Many times when I cast my gaze into my bathroom mirror, my thoughts turn to why exactly does one spend so much of his god-given time devoting his time, energy and brain cells to the exploits on soccer fields an ocean away across the Atlantic?
Specifically, why the hell do I force myself to get up early on weekends to watch games from the Premier League in England? Why do I waste hours of my week reading and writing about players, teams, coaches and ne'er-do-wells from a land I've never set foot in?
If only I had some pudding cups and a magically charged phone booth, perhaps I could dial up 1901 Vienna and spend some time on Sigmund Freud's couch for a diagnosis. The downside of this equation, naturally, is he prescribes me some "medicine" and I end up on a three-day Habsburg coke binge, locked up in a Prussian jail.
Alas.
Perhaps the answer isn't tied to some cheesy late-80s cult time travel film set in San Dimas, Calif.
The reason the Premier League captures our attention is the simple fact we share a common tongue. It's English, Americans speak (mostly) English. Bada bing, bada boom.
It's easy for our simian brains to follow. We can dial up countless English-based website for news and opinion. The distinctive tones of Martin Tyler and John Champion make ever game seem all the more important.
There's also probably some subliminal messages at work here, too. The more times you hear how the Barclay's Premier League bills itself as the best the world, the more likely you are to subtly believe it.
And it's the familiarity with the Premier League and its marquee players and teams by Americans why FOX took a gamble this year and acquired the UEFA Champions League rights, deciding to air Saturday afternoon's final -- the same time you'd usually watch (or hopefully non-watch the Yankees playing the Mets) -- on its flagship station*. Yep, FOX not FX or Fox Sports or Fox Soccer Channel ... or Fox Reality.
* Not crazy about FOX using Curt Menefee and Bruce Arena for the pregame, leaving Bobby McMahon out in the cold. Guess we'll have to wait another year for somebody to break the Manitoba Banker Barrier on American television.
Imagine the shock the other night, watching my recording of 'The Simpsons'** my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when I saw FOX actually promoting the Final with a "bug" overlayed over Ned Flanders. For soccer fans in the States, it was nothing short of 'Flan-tastic.'
** What in the wide world of Springfield is going on? From out-right bashing soccer with season nine's 'The Cartridge Family' to semi-embracing it with Homer appearing in the new, amazing Nike World Cup ad. A cromulent development, indeed.
Now having said that, the way the Champions League final broke, FOX may need more than a graphic during a 20-year-old animated series to promote the game.
As it stands Bayern Munich vs. Inter Milan Saturday at the Bernabeu in Madrid is a fantastic football match, pitting two perennial giants of the continent against each other with both going for their respective League, Cup and Champions League treble.
The match, however, doesn't feature the likes of Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea or "Man U". Nor does it have Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi. And for whatever it's worth, the one player in that new Nike World Cup ad who plays for either team -- Franck Ribery -- is suspended for a red card in the semifinals vs. Lyon.
What it does have is a couple Real Madrid castoffs -- Wesley Sneijder and Arjen Robben -- and the world's most talked manager, Jose Mourinho.
In other words, a tough sell for FOX which is used to having an anthromophoric gopher and or fighting robots do most of the heavy promotional lifting. Even so, FOX sports boss David Hill is predicting over two million viewers in the States Saturday.***
*** Here are the other sports on television Saturday afternoon in the Champions League window: CBS: PGA Golf; NBC: Gymnastics/NHL Playoffs (key rating comparison); ESPN: NCAA Softball; ESPN2: Major League Lacrosse. So, yeah, not exactly murder's row in terms of competition.
To some degree, this final is a bit therapeutic as it helps clear up my crippling case of English fever. Sometimes we all become guilty of the worst trappings of the Limey media, in that if isn't English, it's crap. We sometimes forget that soccer, though invented by the English, remains the world's game.
And Bayern vs. Inter exemplifies this line of thinking.
This game should be appealing to neutrals with two teams fielding talented, fun-to-watch players. If not for Diego Maradona's bizarre team selection, the starting XIs for each team would even serve as a mini-World Cup preview.
So the big question for Fox and the American public will be, if it's not the Premier League will anyone take the time to watch? Have we become sophisticated enough in our soccer culture that we can appreciate a Champions League for what it is, even if it's lacking the typical marquee star power.
Or do we remain stuck chasing the English shadows?
Talking points:
* Mourinho. What more can be said? The Portugeezer truly is the Ric Flair of the soccer coaching world. Think about it, he's done the face/heel turn masterfully since leaving Chelsea. He's the master of playing mind games with opponents. He's arrogant and cocky. All that's missing is the bleached blond hair and purple robes.
And if he wins the Champions League Saturday, would anyone be surprised to hear him utter something along the lines of, "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!"
A serious point on Mourinho? Would any other manager or coach of a pro sports team across the world spurn the creation of a puppet-based show (Special 1 TV) using his persona? The closest I can think of is the old SNL "Super Fans" bit about Mike Ditka, but he wasn't even in it, even if his moustache featured prominently.
One last thing on Mourinho, and I could go on all day. Listen to this interview and then think back to the second leg of Inter's semifinal with Barcelona.
* I've given myself personal electroshock therapy to avoid making any Ribery prostitution jokes. Obviously Louis Van Gaal's biggest tactical question is how to replace the mercurial Frenchman. Logic would dictate Bastian Schweinsteiger moving to the left, or maybe Danijel Pranjić?
* So which was better? Robben's goal vs. Manchester United from the corner? Cutting inside against Fiorentina? Or this one in the first leg vs. Lyon?
Either way, it's pretty clear Mourinho will have strict instructions for Javier Zanetti and Esteban Cambiasso to block off the inside channel for the Dutchman, who loves cutting inside. (And the two Inter Argentines have nothing to lose since Maradona is leaving them home for the World Cup.)
* Strange, isn't it, that Goran Pandev's contract dispute with Lazio allowed Inter to swoop in and sign the Macadonian forward. In turn, it let Mourinho play the rather aggressive 4-2-3-1 to down both Chelsea and Barcelona.
* Doesn't this seem like the type of game Miroslav Klose pips up out of nowhere to score a garbage goal? Think of a ball bouncing accidentally off his thigh or something. He and Diego Milito certainly are goal-scorer's goal scorers.
* The way this breaks, this game is a mini-preview for the Dutch World Cup team, with Sneijder, Robben and Mark Van Bommel in key roles. (Wonder how healthy Sneijder is, if he's dinged up it slows down the Inter attack greatly.)
* Is it all that surprising that Inter swapped perennial underachiever Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Barcelona for Sammy Eto'o and now they're in the Champions League final? (Considering Barca bought David Villa Wednesday from Valencia, is the big Swede back on the block? And to where? Apropos of nothing, my friend Jared coined the term "The Swede" when we play "FIFA" online and nothing is going right. Sometimes you are the Swede, just ask Zlatan.)
* Serie A and the Bundesliga remain easy targets for mockery from English speakers in that the leagues are far inferior to the Prem or even La Liga.
For what its worth, Inter won Serie A two points clear of Roma. The top four teams point totals were: 82-80-70-67. In Germany, Bayern beat out Schalke for the Bundesliga by five. The top four was 70-65-61-59.
In England, Chelsea nipped Manchester United by one, with the top four: 86-85-75-70.
Now look at Spain, where Barcelona edged out Real Madrid. The top four was 99-96-71-63.
Serie A may have lost much of its cache, but it's a more competitive league top-to-bottom than La Liga. And most of my regular readers know I have this weird fetish with the Bundesliga.
* Standard talking point facts: The winner Saturday cliches a treble; Mourinho was an assistant under Van Gaal at Barcelona. Easy stuff here.
* Interesting contrast between Bayern and Inter, the flag bearers in Germany and Italy.
Bayern will sent seven players to the Germany preliminary World Cup roster -- Hans-Jörg Butt, Philipp Lahm, Holger Badstuber, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Miroslav Klose, Mario Gómez and Thomas Müller.
Meanwhile, Inter sent how many players to the Azzurri squad ... yep, zero. The only Italian who might even get on the field in Madrid is Mario Balotelli and he's a lightning rod in Italy.
So Inter is helping Serie A's UEFA coefficient, but not necessarily Italian soccer as a whole. Weird how that works.
Prediction:
Everything about this game says Inter.
The Nerazzurri have a better defensive unit, a white-hot scorer (Milito) and the master Mourinho.
Inter are also a veteran team full of over 30 types Lucio (the ex-Bayern man sold to Inter last summer, who gets high marks from my new favorite site, Zonal Marking.), Dejan Stanković, Walter Samuel, etc. so this game probably represents their last chance at winning the Champions League.
All the conventional signs point to Inter getting a goal and than closing down shop in front of goal.
Despite all this something about the way Bayern has played makes me think they'll win it late or in extra time. Martin Demichelis really scares me in the middle of the Bayern defense and Maicon could make mincemeat out of Badstuber on the flank.
Above all, there's the Mourinho factor and his famous mind games from the touchline. For whatever the reason I doubt Van Gaal or Bayern are too effected by his massive cult of personality. Then again, if Mourinho casts a fiery gaze at Robben -- who don't forget was stellar under the Portugeezer at Chelsea -- and the Dutchman collapses in a heap with a broken foot, well, all bets are off.
The way Bayern has progressed through this tournament, needing a win on the final group matchday against Juventus, the late goals vs. Fiorentina and Manchester United, there's seems to be something about this team. Even without Ribery, once teams get on a roll like Bayern's been on its hard to stop especially with all the late goals.
Robben or Olic have another winner in them. ... Bayern 2, Inter 1 (a.e.t.)
Specifically, why the hell do I force myself to get up early on weekends to watch games from the Premier League in England? Why do I waste hours of my week reading and writing about players, teams, coaches and ne'er-do-wells from a land I've never set foot in?
If only I had some pudding cups and a magically charged phone booth, perhaps I could dial up 1901 Vienna and spend some time on Sigmund Freud's couch for a diagnosis. The downside of this equation, naturally, is he prescribes me some "medicine" and I end up on a three-day Habsburg coke binge, locked up in a Prussian jail.
Alas.
Perhaps the answer isn't tied to some cheesy late-80s cult time travel film set in San Dimas, Calif.
The reason the Premier League captures our attention is the simple fact we share a common tongue. It's English, Americans speak (mostly) English. Bada bing, bada boom.
It's easy for our simian brains to follow. We can dial up countless English-based website for news and opinion. The distinctive tones of Martin Tyler and John Champion make ever game seem all the more important.
There's also probably some subliminal messages at work here, too. The more times you hear how the Barclay's Premier League bills itself as the best the world, the more likely you are to subtly believe it.
And it's the familiarity with the Premier League and its marquee players and teams by Americans why FOX took a gamble this year and acquired the UEFA Champions League rights, deciding to air Saturday afternoon's final -- the same time you'd usually watch (or hopefully non-watch the Yankees playing the Mets) -- on its flagship station*. Yep, FOX not FX or Fox Sports or Fox Soccer Channel ... or Fox Reality.
* Not crazy about FOX using Curt Menefee and Bruce Arena for the pregame, leaving Bobby McMahon out in the cold. Guess we'll have to wait another year for somebody to break the Manitoba Banker Barrier on American television.
Imagine the shock the other night, watching my recording of 'The Simpsons'** my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when I saw FOX actually promoting the Final with a "bug" overlayed over Ned Flanders. For soccer fans in the States, it was nothing short of 'Flan-tastic.'
** What in the wide world of Springfield is going on? From out-right bashing soccer with season nine's 'The Cartridge Family' to semi-embracing it with Homer appearing in the new, amazing Nike World Cup ad. A cromulent development, indeed.
Now having said that, the way the Champions League final broke, FOX may need more than a graphic during a 20-year-old animated series to promote the game.
As it stands Bayern Munich vs. Inter Milan Saturday at the Bernabeu in Madrid is a fantastic football match, pitting two perennial giants of the continent against each other with both going for their respective League, Cup and Champions League treble.
The match, however, doesn't feature the likes of Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea or "Man U". Nor does it have Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi. And for whatever it's worth, the one player in that new Nike World Cup ad who plays for either team -- Franck Ribery -- is suspended for a red card in the semifinals vs. Lyon.
What it does have is a couple Real Madrid castoffs -- Wesley Sneijder and Arjen Robben -- and the world's most talked manager, Jose Mourinho.
In other words, a tough sell for FOX which is used to having an anthromophoric gopher and or fighting robots do most of the heavy promotional lifting. Even so, FOX sports boss David Hill is predicting over two million viewers in the States Saturday.***
*** Here are the other sports on television Saturday afternoon in the Champions League window: CBS: PGA Golf; NBC: Gymnastics/NHL Playoffs (key rating comparison); ESPN: NCAA Softball; ESPN2: Major League Lacrosse. So, yeah, not exactly murder's row in terms of competition.
To some degree, this final is a bit therapeutic as it helps clear up my crippling case of English fever. Sometimes we all become guilty of the worst trappings of the Limey media, in that if isn't English, it's crap. We sometimes forget that soccer, though invented by the English, remains the world's game.
And Bayern vs. Inter exemplifies this line of thinking.
This game should be appealing to neutrals with two teams fielding talented, fun-to-watch players. If not for Diego Maradona's bizarre team selection, the starting XIs for each team would even serve as a mini-World Cup preview.
So the big question for Fox and the American public will be, if it's not the Premier League will anyone take the time to watch? Have we become sophisticated enough in our soccer culture that we can appreciate a Champions League for what it is, even if it's lacking the typical marquee star power.
Or do we remain stuck chasing the English shadows?
Talking points:
* Mourinho. What more can be said? The Portugeezer truly is the Ric Flair of the soccer coaching world. Think about it, he's done the face/heel turn masterfully since leaving Chelsea. He's the master of playing mind games with opponents. He's arrogant and cocky. All that's missing is the bleached blond hair and purple robes.
And if he wins the Champions League Saturday, would anyone be surprised to hear him utter something along the lines of, "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!"
A serious point on Mourinho? Would any other manager or coach of a pro sports team across the world spurn the creation of a puppet-based show (Special 1 TV) using his persona? The closest I can think of is the old SNL "Super Fans" bit about Mike Ditka, but he wasn't even in it, even if his moustache featured prominently.
One last thing on Mourinho, and I could go on all day. Listen to this interview and then think back to the second leg of Inter's semifinal with Barcelona.
* I've given myself personal electroshock therapy to avoid making any Ribery prostitution jokes. Obviously Louis Van Gaal's biggest tactical question is how to replace the mercurial Frenchman. Logic would dictate Bastian Schweinsteiger moving to the left, or maybe Danijel Pranjić?
* So which was better? Robben's goal vs. Manchester United from the corner? Cutting inside against Fiorentina? Or this one in the first leg vs. Lyon?
Either way, it's pretty clear Mourinho will have strict instructions for Javier Zanetti and Esteban Cambiasso to block off the inside channel for the Dutchman, who loves cutting inside. (And the two Inter Argentines have nothing to lose since Maradona is leaving them home for the World Cup.)
* Strange, isn't it, that Goran Pandev's contract dispute with Lazio allowed Inter to swoop in and sign the Macadonian forward. In turn, it let Mourinho play the rather aggressive 4-2-3-1 to down both Chelsea and Barcelona.
* Doesn't this seem like the type of game Miroslav Klose pips up out of nowhere to score a garbage goal? Think of a ball bouncing accidentally off his thigh or something. He and Diego Milito certainly are goal-scorer's goal scorers.
* The way this breaks, this game is a mini-preview for the Dutch World Cup team, with Sneijder, Robben and Mark Van Bommel in key roles. (Wonder how healthy Sneijder is, if he's dinged up it slows down the Inter attack greatly.)
* Is it all that surprising that Inter swapped perennial underachiever Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Barcelona for Sammy Eto'o and now they're in the Champions League final? (Considering Barca bought David Villa Wednesday from Valencia, is the big Swede back on the block? And to where? Apropos of nothing, my friend Jared coined the term "The Swede" when we play "FIFA" online and nothing is going right. Sometimes you are the Swede, just ask Zlatan.)
* Serie A and the Bundesliga remain easy targets for mockery from English speakers in that the leagues are far inferior to the Prem or even La Liga.
For what its worth, Inter won Serie A two points clear of Roma. The top four teams point totals were: 82-80-70-67. In Germany, Bayern beat out Schalke for the Bundesliga by five. The top four was 70-65-61-59.
In England, Chelsea nipped Manchester United by one, with the top four: 86-85-75-70.
Now look at Spain, where Barcelona edged out Real Madrid. The top four was 99-96-71-63.
Serie A may have lost much of its cache, but it's a more competitive league top-to-bottom than La Liga. And most of my regular readers know I have this weird fetish with the Bundesliga.
* Standard talking point facts: The winner Saturday cliches a treble; Mourinho was an assistant under Van Gaal at Barcelona. Easy stuff here.
* Interesting contrast between Bayern and Inter, the flag bearers in Germany and Italy.
Bayern will sent seven players to the Germany preliminary World Cup roster -- Hans-Jörg Butt, Philipp Lahm, Holger Badstuber, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Miroslav Klose, Mario Gómez and Thomas Müller.
Meanwhile, Inter sent how many players to the Azzurri squad ... yep, zero. The only Italian who might even get on the field in Madrid is Mario Balotelli and he's a lightning rod in Italy.
So Inter is helping Serie A's UEFA coefficient, but not necessarily Italian soccer as a whole. Weird how that works.
Prediction:
Everything about this game says Inter.
The Nerazzurri have a better defensive unit, a white-hot scorer (Milito) and the master Mourinho.
Inter are also a veteran team full of over 30 types Lucio (the ex-Bayern man sold to Inter last summer, who gets high marks from my new favorite site, Zonal Marking.), Dejan Stanković, Walter Samuel, etc. so this game probably represents their last chance at winning the Champions League.
All the conventional signs point to Inter getting a goal and than closing down shop in front of goal.
Despite all this something about the way Bayern has played makes me think they'll win it late or in extra time. Martin Demichelis really scares me in the middle of the Bayern defense and Maicon could make mincemeat out of Badstuber on the flank.
Above all, there's the Mourinho factor and his famous mind games from the touchline. For whatever the reason I doubt Van Gaal or Bayern are too effected by his massive cult of personality. Then again, if Mourinho casts a fiery gaze at Robben -- who don't forget was stellar under the Portugeezer at Chelsea -- and the Dutchman collapses in a heap with a broken foot, well, all bets are off.
The way Bayern has progressed through this tournament, needing a win on the final group matchday against Juventus, the late goals vs. Fiorentina and Manchester United, there's seems to be something about this team. Even without Ribery, once teams get on a roll like Bayern's been on its hard to stop especially with all the late goals.
Robben or Olic have another winner in them. ... Bayern 2, Inter 1 (a.e.t.)
Labels: bayern munich, champions league, inter milan, Jose Mourinho, Soccer
Not bad for a preview. Couple of things:
Bayern will most likely play Altintop at LM in replace of Ribery just like they did against Lyon.
Van Gaal has been doing more mind games in the build up to this than Mourinho trying to bait him into playing a more attacking possession game that Bayern is better at.
You may have wanted to address the UEFA Coefficient issue which is much more important to Germans and Italians. If the game goes to Penalty Kicks (regardless of who wins the PK's) or Bayern wins in normal or extra time then the Bundesliga overtakes Serie A for getting 4 Champions League places next season. Otherwise an Inter victory will keep it for Italy.
I'm one of those guilty of not really being able to get up for this. I've seen Inter probably 10 times this year, and they bore the hell out of me, though they're of course effective. And lack of GolTV means I can't really follow the Bundesliga(well, I could, but I'm too lazy to track down streams), though I could see getting more interested in that over time.
I'm mainly just disappointed that Barca went out, and not so much because I'm a big Barca fan(though they're my Spanish team if I can be said to have one) as that I really wanted to see the best team of the past decade or so in the final. The final should have been Inter/Barca or Chelsea/Barca, or from an entertainment standpoint, a European El Clasico, but it just didn't shake out that way. As it is I'll probably watch and hope it's an entertaining match, but I have a hard time caring much who wins. I'll say 2-1 Inter, and you're likely right about the extra time.
Too bad we won't get Bobby M on Fox mothership - that would have been excellent. I hope the ratings are good here in the US so big broadcasters continue to give us these games - especially in high def.
Why don't more games use the spider-cam? Those overhead angles are amazing in soccer and every time I see them I wonder why Premiership games don't use them all the time.
I have the feeling that Bayern is going to win on Saturday. I think that constant Mourinho publicity machine makes Inter feel inevitable - but without the strategic element of the home and away structure, there is one less on field thing for Jose to do.
My guess is a first half goal for the Germans and them holding on until they get a late counter-attack second goal as Inter throws everything forward. My sure-to-be-inaccurate prediction is Bayern 2-0 over Inter.