the man they call Deuce in the Top 10, but couldn't do it. Even though at 26 he's proven to be a valuable and versatile attacking player. But a No. 1 option on a team? Is he at that level? As much as I've enjoyed his progress this season, a team who's best player is Dempsey doesn't have much of a ceiling.
* Jermain Defoe -- Just a little too streaky. Not sure I'd win a ton of games if he were my No. 1 option.
* Gabby Agbonlahor/Ashley Young -- At the end of 2009 you could have made a case for all either two, but Aston Villa's recent goal-scoring slump has to fall on their shoulders to some degree. Do they need a creative playmaker to thrive?
* Carlos Tevez -- We've seen him carry clubs -- West Ham, Manchester United (sorta) and Manchester City -- for months at a time. Can he do it for the rest of the season and keep City in the top four? By far my hardest guy to leave out of the top 10. I debated Tevez and the No. 9 slot for a good couple minutes, flipping and flopping them several times.
Easiest omission:
* Younes Kaboul.
The Top 10.
10. James Milner, Aston Villa -- Why he made the cut over his Villa teammates? For one, he escaped the stink of Newcastle United relatively unscathed. That's saying something, like how Titanic survivors became celebrities. Second, he's a bit more versatile, you can stick him all over the midfield or even at back if need be. Plus Milner seems to have the potential to grown into a type of "hero man" player that can inspire a team. We shall see.
9. Abou Diaby, Arsenal -- I'm come full circle on the unfortunately dubbed, "New Vieira." At first I didn't think he brought anything to the table aside from this 6-foot-4 frame. This season though the 23-year-old Frenchman has displayed much more of an edge going forward, with seven league goals. He'd be an ultimate utility player, a guy you could play effectively anywhere in the center of the field for the next half decade or so. Diaby isn't dynamic, but he would cover up a lot of deficiencies on any team.
8. Ryan Shawcross, Stoke City -- Would you rather have a 22-year-old 6-foot-5 Shawcross in this spot, or a 29-year-old "Bionic Woman" in John Terry?. Believe it or not, Bolton's Gary Cahill was going to be in this spot (24 years old, solid defensively), until I double checked on Shawcross' age, somehow I thought or read he was 27. Put Shawcross in the middle of the defense and you're winning nearly every high ball in the box and have a massive set piece threat. It's only a matter of time until he's on a "Big Four" club. Call him the "New Carragher."
7. Steven Gerrard, Liverpool/Frank Lampard, Chelsea -- Sorry, but I couldn't resist lumping them together. Both are the prototypical inspirational goal-scoring midfielders of the last half-decade, leading their clubs to a slew of trophies. Gerrard is two years younger, at 29, but it's an old 29 since he's passed the 500-game barrier. Lampard meanwhile is 31 with an astounding 657 career appearances, so I'd have to have other players around him because it's doubtful he'd be able to carry the water or do the heavy lifting by himself for anything more than another year or two. Bottom line, these two guys could keep my mythical team in the title hunt but probably only for a year or two, at best. It'll be interesting to see how long these two England stalwarts can keep their pace, or if the wheels will fall off at once?
6. Aaron Lennon, Tottenham -- Ask yourself this: How many good wide players are currently playing in the Premier League? Can you count them on one hand? Look how Spurs have fallen off with Lennon on the sidelines. Lennon might not be the king of consistency, but if you got say, 18 meh games to 18 awesome games, it would be worth it. The one worry, durability. Still, I'll take a 22-year-old Lennon over anyone at his position, though once his speed went he wouldn't be much of a factor.
5. Didier Drogba, Chelsea -- For one season, he might be the No. 1 overall pick, but don't forget Chelsea was listening to offers from places like Inter Milan in the summer. On his game, no forward is more unstoppable and he'd keep you in any match. On the flip side, he's 31 and on the wrong team with the wrong coach, would become a distraction. Still, I wouldn't kick him out of the penalty spot for eating crackers. And if I'm an MLS club I start working the back channels to convince him to move Stateside once he starts getting a little older.
4. Fernando Torres, Liverpool -- Only the recent development of injuries keeps him this low. Fifty goals in 72 games for Liverpool is hard to argue with. No player can pull the spectacular with some ease and aplomb. At the same time, the fragility scares me. As does the fact all his goals have produced nothing but a La Liga promotion in 2002 with Atletico Madrid. It's like the scene in "This is Spinal Tap" where Nigel Tufnel is showing off his guitars to Marti DiBergi. There's the one guitar he's never player and doesn't even want to be looked at. That's Torres. (Here's a link, in lego form.)
3. Michael Essien, Chelsea -- Even though he's missed the bulk of this season, Essien is sill just 27. You could put him anywhere in the midfield or outside of defense and you know you're getting 90 minutes of ultra-intense work and effort. He's not mailing anything in. The game is the game to him. And then he sleeps. Plus you're netting at least one or two thunderbolt wondergoals during the course of a season, which rates high in my book. He's won league titles in France with Lyon and in England with Chelsea. He'd help my team win, too.
2. Cesc Fabregas, Arsenal -- At 22 years old, Arsenal is his team. That's why the Barcelona rumors don't make sense. Why go to a team that's already loaded in the midfield? Does he want to ride the coattails of Xavi, Iniesta and Messi? If the offer does come from Catalonia, will Fabregas force Arsenal's hand? And in a game of brinksmanship, would Arsene Wenger let his star midfield bronco go? That's something you can't say about player atop this silly list.
1. Wayne Rooney, Manchester United -- Let's look at it this way, what would it take for Manchester United to even consider selling Rooney to another team at this point? All the tea in China? The Hope Diamond? Every single Honus Wagner baseball card in existence? The Ark of the Covenant? The patent on a perpetual motion machine? A controlling interest in Google stock? They still might say no. Well, Sir Alex would. The Glazers? Maybe not.
One final word on Rooney. You'd think he's be a hellraiser off the field, but really aside from the rumors he went to a prostitute he leaves the red mist on the field. Off it he seems like the perfect family man. (Perhaps because of this, he doesn't pass the LeBron James "tornado test.")
Fill free to correct me on this. It's not a scientific study. One issue I've already noticed is the heavy reliance on players on the big clubs, though that's logical.
Saturday:
* Everton v. Manchester United -- (Live, ESPN2, 7:30 a.m.) I'd be curious to see what kind of an audience ESPN draws for this match. The biggest club in the world, at least to anglophiles, playing against the best American player -- Landon Donovan. It's a shame isn't so damn early -- 4:30 a.m. on the West Coast? How does 30f pull it off? (Wait, he's rubbing elbows with Hollywood actors, including a certain United-supporting ex-Hobbit in sunny Los Angeles, so don't feel too bad for him.) As for the game, the Maroune Felliani injury is a blow to David Moyes club, which can't catch a break. Then again, the afro-ed Belgian was on the giving end of plenty of crunching tackles, so what goes around comes around. Perhaps Sir Alex has to gameplan against Donovan's speed for this one, meaning Rafael instead of John O'Shea. Still, United have won 13 times at Ewood Park in the Premier League era, and I'm sure Rooney will have something to do with extending that number to 14. ... Everton 1, Manchester United 2
* West Ham v. Hull City -- The Irons look like they're getting their act together, with three-straight clean sheets at home. A game like this is one they conceivably have to win to avoid the drop. On the plus side for Hull, Jimmy Bullard might play for the first time since Dec. 5 and everybody's a winner when he's on the field. Hard to find a more likable personality in the league. The way these two play, the goals might flow, hear me Jozy? ... West Ham 3, Hull City 2
* Wolves v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Classic Premier League decision, fining Wolves when Mick McCarthy pretty much conceded defeat to Manchester United by fielding a second-string team when they had won against Spurs three days earlier and then had a winnable match vs. Burnley up next. Stupid, stupid, stupid. McCarthy actually makes a sound tactical move, albeit one where he waved the white flag and gets fined. Terrific. Of concern for Chelsea, since December in away league games the Blues have one win (vs. Burnley) with two losses and three draws. But are Wolves good enough to hold them? ... Wolves 0, Chelsea 1
* Arsenal v. Sunderland -- (Live, Setanta, 10 a.m.) Sunderland hasn't won in 12 games since beating Arsenal in November. Who do you think this upsets more Steve Bruce or Arsene Wenger? Give the Gunners a win there and they're just three points off first. It's a funny old game, right? This sets up to be a Gooners rout, but without the defensive players missing in the midweek vs. Porto (Gallas, Almunia) Sunderland might get a couple chances at goal. ... Arsenal 3, Sunderland 1
* Portsmouth v. Stoke City -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Could this be Portsmouth's swan song? Seriously? ... Portsmouth 1, Stoke City 0
Sunday:
* Blackburn v. Bolton -- So far Stuart Holden has come about as close to playing in a Premier League match since moving to Bolton as I have. That's not good. Not for nothing, but Blackburn has a really strange mix of players. Big Sam can't resist the multi-national mix, I suppose. ... Blackburn 1, Bolton 1
* Aston Villa v. Burnley -- One of these days Villa will break out in the league. This could be it. ... Villa 2, Burnely 0
* Fulham v. Birmingham City -- Well, congrats Alex McLeish. Your team is now closer to 10th place Fulham than fourth place Manchester City. It was fun while it lasted at least. ... Fulham 1, Birmingham City 1
* Manchester City v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Big game? Dare I say a playoff-caliber game? If I'm Rafa Benitez I might simply include Fernando Torres in the team, if only for the mind games it might play with City and the boost it may give your team. Rushing him back from injury, no. But it's hard to hurt yourself sitting on the bench in a tracksuit. Call it a decoy method. And I knew Patrick Vieira was a bad move for City, but never did I think he'd have to serve a three-match ban for kicking Glenn Whelan in the junk. On paper City is better than Liverpool, but in the last month Liverpool have shown a ton of guts, while City have shrunk from the challenge of chasing for fourth. Even saying that, City are probably due a big game and seeing Liverpool should inspire the team. Emmanuel Adebayor seems to infuriate fans and foes alike, so he'll likely have a big game Sunday. ... City 2, Liverpool 0
* Wigan Athletic v. Spurs -- (Live, FSC, noon) Congrats Tottenham, nobody else is matching the 9-1 beat down you inflicted on Wigan. Too bad your season peaked on Nov. 23. Methinks the Latics will remember that one. Maybe they'll even run a tractor over the pitch to make it extra ragged. ... Wigan 2, Spurs 1
Last round: 3-7 (Didn't pick this week's midweek matches.)
Season: 132-119
I digress.
In a weird quirk, if you Google the terms, "NBA salaries", "baseball salaries" or "NFL salaries" you'll get a slew of easily readable results. Hell, even before the days of the Inter-webs, USA Today used to publish this salaries every year -- a definite clip-and-save.
This week I wanted to apply this logic to world soccer, or at least our beloved Premier League. Not all that unsurprisingly, my searches didn't yield all too much. Oddly enough, the pro soccer league with the best salary disclosure, you guessed it, MLS!
It got me thinking. When it comes to world soccer, does money even actually exist? When we read these figures floated out in the press, like when Cristiano Ronaldo moves from Manchester United to Real Madrid for $130 million, does it actually even happened? Where does that money come from, as these days it seems like even the aforementioned mega-clubs are up to their gills in debt.
Maybe my brain doesn't work on such high processing levels, but does the money simply ghost from one foreign account to the next? Does it ever go beyond the creditors accounts? Are we working with monopoly money? We know the player get paid, well not if they play for Portsmouth, but where does all the money come from and go?
It almost feels like an 'Emperor has no clothes' scenario.
Anyway, back to the idea of salaries, which seem shrouded in mystery. To begin with, whenever we hear of a salary, it's in weekly wages, which then involves the matter of first converting either Euros or pounds into dollars, and then multiplying that by 52. Look, I don't have time for that sort of thing, not when there's video of a cat stuck in a jacket sleeve to watch.
Back to my search, the best result I could find was actually from a Twitter feed, from Mirror Football. Here's the link, chew it over and come back and finish this post.
Kind of crazy, no? It's hard to live in a world where Kolo Toure is making more money than Wayne Rooney, Didier Drogba and Fernando Torres. (Not even Stringer Bell and his Baltimore City Community College economics degree could explain that one.)
Then again, it's not surprising that clubs like Manchester City, Chelsea and Real Madrid can float massive salaries. City and Chelsea seem to have an endless cash flow due to their owner's massive checkbooks. And Real Madrid? My head hurts more than trying to figure out the time travel stuff from "Lost" than to prying into and understanding how Los Merengues finance everything.
Moving on. Since I couldn't find a database of footballers' salaries, I instead wanted to borrow another trope from Internet "hero" Bill Simmons, who ran his traditional "NBA Trade Value" column this week. (Boy do I wish I'd invented the term "zero guard".)
Naturally, this got me thinking, could I steal this trope and apply it to soccer? Well, for one, that would be too wide-ranging. In the NBA there are 30 teams and say, 450 players. Compare that to soccer where there are hundreds and hundreds of pro clubs and thousands of players. Again, my cortex cannot process all that information. I'm not a Geth.
So in order for this next little bit to work, we're going to limit it to players inside the Premier League. Some of the factors I'm weighing are: age, durability, cost/value and psychological impact (There is value to a player that can inspire a stadium ground, compared to the steady, though boring performer.)
Another factor is position. Ideally, in a world draft of footballers my first two picks might be Brazilian backs Maicon and Dani Alves -- no lie. However if I stuck those two guys on an average team at their positions, the influence they'd have would be minimal compared to either a central defender, midfielder or forward. In other words, they're luxury items on a good team, hence the exclusion of Ashley Cole.
We're not worrying about contract length or status or salary cap implications, either.
Also an excluding factor applies to guys under 22 with too few games under their belts at a the full senior level like Aaron Ramsey or Fabian Delph. Selecting them is too much of a gamble.
Look at it this way, if I were running a promoted club and my chairman gave me a blank check to sign one player for the next three to five years that would help me succeed in the Premier League, who would I target?
This is not the best 10 players in the League, it's 10 players that if I had one of them in my starting XI, I'd feel fairly confident I'd have a good chance of winning that day.
Toughest omissions:
* Ashley Cole -- See above.
* Nemanja Vidic -- Arguably the first defender you'd take from the league's pool, but this season has been so weird for the Serb. Something seems amiss, beyond a simple injury. Where's his head at?
* Dirk Kuyt -- Best work-rate in the league, except would he be able to lift mediocre players by himself? Not so sure.
* Tim Cahill -- Inspirational to Everton, but at 30 years old, if you plopped him on another squad would he be as effective?
* Andrey Arshavin -- Love him as a player, but maybe only as a player in a glass jar performing tricks in a vacuum. On the field at the Emirates he's emerging as tweener. Not quite a striker, not quite a winger. There are worse problems, but I'm not sure in this league he could carry a team without a couple bodyguards.
* Brad Friedel -- He'd instantly improve the defense of any team in the world, but he's 38 and can't play forever, can he? And honestly, in the Premier League how often to keepers influence matches. The variance between the best and worst can't be all the much.
* Jamie O'Hara -- Playing quite well at Portsmouth in perhaps the worst situation imaginable. I almost had him in the top 10, but didn't want to get laughed off. Suffice to say, maybe Harry Redknapp wished he'd loaned out another player instead of the young Englishman. It's strange how playmaking midfielders aren't all that plentiful in the League.
* Clint Dempsey -- Speaking of getting laughed off. Really wanted to get the man they call Deuce in the Top 10, but couldn't do it. Even though at 26 he's proven to be a valuable and versatile attacking player. But a No. 1 option on a team? Is he at that level? As much as I've enjoyed his progress this season, a team who's best player is Dempsey doesn't have much of a ceiling.
* Jermain Defoe -- Just a little too streaky. Not sure I'd win a ton of games if he were my No. 1 option.
* Gabby Agbonlahor/Ashley Young -- At the end of 2009 you could have made a case for all either two, but Aston Villa's recent goal-scoring slump has to fall on their shoulders to some degree. Do they need a creative playmaker to thrive?
* Carlos Tevez -- We've seen him carry clubs -- West Ham, Manchester United (sorta) and Manchester City -- for months at a time. Can he do it for the rest of the season and keep City in the top four? By far my hardest guy to leave out of the top 10. I debated Tevez and the No. 9 slot for a good couple minutes, flipping and flopping them several times.
Easiest omission:
* Younes Kaboul.
The Top 10.
10. James Milner, Aston Villa -- Why he made the cut over his Villa teammates? For one, he escaped the stink of Newcastle United relatively unscathed. That's saying something, like how Titanic survivors became celebrities. Second, he's a bit more versatile, you can stick him all over the midfield or even at back if need be. Plus Milner seems to have the potential to grown into a type of "hero man" player that can inspire a team. We shall see.
9. Abou Diaby, Arsenal -- I'm come full circle on the unfortunately dubbed, "New Vieira." At first I didn't think he brought anything to the table aside from this 6-foot-4 frame. This season though the 23-year-old Frenchman has displayed much more of an edge going forward, with seven league goals. He'd be an ultimate utility player, a guy you could play effectively anywhere in the center of the field for the next half decade or so. Diaby isn't dynamic, but he would cover up a lot of deficiencies on any team.
8. Ryan Shawcross, Stoke City -- Would you rather have a 22-year-old 6-foot-5 Shawcross in this spot, or a 29-year-old "Bionic Woman" in John Terry?. Believe it or not, Bolton's Gary Cahill was going to be in this spot (24 years old, solid defensively), until I double checked on Shawcross' age, somehow I thought or read he was 27. Put Shawcross in the middle of the defense and you're winning nearly every high ball in the box and have a massive set piece threat. It's only a matter of time until he's on a "Big Four" club. Call him the "New Carragher."
7. Steven Gerrard, Liverpool/Frank Lampard, Chelsea -- Sorry, but I couldn't resist lumping them together. Both are the prototypical inspirational goal-scoring midfielders of the last half-decade, leading their clubs to a slew of trophies. Gerrard is two years younger, at 29, but it's an old 29 since he's passed the 500-game barrier. Lampard meanwhile is 31 with an astounding 657 career appearances, so I'd have to have other players around him because it's doubtful he'd be able to carry the water or do the heavy lifting by himself for anything more than another year or two. Bottom line, these two guys could keep my mythical team in the title hunt but probably only for a year or two, at best. It'll be interesting to see how long these two England stalwarts can keep their pace, or if the wheels will fall off at once?
6. Aaron Lennon, Tottenham -- Ask yourself this: How many good wide players are currently playing in the Premier League? Can you count them on one hand? Look how Spurs have fallen off with Lennon on the sidelines. Lennon might not be the king of consistency, but if you got say, 18 meh games to 18 awesome games, it would be worth it. The one worry, durability. Still, I'll take a 22-year-old Lennon over anyone at his position, though once his speed went he wouldn't be much of a factor.
5. Didier Drogba, Chelsea -- For one season, he might be the No. 1 overall pick, but don't forget Chelsea was listening to offers from places like Inter Milan in the summer. On his game, no forward is more unstoppable and he'd keep you in any match. On the flip side, he's 31 and on the wrong team with the wrong coach, would become a distraction. Still, I wouldn't kick him out of the penalty spot for eating crackers. And if I'm an MLS club I start working the back channels to convince him to move Stateside once he starts getting a little older.
4. Fernando Torres, Liverpool -- Only the recent development of injuries keeps him this low. Fifty goals in 72 games for Liverpool is hard to argue with. No player can pull the spectacular with some ease and aplomb. At the same time, the fragility scares me. As does the fact all his goals have produced nothing but a La Liga promotion in 2002 with Atletico Madrid. It's like the scene in "This is Spinal Tap" where Nigel Tufnel is showing off his guitars to Marti DiBergi. There's the one guitar he's never player and doesn't even want to be looked at. That's Torres. (Here's a link, in lego form.)
3. Michael Essien, Chelsea -- Even though he's missed the bulk of this season, Essien is sill just 27. You could put him anywhere in the midfield or outside of defense and you know you're getting 90 minutes of ultra-intense work and effort. He's not mailing anything in. The game is the game to him. And then he sleeps. Plus you're netting at least one or two thunderbolt wondergoals during the course of a season, which rates high in my book. He's won league titles in France with Lyon and in England with Chelsea. He'd help my team win, too.
2. Cesc Fabregas, Arsenal -- At 22 years old, Arsenal is his team. That's why the Barcelona rumors don't make sense. Why go to a team that's already loaded in the midfield? Does he want to ride the coattails of Xavi, Iniesta and Messi? If the offer does come from Catalonia, will Fabregas force Arsenal's hand? And in a game of brinksmanship, would Arsene Wenger let his star midfield bronco go? That's something you can't say about player atop this silly list.
1. Wayne Rooney, Manchester United -- Let's look at it this way, what would it take for Manchester United to even consider selling Rooney to another team at this point? All the tea in China? The Hope Diamond? Every single Honus Wagner baseball card in existence? The Ark of the Covenant? The patent on a perpetual motion machine? A controlling interest in Google stock? They still might say no. Well, Sir Alex would. The Glazers? Maybe not.
One final word on Rooney. You'd think he's be a hellraiser off the field, but really aside from the rumors he went to a prostitute he leaves the red mist on the field. Off it he seems like the perfect family man. (Perhaps because of this, he doesn't pass the LeBron James "tornado test.")
Fill free to correct me on this. It's not a scientific study. One issue I've already noticed is the heavy reliance on players on the big clubs, though that's logical.
Saturday:
* Everton v. Manchester United -- (Live, ESPN2, 7:30 a.m.) I'd be curious to see what kind of an audience ESPN draws for this match. The biggest club in the world, at least to anglophiles, playing against the best American player -- Landon Donovan. It's a shame isn't so damn early -- 4:30 a.m. on the West Coast? How does 30f pull it off? (Wait, he's rubbing elbows with Hollywood actors, including a certain United-supporting ex-Hobbit in sunny Los Angeles, so don't feel too bad for him.) As for the game, the Maroune Felliani injury is a blow to David Moyes club, which can't catch a break. Then again, the afro-ed Belgian was on the giving end of plenty of crunching tackles, so what goes around comes around. Perhaps Sir Alex has to gameplan against Donovan's speed for this one, meaning Rafael instead of John O'Shea. Still, United have won 13 times at Ewood Park in the Premier League era, and I'm sure Rooney will have something to do with extending that number to 14. ... Everton 1, Manchester United 2
* West Ham v. Hull City -- The Irons look like they're getting their act together, with three-straight clean sheets at home. A game like this is one they conceivably have to win to avoid the drop. On the plus side for Hull, Jimmy Bullard might play for the first time since Dec. 5 and everybody's a winner when he's on the field. Hard to find a more likable personality in the league. The way these two play, the goals might flow, hear me Jozy? ... West Ham 3, Hull City 2
* Wolves v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Classic Premier League decision, fining Wolves when Mick McCarthy pretty much conceded defeat to Manchester United by fielding a second-string team when they had won against Spurs three days earlier and then had a winnable match vs. Burnley up next. Stupid, stupid, stupid. McCarthy actually makes a sound tactical move, albeit one where he waved the white flag and gets fined. Terrific. Of concern for Chelsea, since December in away league games the Blues have one win (vs. Burnley) with two losses and three draws. But are Wolves good enough to hold them? ... Wolves 0, Chelsea 1
* Arsenal v. Sunderland -- (Live, Setanta, 10 a.m.) Sunderland hasn't won in 12 games since beating Arsenal in November. Who do you think this upsets more Steve Bruce or Arsene Wenger? Give the Gunners a win there and they're just three points off first. It's a funny old game, right? This sets up to be a Gooners rout, but without the defensive players missing in the midweek vs. Porto (Gallas, Almunia) Sunderland might get a couple chances at goal. ... Arsenal 3, Sunderland 1
* Portsmouth v. Stoke City -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Could this be Portsmouth's swan song? Seriously? ... Portsmouth 1, Stoke City 0
Sunday:
* Blackburn v. Bolton -- So far Stuart Holden has come about as close to playing in a Premier League match since moving to Bolton as I have. That's not good. Not for nothing, but Blackburn has a really strange mix of players. Big Sam can't resist the multi-national mix, I suppose. ... Blackburn 1, Bolton 1
* Aston Villa v. Burnley -- One of these days Villa will break out in the league. This could be it. ... Villa 2, Burnely 0
* Fulham v. Birmingham City -- Well, congrats Alex McLeish. Your team is now closer to 10th place Fulham than fourth place Manchester City. It was fun while it lasted at least. ... Fulham 1, Birmingham City 1
* Manchester City v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Big game? Dare I say a playoff-caliber game? If I'm Rafa Benitez I might simply include Fernando Torres in the team, if only for the mind games it might play with City and the boost it may give your team. Rushing him back from injury, no. But it's hard to hurt yourself sitting on the bench in a tracksuit. Call it a decoy method. And I knew Patrick Vieira was a bad move for City, but never did I think he'd have to serve a three-match ban for kicking Glenn Whelan in the junk. On paper City is better than Liverpool, but in the last month Liverpool have shown a ton of guts, while City have shrunk from the challenge of chasing for fourth. Even saying that, City are probably due a big game and seeing Liverpool should inspire the team. Emmanuel Adebayor seems to infuriate fans and foes alike, so he'll likely have a big game Sunday. ... City 2, Liverpool 0
* Wigan Athletic v. Spurs -- (Live, FSC, noon) Congrats Tottenham, nobody else is matching the 9-1 beat down you inflicted on Wigan. Too bad your season peaked on Nov. 23. Methinks the Latics will remember that one. Maybe they'll even run a tractor over the pitch to make it extra ragged. ... Wigan 2, Spurs 1
Last round: 3-7 (Didn't pick this week's midweek matches.)
Season: 132-119
Labels: Arsenal, cesc fabregas, fernando torres, Liverpool, Prem Picks, Premier League, Soccer, Wayne Rooney
The NBA Real Trade Value is one of about four Simmon's articles I check into every year. I think doing an EPL one is cool but very hard. With only five players on a court at a time and the ball in the hands of stars most of the game NBA basketball allows for very little argument about the top 10. A soccer list is gonna produce a lot of disagreements.....
- Dempsey is playing well for Fulham but hes no where near a top 10 guy. If there were straight up trades in soccer Fulham would trade him for 10+ players on each Chelsea, Man U, L'pool, or Arsenal.
- Cesc Fabregas - I agree with your point why in the world would he consider going to Barca. I just can't say he is top 4 when he doesn't start for Spain, even though Spain is phenomenal right now. What has he really led Arsenal to? Durant is a top 4 NBA player right now without winning anything but does that apply to these EPL rankings?
-Aaron Lennon is good but is he way better than Nani, Valencia, Yossi, Maluda, Nasri, A Young, Kuyt, and others?
Agree- The stud strikers, Essien, and Shawcross.
One omission- Patrice Evra- With all the problems Sir Alex goes through every week when putting together his back four, locking in Evra almost every week for last 3 years is great... he's up there on best outside backs in world.
Love this post man!
I'm an also intrigued about the whole Vidic issue. Saw another article yesterday saying he intended to stay until "his contract is up" (summer 2012). I know he has had injuries but while on the pitch, he has been extremely inconsistent.
Deuce is definitely a tough omission!
I would choose Defoe over Lennon anyeay, I know Spurs have faltered since Lennon's been injured, but they would be in the bottom half of the table if it were not for Defo'e goals...and I think he would make a good right mid in my team lol!
And I have to agree with the above on Evra, what a stud that guy is....ever present in the United line up (oh and when he arrived at Old Trafford he had the unenviable job of replacing Heinze!)
Those aren't elbows I am rubbing.
Another excellent post. The trade value thing is so hard in soccer, since you are much more likely to have specialized players doing specific things. Kuyt, Scholes or JS Park are valuable for their teams but would be way less useful on Wigan or Burnley. The opposite of that is someone like Jimmy Bullard who would never get off the bench for Arsenal, but is the magic straw that stirs the drink for Fulham/Hull.
Why Fabergas would even glance at Barça escapes me. I understand the home town team factor. Cesc DOES seem frustrated with the lack of progress at Arsenal (see his comments about schoolboy defending in this week's CL match) but would he really rather go split time in Barcelona? That "returning to your home-town team" thing will be available to him later in his career, so why do it now and then end up wanting to leave Barça (and be a villain) when he is 28 in the quest for more playing time so he can make the Spain Euro/WC starting eleven. I bet that Cesc is NOT considered a superstar within Spain, he doesn't even start or play much for their national team - he is way *bigger* in England.
Arteta is a mini-version of that for Everton - except he is always hurt. Arteta is an amazing player, but his valuable is much, much smaller because his health is so undependable.
When England writers and media types trumpet England's chances in the World Cup I remind myself that Arteta and Fabregas don't even get to play for Spain. Wouldn't they both be automatic starters for England? Unless the press insisted that the ever more Ent-like Beckham play until he is 65. Spain is loaded.
One thing you have to consider with the "salary" article that you linked is that it does not take into account taxes. Unlike in the US, where a largest portion of a player's tax (the Federal portion) is constant, it varies wildly across Europe. For example, a huge (and quite well known) draw for the big name players to play in Spain is it's staggering "low" (relatively) tax rate for non-domicile players: 25%. Compare that with the 50% tax rate in the UK and you see the actual difference in pocket money is rather large.
And it's not like players and their agents don't know that, so they purposefully bump up their salary demands to offset this difference in tax rates.
So yeah, sure City is "paying" Adebayor 7.4 million, but he's only pocketing about 3.7million, meaning that someone making about 4.9 million in Spain gets to pocket about as much (below Kanoute but above David Villa). Just something to keep in mind when perusing this list.
As for where the money comes from? Borrowed from banks, leveraged against the club grounds and future revenues of course.
How on Earth does Victor Valdez make as much as Iker Casillas??!!
I can't believe how low salaries are relative to transfer fees, and relative to other major sports too, though players do often get some percentage of their transfer fee, so that probably needs to be figured in too. And yet supposedly wage demands are what are driving the bottom-tier teams out of business more than anything. Which kind of makes sense in that you have places like Burnley trying to support a top-tier professional sports franchise with only 75,000 people. The England-based fanbase is just not big or rich enough to support 20 Premier League teams and 15 other yo-yo clubs that have some pretensions to the top flight in the long run. And that on top of the 10 tiers or whatever of lower divisions to boot.
This tells me that the Premier League and FA need to find a way to better translate their international appeal into dollars, er, pounds, probably by skipping country-by-country rights and going to direct satellite or online PPV for the biggest matches. They could easily get a billion people to shell out a buck apiece for each Big 4 matchup.
Unfortunately that international appeal is fairly limited to the Big 4, and they likely aren't too happy about subsidizing the rest of the structure in the long run, even though they totally could and still would have billions left over to split between themselves. But they either have to do that or else go to a European superleague model in the long run.
It'll be interesting to see what happens. With so much global money sloshing around, the players are going to want (and deserve) to be paid on the same level as American pro athletes, but the only way that's sustainable is if the old local structures break down or the big teams agree to pay to keep them alive in zombified form indefinitely.
It would also help if the balance between transfer fees and wages changed some. It seems to me that they should be paying less for players but paying them more in salary. Is that an agent-driven thing? Do agents only get a chunk of the fees, and not a percentage of wages like in America?
Why wouldn't Cesc move to Barcelona? He's from there, the pay would be the same if not better, weather is a lot nicer, and unlike Arsenal they actually win stuff. Plus in Barcelona he could be just a cog in the machine instead of having the pressure of being the captain.
Coach -
My point was that moving to Barça would put Cesc in the position of fighting for playing time, something he does NOT have to do at Arsenal. The UK media might see Fabregas as a World XI talent who would walk into the team at Barça, but that is NOT how he is seen in Spain (doesn't even start for national side). You are right, that if he wants less pressure - then going someplace where he is cog might ease that, but that doesn't seem like Fabregas's personality.
The main thing is that if Cesc goes to Barça he cannot leave without being vilified as a traitor in his home town. If he goes there and finds himself nailed to the bench behind Iniesta (which is VERY likely), then he has very little wiggle room. If Cesc wants out of Arsenal (reasonable, in my book) it makes more sense for him to go to another big team in England or Italy and then heading to Barça for good around age 30 for that hero's twilight (see Raul at Real Madrid).