Believe it or not, your humble author doesn't watch all that much programming on ESPN, despite my continual swipes at the self-proclaimed, "World Wide Leader in Sports."
In actuality the most I watch the network is when I'm working out doing cardio at my gym on the overhead televisions. This is usually without any sound, unless I want to torture myself during the "Top 10 Plays" to hear Chris McKendry and John Buccigross butcher a soccer highlight.
Since mid-July and the airing of "The Decision" I've must have seen ESPN re-run the clip of Cleveland Cavaliers fans burning a jersey of ex-hero LeBron James leading up to the 2010-11 NBA season about seemingly 100 times. It almost makes you wonder, how much actual rancor there was about James taking his talents to South Beach. Shouldn't ESPN have been able to dispatch Rachel Nichols to get to the bottom of this? Wouldn't there be more video than that one clip from back in July?
By the start of the NBA season this week, that single jersey burning clip felt like the dated, recycled clips from the ill-fated Disco Demolition night at Comiskey Park(*). For a person born in 1980, it's hard to fathom this actually happened. Usually Americans, especially American sports fans are so apathetic and except the status quo, so to see fans foaming at the mouth over lazy studio beats and Gloria Gaynor records is shockingly amazing to a person of my age. Why did disco, like LeBron's move to Miami, strike such a raw nerve from sea to shining sea?
(*) Is there anything that could happen to be the 2010 version of this? Destroying Justin Beiber or Black Eyed Peas MP3s at a hockey game? Oh wait ...
That lone jersey-burning is the only smoking gun about LeBron's nefarious move from his home-state team to a South Beach -- the embodiment of everything superficial and fake in sports. Stodgy old columnists hated it. The people of Cleveland hated it. The general public seemed turned off by it.
But time, as we know, heals all wounds. Sure LeBron, or as author Scott Raab calls him, "The Whore of Akron" will be booed and jeered during his return to Cleveland. They're probably be some angry, WWF-styled signs. That's about it. Security will be so tight, nothing else could happen. Nobody is going to bombard him with "D" batteries or try to storm the court.
And even if he's joined the ranks of Art Modell and Rachel Phelps as the most hated people in Cleveland sports, what does it matter to LeBron? He got his money. He gets to chill in South Beach. He gets to ride on Dwyane Wade's coat tails.
Nobody likes me in Cleveland? Who cares.
Why is this worth mentioning?
In soccer it's nothing new. Enjoy this video of Sol "Judas" Campbell's first return to White Hart Lane as a member of Arsenal.
Granted, that's the televised, sanitary version of the game. Scanning through some of the amateur clips from inside the stands themselves, well, that's a different story. The level of vitriol hits on perhaps every touchy social moral. Nearly nine years after his move across North London from Tottenham to Arsenal, Campbell is still known simply as Judas, the same way Rio Ferdinand is called "Traitor" by still bitter Leeds United fans.
But Campbell is not alone. Let's look at how Barcelona fans -- a worldwide symbol of European cosmopolitanism and tolerance -- greeted Luis Figo when he returned to the Camp Nou in his first match with Real Madrid. (Notice the coaches for each team at the time. Familiar faces.)
Yep, if you didn't already know the story (or the footage was too grainy), that was a pig head.
The classic example of this type of transfer-related hate was Mo Johnston switching allegiances from Celtic to Rangers, a move that had almost as much of a political tone to it than sports.
See, with soccer this is old hat. Those are just some high profile examples, but there are countless others, where a star player turns his back -- or more accurately moves on -- from his small provincial club to one with more money. Stories like Niko Kranjcar moving from Dinamo Zagreb to Hadjuk Split and the ensuing death threats he received are, sadly, nothing new. Or grammatically accurate hoods threatening Wayne Rooney's life if he tried to move to Manchester City.
LeBron's move seemed to touch such a raw nerve and trigger emotions inside many American sports fans they couldn't quite it explain. When you stripe down LeBron's motivations, they're justifiable. Yet something about the whole circus made most fans stomachs crawl. We're just not used to this level of craven, calculating manipulation.
Maybe it's just a matter of mentalities.
It seems in America we love to romanticize sports and always want that warm and fuzzy ending. We love the underdog. We like to think that our major sports have a destiny to them ... that they mean more than a random gathering of five or nine or 11 men excelling in a child's game and winning a trophy. There's a greater purpose to them, or at least we want our athletic heroes to think and act like that, instead of the grim reality that it's a business first and foremost.
More to the LeBron point, in most non-American sports the mercenary aspect of the games isn't as frowned upon. Sure teams like Real Madrid take it to the extreme, but nobody bats too many eyes at "superteams." Players making career moves to line up alongside other high-caliber professional is the norm. Plus, don't forget, outside of baseball, with salary caps and roster management it's difficult for American franchises to stack the deck in this type of Florentino Perez cream-dream scenario.
Chances are the LeBron move won't usher in an era of this type of fan rancor in America. That move was the perfect storm. More likely is the growing divide between the the Solipsism of current athletes and the general public.
There was a line in the fourth season of 'The Sopranos' where Tony accidentally sleeps with Uncle Junior's Russian (possibly Kazakh) nurse, Svetlana. Remember, the blond with the artificial leg. Post coitus, Tony starting spewing his neurosis to her and she doesn't want to hear it, basically saying something along the lines of, "You Americans always expect thing to go right, while the rest of the wrong expects them to go wrong."
Then again, whichever side of the Atlantic you sit, there's not cure for a broken (sports) heart, hence the burning jerseys and projectile pig heads.
Round 10 EPL Picks:
Note, with the clock change across the Atlantic, the Sunday late game will now run into the first quarter of NFL kickoffs. With Liverpool playing Bolton at that time, part-time TOP contributor Ace Cowboy will be conflicted, with the Jets playing the Packers beginning at 1 p.m. Eastern.
Saturday:
* Everton v. Stoke City -- It's a shame SNL had to make that "MacGruber" movie. Why? I honestly, 100-percent without a shred of "deep V"-wearing, faux-hawking rocking irony enjoy it's source material, "MacGyver."
Why does this upset me? Well, I'd like to continue to use my "MacGyver" analogy to describe Everton. Leon Osman gets hurt? David Moyes moves Johnny Heitinga to the midfield and Seamus Coleman out wide. Could this team have more interchangeable, quality parts? Expect, even with the slow start -- already in the rear view -- for the Toffees to press for a sixth place finish. As for Stoke City, if Tony Pulis and Tuncay can continue to see eye-to-eye and the Turk talisman provides a few match-winners, the Potters will push for the top half of the table. If not, they'll hover just above the serious relegation zone. ... Everton 1, Stoke City 0
* Arsenal v. West Ham United -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Not to jinx this game, but there's a possibility it could finish in the 7-0, 8-0 range. That would boil down to a) Arsenal getting an early lead -- entirely possible; and b) West Ham's players slumping their shoulders and throwing in the towel early. The Irons have a couple crafty players capable of goals, but that defense, sheesh. Maybe it's a good thing Jonathon Spector doesn't get any burn. ... Arsenal 4, West Ham 1
* Blackburn Rovers v. Chelsea -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) So ... Blackburn gets bought-out by an Indian "poultry and pharmaceuticals company" ... ? Ok, yeah, those go together about as well as "Nuts and Gum." At least the owners are realistic, setting their sights on ... 12th place. The English Premier League everybody! On paper this looks like another Chelsea romp, but Blackburn usually play the Blues tough at Ewood Park. Plus the Christopher Samba/Didier Drogba matchup alone is worth the price of admission. ... Blackburn 0, Chelsea 2
* Wolves v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Forget about the would-be MMA fight between in cleats between Karl Henry and Nigel de Jong. Let's talk about Carlos Tevez. If you haven't seen the European Pepsi ad he's currently starring in, well, it might break Bill Simmons Unintentional Comedy Machine. (Click the link, it's worth your 60 seconds. ... Fine, I'll embed it for the lazy folks.)
Back? Ok. You know when commentators talk in hyperbole about footballers being gifts from God? Maradona springs to mind. Maybe it applies to a footballing idiot savant like Tevez. Or in the words of Doctor Gonzo, Tevez is one of God's own prototypes, "Too weird to live, too rare to die."
Now, it finally makes sense why he's never learned English. It's Carlito's World, we're just living in it. Of course, Roque Santa Cruz in a radio interview this week, claims Tevez hates Manchester and wants to go back to (the jungles of) Argentina to be with this family. At this point, it would seem, City needs Tevez a lot more than Tevez needs City. You'd think this might be a problem, but Tevez, bless his heart, is such an honest player you always know he's going to give his 100 percent on the field. Dog it isn't in his vocabulary -- Spanish or English, well, obviously not English. Either way, when he retires, we need Gabriel García Márquez or some other great Spanish-language writer to tell his story.
Since Tevez has already been ruled out of this weekend's match, we might get an early glimpse of what a Tevez-less City would look like. Good thing they spent all that money on Mario Balotelli. ... Wolves 0, Manchester City 2
* Fulham v. Wigan Athletic -- Perfect example of the still-transient nature of the table: Fulham was riding high, unbeaten then goes out and loses its last two matches. Wigan were done-and-dusted, losing their first two matches by around 100-0. Now the Latics have two wins under their belts and are a point ahead of the Cottagers. Fulham, obviously, is beaten up with injuries across the field, triggering its drop. It's hard to know what Fulham is capable of with Damien Duff, Simon Davies, Danny Murphy and Dick Etutu all fighting with injuries. It might be mild cause for concern, since the firs three mentioned aren't exactly young any more. Maybe the bigger question is, considering how Clint Dempsey lays his body on the line every week, how has he avoided the casualty list? ... Fulham 1, Wigan Athletic 1
* Manchester United v. Tottenham -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Game of the week alert!
Let's look at the Manchester United side first. The club weathered the "RooBron" controversy, actually benefiting since Rooney himself is injured and jetting around the world with Colleen. There's no immediate worry about his form or where he fits in. Now I'm not sure any Red Devil supporters are predicting Rooney to be a second half of the season salvation, but at least he's still around and not hurting the team with indifferent performances, which might be more of the norm going forward.
Meanwhile, Chicharito has assumed the talismanic mantle, finding ways to win games one way or another. If the little Mexican can keep it up and get some help from Nani and one other player every week, United can push in the top four, though there's still something missing with this team in the center of the field and in the back. It might be false hope, but it's hope nonetheless.
Tottenham, if you went position-by-position, might actually have more talent on the field at Old Trafford Saturday, or at least more in-form talent, namely Rafael van der Vaart. The Dutchman has scored all his Spurs goals at White Hart Lane, but you'd think a guy like him will relish the big stage the so-called Theater of Dreams provides. Some players shrink in the spotlight, he embraces it. It'll be required grumbling inside Old Trafford to wonder how Sir Alex let the Dutchman go on the cheap from Real Madrid to Spurs.
Considering the history of these teams, it sets up for a lot of fun observation. Manchester United expect to win, while Spurs expect for the other shoe to drop. The biggest tactical decision is who Sir Alex Ferguson plays on the right side to try to tire-out Gareth Bale. We could see anyone from the group of John O'Shea, Gary Neville, Rafael or even Ji-Sung Park trying to drape all over the Welshman and slow him down. Teams, it should be noted, are making him their No. 1 priority, which should open up space for Luka Modric or Tom Huddlestone.
On paper, Spurs seem primed for the upset but something tells me Dimitar Berbatov finds a way to break Tottenham hearts again. ... Manchester United 2, Spurs 1
Sunday:
* Aston Villa v. Birmingham City -- (Live, FSC.tv, 8 a.m.) Aston Villa have gone over five halves of Premier League action without a goal. Blame Gerard Houllier I guess. It makes you feel less empty inside than continually bashing Emile Heskey, who's reverting back to the guy who was put out to pasture at Wigan a couple seasons ago. At least Villa welcomes Birmingham City to Villa Park, a team they've beaten six-straight times at this level. Weird things seem to undo Birmingham in this match, lots of controversial penalties and such. Maybe Stephen Ireland is the missing link between the Aston Villa midfield and forwards. Maybe not? He's going to be needed since the club will be without: Stylian Petrov, John Carew, Gabriel Agbonlahor and Marc Albrighton, too. If Birmingham City is ever going to beat their city rivals, now is the time. ... Aston Villa 1, Birmingham City 1
* Newcastle United v. Sunderland -- (Live, FSC+, 9:30 a.m.) You know why this is a good rivalry? Wait don't answer that (or consult Wikipedia or Google). It's like trying to answer why Springfield and Shelbyville hate each other. It's just one of those things, more impressive since neither team has exactly lit English football alight over the last half century. Since your team won't win a trophy, at least it can beat your most deep-seated enemy from across the river, right?
Sunderland seem indicative of the Premier League at the moment. Kind of okay, not great, but horrible. They're 2-6-1, with a seven-game unbeaten string ... which is good enough for seventh. Want an astounding fact? Titus Bramble, yes the walking punchline, has the seventh-most EPL Fantasy points for defenders, ahead of stalwarts like Nemanja Vidic and Branislav Ivanovic. Steve Bruce, by making moves for guys like Bramble, has put together a team that is competent enough to hang with the top clubs, but not dynamic enough outside of Darren Bent to make any serious run at a European spot.
Newcastle are almost the opposite, always walking a high-wire, high-energy tight rope.
Maybe if the clubs merged into one giant Geordie Army, give Andy Carroll and Kevin Nolan to Sunderland and you've got a dangerous squad. Of course, Shelbyville wouldn't return the Springfield Lemon Tree without a fight. Ah, flights of fancy. ... Newcastle United 2, Sunderland 1
* Bolton v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, noon) Bolton might be the most predictable, settled squad in the League. You know what Owen Coyle is throwing out there, your standard 4-4-2. Liverpool? By contrast, are still unsettled and uncertain as Roy Hodgson trying to manipulate the Anfield Rubix Cube into a winning combination. At the moment he can't figure out a way to get the Christian Poulsen black colored tile off the side with all the other Reds, lousing up the whole thing.
On an unrealted note, it's funny to read English writers trying to make heads and tails of John (W) Henry and the NESV purchase of Liverpool. Paul Heyward tries to equate the Red Sox success to "Moneyball", or the principle a winning team can be built inexpensively. Do they realize the Red Sox have the second-highest payroll in baseball at $161 million, second highest in the sport? The now-diluted principle from "Moneyball" (not written by Billy Beane, Joe Morgan) is finding value in places no one else is looking. So if Liverpool were really taking a "Moneyball" approach it would be things like investing in academies in untapped places like China or even the U.S., not spending less on players. Anyway ... Bolton 1, Liverpool 1
Monday:
* Blackpool v. West Bromich Albion -- (Live, 4 p.m. ????) It's always a good sign where you club captain, in this case Scott Adam, takes the team to court for unpaid bonuses, right? It hasn't ceased to amaze me both these teams are off to flying starts. Is it all down to mentality? Or specifically neither team is playing the, "we're happy to be here" card? Both teams have put their focus on passing and attack, not hunkering behind the ball, so this should be a fun, wide-open match. ... Blackpool 2, West Brom 3
Last week: 7-3
Season: 39-51
Oh .... one more thing:
It's Halloween weekend. You're welcome. I held back from pumpkin puns. I had a whole patch err, batch of them.
No, I won't be dressing up or anything. One day, however, I'll create my No. 1 all-time costume, the David Byrne giant suit from "Stop Making Sense." The problem, I don't have the sewing skills to even attempt such an outfit and the only people that would appreciate it are the very hipsters I knock at every chance.
In actuality the most I watch the network is when I'm working out doing cardio at my gym on the overhead televisions. This is usually without any sound, unless I want to torture myself during the "Top 10 Plays" to hear Chris McKendry and John Buccigross butcher a soccer highlight.
Since mid-July and the airing of "The Decision" I've must have seen ESPN re-run the clip of Cleveland Cavaliers fans burning a jersey of ex-hero LeBron James leading up to the 2010-11 NBA season about seemingly 100 times. It almost makes you wonder, how much actual rancor there was about James taking his talents to South Beach. Shouldn't ESPN have been able to dispatch Rachel Nichols to get to the bottom of this? Wouldn't there be more video than that one clip from back in July?
By the start of the NBA season this week, that single jersey burning clip felt like the dated, recycled clips from the ill-fated Disco Demolition night at Comiskey Park(*). For a person born in 1980, it's hard to fathom this actually happened. Usually Americans, especially American sports fans are so apathetic and except the status quo, so to see fans foaming at the mouth over lazy studio beats and Gloria Gaynor records is shockingly amazing to a person of my age. Why did disco, like LeBron's move to Miami, strike such a raw nerve from sea to shining sea?
(*) Is there anything that could happen to be the 2010 version of this? Destroying Justin Beiber or Black Eyed Peas MP3s at a hockey game? Oh wait ...
That lone jersey-burning is the only smoking gun about LeBron's nefarious move from his home-state team to a South Beach -- the embodiment of everything superficial and fake in sports. Stodgy old columnists hated it. The people of Cleveland hated it. The general public seemed turned off by it.
But time, as we know, heals all wounds. Sure LeBron, or as author Scott Raab calls him, "The Whore of Akron" will be booed and jeered during his return to Cleveland. They're probably be some angry, WWF-styled signs. That's about it. Security will be so tight, nothing else could happen. Nobody is going to bombard him with "D" batteries or try to storm the court.
And even if he's joined the ranks of Art Modell and Rachel Phelps as the most hated people in Cleveland sports, what does it matter to LeBron? He got his money. He gets to chill in South Beach. He gets to ride on Dwyane Wade's coat tails.
Nobody likes me in Cleveland? Who cares.
Why is this worth mentioning?
In soccer it's nothing new. Enjoy this video of Sol "Judas" Campbell's first return to White Hart Lane as a member of Arsenal.
Granted, that's the televised, sanitary version of the game. Scanning through some of the amateur clips from inside the stands themselves, well, that's a different story. The level of vitriol hits on perhaps every touchy social moral. Nearly nine years after his move across North London from Tottenham to Arsenal, Campbell is still known simply as Judas, the same way Rio Ferdinand is called "Traitor" by still bitter Leeds United fans.
But Campbell is not alone. Let's look at how Barcelona fans -- a worldwide symbol of European cosmopolitanism and tolerance -- greeted Luis Figo when he returned to the Camp Nou in his first match with Real Madrid. (Notice the coaches for each team at the time. Familiar faces.)
Yep, if you didn't already know the story (or the footage was too grainy), that was a pig head.
The classic example of this type of transfer-related hate was Mo Johnston switching allegiances from Celtic to Rangers, a move that had almost as much of a political tone to it than sports.
See, with soccer this is old hat. Those are just some high profile examples, but there are countless others, where a star player turns his back -- or more accurately moves on -- from his small provincial club to one with more money. Stories like Niko Kranjcar moving from Dinamo Zagreb to Hadjuk Split and the ensuing death threats he received are, sadly, nothing new. Or grammatically accurate hoods threatening Wayne Rooney's life if he tried to move to Manchester City.
LeBron's move seemed to touch such a raw nerve and trigger emotions inside many American sports fans they couldn't quite it explain. When you stripe down LeBron's motivations, they're justifiable. Yet something about the whole circus made most fans stomachs crawl. We're just not used to this level of craven, calculating manipulation.
Maybe it's just a matter of mentalities.
It seems in America we love to romanticize sports and always want that warm and fuzzy ending. We love the underdog. We like to think that our major sports have a destiny to them ... that they mean more than a random gathering of five or nine or 11 men excelling in a child's game and winning a trophy. There's a greater purpose to them, or at least we want our athletic heroes to think and act like that, instead of the grim reality that it's a business first and foremost.
More to the LeBron point, in most non-American sports the mercenary aspect of the games isn't as frowned upon. Sure teams like Real Madrid take it to the extreme, but nobody bats too many eyes at "superteams." Players making career moves to line up alongside other high-caliber professional is the norm. Plus, don't forget, outside of baseball, with salary caps and roster management it's difficult for American franchises to stack the deck in this type of Florentino Perez cream-dream scenario.
Chances are the LeBron move won't usher in an era of this type of fan rancor in America. That move was the perfect storm. More likely is the growing divide between the the Solipsism of current athletes and the general public.
There was a line in the fourth season of 'The Sopranos' where Tony accidentally sleeps with Uncle Junior's Russian (possibly Kazakh) nurse, Svetlana. Remember, the blond with the artificial leg. Post coitus, Tony starting spewing his neurosis to her and she doesn't want to hear it, basically saying something along the lines of, "You Americans always expect thing to go right, while the rest of the wrong expects them to go wrong."
Then again, whichever side of the Atlantic you sit, there's not cure for a broken (sports) heart, hence the burning jerseys and projectile pig heads.
Round 10 EPL Picks:
Note, with the clock change across the Atlantic, the Sunday late game will now run into the first quarter of NFL kickoffs. With Liverpool playing Bolton at that time, part-time TOP contributor Ace Cowboy will be conflicted, with the Jets playing the Packers beginning at 1 p.m. Eastern.
Saturday:
* Everton v. Stoke City -- It's a shame SNL had to make that "MacGruber" movie. Why? I honestly, 100-percent without a shred of "deep V"-wearing, faux-hawking rocking irony enjoy it's source material, "MacGyver."
Why does this upset me? Well, I'd like to continue to use my "MacGyver" analogy to describe Everton. Leon Osman gets hurt? David Moyes moves Johnny Heitinga to the midfield and Seamus Coleman out wide. Could this team have more interchangeable, quality parts? Expect, even with the slow start -- already in the rear view -- for the Toffees to press for a sixth place finish. As for Stoke City, if Tony Pulis and Tuncay can continue to see eye-to-eye and the Turk talisman provides a few match-winners, the Potters will push for the top half of the table. If not, they'll hover just above the serious relegation zone. ... Everton 1, Stoke City 0
* Arsenal v. West Ham United -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Not to jinx this game, but there's a possibility it could finish in the 7-0, 8-0 range. That would boil down to a) Arsenal getting an early lead -- entirely possible; and b) West Ham's players slumping their shoulders and throwing in the towel early. The Irons have a couple crafty players capable of goals, but that defense, sheesh. Maybe it's a good thing Jonathon Spector doesn't get any burn. ... Arsenal 4, West Ham 1
* Blackburn Rovers v. Chelsea -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) So ... Blackburn gets bought-out by an Indian "poultry and pharmaceuticals company" ... ? Ok, yeah, those go together about as well as "Nuts and Gum." At least the owners are realistic, setting their sights on ... 12th place. The English Premier League everybody! On paper this looks like another Chelsea romp, but Blackburn usually play the Blues tough at Ewood Park. Plus the Christopher Samba/Didier Drogba matchup alone is worth the price of admission. ... Blackburn 0, Chelsea 2
* Wolves v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Forget about the would-be MMA fight between in cleats between Karl Henry and Nigel de Jong. Let's talk about Carlos Tevez. If you haven't seen the European Pepsi ad he's currently starring in, well, it might break Bill Simmons Unintentional Comedy Machine. (Click the link, it's worth your 60 seconds. ... Fine, I'll embed it for the lazy folks.)
Back? Ok. You know when commentators talk in hyperbole about footballers being gifts from God? Maradona springs to mind. Maybe it applies to a footballing idiot savant like Tevez. Or in the words of Doctor Gonzo, Tevez is one of God's own prototypes, "Too weird to live, too rare to die."
Now, it finally makes sense why he's never learned English. It's Carlito's World, we're just living in it. Of course, Roque Santa Cruz in a radio interview this week, claims Tevez hates Manchester and wants to go back to (the jungles of) Argentina to be with this family. At this point, it would seem, City needs Tevez a lot more than Tevez needs City. You'd think this might be a problem, but Tevez, bless his heart, is such an honest player you always know he's going to give his 100 percent on the field. Dog it isn't in his vocabulary -- Spanish or English, well, obviously not English. Either way, when he retires, we need Gabriel García Márquez or some other great Spanish-language writer to tell his story.
Since Tevez has already been ruled out of this weekend's match, we might get an early glimpse of what a Tevez-less City would look like. Good thing they spent all that money on Mario Balotelli. ... Wolves 0, Manchester City 2
* Fulham v. Wigan Athletic -- Perfect example of the still-transient nature of the table: Fulham was riding high, unbeaten then goes out and loses its last two matches. Wigan were done-and-dusted, losing their first two matches by around 100-0. Now the Latics have two wins under their belts and are a point ahead of the Cottagers. Fulham, obviously, is beaten up with injuries across the field, triggering its drop. It's hard to know what Fulham is capable of with Damien Duff, Simon Davies, Danny Murphy and Dick Etutu all fighting with injuries. It might be mild cause for concern, since the firs three mentioned aren't exactly young any more. Maybe the bigger question is, considering how Clint Dempsey lays his body on the line every week, how has he avoided the casualty list? ... Fulham 1, Wigan Athletic 1
* Manchester United v. Tottenham -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Game of the week alert!
Let's look at the Manchester United side first. The club weathered the "RooBron" controversy, actually benefiting since Rooney himself is injured and jetting around the world with Colleen. There's no immediate worry about his form or where he fits in. Now I'm not sure any Red Devil supporters are predicting Rooney to be a second half of the season salvation, but at least he's still around and not hurting the team with indifferent performances, which might be more of the norm going forward.
Meanwhile, Chicharito has assumed the talismanic mantle, finding ways to win games one way or another. If the little Mexican can keep it up and get some help from Nani and one other player every week, United can push in the top four, though there's still something missing with this team in the center of the field and in the back. It might be false hope, but it's hope nonetheless.
Tottenham, if you went position-by-position, might actually have more talent on the field at Old Trafford Saturday, or at least more in-form talent, namely Rafael van der Vaart. The Dutchman has scored all his Spurs goals at White Hart Lane, but you'd think a guy like him will relish the big stage the so-called Theater of Dreams provides. Some players shrink in the spotlight, he embraces it. It'll be required grumbling inside Old Trafford to wonder how Sir Alex let the Dutchman go on the cheap from Real Madrid to Spurs.
Considering the history of these teams, it sets up for a lot of fun observation. Manchester United expect to win, while Spurs expect for the other shoe to drop. The biggest tactical decision is who Sir Alex Ferguson plays on the right side to try to tire-out Gareth Bale. We could see anyone from the group of John O'Shea, Gary Neville, Rafael or even Ji-Sung Park trying to drape all over the Welshman and slow him down. Teams, it should be noted, are making him their No. 1 priority, which should open up space for Luka Modric or Tom Huddlestone.
On paper, Spurs seem primed for the upset but something tells me Dimitar Berbatov finds a way to break Tottenham hearts again. ... Manchester United 2, Spurs 1
Sunday:
* Aston Villa v. Birmingham City -- (Live, FSC.tv, 8 a.m.) Aston Villa have gone over five halves of Premier League action without a goal. Blame Gerard Houllier I guess. It makes you feel less empty inside than continually bashing Emile Heskey, who's reverting back to the guy who was put out to pasture at Wigan a couple seasons ago. At least Villa welcomes Birmingham City to Villa Park, a team they've beaten six-straight times at this level. Weird things seem to undo Birmingham in this match, lots of controversial penalties and such. Maybe Stephen Ireland is the missing link between the Aston Villa midfield and forwards. Maybe not? He's going to be needed since the club will be without: Stylian Petrov, John Carew, Gabriel Agbonlahor and Marc Albrighton, too. If Birmingham City is ever going to beat their city rivals, now is the time. ... Aston Villa 1, Birmingham City 1
* Newcastle United v. Sunderland -- (Live, FSC+, 9:30 a.m.) You know why this is a good rivalry? Wait don't answer that (or consult Wikipedia or Google). It's like trying to answer why Springfield and Shelbyville hate each other. It's just one of those things, more impressive since neither team has exactly lit English football alight over the last half century. Since your team won't win a trophy, at least it can beat your most deep-seated enemy from across the river, right?
Sunderland seem indicative of the Premier League at the moment. Kind of okay, not great, but horrible. They're 2-6-1, with a seven-game unbeaten string ... which is good enough for seventh. Want an astounding fact? Titus Bramble, yes the walking punchline, has the seventh-most EPL Fantasy points for defenders, ahead of stalwarts like Nemanja Vidic and Branislav Ivanovic. Steve Bruce, by making moves for guys like Bramble, has put together a team that is competent enough to hang with the top clubs, but not dynamic enough outside of Darren Bent to make any serious run at a European spot.
Newcastle are almost the opposite, always walking a high-wire, high-energy tight rope.
Maybe if the clubs merged into one giant Geordie Army, give Andy Carroll and Kevin Nolan to Sunderland and you've got a dangerous squad. Of course, Shelbyville wouldn't return the Springfield Lemon Tree without a fight. Ah, flights of fancy. ... Newcastle United 2, Sunderland 1
* Bolton v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, noon) Bolton might be the most predictable, settled squad in the League. You know what Owen Coyle is throwing out there, your standard 4-4-2. Liverpool? By contrast, are still unsettled and uncertain as Roy Hodgson trying to manipulate the Anfield Rubix Cube into a winning combination. At the moment he can't figure out a way to get the Christian Poulsen black colored tile off the side with all the other Reds, lousing up the whole thing.
On an unrealted note, it's funny to read English writers trying to make heads and tails of John (W) Henry and the NESV purchase of Liverpool. Paul Heyward tries to equate the Red Sox success to "Moneyball", or the principle a winning team can be built inexpensively. Do they realize the Red Sox have the second-highest payroll in baseball at $161 million, second highest in the sport? The now-diluted principle from "Moneyball" (not written by Billy Beane, Joe Morgan) is finding value in places no one else is looking. So if Liverpool were really taking a "Moneyball" approach it would be things like investing in academies in untapped places like China or even the U.S., not spending less on players. Anyway ... Bolton 1, Liverpool 1
Monday:
* Blackpool v. West Bromich Albion -- (Live, 4 p.m. ????) It's always a good sign where you club captain, in this case Scott Adam, takes the team to court for unpaid bonuses, right? It hasn't ceased to amaze me both these teams are off to flying starts. Is it all down to mentality? Or specifically neither team is playing the, "we're happy to be here" card? Both teams have put their focus on passing and attack, not hunkering behind the ball, so this should be a fun, wide-open match. ... Blackpool 2, West Brom 3
Last week: 7-3
Season: 39-51
Oh .... one more thing:
It's Halloween weekend. You're welcome. I held back from pumpkin puns. I had a whole patch err, batch of them.
No, I won't be dressing up or anything. One day, however, I'll create my No. 1 all-time costume, the David Byrne giant suit from "Stop Making Sense." The problem, I don't have the sewing skills to even attempt such an outfit and the only people that would appreciate it are the very hipsters I knock at every chance.
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, EPL picks
In the parlance of Sweet Dee from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," Round 9 of the Barclay's English Premier League didn't quite "pop" for me. Yet it was an eventful weekend, where a little more normalcy took place, as Chelsea, Arsenal, Manchester United and Liverpool all won making it feel like 2008(*) all over again.
(*) Hey, I'm having a Guitar Hero party. You're all invited. We can talk about what lies ahead for President Obama or last Monday's episode of "Heroes."
It left the table looking a little more static, as well. Chelsea on 22 are the front-runners and favorites until further notice. Arsenal, United and Manchester City are all chasing at 17, with Tottenham lurking on 15.
Without any further adieu (or dated pop culture references), my takes on the weekend in capsule form for added riboflavin.
Up the Arse-nal:
You don't need me to tell you that DedrykTatum Boyata being sent off inside of ten minutes changed the match. Was it the sole reason Arsenal won in tidy, 3-0, fashion? No, but it certainly played a role.
It was, however, another curious mental mistake from City which ended up costing the team. Previously, it was the Carlos Tevez missed sitter coupled with a last-minute penalty by Darren Bent vs. Sunderland, while a communication mix-up between Kolo Toure and Joe Hart cost Citeh vs. Blackburn.
In a sense, this team could be neck-and-neck with Chelsea, but it doesn't seem to have the sharpness -- yet -- of a championship caliber team. If Tevez, who limped off early in the second half, is hurt for an extended period Roberto Mancini will have to change things up.
Down a goal early thanks to the nifty one-two passing of Andrey Arshavin and Samir Nasri, City didn't have a way back. For City to make that next level leap of ascension, somebody from the group of David Silva, James Milner, Adam Johnson or even Mario Balotelli as he gets healthy needs to help take the pressure off Tevez every week in the Premier League.
Put it this way, in "FIFA 11" Manchester City's default formation has Yaya Toure as an attacking midfielder in a 4-2-3-1. Yeah, it's only a video game, but City might be the least exciting elite-level team in a while.
As for Arsenal, nice result, nay great result. The Gunners, with Cesc Fabregas back in action and recklessly laying his body on the line, got the job down without needing to break much of a sweat as City ran out of gas. Arsenal weren't even made to paid for passing the ball roughly 67 times in a movement before registering a shot, as Alex Song finally made it 2-0 late in the game.
There are a couple developments with Arsenal to track. First, Lukasz Fabianski -- horrendous mistake in last year's Champions League notwithstanding -- has done enough to merit the No. 1 keeper job ahead of Manuel Almunia. The young Pole made an excellent reaction save to stone Emmanuel Adebayor with the game still 1-0. Maybe he's not the greatest keeper ever and perhaps it won't quiet down the pining for a top-class player to grace the No. 1 shirt at the Emirates, but he's not Almunia and that's enough. There are simply too many bad vibes associated with the Ghost-chasing Spaniard at this point.
A little murkier, or at least a problem most coaches would like to have is what is Arsene Wenger going to do when Robin van Persie gets healthy? Are there enough minutes and places to effectively take advantage of Arshavin, Nasri, Maroune Chamakh, Theo Walcott, Tomas Rosicky, Nic Bendtner (scoring late in his return as a sub) and van Persie. Granted this is a good problem to have and considering the fragility of some of these players, chances are they all won't be healthy at once.
Nasri, though, might be the Gunners most influential offensive player behind Fabregas. The squad hasn't missed a beat with him filling in for Walcott.
If there's a verdict here, both teams will push Chelsea for the title. City are going to be harder for average teams to break down defensively, chalking up a lot of 1-0s in the process. Arsenal, on the other hand, give you chances but when the Gunners are one their game you're going to have trouble keeping them off the scoreboard.
Pea Party:
It was going to be deja vu all over again for Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United. We were about four minutes from the 2010-11 Red Devils calling card: blowing a lead in the second half, this time at Stoke City.
The culprit this time was going to be a guy who earlier this month had another falling out with his coach and looks like he bought his long, stringy mane from deceased singer Kevin DuBrow from the 1980s metal outfit, Quiet Riot.
How many Manchester United fans broke their remotes when Tuncay scored that pretty sweet individual goal in the 81st? Be honest.
Yet, for a change this season, United showed signs of life and pulled it back thanks to everyone's favorite Mexican, no not George Lopez (very funny) ... Chicharito, you dummies.
After scoring a goal with the back of his head(*) in the first half, the Little Pea rode to the rescue. The second was less spectacular, a simple tap-in in front of the net. It was enough to send the United supporters into rapture, including one over-zealous fan who ran onto the pitch at the Britianna, slipped onto his ass, got up and hugged the young Mexican forward. As I demanded on Twitter, we need an animated GIF-file of this epic soccer falldown fail.
(*) Back of his head, off his face in the Community Shield? My guess is his next trick will be nudging a ball over the goal line with his posterior.
The flopping fan was a much-needed moment of levity for Manchester United after a week of Rooney melodrama. Wonder if this rumored transfer war chest that the Glazers are offering Sir Alex is real? United need a new keeper, naturally, and probably a serviceable backup central defender. More than that, the club might need another game-changing, dynamic player to take the pressure of Rooney. Chicharito is a fun player to watch, but he's not that. He's a finisher, a very good one, but not a guy that can take over a match. Nor is that mysterious chap, Own Goal.
If United fans have a reason for optimism Monday, it's that Patrice Evra looked like the quality left back that he was from 2007-2010, not the mutinous, sullen, jerk he was for France over the summer.
Fenway Franks:
It's impossible to guess what was coursing through the minds of the Anfield faithful moments before kickoff Sunday. The new American owners had apparently offered the olive branch to the Kop in the form of Gerry, yes, the Gerry from Gerry and the Pacemakers to sing, "You'll Never Walk Alone." (Cool video on the history of how "YNWA" became the iconic song it is today.)
Though it's not the most pressing issue, hopefully the new NESV owners realized that Liverpool and Anfield are intertwined and tied-at-the-hip like the Red Sox are at Fenway Park. Sure a new stadium would mean more money, more seats, but it wouldn't be the same. This is the area where Liverpool fans should be happy about John Henry, Werner, et al. They haven't come to Merseyside with big talks and rattling the saber about a new stadium as the ticket to the glory days. If you have to sell some pink Liverpool caps, or more appropriately, pink scarves, so be it.
However, "Sweet Caroline" at halftime, well, that would be war.
Tom Werner, part of the new ownership group, even sang along ... smirking, not sure if he was doing the right thing. I'll appluad him for his honest reaction.
But hey, who cares about songs? Liverpool managed a result against Blackburn, grinding for 90 minutes for a 2-1 win. It left Los Reds still in the relegation zone, but even on nine points with Fulham -- what happened? -- and the visiting Rovers.
It might have been a little easier for Liverpool, but Paul Robinson apparently cured himself of the "English Goal-keeping Disease" and made a bevvy of great stops in the first half.
The worry for Liverpool is that it has to fight tooth and nail, turning every 90 minutes into a life or death affair. Nothing seems to come easy for the Reds at this point. The days of sitting back and waiting for Fernando Torres to do something amazing and coasting to three points seem a long time ago.
To contrast with City to use a "FIFA" analogy, if you look at the XI Roy Hodgson puts out there, it would be fun to use in a 4-2-3-1. Of course, Joe Cole hasn't been right since the start of the season and Maxi Rodriguez hasn't had a memorable moment since signing from Atletico Madrid in January. Maybe the Lucas Rual Meireles combo is one to go forward with.
The worry is in the defense. Jamie Carragher had another own goal. He's 32 years old and looking every bit of it, especially when pressed to play an outside role. Good thing he resigned with the club.
Cech It Out!:
Chelsea played the ultimate big brother/little brother game with Wolves, beating them 2-0 Saturday. The Blues didn't do much, but kept the hard-working, organized and determined visitors at arm's length without breaking much of a sweat.
Wolves are shaping up as the Buffalo Bills of the Prem. They try hard and give an effort, but don't have enough talent to overcome the two moments of Chelsea brilliance inside the box and walk away in the relegation zone. Mick McCarthy's team was actually quite impressive, notably shutting down Chelsea's space in transition. Marcus Hahnemann -- sporting a salt-and-pepper goatee that made him look like a generic cable TV villain -- came off his line to stone Didier Drogba before the Ivorian had time for he play to develop.
For a change, Chelsea needed a vintage, 2005-era performance from Peter Cech in goal as the big Czech was pressed into service time-after-time with the John Terry/Branislav Ivanovic central defensive pairing allowing Wolves plenty of chances. The irony here, was that Cech's vintage performance came against a team with Stephen Hunt in the lineup. As you'll no doubt remember the wild-haired Irishman crashed into Cech's head, fracturing his skull and ushering in a new wave of Rugby helmet fashion in West London.
Cech might never have been the same since that injury, but Chelsea -- which seems to have everything else on the field you could want -- quieted any whispers that it's one weakness is found in net.
What to do with West Brom?:
Is West Brom actually good?
Even manager Roberto di Matteo doesn't know himself:
Either way, it's fun to say, "Youssouf Mulumbu."
Other stuff:
Richard Dunne set the all-time Premier League-era mark for most own goals, giving Sunderland a 1-0 win in a instantly forgettable match at the Stadium of Light. Aston Villa did lost captain Stylian Petrov for two months. Looks like Stephen Ireland might need to wake up and realize the 2010 season has started, since he figures to play a more prominent role. ... Fulham's "Sigmund and the Seamonster" inspired third uniforms won't make anyone forget about Tottenham's ill-fated brown stain kits from a few years ago, will they? ... Slade's version of "Cum on Feel the Noize" at halftime at Anfield? Ok. ... Tottenham's 1-1 draw at White Hart Lane was a fun first half, a dull second half which actually put me back to sleep. Not a lot to say here, even with the amount of players on both sides I enjoy watching. Tim Howard's drop that gifted Rafael van der Vaart was discouraging, as was Ian Darke trying to make excuses for the American. Most interesting takeaway was Gareth Bale ending the game -- I think -- on the right side. Seems like English defenders might be figuring out the Welshman, or at least bracketing him with two defenders. ... Oh and Benoit Assou-Ekotto's hair looks like something straight out of "Fraggle Rock." ... On that note, best ponytail in the Premier League: Andy Caroll, Kenwyne Jones or Sotirios Kyrgiakos? ... Nice game from young Master Carroll, in light of his court-ordered house arrest that forced him to live with teammate Kevin Nolan. Naturally, the two hooked up on both goals in the Magpies 2-1 win at Upton Park over West Ham. It's flatly depressing to watch games at Upton Park these days, especially at night. Seems really dark and dank, about fitting for the team on the field that might have too many holes in defense -- Mathew Upson limped off -- to stay up in the top flight. It could get ugly pretty quick, which is right in line with David Sullivan's George Costanza-inspired Russian hat.
Fantasy Team O' the Week:
kekacakan_1, who's team name is ... kekacakan_1 takes top spot with 68 points, mainly thanks to 28 points from captain Samir Nasri. Ben Foster added seven savvy points, too.
One other thing:
Nigel de Jong needs to be stopped. (Clearing my throat for my best Judge Smails impression) ... "The man's a menace!"
What's surprising, how has he avoided the retaliation of any other players in England? The English FA let him get away with breaking Hatem Ben Arfa's leg, so why wouldn't some team retaliate. I'm all for hard, physical play, but de Jong is developing a dirty player rap right up there with head-hunting Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker James Harrison.
I'm not the world's biggest hockey fan, but if de Jong did what he did, an NHL enforcer would certainly have taken him out by now, right?
It's worth point out, City play Wolves this weekend, a team with a hard-tackling rep. I don't think any managers in the world would mind if Mick McCarthy instructed his players to go hard at the Dutch City midfielder. Guess we ought to give the English sporting mentality some credit, since the other 19 clubs in the Premier League are taking the high road with de Jong's cynical tactics.
(*) Hey, I'm having a Guitar Hero party. You're all invited. We can talk about what lies ahead for President Obama or last Monday's episode of "Heroes."
It left the table looking a little more static, as well. Chelsea on 22 are the front-runners and favorites until further notice. Arsenal, United and Manchester City are all chasing at 17, with Tottenham lurking on 15.
Without any further adieu (or dated pop culture references), my takes on the weekend in capsule form for added riboflavin.
Up the Arse-nal:
You don't need me to tell you that Dedryk
It was, however, another curious mental mistake from City which ended up costing the team. Previously, it was the Carlos Tevez missed sitter coupled with a last-minute penalty by Darren Bent vs. Sunderland, while a communication mix-up between Kolo Toure and Joe Hart cost Citeh vs. Blackburn.
In a sense, this team could be neck-and-neck with Chelsea, but it doesn't seem to have the sharpness -- yet -- of a championship caliber team. If Tevez, who limped off early in the second half, is hurt for an extended period Roberto Mancini will have to change things up.
Down a goal early thanks to the nifty one-two passing of Andrey Arshavin and Samir Nasri, City didn't have a way back. For City to make that next level leap of ascension, somebody from the group of David Silva, James Milner, Adam Johnson or even Mario Balotelli as he gets healthy needs to help take the pressure off Tevez every week in the Premier League.
Put it this way, in "FIFA 11" Manchester City's default formation has Yaya Toure as an attacking midfielder in a 4-2-3-1. Yeah, it's only a video game, but City might be the least exciting elite-level team in a while.
As for Arsenal, nice result, nay great result. The Gunners, with Cesc Fabregas back in action and recklessly laying his body on the line, got the job down without needing to break much of a sweat as City ran out of gas. Arsenal weren't even made to paid for passing the ball roughly 67 times in a movement before registering a shot, as Alex Song finally made it 2-0 late in the game.
There are a couple developments with Arsenal to track. First, Lukasz Fabianski -- horrendous mistake in last year's Champions League notwithstanding -- has done enough to merit the No. 1 keeper job ahead of Manuel Almunia. The young Pole made an excellent reaction save to stone Emmanuel Adebayor with the game still 1-0. Maybe he's not the greatest keeper ever and perhaps it won't quiet down the pining for a top-class player to grace the No. 1 shirt at the Emirates, but he's not Almunia and that's enough. There are simply too many bad vibes associated with the Ghost-chasing Spaniard at this point.
A little murkier, or at least a problem most coaches would like to have is what is Arsene Wenger going to do when Robin van Persie gets healthy? Are there enough minutes and places to effectively take advantage of Arshavin, Nasri, Maroune Chamakh, Theo Walcott, Tomas Rosicky, Nic Bendtner (scoring late in his return as a sub) and van Persie. Granted this is a good problem to have and considering the fragility of some of these players, chances are they all won't be healthy at once.
Nasri, though, might be the Gunners most influential offensive player behind Fabregas. The squad hasn't missed a beat with him filling in for Walcott.
If there's a verdict here, both teams will push Chelsea for the title. City are going to be harder for average teams to break down defensively, chalking up a lot of 1-0s in the process. Arsenal, on the other hand, give you chances but when the Gunners are one their game you're going to have trouble keeping them off the scoreboard.
Pea Party:
It was going to be deja vu all over again for Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United. We were about four minutes from the 2010-11 Red Devils calling card: blowing a lead in the second half, this time at Stoke City.
The culprit this time was going to be a guy who earlier this month had another falling out with his coach and looks like he bought his long, stringy mane from deceased singer Kevin DuBrow from the 1980s metal outfit, Quiet Riot.
How many Manchester United fans broke their remotes when Tuncay scored that pretty sweet individual goal in the 81st? Be honest.
Yet, for a change this season, United showed signs of life and pulled it back thanks to everyone's favorite Mexican, no not George Lopez (very funny) ... Chicharito, you dummies.
After scoring a goal with the back of his head(*) in the first half, the Little Pea rode to the rescue. The second was less spectacular, a simple tap-in in front of the net. It was enough to send the United supporters into rapture, including one over-zealous fan who ran onto the pitch at the Britianna, slipped onto his ass, got up and hugged the young Mexican forward. As I demanded on Twitter, we need an animated GIF-file of this epic soccer falldown fail.
(*) Back of his head, off his face in the Community Shield? My guess is his next trick will be nudging a ball over the goal line with his posterior.
The flopping fan was a much-needed moment of levity for Manchester United after a week of Rooney melodrama. Wonder if this rumored transfer war chest that the Glazers are offering Sir Alex is real? United need a new keeper, naturally, and probably a serviceable backup central defender. More than that, the club might need another game-changing, dynamic player to take the pressure of Rooney. Chicharito is a fun player to watch, but he's not that. He's a finisher, a very good one, but not a guy that can take over a match. Nor is that mysterious chap, Own Goal.
If United fans have a reason for optimism Monday, it's that Patrice Evra looked like the quality left back that he was from 2007-2010, not the mutinous, sullen, jerk he was for France over the summer.
Fenway Franks:
It's impossible to guess what was coursing through the minds of the Anfield faithful moments before kickoff Sunday. The new American owners had apparently offered the olive branch to the Kop in the form of Gerry, yes, the Gerry from Gerry and the Pacemakers to sing, "You'll Never Walk Alone." (Cool video on the history of how "YNWA" became the iconic song it is today.)
Though it's not the most pressing issue, hopefully the new NESV owners realized that Liverpool and Anfield are intertwined and tied-at-the-hip like the Red Sox are at Fenway Park. Sure a new stadium would mean more money, more seats, but it wouldn't be the same. This is the area where Liverpool fans should be happy about John Henry, Werner, et al. They haven't come to Merseyside with big talks and rattling the saber about a new stadium as the ticket to the glory days. If you have to sell some pink Liverpool caps, or more appropriately, pink scarves, so be it.
However, "Sweet Caroline" at halftime, well, that would be war.
Tom Werner, part of the new ownership group, even sang along ... smirking, not sure if he was doing the right thing. I'll appluad him for his honest reaction.
But hey, who cares about songs? Liverpool managed a result against Blackburn, grinding for 90 minutes for a 2-1 win. It left Los Reds still in the relegation zone, but even on nine points with Fulham -- what happened? -- and the visiting Rovers.
It might have been a little easier for Liverpool, but Paul Robinson apparently cured himself of the "English Goal-keeping Disease" and made a bevvy of great stops in the first half.
The worry for Liverpool is that it has to fight tooth and nail, turning every 90 minutes into a life or death affair. Nothing seems to come easy for the Reds at this point. The days of sitting back and waiting for Fernando Torres to do something amazing and coasting to three points seem a long time ago.
To contrast with City to use a "FIFA" analogy, if you look at the XI Roy Hodgson puts out there, it would be fun to use in a 4-2-3-1. Of course, Joe Cole hasn't been right since the start of the season and Maxi Rodriguez hasn't had a memorable moment since signing from Atletico Madrid in January. Maybe the Lucas Rual Meireles combo is one to go forward with.
The worry is in the defense. Jamie Carragher had another own goal. He's 32 years old and looking every bit of it, especially when pressed to play an outside role. Good thing he resigned with the club.
Cech It Out!:
Chelsea played the ultimate big brother/little brother game with Wolves, beating them 2-0 Saturday. The Blues didn't do much, but kept the hard-working, organized and determined visitors at arm's length without breaking much of a sweat.
Wolves are shaping up as the Buffalo Bills of the Prem. They try hard and give an effort, but don't have enough talent to overcome the two moments of Chelsea brilliance inside the box and walk away in the relegation zone. Mick McCarthy's team was actually quite impressive, notably shutting down Chelsea's space in transition. Marcus Hahnemann -- sporting a salt-and-pepper goatee that made him look like a generic cable TV villain -- came off his line to stone Didier Drogba before the Ivorian had time for he play to develop.
For a change, Chelsea needed a vintage, 2005-era performance from Peter Cech in goal as the big Czech was pressed into service time-after-time with the John Terry/Branislav Ivanovic central defensive pairing allowing Wolves plenty of chances. The irony here, was that Cech's vintage performance came against a team with Stephen Hunt in the lineup. As you'll no doubt remember the wild-haired Irishman crashed into Cech's head, fracturing his skull and ushering in a new wave of Rugby helmet fashion in West London.
Cech might never have been the same since that injury, but Chelsea -- which seems to have everything else on the field you could want -- quieted any whispers that it's one weakness is found in net.
What to do with West Brom?:
Is West Brom actually good?
Even manager Roberto di Matteo doesn't know himself:
"Results so far have been beyond our expectations, but the way the team is performing we deserve the points we have," Roberto Di Matteo said. "I have absolutely no idea how long we can keep it up, but I still think we can improve. Our plan is to carry on trying to do that, and see where we end up at the end of the season."The last few years have yielded promoted teams who've taken the league by storm, think Reading in 2006-07 or Birmingham City last year. Why couldn't West Brom do it this year and finish in the 7-10 range? The Baggies have beaten Arsenal and drawn Manchester United, so they must have some quality led by the unassuming Chris Brunt.
Either way, it's fun to say, "Youssouf Mulumbu."
Other stuff:
Richard Dunne set the all-time Premier League-era mark for most own goals, giving Sunderland a 1-0 win in a instantly forgettable match at the Stadium of Light. Aston Villa did lost captain Stylian Petrov for two months. Looks like Stephen Ireland might need to wake up and realize the 2010 season has started, since he figures to play a more prominent role. ... Fulham's "Sigmund and the Seamonster" inspired third uniforms won't make anyone forget about Tottenham's ill-fated brown stain kits from a few years ago, will they? ... Slade's version of "Cum on Feel the Noize" at halftime at Anfield? Ok. ... Tottenham's 1-1 draw at White Hart Lane was a fun first half, a dull second half which actually put me back to sleep. Not a lot to say here, even with the amount of players on both sides I enjoy watching. Tim Howard's drop that gifted Rafael van der Vaart was discouraging, as was Ian Darke trying to make excuses for the American. Most interesting takeaway was Gareth Bale ending the game -- I think -- on the right side. Seems like English defenders might be figuring out the Welshman, or at least bracketing him with two defenders. ... Oh and Benoit Assou-Ekotto's hair looks like something straight out of "Fraggle Rock." ... On that note, best ponytail in the Premier League: Andy Caroll, Kenwyne Jones or Sotirios Kyrgiakos? ... Nice game from young Master Carroll, in light of his court-ordered house arrest that forced him to live with teammate Kevin Nolan. Naturally, the two hooked up on both goals in the Magpies 2-1 win at Upton Park over West Ham. It's flatly depressing to watch games at Upton Park these days, especially at night. Seems really dark and dank, about fitting for the team on the field that might have too many holes in defense -- Mathew Upson limped off -- to stay up in the top flight. It could get ugly pretty quick, which is right in line with David Sullivan's George Costanza-inspired Russian hat.
Fantasy Team O' the Week:
kekacakan_1, who's team name is ... kekacakan_1 takes top spot with 68 points, mainly thanks to 28 points from captain Samir Nasri. Ben Foster added seven savvy points, too.
One other thing:
Nigel de Jong needs to be stopped. (Clearing my throat for my best Judge Smails impression) ... "The man's a menace!"
What's surprising, how has he avoided the retaliation of any other players in England? The English FA let him get away with breaking Hatem Ben Arfa's leg, so why wouldn't some team retaliate. I'm all for hard, physical play, but de Jong is developing a dirty player rap right up there with head-hunting Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker James Harrison.
I'm not the world's biggest hockey fan, but if de Jong did what he did, an NHL enforcer would certainly have taken him out by now, right?
It's worth point out, City play Wolves this weekend, a team with a hard-tackling rep. I don't think any managers in the world would mind if Mick McCarthy instructed his players to go hard at the Dutch City midfielder. Guess we ought to give the English sporting mentality some credit, since the other 19 clubs in the Premier League are taking the high road with de Jong's cynical tactics.
Labels: Arsenal, Chelsea, English Premier League, EPL, manchester United, Monday recaps, Soccer
Let's cut right to the chase: has the 2010-11 Premier League season -- RooBron madness this week notwithstanding -- been boring?
Or more specifically, has the increased NFL-styled parity made the league more balanced but less exciting?
Perhaps nothing outlines the League better though eight matches than the rousing starts of West Brom and Blackpool, who we all just assumed would be relegation chattel. Both clubs have already won three matches, which has already seemed to exceed expectations, while doing slightly better than the more Premier League-ready promoted Newcastle United. Three-point ATMs, these clubs have yet to become.
And this, if anything, is why the table looks like it does. Right now it's hard to identify a dead team walking or a club so woefully inept and unready for the top flight that it skews the rest of the league.
Current bottom dweller West Ham hasn't been good, but with Avram Grant on the sideline there's at least an excuse to have confidence in the Irons. Wolves, in 18th, have the chance to fall apart if the rest of the League continues to criticize their assumed dirty style of play.
Oh right, and even the most ardent Evertonian probably would concede Liverpool won't finish the year in 19th, right? ... Right?
Last week in this space I wrote about how, during games themselves, soccer managers don't have all that much they can do to change or influence the match. You won't see, like you do in the NFL, guys like Herm Edwards and Brad Childress directly cost their team games for their inability to manage the clock. Or about 80 percent of the clipboard carriers in the NBA who's job is to basically fill out a suit and not upset the franchise's star player.
In fact, there's a whole cottage industry of smug, second-guessing pundits in America who butter their bread shooting these inept NFL coaches in the proverbial barrel. It's too easy. Wade Phillips is a walking disaster, and so it seems have the 32 teams in the NFL have an easily replaceable, incompetent, headset-wearing dope patrolling their sidelines calling the shots. Want "cheap heat" as an American media pundit? Second-guess and flambe an NFL coach.
This used to be the case in the Premier League, too, except substitute the headset and slacks for an unflattering tracksuit. Over the last three or four seasons, look at some of the incompetents Premier League chairmen have hired to steward their clubs: Joe Kinnear, Juande Ramos, Gianfranco Zola, Paul Ince, Lawrie Sanchez, Phil Brown, Gareth Southgate, Phil Scolari, Gary Megson, Sammy Lee, Glenn Roeder, Roy Keane and last but not least the unofficial chairman of this list, Sven-Goran Eriksson.
You could quibble with some of those names, but their time as a Premier League manager was spotty at best.
Right now, how many incompetent mangers are their in the Premier League? Possibly just one, with the jury out on another two. Mostly, though, the 20 middle aged men pacing the touchlines of the English top flight seem to have a pretty good idea what they're doing.
Let's check it out.
The Azzuro Standard:
For my money, right now the top manager in England is Carlo Ancelotti. The pudgy Italian keeps the Chelsea machine rolling and, unfortunately me for, keeps the comedy potential at a minimum. Ancelotti goes about his business, knows how we wants his squad to play and keeps the distractions at the minimum. The only knock is I'm half surprised the cameras haven't caught him dozing off on the sideline after a big lunch, during the second half of a Chelsea rout.
The Torch Bearers:
With multi-decades at the helms of two of the world's biggest clubs, Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger are the exception to the rule ... and an "oil and water," "Rizzoli & Isles"(*) type odd couple.
(*) Sorry, TNT is one of the channels on the overhead TVs at my gym, so I've seen the promos about 100 times. One of the detectives is a "fashionista" the other is a "tomboy." You fill in the blanks here.
Naturally I poke plenty of fun at Wenger, but it's clear the Frenchman knows what he's doing ... well ... until we start talking goalkeepers. No trophies in the last five-odd seasons, yes, but he's got the Gunners safely in the top four despite his stubborn resolve against splurging in the transfer market.
Even with the recent RooBron situation, Sir Alex Ferguson's place in English football is hard to find fault with, even it appears he might be losing his fastball with the steady exodus of top flight attacking talent out of Old Trafford. You do have to wonder, did SAF miss a chance to go out on top in 2009, with three-straight Premier League crowns. Now, it's looking like his coda might be even meeker than "In Through the Out Door."
And as if on cue, like the triumphant "Page & Plant" tour from the mid-1990s, here are RooBron and Sir Alex smiling like a couple of old chums Friday morning after the Boy signed a new five-year deal worth about $250,000 per week, which translates to about $13.5 million per year and about $75 million total. (Hate this per-week stuff, is it to distract lazy fans who hate math into how much the contract is worth overall?)
Import Class:
Across Manchester, Roberto Mancini obviously knows how to manage a club, even if his natural inclination is for boring, defense-first soccer. Will he be able to crack the whip and get City past Chelsea in the League or take them to the top of European football? The one major weakness for Mancini is it seems he's gotten into a fair share of personality clashes, notably Robinho, Craig Bellamy, Emmanuel Adebayor and even Carlos Tevez.
The other question for Mancini, when you build a team like City, heaping money on players and making them rich in the process, how do you motivate them to succeed? By taking away their booze privileges, naturally. The temperance movement is alive and well and living in Eastlands. Someone alert Margret Schroder.
Trader 'Arry(*):
People like to criticize Harry Redknapp like its going out of style, but the results speak for themselves. He won an FA Cup with Portsmouth, even if it nearly bankrupted the club. Now he has Spurs in the Champions League. He must be doing something right, even if his choices are easily second-guessable.
(*) If you've ever shopped at Trader Joes, you'll understand this. Wouldn't Trader 'Arry be a perfect name for the store if it sold frozen fish-and-chips or kidney pies, a la Trader Giotti and Trader Ming? Okay, even bourgeoisie grocery store references for one post.
The Toyota Camry Division:
The Camry is the Camry. Is it the nicest car in the world? No, but it gets the job done. Much like these managers.
David Moyes, Sam Allardyce and Mark Hughes are all in the same boat. They get by on middling budgets, getting the most out of players. Of the three, Allardyce -- he of the stupid headset and bold declarations -- is the most mock-worthy, but he does have a "Soup Kitchen" Blackburn side safely in the middle of the table. These three all are proven winners in the Premier League. They won't win the League for your club, but they won't get your club relegated either.
Of this trio, the biggest question mark actually might be Moyes, who's been with Everton since 2002. Maybe he's settled into his class ceiling, guiding a team on a shoestring budget to mid-table safety. In his once chance to make a difference in 2005, Everton crashed out before the Champions League Group Stages.
Toyota Tercel Tier:
On a slightly lower tier are Alex McLeish and Steve Bruce. Both made a lot of savvy-looking moves in the transfer markets, (Hleb, Gyan, etc.) trying to solidify Birmingham City and Sunderland. McLeish seems like the better tactician of the two. Neither the greatest tactically, nor inspire lock-solid confidence, but you could do a lot worse.
Stoke City's Tony Pulis is almost a merge of the two, turning the Potters into a solid team with an identity, though it's not like people are rushing out to buy Robert Huth replica shirts.
Forward thinkers? Tier:
Until this season, it seemed like most lower hung Premier League teams were happy to go on the road or play against the Big Boys and hope to lose 1-0. These next three are trying to buck those conventions.
Owen Coyle, Ian Holloway and Roberto di Matteo all seem cut from the same cloth, with an offense-first approach that has injected life into the Prem. Perhaps Holloway and di Matteo are in the honeymoon stage of management life, but they're off to a good start.
Coyle started this trend with Burnley last year, taking the minnows and playing pretty well until he jumped ship for Bolton, which he's transformed into a tolerable team to watch.
The unifying threat is these three prefer, fast, skilled teams who like to play it on the ground and put opponents on the backheel on the counter. It's a strategy that worked in other European leagues, but seemed to be phased out in the Prem for the ever-so-lovely "10-man Behind the Ball" scenario.
Hey, he looks good in a suit tier:
Avram Grant, Roberto Martinez and Mick McCarthy are all close to being filed in the re-tread collection. They've all been effective, seem to have a plan, but could easily be replaced.
Grant hasn't put much of a stamp on West Ham, after performing miracles at Portsmouth last year. He's well-traveled (nine different managerial posts) for a reason.
Martinez is in an unenviable spot, managing Wigan a team nobody wants to play for and that nobody cares about. In a way he's got the most freedom in the League since Wigan owner David Whelan is committed to the Spaniard.
We'll see on McCarthy, perhaps his methods -- which won Wolves promotion -- are leveling out in a second season in the Prem.
Wait-and-see tier:
The jury is still out of Newcastle's Chris Hughton, who might be proven to be in over his head.
Gerard Houllier has barely gotten his feet wet at Aston Villa, so I'll reserve judgment. He did win a couple Cups with Liverpool and some Ligue 1 titles at Lyon, but I'm not completely sold.
Disaster divison:
So, what's that? Nineteen of the 20 managers?
It means, right now, as of Oct. 22, 2010 the only truly, hapless, incompetent, scorn-worthy manager in the Premier League is .... (drumroll) ... Roy Hodgson, who has to take the brunt of the blame for Liverpool's apocalyptic start.
From failing to find a formation, to allegedly falling out with Fernando Torres and Pepe Reina, from the complete ineptitude, Hodgson has been a disaster on Merseyside.
Since his assaults on Hodgson via Twitter are out-and-out hilarious, I dialed up Nate from "Oh You Beauty" for his take on the man Fulham fans affectionately called, "Uncle Roy."
RooBron Closure:
Money talks.
Can you imagine if the Wayne Rooney played out in the U.S.? Is there a comparable other than LeBron James? Maybe if Michael Jordan wanted to force an exit from the Chicago Bulls to play for the Lakers or Knicks at the peak of his powers.
This one, it's pretty clear, was all posturing by Rooney's handlers, namely agent Paul Stretford.
It's not about United's ability to win, and Rooney not wanting to stick around Old Trafford as it (possibly) morphs into the Dino Radja-era Boston Garden/Fleet Center; the Quincy Carter-era Texas Stadium or the Horace Clark-era Yankee Stadium.
In the end, naturally, this was all about RooBron getting paid. Why else would this have happened in the middle of a season -- Rooney's worst as a pro -- and so publicly? It all seems calculated from the Maverick Carter LMR Marketing playbook. (See: Angry fans burning RooBron in effigy.)
I'll stand by my theory during the week that Rooney's career might already be hitting a downturn, thus he (or his handlers) floated all these stories this week to make United sweat and offer him a new mega-money contract before the current deal expires in 2012, while he's still considered a "superstar." Floating the name Manchester City simply made United panic and do whatever it could to save face publicly, since nothing would both damage the mythology of United and give City the credibility it so desperately wants like Rooney moving across the way to Eastlands.
All the posturing turned what should be a financial/sporting move, i.e. evaluating the future of Rooney, into an emotion one, where David Gill, the Glazer and even Sir Alex, couldn't afford to let Rooney go.
Rooney needed to do all this before the whispers about his seven-month (and counting) dip in form grow into a chorus. Don't misunderstand me, Rooney still has the chance to be great, but his days of contending for the Ballon d'Or just might be over. It happens.
So Rooney gets what he wants, a nice five-year contract that sets him up for life regardless of his form or future injuries. (Here is where you make a, those prostitutes can get pretty expensive joke.) United get to keep the face of the club and tell other teams that Manchester United is still Manchester United.
In shorthand, much a-Roo about nothing.
Round 9 Picks:
Odd slate of games, with the two best matches book-ending the weekend.
Saturday:
* Tottenham v. Everton -- (Live, ESPN2, 7:45 a.m.) Gotta love European soccer. Gareth Bale stars for Spurs in a 4-3 loss to Inter and immediately his future is called into question. Aren't Spurs a big club? Arguably a team in the Top 20 in the world? Unless he follows the path of LeBron Rooney, why would Spurs even contemplate selling him? (Okay, for silly money, yes Redknapp would listen.)
At least this should be a fun game, worth getting up early on Saturday on ESPN, featuring two U.S.-friendly clubs. Wonder if Ian Darke will address "Distribution Brilliant" Howard's claims how the Toffees would love to welcome back Landon Donovan.
Though the club is a rollercoaster, let's hand it to Tottenham for a second. Despite a baker's dozen of different central defense pairings this year, Spurs have one more win than Manchester United and an identical record (4-2-2) as Arsenal. Chalk it up to the fun-to-watch stylings of Bale and Rafael van der Vaart.
Everton are back on track. It's not the most exciting stuff in the world, but Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta scoring vs. Liverpool probably put Toffee fans over the moon. I'd be more excited by the balance Seamus Coleman gives on the right, to match the width of Leighton Baines on the left. Still, don't think this team wins on the road consistently. ... Tottenham 2, Everton 0
* West Brom v. Fulham -- Both teams likes to score late, but West Brom is good at home and Fulham is miserable on the road ... have we ever figured out why this is so? ... West Brom 1, Fulham 1
* Sunderland v. Aston Villa -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) So yeah, I was bullish on Sunderland signing Asamoah Gyan, events in Rustenberg notwithstanding. The Ghanaian hasn't helped much, scoring just once. In fact Sunderland is 1-6-1 with only Darren Bent finding the scoresheet.
Still don't have a read on Villa. Sure the team looked solid enough holding Chelsea to a 0-0 draw last week, but what's this team's identity? Will Houllier just make them boring, but solid? ... Sunderland 2, Aston Villa 1
* Birmingham City v. Blackpool -- I really thought Birmingham was ready to take off, then they fell apart in the second half at West Brom. Guess karma doesn't like Lee Bowyer yelling at a grandmother in the stands. Funny how things work like that, huh? This is a game against Blackpool, the team now probably needs to win to stop the freefall.
If you haven't seen it yet, here's Ian Holloway's long-ranging, contradictory rant about the Rooney situation. Does he make a point? Well, that's beside the point itself. "WHO IS THAT?!? ... sort your life out." Fantastic. Jim Mora and Mike Singletary would approve, even if it didn't make much sense. ... Birmingham City 2, Blackpool 1
* Wigan Athletic v. Bolton -- You know you have a EPL Problem when you sit down to watch this one start to finish. Sorry Stu. ... Wigan 1, Bolton 1
* Chelsea v. Wolves -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) About the only thing to say here is if Chelsea reverts back to its August/September shit-stomping ways, where it crushes teams like Wolves by four or five goals. The buzzword for Chelsea under Ancelotti is professionalism. Expect a professional performance here. ... Chelsea 3, Wolves 0
* West Ham United v. Newcastle United -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Kind of an important relegation game, early in the calendar. West Ham are going to flirt with the bottom three all year simply because what is the team's calling card? What can they fall back on? Or who is going to pick this team up by the scruff and pull them to safety? The same things may apply to Newcastle, as that 6-0 thrashing of Villa seems like a long time ago. ... West Ham 1, Newcastle 1
Sunday:
* Stoke City v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Wonder if Stoke have it in them to really put United and SAF in crisis mode? The Potters, Delap-bombs aside, don't seem dynamic enough to trouble United even in this weakened state, though you have to think its for matches like these that Pulis brought in Kenwyne Jones.
United? Hard to believe that Nani, who seemed on the way out not too long ago, is now maybe the most important offensive player along with Dimitar Berbatov. Wonder if Ferguson would consider breaking away from his standard 4-4-2 alignment, just to see if something new would inject some life in the team.
Of course there's the chance that Rooney basically throwing the entire team under the bus galvanizes the squad and it gives them a rallying cry. Unfortunately, that's more likely to be found in the American sporting ethos, whether real or the stuff of cliched sports movies. Anyway, Rooney is back so it's time to sing Kumbaya around the Stretford end.
As it is, this team doesn't seem to have an alpha dog (unless Rooney regains his form), with Giggs and Scholes being too old for that kind of week-in, week-out work. Sir Alex is going to kick himself he couldn't find a way to bring in Ozil or van der Vaart (how did Redknapp steal him from Real?) for a long time, even with the Boy Wonder back in the fold. ... Stoke City 1, Manchester United 2
* Liverpool v. Blackburn -- Now that Liverpool fans don't have Hicks and Gillett to kick around, guess it's on to Hodgson ... who, let's face it, is a lot less fun to burn in effigy. Hicks, yeah, it makes sense a pigheaded, ugly American, who doesn't want to beat that pinata? Hodgson? It's like a dottering old Pep Pep. ... Liverpool 1, Blackburn 0
* Manchester City v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Well, we have to wait until the last game of the weekend for a truly juicy match up and this is that.
Wenger will probably look wise holding back Cesc Fabregas until this match, since the Spanish wunderkind will be needed against the wall of City midfielders.
This might be more of a litmus test for City and it's sometimes suspect defense, as Arsenal's attack presents a multitude of problems. Assuming Fabregas plays, and pings the ball around the field, City has to cope with the physical (flopping) presence of Maroune Chamakh, as well as the tricky play of Andrey Arshavin and Samir Nasri on the wings, which opens it up for Fabregas to romp forward.
City, well, we kind of have a read on them. Tevez is the talisman, do-it-all forward. If the outside players of James Milner, David Silva or Adam Johnson show up and bring the goods, City is tough to cope with.
Hate to boil these down to cliches, but this might be about which team wants it more, since this game is crying out for a late winner. Arsenal did play well in a similar spot at Stamford Bridge, but couldn't finish its chances. For some reason, think the Gunners are due. ... City 1, Arsenal 2
Last round: 6-4
Season: 32-48
Or more specifically, has the increased NFL-styled parity made the league more balanced but less exciting?
Perhaps nothing outlines the League better though eight matches than the rousing starts of West Brom and Blackpool, who we all just assumed would be relegation chattel. Both clubs have already won three matches, which has already seemed to exceed expectations, while doing slightly better than the more Premier League-ready promoted Newcastle United. Three-point ATMs, these clubs have yet to become.
And this, if anything, is why the table looks like it does. Right now it's hard to identify a dead team walking or a club so woefully inept and unready for the top flight that it skews the rest of the league.
Current bottom dweller West Ham hasn't been good, but with Avram Grant on the sideline there's at least an excuse to have confidence in the Irons. Wolves, in 18th, have the chance to fall apart if the rest of the League continues to criticize their assumed dirty style of play.
Oh right, and even the most ardent Evertonian probably would concede Liverpool won't finish the year in 19th, right? ... Right?
Last week in this space I wrote about how, during games themselves, soccer managers don't have all that much they can do to change or influence the match. You won't see, like you do in the NFL, guys like Herm Edwards and Brad Childress directly cost their team games for their inability to manage the clock. Or about 80 percent of the clipboard carriers in the NBA who's job is to basically fill out a suit and not upset the franchise's star player.
In fact, there's a whole cottage industry of smug, second-guessing pundits in America who butter their bread shooting these inept NFL coaches in the proverbial barrel. It's too easy. Wade Phillips is a walking disaster, and so it seems have the 32 teams in the NFL have an easily replaceable, incompetent, headset-wearing dope patrolling their sidelines calling the shots. Want "cheap heat" as an American media pundit? Second-guess and flambe an NFL coach.
This used to be the case in the Premier League, too, except substitute the headset and slacks for an unflattering tracksuit. Over the last three or four seasons, look at some of the incompetents Premier League chairmen have hired to steward their clubs: Joe Kinnear, Juande Ramos, Gianfranco Zola, Paul Ince, Lawrie Sanchez, Phil Brown, Gareth Southgate, Phil Scolari, Gary Megson, Sammy Lee, Glenn Roeder, Roy Keane and last but not least the unofficial chairman of this list, Sven-Goran Eriksson.
You could quibble with some of those names, but their time as a Premier League manager was spotty at best.
Right now, how many incompetent mangers are their in the Premier League? Possibly just one, with the jury out on another two. Mostly, though, the 20 middle aged men pacing the touchlines of the English top flight seem to have a pretty good idea what they're doing.
Let's check it out.
The Azzuro Standard:
For my money, right now the top manager in England is Carlo Ancelotti. The pudgy Italian keeps the Chelsea machine rolling and, unfortunately me for, keeps the comedy potential at a minimum. Ancelotti goes about his business, knows how we wants his squad to play and keeps the distractions at the minimum. The only knock is I'm half surprised the cameras haven't caught him dozing off on the sideline after a big lunch, during the second half of a Chelsea rout.
The Torch Bearers:
With multi-decades at the helms of two of the world's biggest clubs, Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger are the exception to the rule ... and an "oil and water," "Rizzoli & Isles"(*) type odd couple.
(*) Sorry, TNT is one of the channels on the overhead TVs at my gym, so I've seen the promos about 100 times. One of the detectives is a "fashionista" the other is a "tomboy." You fill in the blanks here.
Naturally I poke plenty of fun at Wenger, but it's clear the Frenchman knows what he's doing ... well ... until we start talking goalkeepers. No trophies in the last five-odd seasons, yes, but he's got the Gunners safely in the top four despite his stubborn resolve against splurging in the transfer market.
Even with the recent RooBron situation, Sir Alex Ferguson's place in English football is hard to find fault with, even it appears he might be losing his fastball with the steady exodus of top flight attacking talent out of Old Trafford. You do have to wonder, did SAF miss a chance to go out on top in 2009, with three-straight Premier League crowns. Now, it's looking like his coda might be even meeker than "In Through the Out Door."
And as if on cue, like the triumphant "Page & Plant" tour from the mid-1990s, here are RooBron and Sir Alex smiling like a couple of old chums Friday morning after the Boy signed a new five-year deal worth about $250,000 per week, which translates to about $13.5 million per year and about $75 million total. (Hate this per-week stuff, is it to distract lazy fans who hate math into how much the contract is worth overall?)
Import Class:
Across Manchester, Roberto Mancini obviously knows how to manage a club, even if his natural inclination is for boring, defense-first soccer. Will he be able to crack the whip and get City past Chelsea in the League or take them to the top of European football? The one major weakness for Mancini is it seems he's gotten into a fair share of personality clashes, notably Robinho, Craig Bellamy, Emmanuel Adebayor and even Carlos Tevez.
The other question for Mancini, when you build a team like City, heaping money on players and making them rich in the process, how do you motivate them to succeed? By taking away their booze privileges, naturally. The temperance movement is alive and well and living in Eastlands. Someone alert Margret Schroder.
Trader 'Arry(*):
People like to criticize Harry Redknapp like its going out of style, but the results speak for themselves. He won an FA Cup with Portsmouth, even if it nearly bankrupted the club. Now he has Spurs in the Champions League. He must be doing something right, even if his choices are easily second-guessable.
(*) If you've ever shopped at Trader Joes, you'll understand this. Wouldn't Trader 'Arry be a perfect name for the store if it sold frozen fish-and-chips or kidney pies, a la Trader Giotti and Trader Ming? Okay, even bourgeoisie grocery store references for one post.
The Toyota Camry Division:
The Camry is the Camry. Is it the nicest car in the world? No, but it gets the job done. Much like these managers.
David Moyes, Sam Allardyce and Mark Hughes are all in the same boat. They get by on middling budgets, getting the most out of players. Of the three, Allardyce -- he of the stupid headset and bold declarations -- is the most mock-worthy, but he does have a "Soup Kitchen" Blackburn side safely in the middle of the table. These three all are proven winners in the Premier League. They won't win the League for your club, but they won't get your club relegated either.
Of this trio, the biggest question mark actually might be Moyes, who's been with Everton since 2002. Maybe he's settled into his class ceiling, guiding a team on a shoestring budget to mid-table safety. In his once chance to make a difference in 2005, Everton crashed out before the Champions League Group Stages.
Toyota Tercel Tier:
On a slightly lower tier are Alex McLeish and Steve Bruce. Both made a lot of savvy-looking moves in the transfer markets, (Hleb, Gyan, etc.) trying to solidify Birmingham City and Sunderland. McLeish seems like the better tactician of the two. Neither the greatest tactically, nor inspire lock-solid confidence, but you could do a lot worse.
Stoke City's Tony Pulis is almost a merge of the two, turning the Potters into a solid team with an identity, though it's not like people are rushing out to buy Robert Huth replica shirts.
Forward thinkers? Tier:
Until this season, it seemed like most lower hung Premier League teams were happy to go on the road or play against the Big Boys and hope to lose 1-0. These next three are trying to buck those conventions.
Owen Coyle, Ian Holloway and Roberto di Matteo all seem cut from the same cloth, with an offense-first approach that has injected life into the Prem. Perhaps Holloway and di Matteo are in the honeymoon stage of management life, but they're off to a good start.
Coyle started this trend with Burnley last year, taking the minnows and playing pretty well until he jumped ship for Bolton, which he's transformed into a tolerable team to watch.
The unifying threat is these three prefer, fast, skilled teams who like to play it on the ground and put opponents on the backheel on the counter. It's a strategy that worked in other European leagues, but seemed to be phased out in the Prem for the ever-so-lovely "10-man Behind the Ball" scenario.
Hey, he looks good in a suit tier:
Avram Grant, Roberto Martinez and Mick McCarthy are all close to being filed in the re-tread collection. They've all been effective, seem to have a plan, but could easily be replaced.
Grant hasn't put much of a stamp on West Ham, after performing miracles at Portsmouth last year. He's well-traveled (nine different managerial posts) for a reason.
Martinez is in an unenviable spot, managing Wigan a team nobody wants to play for and that nobody cares about. In a way he's got the most freedom in the League since Wigan owner David Whelan is committed to the Spaniard.
We'll see on McCarthy, perhaps his methods -- which won Wolves promotion -- are leveling out in a second season in the Prem.
Wait-and-see tier:
The jury is still out of Newcastle's Chris Hughton, who might be proven to be in over his head.
Gerard Houllier has barely gotten his feet wet at Aston Villa, so I'll reserve judgment. He did win a couple Cups with Liverpool and some Ligue 1 titles at Lyon, but I'm not completely sold.
Disaster divison:
So, what's that? Nineteen of the 20 managers?
It means, right now, as of Oct. 22, 2010 the only truly, hapless, incompetent, scorn-worthy manager in the Premier League is .... (drumroll) ... Roy Hodgson, who has to take the brunt of the blame for Liverpool's apocalyptic start.
From failing to find a formation, to allegedly falling out with Fernando Torres and Pepe Reina, from the complete ineptitude, Hodgson has been a disaster on Merseyside.
Since his assaults on Hodgson via Twitter are out-and-out hilarious, I dialed up Nate from "Oh You Beauty" for his take on the man Fulham fans affectionately called, "Uncle Roy."
"I can't decide what about Hodgson makes me angriest. The unchanging,Long story short, let's hope Leiscester City -- Sven's new employer -- gains promotion to the Premier League soon. It hard when these jokes don't write themselves.
prehistoric tactics that are completely unsuited to Liverpool's squad? His inability to understand the Liverpool fans, leading to post-match remarks like last Sunday's, where he called the second half of a 0-2 loss to Everton one of the best performances the team's had during his reign? His refusal to climb out of Alex Ferguson's rectum? Oh right, the results make me angriest. The fact that Liverpool currently, and deservedly, sits 19th after eight Premiership games, and that's only down to a lucky 1-0 win over West Brom. It may be disrespectful to a man who's by all accounts "nice," but every time I log onto the Internet, I hope to read he's been fired, preferably from a cannon. Unfortunately, not yet."
RooBron Closure:
Money talks.
Can you imagine if the Wayne Rooney played out in the U.S.? Is there a comparable other than LeBron James? Maybe if Michael Jordan wanted to force an exit from the Chicago Bulls to play for the Lakers or Knicks at the peak of his powers.
This one, it's pretty clear, was all posturing by Rooney's handlers, namely agent Paul Stretford.
It's not about United's ability to win, and Rooney not wanting to stick around Old Trafford as it (possibly) morphs into the Dino Radja-era Boston Garden/Fleet Center; the Quincy Carter-era Texas Stadium or the Horace Clark-era Yankee Stadium.
In the end, naturally, this was all about RooBron getting paid. Why else would this have happened in the middle of a season -- Rooney's worst as a pro -- and so publicly? It all seems calculated from the Maverick Carter LMR Marketing playbook. (See: Angry fans burning RooBron in effigy.)
I'll stand by my theory during the week that Rooney's career might already be hitting a downturn, thus he (or his handlers) floated all these stories this week to make United sweat and offer him a new mega-money contract before the current deal expires in 2012, while he's still considered a "superstar." Floating the name Manchester City simply made United panic and do whatever it could to save face publicly, since nothing would both damage the mythology of United and give City the credibility it so desperately wants like Rooney moving across the way to Eastlands.
All the posturing turned what should be a financial/sporting move, i.e. evaluating the future of Rooney, into an emotion one, where David Gill, the Glazer and even Sir Alex, couldn't afford to let Rooney go.
Rooney needed to do all this before the whispers about his seven-month (and counting) dip in form grow into a chorus. Don't misunderstand me, Rooney still has the chance to be great, but his days of contending for the Ballon d'Or just might be over. It happens.
So Rooney gets what he wants, a nice five-year contract that sets him up for life regardless of his form or future injuries. (Here is where you make a, those prostitutes can get pretty expensive joke.) United get to keep the face of the club and tell other teams that Manchester United is still Manchester United.
In shorthand, much a-Roo about nothing.
Round 9 Picks:
Odd slate of games, with the two best matches book-ending the weekend.
Saturday:
* Tottenham v. Everton -- (Live, ESPN2, 7:45 a.m.) Gotta love European soccer. Gareth Bale stars for Spurs in a 4-3 loss to Inter and immediately his future is called into question. Aren't Spurs a big club? Arguably a team in the Top 20 in the world? Unless he follows the path of LeBron Rooney, why would Spurs even contemplate selling him? (Okay, for silly money, yes Redknapp would listen.)
At least this should be a fun game, worth getting up early on Saturday on ESPN, featuring two U.S.-friendly clubs. Wonder if Ian Darke will address "Distribution Brilliant" Howard's claims how the Toffees would love to welcome back Landon Donovan.
Though the club is a rollercoaster, let's hand it to Tottenham for a second. Despite a baker's dozen of different central defense pairings this year, Spurs have one more win than Manchester United and an identical record (4-2-2) as Arsenal. Chalk it up to the fun-to-watch stylings of Bale and Rafael van der Vaart.
Everton are back on track. It's not the most exciting stuff in the world, but Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta scoring vs. Liverpool probably put Toffee fans over the moon. I'd be more excited by the balance Seamus Coleman gives on the right, to match the width of Leighton Baines on the left. Still, don't think this team wins on the road consistently. ... Tottenham 2, Everton 0
* West Brom v. Fulham -- Both teams likes to score late, but West Brom is good at home and Fulham is miserable on the road ... have we ever figured out why this is so? ... West Brom 1, Fulham 1
* Sunderland v. Aston Villa -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) So yeah, I was bullish on Sunderland signing Asamoah Gyan, events in Rustenberg notwithstanding. The Ghanaian hasn't helped much, scoring just once. In fact Sunderland is 1-6-1 with only Darren Bent finding the scoresheet.
Still don't have a read on Villa. Sure the team looked solid enough holding Chelsea to a 0-0 draw last week, but what's this team's identity? Will Houllier just make them boring, but solid? ... Sunderland 2, Aston Villa 1
* Birmingham City v. Blackpool -- I really thought Birmingham was ready to take off, then they fell apart in the second half at West Brom. Guess karma doesn't like Lee Bowyer yelling at a grandmother in the stands. Funny how things work like that, huh? This is a game against Blackpool, the team now probably needs to win to stop the freefall.
If you haven't seen it yet, here's Ian Holloway's long-ranging, contradictory rant about the Rooney situation. Does he make a point? Well, that's beside the point itself. "WHO IS THAT?!? ... sort your life out." Fantastic. Jim Mora and Mike Singletary would approve, even if it didn't make much sense. ... Birmingham City 2, Blackpool 1
* Wigan Athletic v. Bolton -- You know you have a EPL Problem when you sit down to watch this one start to finish. Sorry Stu. ... Wigan 1, Bolton 1
* Chelsea v. Wolves -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) About the only thing to say here is if Chelsea reverts back to its August/September shit-stomping ways, where it crushes teams like Wolves by four or five goals. The buzzword for Chelsea under Ancelotti is professionalism. Expect a professional performance here. ... Chelsea 3, Wolves 0
* West Ham United v. Newcastle United -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Kind of an important relegation game, early in the calendar. West Ham are going to flirt with the bottom three all year simply because what is the team's calling card? What can they fall back on? Or who is going to pick this team up by the scruff and pull them to safety? The same things may apply to Newcastle, as that 6-0 thrashing of Villa seems like a long time ago. ... West Ham 1, Newcastle 1
Sunday:
* Stoke City v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Wonder if Stoke have it in them to really put United and SAF in crisis mode? The Potters, Delap-bombs aside, don't seem dynamic enough to trouble United even in this weakened state, though you have to think its for matches like these that Pulis brought in Kenwyne Jones.
United? Hard to believe that Nani, who seemed on the way out not too long ago, is now maybe the most important offensive player along with Dimitar Berbatov. Wonder if Ferguson would consider breaking away from his standard 4-4-2 alignment, just to see if something new would inject some life in the team.
Of course there's the chance that Rooney basically throwing the entire team under the bus galvanizes the squad and it gives them a rallying cry. Unfortunately, that's more likely to be found in the American sporting ethos, whether real or the stuff of cliched sports movies. Anyway, Rooney is back so it's time to sing Kumbaya around the Stretford end.
As it is, this team doesn't seem to have an alpha dog (unless Rooney regains his form), with Giggs and Scholes being too old for that kind of week-in, week-out work. Sir Alex is going to kick himself he couldn't find a way to bring in Ozil or van der Vaart (how did Redknapp steal him from Real?) for a long time, even with the Boy Wonder back in the fold. ... Stoke City 1, Manchester United 2
* Liverpool v. Blackburn -- Now that Liverpool fans don't have Hicks and Gillett to kick around, guess it's on to Hodgson ... who, let's face it, is a lot less fun to burn in effigy. Hicks, yeah, it makes sense a pigheaded, ugly American, who doesn't want to beat that pinata? Hodgson? It's like a dottering old Pep Pep. ... Liverpool 1, Blackburn 0
* Manchester City v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Well, we have to wait until the last game of the weekend for a truly juicy match up and this is that.
Wenger will probably look wise holding back Cesc Fabregas until this match, since the Spanish wunderkind will be needed against the wall of City midfielders.
This might be more of a litmus test for City and it's sometimes suspect defense, as Arsenal's attack presents a multitude of problems. Assuming Fabregas plays, and pings the ball around the field, City has to cope with the physical (flopping) presence of Maroune Chamakh, as well as the tricky play of Andrey Arshavin and Samir Nasri on the wings, which opens it up for Fabregas to romp forward.
City, well, we kind of have a read on them. Tevez is the talisman, do-it-all forward. If the outside players of James Milner, David Silva or Adam Johnson show up and bring the goods, City is tough to cope with.
Hate to boil these down to cliches, but this might be about which team wants it more, since this game is crying out for a late winner. Arsenal did play well in a similar spot at Stamford Bridge, but couldn't finish its chances. For some reason, think the Gunners are due. ... City 1, Arsenal 2
Last round: 6-4
Season: 32-48
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, EPL picks, Liverpool, Soccer, Wayne Rooney
"Just be a man, put cha name on it." -- Herm Edwards
Late Monday, part-time T.O.P. contributor Jared Dunn put forth the suggestion in the comments section of my EPL Monday post:
At the time, it seemed like a valid idea to float around. It's since been proven a bit incorrect since now Wayne Rooney, Sir Alex Ferguson and everyone else involved in what's rapidly becoming, the English tabloid/sporting media version of the perfect storm, that indeed the one-time 'Boy Wonder' want out at Old Trafford.
In journalistic terms, this story has established the four, classic "Ws" -- who, what, where and when. What's missing is that fifth, juiciest, most interesting "W" -- the why?
Why does Rooney seem hell bent of wearing something other than the famous red shirt?
Tuesday, Sir Alex -- that sly old dog -- certainly deflected the blame from himself and any possible falling out between he and Rooney:
Now, do you personally believe Ferguson? Or anyone in this whole saga? Did the sly old Scot spin the story make Rooney look like the bad guy?
Rooney is playing it very close to the vest, without saying anything that we can look and or listen to and try to decode.
Earlier Tuesday, restlesss and unable to sleep, so I flipped on FSC which was running Sky Sports' take on the story. The package included a press conference from Ipswich Town manager Roy Keane, who himself famously fell-out with Ferguson. Keane said Rooney, "has to look out for No. 1."
And since we're on the subject of conspiracy theories, here's mine ... and it's not that scandalous or anything. Rooney just wants to get paid. P-A-I-D.
Dial Rasheed Wallace and cut that check.
Think about the facts:
1. Rooney may or may not have recovered from that ankle injury from the March Champions League match with Bayern.
1a) His form has fallen off the cliff.
(We can't devalue how good actually Rooney was, up until the injury since he even scored vs. the Germans before limping off. It hasn't ceased to amaze me how Rooney has gone from a threat on every touch of the ball, to a broken down nobody.)
2. He's only 24, but it's an ooooold 24. Like some of those NBA players who jumped straight from high school to the NBA, there's a lot of mileage on those legs. At an age while some American or journeyman foreign players are still plugging away in the NCAA, Rooney has logged 260 professional club matches, and a whopping 67 internationals.
For some context, 23-year-old U.S. international Michael Bradley is at 150 club games and 50 internationals. Stuart Holden, a year older, has but 111 total on his resume. Better yet, Steven Gerrard, now 30, has 373 games for Liverpool and 88 for England and Gerrard is a workhorse and playing nearly 60 club games a season, yet Rooney has 70 percent of his game total in six less years.
Remember this, too, since debuting for Everton five days before his 17th birthday in 2002, he's basically gone non-stop, twice rushing back from injuries before the 2006 and 2010 World Cups, instead of a summer of rest. In the immortal words of Lou Brown from "Major League," ... "even tough guys get sprains, muscle pulls." ... It makes you wonder: how much punishment can the body withstand, especially with a player like Rooney who always goes 110 mph.
3. Manchester United's debt and cost-cutting means the club likely won't be able to afford to offer him a massive, mega-contract when his deal runs out in 2012. With all the endorsements and career earnings, you'd think Rooney has a pretty big nest egg.
However, if his body is all used up, how much more can he earn as a player. If you want to take the conspiracy even further, don't forget those prickly prostitute rumors. If his marriage to Colleen falls apart he's looking at a lot of alimony, assuming his pre-nup isn't lock solid.
3b) Sir Alex himself is 68 years old. He's not going to control the United dressing room forever. Okay, he could put on a pair of Coke-bottle glasses and become Northwest England's version of Joe Paterno.
If you add it all up, it's pretty simple why Rooney -- or more specifically his set of agents and handlers -- would want to float this story and get it out there. Don't underrate this whispers from people inside Rooney's camp trying to say what's best for him. In his weakened mental state, he's very vulnerable to bad advice and remember, it's not like he's on a provisional MENSA membership program, either.
The longer Rooney waits, the more listless, half-speed matches he plays, the more his value drops. As it stands right now, he's still a "name", he's still starring in ads for "FIFA 11" (*), he's still a big Ron Burgundy-esque deal who'd sell millions of dollars/pounds/Euros of replica shirts. Even in the midst of seventh-month goal-drought, Rooney's retained his place on unofficial "Top Five Players in the World" list, even if its an artificial place.
(*) A random thought: Who are the most well-known current soccer players to English-speaking Americans? David Beckham and Landon Donovan for certain. Then maybe (still) Freddy Adu, Cristiano Ronaldo and probably Rooney. The news Tuesday even made "The Lead" designation on ESPN's bottomline.
What we don't know is if Rooney has hit the terminal decline in form and use, or it's a temporary dip? Is he trying to force the issue before the world catches on, that's he's no longer the pint-sized, T-Rex-armed, balding madman who terrorized England and continental Europe? It would be shocking, yes, that a 24-year-old lost it all in a matter of months, but it's entirely plausible within the context of soccer.
Monday -- or was it Sunday? -- I posed the question, which American athlete Rooney's sudden, jarring drop in form most resembled? "Drewdat" suggested Tiger Woods, and that's a pretty good parallel.
The more you think about it, the more calculating and Machiavellian this scenario gets, the more it resembles LeBron James decision to leave Cleveland for Miami earlier this summer. When you strip away all the "Decision" related bullshit from James seeming betrayal, it boiled down to LeBron wanting to a) play with his buddies and b) get paid in the process. Okay, winning probably was a factor, too. (And before you chime in, yes, it would be a more apt comparison if Rooney were still at Everton.)
Rooney, of course, will never utter the immortal words of, "taking his talents to South Beach," although a move from Manchester United to Manchester City -- now with its mega oil-money -- is almost as nefarious as going from Cleveland to Miami.
However, wouldn't it have been cool if DJ Steve Porter could edit, "It's nice to hear your own fans boo ya," into the viral-sensation, "Press Hop 2."
Until Rooney opens his mouth, out-in-the-open and addressees the situation, all we can do is watch as the ever-reliable English media fans the tabloid flames.
[UPDATE -- Wednesday Rooney essentially laid the blame lay on the club's inability to compete with the financial big boys anymore to win trophies. He also discounted a fall-out with Ferguson.]
Late Monday, part-time T.O.P. contributor Jared Dunn put forth the suggestion in the comments section of my EPL Monday post:
"I think this whole Rooney saga is a conspiracy between the league, press, and Fergie/Roons to generate some fake drama to help mask the fact that the product on the pitch so far this season has been stone cold booooooring."
At the time, it seemed like a valid idea to float around. It's since been proven a bit incorrect since now Wayne Rooney, Sir Alex Ferguson and everyone else involved in what's rapidly becoming, the English tabloid/sporting media version of the perfect storm, that indeed the one-time 'Boy Wonder' want out at Old Trafford.
In journalistic terms, this story has established the four, classic "Ws" -- who, what, where and when. What's missing is that fifth, juiciest, most interesting "W" -- the why?
Why does Rooney seem hell bent of wearing something other than the famous red shirt?
Tuesday, Sir Alex -- that sly old dog -- certainly deflected the blame from himself and any possible falling out between he and Rooney:
"We've never had any argument, not a bit. I think you have to understand the mechanics of these situations when people want to leave the club. It's an easy one to say he's fallen out with the manager, a very easy one to say. I think there are traces of that too."
Now, do you personally believe Ferguson? Or anyone in this whole saga? Did the sly old Scot spin the story make Rooney look like the bad guy?
Rooney is playing it very close to the vest, without saying anything that we can look and or listen to and try to decode.
Earlier Tuesday, restlesss and unable to sleep, so I flipped on FSC which was running Sky Sports' take on the story. The package included a press conference from Ipswich Town manager Roy Keane, who himself famously fell-out with Ferguson. Keane said Rooney, "has to look out for No. 1."
And since we're on the subject of conspiracy theories, here's mine ... and it's not that scandalous or anything. Rooney just wants to get paid. P-A-I-D.
Dial Rasheed Wallace and cut that check.
Think about the facts:
1. Rooney may or may not have recovered from that ankle injury from the March Champions League match with Bayern.
1a) His form has fallen off the cliff.
(We can't devalue how good actually Rooney was, up until the injury since he even scored vs. the Germans before limping off. It hasn't ceased to amaze me how Rooney has gone from a threat on every touch of the ball, to a broken down nobody.)
2. He's only 24, but it's an ooooold 24. Like some of those NBA players who jumped straight from high school to the NBA, there's a lot of mileage on those legs. At an age while some American or journeyman foreign players are still plugging away in the NCAA, Rooney has logged 260 professional club matches, and a whopping 67 internationals.
For some context, 23-year-old U.S. international Michael Bradley is at 150 club games and 50 internationals. Stuart Holden, a year older, has but 111 total on his resume. Better yet, Steven Gerrard, now 30, has 373 games for Liverpool and 88 for England and Gerrard is a workhorse and playing nearly 60 club games a season, yet Rooney has 70 percent of his game total in six less years.
Remember this, too, since debuting for Everton five days before his 17th birthday in 2002, he's basically gone non-stop, twice rushing back from injuries before the 2006 and 2010 World Cups, instead of a summer of rest. In the immortal words of Lou Brown from "Major League," ... "even tough guys get sprains, muscle pulls." ... It makes you wonder: how much punishment can the body withstand, especially with a player like Rooney who always goes 110 mph.
3. Manchester United's debt and cost-cutting means the club likely won't be able to afford to offer him a massive, mega-contract when his deal runs out in 2012. With all the endorsements and career earnings, you'd think Rooney has a pretty big nest egg.
However, if his body is all used up, how much more can he earn as a player. If you want to take the conspiracy even further, don't forget those prickly prostitute rumors. If his marriage to Colleen falls apart he's looking at a lot of alimony, assuming his pre-nup isn't lock solid.
3b) Sir Alex himself is 68 years old. He's not going to control the United dressing room forever. Okay, he could put on a pair of Coke-bottle glasses and become Northwest England's version of Joe Paterno.
If you add it all up, it's pretty simple why Rooney -- or more specifically his set of agents and handlers -- would want to float this story and get it out there. Don't underrate this whispers from people inside Rooney's camp trying to say what's best for him. In his weakened mental state, he's very vulnerable to bad advice and remember, it's not like he's on a provisional MENSA membership program, either.
The longer Rooney waits, the more listless, half-speed matches he plays, the more his value drops. As it stands right now, he's still a "name", he's still starring in ads for "FIFA 11" (*), he's still a big Ron Burgundy-esque deal who'd sell millions of dollars/pounds/Euros of replica shirts. Even in the midst of seventh-month goal-drought, Rooney's retained his place on unofficial "Top Five Players in the World" list, even if its an artificial place.
(*) A random thought: Who are the most well-known current soccer players to English-speaking Americans? David Beckham and Landon Donovan for certain. Then maybe (still) Freddy Adu, Cristiano Ronaldo and probably Rooney. The news Tuesday even made "The Lead" designation on ESPN's bottomline.
What we don't know is if Rooney has hit the terminal decline in form and use, or it's a temporary dip? Is he trying to force the issue before the world catches on, that's he's no longer the pint-sized, T-Rex-armed, balding madman who terrorized England and continental Europe? It would be shocking, yes, that a 24-year-old lost it all in a matter of months, but it's entirely plausible within the context of soccer.
Monday -- or was it Sunday? -- I posed the question, which American athlete Rooney's sudden, jarring drop in form most resembled? "Drewdat" suggested Tiger Woods, and that's a pretty good parallel.
The more you think about it, the more calculating and Machiavellian this scenario gets, the more it resembles LeBron James decision to leave Cleveland for Miami earlier this summer. When you strip away all the "Decision" related bullshit from James seeming betrayal, it boiled down to LeBron wanting to a) play with his buddies and b) get paid in the process. Okay, winning probably was a factor, too. (And before you chime in, yes, it would be a more apt comparison if Rooney were still at Everton.)
Rooney, of course, will never utter the immortal words of, "taking his talents to South Beach," although a move from Manchester United to Manchester City -- now with its mega oil-money -- is almost as nefarious as going from Cleveland to Miami.
However, wouldn't it have been cool if DJ Steve Porter could edit, "It's nice to hear your own fans boo ya," into the viral-sensation, "Press Hop 2."
Until Rooney opens his mouth, out-in-the-open and addressees the situation, all we can do is watch as the ever-reliable English media fans the tabloid flames.
[UPDATE -- Wednesday Rooney essentially laid the blame lay on the club's inability to compete with the financial big boys anymore to win trophies. He also discounted a fall-out with Ferguson.]
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, manchester United, sir alex ferguson, Soccer, Wayne Rooney
"Rooney, Rooney, Rooney." -- set to the tune of Kaiser Chiefs, "Ruby," ... hey it's fun to sing.
To being our weekly Monday jaunt through the Premier League grounds of England, a semi-misleading photo collage.
Let's face it, part of the charm about Wayne Rooney -- global soccer star -- is the simple fact he doesn't exactly look like a world class, elite level athlete, what with the receding hairline, baked bean teeth and penchant to smoke the occasional cigarette.
And as rumors swirl this weekend that he wants out of Old Trafford, perhaps, the fact he looked like your average, working-class English geezer will be his inevitable undoing. He looked like one of them. He acted like one of them. It was destiny, innit? Could the pressure heaped on Rooney to become the man to lead England to its first international footballing glory since 1966 became too much and now he's finally cracking?
Look at the two photos juxtaposed above each other. The first is only from 2008, when Manchester United won the English Premier League and Champions League. The lower shot is from Saturday's shock 2-2 draw with West Brom, as he sat the bench at Old Trafford.
There's the old "eye test" in action and Rooney doesn't pass it.
Most everyone will point to Sir Alex Ferguson falling out with David Beckham, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Roy Keane and Eric Cantona, insinuating Rooney isn't bigger than the gaffer or club.
It's but one prong in a toxic trio, which has turned Rooney from a Ballon d'Or finalist to a guy who looks, old, withered and washed up at the tender age of 24. Two years ago United could put Rooney essentially anywhere on the field and he made and impact, now the club can't even play him effectively at striker.
Rooney is dealing with: a) the sudden Sir Alex Cold War; b) the ankle injury from last spring vs. Bayern that may have never healed and; c) the prostitute scandal. That's a row of cherries in the anti-sports slot machine.
Sunday afternoon I posed on Twitter, which American athlete's fall from grace mirrored Rooney, where his image and skills on the field fell off the cliff simultaneously? A couple people responded with Penny Hardaway, which on the surface sounds good, except it's been essentially proven the ex-Memphis State -- the erstwhile Butch McRae -- was a workout wonder, who was good, but not a totally transcendent star who saw his career untracked by injuries. Put it this way, even with the Little Penny ads, Hardaway never sat atop the basketball world like Rooney did with soccer.
Perhaps Rooney isn't too far from Michael Vick, who's career was already trending downward with the Falcons before the dog fighting charges that led to a prison sentence. Overall, though, what we're seeing with Rooney is almost alien to American sports -- a sudden, shocking total personal and professional collapse.
In soccer? The massive dips in form and guys burning out prematurely is nothing new. From Ronaldo to Paul Gascoigne, we've seen too many soccer Icaruses who ended up flying too close to the sun and burning up. Before we can really take Rooney's move toward the Old Trafford exit seriously, the fundamental question of whether or not his drop in form is temporary and he's already peaked, or if it's just a blip on the radar? Nobody can answer that just yet.
So what's the knee-jerk reaction to this sudden, shocking Rooney crisis?
Guess it depends, would United and Ferguson -- who may not be around all that much longer himself -- will actually decide to sell Rooney before his current contract expires in 2012. To me, it seems a little premature and Rooney's declaration on Sunday might be posturing. Cooler heads tend to prevail in scenarios like this.
The idea that "no one player is bigger than the club" is nice, but let's be reasonable. Unless the relationship is damaged beyond repair, it behooves United to patch it up. The club precarious financial situation makes it unlikely that another World Top Five player is falling into their laps any time soon. Recall over the summer Sir Alex had to watch Mesut Ozil land at the Bernabeu while he went for ... umm .. Bebe.
And if Rooney does indeed force an move, top tier talents might see the aura of playing at Old Trafford diminished, if ever so slightly. Don't discount that aura and allure either, of suiting up for "Man U," since it's about all the club has at this point to offset the swimming pools of money at Chelsea and Manchester City.
On the other hands, who has the money to pay United what Rooney is worth: Real Madrid? Barcelona? Inter Milan? Bayern? (cough, cough) the Red Bulls?
These all seem far-fetched, and far-flung destinations. Yet consider the taxes in England are astronomical and the press is relentless.
And hey, for all its galatic level talent, it's not like a certain club that plays out of the Spanish capital is over-flowing with strikers on the current roster. If Real Madrid is able to able to find a buyer for Kaka (Inter again?) it would make Rooney to Real better than 50/50 bet, even if it will immediately draw Michael Owen 2.0 comparisons.
You'd never think an English ex-gangster would settle in sunny southern Spain, but Gal certainly did in "Sexy Beast."
* * *
Manchester malaise:
The Rooney problems are the easier, juicier target for Manchester United's current struggles, if it's even accurate to call them that. The 2-2 draw with West Brom, where the Baggies overcame a 2-0 deficit at halftime underscored the lack of killer instinct in the squad, as Dimitar Berbatov and others missed plenty of chances in the first half to salt the game away.
United aren't bad, but it's clearly not a sharp, incisive side at the moment. There are two huge issues Sir Alex must sort out, trying to pretend like the losses of Carlos Tevez and Cristiano Ronaldo in recent years aren't still having a massive impact.
1) The Defense -- When United won the League in 2008/09 it allowed a joint league-low, with Chelsea, of only 24 goals. On top of that the club posted 24 clean sheets in 38 matches.
Through eight matches this season, the Red Devils have posted three clean sheets and 11 goals allowed. Jarring numbers, to say the least. For the less math-inclined, that's nearly 45 percent of the goal total in roughly 21 percent of the season.
It's easy to point at the decline of the Nemanja Vidic-Rio Ferdinand partnership, but Patrice Evra's drop in form is almost as sudden as Rooney's. It's hard to fathom is mutinous display with France over the summer has carried with him to the club level. Karma once again being a bitch?
United is getting nothing from the right, either, as Rafael isn't doing much.
1a) Van der Sar's blunder -- The big Dutchman has looked past his expiration date all season, but just his Luis Castillo-esque drop vs. West Brom. He's retiring at the end of the year. Where United turns will be interesting. Hey, Roy Carroll is still playing for Odense BK.
2. Central Midfield -- Throw Michael Carrick into the heap of United players out of sorts. What happened? Without Paul Scholes and Darren Fletcher, the United midfield couldn't ice the game. Perhaps Owen Hargreaves settles this, but as it stands, Anderson is rapidly becoming the Old Trafford version of Lucas ... a player, rightly or wrongly, that symbolizes failure.
* * *
Liverpool, Rock Bottom v. 8.1:
First, before the usual Liverpool schadenfreude, a tip of the cap to David Moyes and Everton for a solid, deserved 2-0 win. The Toffees are all the way up to 11th, with two-straight wins. Slow starters, are thy name.
As for Liverpool? Missed the game itself.(*) Once again, I'll point you in the direction of Nate from "Oh You Beauty," who probably won't be trading Christmas cards with Roy Hodgson this yuletide season.
(*) Final scheduled Sunday a.m. softball doubleheader ... which I almost slept through since I set my alarm for 8:15 p.m. Woke up at 9:01. Drove about 90 mph on the highway to get to the field. Felt like one of those bad dreams where you're giving a speech and realize you're only in your underwear. D'oh.
Crazy, in a game you lose 2-0 to your rival to fall to 19th in the table, that Hodgson would find a way to praise the performance. The experimentation with 4-2-3-1 isn't working. Both Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard are unsettled and Joe Cole is lost. And those are the bright spots, since Christian Poulsen and Lucas are a pale imitation of Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano.
At some point, though, Liverpool fans have to realize, like Rick Pitino, "the Spanish speaking holding midfielders are walking back through that door." Tim to pull off that Band Aid and move forward, even if the squad assembled by Rafa Benitez always seemed more suited and adept at playing in Europe than the weekly grind of the Premier League.
The Premier League still seems to be a 4-4-2 league, with variants of 4-3-3 and 4-5-1 permeating. The number one issue to address before January is if Torres: a) still wants to play at Liverpool b) still wants to give an effort and c) if he doesn't, who and want can you get for him?
There are still good players here, but they are clearly rattled. In the Prem, unlike American sports, you can't waste a season waiting for changes to take shape.
Maybe John Henry can dig Kevin Millar out of whatever dive bar he's currently populating and have him distribute some pregame shots of whiskey so the team can "Cowboy Up." At this point I've run out of my (free) advice.
Chelsea Hiccup:
Keep this one quick because the inch-count is rising on this post.
Not much to say about Chelsea. Is it surprising the Blues drew at Villa Park 0-0 without Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard? Nic Anelka is not an alpha-dog, goal scorer and more. He's settled into a secondary role. Flourent Malouda tried to take over, but ended up hitting the post.
It could have ended in a loss if Nigel Reo-Coker converted a late breakway, but cut him some slack, he is Nigel Reo-Coker after all.
Chelsea are now just two points ahead of Manchester City, which struggled to put away Blackpool 3-2. City, with it's defensive approach, is built to linger and should Cheslea continue to drop (the occasional) point. City aren't flashy, but they'll be difficult to break down and defeat, so as long as Carlos Tevez is a one-man gang, they'll be Chelsea's No. 1 rival, regardless of what Arsenal does.
Arsenal? Eh. Take the three points vs. a game Birmingham team. Nothing gorgeous about the win, but hey, it doesn't matter does it Monsieur Wenger?
Ironic, right, Jack Wilshere went in studs up on Nikola Zigic (a hilarious physical disparity) and was sent off. Missed the horrified reaction by Alex McLeish condemning Arsenal's tactics.
Under the Hood:
Truly, utterly bizarre game-winning goal from Tom Huddlestone Saturday, sending Spurs to a 2-1 win over Fulham, the Cottagers first defeat of the season mind you.
Tottenham had a corner, the ball pinged out to Huddlestone beyond the penalty area and he ripped a low, powerful shot past Mark Schwarzer. It was initially waved off by the linesman, who deemed William Gallas (correctly) in an offside position.
Huddlestone protested to referee Mike Dean that Gallas didn't interfere with the shot itself, even if he stood right in the way of the Aussie keeper, so it should be a goal. Wiley walked over to the linesman and overturned the call.
This was the first time I can remember something like this ever happening at any level. Again, it was a perfect place to have some kind of replay official, who could look at replay and deem if the French defender did indeed deflect the shot.
Has this ever happened before? Or at least this brazenly? Did we just witness a new soccer precedent?
Around the League -- Ian Darke (My Man!) uses one of those four-color ink click pens. Cannot express how happy this makes me. ... Where does Maroune Chamakh hide his snorkel and goggles? ... Bigger shock for Tottenham Saturday: Sandro's debut or Ledley King limping off with a non-contact injury. I'll hand it to Sandro since he attempted to play with a popped collar all match. ... Clint Dempsey keeps making it happen for Fulham. Fantastic body control inside the box set it up for Diomansy Kamara on a tee. ... Two goals from Charles N'Zogbia for Wigan. I don't even know what to say, guess I'm just impressed. ... Nice job by Newcastle to rally late with the equalizer coming from mock-worthy Fab Coloccini. ... Always good to Ivan Klasnic score, too, for Bolton since he did have that kidney transplant and all. ... Oh and now there's this. A judge ordering Andy Carroll to live with Kevin Nolan. Can't make this stuff up, folks. ... Another tremendous job by the Fox Soccer Channel graphic department, listing the Chelsea/Aston Villa game as "final" at halftime. At least it proved prescient, since the matched did end 0-0..
Fantasy Team O' the Week:
Iki Dort's Dirty Greens put up an eye-opening 80 points thanks to Chamakh, Tevez, Nani and seven from Phil Jagielka, who was supposedly unfit to play. Yeah, he was on my bench.
One Other Thing:
It amazed me to no end when I read Sunday night the Mexican club owners have a big vote in the decision of whom coaches the Mexican National Team.
Too bad Sebastian Cisneros doesn't own a soccer team.
To being our weekly Monday jaunt through the Premier League grounds of England, a semi-misleading photo collage.
Let's face it, part of the charm about Wayne Rooney -- global soccer star -- is the simple fact he doesn't exactly look like a world class, elite level athlete, what with the receding hairline, baked bean teeth and penchant to smoke the occasional cigarette.
And as rumors swirl this weekend that he wants out of Old Trafford, perhaps, the fact he looked like your average, working-class English geezer will be his inevitable undoing. He looked like one of them. He acted like one of them. It was destiny, innit? Could the pressure heaped on Rooney to become the man to lead England to its first international footballing glory since 1966 became too much and now he's finally cracking?
Look at the two photos juxtaposed above each other. The first is only from 2008, when Manchester United won the English Premier League and Champions League. The lower shot is from Saturday's shock 2-2 draw with West Brom, as he sat the bench at Old Trafford.
There's the old "eye test" in action and Rooney doesn't pass it.
Most everyone will point to Sir Alex Ferguson falling out with David Beckham, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Roy Keane and Eric Cantona, insinuating Rooney isn't bigger than the gaffer or club.
It's but one prong in a toxic trio, which has turned Rooney from a Ballon d'Or finalist to a guy who looks, old, withered and washed up at the tender age of 24. Two years ago United could put Rooney essentially anywhere on the field and he made and impact, now the club can't even play him effectively at striker.
Rooney is dealing with: a) the sudden Sir Alex Cold War; b) the ankle injury from last spring vs. Bayern that may have never healed and; c) the prostitute scandal. That's a row of cherries in the anti-sports slot machine.
Sunday afternoon I posed on Twitter, which American athlete's fall from grace mirrored Rooney, where his image and skills on the field fell off the cliff simultaneously? A couple people responded with Penny Hardaway, which on the surface sounds good, except it's been essentially proven the ex-Memphis State -- the erstwhile Butch McRae -- was a workout wonder, who was good, but not a totally transcendent star who saw his career untracked by injuries. Put it this way, even with the Little Penny ads, Hardaway never sat atop the basketball world like Rooney did with soccer.
Perhaps Rooney isn't too far from Michael Vick, who's career was already trending downward with the Falcons before the dog fighting charges that led to a prison sentence. Overall, though, what we're seeing with Rooney is almost alien to American sports -- a sudden, shocking total personal and professional collapse.
In soccer? The massive dips in form and guys burning out prematurely is nothing new. From Ronaldo to Paul Gascoigne, we've seen too many soccer Icaruses who ended up flying too close to the sun and burning up. Before we can really take Rooney's move toward the Old Trafford exit seriously, the fundamental question of whether or not his drop in form is temporary and he's already peaked, or if it's just a blip on the radar? Nobody can answer that just yet.
So what's the knee-jerk reaction to this sudden, shocking Rooney crisis?
Guess it depends, would United and Ferguson -- who may not be around all that much longer himself -- will actually decide to sell Rooney before his current contract expires in 2012. To me, it seems a little premature and Rooney's declaration on Sunday might be posturing. Cooler heads tend to prevail in scenarios like this.
The idea that "no one player is bigger than the club" is nice, but let's be reasonable. Unless the relationship is damaged beyond repair, it behooves United to patch it up. The club precarious financial situation makes it unlikely that another World Top Five player is falling into their laps any time soon. Recall over the summer Sir Alex had to watch Mesut Ozil land at the Bernabeu while he went for ... umm .. Bebe.
And if Rooney does indeed force an move, top tier talents might see the aura of playing at Old Trafford diminished, if ever so slightly. Don't discount that aura and allure either, of suiting up for "Man U," since it's about all the club has at this point to offset the swimming pools of money at Chelsea and Manchester City.
On the other hands, who has the money to pay United what Rooney is worth: Real Madrid? Barcelona? Inter Milan? Bayern? (cough, cough) the Red Bulls?
These all seem far-fetched, and far-flung destinations. Yet consider the taxes in England are astronomical and the press is relentless.
And hey, for all its galatic level talent, it's not like a certain club that plays out of the Spanish capital is over-flowing with strikers on the current roster. If Real Madrid is able to able to find a buyer for Kaka (Inter again?) it would make Rooney to Real better than 50/50 bet, even if it will immediately draw Michael Owen 2.0 comparisons.
You'd never think an English ex-gangster would settle in sunny southern Spain, but Gal certainly did in "Sexy Beast."
Manchester malaise:
The Rooney problems are the easier, juicier target for Manchester United's current struggles, if it's even accurate to call them that. The 2-2 draw with West Brom, where the Baggies overcame a 2-0 deficit at halftime underscored the lack of killer instinct in the squad, as Dimitar Berbatov and others missed plenty of chances in the first half to salt the game away.
United aren't bad, but it's clearly not a sharp, incisive side at the moment. There are two huge issues Sir Alex must sort out, trying to pretend like the losses of Carlos Tevez and Cristiano Ronaldo in recent years aren't still having a massive impact.
1) The Defense -- When United won the League in 2008/09 it allowed a joint league-low, with Chelsea, of only 24 goals. On top of that the club posted 24 clean sheets in 38 matches.
Through eight matches this season, the Red Devils have posted three clean sheets and 11 goals allowed. Jarring numbers, to say the least. For the less math-inclined, that's nearly 45 percent of the goal total in roughly 21 percent of the season.
It's easy to point at the decline of the Nemanja Vidic-Rio Ferdinand partnership, but Patrice Evra's drop in form is almost as sudden as Rooney's. It's hard to fathom is mutinous display with France over the summer has carried with him to the club level. Karma once again being a bitch?
United is getting nothing from the right, either, as Rafael isn't doing much.
1a) Van der Sar's blunder -- The big Dutchman has looked past his expiration date all season, but just his Luis Castillo-esque drop vs. West Brom. He's retiring at the end of the year. Where United turns will be interesting. Hey, Roy Carroll is still playing for Odense BK.
2. Central Midfield -- Throw Michael Carrick into the heap of United players out of sorts. What happened? Without Paul Scholes and Darren Fletcher, the United midfield couldn't ice the game. Perhaps Owen Hargreaves settles this, but as it stands, Anderson is rapidly becoming the Old Trafford version of Lucas ... a player, rightly or wrongly, that symbolizes failure.
First, before the usual Liverpool schadenfreude, a tip of the cap to David Moyes and Everton for a solid, deserved 2-0 win. The Toffees are all the way up to 11th, with two-straight wins. Slow starters, are thy name.
As for Liverpool? Missed the game itself.(*) Once again, I'll point you in the direction of Nate from "Oh You Beauty," who probably won't be trading Christmas cards with Roy Hodgson this yuletide season.
(*) Final scheduled Sunday a.m. softball doubleheader ... which I almost slept through since I set my alarm for 8:15 p.m. Woke up at 9:01. Drove about 90 mph on the highway to get to the field. Felt like one of those bad dreams where you're giving a speech and realize you're only in your underwear. D'oh.
Crazy, in a game you lose 2-0 to your rival to fall to 19th in the table, that Hodgson would find a way to praise the performance. The experimentation with 4-2-3-1 isn't working. Both Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard are unsettled and Joe Cole is lost. And those are the bright spots, since Christian Poulsen and Lucas are a pale imitation of Xabi Alonso and Javier Mascherano.
At some point, though, Liverpool fans have to realize, like Rick Pitino, "the Spanish speaking holding midfielders are walking back through that door." Tim to pull off that Band Aid and move forward, even if the squad assembled by Rafa Benitez always seemed more suited and adept at playing in Europe than the weekly grind of the Premier League.
The Premier League still seems to be a 4-4-2 league, with variants of 4-3-3 and 4-5-1 permeating. The number one issue to address before January is if Torres: a) still wants to play at Liverpool b) still wants to give an effort and c) if he doesn't, who and want can you get for him?
There are still good players here, but they are clearly rattled. In the Prem, unlike American sports, you can't waste a season waiting for changes to take shape.
Maybe John Henry can dig Kevin Millar out of whatever dive bar he's currently populating and have him distribute some pregame shots of whiskey so the team can "Cowboy Up." At this point I've run out of my (free) advice.
Chelsea Hiccup:
Keep this one quick because the inch-count is rising on this post.
Not much to say about Chelsea. Is it surprising the Blues drew at Villa Park 0-0 without Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard? Nic Anelka is not an alpha-dog, goal scorer and more. He's settled into a secondary role. Flourent Malouda tried to take over, but ended up hitting the post.
It could have ended in a loss if Nigel Reo-Coker converted a late breakway, but cut him some slack, he is Nigel Reo-Coker after all.
Chelsea are now just two points ahead of Manchester City, which struggled to put away Blackpool 3-2. City, with it's defensive approach, is built to linger and should Cheslea continue to drop (the occasional) point. City aren't flashy, but they'll be difficult to break down and defeat, so as long as Carlos Tevez is a one-man gang, they'll be Chelsea's No. 1 rival, regardless of what Arsenal does.
Arsenal? Eh. Take the three points vs. a game Birmingham team. Nothing gorgeous about the win, but hey, it doesn't matter does it Monsieur Wenger?
Ironic, right, Jack Wilshere went in studs up on Nikola Zigic (a hilarious physical disparity) and was sent off. Missed the horrified reaction by Alex McLeish condemning Arsenal's tactics.
Under the Hood:
Truly, utterly bizarre game-winning goal from Tom Huddlestone Saturday, sending Spurs to a 2-1 win over Fulham, the Cottagers first defeat of the season mind you.
Tottenham had a corner, the ball pinged out to Huddlestone beyond the penalty area and he ripped a low, powerful shot past Mark Schwarzer. It was initially waved off by the linesman, who deemed William Gallas (correctly) in an offside position.
Huddlestone protested to referee Mike Dean that Gallas didn't interfere with the shot itself, even if he stood right in the way of the Aussie keeper, so it should be a goal. Wiley walked over to the linesman and overturned the call.
This was the first time I can remember something like this ever happening at any level. Again, it was a perfect place to have some kind of replay official, who could look at replay and deem if the French defender did indeed deflect the shot.
Has this ever happened before? Or at least this brazenly? Did we just witness a new soccer precedent?
Around the League -- Ian Darke (My Man!) uses one of those four-color ink click pens. Cannot express how happy this makes me. ... Where does Maroune Chamakh hide his snorkel and goggles? ... Bigger shock for Tottenham Saturday: Sandro's debut or Ledley King limping off with a non-contact injury. I'll hand it to Sandro since he attempted to play with a popped collar all match. ... Clint Dempsey keeps making it happen for Fulham. Fantastic body control inside the box set it up for Diomansy Kamara on a tee. ... Two goals from Charles N'Zogbia for Wigan. I don't even know what to say, guess I'm just impressed. ... Nice job by Newcastle to rally late with the equalizer coming from mock-worthy Fab Coloccini. ... Always good to Ivan Klasnic score, too, for Bolton since he did have that kidney transplant and all. ... Oh and now there's this. A judge ordering Andy Carroll to live with Kevin Nolan. Can't make this stuff up, folks. ... Another tremendous job by the Fox Soccer Channel graphic department, listing the Chelsea/Aston Villa game as "final" at halftime. At least it proved prescient, since the matched did end 0-0..
Fantasy Team O' the Week:
Iki Dort's Dirty Greens put up an eye-opening 80 points thanks to Chamakh, Tevez, Nani and seven from Phil Jagielka, who was supposedly unfit to play. Yeah, he was on my bench.
One Other Thing:
It amazed me to no end when I read Sunday night the Mexican club owners have a big vote in the decision of whom coaches the Mexican National Team.
Too bad Sebastian Cisneros doesn't own a soccer team.
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, manchester United, Monday recaps, Soccer, Wayne Rooney
Hey hey, kids.
We're back from the international break, an international break which might have been the dullest, least eventful in recent memory, scissor-wielding Serbian hooligans notwithstanding.
A couple odds-and-ends before EPL Picks, does that do anything for you?
Second guessing -- I'm guessing, like most of the planet, you've tuned out "The Simpsons" ... probably years ago. Can't blame you. Last Sunday's "MoneyBART" was classic stuff, breaking down and riffing on the number crunching analysts currently ruling baseball.
It included this great line from Moe,“The only thing I know about strategy is that whatever the manager does, it’s wrong. Unless it works in which case he’s a button pusher.”
This line, coupled with the baseball playoffs and the NFL made me, naturally, think about soccer ... and if Ozzie Smith ever escaped from the Springfield Mystery Spot.
As we know, there's almost an unreal amount of scrutiny on soccer managers on the club level, double or triple that with international managers(*). Many leagues or clubs go through managers like one-ply toilet paper.
(*) Except the U.S. job, apparently unless us Inter-nets nerds count.
But when you think about it, in a free-flowing sport like soccer, once the opening whistle blows how much impact do managers have on the game? Sure there are cases, like the 2009 Champions League final where a legend like Sir Alex Ferguson decided to start Anderson for Manchester United vs. Barcelona, but that's a pre-game decision. Managers might tinker with a lineup, think Bob Bradley trying out a 4-3-3 this week for the U.S. game vs. Colombia, rarer is like what we saw in the 2010 World Cup Round of 16 game where Bradley pulled Ricardo Clark inside of the first half.
However the bulk of the work by soccer managers seems to be in training, identifying who's his best XI finding a system and then turning them loose. There's also the strategy of analyzing your opponent and trying to find weaknesses to exploit. From there it's up to the players to, you know, execute. Aside from dropping 10 players behind the ball, unlike the NFL, it's difficult to game-plan your way past a massive talent gap.
Soccer, to my knowledge, doesn't have too many Boise State-like gadget plays, aside from set piece trickery, does it?
Is this a little overly simple? Perhaps.
Consider this: Soccer managers don't have to worry about going to the bullpen for a relief pitcher or juggling a playoff pitching rotation or finding a way -- like Andy Reid -- to continually botch clock management. So yeah, you can point to a soccer manager and question why so-and-so started or why didn't you make this substitute player X? There's still less direct second guessing to particular in-game incidents(*) as we see in most American pro sports. (Maybe that's why the referees tend to take the brunt of the heat in many high-level matches.)
(*) I suppose, when say, Nigel De Jong karate kicks Xabi Alonso you can question Bert van Marwijk why that happened, or why the hatchetman is on the field, but it's not like the manager told him to do that, right?
It seems to me the bulk of the strategy for a soccer manger comes in international play, when you have to pick from a pool or players, or in Champions League-like affairs when you have to manage a game over two 90-minute legs. Most of the day-in, day-out work on the club level seems to be maintaining fitness and making sure you don't put too many Donnie's from "The Big Lebowski" on field who are out of their element.
Call me crazy, but once the whistle blows might be the easiest part of a soccer manager's job. Once that happens, they're just like us, sitting there watching what unfolds.
Even the greats like Ferguson are stuck resorting to the fabulously-named "squeaky bum time."
L'Affair de Liverpool -- Three quick things, since I'm not a lawyer.
First, I'll go on record that the NESV will (probably) do a good job, and (probably) figure out a way to remain at Anfield redeveloping it like the Red Sox have done at Fenway Park. I'm guessing John Henry, et al, realize what a global icon Liverpool is and respect it for the sporting asset it is, not some way to make a quick buck. Maybe I'm optimistic, but they don't seem like carpetbaggers.
Two, Tom Hicks might be the biggest sonofabitch on the planet.
It's like the term "ugly American" was invented to describe him.
As my friend "The Rev" joked on Twitter, get in line to be the first person on your block to buy a pink Liverpool hat.
Saturday:
* Fulham v. Tottenham -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) It was funny to hear John Harkes on ESPN2 talk during the U.S./Colombia match to talk how Eddie Johnson has worked his way into the Fulham lineup, even if it was a little misleading to people who don't really follow the Premier League since he never mentioned the injuries to Bobby Zamora or Moussa Dembele, who may be back this weekend. Guess that's splitting hairs. Johnson is out there -- take that Rasmus Elm! Fulham, of course, have been splitting the points all season, with one win and an astounding seven draws, which have ranged the gambit from third-place Manchester United to last place West Ham United.
Fun stat with Spurs, who've gotten one goal from and out-and-out striker in League play, coming from Roman Pavlychenko. That's equal to Alan Hutton's goal total. Another quirky Spurs stat fact. Tom Huddlestone has launched 18 shots this year, with only two coming on target. Guess this team would be the bottom of the table if not for Rafeal van der Vaart's Superman display. ... Fulham 1, Tottenham 1
* Manchester United v. West Bromwich Albion -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) Where's my chippy? Err, that would be where's my Ian Darke? At Old Trafford, of course.
Is the impossible close to happening? Could Sir Alex Ferguson and Wayne Rooney be in the midst of a falling out? Is it all conjecture in the notoriously unreliable British Media? The better question: a) why would United sell Rooney? b) what could they gain? and c) who would pay United what Rooney is worth and d) other than Manchester City or Chelsea trying to give United the Royal Eff You, who's realistically going to buy Rooney Tunes? ... As it stands Rooney's biggest contribution of the 2010-11 season thus far has been his star turn in the "FIFA 11" ads.
Amazingly, the gap between United and a team like West Brom (which may play without Peter Odemwingie) has never been so close, something I'd never think I'd write. Even in a weakened, aging state, United still have Dimitar Berbatov, Nani and Paul Scholes. United may rumored to be welcoming Owen Hargreaves back to the fold this weekend, an under-appreciated player who was key to their run to the EPL/Champions League double in 2008 and was the subject of the greatest-ever Sky Sports headline: "Canuck: I'm not rubbish." (Turns out he's stuck hurt. Alas. Also, if you YouTube Owen Hargreaves the first eight automatic suggestions as you type are "Owen Hart death." Eep.) ... Manchester United 2, West Brom 0
* Bolton v. Stoke City -- This will be the last time I'll mention it for a long time, promise. Not sure if Bob Bradley is watching the Premier League, but he's got to at least give Stuart Holden 90 minutes in a central midfield role for the USMNT. Michael Bradley can rest for one match. Yes, there's a difference between the week-to-week grind of the Premier League vs. the semi-randomness of international games. Still, Holden is showing he's a player the U.S. could build around as it transitions from the Landon Donovan/Clint Dempsey creative core. If anything, Holden by his blond-haired lonesome has made Bolton tolerable to watch, a Herculean task in-and-of itself.
As for Stoke City? Keep an eye on Jonathan Walters, a 27-year-old, journeyman grinder from the lower England leagues. Not the flashiest or most glamorous player you'll ever see, but Tony Pulis has given him a Premier League-lifeline and he looks to be taking advantage of it. ... Bolton 1, Stoke City 0
* Wolves v. West Ham United -- To stick with the U.S. players theme, the anti-Holden in England might be Jonathan Spector, who's gone from starter to out of the squad for Avram Grant, as the Israeli boss has settled on Danny Gabbidon and Lars Jacobsen outside. (At least, for Spector, Gabbidon is super-injury prone.) If he hadn't been born in Illinois would we care about a fringe defender on the bottom team in the Premier League? He's basically an American Ritchie da Laet or Ronald Zubar at this point. Not sure what the future holds for Spector, who won't exactly be in-demand should West Ham let him go. The Irons, after four-straight losses to open the year, are unbeaten in their last three. (Meanwhile Frankie Simek is tearing it up for Carlisle United in Leauge One.)
Wolves have one of the few Americans in the Prem, too, with keeper Marcus Hahnemann who hinted at international retirement this week. Can you blame him? Tim Howard is the U.S. No. 1 until further notice. To Hahemann's credit he worked his way onto two World Cup rosters, which isn't too shabby for an unheralded player. Plus he's an American player with a outgoing, funny personality, an even greater rarity. ... West Ham 2, Wolves 1
* Arsenal v. Birmingham City -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Question: Will Arsene Wenger have petition the Premier League to allow his charges to play this game in medieval suits of armor? Sure it would cut down in mobility and their first touches, but it would prevent them from another leg-breaking incident vs. Birmingham, although that Eduardo horror-tackle seems like a long time ago.
Better yet, will Arsenal (with my pal Hirshey in attendance) realize that teams aren't going to lay down and take their medicine at the Emirates. Highbury, this aint. The Gunners should welcome back Theo Walcott, but Cesc Fabregas remains on the sidelines, while Bacary/Bakari Sagna picked up a knock on France duty. Perhaps the latter injury allows Arsenal to play a more offensive-minded fullback.
Part of me is wondering if Arsenal is stuck between generations. Guys like Emmanuel Eboue, Alex Song, Carlos Vela, Denilson, etc. don't seem like title winners. Perhaps it'll take the emerging players from the group of Jack Wilshere's, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas, Craig Eastmond, Henri Landsbury etc. for Wenger to finally win a trophy.
Birmingham? Eh. If Alex McLeish team shows up and figures a way to put the Arsenal goal under pressure they'll be in this match. Seeing that West Brom won at the Emirates, you'd have to think Los Brum will be "up" for this match. Recall Kevin Phillips chumpatized Manuel Almunia last season, essentially ending the Gunners faint title hopes. ... Arsenal 2, Birmingham City 1
* Newcastle United v. Wigan Athletic --Newcastle's amazingly hirsute return to the Prem has been fun, hasn't it? The Geordie party might be coming to a crashing halt, though. The Mapgies did win promotion with front-line talent (Nolan, Barton, Carroll, etc.) but what the club doesn't have is depth. Highlighted by the de Jong war crime tackle on Hatem Ben Arfa, the club has also lost No. 1 keeper Steven Harper, joining long-term casualties Steven Taylor, Danny Simpson, Dan Gosling and Danny Guthrie. (Note to Chris Hughton, don't sign anyone named "Dan" in January.) The Premier League is a war of attrition, and Newcastle can't afford to drop any more bodies.
Anything of note about Wigan? If the Florida Marlins and New Jersey Nets had a kid, it might be as unloved and unwanted as the Latics. Sorry Roberto Martinez. ... Newcastle United 2, Wigan 0
* Aston Villa v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Not sure what's stranger with Aston Villa this year, that Stewart Downing leads the team with three goals, or that the club leads the league in fouls committed (Mick McCarthy just jumped in the air and clicked his heels), with Ashley Young, Marc Albrighton, Nigel Reo-Coker, John Carew and Stiliyan Petrov all with double-digit fouls. Is this team any good? I have no idea. They seem ok in spurts, but can't finish out matches and remain reliant on the so-maligned that he might actually be good, Emile Heskey.
Chelsea mushed Aston Villa 7-1 in their last meeting, but that was at Stamford Bridge. There's a lot of similarities in what Chelsea did this offseason, letting go of Michael Ballack and Deco, with what the New York Yankees did allowing Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui to sign elsewhere.
The Blues will have to get a result here without Frank Lampard, Alex, Salomon Kalou and some dude named Didier Drogba, no easy task. Losing Yossi Benayoun, a nice change-of-pace player off the bench, for an extended period will hurt, too. Good thing Michael Essien is back to full strength. Villa tend to be strong at home, so a slight upset might be in store. ... Aston Villa 1, Chelsea 1
Sunday:
* Everton v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Kind of an important game, no? When we think of the pomp and pageantry of the English Premier League, the passion, the chanting, the distinctyly English-ness of it all, this might be the match to perfectly surmise it all. Well, this or Wigan vs. Bolton at the DW Stadium.
Incredibly, both teams are sitting on six points, with Liverpool actually in the relegation zone. Insane. Throw in the craziness in the Liverpool ownership struggle and this might be one of the most pressurized, outright nutty games in recent memory. If Liverpool loses you might actually see red-clad Scousers in the Goodison Park away section fainting.
There's not a lot to like about Liverpool right now. Dirk Kuyt wrecked his ankle for Holland. Roy Hodgson has all but admitted he doesn't know what to do. Yikes. At least, maybe, Fernando Torres rides to the rescue.
Everton, despite it's typical slow start, isn't too far off from where it should be. The Toffees have drawn three and lost three games by one goal each. If the team gets a little sharper, its too talented to flirt with relegation. (It's about time for Mikel Arteta to step up, right?)
It's a shame that Maroune Feliani is injured again. It would have been fun to place a wager on who'd be sent off first, the Afro-rocking Belgian or Christian Poulsen.
Apropos of nothing, FSC aired a Premier League "Classic" from the 2004 season between Portsmouth and Manchester City at Fratton Park. Funny to remember Nic Anelka played at City and that Yakubu was once a fairly feared striker.
Part of me wants to think that Liverpool pulls out of its tailspin and everyone has a nice story on its hands, as the Red Sox owners ride into the rescue. Soccer isn't as sentimental as our Disney-ized American sports. Sorry, but Everton heap on the misery via a late Tim Cahill winner. ... Everton 2, Liverpool 1
* Blackpool v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Classic haves vs. have nots on display. This season has shown us that money doesn't always buy you wins. These are traditionally the games City struggles with, though their compact, holding midfield shield figures to slow down Blackpool's efficient counter attack. Ian Hollloway will miss this match with a touchline ban. Think he'd be happy to walk away from this match, even with a loss, so long as de Jong doesn't snap any ankles in the process. ... Blackpool 0, Manchester City 1
Monday:
* Blackburn Rovers v. Sunderland -- (Live, maybe ESPN?) Not much to say here. You're probably tired of my rambling by now anyways. Hopefully Darren Bent plays. ... Blackburn 1, Sunderland 1
Last round: 6-4 Season: 26-44
We're back from the international break, an international break which might have been the dullest, least eventful in recent memory, scissor-wielding Serbian hooligans notwithstanding.
A couple odds-and-ends before EPL Picks, does that do anything for you?
Second guessing -- I'm guessing, like most of the planet, you've tuned out "The Simpsons" ... probably years ago. Can't blame you. Last Sunday's "MoneyBART" was classic stuff, breaking down and riffing on the number crunching analysts currently ruling baseball.
It included this great line from Moe,“The only thing I know about strategy is that whatever the manager does, it’s wrong. Unless it works in which case he’s a button pusher.”
This line, coupled with the baseball playoffs and the NFL made me, naturally, think about soccer ... and if Ozzie Smith ever escaped from the Springfield Mystery Spot.
As we know, there's almost an unreal amount of scrutiny on soccer managers on the club level, double or triple that with international managers(*). Many leagues or clubs go through managers like one-ply toilet paper.
(*) Except the U.S. job, apparently unless us Inter-nets nerds count.
But when you think about it, in a free-flowing sport like soccer, once the opening whistle blows how much impact do managers have on the game? Sure there are cases, like the 2009 Champions League final where a legend like Sir Alex Ferguson decided to start Anderson for Manchester United vs. Barcelona, but that's a pre-game decision. Managers might tinker with a lineup, think Bob Bradley trying out a 4-3-3 this week for the U.S. game vs. Colombia, rarer is like what we saw in the 2010 World Cup Round of 16 game where Bradley pulled Ricardo Clark inside of the first half.
However the bulk of the work by soccer managers seems to be in training, identifying who's his best XI finding a system and then turning them loose. There's also the strategy of analyzing your opponent and trying to find weaknesses to exploit. From there it's up to the players to, you know, execute. Aside from dropping 10 players behind the ball, unlike the NFL, it's difficult to game-plan your way past a massive talent gap.
Soccer, to my knowledge, doesn't have too many Boise State-like gadget plays, aside from set piece trickery, does it?
Is this a little overly simple? Perhaps.
Consider this: Soccer managers don't have to worry about going to the bullpen for a relief pitcher or juggling a playoff pitching rotation or finding a way -- like Andy Reid -- to continually botch clock management. So yeah, you can point to a soccer manager and question why so-and-so started or why didn't you make this substitute player X? There's still less direct second guessing to particular in-game incidents(*) as we see in most American pro sports. (Maybe that's why the referees tend to take the brunt of the heat in many high-level matches.)
(*) I suppose, when say, Nigel De Jong karate kicks Xabi Alonso you can question Bert van Marwijk why that happened, or why the hatchetman is on the field, but it's not like the manager told him to do that, right?
It seems to me the bulk of the strategy for a soccer manger comes in international play, when you have to pick from a pool or players, or in Champions League-like affairs when you have to manage a game over two 90-minute legs. Most of the day-in, day-out work on the club level seems to be maintaining fitness and making sure you don't put too many Donnie's from "The Big Lebowski" on field who are out of their element.
Call me crazy, but once the whistle blows might be the easiest part of a soccer manager's job. Once that happens, they're just like us, sitting there watching what unfolds.
Even the greats like Ferguson are stuck resorting to the fabulously-named "squeaky bum time."
L'Affair de Liverpool -- Three quick things, since I'm not a lawyer.
First, I'll go on record that the NESV will (probably) do a good job, and (probably) figure out a way to remain at Anfield redeveloping it like the Red Sox have done at Fenway Park. I'm guessing John Henry, et al, realize what a global icon Liverpool is and respect it for the sporting asset it is, not some way to make a quick buck. Maybe I'm optimistic, but they don't seem like carpetbaggers.
Two, Tom Hicks might be the biggest sonofabitch on the planet.
It's like the term "ugly American" was invented to describe him.
As my friend "The Rev" joked on Twitter, get in line to be the first person on your block to buy a pink Liverpool hat.
Round 8 EPL Picks:
Saturday:
* Fulham v. Tottenham -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) It was funny to hear John Harkes on ESPN2 talk during the U.S./Colombia match to talk how Eddie Johnson has worked his way into the Fulham lineup, even if it was a little misleading to people who don't really follow the Premier League since he never mentioned the injuries to Bobby Zamora or Moussa Dembele, who may be back this weekend. Guess that's splitting hairs. Johnson is out there -- take that Rasmus Elm! Fulham, of course, have been splitting the points all season, with one win and an astounding seven draws, which have ranged the gambit from third-place Manchester United to last place West Ham United.
Fun stat with Spurs, who've gotten one goal from and out-and-out striker in League play, coming from Roman Pavlychenko. That's equal to Alan Hutton's goal total. Another quirky Spurs stat fact. Tom Huddlestone has launched 18 shots this year, with only two coming on target. Guess this team would be the bottom of the table if not for Rafeal van der Vaart's Superman display. ... Fulham 1, Tottenham 1
* Manchester United v. West Bromwich Albion -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) Where's my chippy? Err, that would be where's my Ian Darke? At Old Trafford, of course.
Is the impossible close to happening? Could Sir Alex Ferguson and Wayne Rooney be in the midst of a falling out? Is it all conjecture in the notoriously unreliable British Media? The better question: a) why would United sell Rooney? b) what could they gain? and c) who would pay United what Rooney is worth and d) other than Manchester City or Chelsea trying to give United the Royal Eff You, who's realistically going to buy Rooney Tunes? ... As it stands Rooney's biggest contribution of the 2010-11 season thus far has been his star turn in the "FIFA 11" ads.
Amazingly, the gap between United and a team like West Brom (which may play without Peter Odemwingie) has never been so close, something I'd never think I'd write. Even in a weakened, aging state, United still have Dimitar Berbatov, Nani and Paul Scholes. United may rumored to be welcoming Owen Hargreaves back to the fold this weekend, an under-appreciated player who was key to their run to the EPL/Champions League double in 2008 and was the subject of the greatest-ever Sky Sports headline: "Canuck: I'm not rubbish." (Turns out he's stuck hurt. Alas. Also, if you YouTube Owen Hargreaves the first eight automatic suggestions as you type are "Owen Hart death." Eep.) ... Manchester United 2, West Brom 0
* Bolton v. Stoke City -- This will be the last time I'll mention it for a long time, promise. Not sure if Bob Bradley is watching the Premier League, but he's got to at least give Stuart Holden 90 minutes in a central midfield role for the USMNT. Michael Bradley can rest for one match. Yes, there's a difference between the week-to-week grind of the Premier League vs. the semi-randomness of international games. Still, Holden is showing he's a player the U.S. could build around as it transitions from the Landon Donovan/Clint Dempsey creative core. If anything, Holden by his blond-haired lonesome has made Bolton tolerable to watch, a Herculean task in-and-of itself.
As for Stoke City? Keep an eye on Jonathan Walters, a 27-year-old, journeyman grinder from the lower England leagues. Not the flashiest or most glamorous player you'll ever see, but Tony Pulis has given him a Premier League-lifeline and he looks to be taking advantage of it. ... Bolton 1, Stoke City 0
* Wolves v. West Ham United -- To stick with the U.S. players theme, the anti-Holden in England might be Jonathan Spector, who's gone from starter to out of the squad for Avram Grant, as the Israeli boss has settled on Danny Gabbidon and Lars Jacobsen outside. (At least, for Spector, Gabbidon is super-injury prone.) If he hadn't been born in Illinois would we care about a fringe defender on the bottom team in the Premier League? He's basically an American Ritchie da Laet or Ronald Zubar at this point. Not sure what the future holds for Spector, who won't exactly be in-demand should West Ham let him go. The Irons, after four-straight losses to open the year, are unbeaten in their last three. (Meanwhile Frankie Simek is tearing it up for Carlisle United in Leauge One.)
Wolves have one of the few Americans in the Prem, too, with keeper Marcus Hahnemann who hinted at international retirement this week. Can you blame him? Tim Howard is the U.S. No. 1 until further notice. To Hahemann's credit he worked his way onto two World Cup rosters, which isn't too shabby for an unheralded player. Plus he's an American player with a outgoing, funny personality, an even greater rarity. ... West Ham 2, Wolves 1
* Arsenal v. Birmingham City -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Question: Will Arsene Wenger have petition the Premier League to allow his charges to play this game in medieval suits of armor? Sure it would cut down in mobility and their first touches, but it would prevent them from another leg-breaking incident vs. Birmingham, although that Eduardo horror-tackle seems like a long time ago.
Better yet, will Arsenal (with my pal Hirshey in attendance) realize that teams aren't going to lay down and take their medicine at the Emirates. Highbury, this aint. The Gunners should welcome back Theo Walcott, but Cesc Fabregas remains on the sidelines, while Bacary/Bakari Sagna picked up a knock on France duty. Perhaps the latter injury allows Arsenal to play a more offensive-minded fullback.
Part of me is wondering if Arsenal is stuck between generations. Guys like Emmanuel Eboue, Alex Song, Carlos Vela, Denilson, etc. don't seem like title winners. Perhaps it'll take the emerging players from the group of Jack Wilshere's, Jay Emmanuel-Thomas, Craig Eastmond, Henri Landsbury etc. for Wenger to finally win a trophy.
Birmingham? Eh. If Alex McLeish team shows up and figures a way to put the Arsenal goal under pressure they'll be in this match. Seeing that West Brom won at the Emirates, you'd have to think Los Brum will be "up" for this match. Recall Kevin Phillips chumpatized Manuel Almunia last season, essentially ending the Gunners faint title hopes. ... Arsenal 2, Birmingham City 1
* Newcastle United v. Wigan Athletic --Newcastle's amazingly hirsute return to the Prem has been fun, hasn't it? The Geordie party might be coming to a crashing halt, though. The Mapgies did win promotion with front-line talent (Nolan, Barton, Carroll, etc.) but what the club doesn't have is depth. Highlighted by the de Jong war crime tackle on Hatem Ben Arfa, the club has also lost No. 1 keeper Steven Harper, joining long-term casualties Steven Taylor, Danny Simpson, Dan Gosling and Danny Guthrie. (Note to Chris Hughton, don't sign anyone named "Dan" in January.) The Premier League is a war of attrition, and Newcastle can't afford to drop any more bodies.
Anything of note about Wigan? If the Florida Marlins and New Jersey Nets had a kid, it might be as unloved and unwanted as the Latics. Sorry Roberto Martinez. ... Newcastle United 2, Wigan 0
* Aston Villa v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Not sure what's stranger with Aston Villa this year, that Stewart Downing leads the team with three goals, or that the club leads the league in fouls committed (Mick McCarthy just jumped in the air and clicked his heels), with Ashley Young, Marc Albrighton, Nigel Reo-Coker, John Carew and Stiliyan Petrov all with double-digit fouls. Is this team any good? I have no idea. They seem ok in spurts, but can't finish out matches and remain reliant on the so-maligned that he might actually be good, Emile Heskey.
Chelsea mushed Aston Villa 7-1 in their last meeting, but that was at Stamford Bridge. There's a lot of similarities in what Chelsea did this offseason, letting go of Michael Ballack and Deco, with what the New York Yankees did allowing Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui to sign elsewhere.
The Blues will have to get a result here without Frank Lampard, Alex, Salomon Kalou and some dude named Didier Drogba, no easy task. Losing Yossi Benayoun, a nice change-of-pace player off the bench, for an extended period will hurt, too. Good thing Michael Essien is back to full strength. Villa tend to be strong at home, so a slight upset might be in store. ... Aston Villa 1, Chelsea 1
Sunday:
* Everton v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Kind of an important game, no? When we think of the pomp and pageantry of the English Premier League, the passion, the chanting, the distinctyly English-ness of it all, this might be the match to perfectly surmise it all. Well, this or Wigan vs. Bolton at the DW Stadium.
Incredibly, both teams are sitting on six points, with Liverpool actually in the relegation zone. Insane. Throw in the craziness in the Liverpool ownership struggle and this might be one of the most pressurized, outright nutty games in recent memory. If Liverpool loses you might actually see red-clad Scousers in the Goodison Park away section fainting.
There's not a lot to like about Liverpool right now. Dirk Kuyt wrecked his ankle for Holland. Roy Hodgson has all but admitted he doesn't know what to do. Yikes. At least, maybe, Fernando Torres rides to the rescue.
Everton, despite it's typical slow start, isn't too far off from where it should be. The Toffees have drawn three and lost three games by one goal each. If the team gets a little sharper, its too talented to flirt with relegation. (It's about time for Mikel Arteta to step up, right?)
It's a shame that Maroune Feliani is injured again. It would have been fun to place a wager on who'd be sent off first, the Afro-rocking Belgian or Christian Poulsen.
Apropos of nothing, FSC aired a Premier League "Classic" from the 2004 season between Portsmouth and Manchester City at Fratton Park. Funny to remember Nic Anelka played at City and that Yakubu was once a fairly feared striker.
Part of me wants to think that Liverpool pulls out of its tailspin and everyone has a nice story on its hands, as the Red Sox owners ride into the rescue. Soccer isn't as sentimental as our Disney-ized American sports. Sorry, but Everton heap on the misery via a late Tim Cahill winner. ... Everton 2, Liverpool 1
* Blackpool v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Classic haves vs. have nots on display. This season has shown us that money doesn't always buy you wins. These are traditionally the games City struggles with, though their compact, holding midfield shield figures to slow down Blackpool's efficient counter attack. Ian Hollloway will miss this match with a touchline ban. Think he'd be happy to walk away from this match, even with a loss, so long as de Jong doesn't snap any ankles in the process. ... Blackpool 0, Manchester City 1
Monday:
* Blackburn Rovers v. Sunderland -- (Live, maybe ESPN?) Not much to say here. You're probably tired of my rambling by now anyways. Hopefully Darren Bent plays. ... Blackburn 1, Sunderland 1
Last round: 6-4 Season: 26-44
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, EPL picks, Soccer
