It's been one of those weeks for me, so bear with me. Chances are you don't want to hear about my investigation into possible asbestos lurking in the vents of my office. Nor do you probably care that yesterday I got woken up around 4 a.m. to the sound of fire engines ... confirming, albeit in a roundabout way, that the house on the other side of the fence from my condo is probably in fact, a crack house ... or hopefully only a 1930s-style flophouse. Either or.
Throw in the fact I've been fighting the black lung from said possible asbestos and, yeah, not the best week in the world for your humble author.
Now, you're probably thinking, wait a second, I can't go 98 seconds without this dope updating his Twitter account with the most mundane details of his life and stupid jokes he probably thinks are the most clever bon mots this side of New Yorker cartoon. Guilty as charged, though Twitter is actuality probably does more to hurt my writing process than it helps. It's like a mathematician switching from long hand equations and abacuses to a calculator.
In any event, in about 150 words I've probably alienated everyone but the loyal, hardcore readers of this blog, so mom and dad, hope you enjoy the following quick hitters around the world of soccer ...
* Can both sides lose?: Speaking of Twitter, if you follow me there, you're well aware I'm perhaps the only person on the site who wasn't gaga for the prospect of four Real Madrid/Barcelona matches in the span of two weeks. For me, this was like the Red Sox and the Yankees playing baseball -- impossible to root for either team, especially with the post-match accusations back-and-forth.
Wednesday, in the first leg of the Champions League at the Bernabeu, the worst sides of both teams manifested themselves, before Lionel Messi saved the day with two late goals.
Real Madrid confirmed themselves to be a bunch of a high-priced, underachievers resorting to Jose Mourinho's cynical tactics in hopes keeping Barcelona from scoring an away goal. Is there anything inherently wrong with Mourinho trying to suck the life out of the game, in hopes of slowing down Barcelona's nearly unstoppable tiki-taka passing game? No, he should have that right and remember it did work last year for him with Inter Milan. Then again, it's nearly impossible to conjure up any sympathy for a team employing hatchet men like Sergio Ramos and Pepe. Imagine if Ricardo Carvalho weren't suspended for the first leg?
This match displayed on side that pisses me off the most about soccer. The Spanish press seemed outraged at Mourinho's audacity to play a defensive, cynical game. What's the point of the game in a Champions League semifinal: to lose beautifully or win ugly? Style points when you get this late in a major tournament shouldn't matter all that much, should they? No, you don't have to take it to the extreme as Mourinho tends to, but like the World Cup final between Spain and the Netherlands, what were the Dutch supposed to do, lie down and allow the Spanish to posses the ball and score at their leisure?
If you're Barcelona, though, life and soccer are all about style ... and acting holier than thou on all occasions. Were Real Madrid's thuggish tactics a blight on the "beautiful game"? Definitely. What about all of Barcelona's embellishment? It certainly didn't help.
Thankfully Barcelona do employ Messi, who is playing at a level beyond anyone else in any sport on the globe right now. Even a cynical jerk like myself can't help but be awed by his play. I'd hate sports otherwise.
Anyway, enjoy the video below of the best cuts of Barcelona's flopping around like they'd been shot in the fact. Yes, it's hard to believe that the second greatest player in the world -- Sergio Busquets (the football tactics nerd icon) -- would result to the dark arts. It happened.
Again, bless Messi for staying above the fray.
Both sides finally showed their true colors in match No. 3. We're all worse off for it, which is the true shame.
* Ze German!: If you read postmatch reports from Manchester United's easy 2-0 win against Schalke in Gelsenkirchen, Germany, on Tuesday you'd have thought the Royal Blues keeper Manuel Neuer was either the greatest goalie of all time -- an amalgamation of Lev Yaskin, Peter Schmeichel and Gigi Buffon or the Chuck Norris of soccer. You have expected to read someone reporting that Neuer doesn't do push-ups, instead he pushing the Earth down.
Less surprising with the rush for English journalists to anoint Neuer as the man Sir Alex Ferguson MUST buy to replace the retiring Edwin van der Sar, though it seems Schalke and Bayern Munich already have a deal in place for the German No. 1.
Tough call if you're Neuer. Manchester United is one of the true iconic worldwide clubs, with the chance to put yourself in the history books among some of the aforementioned goalkeeping legends. On the other hand, if you're German and you go to Bayern, you're basically setting yourself as an mega-star in your own country, with tons of endorsements and celebrity cache. You'd have to think being German and playing for Bayern is a pretty sweet gig.
Tough call for Neuer, less so for United if the deal to Bayern isn't already done.
* Deuce, take a bow: How much better can it get for Clint Dempsey, who scored a brace on Wednesday for Fulham against Bolton, stealing some of the thunder from El Clasico? The Texan now has 33 Premier League goals for the Cottagers, setting their all-time record for the Division.
Dempsey is also, by far and away, the most successful (outfield) player ever sold off by MLS and a prime example of how to use "Moneyball" tactics and apply them to soccer. Remember, the underlying principle of the Michael Lewis book was "the art of winning an unfair game."
The Premier League has the deck stacked against its lesser teams even more than Major League Baseball, so for Fulham to invest $4 million on a player who a) scored the goal to ensure their Premier League status in 2007 b) helped them reach a Europa League final and c) almost single-handily kept them afloat this season when the rest of the team's strikers were injured this season the club probably saw a, say, 50-to-1 return on that initial transfer fee from Chris Coleman.
That's how you have to do it, if you're not a deep-pocketed club in the Premier League. Find bargains from less glamorous leagues and hope those penny-stocks yield a windfall.
Either way, can't think of a better player than Dempsey to fly the American soccer flag in England. He's everything good about American soccer, even if at times he looks like he's auditioning from a roll in "Trainspotting 2."
Saturday:
* West Bromich Albion v. Aston Villa -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Whoever coined the term, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," was a smart little cookie, as it yielded one of the most memorable "Twilight Zone" episodes ever. In this case, these two Birmingham-area rivals are almost sitting on identical seasons. Aston Villa's record is 10-11-13, good for 41 points. West Brom is 10-10-14. For Villa this season was veering toward disaster status and sent a manager (Gerard Houllier) to the hospital. West Brom, meanwhile, couldn't be happier with its safe, midtable status. Funny, who would you rather support? Aston Villa, stuck in a rut, unable to crack the top of the league despite some talented England internationals, or West Brom where this season is probably as good as it ever gets? ... West Brom 2, Aston Villa 1
* Sunderland v. Fulham -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) Aside from the three promoted teams, there's a good chance Sunderland looks the most different of any Premier League club in 2011-12. Fulham might need to make an addition here or there, if the Europa League beckons through the FIFA Fair Play laws. Remember, Clint Dempsey + Ian Darke = Good Things All Over. ... Sunderland 1, Fulham 1
* Blackpool v. Stoke City -- Blackpool is teetering on the brink, but still in decent enough shape with a win or two. This, though, is a must win with the remaining matches against Spurs, Bolton and Manchester United. You'd think Stoke isn't too focused on this game. Major bummer for Mathew Etherington, always one of the site's personal favorites. Shame he blew out his hamstring in the midweek game against Wolves, making him a major doubt for the FA Cup final. ... Blackpool 2, Stoke City 2
* Wigan Athletic v. Everton -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Are you sitting down? Here's my boldest statement of all time in this history of this little ol' Internets. Ali Al-Habsi is clearly, 100-percent, no doubt, the best Omani in the history of the Premier League. Fact. Write it down. As for Everton, who would have thought Phil Neville would join Twitter and a) not be bullied off within two hours and b) actually turn out to be a good dude, answering nearly every "@" question. ... Wigan 0, Everton 1
* Blackburn Rovers v. Bolton -- Blackburn is on track to survive relegation by the theory three other teams will be worse than them. That's not looking like such a sound strategy, with the barbarians at the gate. At least Phil Jones is a player worth watching. The rest? ... Blackburn 1, Bolton 1
* Chelsea v. Tottenham -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Two weeks ago my friend "The Rev" purposed the idea that if Didier Drogba were to leave Chelsea at the end of the season, Spurs would be the perfect landing place. Call it prescience, since Harry Redknapp confirmed he'd try to bid on the Ivorian if given the chance. Things chance, though, since without Champions League football next year it would seem doubtful Tottenham would be able to entice Drogba. He'd certainly fill a need at White Hart Lane, even at his advancing age. Something to ponder. This game for the loser likely ends either a pursuit of the title or a place in the 2011-12 Champions League. It was a taught affair the first time, with Gomes conceding -- then saving -- a late penalty, when Chelsea was in the throes of its discontent. Are Chelsea due to stub their toe? Do Spurs have one last surprise in them? Manchester City's late win on Monday probably took all the wind out of Tottenham's sails. ... Chelsea 2, Spurs 0
Sunday:
Did somebody say, triple header!
* Liverpool v. Newcastle United -- (Live, FSC, 7 a.m.) By now I'm sure you've heard of this television program, err, programme that's going to happen in England called, "Geordie Shore." This is either the greatest thing ever, or the lowest ebb of humanity. Either or. No in between. Let's just say it'll tip toward the greatest thing ever if the Geordie gang hangout with Joey Barton in a nightclub and he puts a cigar out in all of their eyes, especially if they ever crossed over with "Jersey Shore." That ought to place it among the ranks of "Masterpiece Theater" and "Black Adder" in the pantheon of great British television shows. Oh right, there's also Andy Carroll against his old club. In light of "Geordie Shore" it's probably best he was transferred away from St. James Park before shooting started. Though, we've probably been robbed of some lager-related hilarity. Sources say, Carroll enjoys a pint or two on occasion. ... Liverpool 2, Newcastle United 0
* Birmingham City v. Wolves -- (Live, FSC+, 7 a.m.) Birmingham knows if they can win at St. Andrews, Premier League safety is all but ensured. Oddly, Birmingham actually has one less win than Wolves, who just might be dead after getting thumped by Stoke City in the midweek. ... Birmingham City 1, Wolves 0
* Arsenal v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, 9 a.m.) Guess, in a weird way, it would make perfect sense for Arsenal to get a result here and Manchester United to flop -- even with Tuesday's stroll in the park against Schalke in Germany. It's been that kind of season, right. Sir Alex Ferguson should be able to field his first choice lineup, with a place in the Champions League all but assured. Expect the Nemanja Vidic/Rio Ferdinand back line, backed up by whomever he deems fit in the midfield, likely Michael Carrick and Anderson. Guess it has to be nice to get Luis Valencia back, then relegate Nani to the bench for the Champions League, then unleash them both in the Premier League, right? This figures to be a game Wayne Rooney can run wild, since who on Arsenal is going to chase him around or give him the business? Jack Wilshere? By the same token, it's hard to see Theo Walcott getting around either Patrice Evra, Fabio. There seems to be some growing doubts about how good Cesc Fabregas has been this season for Arseanl, he can allay some of those doubts with a bossing performance Sunday. Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Why would choose for this game to find a way not to drop points? ... Arsenal 1, Manchester United 2
* Manchester City v. West Ham United -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Word to the wise, sell your club to guys from the Middle East with oil money, not blad Icelandic bankers. ... Manchester City 3, West Ham 1
Last week: 7-3
Season: 145-190
Throw in the fact I've been fighting the black lung from said possible asbestos and, yeah, not the best week in the world for your humble author.
Now, you're probably thinking, wait a second, I can't go 98 seconds without this dope updating his Twitter account with the most mundane details of his life and stupid jokes he probably thinks are the most clever bon mots this side of New Yorker cartoon. Guilty as charged, though Twitter is actuality probably does more to hurt my writing process than it helps. It's like a mathematician switching from long hand equations and abacuses to a calculator.
In any event, in about 150 words I've probably alienated everyone but the loyal, hardcore readers of this blog, so mom and dad, hope you enjoy the following quick hitters around the world of soccer ...
***
* Can both sides lose?: Speaking of Twitter, if you follow me there, you're well aware I'm perhaps the only person on the site who wasn't gaga for the prospect of four Real Madrid/Barcelona matches in the span of two weeks. For me, this was like the Red Sox and the Yankees playing baseball -- impossible to root for either team, especially with the post-match accusations back-and-forth.
Wednesday, in the first leg of the Champions League at the Bernabeu, the worst sides of both teams manifested themselves, before Lionel Messi saved the day with two late goals.
Real Madrid confirmed themselves to be a bunch of a high-priced, underachievers resorting to Jose Mourinho's cynical tactics in hopes keeping Barcelona from scoring an away goal. Is there anything inherently wrong with Mourinho trying to suck the life out of the game, in hopes of slowing down Barcelona's nearly unstoppable tiki-taka passing game? No, he should have that right and remember it did work last year for him with Inter Milan. Then again, it's nearly impossible to conjure up any sympathy for a team employing hatchet men like Sergio Ramos and Pepe. Imagine if Ricardo Carvalho weren't suspended for the first leg?
This match displayed on side that pisses me off the most about soccer. The Spanish press seemed outraged at Mourinho's audacity to play a defensive, cynical game. What's the point of the game in a Champions League semifinal: to lose beautifully or win ugly? Style points when you get this late in a major tournament shouldn't matter all that much, should they? No, you don't have to take it to the extreme as Mourinho tends to, but like the World Cup final between Spain and the Netherlands, what were the Dutch supposed to do, lie down and allow the Spanish to posses the ball and score at their leisure?
If you're Barcelona, though, life and soccer are all about style ... and acting holier than thou on all occasions. Were Real Madrid's thuggish tactics a blight on the "beautiful game"? Definitely. What about all of Barcelona's embellishment? It certainly didn't help.
Thankfully Barcelona do employ Messi, who is playing at a level beyond anyone else in any sport on the globe right now. Even a cynical jerk like myself can't help but be awed by his play. I'd hate sports otherwise.
Anyway, enjoy the video below of the best cuts of Barcelona's flopping around like they'd been shot in the fact. Yes, it's hard to believe that the second greatest player in the world -- Sergio Busquets (the football tactics nerd icon) -- would result to the dark arts. It happened.
Again, bless Messi for staying above the fray.
Both sides finally showed their true colors in match No. 3. We're all worse off for it, which is the true shame.
* Ze German!: If you read postmatch reports from Manchester United's easy 2-0 win against Schalke in Gelsenkirchen, Germany, on Tuesday you'd have thought the Royal Blues keeper Manuel Neuer was either the greatest goalie of all time -- an amalgamation of Lev Yaskin, Peter Schmeichel and Gigi Buffon or the Chuck Norris of soccer. You have expected to read someone reporting that Neuer doesn't do push-ups, instead he pushing the Earth down.
Less surprising with the rush for English journalists to anoint Neuer as the man Sir Alex Ferguson MUST buy to replace the retiring Edwin van der Sar, though it seems Schalke and Bayern Munich already have a deal in place for the German No. 1.
Tough call if you're Neuer. Manchester United is one of the true iconic worldwide clubs, with the chance to put yourself in the history books among some of the aforementioned goalkeeping legends. On the other hand, if you're German and you go to Bayern, you're basically setting yourself as an mega-star in your own country, with tons of endorsements and celebrity cache. You'd have to think being German and playing for Bayern is a pretty sweet gig.
Tough call for Neuer, less so for United if the deal to Bayern isn't already done.
* Deuce, take a bow: How much better can it get for Clint Dempsey, who scored a brace on Wednesday for Fulham against Bolton, stealing some of the thunder from El Clasico? The Texan now has 33 Premier League goals for the Cottagers, setting their all-time record for the Division.
Dempsey is also, by far and away, the most successful (outfield) player ever sold off by MLS and a prime example of how to use "Moneyball" tactics and apply them to soccer. Remember, the underlying principle of the Michael Lewis book was "the art of winning an unfair game."
The Premier League has the deck stacked against its lesser teams even more than Major League Baseball, so for Fulham to invest $4 million on a player who a) scored the goal to ensure their Premier League status in 2007 b) helped them reach a Europa League final and c) almost single-handily kept them afloat this season when the rest of the team's strikers were injured this season the club probably saw a, say, 50-to-1 return on that initial transfer fee from Chris Coleman.
That's how you have to do it, if you're not a deep-pocketed club in the Premier League. Find bargains from less glamorous leagues and hope those penny-stocks yield a windfall.
Either way, can't think of a better player than Dempsey to fly the American soccer flag in England. He's everything good about American soccer, even if at times he looks like he's auditioning from a roll in "Trainspotting 2."
Saturday:
* West Bromich Albion v. Aston Villa -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Whoever coined the term, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," was a smart little cookie, as it yielded one of the most memorable "Twilight Zone" episodes ever. In this case, these two Birmingham-area rivals are almost sitting on identical seasons. Aston Villa's record is 10-11-13, good for 41 points. West Brom is 10-10-14. For Villa this season was veering toward disaster status and sent a manager (Gerard Houllier) to the hospital. West Brom, meanwhile, couldn't be happier with its safe, midtable status. Funny, who would you rather support? Aston Villa, stuck in a rut, unable to crack the top of the league despite some talented England internationals, or West Brom where this season is probably as good as it ever gets? ... West Brom 2, Aston Villa 1
* Sunderland v. Fulham -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) Aside from the three promoted teams, there's a good chance Sunderland looks the most different of any Premier League club in 2011-12. Fulham might need to make an addition here or there, if the Europa League beckons through the FIFA Fair Play laws. Remember, Clint Dempsey + Ian Darke = Good Things All Over. ... Sunderland 1, Fulham 1
* Blackpool v. Stoke City -- Blackpool is teetering on the brink, but still in decent enough shape with a win or two. This, though, is a must win with the remaining matches against Spurs, Bolton and Manchester United. You'd think Stoke isn't too focused on this game. Major bummer for Mathew Etherington, always one of the site's personal favorites. Shame he blew out his hamstring in the midweek game against Wolves, making him a major doubt for the FA Cup final. ... Blackpool 2, Stoke City 2
* Wigan Athletic v. Everton -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Are you sitting down? Here's my boldest statement of all time in this history of this little ol' Internets. Ali Al-Habsi is clearly, 100-percent, no doubt, the best Omani in the history of the Premier League. Fact. Write it down. As for Everton, who would have thought Phil Neville would join Twitter and a) not be bullied off within two hours and b) actually turn out to be a good dude, answering nearly every "@" question. ... Wigan 0, Everton 1
* Blackburn Rovers v. Bolton -- Blackburn is on track to survive relegation by the theory three other teams will be worse than them. That's not looking like such a sound strategy, with the barbarians at the gate. At least Phil Jones is a player worth watching. The rest? ... Blackburn 1, Bolton 1
* Chelsea v. Tottenham -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Two weeks ago my friend "The Rev" purposed the idea that if Didier Drogba were to leave Chelsea at the end of the season, Spurs would be the perfect landing place. Call it prescience, since Harry Redknapp confirmed he'd try to bid on the Ivorian if given the chance. Things chance, though, since without Champions League football next year it would seem doubtful Tottenham would be able to entice Drogba. He'd certainly fill a need at White Hart Lane, even at his advancing age. Something to ponder. This game for the loser likely ends either a pursuit of the title or a place in the 2011-12 Champions League. It was a taught affair the first time, with Gomes conceding -- then saving -- a late penalty, when Chelsea was in the throes of its discontent. Are Chelsea due to stub their toe? Do Spurs have one last surprise in them? Manchester City's late win on Monday probably took all the wind out of Tottenham's sails. ... Chelsea 2, Spurs 0
Sunday:
Did somebody say, triple header!
* Liverpool v. Newcastle United -- (Live, FSC, 7 a.m.) By now I'm sure you've heard of this television program, err, programme that's going to happen in England called, "Geordie Shore." This is either the greatest thing ever, or the lowest ebb of humanity. Either or. No in between. Let's just say it'll tip toward the greatest thing ever if the Geordie gang hangout with Joey Barton in a nightclub and he puts a cigar out in all of their eyes, especially if they ever crossed over with "Jersey Shore." That ought to place it among the ranks of "Masterpiece Theater" and "Black Adder" in the pantheon of great British television shows. Oh right, there's also Andy Carroll against his old club. In light of "Geordie Shore" it's probably best he was transferred away from St. James Park before shooting started. Though, we've probably been robbed of some lager-related hilarity. Sources say, Carroll enjoys a pint or two on occasion. ... Liverpool 2, Newcastle United 0
* Birmingham City v. Wolves -- (Live, FSC+, 7 a.m.) Birmingham knows if they can win at St. Andrews, Premier League safety is all but ensured. Oddly, Birmingham actually has one less win than Wolves, who just might be dead after getting thumped by Stoke City in the midweek. ... Birmingham City 1, Wolves 0
* Arsenal v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, 9 a.m.) Guess, in a weird way, it would make perfect sense for Arsenal to get a result here and Manchester United to flop -- even with Tuesday's stroll in the park against Schalke in Germany. It's been that kind of season, right. Sir Alex Ferguson should be able to field his first choice lineup, with a place in the Champions League all but assured. Expect the Nemanja Vidic/Rio Ferdinand back line, backed up by whomever he deems fit in the midfield, likely Michael Carrick and Anderson. Guess it has to be nice to get Luis Valencia back, then relegate Nani to the bench for the Champions League, then unleash them both in the Premier League, right? This figures to be a game Wayne Rooney can run wild, since who on Arsenal is going to chase him around or give him the business? Jack Wilshere? By the same token, it's hard to see Theo Walcott getting around either Patrice Evra, Fabio. There seems to be some growing doubts about how good Cesc Fabregas has been this season for Arseanl, he can allay some of those doubts with a bossing performance Sunday. Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Why would choose for this game to find a way not to drop points? ... Arsenal 1, Manchester United 2
* Manchester City v. West Ham United -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Word to the wise, sell your club to guys from the Middle East with oil money, not blad Icelandic bankers. ... Manchester City 3, West Ham 1
Last week: 7-3
Season: 145-190
Labels: barcelona, clint dempsey, EPL, Lionel Messi, premier league picks, real madrid, Soccer
"Hey now, heeeeeey now ... don't dream it's over." -- Crowded House
Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak.
The Arsenal "Invincibles."
Undertaker's undefeated run at Wrestlemania.
There are iconic streaks in the world of sport. Numbers and figures that hold a certain place in the sports stratosphere, with a special aura unto themselves.
Only time will tell if Fernando Torres' 732-minute goalless drought to open his Chelsea career will ever achieve such legendary status. Realistically, if it extended into the 2011-12 season there might have been a chance. Either way, watching the Spanish striker fail to score was a fun, weekly or bi-weekly occurrence over the last three months.
All good things, must end, as Torres finally found the net, scoring late in Chelsea's 3-0 win over West Ham Saturday, which kept the Blues pursuit of first place Manchester United alive.
It sure was fun, though, while it lasted.
Suppose, too, Torres got the final laugh, falling over and the squirting a ball by West Ham's Robert Green on a water-logged turf, only to then by pig-piled on by his overjoyed teammates. The sight of John Obi Mikel essentially pulling a Rashard Mendhall and humping Torres afterward was something that could have ruined a weekend. If you subscribed to the idea purported by literary icon, Jose Cancesco, everyone needs a "slumpbuster" and that goal by Torres certainly qualified.
It's hard to comprehend exactly why it was so much watching Torres fluff first touches, squib on open nets or have goals whistled off for being offside. There was a simple, basic human joy in watching a man who Chelsea paid Liverpool over $80 million for on the last day of January continually fail. Is that an indictment on where we are as a society in 2011, that we collectively relish in the pain and misery of others? Or at least the "suffering" of a well-paid, world champion, soccer diva who pouted their way out of a club at the first sign of trouble?
Isn't it human nature to revel in the shortcomings of someone else who seemingly has everything while the rest of us struggle through 9-to-5 jobs, trying to carve out something relevant in our daily lives? Isn't it fun to see these aloof athletes knocked down a peg?
What is it that makes watching athletes -- or anyone famous -- flop so delightful?
Are we bad people for this?
Then again, you realize that even when Torres went from January 31 to April 23 without tallying in the Chelsea blue shirt, he was still making more money for that one game than the rest of will see in our lives, he still drives home in his luxury sports car to his loving wife and newborn son. He's still a World Cup and European champion, playing for one of the most elite, well-funded clubs in the world.
Even in failure, Torres was still winning at life.
So you know what, here's to hoping he goes another 732 minutes without a goal.
The karmic effects of Schadenfreude be damned.
Mexican Misgivings:
For a couple years, during his pomp with Manchester United, it was almost impossible not to enjoy the work of Cristiano Ronaldo on the soccer field. Forget about the diving, the winking, the stupid haircuts and general all-around asshole aura exuded by the Portuguese whiz.
The dude was playing on another level. If you couldn't respect what he was doing, then you probably hated sports.
Ronaldo isn't alone in this category in the world of sports. There are a lot of jerks that you don't necessarily have to like, but you do have to begrudgingly respect.
What then of Manchester United's Javier Hernandez -- Chicharito?
This is a specific case, which probably only applies to fans of the U.S. National Team. Can you live with yourself in a world where you don't outright blindly hate Chicharito?
Think of all the villains from El Tri through the years. Luis Garcia, Luis Hernandez, Rafa Marquez, Oswaldo Sanchez, Blanco, Jared Borgetti ...
And now, here's a delightful player who simply finds ways to score goals -- the latest a late headed winner vs. Everton on Saturday to keep Manchester United atop the Premier League by six points. That gives him 12, as well as displacing the Premier League's top overall scorer -- Dimitar Berbatov -- in the Old Trafford pecking order.
As easy as it is to loathe everything Torres represents at Chelsea, its equally as difficult to despise Chicharito at Manchester United.
So conflicted.
Taps:
Herein lies the remains of the 2010-11 Arsenal Football Club season.
Dreamed of quadruple.
Finished with nothing.
That's my way of being kind to Gooners around the globe. At this point they've heard, read and seen it all. I conveyed this message to my pal Hirshey(*) on Friday, but he told me it was too late to try to be sympathetic, which is probably true.
(*) FYI, Joe Cole scored this weekend. There's still time for my worst-ever prediction to ring true, yet. Eat that, Dave!
At least this weekend, after Tamir Cohen's stoppage time goal for Bolton put the final death knell on the season for Arsenal, Arsene Wenger finally had some moments of self reflection admitting that maybe despite the occasional dazzling performance, the Gunners just aren't mentally strong enough to win. Cold comfort at this point, however.
Wenger, at least, has seen the light and realized the emperor has no clothes.
This might be even more frustrating for Arsenal fans since what do you do going forward? Buying a commandeering central defender or a new keeper isn't going to be a cure-all panacea from the footballing gods. The team obviously has a lot of very good, talented players, too.
In theory you'd think a team featuring the likes of Robin van Persie, Jack Wilshere, Theo Walcott, Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri(*) should be able to contend for some kind of trophy. Ninety nine times out of 100, Arsenal probably does win the Carling Cup against Birmingham City. Instead for whatever the reason -- maybe it's in their DNA -- the team gags it up and loses on another self-inflicted wound.
(*) Writing these names, maybe we give Arsenal too much credit for its perceived greatness since there are a lot of ordinary players among its ranks too.
Is it time to admit the simple fact that winners find a way to win, while Arsenal finds a way to lose ... well, more specifically draw League games.
And as a grown, 30-year-old adult who went out to a bar on Friday night without his wallet -- accidentally -- believe me when I say it, I know a thing or two about how to lose.
Showing some guts:
Massive round of applause for Jordan Henderson and Sunderland showing some major backbone on Saturday at the Stadium of Light, ending an 11-match winless streak with a 4-2 win over Wigan Athletic.
What was impressive was that Sunderland went 1-0 early into the second half on a quality goal from Mohammed Diame. At this point they could have rolled over, instead they quickly equalized, but almost didn't.
After winning a freekick on the edge of the area, Sunderland tried to lay the ensuing kick to an on-running player in front of goal. Instead, he fluffed the chance and it bounced backward finally to Steed Malbranque, who crossed it to Asamoah Gyan. The Ghanian rose up and nodded it in.
And naturally, within minutes of the goal Gyan was stretchered off with a hamstring injury. Danny Welbeck got hurt, too, leaving the club without a striker for the final four games.
Still, Sunderland didn't roll over as Henderson scored his first of two goals.
It's not going to be a Top-seven finish, but Sunderland showed some fight for once, which should be lauded.
Around the League:
There's "having a laugh" and then there's what Liverpool did to Birmingham City, romping to a 5-0 win behind a hat trick from Maxi Rodriguez, of all players. Never really been that impressed by the Argentine during his time at Anfield, still, he's another of a growing set of options for Kenny Dalglish moving forward. ... Stoke City and Aston Villa played to a 1-1 draw, with the goals coming a) from a Rory Delap throw b) Darren Bent. In other words, it was the most predictable (dull) game of the weekend. ... Tottenham probably pissed away its chance to return to the Champions League by letting semi-unknown Simon Cox curl in a pretty sick goal with 10 minutes left for West Ham to draw 2-2. Spurs did get goals from Roman Pavyluchenko and Jermain Defoe -- both quality strikes -- but it's probably too little, too late from the misfiring pair. Tottenham, pending Monday's later result, will probably need Manchester City to drop points either at Everton or at Bolton to have any chance of edging them out for fourth place. ... Wolves were 10 minutes away from a vital win, then Fulham leveled through Andrew Johnson. Lots of a very unhappy fans and grim faces. ... What is Chelsea going to do or demand for Daniel Sturridge? He'll be in demand. You wonder, though, if he a player worth spending a double-digit million transfer fee? His value seems to rely, for Bolton, in the fact he's on loan and didn't cost much.
Fantasy Team O' the Week:
Yaseen Ahmed's Goal!!! put up 76 points behind Kuyt, Frank Lampard, Sturridge and van Persie.
One Other Thing:
Strange thought watching the first half of Bolton/Arsenal. ... The top advertiser at the Reebok Stadium appeared to be Bolton Kia. A local car dealership? For a league that's what by millions of eyeballs around the globe? Seems like the club needs to hire a few new people in the marketing department. Even if only for a game against a marquee team like Arsenal, Bolton should have tried to sell some more ads.
Labels: EPL, fernando torres, Soccer
Odds are not even someone who's logged over 1,000 hours on "Championship Manager," owns a different soccer shirt for every day of the month, or rearranges their schedule around live game action from around the globe -- aka a genuine soccer nerd -- raised an eyebrow when then-West Bromwich Albion manager Roberto di Matteo signed Peter Odemwingie in August from Lokomotiv Moscow for a little under $2 million.
Me? Pretty sure it warranted a "pfffft," or maybe a "really" followed by some pithy, dismissive comment.
A Uzbek-born, Nigeria international? Making an impact on the Premier League? At a nothing club like West Brom? What are you going me next? That Donald Trump is going to be the next President of the United States? (Beat that for a bon mot, Jon Stewart!)
Here we are in April, and there Odemwingie stands with 12 goals, the first player in West Brom history to score double-digits since the Premier League was hatched in 1992. You could make an argument the Nigerian forward has been as important as any other summer signing during the 2010-11 season, with the Baggies securely in 11th place and looking at Premier League status again. Granted, this is a classic 20/20 second guess that nobody saw coming. Most probably figured he'd be as useless at West Brom as fellow Nigerian international, Kanu, was a few years ago during their previous stint in the top flight.
By that token, who saw Chicharito becoming an instant cult hero -- and damn useful player -- for Manchester United within minutes of his debut? Lest we forget the Little Pea cost Sir Alex Ferguson barely $9 million to
Better yet, where would Tottenham have been this season if they didn't add defender William Gallas on a free transfer, with the seemingly endless defensive injuries at White Hart Lane?
If Wigan Athletic stay up, some of the credit goes to Roberto Martinez signing Antolin Alcaraz for a pittance. You could go club by club and find an unheralded, or unwanted addition making an impact. The entire Stoke City team has that vibe. Everton's David Moyes works almost exclusive this way, finding goals from lower league star Jermaine Beckford this season, when everyone else at Goodison Park got hurt.
If this year's Premier League season is the start of a new era, an era of increased parity -- sporting at least -- with the bottom teams capable of handing the powerhouses Big FourFive a game on a given weekend, one of the reasons has to be financial sanity, with teams making moves based on trying to win games, not sell replica shirts. It seems the pursuit of big names, or the typical post-World Cup flops was kept to a minimum. Teams seemed to have valued financial sanity over splashy headlines. Solid, week-in, week-out professionals seem to have more value than flashy imports who may or may not give you a moment of brilliance every now and then.
Yes, having written that you're immediately going to mention the GDP of Equatorial Guinea that was spent on Fernando Torres/Andy Carroll on the final transfer day in January 2011. Or than Manchester City dropped a huge chunk of change to bring Edin Dzeko into Eastlands from Wolfsburg. That did happen. We've all had our fun laughing on Torres, too. That, to me, seems like an outlier. A freak moment of insanity from billionaire Roman Abramovich and a player who's head is in the clouds.
Nothing is going to stop the top clubs with their seemingly endless cash reserves from spending big money on trophy players. It's the fact the middle tier teams finally seem content to live within their means, buying useful players who don't mind playing for the 10th placed team in the League.
Naturally, a easy counter to this line of thinking is, if Arsene Wenger plopped down a few more ducets and bought somebody other than Laurent Koscielny and Sebastian Squilacci, maybe Arsenal is in first place with five games left to play. Then again, Arsenal's malaise is probably comes down to a lack of accountability on the team, which is something you can't exactly buy at the corner shop.
Clearly there isn't a magic formula to building a winning soccer league. Did anyone expect for all the billions spent by Manchester City on high-priced acquisition after high-priced acquisition, that it's best bit of business might have been the low-key, low-money move for Adam Johnson last January? Sometimes you have to get lucky when you roll the dice in the transfer market.
That said, when teams can find bargains, be it unknown free transfers, or plucking players from lower or backwater leagues, it tends to pay off. It might only for one season, but these little bits of savvy investment can only help a club.
Just look this week at MLS, which with its single-entity, closed-salary structure is the diametric opposite of the Premier League or most other big time soccer leagues in the world. Even it had to deal with trying to assess proper value on U.S. international Benny Feilhaber, through it's frankly byzantine and outdated allocation process.
Would any team in the league want to add a creative midfielder like Feilhaber to their roster? Sure. When he costs close to $400,000 yearly, that desire tends to drop when you're dealing with a rigid salary cap. With MLS so transparent about it's player salaries, in comparison to the rest of the world (*) the individual franchises are better served to be bargain bid pickers, finding a player maybe who's 70 percent of the player of Feilhaber, yet costs 10 percent of his yearly salary cap figure.
(*) There's been a lot of news this week of player salaries. It's still not like North American sports, where you can dial up Google and have a team-by-team balance sheet. Always fascinated by clubs around the world try to hide this data like the Holy Grail.
When you can't simply drop $30 million to bring in a guy like, say, Luis Suarez you have to mind the purse strings, on either side of the Atlantic, and look for value in places you wouldn't naturally think. Russia, Columbia, the Argentine second division. With sheer amount of people playing soccer across the globe, there are bound to be some unknown diamonds lying in the rough.
And when the odds are stacked against you like they are for a modest club like West Brom, you have to roll the dice on a guy like Odemwingie and hope you pull a diamond rather than a cubic zirconia.
Easier said than done.
Game On?:
For, scientific estimate, the 4,321 since I started writing here on this little ol' slice of Internets, I made a mistake. The latest was laughing off a write-up labeling Chelsea's "faint" title hopes as a major reach.
Turns out, it probably isn't a reach at all. Chelsea, even after being knocked out in the Champions League quarterfinals, might have some of its swagger back.
Manchester United, six points clear of the Blues, have to play both Chelsea and Arsenal in their final five matches. Could Chelsea be waiting there to pick up if Sir Alex's boys falter? The schedule for Chelsea isn't terrible: vs. West Ham; vs. Spurs; at United; vs. Newcastle United and finally at Everton.
Best case scenario for Chelsea, Arsenal beats Manchester United on May 1, Wayne Rooney breaks his foot against another German team (this time Schalke) in the Champions League and then the Blues go to Old Trafford and beat the Red Devils.
The trick here, for Chelsea, is United's pesky four-goal advantage in goal difference, which could again come into play. Crazy to think United surpassed Chelsea when the Blues won their first five league games by an aggregate score of 21-1.
Saturday:
* Manchester United v. Everton -- (Live, ESPN, 7:45 a.m.) Weird, how Everton's season looked done-and-dusted after losing to Reading in the FA Cup in early March. Since that exit the Toffees are unbeaten, going 5-1-0, scoring at least two goals in all but one match. How David Moyes does it? We might never find out. It must have something do with the planetary alignments. Maybe that new Zodiac sign. Can that run continue at Old Trafford? A healthy, in-form Leon Osman helps. Is he and the rest of Moyes' Misfits enough to stop a seething United, coming off that scoreless midweek draw with Newcastle? This game did end 3-3 with that memorable, furious pair of stoppage time goals from Tim Cahill and Mikel Arteta in September. United probably find a way, but it comes late. ... United 2, Everton 1
* Tottenham v. West Bromwich Albion -- Typical Tottenham in the offing? Rebound from a 3-1 deficit to Arsenal, to draw 3-3 and follow it up with a limp display against a pretty decent West Brom team? If there's one immediate, direct way to improve Spurs for next season, it might be in goal. Not sure you can live with Gomes making crazy saves and last minute penalty kick denials, when at the same time he'll allow the softest goals you'll ever see. Problem is, it's not like there'd be a line out the door to buy Gomes, so the club is probably stuck with him for a bit. ... Spurs 2, West Brom 0
* Wolves v. Fulham -- Is this a must-win for Wolves? Probably not, but it's close. The weird thing for Mick McCarthy's team is that it's only played four games since the start of March. On the one hand, it allows the team to get over any minor injuries, but it's also hard to stay sharp when you're barely seeing live-game action. It helps explain why Wolves have been outscored 7-1 this month. After this match against Fulham and next week's with Stoke, Wolves play an easy schedule. The big thing here for Fulham is to avoid any retaliation from reckless Wolves tackles, since the Cottagers are still on track for a Europa League place under the Fair Play rule. In a remarkable stat, Aaron Hughes has started all 32 league games for Fulham without being booked. He clearly must invite the team over for daily tea and biscuits served in dainty, fine china cups and such. A true gentleman, it seems. ... Wolves 1, Fulham 1
* Liverpool v. Birmingham City -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Open question for Liverpool, if you're not going to try out academy youngsters like Jack Robinson and John Flanagan in games like this, with really nothing tangible at stake for the club, why have an academy? This is September baseball time for Liverpool, empty the 40-man roster and see if you've got anything. I'd think Kenny Dalglish realizes this fact. These two guys in particular played most of the game last week and held mighty Arsenal scoreless for nearly 100 minutes. As for Birmingham, figure Brum Tug Tuggernaut stick around in the Prem if only because three teams are worse off then them. ... Liverpool 2, Birmingham City 0
* Aston Villa v. Stoke City -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Villa is now 10th, which is probably about right for a team with that much individual talent ... though apparently the toil of a relegation scrap put Gerard Houllier in the hospital, costing the French manager the rest of the season. Zut Alors! The declining health of Houllier opens up another set of questions for Villa, which already had to worry about who's sticking around for next season, already. Who stays for the 2011-12 season is open to debate, with Ashley Young and Stewart Downing probably on the wish list for bigger fish. Stoke probably need one more win to finally put any relegation fears to rest and focus completely on the FA Cup final in May. Question, here which of these two clubs are better poised to make a move up the table long term? You might have to say Stoke. Wouldn't Charlie Adam be a perfect fit in Tony Pulis' midfield? ... Aston Villa 2, Stoke City 0
* Blackpool v. Newcastle United -- Pity for Blackpool, turning from tangerines into pumpkins at the wrong time. Without question, Joey Barton has the most relevant haircut in the Premier League. His buzzcut has a lot of buzz. ... Blackpool 2, Newcastle United 2
* Sunderland v. Wigan Athletic -- Nine times out of 10, you'd think Wigan Athletic coming to town would be a good thing. If we've learned anything, Wigan seem to relish the spoiler role and would certainly love to heap more misery on Sunderland, which simply can't do anything right at the moment. Steve Bruce, formerly of Wigan, has been the master of the mid-season transfer or loan. He seems to have struck out with Sulley Muntari. Danny Welbeck is back giving some hope for the Black Cats who seem poised to go back to square one even if they avoid the drop. ... Sunderland 1, Wigan Athletic 0
* Chelsea v. West Ham United -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) In August, almost everyone might have said Flourent Malouda was the front runner for the Player of the Year awards, as he carried his sterling play from the spring of 2010 into the new season. And then ... the Frenchman seemed to personify Chelsea's midseason funk. Malouda might be back to that early-season dangerman, as he's scored three in his last three Premier League games, doing his thing on the left wing. It seems like when Malouda and Soloman Kalou are on form, Chelsea are tough to beat, regarldess of whether its Didier Drogba or Fernando Torres in the middle, though when Carlo Ancelotti tries to play both strikes, it moves Malouda further from his dangerous position up the field. Not to start sounding like Werner Herzog and making bets about eating shoes, but I'd consider something that outrageous if West Ham went to Stamford Bridge and came away with a win. Consider it. ... Chelsea 4, West Ham 1
Sunday:
* Bolton v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Is Bolton about to unravel? 5-0 in the FA Cup semifinal to Stoke City? That's pretty piss poor. But would you have have your team embarrassed in one 90 minute span, or on a weekly basis, which seems to be the case at Arsenal? Bolton can get some redemption for the FA Cup flameout by almost assuredly ending the Gunners hopes with a win at the Reebok Stadium. Arsenal? Not a lot left to say at this point. The Gunners, not too long ago, were known as the Invincibles. Now they Inevitables. Still think with Robin van Persie and Theo Walcott in form, Gunners extend their fans agony for another week. ... Bolton 1, Arsenal 2
Monday:
* Blackburn Rovers v. Manchester City -- In short, the lesson here, chicken bucks < oil bucks. ... Blackburn Rovers 1, Manchester City 3
Last round: 1-2
Season: 138-187
Labels: England, EPL, Prem Picks, Premier League, Soccer
"It's nevah you, Jim." -- Mike Francesa, WFAN host/sports talk radio icon.
Highly recommend clicking on that link. Not sure who's got the more unassailable ego, in their own mind at least, Francesa or Arsene Wenger? Both are two men who've never admitted they've made a mistake, earning the respective nicknames of the Sports Pope and the Professor.
In a recurring theme in 2011, Arsenal yet again couldn't seal the deal in a surreal 1-1 draw with Liverpool at the Emirates, featuring each team converting a penalty deep into the longest stoppage time you'll probably ever see, 12 minutes.
Arsenal gagged away its chance to keep its nominal pursuit of Manchester United, even when given a lifeline from the otherwise excellent Jay Spearing and referee Andre Mariner in the 96th minute when Cesc Fabregas was tackled inside the box -- going down very easy to sell the call, mind you. Robin van Persie's "sure"(*) winner was offset on the other end on a wild sequence, started by a foul on the edge of the area on Luis Suarez, followed by a loose ball foul of Lucas inside the area by Emmanuel Eboue. Goonies never say die, Dirk Kuyt converted and Arsenal again had egg on its face.
(*) If I only had a penny farthing for every time one of the EPL Brit announcers declares a match "surely" over only for something crazy to happen at the other end ...
This wasn't the fault of the much-maligned Arsenal defensive core. And, yes, this was a bizarre once-in-a-lifetime ending. Does it look weird to announce an already-whopping eight minutes of stoppage time -- mainly due to Jamie Carragher being knocked out cold -- and see Liverpool equalize from the spot with 102 showing on the clock? Sure, but it's at the ref's discretion.
All things being equal a draw was the fair result for the majority of the 90-odd minutes of actual action.
Still, Arsenal just don't have it in their DNA to find a way to win. There's always something.
Wenger likes to promote this, too. There's nothing wrong with Wenger's youth policy or low-budget transfer policy. What's disquieting is the constant blame of the refs or the opposing teams tactics, the weather, the pitch, the alignment of the planet Jupiter.
That's why it probably brought a smile to every non-Arsenal fan's face to see Kenny Dalglish to blow off Wenger when he struck his "Christ the Redeemer" pose on the touchline. What was Liverpool supposed to do? Down to the bare bones, youth academy defenders, Liverpool hung tough as Carragher and Fabio Aurelio each limped off. Was, at some point, Liverpool simply supposed to lay down and cordially hand Arsenal the three points?
There's no accountability and way too much coddling at the Emirates.
And if Barcelona comes calling for Cesc Fabregas, let him go while his value is still high.
Real, Soccer:
Vis-a-vis my informal, observational take on the ongoing "soccer as a popular sport" in the American consciousness, here's the worldwide events that hold relevance to most stateside fans:
* The World Cup
* The U.S. National Team, mostly games against Mexico or high-profile friendlies.
* The Premier League
* The Champions League
* Real Madrid/Barcelona
Those are the soccer events that move the proverbial needle in the America.
For the next two weeks, that last item is the most important as kids in coffee shops were streaming the game on Saturday, regardless if the only thing they know about Franco's fascist regime was the Clash song, "Spanish Bombs."
Not much to say about the 1-1 draw between, apparently, the only two teams in continental European soccer that matter, considering the two-horse La Liga race was already all but determined before the match.
My hope is when the dust settles after the Copa del Rey and two-leg Champions League semifinal there's some memorable moments beyond Ray Hudson's disinterest in statistics.
FA Cupping:
One of those soccer events that's not exactly big-time relevant is the FA Cup. I've discussed this thought in this space plenty of times. The value the FA Cup still retains is its place as an English institution, which can tie together multiple generations and century's of soccer. It's hard for this to translate across the Atlantic, much like the pomp and circumstance of most NCAA sports don't exactly fly outside the States, beyond the built-in gambling aspects.
This weekend the FA Cup semifinals felt like a big dud. On the one hand, Saturday you had a dream matchup of Manchester United and Manchester City, with storylines a plenty. Old money vs. nouveau riche. United seeking the treble. City shooting for a trophy -- any trophy. Roberto Mancini's job security. Star, marquee players on both sides, even with the top-billed coverboys, Wayne Rooney and Carlos Tevez on the bench for various reasons.
Instead this game boiled down to four things:
* A bad pass in his own defensive zone from Michael Carrick, the proverbial little girl with the curl, if there ever was one.
* A solid finish by Yaya Toure.
* Paul Scholes studs up Liu Kang from "Mortal Kombat" finishing kick on Pablo Zabaleta, which resulted in a warranted red card.
* Rio Ferdinand trying to choke out Mario Balotelli after the game ended.
Once again, to use a strained (frankly strange) metaphor, United showed that they're not quite the natural beauty they once were, where they could step out and win hearts without much effort. The Red Devils need a little more makeup, or to wear flattering clothing to resemble the knockout of years past. Saturday, Sir Alex Ferguson's eye for fashion failed him.
With Rooney reduced to wearing a tie in the stands and with Dimitar Berbatov fluffing two easy chances, United didn't have anything much in the tank after the first 10-odd minutes. But of course the irony is, United might have nominally been seeking the "treble", but the FA Cup is a distant third in priority compared with the Premier League and Champions League. United didn't field a poor lineup, but the Red Devils never found that extra gear to beg, borrow or steal a result.
City, to their credit, did what they do, pouncing on a goal and then playing solid defense, with both Toure and Vincent Kompany bossing around their areas on the field. What made this tough was that City aren't exactly the plucky underdogs to United any more. I fully respect the hardy, passionate, long-suffering City fans, who try to bill themselves as more "authentic" than their United counterparts. These folks deserve a Cup final.
Yes, even the Gallagher Bros.
The actual City team? A collection of high-priced mercenaries ... and Jolean Lescott, who like Roger Dorn is just high-priced, aren't exactly readily lovable. Admittedly, it's not a player or team's job to exude a high Q-rating, or find a place in our hearts, but City ranges from the dull -- Gareth Barry -- to the crazy -- Balotelli -- to the patently unlikeable -- Nigel de Jong. Throw in their oil-rich tycoon owners and City sort of exists in their own sterile bubble.
And with Stoke City thrashing Bolton 5-0 in the other semifinal, the FA Cup final in May will be pit two teams that will be difficult to embrace. The Potters are the underdog, but since they don't try to play like Barcelona with a tika-taka style, they are almost universally reviled by the media. In my eyes, Stoke should be lauded for doing things their way -- albeit the dreaded, not cool "Route One" soccer -- and playing into a Cup final.
Results are results and now Stoke is 90 minutes away from it's first trophy in over 40 years.
If anything, I've always appreciated the work of Matthew Etherington. Fortunately his return trip to the FA Cup Final cannot be ruined by an extra time Steven Gerrard Thunderbolt.
PFAs are banned:
This is coming from a guy who coined the term, "Gareth Christ," but there's no way Gareth Bale is the best player in the 2010-11 Premier League. None.
As discussed last week, when guys like Luka Modric and Nani weren't even eligible for the award, while a guy like Berbatov was, well, it's a foolish award. This PFA nonsense probably carries more weight in England anyway so it's not worth fretting over. Getting upset over the folly of this award is like working yourself into a lather over who makes the Pro Bowl. It seems to be a blatant popularity contest.
More importantly, why does the PFA pick it's Player of the Year and team with five or six games left for teams to play? Would it be that hard to release a team at the end of May?
I'll reserve my best XI for when we've got the whole body of evidence to look at.
Around the League:
It's become abundantly clear, when the apocalypse finally arrives all that will remain on the scorched Earth will be cockroaches and Wigan Athletic. The Latics won away to Blackpool and are now out of the bottom three. Good job by Roberto Martinez to get a result from a team which could have easily rolled over and played dead the rest of the way. ... Another weekend, another win for David Moyes' Everton, which sit two points behind rival Liverpool. Remember when both these teams were in crisis? ... Probably time to put the idea of Aston Villa getting relegated to bed, after their 2-1 road win at West Ham, with Gabby Agbonlahor scoring a late winner on a header thanks to some non-existent Hammers marking in front of goal. ... The bottom keeps falling out on Sunderland, which actually out-played Birmingham City, yet lost 2-0. The Black Cats welcome Wigan to the Stadium of Light on Saturday. ... Chelsea won 3-1 at West Brom, after going down 1-0 thanks to the unstoppable Peter Odemwingie. The one big thing here is that Didier Drogba looked lively and scored, furthering the question of who should be the Blues No. 1 striker going into 2012. ... Shocking performance by Bolton in the FA Cup loss to Stoke, as coach Owen Coyle and captain Kevin Davies questioned his team's effort. Coyle has done about everything right since coming to the Reebok Stadium and had a chance to win a major trophy. Now? He's back to square one, fighting for a Europa League spot thanks to the Premier League's glass ceiling.
Fantasy Team O' the week:
In an otherwise low-scoring week, Mark Chamber's Turtles take top honors with 81 points. Leighton Baines, Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba were the big point earners.
Midweek Madness:
* Newcastle United v. Manchester United -- (Tuesday, 2:45 p.m., ESPN2) If there's one thing Manchester United has done masterfully this season, it's been Ferguson juggling his lineup. Newcastle's lack of scoring options should allow him to rest Ferdinand and maybe Vidic. Figure Chicharito is again the hero here. ... Newcastle United 0, Manchester United 2
* Tottenham v. Arsenal -- (Wednesday, ESPN2, 2:45 p.m.) Oh, and this photo of Harry Redknapp is awesome. Does any more need to be said? Do Spurs have it in them to beat the Gunners in back-to-back seasons at the Lane? A win here pulls them even with Manchester City. Paging Danny Rose ... ... Spurs 2, Arsenal 1
* Chelsea v. Birmingham City -- (Wednesday, FSC, 2:30 p.m.) Hard to believe I read an AP report from the Chelsea/West Brom game that still mentioned the Blues as a title contender. Eight points with six to play? That's pushing it, fellas. ... Chelsea 3, Birmingham City 0
Last round: 2-6
Season: 136-185
One Other Thing:
New on the Netflix instant, "The Other Guys." Didn't think much of this movie, but the bizarre character Will Ferrell plays is worth the price of admission. If you're not in on Farrell, skip it, but otherwise it's worth 90 or so minutes of your time.
One Other Sports Thing:
Watched basically an entire NHL hockey game from start to finish for the first time in well over a decade on Friday.
In a weird way, it's actually fun to watch a sporting event where you have zero rooting interest, zero knowledge of the players, zero knowledge of strategy, etc. It's fun to be a layman, every now-and-then. One thing that struck me was the production of the NHL on Versus, which Fox Soccer Channel could learn a thing or two about, namely closed collars on their studio analysts.
First and foremost, unlike a sporting event televised by ESPN, the game came first on Versus. There wasn't a ticker on the bottom telling me what LeBron James ate for dinner. Nor did they cut away for "SportsCenter" in-game, to update who held the pole in a NASCAR race. It was just hockey and just the game going on. Refreshing.
And to my knowledge, a complete lack of Katy Perry ProActiv ads at
Labels: Arsenal, arsene wenger, EPL, manchester city, manchester United, Monday recaps, Soccer
Admittedly, this is probably 100 percent a contrarian, 20/20 hindsight judgment, 20 years after the fact opinion, but is "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana really that great a song? At least from a musical standpoint? If it came up on shuffle on your iProduct, would you listen all the way through it? Or even beyond the opening riff?
Culturally, it hath been decreed by music journalists and stuff like "Newsweek" magazine, basically since it first came out in 1991, that Kurt Cobain changed the course of pop culture. This opinion is almost unassailable. The history books will say that prior to this song every American teenager wore spandex tights and poofed out their hair like Vince Neil trying to have a good time, then upon the release of "Smells Like Teen Spirit," every switched to flannel and hating themselves.
Important song? Yes.
Great piece of aural/sonic composition? Not exactly.
Cobain would probably admit to the same thing, opting for a Pixies or South Youth or Melvins or some other bad of that ilk tune instead of listening to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" if given the choice.
You know who else we could ask his opinion on the year 1991?
Ryan Giggs, who won his first of consecutive PFA Young Player of the Year Awards for the 1991-92 season. Odds are Giggs was more of a New Order or Stone Roses fan (*) than Nirvana, or maybe some obscure Welsh band nobody in America has ever heard about.
(*) This is a somewhat interesting, though totally meaningless thought, what would Giggs listen to in 1991, or in 2011? No effin clue. Gregorian Chants, maybe?
Suffice to say, 1991 is a long time ago. It never ceases to amaze that all these years later Giggs is still doing his thing for Manchester United. He's like a late night "Seinfeld" rerun, timeless.
Two decades at the same club, without any major dips in form? Love Manchester United or not, that's getting the job done. Since the 1991-92 season he's played in at least 24 Premier League matches, scoring in every year. Winger, left back, withdrawn striker or even central midfielder as we saw Tuesday vs. Chelsea in the Champions League, Giggs just goes out there and plays.
Now this slobbering over a 37-year-old with ridiculously thick chest hair probably seems out of place. True enough, but look at it this way, if you like the sport of soccer how can you dislike or at least not appreciate what a player like Giggs has brought to the table. Even an ardent Manchester United hater would at least find some decency in the often dazzling and always consistent play of Giggs, right?
Unlike the other players of his generations he's forever linked with, Giggs wasn't a dirty tackler like Paul Scholes, or a hair-product hawking pretty boy like David Beckham or an troll monster like Gary Neville. You don't have to like him, but it's hard to find a reason to hate Giggs, either. Gun to my head I'd have a tough time saying any nice things about the New York Yankees, but I'd concede that Derek Jeter is a player I wouldn't mind having on my team, well, the pre-2010 Jeter anyway.
A couple years ago, when the Champions League was still on ESPN, commentator/friend of the site "30f" would joke how announcers Derek Rae and Tommy Smyth would speak in hushed tones and a general reverence toward Giggs the same way most NFL announcers turned into giddy teenagers when Brett Favre, "threw the ol' ball around." Since Giggs has never, that we know, texted pictures of his junk to Manchester United team employees, we'd have to give the advantage to the so-called Welsh Wizard, who's image has basically remained untarnished.
Dong jokes aside, 21 years and 870 matches at the same club is something we probably won't see ever again. You don't have to like it, simply appreciate the achievement this weekend when Manchester United plays Manchester City in the FA Cup semifinals.
Or don't.
Twenty years from now they'll be some jerk on his blog, or whatever the form evolves into two decades from now -- probably some sort of group-think mind meld -- complaining how retroactively Giggs really wasn't all that good after all.
Timbbbbbbbeeeeeer:
Congrats to the Portland Timbers for making their home debut in MLS Thursday night in rainy Rip/Rose City. Never mind the fact the club previously existed and had played many games on that same ground in a previous incarnation. Guess it does make some sense for a city that likes to call itself Soccer City USA to, in fact, have an MLS franchise to call its own.
One thing Merrit Paulsen and the owners of the franchise did right, turning the former PGE Park into Jeld-Wen Field was keep it small. With under 20,000 seats the place remains, "atmospheric."(*) With the low, covered terraces, it does create a booming wall of sound that came across strong on television and made me think of the Bundesliga, sans ads for Jack Wolfskin. It helped, too, that the Timbers previously existed in the lower American non-MLS leagues, so they had built-in fans and more importantly, a club culture, which I first discovered myself sometime in 2006 and became Internet amigos with one of their leaders, my friend Rich, who even bought me a Timbers shirt.
(*) Used this tv-critics term to described AMC's "The Killing" to a leery friend, who eventually got mesmerized by the show, too. Suffice to say, with the amount of rain and fog at the Timbers game and on the show, which is set in Seattle, is probably why I had Nirvana on my mind.
My one cynical question, as a person who is fascinated by the way we consume media, were the people who tuned in at 11 p.m. on ESPN2 to watch the Timbers home debut against the Chicago Fire (could you try harder to form a more nondescript team?) watching for the game itself or the flag-waving, constantly chanting crowd? More specifically for the "atmosphere"?
A regular season, nationally televised MLS game usually doesn't do a lot to excite the average American sports fan, does it? But when you give a rowdy, alt-themed, beard-sporting crowd plenty of air time set to a misty, foggy backdrop under the lights(*) it suddenly becomes compelling television, never more than when the 18,000 strong Portlandia-ers sung the National Anthem.
(*) Aren't most soccer games, regardless of the league, much more compelling on television when played at night?
Good job by the Timbers fans, too, in this regard. There did seem to be some genuine affection and love for the hometown team in the crowd. There were scarves, flags and even a pre-kickoff tifo, as opposed to a bunch of liquored-up 20-somethings in Green Man costumes trying to mug for the ESPN cameras. Leave it to that alt-mecca of Portland, right? Let's see them keep up this display of love on a non-nationally televised game with Chivas USA in May.
Oh, and a dude -- Timber Jim -- using his chainsaw to slice a ring of wood off a log after a goal isn't something you usually see either, at least compared to Kenny Cooper's non-existent first touch -- a very common MLS commodity.
Guess MLS will have to live with the crowd being almost more exciting than the game, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Cool night for the Timbers though. Even a jerk like myself can't help my have my blackened heart grow a size or two watching that level of passion.
Saturday:
* Blackpool v. Wigan Athletic -- As much as I've enjoyed the work of Charlie Adam this season, is there any doubt when he moves on to a bigger club he's swallowed up? Then again, the perfect spot for him is becoming Tottenham. He can simply play their League games and save someone's legs for Europe. It seemed laughable in Janaury, but makes all the more sense now, as Spurs could use that rugged game general on a week-in, week-out basis and save some of their skilled show ponies for when it matters, allowing Adam to do the dirty work against the Stoke Citys of the world. It's win/win for both sides. Blackpool can't afford to keep him another year anyway, no disrespect. Tangerines have the feel good vibe and probably want to give a win to the hometown fans. Wigan won't go down easy, especially since they lost on opening day to this very team. ... Blackpool 3, Wigan 2
* West Ham United v. Aston Villa -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Something has to give here, in a game that will feature two sets of nervous fans wearing claret and blue. Not sure Aston Villa will have it's peddle to the proverbial metal after a win last week. ... West Ham 2, Aston Villa 1
* West Bromwich Albion v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Until the axe falls on Chelsea boss Carlo Ancelotti, it seems silly to talk about the Blues. Changes are coming, but who's in charge at Stamford Bridge? Roman Abramovich must've hung out with Jerry Jones on a wild, night in Dallas or something because he's not a director of football or a manger, as evidenced by the Fernando Torres situation. This will only get messier. ... West Brom 1, Chelsea 1
* Everton v. Blackburn Rovers -- Toffees keep finding a way. Now can Blackburn find its way out of being relegated with captain Ryan Nelsen out for the season? ... Everton 1, Blackburn 0
* Birmingham City v. Sunderland -- If you fetish-ize relegation six-pointers, it doesn't get much better than this, with two sputtering teams reeking of desperation. ... Birmingham City 1, Sunderland 1
* Bonus: FA Cup Semifinal: Manchester City v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, noon) No Wayne Rooney or Carlos Tevez, so where does that leave us? City should have a better, more rested lineup available, but considering the usually rudderless, leader-less way which the club plays, does it matter? United are the other way, they expect to win, though this game it would seem they're due for a letdown, right? Just like Mario Balotelli seems even money to either get sent off within five minutes or score a golazo. Also, the happiest man in the world about Fernando Torres struggles? Edin Dzeko, since the invisible Bosnian has hardly been a headline for his slow adaptation to English football. Bet against Sir Alex at your own peril. ... City 1, United 2
Sunday:
* Arsenal v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Weird to think this game could be played wihtout Cesc Fabregas (possibly) and Steven Gerrard (definitely). Is the Premier League tactically moving away from that hard-charging, high-flying two-way midfielders, which seemed to the driving force the last couple years? Seems that way. From a common sense standpoint, pinning your teams fortunes on one or two standout players seems to be falling out of vogue. Overall squad depth and or at least having a Plan B when those players invariably pick up a leg injury or knock. Liverpool aren't better without Gerrard on the field, but it bears watching where he fits into the system Kenny Dalglish is now molding. ... Arsenal 1, Liverpool 1
* Bonus: FA Cup semifinal: Bolton v. Stoke City (Live, FSC+, 11 a.m.) Shame Stuart Holden isn't playing in this one. General logic tells you Bolton is a better side in open play, but Stoke can be dangerous on set pieces. Hate to use this cliche, but it might come down to which team grinds it out and wants
Last round: 4-6
Season: 134-179
Labels: English Premier League, Prem Picks, Soccer
Another weekend, another step closer to the title for Manchester United.
Nominally Arsenal is still technically alive, by virtue of keeping pace with United via a 3-1 away win at Blackpool. The Gunners aren't totally dead, chasing seven points with a game-in-hand AND a match against United.
United aren't a world-beating collection of stars who take your breath away every time they set foot on the field, but -- remind me if you've heard this again -- but this team goes about business and pockets three points. Saturday at sunny, warm Old Trafford against Fulham was the 2011 United "A" game.. United got on the board early, with Nani setting up Dimitar Berbatov and that was about that, cruising to a forgettable win on its parade route to the title.
Three more points with a starting lineup featuring the new Old Trafford whipping boy, Darron Gibson, no less.
About the only thing worth nothing about United is that it's best player across the span of the season -- Nani -- isn't even in contention of the Premier League PFA Awards.(*) Like him or not, the little guys scissoring, incisive runs have been the fulcrum of United's offense this year. It's hard to fathom his peers didn't deem him even worthy of the shortlist of finalists for the award. United certainly haven't been a one-man show, more a collective will to grind out points, but Nani is the key offensive cog, which is worth some kind of postseason platitudes, right?
(*) Rafael van der Vaart's had a huge impact on Spurs, but not nearly as consistent or for as long a time as Nani. The Dutchman, though made the PFA final ballot. Weird how perceptions work.
Unless you want to count Berbatov, who leads the Premier League with 20 goals. The oddity about the Bulgarian is scored 11 of those goals in three games, with hat tricks vs. Liverpool and Birmingham City to go along with a five-goal blitz against Blackburn. Is this even a good season for the Bulgarian, who seemed to have been surpassed by Chicharito in the pecking order in recent weeks? Better yet, is there a proper way to evaluate Berbatov's contribution? Or is he always going to leave people wanting more. Should a goal-scorer need to do more, across more games and more minutes of a particular game to be labeled effective?
This might go back to my question of who the best player in the league is this season? If you go by goal-scoring chart, you'd be even more confused. Carlos Tevez (19), Darren Bent (13), Kevin Nolan (12), Andy Carroll (11), Chicharito (11) and Peter Odemwingie (11) are all having good years, but the best of the best?
Maybe it goes to show in a sport as devoid of statistics like soccer, relying on goals isn't the best route to take in determining worth.
Relegation winners and Losers:
* Winner -- Aston Villa: Got a feel-good win, with backroom saboteur/leader James Collins scoring the game-winner vs. Newcastle United. Villa aren't out of the woods yet, but a five-point cushion should be enough. Most important, Villa stopped the negative, self-perpetuating self-loathing cycle that seemed to grasp the club, putting a bulls eye on manager Gerard Houllier.
* Loser -- Sunderland: The desperation index, crisis cloud moves north to the Stadium of Light. The Black Cats coughed up a lead, pissed away a draw and lost 3-2 at home to West Brom, which brought a massive traveling section to watch Paul Scharner's late winner. Sunderland are swirling down the drain and Steve Bruce doesn't seem to know what to do to pull out of the skid.
* Winner -- West Brom: Face rubs all around for Woys' Boys. Odemwingie is moving up the ranks as unheralded signing of the season. Thanks for something Roberto di Matteo.
* Losers -- West Ham and Wolves: Both 3-0 losers, look more and more likely to go down, though Blackpool's loss to Arsenal Sunday gives a little hope for one of the two to escape.
#JustSayin:
Maybe we ought to consider flying Ted Koppel over to England. The veteran broadcaster can rely on his experience from the Iran Hostage Crisis to the current, most important cause celebre in the world: Fernando Torres Watch.
Since moving the Chelsea, as documented, the Spanish striker is 0-for-10 in games for Chelsea finding the net. It seems the level of vitriol from just about anyone with access to a keyboard has gotten so rancorous that a slightly improved performance in Chelsea's 1-0 win over Wigan, including a great save to deny Torres by Ali Al-Habsi is now cause for celebration.
Put it this way, if hating Torres in a Chelsea shirt is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Oh, in a delicious slice of coincidence, the man Chelsea moved off its roster to make room for the misfiring ex-Liverpool man is Daniel Sturridge. It's certainly an apples-to-oranges comparison, but Sturridge has scored eight goals in six matches on loan at Bolton.
Just sayin'.
Look at this face:
Call me crazy or weird. Not a days goes by where it doesn't actually happen in real life, so don't feel too bad about it.
Somehow I find some sort of zen calm in the blank, jowl-ly expressions of Spurs' manager Harry Redknapp on the sidelines. The hangdog, hungover look never changes. Tottenham was up 3-1 on Stoke City and he looked about as thrilled as if he just left a screening of "The King's Speech."
Spurs, on the plus side, did at least keep it possibly interesting in the race for fourth place with Manchester City, which plays at Anfield against Liverpool later Monday. Spurs are are three back with a game-in-hand as well as a match with City in May. Who knows, a repeat of last year could happen.
Not sure what to make of Peter Crouch scoring twice against Stoke only a few days after one of the most brainless performances in recent memory, with his under-20-minute double yellow card display against Real Madrid in the Champions League. Crouch has an effective role with Spurs, but at this stage he should be a specialist off the bench, not a weekly starter.
Oh, and Luka Modric is really good. Like really, really good.
Mustache Rides in North London:
Don't see it being a huge deal that Stan Kroenke is launching a full takeover of Arsenal. Didn't this seem inevitable? The only issue here is debt, which I'm admittedly not qualified to break down. The Denver-based businessman says it won't be a problem, so there's that.
Arsenal, even with shortcomings on field with the money on the line, is in solid shape. The club has a massive new stadium to generate almost as much matchday revenue as any team on Earth. The Gunners have a global following and a braintrust that seems to know what its doing in Arsene Wenger and executive Ivan Gazidis.
During the week Wenger was quoted as being baffled by supporters would see a second-place finish as a disaster. In a way, Wenger is sort of right. Arsenal isn't spending a lot on new signings and still in position to maybe win the League. Problem is, with the collapse in the Carling Cup final and Champions League with the joint glaring errors of central defense and keeper continually cropping up, it seems like cold comfort and sour grapes to note Arsenal have allowed the third-fewest goals in the Prem this season, two fewer than first place United.
Keep that under your hat, Arsene.
You might not be spending a fortune, but you're also not winning when it matters either.
Doubt that changes with Kroenke in charge, though I'd pay for the down payment on a new Arsenal center back if a film crew flew Wenger to the United States and filmed him inside a Wal-Mart. That would be quality defined.
Thinking (on the edge) outside the box:
One area that would be a useful area of statistics for managers to analyze would be where on the field players draw fouls. There are definite "hot spots" from where free kicks are lethal, either as direct shots on goal or trying to find a teammates head. Are players being groomed to go to ground in areas? Are they smart enough to know this on their own? With the League as tight as it is, teams ought to be on the lookout for these target spots, offensively and defensively.
Around the League:
Can we petition for Everton to only play the second-half of seasons, or at least push the start back to Jan. 1 for the sanity of David Moyes? The Toffees are now 6-3-4 (W/L/D) in 2011, unbeaten in their last six. Winning an away game, even if it's Wolves with a starting central midfield of Phil Neville and Johnny Heitinga is quite the achievement for Moyes. ... Blackburn manager Steve Kean looks exactly like Dustin Pedroia, of the Boston Red Sox. ... Phil Bardsley scored a pretty nifty goal, taking a short pass from a dead ball, ripping it into the net. Great season for him. ... Mathew Etherington took the ball all the way from the halfway line and went into touch, beating Gomes. Very excellent run from a very useful player. ... Glad to see Tom Huddlestone, Danny Welbeck and Yossi Benayoun all return this weekend from injury. ... Jens Lehamn. 'Nuff said.
Fantasy Team O' the Week:
Rameez Raja's Escapists take top weekly honors with 84 points thanks to Robin van Persie, Nani, Peter Odemwingie and Berbatov. Very impressed with the title race for first, as the gap is two points between Martin A'nnul and Think Pink United.
One Other Thing:
Discovered this gem on Sunday. Audio and video aren't synced properly, but two of my favorite songs. Viva Ray Davies!
Also, for a television pick, AMC's "The Killing," has grown on me quickly. Solid show, which television critics would label "atmospheric." Plus it's got actress Michelle Forbes, who's trying to set a record for most one-hour dramas appeared in during a career.
Nominally Arsenal is still technically alive, by virtue of keeping pace with United via a 3-1 away win at Blackpool. The Gunners aren't totally dead, chasing seven points with a game-in-hand AND a match against United.
United aren't a world-beating collection of stars who take your breath away every time they set foot on the field, but -- remind me if you've heard this again -- but this team goes about business and pockets three points. Saturday at sunny, warm Old Trafford against Fulham was the 2011 United "A" game.. United got on the board early, with Nani setting up Dimitar Berbatov and that was about that, cruising to a forgettable win on its parade route to the title.
Three more points with a starting lineup featuring the new Old Trafford whipping boy, Darron Gibson, no less.
About the only thing worth nothing about United is that it's best player across the span of the season -- Nani -- isn't even in contention of the Premier League PFA Awards.(*) Like him or not, the little guys scissoring, incisive runs have been the fulcrum of United's offense this year. It's hard to fathom his peers didn't deem him even worthy of the shortlist of finalists for the award. United certainly haven't been a one-man show, more a collective will to grind out points, but Nani is the key offensive cog, which is worth some kind of postseason platitudes, right?
(*) Rafael van der Vaart's had a huge impact on Spurs, but not nearly as consistent or for as long a time as Nani. The Dutchman, though made the PFA final ballot. Weird how perceptions work.
Unless you want to count Berbatov, who leads the Premier League with 20 goals. The oddity about the Bulgarian is scored 11 of those goals in three games, with hat tricks vs. Liverpool and Birmingham City to go along with a five-goal blitz against Blackburn. Is this even a good season for the Bulgarian, who seemed to have been surpassed by Chicharito in the pecking order in recent weeks? Better yet, is there a proper way to evaluate Berbatov's contribution? Or is he always going to leave people wanting more. Should a goal-scorer need to do more, across more games and more minutes of a particular game to be labeled effective?
This might go back to my question of who the best player in the league is this season? If you go by goal-scoring chart, you'd be even more confused. Carlos Tevez (19), Darren Bent (13), Kevin Nolan (12), Andy Carroll (11), Chicharito (11) and Peter Odemwingie (11) are all having good years, but the best of the best?
Maybe it goes to show in a sport as devoid of statistics like soccer, relying on goals isn't the best route to take in determining worth.
Relegation winners and Losers:
* Winner -- Aston Villa: Got a feel-good win, with backroom saboteur/leader James Collins scoring the game-winner vs. Newcastle United. Villa aren't out of the woods yet, but a five-point cushion should be enough. Most important, Villa stopped the negative, self-perpetuating self-loathing cycle that seemed to grasp the club, putting a bulls eye on manager Gerard Houllier.
* Loser -- Sunderland: The desperation index, crisis cloud moves north to the Stadium of Light. The Black Cats coughed up a lead, pissed away a draw and lost 3-2 at home to West Brom, which brought a massive traveling section to watch Paul Scharner's late winner. Sunderland are swirling down the drain and Steve Bruce doesn't seem to know what to do to pull out of the skid.
* Winner -- West Brom: Face rubs all around for Woys' Boys. Odemwingie is moving up the ranks as unheralded signing of the season. Thanks for something Roberto di Matteo.
* Losers -- West Ham and Wolves: Both 3-0 losers, look more and more likely to go down, though Blackpool's loss to Arsenal Sunday gives a little hope for one of the two to escape.
#JustSayin:
Maybe we ought to consider flying Ted Koppel over to England. The veteran broadcaster can rely on his experience from the Iran Hostage Crisis to the current, most important cause celebre in the world: Fernando Torres Watch.
Since moving the Chelsea, as documented, the Spanish striker is 0-for-10 in games for Chelsea finding the net. It seems the level of vitriol from just about anyone with access to a keyboard has gotten so rancorous that a slightly improved performance in Chelsea's 1-0 win over Wigan, including a great save to deny Torres by Ali Al-Habsi is now cause for celebration.
Put it this way, if hating Torres in a Chelsea shirt is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Oh, in a delicious slice of coincidence, the man Chelsea moved off its roster to make room for the misfiring ex-Liverpool man is Daniel Sturridge. It's certainly an apples-to-oranges comparison, but Sturridge has scored eight goals in six matches on loan at Bolton.
Just sayin'.
Look at this face:
Call me crazy or weird. Not a days goes by where it doesn't actually happen in real life, so don't feel too bad about it.
Somehow I find some sort of zen calm in the blank, jowl-ly expressions of Spurs' manager Harry Redknapp on the sidelines. The hangdog, hungover look never changes. Tottenham was up 3-1 on Stoke City and he looked about as thrilled as if he just left a screening of "The King's Speech."
Spurs, on the plus side, did at least keep it possibly interesting in the race for fourth place with Manchester City, which plays at Anfield against Liverpool later Monday. Spurs are are three back with a game-in-hand as well as a match with City in May. Who knows, a repeat of last year could happen.
Not sure what to make of Peter Crouch scoring twice against Stoke only a few days after one of the most brainless performances in recent memory, with his under-20-minute double yellow card display against Real Madrid in the Champions League. Crouch has an effective role with Spurs, but at this stage he should be a specialist off the bench, not a weekly starter.
Oh, and Luka Modric is really good. Like really, really good.
Mustache Rides in North London:
Don't see it being a huge deal that Stan Kroenke is launching a full takeover of Arsenal. Didn't this seem inevitable? The only issue here is debt, which I'm admittedly not qualified to break down. The Denver-based businessman says it won't be a problem, so there's that.
Arsenal, even with shortcomings on field with the money on the line, is in solid shape. The club has a massive new stadium to generate almost as much matchday revenue as any team on Earth. The Gunners have a global following and a braintrust that seems to know what its doing in Arsene Wenger and executive Ivan Gazidis.
During the week Wenger was quoted as being baffled by supporters would see a second-place finish as a disaster. In a way, Wenger is sort of right. Arsenal isn't spending a lot on new signings and still in position to maybe win the League. Problem is, with the collapse in the Carling Cup final and Champions League with the joint glaring errors of central defense and keeper continually cropping up, it seems like cold comfort and sour grapes to note Arsenal have allowed the third-fewest goals in the Prem this season, two fewer than first place United.
Keep that under your hat, Arsene.
You might not be spending a fortune, but you're also not winning when it matters either.
Doubt that changes with Kroenke in charge, though I'd pay for the down payment on a new Arsenal center back if a film crew flew Wenger to the United States and filmed him inside a Wal-Mart. That would be quality defined.
Thinking (on the edge) outside the box:
One area that would be a useful area of statistics for managers to analyze would be where on the field players draw fouls. There are definite "hot spots" from where free kicks are lethal, either as direct shots on goal or trying to find a teammates head. Are players being groomed to go to ground in areas? Are they smart enough to know this on their own? With the League as tight as it is, teams ought to be on the lookout for these target spots, offensively and defensively.
Around the League:
Can we petition for Everton to only play the second-half of seasons, or at least push the start back to Jan. 1 for the sanity of David Moyes? The Toffees are now 6-3-4 (W/L/D) in 2011, unbeaten in their last six. Winning an away game, even if it's Wolves with a starting central midfield of Phil Neville and Johnny Heitinga is quite the achievement for Moyes. ... Blackburn manager Steve Kean looks exactly like Dustin Pedroia, of the Boston Red Sox. ... Phil Bardsley scored a pretty nifty goal, taking a short pass from a dead ball, ripping it into the net. Great season for him. ... Mathew Etherington took the ball all the way from the halfway line and went into touch, beating Gomes. Very excellent run from a very useful player. ... Glad to see Tom Huddlestone, Danny Welbeck and Yossi Benayoun all return this weekend from injury. ... Jens Lehamn. 'Nuff said.
Fantasy Team O' the Week:
Rameez Raja's Escapists take top weekly honors with 84 points thanks to Robin van Persie, Nani, Peter Odemwingie and Berbatov. Very impressed with the title race for first, as the gap is two points between Martin A'nnul and Think Pink United.
One Other Thing:
Discovered this gem on Sunday. Audio and video aren't synced properly, but two of my favorite songs. Viva Ray Davies!
Also, for a television pick, AMC's "The Killing," has grown on me quickly. Solid show, which television critics would label "atmospheric." Plus it's got actress Michelle Forbes, who's trying to set a record for most one-hour dramas appeared in during a career.
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, Monday recaps, Soccer
"I'm going down. I'm going down, down, down. Down, down." -- Freddie King, "Going Down." 
Yes, I'm aware of the irony of using the theme song to "Eastbound and Down" to start off a post about relegation from the English Premier League, what with Kenny Powers moving to the top of the worldwide soccer-haters chart. Sue me, it's a cheap excuse to link to this.
As it stands, I finally found some time to dig deep in the massive, Texas Tornado-style, 11-team relegation fight in the Premier League. My question, is it better to have this many teams looking into the abyss, creating excitement in nearly every match between now and May 22? Or does too many teams make it too unruly and hard to figure out?
Teams must be asking themselves these questions, because unlike years past when the relegation pool was four or five teams -- including an readily identifiable anchor to the able -- there was a sense of winning a game or two would be enough to ensure safety and that massive sweet-cake money check from the (FUCKING WHAT) Premier League broadcast rights for another season. Now with some many teams in the mix, clubs might actually have to string together seven good weeks of soccer to avoid the trapdoor into the Championship.
However it shakes out, a team with quality to call itself Premier League level is going down. It also bears noting, that unlike this year when Newcastle United returned to the top flight with a ready-made, Prem-caliber team, there isn't a giant, sure-fire success waiting to come up from the Championship. Let's explore this battle to avoid relegation on a team-by-team basis, why not?
Newcastle United
Points: 39 Goal difference: +2
Remaining schedule: at Aston Villa; v. Manchester United; at Blackpool; at Liverpool; v. Birmingham City; at Chelsea; v. West Brom
Strengths: Collective team insanity, which seems to have created a tight-knit, "us-against-them" group. ... Goal scoring. Even without Andy Carroll the Magpies have found the net. All told, in League matches they've only been shutout six times. ... Would have to screw up mightily to fall into the drop zone with eight teams sandwiched below them. ... In Joey Barton, they have England's best midfielder. Just ask him.
Concerns: Leon Best is out for the season. ... The supposedly diehard Geordie Army has a tendency to turn on the home team at the slightest misfortune. One little mistake has the tendency to snowball in soccer's version of the Butterfly Effect.
Bottom line: Unlike some of the teams below them, Newcastle United have a persona -- think heel wrestler -- as well as a defined leader on the field in Kevin Nolan, though he'll miss the next two games after his 10th booking of the season. The schedule isn't easy but two more wins should see them to safety.
Fulham
Points: 38 Goal difference: +3
Remaining schedule: at Manchester United; at Wolves; vs. Bolton; at Sunderland; vs. Liverpool; at Birmingham City; vs. Arsenal
Strengths: Team unity and defined roles. ... Quality Premier League players in key spots like Mark Schwarzer, Brede Hangeland, Danny Murphy, Clint Dempsey and (finally) Bobby Zamora. ... Only seven of Fulham's results have been decided by more than one goal, so the team is always in games with the chance to nick a point.
Concerns: Fulham still isn't great away from Craven Cottage with one win and eight draws, and the road games remaining aren't against pushovers. ... Cottagers have fourth-worst scoring record in the league.
Bottom line: The bigger concern for Fulham might be a year or two down the road when the core of the team assembled under Roy Hodgson gets older and breaks apart. Still, Mark Hughes seems to have taken to the club, but need to integrate some fresher, more creative legs to avoid a more precarious position in the table in 2012.
Stoke City
Points: 38 Goal difference: -3
Remaining schedule: at Spurs; at Aston Villa; vs. Wolves; at Blackpool; vs. Arsenal; at Manchester City; vs. Wigan Athletic
Strengths: A direct, albeit unattractive, system that works for the team Tony Pulis has assembled. ... In John Carew, Kenwyne Jones, Jon Walters and Ricardo Fuller Stoke has more than one guy it relies on to score. ... Doubtful opponents relish playing against Ryan Shawcross and Robert Huth.
Concerns: Mathew Etherington seems to be wearing down. ... If Stoke loses to Bolton in the FA Cup semifinals, there could be a big letdown and league hangover.
Bottom line: Stoke seems to have entrenched its status as a top flight club. Eventually it'll hit a crossroads: stick with the system and players that work, or try for a little more ambition and attempt to find a way into the Europa League. Probably a question for next year.
Sunderland Points: 38 Goal difference: -9
Remaining schedule: vs. West Brom; at Birmingham City; vs. Wigan; vs. Fulham; at Bolton; vs. Wolves; at West Ham United
Strengths: Asamoah Gyan and Simon Mignolet are both solid and near the top at their positions. ... In theory, this roster has talent.
Concerns: Sunderland hasn't won since Jan. 22, turning Europa League dreams into relegation fears. ... The once-stout Black Cats defense has two clean sheets in 2011. ... Team probably peaked with its 3-0 win at Stamford Bridge in mid-November. ... A once potent attack of Gyan, Darren Bent and Danny Welbeck disappeared through a transfer and injury, leaving Sunderland searching for offense. Since beating Blackpool on Jan. 22, Sunderland is 0-6-1 (W/L/D) in games starting just a lone striker.
Bottom line: Sunderland is in a crisis and Steve Bruce doesn't seem to know how to pull out of the tailspin. Exacerbating issues, even if the club survives, seemingly half the team is made up of players on-loan, making 2011-12 another set of issues. The team needs to beat West Brom this weekend to avoid a massive "PANIC" flag to start flying over the Stadium of Light.
West Bromwich Albion
Points: 36 Goal difference: -14
Remaining schedule: at Sunderland; vs. Chelsea; at Spurs; vs. Aston Villa; at Wolves; vs. Everton; at Newcastle United
Strengths: By hook or by crook, the Baggies find a way to score with 43 -- seventh in the league. ... Bounced back from a five-game losing streak around Christmas time. ... Peter Odemwingie and now Carlos Vela have a knack for goals at the right time.
Concerns: How conservative will Roy Hodgson be down the stretch? Will he shoot for draws? ... I might be able to score on West Brom, with their defense. ... Scott Carson might be the worst keeper in the Prem.
Bottom line: No idea how West Brom isn't rooted at the bottom of the table at the moment with some of the beatings they've suffered. Still think this team isn't up to Premier League caliber, but I've been wrong about all things West Brom all season.
Blackburn Rovers
Points: 34 Goal difference: -12
Remaining schedule: vs. Birmingham City; at Everton; vs. Manchester City; vs. Bolton; at West Ham; vs. Manchester United; at Wolves
Strengths: At the very least, with Paul Robinson in goal and Ryan Nelsen and Chris Samba in defense, this team has players capable of a fight.
Concerns: Three wins under Steve Kean since he took over for Sam Allardyce in mid-December. ... What exactly is this team's personality? ... Who is scoring goals here?
Bottom line: Blackburn's new owners, Venky's, might want to set their sights on creating the best team the English League Championship has ever seen. I'm sure Kaka or Ronaldinho would want to play away games at Ipswich and Hull in the fall.
Birmingham City
Points: 34 (one game in hand) Goal difference: -12
Remaining schedule: at Blackburn; vs. Sunderland; at Chelsea; at Liverpool; vs. Wolves; at Newcastle United; vs. Fulham; at Spurs
Strengths: Despite given at least a week to prepare for a coming opponent, managers in the EPL can't figure out a way to stop the clattering 6-foot-8 frame of Nikola Zigic. ... Since they are old, fiery and from the British Isles, it's assumed guys like Stephen Carr, Barry Ferguson and Lee Bowyer have a sense of "fight" in them. ... Alex McLeish does know what he's doing, or at least a general clue. You have to hope he continues to play two strikers, since all seven of Birmingham's League wins have come with a striking pair up top.
Concerns: Unless you're giving a way a set piece in a dangerous spot, where is Birmingham going to score? ... Nothing has seemed to work for them consistently. ... The stout defense from last season is but a memory.
Bottom line: Birmingham City seems to have the most incentive to stick around another season in the Prem, since the club got a ticket into the Europa League by winning the Carling Cup. Too bad stunning win over Arsenal at Wembley seems more like a peak, instead of a jumping off point to bigger things for El Brum.
Aston Villa
Points: 34 Goal difference: -14
Remaining schedule: vs. Newcastle United; at West Ham; vs. Stoke City; at West Brom; vs. Wigan; at Arsenal; vs. Liverpool
Strengths: On paper, at least, a lot of talented, recognizable players.
Concerns: No sense of team. ... The backroom dissent amongst the veterans like Richard Dunne AND Brad Freidel. ... Gabriel Agbonlahor is living off his form from three years ago. ... Fans have turned against the manager. ... Players like Ashley Young know that if Villa does get relegated, they can move to a more lucrative or glamorous English club.
Bottom line: Aston Villa 2011 has a distinctly Newcastle United 2009 vibe. This team doesn't seem hungry and those running it seem to think because of it's lofty pedigree in the League system, they're too big to fail. Wait, haven't we see this constantly across all walks of life in the last three years, last but not least a soccer club?
Blackpool
Points: 33 Goal difference: -18
Remaining schedule: vs. Arsenal; vs. Wigan; vs. Newcastle United; vs. Stoke City; at Spurs; vs. Bolton; at Manchester United
Strengths: The lovability of Ian Holloway. ... A bunch of guys that have nothing to lose. ... Charlie Adam.
Concerns: When it gets tight and nervy, how does this team not fold and concede a goal? Bottom line: I'd like to see Blackpool survive this year, but if not this year ... ?
West Ham United
Points: 32 Goal difference: -15
Remaining schedule: at Bolton; vs. Aston Villa; at Chelsea; at Manchester City; vs. Blackburn; at Wigan; vs. Sunderland
Strengths: A decent array of healthy bodies. ... A sense they've turned the corner, with only two losses since February.
Concerns: Is karma going to come back to bite them, at least in the eyes of Sheffield United fans, for using Carlos Tevez to save them a few years back? ... Robert Green's penchant for a mistake. He's a good keeper, but he will make the gaffe that costs you. West Ham can't afford another one this season.
Bottom line: West Ham has talent to stay up, yes, but it took a long time to show. The club might be faced with the tough call if relegated. Bite the bullet, retain the current roster and shoot for an immediate bounce back in 2012 or sell assets when they have value. The buzzards will circle, though, and it will be tough to hang onto Scott Parker, Thomas Hitzlsperger, Mark Noble, James Tompkins and the rest of the core. Team needs to find results, now. Last three games on the calendar do lend to hope.
Wolverhampton
Points: 32 Goal difference: -17
Remaining schedule: vs. Everton; vs. Fulham; at Stoke City; at Birmingham City; vs. West Brom; at Sunderland; vs. Blackburn
Strengths: Unpredictability. ... An established 4-4-1-1 system. ... The ability to beat the top teams in the league.
Concerns: Kevin Doyle's injury might be a dealbreaker.
Bottom line: Wolves controls its own destiny, really. Mick McCarthy got results from his team against the best. Can he do it again against the worst?
Wigan Athletic
Points: 31 Goal difference: -22
Remaining schedule: vs. Chelsea; at Blackpool; at Sunderland; vs. Everton; at Aston Villa; vs. West Ham; at Stoke City
Strengths: A stadium nobody much likes to play at. ... Hugo Rodallega is a pest.
Concerns: Roberto Martinez is a nice guy, but he doesn't seem to be attempting anything to make this team better? ... But this group isn't very good, or allowed to be in the first place. ... Team doesn't have a goal-scoring threat.
Bottom line: Everyone probably wants to see Wigan relegated. That means it probably won't happen, even if it should since Wigan has flashed the bare minimum Premier League qualities this year.
* Wolves v. Everton -- (Live, 7:45 a.m., ESPN2) In Everton's never-ending search for more money, why not auction off spots on the Toffees bench to deep-pocketed fans? Last weekend against Aston Villa David Moyes fieled a seven-man bench without one single minute of Premier League experience, including the tongue-twisting Apostolos Vellios. ... Wolves 1, Everton 1
* Manchester United v. Fulham -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Bears mentioning, in Premier League games this year started by Rio Ferdinand, United is 9-0-6 (W/L/D). United have 14 wins and one draw in games at Old Trafford this season, while Fulham have one away win this year. It has been an unpredictable season, yes, but this would be a crazy result if United drop points. ... United 3, Fulham 1
* Sunderland v. West Bromwich Albion -- As mentioned above, Sunderland need some kind of result here. Steve Bruce has to pull the ripcord before the Black Cats hit terminal velocity in a freefall. ... Sunderland 2, West Brom 1
* Tottenham v. Stoke City -- Man, didn't Spurs season go from "Raiders of the Lost Arc" to "Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls" in the blink of an eye, or more specifically 90 minutes of out-and-out disaster at the Bernabeau in Madrid? That is unless you're Mr. Sunshine Ray Wilkins. Recommendation for Spurs, who now have basically nothing to play for barring a miracle at White Hart Lane in the return leg against Real Madrid -- STAY ON YOUR FEET. Alternately, could Peter Crouch have been any humanely dumber with his pair of yellow-card worthy slide tackles vs. Real Madrid? Wait, don't answer. This is the same guy that cheated on Abbey Clancy with a Spanish street walker, whom he probably wanted to visit after an early shower. ... Spurs 1, Stoke City 1
* Chelsea v. Wigan Athletic -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Rooting for Fernando Torres to fail is even more fun than when Homer gleefully wanted Flanders' Leftorium to fail. This website is genius, encapsulating all these warm and fuzzy feelings of failure. ... Chelsea 3, Wigan 0
* Blackburn Rovers v. Birmingham City -- This game seems either destined for the year's most boring 0-0 draw, or a crazy back-and-forth affair where neither side can hold their nerve. Probably a late winner here. ... Blackburn 1, Birmingham City 2
* Bolton v. West Ham United -- Bolton are one of the few teams in the league with next to nothing to play for. Will Owen Coyle have them motivated? Can West Ham recover from last week's second half meltdown against Manchester United? ... Bolton 1, West Ham 1
Sunday:
* Blackpool v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC+, 8:45 a.m.) It would be an appropriate final death blow to Arsenal, wouldn't it, to fall victim to Blackpool? Even Arsene Wenger would have a difficult time complaining about the way Ian Holloway has his team playing, even if the Tangerines early-season swashbuckling ways seem to have slowed down. Then again, there's always the WWI-trench level pitch at Bloomfield Road for Wenger to bemoan. Is there any way this match doesn't feature a goal-keeping blunder? ... Blackpool 2, Arsenal 4
* Aston Villa v. Newcastle United -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Newcastle won the reverse fixture 6-0 way back on Matchday two in August. A little bit has changed, huh? Darren Bent is with Aston Villa. Andy Carroll is gone. Both clubs have new managers. Villa really has no excuse not to win this game, with Kevin Nolan and Chieck Tiote both suspended for Newcastle. Even if it's from an Ashley Young penalty, Villa have to show some guts here. ... Aston Villa 2, Newcastle United 0
Monday:
* Liverpool v. Manchester City -- (Live, ESPN2, 3 p.m.) Steven Gerrard missing the rest of the season will be the biggest blessing in disguise for Liverpool, considering the Reds have nothing left to play for this season. The crippling lack of healthy bodies in defense at Anfield? That's another story. It is mildly interesting that Liverpool now feature players from the three South American countries that have won the World Cup: Lucas (Brazil), Maxi Rodriguez (Argentina) and Uruguay (Luis Suarez). City? A win here and spot No. 3 and an automatic Champions League berth seems all the more likelier. Hard to believe with all the money splashed around at Eastlands, the under-the-radar move for Adam Johnson from Middlesborough last January seems to be the most important. Even money that our pal Mario Balotelli does something stupid here. ... Liverpool 1, Manchester City 1
Last round: 6-4
Season: 130-173
Yes, I'm aware of the irony of using the theme song to "Eastbound and Down" to start off a post about relegation from the English Premier League, what with Kenny Powers moving to the top of the worldwide soccer-haters chart. Sue me, it's a cheap excuse to link to this.As it stands, I finally found some time to dig deep in the massive, Texas Tornado-style, 11-team relegation fight in the Premier League. My question, is it better to have this many teams looking into the abyss, creating excitement in nearly every match between now and May 22? Or does too many teams make it too unruly and hard to figure out?
Teams must be asking themselves these questions, because unlike years past when the relegation pool was four or five teams -- including an readily identifiable anchor to the able -- there was a sense of winning a game or two would be enough to ensure safety and that massive sweet-cake money check from the (FUCKING WHAT) Premier League broadcast rights for another season. Now with some many teams in the mix, clubs might actually have to string together seven good weeks of soccer to avoid the trapdoor into the Championship.
However it shakes out, a team with quality to call itself Premier League level is going down. It also bears noting, that unlike this year when Newcastle United returned to the top flight with a ready-made, Prem-caliber team, there isn't a giant, sure-fire success waiting to come up from the Championship. Let's explore this battle to avoid relegation on a team-by-team basis, why not?
Newcastle United
Points: 39 Goal difference: +2
Remaining schedule: at Aston Villa; v. Manchester United; at Blackpool; at Liverpool; v. Birmingham City; at Chelsea; v. West Brom
Strengths: Collective team insanity, which seems to have created a tight-knit, "us-against-them" group. ... Goal scoring. Even without Andy Carroll the Magpies have found the net. All told, in League matches they've only been shutout six times. ... Would have to screw up mightily to fall into the drop zone with eight teams sandwiched below them. ... In Joey Barton, they have England's best midfielder. Just ask him.
Concerns: Leon Best is out for the season. ... The supposedly diehard Geordie Army has a tendency to turn on the home team at the slightest misfortune. One little mistake has the tendency to snowball in soccer's version of the Butterfly Effect.
Bottom line: Unlike some of the teams below them, Newcastle United have a persona -- think heel wrestler -- as well as a defined leader on the field in Kevin Nolan, though he'll miss the next two games after his 10th booking of the season. The schedule isn't easy but two more wins should see them to safety.
Fulham
Points: 38 Goal difference: +3
Remaining schedule: at Manchester United; at Wolves; vs. Bolton; at Sunderland; vs. Liverpool; at Birmingham City; vs. Arsenal
Strengths: Team unity and defined roles. ... Quality Premier League players in key spots like Mark Schwarzer, Brede Hangeland, Danny Murphy, Clint Dempsey and (finally) Bobby Zamora. ... Only seven of Fulham's results have been decided by more than one goal, so the team is always in games with the chance to nick a point.
Concerns: Fulham still isn't great away from Craven Cottage with one win and eight draws, and the road games remaining aren't against pushovers. ... Cottagers have fourth-worst scoring record in the league.
Bottom line: The bigger concern for Fulham might be a year or two down the road when the core of the team assembled under Roy Hodgson gets older and breaks apart. Still, Mark Hughes seems to have taken to the club, but need to integrate some fresher, more creative legs to avoid a more precarious position in the table in 2012.
Stoke City
Points: 38 Goal difference: -3
Remaining schedule: at Spurs; at Aston Villa; vs. Wolves; at Blackpool; vs. Arsenal; at Manchester City; vs. Wigan Athletic
Strengths: A direct, albeit unattractive, system that works for the team Tony Pulis has assembled. ... In John Carew, Kenwyne Jones, Jon Walters and Ricardo Fuller Stoke has more than one guy it relies on to score. ... Doubtful opponents relish playing against Ryan Shawcross and Robert Huth.
Concerns: Mathew Etherington seems to be wearing down. ... If Stoke loses to Bolton in the FA Cup semifinals, there could be a big letdown and league hangover.
Bottom line: Stoke seems to have entrenched its status as a top flight club. Eventually it'll hit a crossroads: stick with the system and players that work, or try for a little more ambition and attempt to find a way into the Europa League. Probably a question for next year.
Sunderland Points: 38 Goal difference: -9
Remaining schedule: vs. West Brom; at Birmingham City; vs. Wigan; vs. Fulham; at Bolton; vs. Wolves; at West Ham United
Strengths: Asamoah Gyan and Simon Mignolet are both solid and near the top at their positions. ... In theory, this roster has talent.
Concerns: Sunderland hasn't won since Jan. 22, turning Europa League dreams into relegation fears. ... The once-stout Black Cats defense has two clean sheets in 2011. ... Team probably peaked with its 3-0 win at Stamford Bridge in mid-November. ... A once potent attack of Gyan, Darren Bent and Danny Welbeck disappeared through a transfer and injury, leaving Sunderland searching for offense. Since beating Blackpool on Jan. 22, Sunderland is 0-6-1 (W/L/D) in games starting just a lone striker.
Bottom line: Sunderland is in a crisis and Steve Bruce doesn't seem to know how to pull out of the tailspin. Exacerbating issues, even if the club survives, seemingly half the team is made up of players on-loan, making 2011-12 another set of issues. The team needs to beat West Brom this weekend to avoid a massive "PANIC" flag to start flying over the Stadium of Light.
West Bromwich Albion
Points: 36 Goal difference: -14
Remaining schedule: at Sunderland; vs. Chelsea; at Spurs; vs. Aston Villa; at Wolves; vs. Everton; at Newcastle United
Strengths: By hook or by crook, the Baggies find a way to score with 43 -- seventh in the league. ... Bounced back from a five-game losing streak around Christmas time. ... Peter Odemwingie and now Carlos Vela have a knack for goals at the right time.
Concerns: How conservative will Roy Hodgson be down the stretch? Will he shoot for draws? ... I might be able to score on West Brom, with their defense. ... Scott Carson might be the worst keeper in the Prem.
Bottom line: No idea how West Brom isn't rooted at the bottom of the table at the moment with some of the beatings they've suffered. Still think this team isn't up to Premier League caliber, but I've been wrong about all things West Brom all season.
Blackburn Rovers
Points: 34 Goal difference: -12
Remaining schedule: vs. Birmingham City; at Everton; vs. Manchester City; vs. Bolton; at West Ham; vs. Manchester United; at Wolves
Strengths: At the very least, with Paul Robinson in goal and Ryan Nelsen and Chris Samba in defense, this team has players capable of a fight.
Concerns: Three wins under Steve Kean since he took over for Sam Allardyce in mid-December. ... What exactly is this team's personality? ... Who is scoring goals here?
Bottom line: Blackburn's new owners, Venky's, might want to set their sights on creating the best team the English League Championship has ever seen. I'm sure Kaka or Ronaldinho would want to play away games at Ipswich and Hull in the fall.
Birmingham City
Points: 34 (one game in hand) Goal difference: -12
Remaining schedule: at Blackburn; vs. Sunderland; at Chelsea; at Liverpool; vs. Wolves; at Newcastle United; vs. Fulham; at Spurs
Strengths: Despite given at least a week to prepare for a coming opponent, managers in the EPL can't figure out a way to stop the clattering 6-foot-8 frame of Nikola Zigic. ... Since they are old, fiery and from the British Isles, it's assumed guys like Stephen Carr, Barry Ferguson and Lee Bowyer have a sense of "fight" in them. ... Alex McLeish does know what he's doing, or at least a general clue. You have to hope he continues to play two strikers, since all seven of Birmingham's League wins have come with a striking pair up top.
Concerns: Unless you're giving a way a set piece in a dangerous spot, where is Birmingham going to score? ... Nothing has seemed to work for them consistently. ... The stout defense from last season is but a memory.
Bottom line: Birmingham City seems to have the most incentive to stick around another season in the Prem, since the club got a ticket into the Europa League by winning the Carling Cup. Too bad stunning win over Arsenal at Wembley seems more like a peak, instead of a jumping off point to bigger things for El Brum.
Aston Villa
Points: 34 Goal difference: -14
Remaining schedule: vs. Newcastle United; at West Ham; vs. Stoke City; at West Brom; vs. Wigan; at Arsenal; vs. Liverpool
Strengths: On paper, at least, a lot of talented, recognizable players.
Concerns: No sense of team. ... The backroom dissent amongst the veterans like Richard Dunne AND Brad Freidel. ... Gabriel Agbonlahor is living off his form from three years ago. ... Fans have turned against the manager. ... Players like Ashley Young know that if Villa does get relegated, they can move to a more lucrative or glamorous English club.
Bottom line: Aston Villa 2011 has a distinctly Newcastle United 2009 vibe. This team doesn't seem hungry and those running it seem to think because of it's lofty pedigree in the League system, they're too big to fail. Wait, haven't we see this constantly across all walks of life in the last three years, last but not least a soccer club?
Blackpool
Points: 33 Goal difference: -18
Remaining schedule: vs. Arsenal; vs. Wigan; vs. Newcastle United; vs. Stoke City; at Spurs; vs. Bolton; at Manchester United
Strengths: The lovability of Ian Holloway. ... A bunch of guys that have nothing to lose. ... Charlie Adam.
Concerns: When it gets tight and nervy, how does this team not fold and concede a goal? Bottom line: I'd like to see Blackpool survive this year, but if not this year ... ?
West Ham United
Points: 32 Goal difference: -15
Remaining schedule: at Bolton; vs. Aston Villa; at Chelsea; at Manchester City; vs. Blackburn; at Wigan; vs. Sunderland
Strengths: A decent array of healthy bodies. ... A sense they've turned the corner, with only two losses since February.
Concerns: Is karma going to come back to bite them, at least in the eyes of Sheffield United fans, for using Carlos Tevez to save them a few years back? ... Robert Green's penchant for a mistake. He's a good keeper, but he will make the gaffe that costs you. West Ham can't afford another one this season.
Bottom line: West Ham has talent to stay up, yes, but it took a long time to show. The club might be faced with the tough call if relegated. Bite the bullet, retain the current roster and shoot for an immediate bounce back in 2012 or sell assets when they have value. The buzzards will circle, though, and it will be tough to hang onto Scott Parker, Thomas Hitzlsperger, Mark Noble, James Tompkins and the rest of the core. Team needs to find results, now. Last three games on the calendar do lend to hope.
Wolverhampton
Points: 32 Goal difference: -17
Remaining schedule: vs. Everton; vs. Fulham; at Stoke City; at Birmingham City; vs. West Brom; at Sunderland; vs. Blackburn
Strengths: Unpredictability. ... An established 4-4-1-1 system. ... The ability to beat the top teams in the league.
Concerns: Kevin Doyle's injury might be a dealbreaker.
Bottom line: Wolves controls its own destiny, really. Mick McCarthy got results from his team against the best. Can he do it again against the worst?
Wigan Athletic
Points: 31 Goal difference: -22
Remaining schedule: vs. Chelsea; at Blackpool; at Sunderland; vs. Everton; at Aston Villa; vs. West Ham; at Stoke City
Strengths: A stadium nobody much likes to play at. ... Hugo Rodallega is a pest.
Concerns: Roberto Martinez is a nice guy, but he doesn't seem to be attempting anything to make this team better? ... But this group isn't very good, or allowed to be in the first place. ... Team doesn't have a goal-scoring threat.
Bottom line: Everyone probably wants to see Wigan relegated. That means it probably won't happen, even if it should since Wigan has flashed the bare minimum Premier League qualities this year.
***
Two Other Things: 1. F@$* Off -- Whatdaya know? The English FA finally seems to have grown a pair, in the span of a month handing the most prestigious manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, in England a touchline ban and the Premier League's marquee player, Wayne Rooney, a two-game suspension for some salty language aimed into the worldwide broadcast cameras.
Is a two game suspension for Rooney screaming "Fuck" like an insane, unhinged lunatic into the television cameras fair, while leg-breakers like Nigel de Jong, Ryan Shawcross and Jonny Evans seem to skate? Maybe that's too much of an apples-to-oranges kind of comparison. I
t's good that the governing body in England at least is trying to keep it's star personalities within the basic confines of the game. Doubt this slap on the wrist will change Rooney all too much behavior-wise. He's like one of those out of control teens on "Maury" parodied by Cartman, "Whatever, I do what I want."
If there's any upside, Rooney being suspended for the FA Cup semifinals cuts down on the number of stories written about his possible dream move to Manchester City in the fall. That's a good thing.
2. Horrible, horrible, horrible -- The Champions League quarterfinals might have gotten solid ratings for Fox Soccer Channel this week, but they had about as much drama as an ad for MagicJack.com. The less said, the better.
Is a two game suspension for Rooney screaming "Fuck" like an insane, unhinged lunatic into the television cameras fair, while leg-breakers like Nigel de Jong, Ryan Shawcross and Jonny Evans seem to skate? Maybe that's too much of an apples-to-oranges kind of comparison. I
t's good that the governing body in England at least is trying to keep it's star personalities within the basic confines of the game. Doubt this slap on the wrist will change Rooney all too much behavior-wise. He's like one of those out of control teens on "Maury" parodied by Cartman, "Whatever, I do what I want."
If there's any upside, Rooney being suspended for the FA Cup semifinals cuts down on the number of stories written about his possible dream move to Manchester City in the fall. That's a good thing.
2. Horrible, horrible, horrible -- The Champions League quarterfinals might have gotten solid ratings for Fox Soccer Channel this week, but they had about as much drama as an ad for MagicJack.com. The less said, the better.
***
Saturday: * Wolves v. Everton -- (Live, 7:45 a.m., ESPN2) In Everton's never-ending search for more money, why not auction off spots on the Toffees bench to deep-pocketed fans? Last weekend against Aston Villa David Moyes fieled a seven-man bench without one single minute of Premier League experience, including the tongue-twisting Apostolos Vellios. ... Wolves 1, Everton 1
* Manchester United v. Fulham -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Bears mentioning, in Premier League games this year started by Rio Ferdinand, United is 9-0-6 (W/L/D). United have 14 wins and one draw in games at Old Trafford this season, while Fulham have one away win this year. It has been an unpredictable season, yes, but this would be a crazy result if United drop points. ... United 3, Fulham 1
* Sunderland v. West Bromwich Albion -- As mentioned above, Sunderland need some kind of result here. Steve Bruce has to pull the ripcord before the Black Cats hit terminal velocity in a freefall. ... Sunderland 2, West Brom 1
* Tottenham v. Stoke City -- Man, didn't Spurs season go from "Raiders of the Lost Arc" to "Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls" in the blink of an eye, or more specifically 90 minutes of out-and-out disaster at the Bernabeau in Madrid? That is unless you're Mr. Sunshine Ray Wilkins. Recommendation for Spurs, who now have basically nothing to play for barring a miracle at White Hart Lane in the return leg against Real Madrid -- STAY ON YOUR FEET. Alternately, could Peter Crouch have been any humanely dumber with his pair of yellow-card worthy slide tackles vs. Real Madrid? Wait, don't answer. This is the same guy that cheated on Abbey Clancy with a Spanish street walker, whom he probably wanted to visit after an early shower. ... Spurs 1, Stoke City 1
* Chelsea v. Wigan Athletic -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Rooting for Fernando Torres to fail is even more fun than when Homer gleefully wanted Flanders' Leftorium to fail. This website is genius, encapsulating all these warm and fuzzy feelings of failure. ... Chelsea 3, Wigan 0
* Blackburn Rovers v. Birmingham City -- This game seems either destined for the year's most boring 0-0 draw, or a crazy back-and-forth affair where neither side can hold their nerve. Probably a late winner here. ... Blackburn 1, Birmingham City 2
* Bolton v. West Ham United -- Bolton are one of the few teams in the league with next to nothing to play for. Will Owen Coyle have them motivated? Can West Ham recover from last week's second half meltdown against Manchester United? ... Bolton 1, West Ham 1
Sunday:
* Blackpool v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC+, 8:45 a.m.) It would be an appropriate final death blow to Arsenal, wouldn't it, to fall victim to Blackpool? Even Arsene Wenger would have a difficult time complaining about the way Ian Holloway has his team playing, even if the Tangerines early-season swashbuckling ways seem to have slowed down. Then again, there's always the WWI-trench level pitch at Bloomfield Road for Wenger to bemoan. Is there any way this match doesn't feature a goal-keeping blunder? ... Blackpool 2, Arsenal 4
* Aston Villa v. Newcastle United -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Newcastle won the reverse fixture 6-0 way back on Matchday two in August. A little bit has changed, huh? Darren Bent is with Aston Villa. Andy Carroll is gone. Both clubs have new managers. Villa really has no excuse not to win this game, with Kevin Nolan and Chieck Tiote both suspended for Newcastle. Even if it's from an Ashley Young penalty, Villa have to show some guts here. ... Aston Villa 2, Newcastle United 0
Monday:
* Liverpool v. Manchester City -- (Live, ESPN2, 3 p.m.) Steven Gerrard missing the rest of the season will be the biggest blessing in disguise for Liverpool, considering the Reds have nothing left to play for this season. The crippling lack of healthy bodies in defense at Anfield? That's another story. It is mildly interesting that Liverpool now feature players from the three South American countries that have won the World Cup: Lucas (Brazil), Maxi Rodriguez (Argentina) and Uruguay (Luis Suarez). City? A win here and spot No. 3 and an automatic Champions League berth seems all the more likelier. Hard to believe with all the money splashed around at Eastlands, the under-the-radar move for Adam Johnson from Middlesborough last January seems to be the most important. Even money that our pal Mario Balotelli does something stupid here. ... Liverpool 1, Manchester City 1
Last round: 6-4
Season: 130-173
Labels: English Premier League, Prem League, Prem Picks, Soccer
