If you tune into this little slice of the Inter-nets every week, you've probably deduced -- Sherlock Holmes hat optional -- that when it comes to the Premier League, sadly, I'm an agnostic. I don't bleed the color of any of the clubs.
As you'd imagine, sometimes this is a good thing -- I can tweak everybody equally. (You know my whipping boys: Rafa, Theo, Obi Mikel, etc.)
Other times, however, it's a hindrance, since I never get to celebrate an amazing goal or important win. I can be impressed by moments, but rarely do these moments lift the soul and set the heart aflight like it does for actual fans.
Alas, I soldier on each week. (Much easier in weeks without the early Saturday morning kickoff.)
Anyways, of the Premiership's "Big Four" I certainly plenty of salvos at the unlikable dickish-ness that is Chelsea, the bumbling malaise at Liverpool and the false expectations at Arsenal. Usually absent from my pithy swipes is Manchester United, which is odd since the Red Devils are universally loathed by non-supporters.
For instance, my friend Jared, absolutely hates United. And hate might not be a strong enough word for it. (He's a Toffee, by the way.)
It's a pretty understandable position.
1) United seem to win "everything".
2) Sir Alex Ferguson is the oldest, whiniest, baby on the planet when the team loses.
3) The club's fairweather, bandwagon, worldwide (ManU) fans are insufferable.
A fourth prong easily could have been added, but Cristiano Ronaldo -- the most unlikeable personality on the big world stage -- currently plies his trade in Madrid. Ronaldo's game was unreal, but he was still a little diva. (Circle April 11. Estadio Santiago Bernabeau. El Clasico. Real Madrid and Barcelona now even on points at the top of La Liga.)
Me? I'll be quite honest I have a soft spot in my heart for Wayne Rooney. I simply enjoying watching the dude play. (All bets are off if he scores against the U.S. in South Africa. I hope I don't react in a similar way to Ron Burgundy when Baxter pooped in the fridge. ... "I'm not even that mad.")
Saturday, watching a Rooney-less United struggle mightily to Wolves at Molineax, it finally dawned on me why people disdain the Red Devils with every fiber in their body.
For nearly the entire match United looked nothing but ordinary. If you swapped off their jerseys and replaced them with a club in the midtable -- Stoke City, Birmingham -- would you have been surprised. Sure there was quality out there in Patrice Evra and Luis Valencia. And yeah, Dimitar Berbatov finally lived up to the lofty expectations heaped on him since his move from Spurs last year, playing a complete game.
Otherwise, Sir Alex's men didn't do much that screamed out -- "THIS TEAM IS TOP OF THE LEAGUE."
Wolves, who aren't very strong, did enough on Saturday to get a memorable result. The kind of home result that makes an otherwise dreary season worthwhile.
But thanks to Paul Scholes bit of quality inside the penalty area with about 20 minutes left, there United sits -- atop the Premier League.
And wouldn't it have to be Scholes, wouldn't it? The now 35-year-old Ginger Ninja scoring his 100th Premier League goal, this time a crucial game-winner.
Even if you hate United, it's hard to really actually hate Scholes, who's been nothing more than a solid professional. You don't hear about him beating up DJs or crashing his sports car. He just does the job, year-after-year, season-after-season.
Deep down, too, everybody wishes they had a Paul Scholes on their team.
People love, too, drawing comparisons between United and the New York Yankees, whether fair of unfair. If you boil it down, it's probably an apt comparison even if United are saddled with debt while the Yanks are printing money. The winning history and worldwide recognition probably make the comparison apt.
Me? Living in the shadow of Gotham I simply cannot stomach the Yankees and how much the club loves to bill itself as the be-all, end-all. The greatest collection of 25 men in the collection of entire recorded human history, as Michael Kay or John Sterling would have you know.
Saturday's United win was a lot like plenty of Yankees wins over the seasons. Look like they're on the ropes, only to have Derek Jeter dump in an opposite field single to drive in the winning run in the bottom of the eighth or ninth.
Jeter and Scholes are probably pretty similar to each other in what they bring to their respective teams -- namely intangibles and a knack for winning. I'm pretty sure, however, that Scholes hasn't dated every hot chick in Manchester like Jeter has done during his stay in New York.
Damn Yankees.
Damn United.
Microscopin'
First off, when Theo Walcott scored the go-ahead goal in the second half of Arsenal's 3-1 victory over Burnley at the Emirates, did he steal Clint Mathis' borderline-insane celebration from Hannover 96 when he pointed at his wrist? (Recall Mathis, was pissed at the coach about starting the game on the bench. This, as you'd imagine, didn't end well for Mathis, who never played again for the club.)
Long story short, good job by Arsenal to avoid a bogey, especially after Burnley tied it and Nic Bendtner missed a season's worth of chances.
What I take away from this one is Walcott.
Is there another player that gets dissected by the press as much as the ex-Southampton winger?
When he's good, or at least when he scores, like Saturday it's a story. (Arsene Wenger is already back to proclaiming he'll be a "star.")
When he's bad, like Wednesday for England, it's a story.
For Walcott to ever become anything of note, he's got to get to the point where he can just go out and play 90 minutes and it's not a big deal to anybody.
Me? I'm on record that he's vastly overrated and a one-trick pony at that. (Yeah, he's only 20, I get that.)
Granted, in the grand scheme of things, this really means nothing. Shouldn't Walcott, or any young player for that matter, become a steady contributor before annoiting them as the second coming? Guess that's how it works in almost any walk of life in these type of situations: hype --> backlash --> fighting back --> hype again --> more backlash, etc.
Walcott needs to get to the point where he play speaks for itself.
(And yes, I'd be quite pleased if he's in the England starting XI on June 12.)
Donovan:
In wake of Landon Donovan's one-goal, one-assist, 20-minute cameo/Goodison goodbye, here's a different take.
Since odds are that Bruce Arena plays the role of Grinch and brings his star player back to sunny Los Angeles next week, what does it do for MLS? Can the league or at least the Galaxy capitalize on Donovan's stunningly successful 10-week spell on Merseyside?
Donovan's play at Goodison probably made some people in England refrain from making "Mickey Mouse" comments, at least for the time being.
Can the fact that Donovan played very well in the Premier League on-loan from MLS help convert people who dismiss the quality of play in the league? (For the record, my beefs with MLS aren't on-field related, more about that when the season starts.)
This isn't an exact science, no doubt, but there's got to be a way for the league -- if it isn't too busy working on that little CBA thingy -- to market Donovan to American audiences. There probably isn't a magic bullet, but by default, Donovan coming back helps raise the credibility of the league.
At the absolute least, it's got to be some type of short term shot in the arm for MLS, right?
Other stuff:
As I tweeted Sunday, it's fairly incredible that on the Red side of Merseyside the fans at Anfield sings songs trying to oust the club's American owners, while on the Blue side the Goodison Park faithful serenade David Moyes with pleas to keep an American midfielder. ... Ah the magic of the FA Cup. It both sent Portsmouth toward the grave and might possibly save it two years later. Crazy. ... Who's the better South Korean right now? Ji-Sung Park or Chung-Yong Lee? And whatever happened to ex-Spurs back Lee Young-Pyo. (Oh thanks to Google, he's playing in Saudi Arabia on the same team as ex-Bolton winger Christian Wilhelmsson.) ... Sorry Jozy, but based on the "defending" at Goodison Park Sunday, there is no way Hull City survives another season. ... Arsenal sans Cesc are in big, big trouble against Porto in the Champions League on Tuesday. Who is stepping up for the Gunners here? If they are serious about winning the Premier League, dropping out in Europe isn't the end of the world. Or is it?
Oscar-themed look-alikes:
Considered how both are widely loathed by most parties, when did Phil Neville find time to play Nazi Colonel Hans Landa? I knew he was versatile on the field, but acting too?
But does he enjoy a glass of milk?
One other thing:
Had "A Serious Man" sitting on my coffee table from NetFlix for about three weeks. Finally carved out the time to watch it.
If you're a Coen Bros. fan, check it out. Otherwise? You might finish it and want your two hours back.
Very strange. Very deep. (It probably flew over my head.) Oddest ending to a movie in a long time. (Glad to see the Jefferson Airplane cashing a royalties check.)
"The Big Lebowski" this was not.
As you'd imagine, sometimes this is a good thing -- I can tweak everybody equally. (You know my whipping boys: Rafa, Theo, Obi Mikel, etc.)
Other times, however, it's a hindrance, since I never get to celebrate an amazing goal or important win. I can be impressed by moments, but rarely do these moments lift the soul and set the heart aflight like it does for actual fans.
Alas, I soldier on each week. (Much easier in weeks without the early Saturday morning kickoff.)
Anyways, of the Premiership's "Big Four" I certainly plenty of salvos at the unlikable dickish-ness that is Chelsea, the bumbling malaise at Liverpool and the false expectations at Arsenal. Usually absent from my pithy swipes is Manchester United, which is odd since the Red Devils are universally loathed by non-supporters.
For instance, my friend Jared, absolutely hates United. And hate might not be a strong enough word for it. (He's a Toffee, by the way.)
It's a pretty understandable position.
1) United seem to win "everything".
2) Sir Alex Ferguson is the oldest, whiniest, baby on the planet when the team loses.
3) The club's fairweather, bandwagon, worldwide (ManU) fans are insufferable.
A fourth prong easily could have been added, but Cristiano Ronaldo -- the most unlikeable personality on the big world stage -- currently plies his trade in Madrid. Ronaldo's game was unreal, but he was still a little diva. (Circle April 11. Estadio Santiago Bernabeau. El Clasico. Real Madrid and Barcelona now even on points at the top of La Liga.)
Me? I'll be quite honest I have a soft spot in my heart for Wayne Rooney. I simply enjoying watching the dude play. (All bets are off if he scores against the U.S. in South Africa. I hope I don't react in a similar way to Ron Burgundy when Baxter pooped in the fridge. ... "I'm not even that mad.")
Saturday, watching a Rooney-less United struggle mightily to Wolves at Molineax, it finally dawned on me why people disdain the Red Devils with every fiber in their body.
For nearly the entire match United looked nothing but ordinary. If you swapped off their jerseys and replaced them with a club in the midtable -- Stoke City, Birmingham -- would you have been surprised. Sure there was quality out there in Patrice Evra and Luis Valencia. And yeah, Dimitar Berbatov finally lived up to the lofty expectations heaped on him since his move from Spurs last year, playing a complete game.
Otherwise, Sir Alex's men didn't do much that screamed out -- "THIS TEAM IS TOP OF THE LEAGUE."
Wolves, who aren't very strong, did enough on Saturday to get a memorable result. The kind of home result that makes an otherwise dreary season worthwhile.
But thanks to Paul Scholes bit of quality inside the penalty area with about 20 minutes left, there United sits -- atop the Premier League.
And wouldn't it have to be Scholes, wouldn't it? The now 35-year-old Ginger Ninja scoring his 100th Premier League goal, this time a crucial game-winner.
Even if you hate United, it's hard to really actually hate Scholes, who's been nothing more than a solid professional. You don't hear about him beating up DJs or crashing his sports car. He just does the job, year-after-year, season-after-season.
Deep down, too, everybody wishes they had a Paul Scholes on their team.
People love, too, drawing comparisons between United and the New York Yankees, whether fair of unfair. If you boil it down, it's probably an apt comparison even if United are saddled with debt while the Yanks are printing money. The winning history and worldwide recognition probably make the comparison apt.
Me? Living in the shadow of Gotham I simply cannot stomach the Yankees and how much the club loves to bill itself as the be-all, end-all. The greatest collection of 25 men in the collection of entire recorded human history, as Michael Kay or John Sterling would have you know.
Saturday's United win was a lot like plenty of Yankees wins over the seasons. Look like they're on the ropes, only to have Derek Jeter dump in an opposite field single to drive in the winning run in the bottom of the eighth or ninth.
Jeter and Scholes are probably pretty similar to each other in what they bring to their respective teams -- namely intangibles and a knack for winning. I'm pretty sure, however, that Scholes hasn't dated every hot chick in Manchester like Jeter has done during his stay in New York.
Damn Yankees.
Damn United.
Microscopin'
First off, when Theo Walcott scored the go-ahead goal in the second half of Arsenal's 3-1 victory over Burnley at the Emirates, did he steal Clint Mathis' borderline-insane celebration from Hannover 96 when he pointed at his wrist? (Recall Mathis, was pissed at the coach about starting the game on the bench. This, as you'd imagine, didn't end well for Mathis, who never played again for the club.)
Long story short, good job by Arsenal to avoid a bogey, especially after Burnley tied it and Nic Bendtner missed a season's worth of chances.
What I take away from this one is Walcott.
Is there another player that gets dissected by the press as much as the ex-Southampton winger?
When he's good, or at least when he scores, like Saturday it's a story. (Arsene Wenger is already back to proclaiming he'll be a "star.")
When he's bad, like Wednesday for England, it's a story.
For Walcott to ever become anything of note, he's got to get to the point where he can just go out and play 90 minutes and it's not a big deal to anybody.
Me? I'm on record that he's vastly overrated and a one-trick pony at that. (Yeah, he's only 20, I get that.)
Granted, in the grand scheme of things, this really means nothing. Shouldn't Walcott, or any young player for that matter, become a steady contributor before annoiting them as the second coming? Guess that's how it works in almost any walk of life in these type of situations: hype --> backlash --> fighting back --> hype again --> more backlash, etc.
Walcott needs to get to the point where he play speaks for itself.
(And yes, I'd be quite pleased if he's in the England starting XI on June 12.)
Donovan:
In wake of Landon Donovan's one-goal, one-assist, 20-minute cameo/Goodison goodbye, here's a different take.
Since odds are that Bruce Arena plays the role of Grinch and brings his star player back to sunny Los Angeles next week, what does it do for MLS? Can the league or at least the Galaxy capitalize on Donovan's stunningly successful 10-week spell on Merseyside?
Donovan's play at Goodison probably made some people in England refrain from making "Mickey Mouse" comments, at least for the time being.
Can the fact that Donovan played very well in the Premier League on-loan from MLS help convert people who dismiss the quality of play in the league? (For the record, my beefs with MLS aren't on-field related, more about that when the season starts.)
This isn't an exact science, no doubt, but there's got to be a way for the league -- if it isn't too busy working on that little CBA thingy -- to market Donovan to American audiences. There probably isn't a magic bullet, but by default, Donovan coming back helps raise the credibility of the league.
At the absolute least, it's got to be some type of short term shot in the arm for MLS, right?
Other stuff:
As I tweeted Sunday, it's fairly incredible that on the Red side of Merseyside the fans at Anfield sings songs trying to oust the club's American owners, while on the Blue side the Goodison Park faithful serenade David Moyes with pleas to keep an American midfielder. ... Ah the magic of the FA Cup. It both sent Portsmouth toward the grave and might possibly save it two years later. Crazy. ... Who's the better South Korean right now? Ji-Sung Park or Chung-Yong Lee? And whatever happened to ex-Spurs back Lee Young-Pyo. (Oh thanks to Google, he's playing in Saudi Arabia on the same team as ex-Bolton winger Christian Wilhelmsson.) ... Sorry Jozy, but based on the "defending" at Goodison Park Sunday, there is no way Hull City survives another season. ... Arsenal sans Cesc are in big, big trouble against Porto in the Champions League on Tuesday. Who is stepping up for the Gunners here? If they are serious about winning the Premier League, dropping out in Europe isn't the end of the world. Or is it?
Oscar-themed look-alikes:
Considered how both are widely loathed by most parties, when did Phil Neville find time to play Nazi Colonel Hans Landa? I knew he was versatile on the field, but acting too?
But does he enjoy a glass of milk?
One other thing:
Had "A Serious Man" sitting on my coffee table from NetFlix for about three weeks. Finally carved out the time to watch it.
If you're a Coen Bros. fan, check it out. Otherwise? You might finish it and want your two hours back.
Very strange. Very deep. (It probably flew over my head.) Oddest ending to a movie in a long time. (Glad to see the Jefferson Airplane cashing a royalties check.)
"The Big Lebowski" this was not.
Labels: English Premier League, manchester United, Monday recaps, Premier League, Soccer
I hate Scholes because I think he's always been a dirty player. He's good for at least one terrible tackle a game.
Of all the United players that are somewhat likable, I'd have to agree Rooney is top of the list but I also like Giggs for the same reasons you say we should like Scholes. He's a solid professional.
Crud, my typically overlong comment got trashed by blogger.
Donovan was great yesterday. I know he is done AT Goodison, but doesn't he get one more game (away to Brum) for Everton?
I wonder if Lando regrets re-upping his MLS deal. Obviously he gets a great wage from the Galaxy and he got a lot of long term stability/money by signing. But I bet that if he knew how well things would go for Everton, he would never have signed that MLS extension.
Does Landon's success mean anything to the marketers of MLS here in the States? I doubt it. I can't imagine them selling more tickets for Galaxy games because of this. I don't understand how MLS fandom works, but it seems like they are kind of in their own gridiron-lined bubble. Lando's play helps the reputation of the US league and players IN EUROPE going forward, but not sure how many Americans who are not already hard-core soccer fans are even aware of this recent loan stint for Lando Goalrissian.
Some young US player(s) will get a better chance at catching on in England (hello, Stu Holden) because of Lando's quality play.
Scholes and Giggs bug me - not for who they are or how they play - but becasue of the incessant Favre like hype slathered on them by the UK media. Scholes is still a good player but it is YEARS since he has been great, but the English keep going on and on like he is a balding Messi. Other examples are Mickey Owen and, to a certain extent, Rooney. To my ears, pretty much ANY British Isles player who scores and is, umm, of the pasty persuasion, gets lionized beyond all logic.
Don't get me wrong - Rooney is having a great year and he is one of the top strikers in the world right now. But mentally fast forward 7 years to a time when Rooney has had two knee surgeries and the Brit media will still be prattling on how Rooney is still the best on the planet and just has to find his form to lead Ingerland to the next World Cup. Like the SEC slathering love on Tebow, long after he has retired to run his life insurance bidness - or Favre selling tight jeans to chubby Walmarteers.
People compare united to the Yankees but in fact there very diffrent sports teams in such London ( which makes up nearly 1/4 of the pop of England and 1/3 of the GDP) is home to over 8 pro teams. Manchester is 3rd largest city in England with much poorer econmy compared to London. With 2 teams in the main city and half dozen near it.
United in such have not always had an in built ecomic advantages unlike the Yankees. Also did the yankees ever go over 25 years with out a world series like united did between busby and 1990s with league title.If you could compared them with US sports team then maybe the suped up red soxs.
If they ever make a movie of Sir Alec's life, they should get Michael Gambon to play him in his dotage. He wouldn't have to stretch very much from his Eddie Temple character in Layer Cake, maybe a haircut and talking with his mouth full of marbles. For me, I'm still waiting for the football panel with Ferguson and Redknapp moderated by Bobby McMahon, with subtitles.
None of which is to say that I don't admire Ferguson and the way he continues to run United. In a league where owners change managers more often than they change their underwear the fact that he has held on at United for 20 plus years never fails to amaze me. The fact he has United in first place, although for how long is certainly a question, after missing Van Der Saar for the first half of the season, never having his regular back line ready for any fixture, not knowing who his midfield is from one week to the next, due to old age and infirmities, and losing the "best player on the planet" should have him in line for Manager of the Milennium. He does tend to whine, but so did Red Auerbach and Scotty Bowman, and so does Phil Jackson, in whose company he belongs as a top flight coach/manager. It, whining, seems to go with the territory and it's only seen as whining by the opponent's supporters.
Interesting that you mention Cletus, because I think that's what MLS needs more of, not Landycakes. Landy obviously has quality on the pitch, but you'd need 20 or 30 of him to really boost the quality of the product on the field enough to make a difference. In the absence of that, what we need is personality, controversy, and rivalry. Landon's a great player, and can be likable in certain contexts, but he's never going to excite much interest outside of the tween and hardcore football fan demographics. American sports fans may claim that they want clean-cut All-American boys, but what they really pay attention to is T.O. and OchoCinco and Shaq, because they're fucking entertaining as hell. The Beckham / Landon feud and the general fiasco around the Galaxy was actually the first thing that made me pay much attention to MLS in a long time, so they should look for more of that kind of thing, within reasonable limits, of course.
I think the main thing MLS gets out of this episode is a fat transfer fee once he finally gets sold back to Everton or some other EPL team next summer, and maybe some knock-on fees from the increased European interest in young American players.
As far as Man. U. goes, I feel like I have to hate them as the kind of guy who perpetually roots for underdogs, but I admit I loved watching them at their height in the C. Ron era. They had such a great direct counter-attacking style. If I like anyone in the Big 4 at all it's Arsenal, but the way Man. U. played in that era did nothing but highlight what's frustrating about watching Arsenal. They had just as much skill, but applied it directly and aggressively and went for the kill. Now they're just sort of irritatingly competent, so it's easier to hate them, though Rooney is still a lot of fun to watch.