That's On Point: The Web Site

No sense for preamble here, here are a couple thoughts after spending the afternoon pinned to the couch and watching my brain slowly ooze out of my skull watching Sky Sports News coverage of the European Transfer Window Deadline Day on Fox Soccer.

The good? The top worn by Natalie Sawyer.

The bad? Everything else.

At least Sky saved my sanity from kicking it over to Herm Edwards or Lou Holtz.

Though it did play the above video of Owen Hargreaves when going to commercial, which basically sums up the entire day perfectly.

* DON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN -- So much for that Clint Dempsey to Arsenal rumor that sprung up on Tuesday. Remember folks, there are few trustworthy voices when it comes to the transfer market. Most of it is unfounded rumors and white noise. As bad as the ESPN-ized journalists are in America, at least the WWL doesn't allow its reporters to write anything without confirmed sources. The English and global press has been proven scruple-less.

My long-standing policy is waiting until the deals are actually done. Case-in-point: the tedious Luka Modric saga.

* GUNNING AROUND -- Guess you have to give Arsene Wenger credit for finding a way to snare Mikel Arteta and Yossi Benayoun. The pair are clear downgrades from the departed Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri, yet they are comparable players from a skill/position standpoint meaning the Gunners won't necessarily have to retool their playing style on the fly.

I've long been an Arteta fan(*), but he hasn't been his sparkling best the last two-plus seasons. Still, he's a proven Premier League midfielder and in theory brings leadership to the Gunners midfield.

(*) As it is, Everton should be able to cope without Arteta. If Jack Rodwell is allegedly this future England star, might as well find out. Problem for Everton, the paltry $15 million-ish it got for the Spaniard is a drop in the bucket for the club's financial woes. But hey, chin up Farmer Jones -- Royston Drenthe! He was the start of the UEFA U-21 championships ... in 2007.

Six-foot-6 German international Per Mertesacker is an upgrade over Laurent Koscielny and obviously Sebastien Squilacci and Johan Djourou, that is until his first mistake. (Mertesacker's disciplinary record is suburb, however.) Park Chu-Young was probably worth a flier, but he's 26 and only scored in double-digits twice in his career. Andre Santos seems to have a terrible reputation from what I've read, though he's a "warmer" body than Carl Jenkinson.

I'd still worry, if Robin van Persie is isolated alone up top, where the goals are going to come from for Arsenal. Aside from the spot or the rare free kick, Arteta's best goal-producing days are probably in the past.

All-in-all, not a slam dunk of a day for Arsenal, but probably stabilizes the squad for the immediate future.

There wasn't a move (or two) Wenger could've made to narrow the gap instantly on Manchester United or Manchester City for the top of the Premier League, instead the Gunners are going to be left fighting for third or fourth place with Liverpool and Chelsea.

Reports of Wenger's death have been exaggerated, but don't expect anything other than a Cup in the trophy case any time soon.

* BLUE HEADACHE -- Not sure why Andre Villas-Boas would sell off Raul Merieles at Porto last summer and then add him a year later at Chelsea. If anything he's helped Liverpool remove a player from its crowded midfield, while creating a logjam in his at the same time.

It goes without saying Villas-Boas knows more than me, but now he's got two, maybe three issues a) the Torres-Drogba-Anelka-Sturridge traffic jam; b) the unbalanced midfield traffic jam and c) what to do with John Terry.

* PURE BEDLAM -- No matter what Liverpool did, it was a classic addition by subtraction by finding homes for David Ngog -- to Bolton! --, Joe Cole -- to Ligue 1!! -- and Christian Poulsen -- to a bottled water factory!!!. Hand it to John Henry and his Red Sox cronies, they didn't find one San Diego Padres (i.e. sucker), but three spread across the English Channel. Well-played. Pink hats for everybody!

On first thought Craig Bellamy opens up Dirk Kuyt to play closer to goal in a more traditional forward role. It also puts less of a reliance on Stewart Downing on the wing.

And it opens up a million bad golf club/karaoke jokes.

Meireles was maybe the only smart move Roy Hodgson made during his dreadful spell at Anfield. He's a solid player, but Liverpool can clearly -- with Jordan Henderson, Jonjo Shelvey, etc. in the mix -- survive without him and his tattoos.

* 'ARRY BEING 'ARRY -- My favorite part of Sky's coverage with a reporter basically stopping Harry Redknapp's car and interviewing him from the passenger seat asking him -- no lie -- if the rumor about Spurs signing Kaka was true.

Spurs, on the plus, grabbed Scott Parker -- the very definition of virtue in the modern cesspool that is Premier League soccer, or so the English writers would tell you. The one plus attribute for Parker, beside his near Knightly presence in the midfield, is consistency, meaning Tottenham won't have to worry on the fitness of Tom Huddlestone seemingly every week.

The best talent at Spurs, non defenders, are Gareth Bale, Rafael van der Vaart, Parker, Modric, Emmanuel Adebayor and .... ? This doesn't yield a very balanced team, especially with the continued dips in form from Jermain Defoe and Aaron Lennon. Perhaps another fifth or sixth place finish is easier said than done.

Tottenham shouldn't weep over the fact it didn't sign Gary Cahill. He's good, sure, but not a difference maker. If anything a season of Brad Freidel instead of Gomes makes the defense all that better.

At the very, very, very least Redknapp pawned off Wilson Palacios to Stoke City, where he should fit right in at home.

* STOKED, BRO -- Might as well mention Stoke, since Tony Pulis added Peter Crouch, Camerone Jerome. The Sky Sports pundits, namely Iain Dowie were over-the-moon over these moves.

Meh.

Proven Premier League players, who give the team depth, but are they enough to push Stoke up to the sixth place range where they can put some heat on Arsenal? Stoke are improved, but still miss that dynamic two-way midfield player.

We better get one Rory Delap long throw nodded in by Crouch or else we're all being cheated.

* SAD FACE -- Allan Hutton ended up leaving Spurs for Aston Villa. Probably doesn't bode well for the future of Eric Lichaj at Villa Park.

* QUICKIES -- Nic Bendtner to Sunderland? Might actually not be a terrible move. If the big (dumb) Dane gets regular playing time he should produce the goals. He fits the team better than Asamoah Gyan and did play alongside Seb Larsson when they were both on-loan from Arsenal at Birmingham; ... Shaun Wright-Phillips and Anton Ferdinand to QPR? Classic re-tread moves. Good luck with that. ... Regardless of how they pan out, credit Martin Jol for adding Bryan Ruiz and Zdeněk Grygera to a small, aging Fulham roster. ... Shaun Maloney has potential to be another sneaky good signing by Roberto Martinez at Wigan. Scott Dann to Blackburn was smart. Yakubu? Not so much. ... Notice which club was entirely quiet in the madness of the final day of the transfer window? Manchester United. Sure, when you're United you can pluck who you want away from clubs everywhere, but still, Sir Alex Ferguson -- love him or loathe him -- has a plan and knows what he's doing.

See you in January ...

Labels: Arsenal, arsene wenger, English Premier League, EPL, mikel arteta, sky sports, transfers

The key to writing in some sort of a journalistic fashion is *not* to write about yourself. That is, unless you want to write for Bill "Sportie" Simmons, Grantlandia. Interjecting personal opinions, sure, but making yourself the focus of something where it's me, me, MEEEEEEEEE gets grating. Gay Talese's, "Frank Sinatra Has a Cold," it is not.

Sorry folks, but have to interject a little me-ism in this Monday English Premier League wrap since, well, my humble little abode got smacked by Hurricane Irene knocking out the power to my house. More importantly the Internet. Sure I had my iPhone but the indignity of using the Edge Network was too much to bear.

So in place of my usual ramblings, a couple scattered thoughts.

* Listened to Arsenal/Manchester United on SiriusXM's satellite service with the game called by two-roundly pro-United guys, which made for an interesting experience.

* It's kind of remarkable that United is playing, through three Premier League games, with the free-flowing pomp it showed squishing MLS franchises over the summer -- build up some confidence vs. the loose, drunk, sorority sluts and then bring the A-game back across the pond and bag models and lady singers.

* Poor SAF, loses Danny Welbeck and *only* has Chicharito to bring in. Sucks to Manchester United, doesn't it?

* Oh Arsenal. Oh Arsene.

* 8-2 is alarming, but is an 0-1-2 start all that crazy for the Gunners? Especially with Liverpool and Manchester United two of Arsenal's first two opponents?

* That said, Monsieur Wenger, you're wearing no clothes ... again. (Yes, eight key players missing is a valid excuse, but not when injuries ruin your squad year-after-year.)

* And not to repeat myself, the Arsenal issue this year -- read last week's post -- is going to be offense cohesion. Really loving my Robin van Persie pick to win the Golden Boot. Surprised Opta hasn't hired me yet.

* Not going to go crazy over Manchester City thumping Spurs 5-1, even with Edin Dzeko's four-goal explosion. Wrote a bunch about the new-look City last week, though mainly on Kun Aguero. What's worth noting is that Aguero worked in tandem with Diego Forlan at Atletico Madrid, whil Dzeko scored 26 and 22 goals paired alongside Grafite at Wolfsburg. You figure with the talent at Roberto Mancini's disposal, City will make due.

* Dzeko, Aguero, David Silva and now Samir Nasri? That'll do pig, that'll do.

* Carlito who? Perhaps he and Kaka can form some sort of support group for displaced multi-millionaires.

* Though, throughout his time in all our lives he's had his fair share of being an asshole moments, a moment of pause of Didier Drogba and his freak, scary collision with Norwich keeper John Ruddy, which knocked him out for over 30 minutes. If I were a bigger prick I'd say this was karma for his infamous tactic of knocking balls down to himself with his extended arm.

* Chelsea, through three games, hasn't looked great under Andre Villas-Boas. Specifically the Blues haven't looked like world beaters. The difference between Chelsea and Arsenal, at least on the surface is one team has veterans who know how to win, the other doesn't. Odd, isn't it, that Ramires looks like a new player under Villas-Boas, while his former Benefica teammate -- David Luiz remains pinned to the bench.

* Here is the requisite spot to mention Juan Mata, wearing the No. 10, scoring on his debut. I'll be more impressive if he's able to maintain that assuredly tediously manicured 3/4 length neck beard throughout an entire year in England.

* Considering my fantasy football draft was Friday night and into Saturday morning, glad I didn't wake up at 7 a.m. for Wolves/Aston Villa. Again, god bless his gentle heart, as Ian Darke felt the need to tweet and apology once again.

* Luis Saurez is easily the most fun player to watch in the Prem at the moment. He seems to be from that Clint Dempsey school where every touch he's dreaming about scoring the golazo to end all golazos. If he were a little more clinical, instead of trying for the spectacular, he could have had a hat trick vs. Bolton Saturday.

* Offensively Kenny Dalglish fielded his best-looking unit in the 4-3-3: Henderson, Adam and Lucas behind Downing, Suarez and Kuyt. Finding a way to get the best from Andy Carroll -- the transatlantic version of JD Drew? -- and working in Steven Gerrard are problems. Good problems. Perhaps Gerrard can reinvent himself as a libero-like center back. ... Nah.

* Sunderland and Fulham each only have one goal scored in three matches. Sunderland's via an opening-day Seb Larsson golazo and Fulham a late consolation Sunday vs. Newcastle from Dempsey.

* As for Newcastle, two wins, a draw and one goal allowed? Preseason I was slightly bullish on the Magpies, but this roster remains very ordinary and rapidly becoming even more French-looking than Arsenal.

* I'll admit it, never heard of Ryan Shotton -- Stoke's game-winner vs. West Brom Sunday. (West Brom three games, three loses ... zero face rubs from Roy Hodgson. What gives?)

* Hey Everton, three points are three points. Enjoy.

Labels: Arsenal, arsene wenger, English Premier League, EPL, manchester city, manchester United, Soccer

Not a lot of time this week -- a mid-week earthquake and an impending hurricane scenario will do that to you. Makes more sense to take stock of things next week when the transfer window is closed shut.

Anyway, with teams seemingly spending less on old players in the Premier League and focusing on youth -- whether by force from Michel Platini or not -- let's examine where the "Big Six" clubs stand at the moment.

This is an arbitrary list as they come, but here are players who (at least by year of birth, 1988) could represent their home country in the Olympics on a U-23 team, well, assuming the tournament was this summer instead of 2012 in London.

Not sure this illuminates very much, so draw your own conclusions.

Arsenal: (12) Szczesny, Gibbs, Jenkinson, Miquel, Traore, Frimpong, Landsbury, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Ramsey, Wilshere, Walcott, Bendtner, Miyiachi,

Chelsea: (5) van Aanholt, McEachran, Romenu, Kakutu, Sturridge

Liverpool: (11) Flanagan, Kelly, Robinson, Wilson, Spearing, Shelvey, Henderson, Sterling, Carroll, Pachedo, N'Gog

Manchester City: (6) Boyota, Richards, Savic, Weiss, Aguero, Balotelli

Manchester United: (13) De Gea, Evans, Fabio, Rafael, Jones, Smalling, Anderson, Cleverly, Morrison, Pogba, Chicharito, Macheda, Welbeck

Tottenham: (7) Walker, Bale, Bostock, Livermore, Sandro, Townsend, Rose, dos Santos,


Champions League Musings: On the one hand, you have to hand it to the folks at Sony and Heineken for getting us all wrapped up in the UEFA Champions League. The great myth of the competition is that it's a lot like NCAA basketball, as the group stage/regular season don't matter all that much, since all the drama is in the knockout stage/tournament.

UEFA ought to take a page from the NCAA, and at least add some kind of a human element to the draw instead of relying on coefficient ratings.

Yes, Porto won the Europa League last season and, if the math in the computers means anything, is still getting a bonus for winning the Champions League in 2004. Still, somebody has to step in an say, the club lost it's manager (Andre Villa-Boas) and it's top scorer (Falcao) and probably won't be nearly as good as it was last year.

Then again, since Manchester United and Chelsea got their yearly cupcake draws, the human element might even make the groups even more lopsided. Then again, Group A with Bayern, Manchester City, Napoli and Villareal should be good, though the Yellow Submarine is a pale imitation of the club it was in the 2005-2007 range when it had Juan Roman Riquelme and Diego Forlan causing everybody trouble.


At least the computers and Luis Figo/Ruud Gullit/Paut Breitner combintation gave us the match up we've all been waiting years for: BATE Borisov v. Viktoria Plzen. Might have to find an airline that flies to Belarus to go watch that in person -- mmmmm free Chernobyl radiation fallout.

Saturday:

* Aston Villa v. Wolves -- (Live, ESPN2, 7:05 a.m.) Gun to my head, think I'd take the Wolves roster over the Aston Villa roster in this West Midlands derby scenario. Wolves aren't flashy, but they are a team that's been together a couple years now. With Matt Jarvis, Stephen Fletcher, Kevin Doyle, Stephen Hunt and Jamie O'Hara you've got different offensive options. Aston Villa seems to have one -- Darren Bent -- but he's quite productive with 42 score since the start of 2009. ... Aston Villa 1, Wolves 1

* Wigan Athletic v. QPR -- (Live, Fox Socer Plus, 7:30 a.m.) Wigan are creating chances -- from the penalty spot. Not sure what to make of QPR yet. Adding Joey Barton would be interesting, but it's also a massive risk since he'll likely demand huge wages and if the team is relegated immediately he'll be impossible to move. If Barton wants to play the massive "eff you" card to all of England, he might be able to keep the club at least dangerous, until his next arrest. ... Wigan 1, QPR 1

* Chelsea v. Norwich City -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Chelsea should be able to win this by muscle memory alone. ... Chelsea 3, Norwich City 0

* Blackburn Rovers v. Everton -- Let's see who's more desperate in this one, which both teams pointless. Blackburn, if it's anything, lost its first two games but did score in each. Everton looked meek, aside from a few headers by Tim Cahill in its season-opening loss at home to QPR. In other words, something has to give here. ... Blackburn 1, Everton 2

* Swansea City v. Sunderland -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Through two games Swansea has done nothing for me, that said Sunderland is a team ripe for the picking for its first Premier League win. I think I emphatize with Steve Bruce. It's like going to the grocery store, buying a ton of ingredients, but not knowing how to turn them into a meal that tastes good and compliments each other. ... Swansea 2, Sunderland 1

* Liverpool v. Bolton -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) My guess here is that playing against Zat Knight is going to be Andy Carroll's best chance for the proverbial slumpbuster. Then again, with the red-hot Luis Suarez (all he does is score goals, or bite people) Liverpool don't exactly need to rely on their record money signing. Funny how that works. Bolton, against my preseason thoughts, hasn't struggled to score with six in two games. Not sure how long Ivan Klasnic can keep it up, but this team won't be pushovers for anybody. Hilarious aside, Owen Coyle took a shot at the website Zonal Marking in some magazine. Made me laugh. Coyle seems like one of the few Premier League managers who's a normal guy without an ego. ... Liverpool 2, Bolton 1

Sunday:

* Newcastle United v. Fulham -- (Live, FSC+, 8 a.m.) Another game where something has to give. Newcastle hasn't allowed a goal. Fulham hasn't scored. Excitement is thy name. ... Newcastle United 0, Fulham 0

* Tottenham v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC, 8:30 a.m.) Well, Spurs fans, you'll always have Peter Crouch's goal to hang your hat as City's oil bucks propel them further and further up the table. Emmanuel Adebayor is going to help, assuming there's some chemistry between he and Rafael van der Vaart, though that'll have to wait until the next league game since he can't play against City. ... Tottenham 0, Manchester City 2

* West Brom v. Stoke City -- Shane Long tries to go 3-for-3 with goals in as many games. Stoke haven't flashed anything that says the Potters are ready to make a leap from mid table, to umm ... the slightly higher mid table. ... West Brom 1, Stoke City 1

* Manchester United v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Sir Alex came to Arsene Wenger's defense in the press, which really means he wants to lay a good ol' fashion whoopin' on the Gunners this weekend. Arsenal did show some mettle, rallying to win at Udinese and secure a Champions League group stage big, though it's hard to figure United gives them as much time on the ball as Udinese did. As I've been saying, for Arsenal to keep pace Theo Walcott is going to have to have a big, consistent season. Perhaps if you're Arsenal you take heed that a crafty player like Robin van Persie can trouble the young United defense and find gaps between Jonny Evans and Phil Jones, though it's possible Rio Ferdinand might play. Are Andrey Arshavin or Tomas Rosicky really bringing any attacking thrust that'll worry United? Conversely, Arsenal's old defensive woes might creep back with Nani, Wayne Rooney, Danny Welbeck and Ashley Young all off to flying starts especially with Thomas Vermaelen and Laurent Koscielny each facing fitness tests. This could get ugly. Consider Arsenal's midweek good fortune a temporary reprieve. ... Manchester United 3, Arsenal 1

Last round: 7-3
Season: 12-7

Labels: Arsenal, English Premier League, manchester United, Prem Picks, Premier League, Soccer

Here's the space where we come to bury Arsene Wenger, to piss on his 15-year tenure in charge of Arsenal, to question if the persnickety Frenchman has any clue whatsoever.

Actually, as much fun as it is to delight in the failures and foibles of Wenger, let's get a little perspective for a second -- yeah, admittedly not as fun. In the high-stakes game of world diplomacy Premier League soccer, few fans accept what transpires patiently.

Would anyone expect, after losing captain Cesc Fabregas the team wouldn't miss a beat? Did I see a single preseason table prediction that had Arsenal in the top three, let alone winning the league?

And maybe what's transpiring at the Emirates isn't necessarily a bad thing, long term. Since last winning the league in 2003-04 Arseanl hasn't quite bottomed-out. Wenger has kept the team competitive, flashing glimpses of brilliance and most importantly in the top four meaning the Champions League. The grand plan to win the Premier League through a stylish young team helmed by Fabregas didn't work, so the club is now stuck in a weird, limbo-like transition stage, much to the consternation of its fans.

Perhaps now we're seeing the bottom for Arsenal, which translates into -- gasp -- a possible fifth or sixth place finish. The revenue lost from missing out on the Champions League -- still a possibility this season pending Wednesday's match at Udinese -- would hurt the checkbook, though with the sales of Fabregas and probably Samir Nasri, the Gunners shouldn't be too hard hit, not with a 60,000+ seat stadium. That's got to go over well with a bean-counter like Ivan Gazidis, who it must be said seems more concerned with the red and black ink of the bottom line than the on-field product.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's the old adage for a team like Arsenal, that it can't rebuild, it has to reload, but a year away from the Champions League and away from the pressure of winning the Premier League might actually help a young team grow and prune some deadwood in the process, first and foremost Andrey Arshavin.

It's ironic, isn't it, the Russian was the hottest property coming out of Euro 2008 and was the one big name in Europe Wenger opened up the checkbook for to outbid everybody else. Saturday vs. Liverpool had to be the ex-Zenit man's nadir. In the attacking third he completed just 11-of-18 passes and only went 1-for-4 trying to take people off the dribble.

It probably didn't help that Robin van Persie, drifted so far away from the center of goal that Arsenal at times was playing a 4-3-1-2, without a center forward.

Right now, the on-field product for Arsenal is a mess.

Again, the irony here is that the much-maligned goalkeeping and defensive issues haven't been the culprit. Thomas Vermaelen and Premier League debutante Ignasi Miquel made Andy Carroll look like he was playing with a hangover -- very possible. The first Liverpool goal -- off Aaron Ramsey and a weird deflection -- was a quirk and the second, the game was over by then. The backline, with teenager Carl Jenkinson, was solid against Udinese in the midweek, too.

It's Arsenal offense, or total lack thereof is frightening.

Aside from van Persie, assuming Nic Bendtner is sold, the only other option up front is Maroune Chamakh, unless you want to convert Theo Walcott to a center forward or consider youngsters like Ryo Miyaichi or Joel Campbell (work permit). You can pass the ball around forever, but somebody has to score. If you're going to emulate the Barcelona 4-3-3 system, you need a clinical, consistent finisher like Lionel Messi or David Villa. Wenger is putting a lot of faith in Walcott -- his best scoring output is nine in 28 League games last year, or hoping Gervinho can score his share from the opposite wing. If Nasri is sold to Manchester City that's a further 10 goals Arsenal has lost from its sums from last season.

Emmanuel Frimpong in the midfield had the bite of a would-be Roy Keane and the misplaced swagger of an upcoming rapper from the suburbs. Love the fire, but tone it down a bit. People watching the game on Mars saw that second yellow coming. Henri Landsbury, too.

Not sure where these teenagers get that sense of entitlement on the field? It shouldn't be that difficult to preach discipline? Then again, with the entire team full of youngsters with big paycheck and a bigger egos, maybe it's not too crazy to expect. (This would scare me too, Arsenal fans, who is the presence in the locker room to tell the kids to knock the crap off?)

How does Arsenal fix this?

Considering Wenger's lack of enthusiasm for big-buys in the transfer market -- and really who at this point is he going to find to offer immediate assistance? -- this type of game is going to be emblematic of the year, another of growing pains. Barring a massive City/Chelsea splurge, what choice does Arsenal have at this point?

Do you still have faith in Wenger?

I certainly would, even with this current "crisis" on hand at the Emirates. Name a viable replacement? Until then, the talk about getting rid of Wenger is as shortsighted as it is silly.

Unless you're going to replace him, well more specifically the Arsenal shareholders Stan Kroenke, et al, with a rich, free-spending Arab oil baron who'll casually spend $80 on a Kun Aguero without batting an eye, then the gap between the Gunners and the two Manchester clubs is going to consider to swell. That's the issue, when you boil it down, instead of fighting with Chelsea, Manchester United and (at times) Liverpool, the Gunners now have the spending largesse of City to cope with, which might have pushed them farther from the promised land regardless of Wenger's transfer policy.

Arsene Wenger might have done a lot of things wrong the last seven years, but it's not his fault Manchester City was purchased by one of the richest men in the world, now is it?

A Thought on Liverpool:

It goes without saying, it sure must be nice for Kenny Dalglish to be able to bring on Luis Suarez and Raul Meireles in the second half, as Arsenal was wearing down.

Liverpool remains a work in progress, so I'd remain bullish on them since there's lots of talent. That talent, at the moment, doesn't seem on the same page.

Carroll, as noted before, couldn't win a header and kept drifting offside. There seems to be a total lack of chemistry between Stewart Downing and the rest of the team, as he seems to want to go 1-on-1 and launch long shots very often or cross unsuccessfully.

And Charlie Adam? Maybe when Steven Gerrard comes back they can come up with a system where they can swap Adam on to take free kicks and corners and let Stevie G do all the other running.

Dire straights:

Right about Everton could certainly use some, "money for nothing" with its perilous (and humiliating) financial situation -- quick way to make some cash, find a stadium signage sponsor with a little more clout than Crabbie's Alcoholic Ginger Beer. Not much to say about the Toffees limp, uninspiring and lifeless showing in their 1-0 loss at Goodison Park to QPR, which were much improved and confident in Week two of the Premier League.

If there's anything for Evertonians to take heed to, it's that the club are notorious slow starters and always peak toward the end of the season under David Moyes, assuming they still have any players left by then. [The last 48 hours certainly helped explain what I wrote over the summer about the club.]

And, hey, all the folks in England are tripping over themselves to praise Ross Barkley. Is it too cynical to think Moyes played him on Saturday in hopes a team with money might consider a last second bid for him?

Chelsea Remains:

Chelsea were, ahem, Chelsea beating West Brom 2-1 on Saturday after falling behind 2-1 on an early Shane Long goal, taking advantage of a gaffe at midfield by Alex. (Doesn't it seem like ex-Reading players make the best transition from Championship to Premier League?)

Never for a second did you expect Chelsea not to win that game. There's still the remnants of that never-say-die team, which always founds a way to get three points at Stamford Bridge.

Not sure what Juan Mata is going to do on his arrival in West London, aside from sit on the bench in an "JM" embroidered track suit. This would have to be marked as another move meant for the future, along with the Lukaku move. That is, unless Salomon Kalou's time at Stamford Bridge is finally over.

That or Roman Abramovich had a hole burning in his pocket until the Luka Modric saga ends on Aug. 31 around midnight.

Around the League:

Bolton put up a good showing, losing 3-2 to Manchester City. Owen Coyle's team looks slick on the ball and should be immensely better when Stuart Holden replaces Nigel Reo-Coker in the midfield. ... Arsenal, Fulham and Swansea are all scoreless in three matches. ... City took care of business and scored all three of its goals with Carlos Tevez off the field -- hello Edin Dzeko. Don't think Roberto Mancini fully needs Samir Nasri, but he would give him an alternate to Yaya Toure in the center of the field. If Gareth Barry starts scoring crackers from outside the box again... City go to White Hart Lane on Sunday. ... I ragged on him last week, so typically Gabriel Agbonlahor scored a pretty sick goal vs. Blackburn Saturday in a 2-1 win. The lone Rovers goal from from my old pal Gamst. Glad to see that. ... Small sample size, but the only club not to allow a goal yet, aside from Spurs who haven't played, is Newcastle United. ... Wolves are 2-0-0 and have amassed a competitive first choice XI who have a general understanding with each other. Who's to say they don't enjoy a Fulham-like season in the top half, though Wayne Hennessey worries me in goal.

Fantasy Team O' the Week:

Again, the official Prem website is having massive issues every time I go to check, so a shout out to my Internet pal @hazemeyer who placed first in week one. Good dude.

Darke Chocolate:

Early into the second half of Arsenal/Liverpool Ian Darke and Steve McManaman somehow started talking about player nutrition in the modern game, triggering Darke to mention how in the 1950s the Chelsea players would, "walk across the street for a roast supper with apple pie and custard."

This delighted me to no end.

And made me quite hungry around 8:42 a.m.

Fox Soccer Zoned:

Not too be too cynical, but the best endorsement bounce Abby Wambach could snare after the Women's World Cup was a painfully embarrassing, low-budget ad for magicjack.com, which aired about 15 times on Fox this weekend?

The less said about FoxSoccer.tv's inability to work for much of Saturday the better.

This evisceration from The Gaffer on EPLTalk.com sums it all up.

One Other Thing:

Everybody loves a good, power saxophone solo, the ones that were so popular in nearly every movie montage of the 1980s. Naturally, leave it up to a French electro band -- M83 -- to bring it back. Don't care if you like the song or hate "bleeps and bloops," from the 3:01-mark onward it's pure, powerhouse, hot, buttered sax.

Labels: Arsenal, arsene wenger, English Premier League, EPL, Monday recaps, Soccer

Now it's time for your requisite story about Sergio "Kun" Agüero and Manchester City, who around 4:48 Eastern Time on Monday was arguably the biggest thing to ever happen to England. Ever. Winston Churchill? Pfft. Did he ever score two goals against Swansea City?

Didn't think so.

In essence, Agüero's Premier League debut was so life-affirming people across Manchester -- nay, around the world -- where left spontaneously expressing their new found happiness by mimicking the "dancing", err, gyrations of late Joy Division frontman Ian Curtis. (RIP)



Let's, as usual, peel back the onion of hyperbole for a second. (And yes, it was an excuse to post that video.)

The first question/issue to pull away from the embers of Agüero-mania, is the Argentine striker good enough for City to move away from its reliance on his countryman Carlos Tevez, who might play for the team this season ... or not.

That might be a trick question in the first place, since slowly Roberto Mancini has been assembling a (bloated) roster of players to do just that. With Agüero, along with pricey additions Edin Dzeko and Mario Balotelli, City have a fleet of strikers to rival any club in the world not named AC Milan. Still, it was going to take time for City to integrate these players, leaving Tevez to play the hero time and time again last season.

The telling stat on Tevez' influence on City last season? In games he played and didn't score, the club was a mere 4-6-6, compared to 17-2-3 in all other matches. (One of the wins was on the last day vs. Bolton; another he came on in the 86th minute; the other two were 1-0 victories over Blackpool and Wigan.)

If City is a realistic contender to dethrone Manchester United, Mancini was smart enough to realize relying on one player, a moody player who apparently wants no part of the greater Manchester area, he had to find a Plan B or C.

That's where Agüero probably comes in.

What interests me is the evolution of City under Mancini, granted this evolution is a lot easier when you have an open check book and can quickly sell off "flops" like Jerome Boateng or find a quick replacement for Alex Koralov.

When the Italian manager took over in the middle of the 2009-10 season from Mark Hughes, he played a mainly what you'd consider an "English" style -- 4-4-2 with Tevez and Emmanuel Adebayor paired up top with one another and Craig Bellamy and Adam Johnson outside. Their was some 4-2-3-1 sprinkled in, or 4-4-1-1 with Stephen Ireland (yeah, him) behind Tevez.

At the start of the 2010-11 year, after missing out narrowly on the Champions League, Mancini put his full imprint on the team, playing strictly in the 4-2-3-1 -- the formation de rigueur -- but still resembled the best team 1998 Serie A could buy with its overtly defensive feel. Things opened up more offensively when Yaya Toure settled into a more attacking role, but the defensive-minded Nigel de Jong and Gareth Barry remained locked in the starting XI. The team seemed forged in the Chelsea model of size, strength and power, which was enough to win the FA Cup.

Now, only a game into the new season, how does City move forward?

Perhaps, the scary thought, is that by slowly adding players from La Liga -- Toure, David Silva, Agüero -- City is bringing with it some of the tactical skill that's made Spain the best soccer nation in the world, if only rubbing off through osmosis. Again, only one game, but Silva and Agüero found an instant chemistry with two players with natural first touch and all that jazz.

Agüero -- who played in a 4-4-2 or a 4-2-3-1 at Athletico Madrid -- appears ready to slot into the Tevez role. If Dzeko provides that burly physical presence up front, City might fully be able to say it's moved beyond its reliance on the man they call Carlito.

A scary thought for the Premier League ... and in time maybe the rest of Europe.

Get off my lawn:

Real Madrid/Barcelona games have slowly morphed into the Chuck Norris Facts of soccer. Every single thing that happens in it is both a) the greatest thing to happen on a soccer field and b) an Internet meme. (Seriously, take a time out from reading and search "Mourinho" on Tumblr. You'll have LOLs for days.)

The skill and talent at these two teams is amazing and the games are great theater, to a degree.

The rivalry, for me at least, is a lot like North Carolina and Duke -- both consistent winners with rich history -- in college hoops in the fact it's hard to root for either team. Naturally, Ray Hudson of GolTV the Dick Vitale here.

Not to be too cranky, I fully understand why people love to quote the Geordie's orgasmic screams and esoteric comments (even if half are too ignorant to know who Sophia Loren is) during the action, but he is basically soccer's Vitale -- all schtick. It might be from the heart, but it tends to overshadow the game. Up until about 2000 Vitale was a lot of fun. You used to like hearing him call a game, now it's just sad as he tries to force in his "diaper dandy," "PTPer" and other pet names into a game. (At least Hudson has never endorsed frozen pizza, though.)

An announcer should enhance the action, not overshadow it.

Also, Xavi never did this in the Spanish Super Cup. It's obviously computer digitally edited. Barcelona are blameless, totally pure and represent every single good thing possible in sport. To watch Barcelona play is to enter a higher, purer realm of consciousness.

Remember, it's all Jose Mourinho's fault.

Always.

Round 2 Picks:

* Sunderland v. Newcastle United -- (Live, ESPN3 only, 7 a.m.) Always have to respect a rivalry that's so intense it has to be played early in the day for fear of fans drinking all day and then burning down the city center, with or without the presence of Joey Barton who will probably go to sleep listening to The Prodigy's "Firestarter" on a loop, yes, this needs to be embedded below:


There's more here than 90s dance-y music nostalgia, though. Newcastle didn't show much, but the Magpies kept a clean sheet against Arsenal. Long term the problem for Newcastle might run into is that in Demba Ba, Nile Ranger, Leon Best, Shola Ameobi and Peter Løvenkrands they have the least dynamic/creative forwards of the non-promoted teams. AND Gabriel Obertan! That's why they need to keep Barton around for the time being, or his next prison stay.

Sunderland? There's a lot to like in the fact a) the Black Cats didn't roll over down 1-0 at Anfield last weekend and b) Steve Bruce as a ton of different options for deploying his starting XI. Moving ahead, Sunderland need to find a forward (or two) that click with the creative options (Seb Larsson, Stephane Sessegnon, Kieran Richardson). Maybe it's Ji Dong-Won, who more of a physical presence than Asamoah Gyan. The Ghana forward is a talent, but his major skill -- speed -- doesn't mesh with the rest of the team. ... Sunderland 2, Newcastle United 0

* Arsenal v. Liverpool -- (Live, ESPN2, 7:45 a.m.) Is it wrong for me to simply want to see how this game plays out instead of labeling it a crisis time for either club? If anything I'm curious to see where Arsenal generates its offense from. One prediction, there won't be two penalties in the final 12 minutes of stoppage time. ... Arsenal 1, Liverpool 2 ... (This retroactive slobber-fest over Cesc Fabregas made me laugh, hard.)

* Swansea City v. Wigan Athletic -- There is no bigger fan of Ian Darke on the planet than me. He is the Lionel Messi to my Ray Hudson. However, Darke talking about how long and arduous it is to travel from Swansea, Wales to Manchester, England was a little silly from an American perspective. The distance, as with Wigan, is only around 200 miles. For comparison's sake that's about the same driving distance as the following: New York to Boston; Tuscaloosa, AL, to Atlanta; Portland, Ore. to Seattle; Ann Arbor, Mich. to Columbus, Ohio. So there you go. As for this game, if Swansea struggles to hang with Wigan, well, it doesn't bode too well. Expect a big bounce from the home crowd, at least for the Swans Premier League debut. ... Swansea City 3, Wigan 2

* Aston Villa v. Blackburn Rovers -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Just what Aston Villa fans wanted: Alex McLeish & Emile Heskey -- A Love Story For the Ages. This is why people use the backhanded compliment term, "pragmatic" to describe the Scot. In the Blackburn camp, Raul is the latest aging superstar "name" to say no thanks to Ewood Park. I'm half-surprised Venky's wasn't able to lure Robbie Keane away from Tottenham. Guess, once again, Lancashire, England doesn't have the same allure as Los Angeles or New York for guys looking for a final paycheck. ... Aston Villa 2, Blackburn 0

* Everton v. QPR -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Everton's chairman, is apparently beyond clueless. QPR now have a new owner. Something has to give at Goodison Park, right? Alternately, if you're an aficionado of neck tattoos (obviously you are), then this is your match with Jermaine Beckford vs. DJ Campbell. ... Everton 2, QPR 1

* Chelsea v. West Brom -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Petr Cech is out for the Blues. Will this be the first of many injuries for the aging side? At this time last year Chelsea was raping teams like West Brom 6-0 and we all thought the title was all but decided. Funny how that worked out, huh? ... Chelsea 2, West Brom 0

Sunday

* Norwich City v. Stoke City -- (Live, FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Love how Stoke wins a game in Europe against a nondescript team from Switzerland and the English press react like it's the Miracle at Fatima. Once again, the teams outside the top get no love. ... Norwich 1, Stoke 1

* Wolves v. Fulham -- (Live, FSC, 9 a.m.) It's games like these why my prediction record was utterly pathetic last season. Can you tell me, outside of home form, why one team is appreciatively better than the other? And don't cite Clint Dempsey scoring a brace vs. Dnipro in the Europa League qualifiers, either. That team, frankly, sounds made up. ... Wolves 1, Fulham 0

* Bolton v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Here's guessing that this game doesn't end 4-4 after each team put up four in their opener. If City are serious about winning the league, they have to take three points instead of one in games like this. They add up. ... Bolton 0, Manchester City 2

Monday

* Manchester United v. Tottenham -- (Live, ESPN2, 2:45 p.m.) Manchester United scored, what like seven unanswered vs. Seattle Sounders? Spurs mushed the SPL's Hearts 5-0 in a Europa League qualifier? So by transitive properties, the MLS and SPL are about the same, right? United are vulnerable without the Vidic/Ferdinand combo and really, how much longer is Rio going to play? That's why Sir Alex is so smart, snapping up Chris Smalling and Phil Jones, rebuilding on the fly ... again. The issue here is communication, how do the do young English defenders mesh with Spanish keeper David De Gea. No idea what to make up Spurs at this point. With or without Luka Modric they lose games at Old Trafford, a streak dating back to 1989. ... Manchester United 3, Tottenham 1

Last round: 5-4
Season: 5-4

Labels: barcelona, English Premier League, EPL picks, Jose Mourinho, kun aguero, manchester city, ray hudson, real madrid, Soccer

Let's talk about Cesc.

As discussed numerous times on this little ol' slice of the Interwebs and elsewhere, it's very difficult to quantify and access soccer players analytically and determine their actual value in winning and losing games. With so many players and leagues around the globe and precious few statistical metrics there's no way to assign a handy-dandy baseball term like WAR (wins above replacement).

Soccer arguments and debates seldom use stats. If they did a guy like Zlatan Ibrahimovic might be bandied about as one of the best of all-time. No, soccer debates tend to take a more "blood-and-guts" approach.

It's an empirical debate, with your own passions tending to cloud something. You can't just pull up www.soccer-reference.com and access how Pele's 1965 club season at Santos -- 49 goals in 30 league games, FYI -- compares to what Lionel Messi did at last season at Barcelona -- 54 goals in 55 games across all competitions(*). Again, there are too many variables in play, before you can calculate a standard deviation.

(*) Hypothetically, the 2010 version of Messi would wreak more havoc in 1965 than that year's Pele in the modern day, right?

So, after being plucked away from the Barcelona youth academy in 2003 as a scraggly-haired 16-year-old this is what we know for sure about Cesc Fabregas' career at Arsenal.

303 games played.
57 goals.
100 assists.
2 PFA Team of the Year selections (2007-08, 2009-10)
1 major trophy (2004-05 FA Cup)
1 Champions League runner-up (2006, incidentally losing to Barcelona.)
1 PFA Young Player of the Year (2007-08)

Those are the cold, hard indelible facts.

How do we assess those eight seasons in North London, especially from a nice comfy perch from across the Atlantic?

Do we think about all the breathless words written about Fabregas' talent and how he'd usher in a new, era of club football in the Premier League? Or do we remember his utter lack of success in the trophy department for Arsenal?

Should Arsenal fans be gnashing their teeth, cursing Arsene Wenger for selling the club's best player -- for a financial windfall it must be said? Or should they scorn Fabregas for his constant, school-girl level flirtation with Barcelona seemingly for the last four seasons?

The bitter irony for Arsenal today is that Wenger's grand design for the club in the post-Invcibles seasons, in slowly allowing the Dennis Berkamp's to retire, the Patrick Vieira's to move to greener pastures, etc. was actually in a way quite noble. The Frenchman, amazingly and against the entire tide of the cash-rich Premier League, didn't want to outlay huge sums of cash on individual players. Instead Wenger wanted to develop a young, cohesive, free-flowing core of players who would play, "the right way" and win titles in the process with Fabregas as the cornerstone.

Does this sound vaguely familiar?

Sort of like what Barcelona has done the last half-decade, although, the comparison takes a hit when the Catalans outlay gigantic sums of cash for guys like Fabregas, David Villa, Alexis Sanchez, Ibrahimovic, etc. Barcelona, of course, has won trophy after trophy in the last 24 months and have been hailed as the best club side in the last 20 years.

In that regard, you can't fault Fabregas for wanting to go back home, grow a perma-3/4 length beard and bro-out with his Catalan pals. When given the easy option: join a established winner as a surplus part, or toil futility against a rising tide of competition, almost all modern-day athletes are going to chose the first option.

Two syllables: LeBron.

Okay, that his plan in theory heading to South Beach with his buds.

Where I'd be upset today if I'm an Arsenal fan was Fabregas was the key cog, the prototypical new-century, two-way midfield dynamo that Wenger pinned his fortunes on -- In Cesc, We Trust. Did the Spaniard ever repay that trust? Every time it seemed Arsenal was ready to take that next step, something would go wrong -- often Fabregas getting injured (less than 30 League games the last three seasons) -- producing another false spring. Should the club's misfortunes, well specifically lack of trophies, all be pinned on Fabregas? Did Fabregas -- even though you can say he scored that penalty on a broken leg -- somehow contribute to the club capitulating at every key juncture?

Is Fabregas, for the all the platitudes, the Premier League version of Dan Marino or Karl Malone -- great players to never win?(*) (On the club level, since we all know Fabregas was a squad member on Spain's Euro 2008 and World Cup 2010 winning sides.)

(*) Is this a fair argument to apply to soccer players? Does winning go hand-in-hand with greatness? Or is this the inane stuff of tiresome sports talk radio debates?

At some point, he does have to shoulder some of the responsibility for Arsenal's shortcomings after becoming a regular in the 2004-05 season. He was (eventually) the captain from 2008 onward, the man in the middle, the key player ... yet every single time the Gunners came up empty. To quote David Brent, "I'm not saying he's unlucky, but if he fell into a barrel of tits he'd come up sucking his own thumb."

Thinking, though, that one player and one player alone can win titles is a little foolhardy. In the 2006 Champions League final Arsenal against Barcelona the Gunners still had Thierry Henry, Robert Pires, Sol Campbell, Freddy Ljungberg, yet Barca had Samuel Eto'o, Ronaldinho, Deco, Mark van Bommel, Carlos Puyol, etc. (Fabregas was injured for the 2011 Carling Cup final, as Arsenal lost to a soon-to-be relegated Birmingham City.)

Perhaps some of this is revisionist history, or at least 20/20 hindsight perspective but it's worth throwing in the stew of Fabregas' career and it's not necessarily his fault.

As far as it goes in England right now, Spain can do no wrong. The English wish they could be Spain, but they can't, hence having a young, dynamic Spanish midfielder at one of the Premier League's marquee clubs was the next best thing. So everything Fabregas did, every touch was amplified by having that "continental magic" and special "tactical nous." That's not to say this wasn't true, but a lot of times it felt like there was a lot of projecting of what Arsenal's game was supposed to look like(*), to enter that rarefied air where some unwashed clubs like Stoke or whomever Sam Allardyce was coaching shouldn't even be allowed on the same field as the Gunners.

(*) Isn't this part of the beauty of soccer. You can try to play "champagne football" like Arsenal, but three points end up being three points regardless of how they're achieved?

In short, Fabregas was anointed and hailed universally as a great player (myself included), but his individual greatness wasn't enough for Arsenal to hang with Chelsea, Manchester United and now Manchester City. As the keystone for Wenger's plans for the last six years, Fabregas fairly or not, comes up short. He was supposed to be this transcendent, great player, but what do we have to prove this outside the platitudes? (Again, this is the soccer is art, other sports are math, argument.)

Or look at it this way: our eyes saw a great player, but what do we have tangibly to prove this?

And now in leaving the North London club for greener pastures in Catalonia, he diminishes Arsenal's stature in the process, though the big fat paycheck from Barca -- assuming it clears -- should help Wenger & Co. start a new era at the club after six trophy-less Cesc-era years.

Fabregas is a great talent and probably an elite player -- the trophies will come at Barcelona.

But for as good as Fabregas was -- or was was supposed to be in our minds -- wasn't enough to rub off on the rest of the Young Gunners.

And with that in mind, don't weep for him, a club like Arsenal should -- in the end -- demand to do better. Time to move on.

Labels: Arsenal, barcelona, cesc fabregas, Premier League, Soccer

Leslie Knope: Ron, we're back.
Ron Swanson: Bully.
-- "Parks and Recreation," Rainy Day.

Eight matches into the 2011-12 Barclay's English Premier League season and it's hard to not to take a Swansonian approach to what transpired.

A paltry 14 goals.

Three scoreless draws -- including a Fulham/Aston Villa snoozer on ESPN2 that prompted Ian Darke to tweet an apology for its direness.

Countless questionable decisions by Premier League referees.

Joey Barton being Joey Barton.

But hey, at least Seb Larsson scored a pretty sweet goal.

Is that an overtly cynical take on 2.5 percent of the season? You bet it is. Still, for all the hype, self-high-fives and platitudes the Premier League likes to heap on itself, you tend to expect a little more than what we got over the last two days.

It is only one round of matches, so let's look at a few pertinent storylines that might have developed:

1. Defensive crisis at Manchester United?

For about 40 minutes United looked like a barn cat toying with a wounded animal that was Roy Hodgson's West Brom. Tom Cleverly and Anderson were pinging passes around, while Ashley Young was trying Steven Reid like he was the Irish Jonathan Bornstein. When Wayne Rooney scored you figured the rout would be on.

Wrong. Shane Long beat David De Gea with a long, low, slow shot from the edge of the area -- immediately making the 20-year-old Spanish keeper the topic of conversation. Anyone with a keyboard in the world simply has to chime in on whether it's only a matter of De Gea "acclimatizing," "settling" or if he's the second-coming of Massimo Taibi.

There's no grey area. You have to make a snap judgement -- now. NOW!

The problem for De Gea is that his safety net is gone, with Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand each limping off with leg injuries before 70 minutes had passed. With the two defensive stalwarts shielding the young Spaniard the pressure wasn't nearly as high. Now with Phil Jones -- a teenager himself and new to the team -- and Jonny Evans -- who's a year away from being purchased by Steve Bruce -- De Gea's margin for error slipped considerably.

United's next game is home at Old Trafford vs. Tottenham. Expect a volley of long shots from Spurs. Another slip up in that match and it might be enough that maybe De Gea wishes he stayed in Madrid to where he could've kept playing in that The National cover band, sipping the Spanish equivalent of PBR wearing denim culottes 80 percent of the year. Now at England's biggest club he already has to face the music. (See what I did there?)

Of course, any sign of a quick crisis for United was averted when Young pinballed a ball off Reid from a sheer angle for the winning goal. Once again United do enough in the final 15 minutes of a match to get through. Last year the Red Devils scored 16 times in the final 10 minutes.

Remember, too, United only won five away games last year.

Meaning ...

2. Should Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool be worried about their draws on the opening weekend?

Yeah why not, but it's not the end of the world just yet. The panic scale from most to least should read: Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea.

Forget the ongoing madness of Joey Barton for a second. That Arsenal/Newcastle United game at St. James Park was about as boring a game as you can find. The Gunners seemed to want to work the flanks, but every centering pass was knocked away. Tim Krul made what, one tough save? Robin van Persie almost curled one in from a free kick? That was about it.

It's a little too early to drop the usual, Same Old Gunners refrain since Jack Wilshere didn't play nor do we know who Arsene Wenger is going to replace Samir Nasri and Cesc Fabregas with, yet. Not that the Frenchman has time to settle down and think either, with Tuesday's Champions League qualifier vs. Udinese looming.

One thought, it's not the champagne style football Wenger wants to play, but Arsenal did score with Maroune Chamakh playing the majority of minutes when van Persie was hurt last campaign. In a game like that against Newcastle why not throw the big Moroccan on and try to make something happen. Points are points.

And what a debut for Gervinho? Early curtains.

Last Arsenal thought for the moment. Are you sitting down? Got some breaking news, so brace yourself: Cesc Fabregas was sold to Barclona. Where did that come from? Stunning and shocking. (He better bring back this hair.)

For what it's worth, in Fabregas' time at Arsenal -- much of it as captain -- the club one one trophy, the 2004-05 FA Cup.

He can be replaced. More on this later in the week, time permitting.

As for Chelsea? Didn't bother to wake up for the match vs. Stoke. Reading game reports and watching the highlights, looks like the Blues had some chances or calls for a penalty. Fernando Torres, off a concussion no less, didn't look comatose.

At the end of the season, a draw at Stoke doesn't look like the worst result in the world. Until the knockout stages of the Champions League it's going to be hard to pin down whether or not Chelsea are that much better off under Andre Villa-Boas since this is still pretty much Carlo Ancelotti's team, which is still pretty much Jose Mourinho's team.

Finally, Liverpool? What to make here?

The Reds looked like worldbeaters in the first half-hour vs. Sunderland, even with Luis Suarez missing a penalty. Not sure how Keiran Richardson wasn't sent off when Suarez was clean in on Simon Mignolet. That's the Premier League, though. Awful referee decisions come with the territory.

This might be a typical Liverpool game going forward. For all the smart signings Kenny Dalglish has brought in, the defense remains quite rickety. Problem is, Jamie Carragher is 33 years old and the blood-and-guts of the club. You can't just kick him to the curb unceremoniously, can you? It's not that Carragher is washed up completely either.

Liverpool in 2011-12 should be a lot like Saturday's game for the interim, until all the offensive pieces Dalglish has assembled figure out exactly where they best gel together.

Expect a lot of 3-2 scorelines at Anfield this year.

3. So, Bolton, Wolves? Huh?

Great Job! Bolton. First place for yourselves, and four goals to boot. Gary Cahill scoring -- not on a header but a cracking shot from outside the box -- probably added a few million to his ensuing transfer fee.

All-and-all it's coming up Milhouse pretty early for Owen Coyle's team, which hammered hapless QPR 4-0 at Loftus Road. QPR added insult to injury by: a) one of the goals coming on a Daniel Gabbidon own-goal; b) Kieron Dyer limping off in less than five minutes and c) having another player (Clint Hill) sent off late for a red card retaliation foul. QPR only allowed 32 goals in the Championship last year. This doesn't bode well.

Welcome back to the league.

Quietly a quality result for Wolves, coming down from an early deficit to win on the road. Mick McCarthy's side looks to be a shade better than relegation fodder this year.

4. Showlifters of the World Unite.

Feels like I'm required to write something about Joey Barton being an asshole in this spot. So let's leave it at that. Credit him, in a weird way, for baiting Gervinho to lash out and possibly getting Alex Song a retroactive penalty/fine for stomping on him earlier in the game. The most remarkable aspect of what Barton did on Saturday -- more than falling down at the gently brush of the cheek from Gervinho -- was getting the ref to stop the game while the ball was still in play.

Nice Moz haircut, though.

Around the League:

All three victories over the weekend were by away teams. ... Has any player's stock fallen more in the last year than Gabriel Agbonlahor? ... Thought Johan Cabaye would be a player to root for at Newcastle ... until I saw he has a tribal tattoo on his thigh. ... Between Bakary Sagna, Alex Song and Johan Djourou is there enough hair-dye to go around at the Emirates? ... Kind of upset I didn't grab a screencap of Dirk Kuyt with a head wrap. Would've made a nice new Twitter icon.

Broadcast Zone:

Let's say this to FSC, err, Fox Soccer's credit at least they didn't bombard us with ProActiv and Sylvania HD ads at every commercial break. Otherwise? The subtle rebranding of the network otherwise didn't do very much.

"Match Day" and "Goals on Sunday"? How many focus groups were used to come up with those utterly generic names? "Match Day" remains thoroughly in the realm of must-not-see tv, as it brings next to nothing to the table aside from cliches. The fact the postgame show around noon still fails to show more than scant highlights from the early matches never makes sense, either.

What's amazing is Fox Soccer is essentially a network for the Premier League and Champions League. That's the entire deal. Yet ESPN, where the Prem is a Saturday morning afterthought, treats the league with so much more quality in his presentation -- simply from the fact Ian Darke and Steve McManaman are in the building they're broadcasting from. (Not sure how ESPN did a pregame feature on traveling to Craven Cottage and didn't show the Michael Jackson statue.)

Overall neither pregame show, which went on the air a half house before kickoff, are must-see television, but the stagnation set in at Fox leaves a lot to be desired, even with some new graphics.

Fantasy Team O' the Week:

Points haven't been added to the league page, as of this morning. Know this, Cahill was the only player from the weekend to hit double-digits without the captain's bonus.

One Other Thing:

If you read my Twitter feed then you know I like to have a laugh when Real Madrid and Barcelona play each other. Sunday's Spanish Super Cup preseason tune-up was certainly much more entertaining than anything the Prem offered over the weekend. Not sure what any of the teams in England can do narrow the gap or hang with them in the Champions League.

Labels: Arsenal, Chelsea, EPL, joey barton, Liverpool, manchester United, Monday recaps, Soccer

The other night I played darts with my buddy Nick. If I was a little more of a thinking man I would have assigned the 20 spots on the board to the 20 Premier League teams and done my 1-20 table prediction that way. That might be a little drastic.

Anywhere you look on the Interwebs you'll probably see the same variation of the top six with the same teams scuffing it out at the bottom. If you can accurately adjudge, say, spots 8-14 you're going last name is Tannen. That's where the true guessing game lies.

Remember as you read these, at this time last year I surmised that Roy Hodgson would be a godsend to Liverpool and Joe Cole was the best move of the summer.

Print this page out and get a good laugh for the next 10 months.


20. QPR -- Too much Neil Warnock. Too much Kieron Dyer. Too much bad mojo on and off the field.

19. Blackburn Rovers -- There is some talent here. With Ryan Nelsen and Chris Samba coupled with Paul Robinson in goal Blackburn has a sturdy foundation. The rest? David Hoilet is a nice, speedy talent, but the rest of the forward pool is dreadful. Two words: Jason Roberts. Sorry, but it's true. Problem over Blackburn is the owners -- Venky's -- want to be Real Madrid, which is patently unrealistic. On the pitch, who's the leader of this mismatched band?

18. Swansea City -- Should be a nice story, what with a supporters trust owning 20 percent of the club. Eh? How many games are they going to win? Defense is going to cost them in the end.

17. Wigan Athletic -- Bet against Wigan at your own peril. Rioting in England could burn down the entire country and all that will be left in the DW Stadium. Plus, it's hard not to like owner Dave Whelan, who seems like one of the few genuine "good guys" in positions of power in the Prem. Secretly I'm going to be #TeamWigan this year. Deal with it.

16. Norwich City -- Paul Lambert seems to have an Owen Coyle-like vibe to him when he was at Burnley, which was decent in the Prem until he bolted to Bolton midway through the 2009-10 season. You have to like teams that keep most of the pieces in place, playing their own way.

15. Bolton -- Coyle knows what he's doing, but Bolton might be in some serious trouble. Stuart Holden is still hurt. Chung-Yong Lee is likely out for the season. Daniel Sturridge went back to Chelsea and Johan Elmander signed in Turkey. Where is this team going to score? Kevin Davies can't do it alone, can he? On the plus side, Bolton added Nigel Reo-Coker and then Tuncay on loan. Oh wait.

14. Newcastle United -- Despite all the Joey Barton manufactured drama, Newcastle actually made a few decent moves in the summer. Adding Sylvain Marveaux from Rennes and Yohan Cabaye from French champs Lille was savvier than expected from the Mike Ashley-owned club. Demba Ba isn't Andy Caroll, but he's going to score goals, albeit of the garbage variety. Don't forget they get de Jong-ed victim, Hatem Ben Arfa back, too. The Magpies might actually not be too terrible, even with Alan Pardew in the mix. They'll have to score to stay up, though with their shaky defense.

13. Wolves -- Quietly made some consolidating type moves, adding Roger Johnson to solidify the defense, retaining Jamie O'Hara full-time and hanging onto Matt Jarvis ... at least until January or next summer. Wolves won't wow you, but Mick McCarthy's team is going to be hard to beat. Don't forget how this team took points off Manchester United and Chelsea last season. A little consistency and maybe they don't sweat out relegation all year.

12. Sunderland -- Steve Bruce never strikes you as a mad scientist, as most scientists seem to have small, nebbish faces not one that looks like a lumpy potato. God only knows what kind of a lineup he throws out there to start the year -- even in goal between Simon Mignolet and Craig Gordon. Lots of new players. Lots of moving pieces. Somewhere in there a decent team might reside, even with John O'Shea now club captain. With Stephane Sessegnon, Keiran Richardson and Seb Larrson, Sunderland might be tricky to deal with. David Vaughn, from Blackpool, is a move that doesn't make headlines but provides depth. Not sure Asamoah Gyan is consistent enough to be the club's top striker, though. We'll see if Connor Wickham, purchased from Ipswich Town, is another in the long-line of over-hyped English talents

11. Aston Villa -- In theory, Villa should be a lot worse, after selling Ashley Young and Stewart Downing. Let's ask this: how good was the team with them in the lineup? What you know is Darren Bent is going to score -- assuming Alex McLeish doesn't strand him alone in the manager's preferred 4-5-1 at Birmingham City. The rest? Somehow Villa have a nice bunch of young players: Marc Albrighton, Ciaran Clark, Barry Bannan, Jonathan Hogg, Fabian Delph, etc. The biggest issue here is an aging defense. Coaxing another year from James Collins and Richard Dunne in central defense might be asking a lot. Also, keep an eye on if Charles N'Zogbia fits into a team role and provides delivery for Bent, or if the French winger continues his 1-on-1 show, which ends up being less effective than it looks in the highlights.

10. Stoke City -- Meat and potatoes football.

9. West Brom -- The Baggies defense simply has to be better, as it allowed over 70 last season. The addition of Ben Foster will help. So will Shane Long from Reading. What does Peter Odemwingie do for an encore? Roy Hodgson's conservative ways should suit West Brom.

8. Tottenham -- Spurs went for broke the last two years, so consider this the hangover season. It goes against the way most English people think, but why not try to make a long run in the Europa League? Trying to hang with the big boys in the Prem is a bridge too far, unless Harry Redknapp finds a reliable forward that can bring it, week-in, week-out. Expect this to trigger the Gareth Bale-to-Real Madrid/Inter Milan rumors by mid-September. [As of writing this, sounds like Spurs might add Emmanuel Adebayor. Bump them up a spot if they do.]

7. Fulham -- Considering his track record at Spurs, surprising Martin Jol hasn't done much of anything all summer in transfers. Fulham is what is it. Solid pros, albeit getting a little older. This team knows what it is and how to do it. With Steve Sidwell and John Arne Riise they might lead the league in one thing at least: gingers on the field at the same time.

6. Everton -- Figure on a bounce-back from Mikel Arteta. Tim Cahill won't miss time for the Asian Cup. Leon Osman is healthy, too. February onward Everton went 8-3-4, including wins over Manchester City and Chelsea. David Moyes finds a way, although losing Seamus Coleman on the eve of the season is a concern. This team must stay healthy.

5. Arsenal -- At the time of writing this how to accurately gauge the Gunners, with Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri almost out the door and their replacements unknown. Arsenal could slide further down the table either way, except which of the teams below them have the guts to surpass them? Aside from Robin van Persie, Theo Walcott and maybe Jack Wilshere where is the blue-chip talent at the Emirates? There's a lot of good, individual players, but a winning side? Teams don't fear the Gunners anymore. It's up to Arsene Wenger and the players to decide: capitulate to all the negativity, or play the nobody-believes-in-us card? That's were I'd pin my hopes, Gooners.

4. Chelsea -- Let's put it this way, Chelsea by this time in 2012 should be poised to contend for the title again if Andre Villa-Boas' track record is to be believed. Is Roman Abramovich going to give him the time, though. Either way Daniel Sturridge is nice Fernando Torres insurance.

3. Liverpool -- Kenny Dalglish has had the magic touch at Anfield so far, tinkering with a loaded midfield and finding combinations that work. One of those would be figuring out a kinship between Lucas and Charlie Adam, even if its as simple as the Brazlian tracks back, runs, provides cover and Adam slumps around, puffs a cigarette and lines up free kicks. Liverpool, it's a hunch, wins one of the Cups this season.

2. Manchester City -- Talent-wise City have enough to win, even if Roberto Mancini insists otherwise. If City moves away from plodding for 89 minutes, then having Carlos Tevez pull something out of his hat at the last second, they'll push United to the end. Where they might fall off is Mancini, despite his time with Inter Milan, might not know how to juggle his squad if he goes deep in the Champions League at the same time. City have been slow starters the past two years, this year they probably breakout quick, but fade a little around the New Year.

1. Manchester United -- This pick comes down to Sir Alex Ferguson's track record. In the Premier League era United have won the title 12 times. Only once, in 2002-03, did they fail to repeat. The midfield with Ryan Giggs, Michael Carrick, Anderson, Tom Cleverly, might be a little lightweight for the Champions League, but with Wayne Rooney back to form, coupled with Chicharito, Ashley Young, Nani and Danny Welbeck there's a lot of goals to come, backed up by a solid defense, unless David de Gea is horrid in goal.


Top Scorer: It's not going to be Dmitar Berbatov repeating, that's for certain. Hard to pick Carlos Tevez with all his interpersonal drama and City's other options. So let's go with, gulp, Robin van Persie who's due one of these years to play a relatively healthy season. With all the defections at Arsenal he'll have to carry the load. After missing the start of the 2010-11 season, he bagged 18 in 25 matches. Runner up: Luis Suarez.

Top Keeper: Statistics will probably say Joe Hart at the end of the year, via clean sheets. Still for my money, I'll always take Pepe Reina as far as shot-stopping and distribution go. Paul Robinson could have plenty of double-digit save games at Blackburn, too, as he's quietly been very good the last two seasons.

Best overall player: You'd think he was too frail, but David Silva acclimated quickly to Manchester City and is the kind of player who makes everyone better. If the Tevez drama lingers, Silva's role should increase as a pure playmaker beyond set piece delivery. We should also expect huge seasons from Wayne Rooney, in his do-everything hybrid forward role.

Worst player: Stephen Ireland. Is he even still alive? Or trying. Seems like he doesn't care at all. Talk about deadweight at Aston Villa.

Best transfer (high-profile): Stewart Downing to Liverpool. Call Downing-to-Carroll the 2011-12 version of Montana-to-Rice. It's not quite down, yet, but figure down the road Chelsea adding Belgian teenager Romelu Lukaku pays off if not immediately.

Best transfer (low-profile): Ben Foster is a gigantic upgrade over Scott Carson for West Brom in goal. Other low-key moves that should pay dividends include: Darren Pratley to Bolton; David Vaughn to Sunderland and Roger Johnson to Wolves.

Worst transfer: Gervinho to Arsenal. Just don't understand why Arsene Wenger would waste money on a guy who might be surplus requirements when the club had other major issues. On the lower end of the table, why would QPR burn money on Dyer. Why?

First Manager Fired: Neil Warnock with Steve Kean right behind him, though Warnock might quit instead of being fired.

Trend to Watch: Call it a carryover from last year, will the middle class teams continue to go for three-points and try to stand toe-to-toe with the top tier teams? Or will pragmatism once again rule the day? Either way, figure on a pretty big gap between the two Manchester powers and Chelsea with the rest of the table.

Breakout player: If you're an Arsenal fan you're going to be scratching you head, on the one hand I trash the team, but then I think Aaron Ramsey is going to have a giant season coming all the way back from his broken leg. He'll be overshadowed by Jack Wilshere, since Ramsey is Welsh and Wilshere is an English bulldog. With Cesc and Nasri out the door (probably) Ramsey is going to be play and play a lot. Also, his breakout started in the final two months last season, but I'd bank on a massive two-way season from Yaya Toure, driving the engine at Man City.

Best American: Clint Dempsey ... until further notice, especially with the competition down to Eric Lichaj, Brad Freidel, Tim Howard, Brad Guzan and Holden, who is coming off a major injury.


Round 1 Picks:

Saturday:

* Wigan Athletic v. Norwich City -- For whatever grain of sand it's worth, Wigan got thumped at home in the season opener by promoted Blackpool. ... Wigan 1, Norwich 1

* Fulham v. Aston Villa -- (Live, ESPN2, 9:30 a.m.) Fulham might be the most settled team in the league, nothing exciting, but enough to get points at home. ... Fulham 2, Aston Villa 1

* Blackburn Rovers v. Wolves -- This one ought to be on ESPN. America deserves this game. ... Blackburn 1, Wolves 2

* Liverpool v. Sunderland -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Commence the countdown for pink, customized Charlie Adam t-shirt jerseys. Let's make it happen, John Henry. ... Liverpool 3, Sunderland 1

* QPR v. Bolton -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Absolutely overjoyed QPR signed DJ Campbell from Blackpool. The more neck tats, the merrier. ... QPR 1, Bolton 1

* Tottenham v. Everton -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) The battle for sixth place begins today! ... Spurs 1, Everton 1

* Newcastle United v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) When this kicks off, will any of the 22 players on the field actually want to be wearing the shirt they're currently in? ... Newcastle 1, Arsenal 2

Sunday:

* Stoke City v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Maybe the best barometer game for the season. Are Stoke, at home, ready to make a leap forward and are Chelsea still automatics, even away, against the bottom-half teams? ... Stoke 1, Chelsea 1

* West Brom v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Actually might be a tricky opening fixture for the Mancs, but expect something to happen in "Ferugson Time." Wait, it's too early in the year to be this cynical, isn't it? ... West Brom 1, Manchester United 2

Monday:

* Manchester City v. Swansea City -- (Live, ESPN2, 3 p.m.) Didn't realize when ESPN gained Prem rights in America roughly 75 percent of its matches would feature Manchester City. ... Manchester City 3, Swansea 0

Last season: Horrific

T.O.P. EPL Fantasy:

It's back. All the fun of micro-managing a roster until the 100-point salary cap, yep, it's back!

And now the official Premier League Fantasy game is being run by EA Sports, hooray!

So if you want to join up, go to the official website.

* Single table league code: 771739-194075
* Head-to-head league code: (first 38) 771739-194086

Labels: English Premier League, EPL, epl 2011, EPL picks

"My name is (Jurgen Klinsmann) and I'm full of ideas." -- Tom Goes to the Mayor.

U.S. 1, Mexico 1.

Obviously it's time to pass verdict on the Jurgen Klinsmann era, right? If he can't get it done in a friendly vs. the team's most hated rivalry -- on homesoil -- then let's all light our torches, grab our pitchforks and storm the USSF castle, right?

My bad. Some people don't get sarcasm, or I'm just a lousy writer. Either or.

This was only one game. A first step. So most of this is going to be fleeting observations since Klinsmann has three years to assemble a team for Brazil.

If there's one immediate, knee-jerk reaction it's how the game changed -- anyone with a keyboard can tell you that -- as it got later in the second half. It was odd, wasn't it, how Klinsmann opened the game with a starting XI that wouldn't have been surprise if Bob Bradley filled it out. A lopsided, conversative 4-2-3-1, with Jose Torres and Landon Donovan stranded out wide, Jermaine Jones and Kyle Beckerman clogging the midfield, Edson Buddle stranded alone up top and Michael Bradely ... somewhere, growling around wherever he wanted.

The U.S. looked slow, tentative, unsure and out-of-sorts.

Almost on cue -- or in the case of Robbie Rogers exactly on cue -- when Klinsmann brought in the youngish players on the roster -- Brek Shea, Juan Agudelo -- the game changed on its ear.

This was the sign of encouragement. The sign that the U.S. does have it in them to press an opponent, a very good opponent. To play with some verve. To swarm forward. To play like they're supposed to be out there.

Credit Landon Donovan, the elder statesman now, for showing he can still take over games at the international level.

Again, it's hard to read too much into one match without anything at stake, but the most telling thing was that in the postgame ESPN interview with Rob Stone, Klinsmann ended with a simple statement:

"I had a lot of fun."

Stray Observations:

* This is nothing new. CONCACAF officiating is a debacle. The U.S. probably should have won two penalties, followed by the asinine Gerardo Torrado tackle on Rogers on a breakaway. Just brutal. And it's not going to change, either. Sigh.

* If the idea that the U.S. needs to tap into the Latino population to take a next step, Rogers ought to consider adopting his Univision nombre, "Royie Roygers."

* Rogers? Really? Can't script this stuff.

* Klinsmann might have a magic touch, but he's not a miracle worker. Left back -- this time Edgar Castillo -- continues to plague the United States. Consider it an open audition, though everyone wants to say Eric Lichaj can play an "inverted" role there a la Philip Lahm for Germany.

Mothers and fathers from sea to shining sea ... teach your boys to kick with their left foot.

* Nobody on the U.S. defense stood out, but credit Klinsmann for keeping the back four intact for the full 90. Michael Orozco? Meh.

* Jermaine Jones took a lot of heat in this match, with Ian Darke even calling out his indifferent performance. Jones is obviously talented, but the problem was the time for him to contribute would have been the 2010 World Cup, not the 2014. His style of play, despite his German background, doesn't seem to jive with what Klinsmann wants to do.

* Seems, no matter what, Michael Bradley is a topic of conversation. Here's my thought, aside from Landon Donovan and Tim Howard, nobody deserves an automatic start in the XI, from the guys in the mix Wednesday in Philadelphia. Guys need to earn their spots. The Belgium friendly on Sept. 6 will be telling. Competition this far away from games that matter can only be a good thing. There seemed to be hunger when the newer guys got to the field.

* Jose Torres seems to be one of those guys. Ask 10 people about him, get 10 different opinions. There's no doubting he's got a solid first touch and all that jazz, but where does he fit in the U.S. team? Do you cater the lineup around him? And what about when Stuart Holden comes back? Torres is a piece, it's up to Klinsmann to put them together into a cohesive puzzle. Sadly, the German doesn't have the picture on the box to work off.

* Thanks to Mexico for playing like a haughty bunch of guys who thought all they had to do was step on the field and dominate. For all the possession El Tri managed, how threatening were they aside from that goal from a set piece? Mexico seemed to treat this friendly as exhibition-like as possible. This has to be considered when accessing everything.

* Call it a coincidence, or chalk it up to the hair, but I definitely get a Bastian Schweinsteiger vibe from Shea and the way Klinsmann might be able to use him. Since he played well for 20 minutes, let's annoit him the next great U.S. Soccer savoir. Deal?

* If we're into the depth chart kind of thing, doesn't everyone feel more comfortable with Juan Agudelo as the top forward over Jozy Altidore. Kid has a first touch and vision. Oh, he plays for New York Red Bulls, too, as John Harkes would remind you.

* Should be fun to see where Clint Dempsey is deployed under Klinsmann.

* Kyle Beckerman seemed to make the most of his shot, though his position is well-stacked by U.S. standards. Perhaps Klinsmann got him confused with Torsten Frings. Again, nobody in the player pool should have their proverbial reserved parking spot. Reward guys playing with effort.

* Kind of random, but funny how Arsenal's Carlos Vela is a total nonfactor for Mexico these days.

ESPN ZONE

Bringing this back after the debacle to start the game, which saw the telecast on ESPNEWS over ESPN2 due to a Little League regional game running late. Hey, there are contracts. The WWL couldn't dump the kiddies for a game, could they?

It's fitting for U.S. Soccer in general, though, since ESPN spent a lot of time talking up this match on all its platforms only for the start to be delayed by a bunch of 12-year-olds. This was almost so surreal that you'd half expect it was a headline penned by the soccer-hating writers at "The Onion." (Hey, did ya hear? Soccer it boring! How droll!)

Overall ESPN did a solid job. It's hard to screw up when Ian Darke is in the mix. I might watch a WNBA game if he was behind the mic. Might.

For my money adding ESPN Deportes Jorge Ramos in the booth was a worthwhile trial, even if he had to ask Darke to repeat a question. Ramos was blunt in his assessment, a nice counterweight to the pom-poms Harkes waves at times.

Final Thought:

For about 60 minutes it looked like malaise lingering over the final days of Bradley were still in effect.

It all ended with a little bit of optimism.

A welcome change of affairs and an effective first step of a long journey.

Labels: el tri, Friendlies, juan agudelo, jurgen klinsmann, Landon Donovan, NT, USMNT

"Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change," -- Scorpions, "Wind of Change."

Before we roll up our sleeves and dig into Jurgen Klinsmann's first game in charge of the U.S. National Team -- tonight vs. Mexico -- let's try to answer a question that's gnawed at me for a while.

Why can so many European musicians -- Klaus Meine of Scorpions as a classic example -- both write and sing in perfect English, whereas my own lyrical skills remain somewhere in the nursery rhyme level? There's countless Scandinavian bands from, err, Abba to modern punkers Iceage. There's Francophone Thomas Mars of Phoenix. Even German industrial noise-makers Rammstein where able to release an English version of "Du Hast." If you want to keep it uber-current, Gale from "Breaking Bad" rocked out a karaoke version of German Peter Schilling's "Major Tom."

That's a question for another day.

Let's get back to those ever tricky "winds of change."

The Berlin Wall came down in late 1989 to usher in the end of the Soviet influence on Eastern Europe -- and Yakov Smirnoff jokes. Cosmetic change was immediate -- the wall fell and everyone was as happy as Rocky Balboa at the end of the fourth movie, mainly (history tells us) due to the increased ability for Eastern Europeans to purchase designer jeans from the West. The long-ranging effects of the fall of communism, as we know, is still being felt today across the Eastern Bloc. In other words, the flashpoint was significant, but it was only the start of the story. Over 20 years later and change has been slow, but also drastic, which serves another chance to plug an excellent book, "The Ballad of the Whiskey Robber," a great picture of post-Communist Hungary.

Naturally, here's the point if you hadn't already guessed with my numerous German/Cold War allusions where we draw a parallel to the Berlin Wall falling and the hiring of Klinsmann to replace Bob Bradley. Okay, it's not a literal comparison. Bradley, for his dour persona, isn't a natural match for the grim, colorless portrait of communist Europe -- though his track suits would be perfect Eastern European couture.

No, where we'll draw a line between the two is that the fall of the Wall didn't immediately rectify everything in the Eastern Bloc, nor is the anointment of Klinsmann -- Sunil Gulati's white whale -- going to usher in a new era of enlightenment for U.S. Soccer (at least not immediately.)

If anything the way Klinsmann has been paraded around by U.S. Soccer, ESPN(*), Nike etc. he's being used as that symbol, the symbol of change, much like youth Berliners dancing atop the Wall. This isn't to mock the efforts of Klismann, but it's going to take time. A friendly in August -- even against the country's most hated rival which just humiliated them in the Gold Cup -- isn't going to be a be-all, end-all. It's the first step of a long, arduous journey.

(*) Devil's Advocate: With the non-media friendly/telegenic Bradley still in charge would ESPN a) send "SportsNation" to Philadelphia or b) run a massive pregame and postgame? This is, after all, a pretty meaningless friendly aside from the fact it's Mexico. Personally, I'm a little ticked off this game is cutting into the World Series of Poker action, or maybe "NASCAR Now."

Right now all the buzzwords about Klinsmann and the U.S. camp are "energy," "attacking," "offensive," "positive," "change," etc. To think, in one game with less than a week of training, the U.S. is going to be transformed from a plodding, counter-attacking, thoroughly solid team into a 10-man, swarming, pressing, collective is flat-out insane. Fortunately it seems most people associated with the team are being realistic about what the new coaching regime is going to do.

Again, the conundrum, if there is one. How long will it take to see actual change? Or how to judge that change? In one-off friendlies? In CONCACAF qualifiers vs. minnows? In the 2014 World Cup? All the programs and revamping of the U.S. system that Klinsmann seems to be promising, are like the fall of Communism in Europe, going to take a lot of time to plant, harvest and bear fruit.

Sometimes the winds of change blow slow.

Miscellany:

* Hard to believe a game vs. Mexico -- nearly at full strength -- is an afterthought. If there's a question for El Tri, can they coax another World Cup cycle out of the over-30 midfield pair of Israel Castro and Gerrardo Torrado? Their dirty work allow the Gio Dos Santos' of the world to terrorize the U.S. defense. And how long until Hector Moreno displaces Rafa Marquez as the leader of El Tri's backline?

* Guy I'm most excited to see for the U.S. is Brek Shea. Admittedly haven't seen a ton of MLS this year, but this kid has been a stand out for FC Dallas.

* If there's an immediate tactical decision for Klinsmann to make, it's how to use Landon Donovan. Is he a wide midfielder? A second-striker? A straight-forward? And while we're at it, why not tinker with Michael Bradley in a more advanced role, too?

* Smart move to bring in Bill Hamid as the backup keeper. The U.S. situation in goal could rapidly decline, as hard as that might be to believe. David Yelldell, since moving to Leverkausen, has been a flat-out disaster. Brad Guzan is back at Aston Villa but pinned behind Shay Given, now. Dominic Cervi is over in Scotland, but not playing regularly. Tim Howard should be good for 2014, but beyond ... ?

* Robbie Rogers and Ricardo Clark? Those have to be selections to appease the last remnants of Bradley support.

* Curious, after reading all the Internet rumor mills the last week, which player (if any) ESPN's grand dame Michelle Beadle is going to end up with in the proverbial "1-v-1" scenario after the game? Best guess is Carlos Bocanegra. Ladies love the Black Mouth, no?

* Pretty much every sports blog-ish site link that video of young American Josh Gatt ripping off a sick goal for Molde in the Norwegian Tippeligaen last week. If he a viable USMNTer? Who knows. One highlight a career doesn't make, as impressive as it was. Let's keep an eye on him, but also keep the hype machine to a minimum, too.

* Love, love, love the reintroduction of Thomas Dooley in my life.

* Ditto for Ian Darke, a true prince among men, especially for making 90 minutes of John "He Did Well There" Harkes tolerable.

Lineup Guess:

Picking this one is like trying to pick lottery numbers.

GK -- Howard

DEF -- Cherundolo -- Bocanegra-- Ream -- Pearce

MID -- Donovan -- Jones -- Adu -- Bradley -- Shea

FOR -- Agudelo

Final Thought:

There's a chance this match could play out a lot like the MLS All-Stars vs. Manchester United, with the U.S. playing the role of MLS and Mexico as United. The point here, is that although the players for the U.S. are familiar, it's still going to be a little different, with only a few training sessions to get acquainted with a new coach. Mexico remains settled, even with Chicharito.

It's hard to write off a match against Mexico, but these are the circumstances.

Who knows, many Klinsmann brings a little of that leftover pixie dust he used coaching Germany five years ago. A rousing victory would be right from the script Gulati and Nike are hoping to pen.

Labels: el tri, Freddy Adu, Friendlies, jurgen klinsmann, Michael Bradley, sunil gulati, USMNT