Believe it or not, your humble author doesn't watch all that much programming on ESPN, despite my continual swipes at the self-proclaimed, "World Wide Leader in Sports."
In actuality the most I watch the network is when I'm working out doing cardio at my gym on the overhead televisions. This is usually without any sound, unless I want to torture myself during the "Top 10 Plays" to hear Chris McKendry and John Buccigross butcher a soccer highlight.
Since mid-July and the airing of "The Decision" I've must have seen ESPN re-run the clip of Cleveland Cavaliers fans burning a jersey of ex-hero LeBron James leading up to the 2010-11 NBA season about seemingly 100 times. It almost makes you wonder, how much actual rancor there was about James taking his talents to South Beach. Shouldn't ESPN have been able to dispatch Rachel Nichols to get to the bottom of this? Wouldn't there be more video than that one clip from back in July?
By the start of the NBA season this week, that single jersey burning clip felt like the dated, recycled clips from the ill-fated Disco Demolition night at Comiskey Park(*). For a person born in 1980, it's hard to fathom this actually happened. Usually Americans, especially American sports fans are so apathetic and except the status quo, so to see fans foaming at the mouth over lazy studio beats and Gloria Gaynor records is shockingly amazing to a person of my age. Why did disco, like LeBron's move to Miami, strike such a raw nerve from sea to shining sea?
(*) Is there anything that could happen to be the 2010 version of this? Destroying Justin Beiber or Black Eyed Peas MP3s at a hockey game? Oh wait ...
That lone jersey-burning is the only smoking gun about LeBron's nefarious move from his home-state team to a South Beach -- the embodiment of everything superficial and fake in sports. Stodgy old columnists hated it. The people of Cleveland hated it. The general public seemed turned off by it.
But time, as we know, heals all wounds. Sure LeBron, or as author Scott Raab calls him, "The Whore of Akron" will be booed and jeered during his return to Cleveland. They're probably be some angry, WWF-styled signs. That's about it. Security will be so tight, nothing else could happen. Nobody is going to bombard him with "D" batteries or try to storm the court.
And even if he's joined the ranks of Art Modell and Rachel Phelps as the most hated people in Cleveland sports, what does it matter to LeBron? He got his money. He gets to chill in South Beach. He gets to ride on Dwyane Wade's coat tails.
Nobody likes me in Cleveland? Who cares.
Why is this worth mentioning?
In soccer it's nothing new. Enjoy this video of Sol "Judas" Campbell's first return to White Hart Lane as a member of Arsenal.
Granted, that's the televised, sanitary version of the game. Scanning through some of the amateur clips from inside the stands themselves, well, that's a different story. The level of vitriol hits on perhaps every touchy social moral. Nearly nine years after his move across North London from Tottenham to Arsenal, Campbell is still known simply as Judas, the same way Rio Ferdinand is called "Traitor" by still bitter Leeds United fans.
But Campbell is not alone. Let's look at how Barcelona fans -- a worldwide symbol of European cosmopolitanism and tolerance -- greeted Luis Figo when he returned to the Camp Nou in his first match with Real Madrid. (Notice the coaches for each team at the time. Familiar faces.)
Yep, if you didn't already know the story (or the footage was too grainy), that was a pig head.
The classic example of this type of transfer-related hate was Mo Johnston switching allegiances from Celtic to Rangers, a move that had almost as much of a political tone to it than sports.
See, with soccer this is old hat. Those are just some high profile examples, but there are countless others, where a star player turns his back -- or more accurately moves on -- from his small provincial club to one with more money. Stories like Niko Kranjcar moving from Dinamo Zagreb to Hadjuk Split and the ensuing death threats he received are, sadly, nothing new. Or grammatically accurate hoods threatening Wayne Rooney's life if he tried to move to Manchester City.
LeBron's move seemed to touch such a raw nerve and trigger emotions inside many American sports fans they couldn't quite it explain. When you stripe down LeBron's motivations, they're justifiable. Yet something about the whole circus made most fans stomachs crawl. We're just not used to this level of craven, calculating manipulation.
Maybe it's just a matter of mentalities.
It seems in America we love to romanticize sports and always want that warm and fuzzy ending. We love the underdog. We like to think that our major sports have a destiny to them ... that they mean more than a random gathering of five or nine or 11 men excelling in a child's game and winning a trophy. There's a greater purpose to them, or at least we want our athletic heroes to think and act like that, instead of the grim reality that it's a business first and foremost.
More to the LeBron point, in most non-American sports the mercenary aspect of the games isn't as frowned upon. Sure teams like Real Madrid take it to the extreme, but nobody bats too many eyes at "superteams." Players making career moves to line up alongside other high-caliber professional is the norm. Plus, don't forget, outside of baseball, with salary caps and roster management it's difficult for American franchises to stack the deck in this type of Florentino Perez cream-dream scenario.
Chances are the LeBron move won't usher in an era of this type of fan rancor in America. That move was the perfect storm. More likely is the growing divide between the the Solipsism of current athletes and the general public.
There was a line in the fourth season of 'The Sopranos' where Tony accidentally sleeps with Uncle Junior's Russian (possibly Kazakh) nurse, Svetlana. Remember, the blond with the artificial leg. Post coitus, Tony starting spewing his neurosis to her and she doesn't want to hear it, basically saying something along the lines of, "You Americans always expect thing to go right, while the rest of the wrong expects them to go wrong."
Then again, whichever side of the Atlantic you sit, there's not cure for a broken (sports) heart, hence the burning jerseys and projectile pig heads.
Round 10 EPL Picks:
Note, with the clock change across the Atlantic, the Sunday late game will now run into the first quarter of NFL kickoffs. With Liverpool playing Bolton at that time, part-time TOP contributor Ace Cowboy will be conflicted, with the Jets playing the Packers beginning at 1 p.m. Eastern.
Saturday:
* Everton v. Stoke City -- It's a shame SNL had to make that "MacGruber" movie. Why? I honestly, 100-percent without a shred of "deep V"-wearing, faux-hawking rocking irony enjoy it's source material, "MacGyver."
Why does this upset me? Well, I'd like to continue to use my "MacGyver" analogy to describe Everton. Leon Osman gets hurt? David Moyes moves Johnny Heitinga to the midfield and Seamus Coleman out wide. Could this team have more interchangeable, quality parts? Expect, even with the slow start -- already in the rear view -- for the Toffees to press for a sixth place finish. As for Stoke City, if Tony Pulis and Tuncay can continue to see eye-to-eye and the Turk talisman provides a few match-winners, the Potters will push for the top half of the table. If not, they'll hover just above the serious relegation zone. ... Everton 1, Stoke City 0
* Arsenal v. West Ham United -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Not to jinx this game, but there's a possibility it could finish in the 7-0, 8-0 range. That would boil down to a) Arsenal getting an early lead -- entirely possible; and b) West Ham's players slumping their shoulders and throwing in the towel early. The Irons have a couple crafty players capable of goals, but that defense, sheesh. Maybe it's a good thing Jonathon Spector doesn't get any burn. ... Arsenal 4, West Ham 1
* Blackburn Rovers v. Chelsea -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) So ... Blackburn gets bought-out by an Indian "poultry and pharmaceuticals company" ... ? Ok, yeah, those go together about as well as "Nuts and Gum." At least the owners are realistic, setting their sights on ... 12th place. The English Premier League everybody! On paper this looks like another Chelsea romp, but Blackburn usually play the Blues tough at Ewood Park. Plus the Christopher Samba/Didier Drogba matchup alone is worth the price of admission. ... Blackburn 0, Chelsea 2
* Wolves v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Forget about the would-be MMA fight between in cleats between Karl Henry and Nigel de Jong. Let's talk about Carlos Tevez. If you haven't seen the European Pepsi ad he's currently starring in, well, it might break Bill Simmons Unintentional Comedy Machine. (Click the link, it's worth your 60 seconds. ... Fine, I'll embed it for the lazy folks.)
Back? Ok. You know when commentators talk in hyperbole about footballers being gifts from God? Maradona springs to mind. Maybe it applies to a footballing idiot savant like Tevez. Or in the words of Doctor Gonzo, Tevez is one of God's own prototypes, "Too weird to live, too rare to die."
Now, it finally makes sense why he's never learned English. It's Carlito's World, we're just living in it. Of course, Roque Santa Cruz in a radio interview this week, claims Tevez hates Manchester and wants to go back to (the jungles of) Argentina to be with this family. At this point, it would seem, City needs Tevez a lot more than Tevez needs City. You'd think this might be a problem, but Tevez, bless his heart, is such an honest player you always know he's going to give his 100 percent on the field. Dog it isn't in his vocabulary -- Spanish or English, well, obviously not English. Either way, when he retires, we need Gabriel García Márquez or some other great Spanish-language writer to tell his story.
Since Tevez has already been ruled out of this weekend's match, we might get an early glimpse of what a Tevez-less City would look like. Good thing they spent all that money on Mario Balotelli. ... Wolves 0, Manchester City 2
* Fulham v. Wigan Athletic -- Perfect example of the still-transient nature of the table: Fulham was riding high, unbeaten then goes out and loses its last two matches. Wigan were done-and-dusted, losing their first two matches by around 100-0. Now the Latics have two wins under their belts and are a point ahead of the Cottagers. Fulham, obviously, is beaten up with injuries across the field, triggering its drop. It's hard to know what Fulham is capable of with Damien Duff, Simon Davies, Danny Murphy and Dick Etutu all fighting with injuries. It might be mild cause for concern, since the firs three mentioned aren't exactly young any more. Maybe the bigger question is, considering how Clint Dempsey lays his body on the line every week, how has he avoided the casualty list? ... Fulham 1, Wigan Athletic 1
* Manchester United v. Tottenham -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Game of the week alert!
Let's look at the Manchester United side first. The club weathered the "RooBron" controversy, actually benefiting since Rooney himself is injured and jetting around the world with Colleen. There's no immediate worry about his form or where he fits in. Now I'm not sure any Red Devil supporters are predicting Rooney to be a second half of the season salvation, but at least he's still around and not hurting the team with indifferent performances, which might be more of the norm going forward.
Meanwhile, Chicharito has assumed the talismanic mantle, finding ways to win games one way or another. If the little Mexican can keep it up and get some help from Nani and one other player every week, United can push in the top four, though there's still something missing with this team in the center of the field and in the back. It might be false hope, but it's hope nonetheless.
Tottenham, if you went position-by-position, might actually have more talent on the field at Old Trafford Saturday, or at least more in-form talent, namely Rafael van der Vaart. The Dutchman has scored all his Spurs goals at White Hart Lane, but you'd think a guy like him will relish the big stage the so-called Theater of Dreams provides. Some players shrink in the spotlight, he embraces it. It'll be required grumbling inside Old Trafford to wonder how Sir Alex let the Dutchman go on the cheap from Real Madrid to Spurs.
Considering the history of these teams, it sets up for a lot of fun observation. Manchester United expect to win, while Spurs expect for the other shoe to drop. The biggest tactical decision is who Sir Alex Ferguson plays on the right side to try to tire-out Gareth Bale. We could see anyone from the group of John O'Shea, Gary Neville, Rafael or even Ji-Sung Park trying to drape all over the Welshman and slow him down. Teams, it should be noted, are making him their No. 1 priority, which should open up space for Luka Modric or Tom Huddlestone.
On paper, Spurs seem primed for the upset but something tells me Dimitar Berbatov finds a way to break Tottenham hearts again. ... Manchester United 2, Spurs 1
Sunday:
* Aston Villa v. Birmingham City -- (Live, FSC.tv, 8 a.m.) Aston Villa have gone over five halves of Premier League action without a goal. Blame Gerard Houllier I guess. It makes you feel less empty inside than continually bashing Emile Heskey, who's reverting back to the guy who was put out to pasture at Wigan a couple seasons ago. At least Villa welcomes Birmingham City to Villa Park, a team they've beaten six-straight times at this level. Weird things seem to undo Birmingham in this match, lots of controversial penalties and such. Maybe Stephen Ireland is the missing link between the Aston Villa midfield and forwards. Maybe not? He's going to be needed since the club will be without: Stylian Petrov, John Carew, Gabriel Agbonlahor and Marc Albrighton, too. If Birmingham City is ever going to beat their city rivals, now is the time. ... Aston Villa 1, Birmingham City 1
* Newcastle United v. Sunderland -- (Live, FSC+, 9:30 a.m.) You know why this is a good rivalry? Wait don't answer that (or consult Wikipedia or Google). It's like trying to answer why Springfield and Shelbyville hate each other. It's just one of those things, more impressive since neither team has exactly lit English football alight over the last half century. Since your team won't win a trophy, at least it can beat your most deep-seated enemy from across the river, right?
Sunderland seem indicative of the Premier League at the moment. Kind of okay, not great, but horrible. They're 2-6-1, with a seven-game unbeaten string ... which is good enough for seventh. Want an astounding fact? Titus Bramble, yes the walking punchline, has the seventh-most EPL Fantasy points for defenders, ahead of stalwarts like Nemanja Vidic and Branislav Ivanovic. Steve Bruce, by making moves for guys like Bramble, has put together a team that is competent enough to hang with the top clubs, but not dynamic enough outside of Darren Bent to make any serious run at a European spot.
Newcastle are almost the opposite, always walking a high-wire, high-energy tight rope.
Maybe if the clubs merged into one giant Geordie Army, give Andy Carroll and Kevin Nolan to Sunderland and you've got a dangerous squad. Of course, Shelbyville wouldn't return the Springfield Lemon Tree without a fight. Ah, flights of fancy. ... Newcastle United 2, Sunderland 1
* Bolton v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, noon) Bolton might be the most predictable, settled squad in the League. You know what Owen Coyle is throwing out there, your standard 4-4-2. Liverpool? By contrast, are still unsettled and uncertain as Roy Hodgson trying to manipulate the Anfield Rubix Cube into a winning combination. At the moment he can't figure out a way to get the Christian Poulsen black colored tile off the side with all the other Reds, lousing up the whole thing.
On an unrealted note, it's funny to read English writers trying to make heads and tails of John (W) Henry and the NESV purchase of Liverpool. Paul Heyward tries to equate the Red Sox success to "Moneyball", or the principle a winning team can be built inexpensively. Do they realize the Red Sox have the second-highest payroll in baseball at $161 million, second highest in the sport? The now-diluted principle from "Moneyball" (not written by Billy Beane, Joe Morgan) is finding value in places no one else is looking. So if Liverpool were really taking a "Moneyball" approach it would be things like investing in academies in untapped places like China or even the U.S., not spending less on players. Anyway ... Bolton 1, Liverpool 1
Monday:
* Blackpool v. West Bromich Albion -- (Live, 4 p.m. ????) It's always a good sign where you club captain, in this case Scott Adam, takes the team to court for unpaid bonuses, right? It hasn't ceased to amaze me both these teams are off to flying starts. Is it all down to mentality? Or specifically neither team is playing the, "we're happy to be here" card? Both teams have put their focus on passing and attack, not hunkering behind the ball, so this should be a fun, wide-open match. ... Blackpool 2, West Brom 3
Last week: 7-3
Season: 39-51
Oh .... one more thing:
It's Halloween weekend. You're welcome. I held back from pumpkin puns. I had a whole patch err, batch of them.
No, I won't be dressing up or anything. One day, however, I'll create my No. 1 all-time costume, the David Byrne giant suit from "Stop Making Sense." The problem, I don't have the sewing skills to even attempt such an outfit and the only people that would appreciate it are the very hipsters I knock at every chance.
In actuality the most I watch the network is when I'm working out doing cardio at my gym on the overhead televisions. This is usually without any sound, unless I want to torture myself during the "Top 10 Plays" to hear Chris McKendry and John Buccigross butcher a soccer highlight.
Since mid-July and the airing of "The Decision" I've must have seen ESPN re-run the clip of Cleveland Cavaliers fans burning a jersey of ex-hero LeBron James leading up to the 2010-11 NBA season about seemingly 100 times. It almost makes you wonder, how much actual rancor there was about James taking his talents to South Beach. Shouldn't ESPN have been able to dispatch Rachel Nichols to get to the bottom of this? Wouldn't there be more video than that one clip from back in July?
By the start of the NBA season this week, that single jersey burning clip felt like the dated, recycled clips from the ill-fated Disco Demolition night at Comiskey Park(*). For a person born in 1980, it's hard to fathom this actually happened. Usually Americans, especially American sports fans are so apathetic and except the status quo, so to see fans foaming at the mouth over lazy studio beats and Gloria Gaynor records is shockingly amazing to a person of my age. Why did disco, like LeBron's move to Miami, strike such a raw nerve from sea to shining sea?
(*) Is there anything that could happen to be the 2010 version of this? Destroying Justin Beiber or Black Eyed Peas MP3s at a hockey game? Oh wait ...
That lone jersey-burning is the only smoking gun about LeBron's nefarious move from his home-state team to a South Beach -- the embodiment of everything superficial and fake in sports. Stodgy old columnists hated it. The people of Cleveland hated it. The general public seemed turned off by it.
But time, as we know, heals all wounds. Sure LeBron, or as author Scott Raab calls him, "The Whore of Akron" will be booed and jeered during his return to Cleveland. They're probably be some angry, WWF-styled signs. That's about it. Security will be so tight, nothing else could happen. Nobody is going to bombard him with "D" batteries or try to storm the court.
And even if he's joined the ranks of Art Modell and Rachel Phelps as the most hated people in Cleveland sports, what does it matter to LeBron? He got his money. He gets to chill in South Beach. He gets to ride on Dwyane Wade's coat tails.
Nobody likes me in Cleveland? Who cares.
Why is this worth mentioning?
In soccer it's nothing new. Enjoy this video of Sol "Judas" Campbell's first return to White Hart Lane as a member of Arsenal.
Granted, that's the televised, sanitary version of the game. Scanning through some of the amateur clips from inside the stands themselves, well, that's a different story. The level of vitriol hits on perhaps every touchy social moral. Nearly nine years after his move across North London from Tottenham to Arsenal, Campbell is still known simply as Judas, the same way Rio Ferdinand is called "Traitor" by still bitter Leeds United fans.
But Campbell is not alone. Let's look at how Barcelona fans -- a worldwide symbol of European cosmopolitanism and tolerance -- greeted Luis Figo when he returned to the Camp Nou in his first match with Real Madrid. (Notice the coaches for each team at the time. Familiar faces.)
Yep, if you didn't already know the story (or the footage was too grainy), that was a pig head.
The classic example of this type of transfer-related hate was Mo Johnston switching allegiances from Celtic to Rangers, a move that had almost as much of a political tone to it than sports.
See, with soccer this is old hat. Those are just some high profile examples, but there are countless others, where a star player turns his back -- or more accurately moves on -- from his small provincial club to one with more money. Stories like Niko Kranjcar moving from Dinamo Zagreb to Hadjuk Split and the ensuing death threats he received are, sadly, nothing new. Or grammatically accurate hoods threatening Wayne Rooney's life if he tried to move to Manchester City.
LeBron's move seemed to touch such a raw nerve and trigger emotions inside many American sports fans they couldn't quite it explain. When you stripe down LeBron's motivations, they're justifiable. Yet something about the whole circus made most fans stomachs crawl. We're just not used to this level of craven, calculating manipulation.
Maybe it's just a matter of mentalities.
It seems in America we love to romanticize sports and always want that warm and fuzzy ending. We love the underdog. We like to think that our major sports have a destiny to them ... that they mean more than a random gathering of five or nine or 11 men excelling in a child's game and winning a trophy. There's a greater purpose to them, or at least we want our athletic heroes to think and act like that, instead of the grim reality that it's a business first and foremost.
More to the LeBron point, in most non-American sports the mercenary aspect of the games isn't as frowned upon. Sure teams like Real Madrid take it to the extreme, but nobody bats too many eyes at "superteams." Players making career moves to line up alongside other high-caliber professional is the norm. Plus, don't forget, outside of baseball, with salary caps and roster management it's difficult for American franchises to stack the deck in this type of Florentino Perez cream-dream scenario.
Chances are the LeBron move won't usher in an era of this type of fan rancor in America. That move was the perfect storm. More likely is the growing divide between the the Solipsism of current athletes and the general public.
There was a line in the fourth season of 'The Sopranos' where Tony accidentally sleeps with Uncle Junior's Russian (possibly Kazakh) nurse, Svetlana. Remember, the blond with the artificial leg. Post coitus, Tony starting spewing his neurosis to her and she doesn't want to hear it, basically saying something along the lines of, "You Americans always expect thing to go right, while the rest of the wrong expects them to go wrong."
Then again, whichever side of the Atlantic you sit, there's not cure for a broken (sports) heart, hence the burning jerseys and projectile pig heads.
Round 10 EPL Picks:
Note, with the clock change across the Atlantic, the Sunday late game will now run into the first quarter of NFL kickoffs. With Liverpool playing Bolton at that time, part-time TOP contributor Ace Cowboy will be conflicted, with the Jets playing the Packers beginning at 1 p.m. Eastern.
Saturday:
* Everton v. Stoke City -- It's a shame SNL had to make that "MacGruber" movie. Why? I honestly, 100-percent without a shred of "deep V"-wearing, faux-hawking rocking irony enjoy it's source material, "MacGyver."
Why does this upset me? Well, I'd like to continue to use my "MacGyver" analogy to describe Everton. Leon Osman gets hurt? David Moyes moves Johnny Heitinga to the midfield and Seamus Coleman out wide. Could this team have more interchangeable, quality parts? Expect, even with the slow start -- already in the rear view -- for the Toffees to press for a sixth place finish. As for Stoke City, if Tony Pulis and Tuncay can continue to see eye-to-eye and the Turk talisman provides a few match-winners, the Potters will push for the top half of the table. If not, they'll hover just above the serious relegation zone. ... Everton 1, Stoke City 0
* Arsenal v. West Ham United -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Not to jinx this game, but there's a possibility it could finish in the 7-0, 8-0 range. That would boil down to a) Arsenal getting an early lead -- entirely possible; and b) West Ham's players slumping their shoulders and throwing in the towel early. The Irons have a couple crafty players capable of goals, but that defense, sheesh. Maybe it's a good thing Jonathon Spector doesn't get any burn. ... Arsenal 4, West Ham 1
* Blackburn Rovers v. Chelsea -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) So ... Blackburn gets bought-out by an Indian "poultry and pharmaceuticals company" ... ? Ok, yeah, those go together about as well as "Nuts and Gum." At least the owners are realistic, setting their sights on ... 12th place. The English Premier League everybody! On paper this looks like another Chelsea romp, but Blackburn usually play the Blues tough at Ewood Park. Plus the Christopher Samba/Didier Drogba matchup alone is worth the price of admission. ... Blackburn 0, Chelsea 2
* Wolves v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Forget about the would-be MMA fight between in cleats between Karl Henry and Nigel de Jong. Let's talk about Carlos Tevez. If you haven't seen the European Pepsi ad he's currently starring in, well, it might break Bill Simmons Unintentional Comedy Machine. (Click the link, it's worth your 60 seconds. ... Fine, I'll embed it for the lazy folks.)
Back? Ok. You know when commentators talk in hyperbole about footballers being gifts from God? Maradona springs to mind. Maybe it applies to a footballing idiot savant like Tevez. Or in the words of Doctor Gonzo, Tevez is one of God's own prototypes, "Too weird to live, too rare to die."
Now, it finally makes sense why he's never learned English. It's Carlito's World, we're just living in it. Of course, Roque Santa Cruz in a radio interview this week, claims Tevez hates Manchester and wants to go back to (the jungles of) Argentina to be with this family. At this point, it would seem, City needs Tevez a lot more than Tevez needs City. You'd think this might be a problem, but Tevez, bless his heart, is such an honest player you always know he's going to give his 100 percent on the field. Dog it isn't in his vocabulary -- Spanish or English, well, obviously not English. Either way, when he retires, we need Gabriel García Márquez or some other great Spanish-language writer to tell his story.
Since Tevez has already been ruled out of this weekend's match, we might get an early glimpse of what a Tevez-less City would look like. Good thing they spent all that money on Mario Balotelli. ... Wolves 0, Manchester City 2
* Fulham v. Wigan Athletic -- Perfect example of the still-transient nature of the table: Fulham was riding high, unbeaten then goes out and loses its last two matches. Wigan were done-and-dusted, losing their first two matches by around 100-0. Now the Latics have two wins under their belts and are a point ahead of the Cottagers. Fulham, obviously, is beaten up with injuries across the field, triggering its drop. It's hard to know what Fulham is capable of with Damien Duff, Simon Davies, Danny Murphy and Dick Etutu all fighting with injuries. It might be mild cause for concern, since the firs three mentioned aren't exactly young any more. Maybe the bigger question is, considering how Clint Dempsey lays his body on the line every week, how has he avoided the casualty list? ... Fulham 1, Wigan Athletic 1
* Manchester United v. Tottenham -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Game of the week alert!
Let's look at the Manchester United side first. The club weathered the "RooBron" controversy, actually benefiting since Rooney himself is injured and jetting around the world with Colleen. There's no immediate worry about his form or where he fits in. Now I'm not sure any Red Devil supporters are predicting Rooney to be a second half of the season salvation, but at least he's still around and not hurting the team with indifferent performances, which might be more of the norm going forward.
Meanwhile, Chicharito has assumed the talismanic mantle, finding ways to win games one way or another. If the little Mexican can keep it up and get some help from Nani and one other player every week, United can push in the top four, though there's still something missing with this team in the center of the field and in the back. It might be false hope, but it's hope nonetheless.
Tottenham, if you went position-by-position, might actually have more talent on the field at Old Trafford Saturday, or at least more in-form talent, namely Rafael van der Vaart. The Dutchman has scored all his Spurs goals at White Hart Lane, but you'd think a guy like him will relish the big stage the so-called Theater of Dreams provides. Some players shrink in the spotlight, he embraces it. It'll be required grumbling inside Old Trafford to wonder how Sir Alex let the Dutchman go on the cheap from Real Madrid to Spurs.
Considering the history of these teams, it sets up for a lot of fun observation. Manchester United expect to win, while Spurs expect for the other shoe to drop. The biggest tactical decision is who Sir Alex Ferguson plays on the right side to try to tire-out Gareth Bale. We could see anyone from the group of John O'Shea, Gary Neville, Rafael or even Ji-Sung Park trying to drape all over the Welshman and slow him down. Teams, it should be noted, are making him their No. 1 priority, which should open up space for Luka Modric or Tom Huddlestone.
On paper, Spurs seem primed for the upset but something tells me Dimitar Berbatov finds a way to break Tottenham hearts again. ... Manchester United 2, Spurs 1
Sunday:
* Aston Villa v. Birmingham City -- (Live, FSC.tv, 8 a.m.) Aston Villa have gone over five halves of Premier League action without a goal. Blame Gerard Houllier I guess. It makes you feel less empty inside than continually bashing Emile Heskey, who's reverting back to the guy who was put out to pasture at Wigan a couple seasons ago. At least Villa welcomes Birmingham City to Villa Park, a team they've beaten six-straight times at this level. Weird things seem to undo Birmingham in this match, lots of controversial penalties and such. Maybe Stephen Ireland is the missing link between the Aston Villa midfield and forwards. Maybe not? He's going to be needed since the club will be without: Stylian Petrov, John Carew, Gabriel Agbonlahor and Marc Albrighton, too. If Birmingham City is ever going to beat their city rivals, now is the time. ... Aston Villa 1, Birmingham City 1
* Newcastle United v. Sunderland -- (Live, FSC+, 9:30 a.m.) You know why this is a good rivalry? Wait don't answer that (or consult Wikipedia or Google). It's like trying to answer why Springfield and Shelbyville hate each other. It's just one of those things, more impressive since neither team has exactly lit English football alight over the last half century. Since your team won't win a trophy, at least it can beat your most deep-seated enemy from across the river, right?
Sunderland seem indicative of the Premier League at the moment. Kind of okay, not great, but horrible. They're 2-6-1, with a seven-game unbeaten string ... which is good enough for seventh. Want an astounding fact? Titus Bramble, yes the walking punchline, has the seventh-most EPL Fantasy points for defenders, ahead of stalwarts like Nemanja Vidic and Branislav Ivanovic. Steve Bruce, by making moves for guys like Bramble, has put together a team that is competent enough to hang with the top clubs, but not dynamic enough outside of Darren Bent to make any serious run at a European spot.
Newcastle are almost the opposite, always walking a high-wire, high-energy tight rope.
Maybe if the clubs merged into one giant Geordie Army, give Andy Carroll and Kevin Nolan to Sunderland and you've got a dangerous squad. Of course, Shelbyville wouldn't return the Springfield Lemon Tree without a fight. Ah, flights of fancy. ... Newcastle United 2, Sunderland 1
* Bolton v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, noon) Bolton might be the most predictable, settled squad in the League. You know what Owen Coyle is throwing out there, your standard 4-4-2. Liverpool? By contrast, are still unsettled and uncertain as Roy Hodgson trying to manipulate the Anfield Rubix Cube into a winning combination. At the moment he can't figure out a way to get the Christian Poulsen black colored tile off the side with all the other Reds, lousing up the whole thing.
On an unrealted note, it's funny to read English writers trying to make heads and tails of John (W) Henry and the NESV purchase of Liverpool. Paul Heyward tries to equate the Red Sox success to "Moneyball", or the principle a winning team can be built inexpensively. Do they realize the Red Sox have the second-highest payroll in baseball at $161 million, second highest in the sport? The now-diluted principle from "Moneyball" (not written by Billy Beane, Joe Morgan) is finding value in places no one else is looking. So if Liverpool were really taking a "Moneyball" approach it would be things like investing in academies in untapped places like China or even the U.S., not spending less on players. Anyway ... Bolton 1, Liverpool 1
Monday:
* Blackpool v. West Bromich Albion -- (Live, 4 p.m. ????) It's always a good sign where you club captain, in this case Scott Adam, takes the team to court for unpaid bonuses, right? It hasn't ceased to amaze me both these teams are off to flying starts. Is it all down to mentality? Or specifically neither team is playing the, "we're happy to be here" card? Both teams have put their focus on passing and attack, not hunkering behind the ball, so this should be a fun, wide-open match. ... Blackpool 2, West Brom 3
Last week: 7-3
Season: 39-51
Oh .... one more thing:
It's Halloween weekend. You're welcome. I held back from pumpkin puns. I had a whole patch err, batch of them.
No, I won't be dressing up or anything. One day, however, I'll create my No. 1 all-time costume, the David Byrne giant suit from "Stop Making Sense." The problem, I don't have the sewing skills to even attempt such an outfit and the only people that would appreciate it are the very hipsters I knock at every chance.
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, EPL picks
tevez is a skinny, spanish-speaking nick frost.
Here's a Fire Joe Morganed version of that Heyward article: http://www.weaintgotnohistory.com/2010/10/28/1779620/liverpool-moneyball-and-awful-journalism