"I know your anger, I know your dreams
I've been everything you wanna be ohhh…
I'm the Cult of Personality" -- Living Colour, "Cult of Personality."
Remember those amazing old stickers you'd see around cities, "Andre the Giant Has a Posse?"
Maybe we ought to amend it to Didier Drogba has a posse. Or at least a cult.
This is a strange cult though, since it seems to have a massive hold on celebrities and other athletes. Why else was Matt Damon shown a couple times at Stamford Bridge Sunday during Chelsea's 2-0 win over Arsenal, which neutered the Premier League into a two-horse race? I'll bet good money that Damon is a Drogba fan.
Same thing with Kevin Garnett and Will Ferrell (Really, this picture if desktop-background worthy. It may even explain why "Land of the Lost" was produced.). Possibly Snoop Dogg, too.
Remember that guy Ian Johnson, the running back on Boise State. I remember reading in "Sports Illustrated" how he somehow got a call from Drogba after Boise's famous win over Oklahoma in Fiesta Bowl a couple years ago. Johnson said how much of a fan he was of Drogba's, mainly through playing "FIFA".
What is it about Drogba that makes American athletes awed by him? It is the size, strength and pace? Is it that because when many American sports fans first started looking across the Atlantic, it was Drogba bulling Chelsea to a pair of Premier League titles in the mid 2000s?
Could it simply be his hair, which defies normal classification?
On a personal level, a couple years ago I was at a bar wearing my orange Cote D'Ivoire t-shirt. Some dude started talking to me and every other word out of his mouth was Drogba.
I nodded and walked away, slowly.
With performances like Sunday, it's easy to like Drogba, or at least his game. The big Ivorian is a force of nature. He is the prototype for the modern striker -- fast, big, strong, relentless & skilled. (As a counterweight, don't forget his incredulous, at times, antics with the refs, his former sneaky use of his hands to bring down balls and his general boorish on-field demeanor. And is it pronounced DROG-ba, or drough-ba?)
It's interesting how the last two Premier League weekends broke down. A week ago, Wayne Rooney continued his fantastic season, helping Manchester United down Arsenal. Sunday it was Drogba with two goals, including an incredible one-man effort on the second, in 25 minutes to put the Gunners to bed.
As great as that goal was, as he slalomed through the Arsenal defense (again caught on the counter), Drogba's best moment might have been late in the match with his rasping freekick that rocketed off the crossbar. If Manuel Alumnia somehow had the reaction speed to get a body part in its way, the result would have been the famous video of the fat guy getting shot in the gut with the cannonball.
Nine points back, Arsenal are almost assuredly done and have Drogba to thank for ending their season. The Gunners are now closer to fourth-place Liverpool, yes Liverpool, than first-place Chelsea.
Quite simply, when I saw that the Gunners' front line was Samir Nasri, Andrey Arshavin and Theo Walcott, I sensed the game over. If this was a Cirque de Soleil production, Arsenal would win hands down. A Premier League match against the top team in the league? Not so much.
Back to Chelsea and Drogba.
It should be fun, the coming weeks, to watch Drogba and Rooney engage in a battle of "Can You Top This?" (McDonald's England division, are you listening?) The strikers are invaluable to their teams, though Chelsea has more in reserve and across the rest of the field than United. More importantly, they're both taking their games to levels where every time they set foot on the field it's must-watch television.
They're both gunnin' for the proverbial "No. 1 Spot", on personal and team levels.
Me, I can't wait to see Drogba v. Rooney and Chelsea v. United. Too bad they only play once in the league in April.
Hey You Guys:
Now this isn't something that Tom Hicks track record would seem to indicate, but the much-maligned co-owner of Liverpool ought to consider making a nice hefty donation to Dirk Kuyt's favorite charity at the end of the season. Where would Liverpool be without the Dutch Utilityman?
Once again Kuyt rescued Liverpool three points with a decent header, which Tim Howard and Phil Neville both decided against trying to stop, giving Liverpool a 1-0 win at Anfield in the Merseyside DERBY (this one deserves all caps treatment).
Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch.
This one came with a free Advil.
Thankfully we avoided any compound fractures, though it came close.
Of course the rough-and-tumble play isn't too hard to believe when you have Javier Mashcherano, Maroune Fellaini, Sotirios Kyrgiakos, Neville, et al on the field. (Don't forget, the first line in the Anfield rap is, "Liverpool FC is hard as nails.")
Referee Martin Atkinson lost the proverbial plot early, or his eyesight. How Fellaini didn't get a straight red for stamping both feet on Kyrgiakos defies explanation. You'd think a guy with a gigantic, fantastic afro would be all sorts of California cool and laid back. Wrong. Fellaini is like Ben Wallace circa 2003 with the Pistons -- Fear the Fro.
As for the actual match?
Credit, for a change, Liverpool for digging in with 10 men and holding off Everton. How David Moyes' team -- even with the insertion on Mikel Arteta -- couldn't break down the Reds defense was hard to fathom. Was it good Liverpool defense or a complete lack of ingenuity by Everton? Or a dash of both?
The game probably should have ended 0-0, but again, credit Liverpool -- specifically Kuyt -- for capitalizing on a set play and taking home the full three-point bounty. Considering how many points Liverpool have given away this season, karmically they were due.
And Landon Donovan in his first, possibly last, Merseyside Derby? Meh. Nothing that really stood out. His speed was again useful, but he faded away in the second half. Oh well. A goal at Anfield by El Landito might have caused a rip in the space-time continuum. Hell, Donovan suceeding in England might mean we're already on an alternative timeline, meaning Oceanic flight 815 landed safely at LAX.
Feasting on cupcakes:
With apologies to Arsenal and Chelsea, nobody eats fat on as many empty calories than Manchester United. Yes, Arsenal and Chelsea tend to blow away some of the less teams by larger scorelines, especially at home, but United don't lose to the bottom dwellers.
Call it mystique. Call it aura. Call it whichever stripper name of your choosing, it exists to a degree.
I overheard on like Sky Sports at 3 a.m. that Portsmouth hadn't won a league game at Old Trafford since roughly 1955. Yes, the two clubs were in different divisions, so they didn't play every season, but still, 1955. That's something.
United have five losses this season: Burnley, Chelsea, Liverpool, Aston Villa and Fulham. Okay, one hiccup with the Clarets in the second game of the season. Otherwise all top-half of the table squads.
Here are the Red Devils losses in winning three-straight Prem crowns:
2008-09 -- Liverpool x 2, Arsenal, Fulham.
2007-08 -- Bolton, West Ham, Manchester City x 2, Chelsea
2006-07 -- Arsenal x 2, West Ham x 2*, Portsmouth
(* Second loss was the infamous "Tevez Game.")
Does this prove anything tangible?
Manchester United isn't nearly as good as previous years, but the form of Wayne Rooney and ability to psyche out the lesser teams -- especially at Old Trafford -- might be enough to keep them chugging along with Chelsea, or at least until the armeggedon showdown at Old Trafford on April 3.
Saturday? What can you say about United crushing Portsmouth 5-0? It was sad.
At this point you have to just feel bad for Porstmouth and its comedy of errors. This isn't like pounding on the current New Jersey Nets in the NBA. In Pompey's case, at least fans still care about the team. And even if the Nets set a new low for NBA total wins (9), nobody really cares and the team gets to live another day.
Portsmouth faces relegation and possible death, since the club has no money.
Amazingly, the three own-goals allowed by Portsmouth on Saturday is still less than the amount of owners the club has had this season.
In any other arena, someone would have had the mercy to deliver Portsmouth a kill shot to put them out of their misery.
Who's on Fourth?
The twists-and-turns for the final Champions League spot took another turn with Liverpool assuming the position on 43 points, one better than Spurs and two better than Manchester City and Aston Villa.
As I've been writing, these are all flawed teams. If they weren't, they'd be fighting for first, not fourth. The team that screws up the least, will probably end up with the Michel Platini-endorsed money bags.
It dawned on me, this is like when the Academy Award is duty bound to award a Best Picture Oscar in a given year. Some years there are more than one worthy winner ("No Country For Old Men"/"There Will Be Blood." as a recent example.)
Other times, well, lesser fare fits the bill by default.
Many years there isn't really a best picture. As I researched this I was floored when I looked back at the last decade. "Chicago"? "Crash"? "A Beautiful Mind"? Again, the lesson here is, award shows are simply an excuse for celebs to lavish praise on each other.
Sorry Marty, but "The Departed" winning you a sentimental Oscar in 2006 proves my point for fourth place. "The Departed" is an enjoyable HBO-type rewatchable flick. It has some moments, but Best Picture? Even "The Simpsons" took a shot at the rat on screen at the end. Gun to my head, for recent Boston-area crime tales, I'm picking "Gone Baby Gone" even with dual Affleck involvement.
That said, by default Martin Sheen getting tossed off a roof was better than the four other contenders -- "Babel", "Letters from Iwo Jima", "Little Miss Sunshine" and "The Queen."
Somebody had to win the statue.
So if there's a moral to this stupidity, you're better off convincing Rafa Benitez, Harry Redknapp, Martin O'Neill and Roberto Mancini to start speaking in bad, broad and over-the-top Boston accents like Jack Nicholson, rather than growing Steve Carrell's Proustian beard.
(If you're wondering, actually, "The English Patient" inspired me to make this comparison, but in 1996 "Fargo" was also nominated for Best Picture, so at least there was one worthy movie in the final five. "Jerry McGuire", "Shine" and "Secrets & Lies" were the other finalists.)
Defcon Jozy:
Maybe it's a good idea, since as fans of the USMNT we like to react and overreact over the slightest globule of information, that we devise a "Jozy Rater". Perhaps assign a color code for each week like the Terror Warning system, or the Defcon rating. That could get confusing.
Then again, do we want to equate Jozy's success to the threat of global annihilation? Take your time to mull it over.
After showing signs of life for Hull City last week, Altidore was instrumental in the Tigers' nice 2-1 win over Manchester City. Obviously we can talk about Jozy's 31st minute goal, where he made a sneaky, looping run behind Jan Venegoor of Hesselink to enable him latch onto the Dutchman's pass in stride and fire past Shay Given.
That was nice. (No Borat, remember him, impression needed.)
What was more promising for U.S. fans was Altidore's ability to make the Man City defense look out-and-out silly. Kolo Toure -- who is always one of the players cited when you label Cote D'Ivoire a World Cup threat -- couldn't contain Jozy. Neither could DedryckTatum Boyata.
These two were clutching and grabbing more than a couple 45-year-old housewives at a department store whites sale. (Hi-oh!)
At times I've been critical of Altidore looking frail and going to ground. He's obviously not as tank-like as the Drogbas of the world, but he's big enough and quick enough that your average defender has difficulty tracking him.
The way the USMNT is set up, it'd be a little more reassuring to see Altidore as more of an aerial threat, but that's nit-picking. If Bradley plays a lone striker, Atlidore again doesn't quite fit the bill.
Working under the assumption, that even with all his hard work through rehab that Charlie Davies is still an extreme longshot, Altidore is the only U.S. forward that has a realistic shot of causing the opposing defenses to gameplan and worry about him. The Chings/Caseys/Cunninghams all play right into the hands of Enger-land.
Bottom line, after watching Algeria get shredded at the African Cup of Nations, it causes the imagination to dream of what a player like Altidore could do against them -- so long as the Desert Foxes "keep it G".
Other stuff:
Fox Soccer continuing to taunt us with the promise of HD is exactly the right move for them. Yes, nobody gets it right now, but how else to get cable companies to add the channel than for fans to call up and demand it? It's annoying, but smart business. ... Needed to look it up, everyone's favorite migrant Egyptian striker Mido is only 26 years old. Now on loan at West Ham, he's playing for his 11th club -- fourth on loan. Bottom line, when an Egyptian player takes off the national team shirt, he is a different player. ... New Burnley player Danny Fox is yet ANOTHER dude in the Premier League with an arm sleeve tattoo. If we're keeping score at home he joins: Tim Cahill, Jonathan Greening, Matty Taylor, Kevin Prince-Boateng and Danny Agger. Forgetting anyone? Please provide photo evidence. ... Premier League "mongo" fan of the week. The dude at in the front row at Stamford Bridge with a faux-hawk, holding up a white t-shirt with this "TERRY IS MR CHELSEA LEGEND" scrawled on it. Punctuation, naturally, was optional. ... Was that Matt Damon at the Bridge? Couldn't think of a worthwhile joke. Meh. ... Good, not great goal by Mohamed Diame for Wigan vs. Sunderland, in the Utterly Forgettable Bowl. ... George Boa-TENG!!! That was a sizzler vs. Man City. ... Speaking of City, the exhumed corpse of Patrick Vieira made its debut this weekend. Even I can't beat thishorse joke further to death, or can I? ... Nobody can quite suck the air out of a match better than Aston Villa right now, which I guess is a back-handed compliment about their stout defense. ... For what it's worth, the top four teams last season ended with a combined 17 defeats. This year with about 13 matches left it's already at 20. By comparison, Liverpool had two defeats last season, this year already seven. The Surreal Season, it be.
Fantasy Team O' the week:
Weekly top honors go to a team mired near the bottom of the table. Some squad called "Jammy Donut Shots" managed by, what must be a fake name, "Nick Aquilino." Who? Huh? Anyway, this probably fake squad got 76 points thanks to Drogba, Lampard, Nani, Shawcross and Jussi J. Well done, if that is your real name. I'm guessing it's an alias for former Argentina national team coach and avid smoker, Carlos Bilardo.
I know, too inside.
Your prize is a steaming turd on the scales of justice.
One more thing:
Not rants or raves this week, just thanks to everyone that takes the time to post a comment. Honestly, a lot of times your comments are more insightful and illuminating that the drivel I sometimes produce. I always feel smarter after reading them. It's what makes doing this such a worthwhile hobby. So if you never post, just make sure you read them. It's good stuff, so tell your soccer-watching friends.
I'm make on more plug for my Twitter, since I tend to binge on the snide comments during the matches. No sense repeating how overrated Theo Walcott is in two places. (Imagine how different the commentary would be if he weren't English?)
Midweek picks:
The League is at it again, a full slate of midweek action. Must be great for the working slobs in England, to come home and watch a game. For us here in the States? Not nearly as good.
Some of this games are massive, too.
Tuesday:
* Portsmouth v. Sunderland -- For Portsmouth to even begin dreaming about the "Great Escape II : Avram's Electric Bugaloo" it needs to figure out a way to take three points here. Even with Sunderland in a major tailspin, Portsmouth is too disorganized defensively to stop Bent/Jones. ... Portsmouth 1, Sunderland 2
* Wigan Athletic v. Stoke City -- "Everybody hates us, we don't care." ... Wigan 2, Stoke 0
* Manchester City v. Bolton -- (Live, Setanta, 2:45 p.m.) So when City were kicking ass and taking names, was it just a product of Carlos Tevez "Hulking up"? Before long trying to shore up the City defense is going to become an on-going quagmire akin to ... well, look at the world map and you fill in the blank. ... City 2, Bolton 0
* Fulham v. Burnley -- (Live, FSC, 3 p.m.) In the vein of that classic Tootsie Roll Pop commercial, "How many nil-nil draws does it take for Fulham to avoid the relegation zone"? ... Fulham 0, Burnley 0
Wednesday:
* Arsenal v. Liverpool -- (Live, Setanta, 2:45 p.m.) Based on the weekend, this match is impossible to predict. There I said it. Do you rate the confidence Liverpool surely has after beating Everton? Or does the Emirates give Arsenal an edge? At least with Fernando Torres sidelined, Arsenal doesn't need to compete with another Rooney or Drogba-like on-form forward. This might sound silly, but Arsenal could use a grinder like Kuyt near the front of goal right now. Just a guy that might not play champagne football, but gets the job done. Somehow Arsenal has to find a way to win this match, otherwise the whispers of finishing outside the top four creep back into play. Arsene Wenger can't allow that scenario to happen. I'm beginning to wonder if the lingering Cesc/Barcelona rumors have a little something to them. ... Arsenal 1, Liverpool 0
* West Ham v. Birmingham City -- Pretty soon West Ham will have to realize that they have to bank some points, not simply wait for the other teams to rot further below them. Based on getting two goals in the final 10 minutes Sunday vs. Wolves, it looks like Birmingham might be able to go on another nice little unbeaten run. ... West Ham 1, Birmingham City 1
* Wolves v. Tottenham -- Two teams that's can't seem to score right now, or at least with any consistency. If Spurs are going to challenge for fourth, Peter Crouch has to step up his game. Jermain Defoe can't do it alone. And since Croatia missed out on the World Cup and had the epic defeat to Turkey at the last Euro, can we consider them non-clutch? Spurs has three Croat internationals logging major minutes -- Kranjcar, Modric and Corluka. Prolly just a coincidence, no? ... Wolves 0, Spurs 1
* Aston Villa v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, 2:45 p.m.) How long has it been since we've heard Ashley Young's name? A month? Two? Has he been injured? This is a perfect place to test the Manchester United theory. Can this team get a result on the road against a quality opponent? Even in a weakened state, the United defense should be able to cope with the Villa attack. Until Rooney slows down, I'll sticking with the hot foot, even with Big Brad in goal. ... Villa 0, Manchester United 1
* Blackburn Rovers v. Hull City -- Boringly, Blackburn can win enough of these type of matches at Ewood and avoid the drop. ... Blackburn 2, Hull City 1
* Everton v. Chelsea -- Wonder if losing to Liverpool takes all the wind out of Everton's sails. That was a pretty horrible loss and it's not like Chelsea is the easy way to rebound. Everton is a good, solid team, but not strong enough vs. Chelsea. ... Everton 0, Chelsea 2
Last round: 4-6
Season: 129-112
I've been everything you wanna be ohhh…
I'm the Cult of Personality" -- Living Colour, "Cult of Personality."
Remember those amazing old stickers you'd see around cities, "Andre the Giant Has a Posse?"
Maybe we ought to amend it to Didier Drogba has a posse. Or at least a cult.
This is a strange cult though, since it seems to have a massive hold on celebrities and other athletes. Why else was Matt Damon shown a couple times at Stamford Bridge Sunday during Chelsea's 2-0 win over Arsenal, which neutered the Premier League into a two-horse race? I'll bet good money that Damon is a Drogba fan.
Same thing with Kevin Garnett and Will Ferrell (Really, this picture if desktop-background worthy. It may even explain why "Land of the Lost" was produced.). Possibly Snoop Dogg, too.
Remember that guy Ian Johnson, the running back on Boise State. I remember reading in "Sports Illustrated" how he somehow got a call from Drogba after Boise's famous win over Oklahoma in Fiesta Bowl a couple years ago. Johnson said how much of a fan he was of Drogba's, mainly through playing "FIFA".
What is it about Drogba that makes American athletes awed by him? It is the size, strength and pace? Is it that because when many American sports fans first started looking across the Atlantic, it was Drogba bulling Chelsea to a pair of Premier League titles in the mid 2000s?
Could it simply be his hair, which defies normal classification?
On a personal level, a couple years ago I was at a bar wearing my orange Cote D'Ivoire t-shirt. Some dude started talking to me and every other word out of his mouth was Drogba.
I nodded and walked away, slowly.
With performances like Sunday, it's easy to like Drogba, or at least his game. The big Ivorian is a force of nature. He is the prototype for the modern striker -- fast, big, strong, relentless & skilled. (As a counterweight, don't forget his incredulous, at times, antics with the refs, his former sneaky use of his hands to bring down balls and his general boorish on-field demeanor. And is it pronounced DROG-ba, or drough-ba?)
It's interesting how the last two Premier League weekends broke down. A week ago, Wayne Rooney continued his fantastic season, helping Manchester United down Arsenal. Sunday it was Drogba with two goals, including an incredible one-man effort on the second, in 25 minutes to put the Gunners to bed.
As great as that goal was, as he slalomed through the Arsenal defense (again caught on the counter), Drogba's best moment might have been late in the match with his rasping freekick that rocketed off the crossbar. If Manuel Alumnia somehow had the reaction speed to get a body part in its way, the result would have been the famous video of the fat guy getting shot in the gut with the cannonball.
Nine points back, Arsenal are almost assuredly done and have Drogba to thank for ending their season. The Gunners are now closer to fourth-place Liverpool, yes Liverpool, than first-place Chelsea.
Quite simply, when I saw that the Gunners' front line was Samir Nasri, Andrey Arshavin and Theo Walcott, I sensed the game over. If this was a Cirque de Soleil production, Arsenal would win hands down. A Premier League match against the top team in the league? Not so much.
Back to Chelsea and Drogba.
It should be fun, the coming weeks, to watch Drogba and Rooney engage in a battle of "Can You Top This?" (McDonald's England division, are you listening?) The strikers are invaluable to their teams, though Chelsea has more in reserve and across the rest of the field than United. More importantly, they're both taking their games to levels where every time they set foot on the field it's must-watch television.
They're both gunnin' for the proverbial "No. 1 Spot", on personal and team levels.
Me, I can't wait to see Drogba v. Rooney and Chelsea v. United. Too bad they only play once in the league in April.
Hey You Guys:
Now this isn't something that Tom Hicks track record would seem to indicate, but the much-maligned co-owner of Liverpool ought to consider making a nice hefty donation to Dirk Kuyt's favorite charity at the end of the season. Where would Liverpool be without the Dutch Utilityman?
Once again Kuyt rescued Liverpool three points with a decent header, which Tim Howard and Phil Neville both decided against trying to stop, giving Liverpool a 1-0 win at Anfield in the Merseyside DERBY (this one deserves all caps treatment).
Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch.
This one came with a free Advil.
Thankfully we avoided any compound fractures, though it came close.
Of course the rough-and-tumble play isn't too hard to believe when you have Javier Mashcherano, Maroune Fellaini, Sotirios Kyrgiakos, Neville, et al on the field. (Don't forget, the first line in the Anfield rap is, "Liverpool FC is hard as nails.")
Referee Martin Atkinson lost the proverbial plot early, or his eyesight. How Fellaini didn't get a straight red for stamping both feet on Kyrgiakos defies explanation. You'd think a guy with a gigantic, fantastic afro would be all sorts of California cool and laid back. Wrong. Fellaini is like Ben Wallace circa 2003 with the Pistons -- Fear the Fro.
As for the actual match?
Credit, for a change, Liverpool for digging in with 10 men and holding off Everton. How David Moyes' team -- even with the insertion on Mikel Arteta -- couldn't break down the Reds defense was hard to fathom. Was it good Liverpool defense or a complete lack of ingenuity by Everton? Or a dash of both?
The game probably should have ended 0-0, but again, credit Liverpool -- specifically Kuyt -- for capitalizing on a set play and taking home the full three-point bounty. Considering how many points Liverpool have given away this season, karmically they were due.
And Landon Donovan in his first, possibly last, Merseyside Derby? Meh. Nothing that really stood out. His speed was again useful, but he faded away in the second half. Oh well. A goal at Anfield by El Landito might have caused a rip in the space-time continuum. Hell, Donovan suceeding in England might mean we're already on an alternative timeline, meaning Oceanic flight 815 landed safely at LAX.
Feasting on cupcakes:
With apologies to Arsenal and Chelsea, nobody eats fat on as many empty calories than Manchester United. Yes, Arsenal and Chelsea tend to blow away some of the less teams by larger scorelines, especially at home, but United don't lose to the bottom dwellers.
Call it mystique. Call it aura. Call it whichever stripper name of your choosing, it exists to a degree.
I overheard on like Sky Sports at 3 a.m. that Portsmouth hadn't won a league game at Old Trafford since roughly 1955. Yes, the two clubs were in different divisions, so they didn't play every season, but still, 1955. That's something.
United have five losses this season: Burnley, Chelsea, Liverpool, Aston Villa and Fulham. Okay, one hiccup with the Clarets in the second game of the season. Otherwise all top-half of the table squads.
Here are the Red Devils losses in winning three-straight Prem crowns:
2008-09 -- Liverpool x 2, Arsenal, Fulham.
2007-08 -- Bolton, West Ham, Manchester City x 2, Chelsea
2006-07 -- Arsenal x 2, West Ham x 2*, Portsmouth
(* Second loss was the infamous "Tevez Game.")
Does this prove anything tangible?
Manchester United isn't nearly as good as previous years, but the form of Wayne Rooney and ability to psyche out the lesser teams -- especially at Old Trafford -- might be enough to keep them chugging along with Chelsea, or at least until the armeggedon showdown at Old Trafford on April 3.
Saturday? What can you say about United crushing Portsmouth 5-0? It was sad.
At this point you have to just feel bad for Porstmouth and its comedy of errors. This isn't like pounding on the current New Jersey Nets in the NBA. In Pompey's case, at least fans still care about the team. And even if the Nets set a new low for NBA total wins (9), nobody really cares and the team gets to live another day.
Portsmouth faces relegation and possible death, since the club has no money.
Amazingly, the three own-goals allowed by Portsmouth on Saturday is still less than the amount of owners the club has had this season.
In any other arena, someone would have had the mercy to deliver Portsmouth a kill shot to put them out of their misery.
Who's on Fourth?
The twists-and-turns for the final Champions League spot took another turn with Liverpool assuming the position on 43 points, one better than Spurs and two better than Manchester City and Aston Villa.
As I've been writing, these are all flawed teams. If they weren't, they'd be fighting for first, not fourth. The team that screws up the least, will probably end up with the Michel Platini-endorsed money bags.
It dawned on me, this is like when the Academy Award is duty bound to award a Best Picture Oscar in a given year. Some years there are more than one worthy winner ("No Country For Old Men"/"There Will Be Blood." as a recent example.)
Other times, well, lesser fare fits the bill by default.
Many years there isn't really a best picture. As I researched this I was floored when I looked back at the last decade. "Chicago"? "Crash"? "A Beautiful Mind"? Again, the lesson here is, award shows are simply an excuse for celebs to lavish praise on each other.
Sorry Marty, but "The Departed" winning you a sentimental Oscar in 2006 proves my point for fourth place. "The Departed" is an enjoyable HBO-type rewatchable flick. It has some moments, but Best Picture? Even "The Simpsons" took a shot at the rat on screen at the end. Gun to my head, for recent Boston-area crime tales, I'm picking "Gone Baby Gone" even with dual Affleck involvement.
That said, by default Martin Sheen getting tossed off a roof was better than the four other contenders -- "Babel", "Letters from Iwo Jima", "Little Miss Sunshine" and "The Queen."
Somebody had to win the statue.
So if there's a moral to this stupidity, you're better off convincing Rafa Benitez, Harry Redknapp, Martin O'Neill and Roberto Mancini to start speaking in bad, broad and over-the-top Boston accents like Jack Nicholson, rather than growing Steve Carrell's Proustian beard.
(If you're wondering, actually, "The English Patient" inspired me to make this comparison, but in 1996 "Fargo" was also nominated for Best Picture, so at least there was one worthy movie in the final five. "Jerry McGuire", "Shine" and "Secrets & Lies" were the other finalists.)
Defcon Jozy:
Maybe it's a good idea, since as fans of the USMNT we like to react and overreact over the slightest globule of information, that we devise a "Jozy Rater". Perhaps assign a color code for each week like the Terror Warning system, or the Defcon rating. That could get confusing.
Then again, do we want to equate Jozy's success to the threat of global annihilation? Take your time to mull it over.
After showing signs of life for Hull City last week, Altidore was instrumental in the Tigers' nice 2-1 win over Manchester City. Obviously we can talk about Jozy's 31st minute goal, where he made a sneaky, looping run behind Jan Venegoor of Hesselink to enable him latch onto the Dutchman's pass in stride and fire past Shay Given.
That was nice. (No Borat, remember him, impression needed.)
What was more promising for U.S. fans was Altidore's ability to make the Man City defense look out-and-out silly. Kolo Toure -- who is always one of the players cited when you label Cote D'Ivoire a World Cup threat -- couldn't contain Jozy. Neither could Dedryck
These two were clutching and grabbing more than a couple 45-year-old housewives at a department store whites sale. (Hi-oh!)
At times I've been critical of Altidore looking frail and going to ground. He's obviously not as tank-like as the Drogbas of the world, but he's big enough and quick enough that your average defender has difficulty tracking him.
The way the USMNT is set up, it'd be a little more reassuring to see Altidore as more of an aerial threat, but that's nit-picking. If Bradley plays a lone striker, Atlidore again doesn't quite fit the bill.
Working under the assumption, that even with all his hard work through rehab that Charlie Davies is still an extreme longshot, Altidore is the only U.S. forward that has a realistic shot of causing the opposing defenses to gameplan and worry about him. The Chings/Caseys/Cunninghams all play right into the hands of Enger-land.
Bottom line, after watching Algeria get shredded at the African Cup of Nations, it causes the imagination to dream of what a player like Altidore could do against them -- so long as the Desert Foxes "keep it G".
Other stuff:
Fox Soccer continuing to taunt us with the promise of HD is exactly the right move for them. Yes, nobody gets it right now, but how else to get cable companies to add the channel than for fans to call up and demand it? It's annoying, but smart business. ... Needed to look it up, everyone's favorite migrant Egyptian striker Mido is only 26 years old. Now on loan at West Ham, he's playing for his 11th club -- fourth on loan. Bottom line, when an Egyptian player takes off the national team shirt, he is a different player. ... New Burnley player Danny Fox is yet ANOTHER dude in the Premier League with an arm sleeve tattoo. If we're keeping score at home he joins: Tim Cahill, Jonathan Greening, Matty Taylor, Kevin Prince-Boateng and Danny Agger. Forgetting anyone? Please provide photo evidence. ... Premier League "mongo" fan of the week. The dude at in the front row at Stamford Bridge with a faux-hawk, holding up a white t-shirt with this "TERRY IS MR CHELSEA LEGEND" scrawled on it. Punctuation, naturally, was optional. ... Was that Matt Damon at the Bridge? Couldn't think of a worthwhile joke. Meh. ... Good, not great goal by Mohamed Diame for Wigan vs. Sunderland, in the Utterly Forgettable Bowl. ... George Boa-TENG!!! That was a sizzler vs. Man City. ... Speaking of City, the exhumed corpse of Patrick Vieira made its debut this weekend. Even I can't beat this
Fantasy Team O' the week:
Weekly top honors go to a team mired near the bottom of the table. Some squad called "Jammy Donut Shots" managed by, what must be a fake name, "Nick Aquilino." Who? Huh? Anyway, this probably fake squad got 76 points thanks to Drogba, Lampard, Nani, Shawcross and Jussi J. Well done, if that is your real name. I'm guessing it's an alias for former Argentina national team coach and avid smoker, Carlos Bilardo.
I know, too inside.
Your prize is a steaming turd on the scales of justice.
One more thing:
Not rants or raves this week, just thanks to everyone that takes the time to post a comment. Honestly, a lot of times your comments are more insightful and illuminating that the drivel I sometimes produce. I always feel smarter after reading them. It's what makes doing this such a worthwhile hobby. So if you never post, just make sure you read them. It's good stuff, so tell your soccer-watching friends.
I'm make on more plug for my Twitter, since I tend to binge on the snide comments during the matches. No sense repeating how overrated Theo Walcott is in two places. (Imagine how different the commentary would be if he weren't English?)
Midweek picks:
The League is at it again, a full slate of midweek action. Must be great for the working slobs in England, to come home and watch a game. For us here in the States? Not nearly as good.
Some of this games are massive, too.
Tuesday:
* Portsmouth v. Sunderland -- For Portsmouth to even begin dreaming about the "Great Escape II : Avram's Electric Bugaloo" it needs to figure out a way to take three points here. Even with Sunderland in a major tailspin, Portsmouth is too disorganized defensively to stop Bent/Jones. ... Portsmouth 1, Sunderland 2
* Wigan Athletic v. Stoke City -- "Everybody hates us, we don't care." ... Wigan 2, Stoke 0
* Manchester City v. Bolton -- (Live, Setanta, 2:45 p.m.) So when City were kicking ass and taking names, was it just a product of Carlos Tevez "Hulking up"? Before long trying to shore up the City defense is going to become an on-going quagmire akin to ... well, look at the world map and you fill in the blank. ... City 2, Bolton 0
* Fulham v. Burnley -- (Live, FSC, 3 p.m.) In the vein of that classic Tootsie Roll Pop commercial, "How many nil-nil draws does it take for Fulham to avoid the relegation zone"? ... Fulham 0, Burnley 0
Wednesday:
* Arsenal v. Liverpool -- (Live, Setanta, 2:45 p.m.) Based on the weekend, this match is impossible to predict. There I said it. Do you rate the confidence Liverpool surely has after beating Everton? Or does the Emirates give Arsenal an edge? At least with Fernando Torres sidelined, Arsenal doesn't need to compete with another Rooney or Drogba-like on-form forward. This might sound silly, but Arsenal could use a grinder like Kuyt near the front of goal right now. Just a guy that might not play champagne football, but gets the job done. Somehow Arsenal has to find a way to win this match, otherwise the whispers of finishing outside the top four creep back into play. Arsene Wenger can't allow that scenario to happen. I'm beginning to wonder if the lingering Cesc/Barcelona rumors have a little something to them. ... Arsenal 1, Liverpool 0
* West Ham v. Birmingham City -- Pretty soon West Ham will have to realize that they have to bank some points, not simply wait for the other teams to rot further below them. Based on getting two goals in the final 10 minutes Sunday vs. Wolves, it looks like Birmingham might be able to go on another nice little unbeaten run. ... West Ham 1, Birmingham City 1
* Wolves v. Tottenham -- Two teams that's can't seem to score right now, or at least with any consistency. If Spurs are going to challenge for fourth, Peter Crouch has to step up his game. Jermain Defoe can't do it alone. And since Croatia missed out on the World Cup and had the epic defeat to Turkey at the last Euro, can we consider them non-clutch? Spurs has three Croat internationals logging major minutes -- Kranjcar, Modric and Corluka. Prolly just a coincidence, no? ... Wolves 0, Spurs 1
* Aston Villa v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, 2:45 p.m.) How long has it been since we've heard Ashley Young's name? A month? Two? Has he been injured? This is a perfect place to test the Manchester United theory. Can this team get a result on the road against a quality opponent? Even in a weakened state, the United defense should be able to cope with the Villa attack. Until Rooney slows down, I'll sticking with the hot foot, even with Big Brad in goal. ... Villa 0, Manchester United 1
* Blackburn Rovers v. Hull City -- Boringly, Blackburn can win enough of these type of matches at Ewood and avoid the drop. ... Blackburn 2, Hull City 1
* Everton v. Chelsea -- Wonder if losing to Liverpool takes all the wind out of Everton's sails. That was a pretty horrible loss and it's not like Chelsea is the easy way to rebound. Everton is a good, solid team, but not strong enough vs. Chelsea. ... Everton 0, Chelsea 2
Last round: 4-6
Season: 129-112
Labels: Chelsea, English Premier League, Jozy Altidore, Liverpool, manchester United, Premier League, Soccer
I think Drogba is a perfect storm of attributes that help him appeal to most new/casual fans. He's rocking the hot comb, plays on one of the top teams in the world, scores boatloads of goals (and impressive ones, not anelka like garbage), has a flair for the dramatic (ie he cheats and dives) and size-wise looks like what most americans think an athlete should look like.
But really 99 percent of it is all about Goals and Titles. I mean there was a reason Henry was in all those Gillete comercials and not Vieria... well goals and because Vieria would scare the children.
I agree with kevin re: Drogba's appeal to new/casual fans ...
And when you get sick of Drogba's whinging around the pitch, it marks a certain sophistication that such new/casual fans lack. A natural progression I think.
Is Arshavin on loan to Arsenal from a U-13 team in Santa Cruz or Santa Barbara? He looks like a 13 year old surfer who took a wrong turn. I couldn't believe it when on one of the many Arsenal corners he was standing between Cech and Terry. Both were head and shoulders taller than he is. I suppose he's Wenger's kind of player, but shouldn't he at least finish junior high before he tries to play in the BPL?