Let's dust off the tried-and-true sportswriting trope(*) of taking a few "swings" through the world of soccer on a Friday. As we all know, everyone with an Internet connection has been waiting with baited breath for my assessment of Jozy Altidore in AZ's Europa League match against Metalist Kharkiv.
Right.
Item No. 1, L'Affair Tevez -- Did you hear Carlos Tevez refused to play for Manchester City in their loss at Bayern Munich in the Champions League on Tuesday? Maybe. Perhaps. Think it was on the teletypes.
Plaudits to Roberto Mancini for laying the verbal smackdown after the match basically telling the malcontent Argentine, to get lost. That he's done at the club.
Right now Tevez is sitting on a two-week suspension -- one during the international break next week.
This could be overstating things to a degree, but how this plays out is crucial in the development of City if it's ever to take that next step from being a club with endless pockets, to a club with endless pockets that wins trophies.
Mark Hughes' time with the club was defined by repeated rows with Robinho and Elano. Both eventually left the club for a lot less than they were brought in for.
Tevez, who apparently makes more money per week than everyone short of Bill Gates, won't be easy to move since nobody on Earth will be able to afford his wages unless City foots a portion of the bill. Let's not even get into the whole, "I hate living in Manchester" thing or the fact Tevez's contract is owned, in part, by Kia Joorabchian.
If City's brass sides with Tevez, it sends a message that the club is powerless to the egos of players and agents, while winning is secondary.
Too bad on the field, at least, City don't have any strikers ready to step in and replace Tevez.
Oh right.
Item No. 2, Home Sweet, Home -- This is an offshoot of the first item and might be a bigger deal is somehow Tevez ends up back playing for Corinthians in Brazil.
Notice, quietly, a decent amount of Brazil national team players have moved back home to the domestic league? Sure, the nation still exports guys to all corners of the globe, but in the last year look who's gone back without much fanfare: Elano and Luis Fabiano. Fred left Lyon in 2009. Robinho went back to Santos on loan from City before heading to AC Milan. On the other end of the spectrum, guys like Ronaldinho (still only 31) and Adriano (nevermind) went back to Brazil instead of seeking out more European paydays.
File this after for a rainy day.
Item No. 3, Adios World -- "FIFA 12" came out Tuesday so the rest of the world can conveniently get the eff out of the way. Not kidding.
I'll say it again, since the first game came out around the time of the 1994 World Cup on Sega Genesis, what else has helped increase the (ahem) brand awareness of players and clubs from across the globe than FIFA?
More remarkable, how FIFA has replaced "Madden" in casual conversation between 30-ish somethings. Put it this way, you're coming home from the bar at 2 a.m. What are you playing? The choice is pretty obvious.
My only advice, stay away from playing the "Ultimate Team" game variant. It will quickly take over your life.
Item No. 4, Jonny Evans Die in a Grease Fire -- Title of this item says it all. Stuart Holden is now out another six months with cartilidge damage following his initial knee operation stemming from that horror tackle inflicted by the Northern Irishmen earlier this year.
Item No. 5, Bad Omen? -- If you're not a fan of stretches in credibility, skip ahead. Seriously. Skip ahead. Pretend its a "Chose Your Own Adventure" book.
Just throwing this out there. The Boston Red Sox spent $142 million dollars to sign Carl Crawford over seven years. Boston also inked Adrian Gonzalez $154 million for seven years.
Boston's owner? John Henry ... the same man who is now in charge at Anfield.
Now, admittedly, there is no connection between Major League Baseball and Premier League soccer -- none. Just think to the amount of cashed spilled out on Andy Carroll, Jordan Henderson, Charlie Adam (not that much) and Stewart Downing.
Just felt like throwing that out there.
(*) See ... made you dig for this one. It's always easier to write a few sentences (with dick jokes) on a myriad of subjects that trying to piece together a long, though-out essay/story on one coherent topic. Always.
Saturday:
* Everton v. Liverpool -- (Live, ESPN2, 7:45 a.m.) Love this derby. No frills. No ESPN "Ultimate Rivalry Ratings brought to you by Taco Bell." No unnecessary hype needed. This is just good ol' fashioned inner-city hatred. ... No Ray Hudson screaming. (Sorry.)
If you're betting on something, bet on a red card being flashed. I'd envision Maroune Fellaini and Charlie Adam sliding, well, stomping into each other at the same time in a dual knocked like Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed.
On the field, the issue here is Everton's sometimes shaky ability to score goals vs. Liverpool's inability to keep a clean sheet. Figure on a semi-goal bonanza. ... Everton 2, Liverpool 1
* Manchester United v. Norwich City -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Has any stat been as immediately irrelevant as Dmitar Berbatov winning the EPL Golden Boot last season? A year ago the (insert word laconic here) Bulgarian feasted on the dregs of the league like Norwich. Okay, that's not fair to the Canaries who are actually in eighth place at the moment. With Wayne Rooney probably sidelined, can he dust off his headband and pretend its October 2010? ... Manchester United 3, Norwich City 1
* Sunderland v. West Bromwich Albion -- Let's stay on the "if this was last season" theme. And if it was, West Brom would find a way to win on the road against a dicey Sunderland wheezing to the finish line. This year? Who knows. Neither team has gotten much of anything rolling. It wouldn't be a shock if one of these two are in the Championship next fall. Over time, I've probably said more good things about Steve Bruce than bad, despite his face looking like a sack of potatoes. However, his team rarely shows much guts in important games at the Stadium of Light. Oh, and Titus Bramble is out of the mix after a sexual assault/drug charge. Fun times. ... Sunderland 1, West Brom 1
* Aston Villa v. Wigan Athletic -- This game should be a true thriller. Maybe the sight of Roberto Martinez sparks Charles N'Zogbia to do something for Aston Villa. ... Aston Villa 2, Wigan 0
* Wolves v. Newcastle United -- I still find it difficult to live in a world where Newcastle is making smart decisions and have allowed the fewest goals in the Premier League. It's only six games, but I'm buying in on the Mapgies. I'll say this for Wolves, they'll be a much better team if they can ever upgrade from Karl Henry as a starting midfielder. ... Wolves 1, Newcastle United 1
* Blackburn Rovers v. Manchester City -- (Live, Fox Soccer Plus, 10 a.m.) Hey, maybe City can offload Tevez to Blackburn. Venky's would love to make a splash. Carlito loves to eat when he's sad, so they could supplement his payments every week with fried chicken. It's a win-win. ... Blackburn 1, City 2
Sunday
* Bolton v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Frank Lampard is back!!! One goal in the Champions League group stage proves it!!! He's back!!! (Well, not really.) Poor Bolton. The schedule isn't doing much favors. So far the Trotters have played both Manchester clubs, Liverpool, Arsenal and now Chelsea. That said, they lost at home to Norwich, too. Better circle the wagons early. Good thing the English media seems to like Owen Coyle. Must be the short-shorts. ... Bolton 0, Chelsea 1
* Swansea City v. Stoke City -- Correct me if you've heard this before, but if you're Stoke City and want to be taken seriously, go to Swansea and get a result. Should be a good contrast of styles, the passing of the Swans vs. the physicality of the Potters. Also, who kidnapped Mathew Etherington this year? ... Swansea City 0, Stoke City 1
* Fulham v. QPR -- Maybe Fulham just need to pretend that that QPR is some random team from Romania or Hungary, since they're doing quite all right in the Europa League. Then again, Fulham has been playing in the Europa League since June 20, needing six games in qualifying just to get into the competition. Don't discount this, most teams got a break after the end of last season, while Martin Jol's squad has almost been going non-stop for a year. Factor in the age of some of the players and it's not too crazy their Premier League campaign has been a false start. QPR? With Adel Taarabt and Joey Barton, they'll be feisty week-in, week-out. ... Fulham 1, QPR 1
* Tottenham v. Arsenal -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) There's only one issue here? How many water bottles will Arsene Wenger be slamming to the ground at White Hart Lane when this is over with? Pencil in a brace for Emmanuel Adebayor, triggering said reaction. ... Tottenham 3, Arsenal 1
Last week: 9-1
Season: 35-24
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, EPL picks, Soccer
Guessing, the Neil Warnock face in the picture above pretty much sums up the Premier League weekend, which was ... eh?
My ego isn't big enough, well hold that thought, let's frame it this way. Nobody on Earth -- my parents included -- want to waste 39 seconds of their Monday reading about me patting myself on the back for going 8-1 (through Sunday) on my EPL Round 6 picks. Thank Peter Crouch for scoring against Manchester United, because if it was 9-0 you'd all be hearing me channel my inner Bill Simmons and congratulate myself for being so awesome for another eight or nine paragraphs.
Alternately, for those scoring at home, this barely makes a dent in balancing out all the 2-8 weekends from last season's nightmarish final prediction record. So let's just get a couple thoughts and move on to next weekend, okay? Deal?
Thought No. 1 -- Manchester United aren't going 38-0-0: Raise your hand if you thought Sir Alex Ferguson was going to throw on Mr. Own Goal in the final 10 minutes at the Britianna Stadium and find a way to take three points from Stoke City. For the second straight weekend United looked rather ordinary -- by their high standards.
Without Wayne Rooney and Chicharito -- hurt with the first 10 minutes on a collision with Asmir Begovic -- United looked dull and toothless, though much more suave with Dmitar Berbatov and Michael Owen up top. That meant all the Red Devils could turn to were Nani and Ashley Young out wide, and naturally the little Portugeezer chipped in another thumping goal from outside the box. No, he's not a week-in, week-out, every-touch force of nature like Cristiano Ronaldo in his Old Trafford prime, but Nani isn't a bad consolation.
If Rooney, Chichario and Danny Welbeck are all sidelined, United do morph until a very ordinary team, that is unless Phil Jones continues to rampage forward from the backline with aplomb. (Expect him to quickly become the most loathed player at Old Trafford by United haters. Probably because he has blond highlights.)
The story here is probably more about Stoke City trying to edge up the table -- meaning maybe pushing a team for fifth or sixth place thanks to the Premier League's glass ceiling.
Stoke have beaten Liverpool and home, with draws to Manchester United and Chelsea. You might not like you they play and the Britianna might resemble Ice Planet Hoth crossed with Philadelphia's old Veteran's Stadium in terms of charm, whatever, Tony Pulis' has found a style that works. If anything, Stoke is using the real tenets of the "Moneyball" philosophy -- i.e. finding under valued players to compete, albeit against the grain.
Maybe one day Stoke will be more than long Rory Delap throw-ins and monsters described as fullbacks. Every team with ambition wants to emulate Barcelona. Stoke seems content to emulate 1973 Leeds United.
Whatever works.
Thought No. 2 -- Bullish on Tottenham?: Spurs seemed destined for a backslide from the previous two seasons in August. The team felt stale.
Add a true striker that knows how to score in the Premier League in Emmanuel Adebayor and a steady, week-in, week-out performer in Scott Parker and Tottenham might be able to do some damage. Damage in this case meaning pushing for the Top 4.
Against Wigan Spurs looked fluid. The Adebayor-Rafael van der Vaart link-up provided a nice early goal and Gareth Bale -- remember him? -- scored from a header off a corner.
As always, the keep for Tottenham is consistency.
Not sure where Sandro's haircut from Saturday falls into that dynamic. Wow.
Thought No. 3 -- Always something at Chelsea: Naturally, Fernando Torres scores a goal in the 3-1 win over Swansea ... then manages a really mindless two-foot studs up tackle to get a red card. Torres doesn't look like a re-animated corpse any more, so overall the weekend is a positive.
Less interesting, but will draw more headlines is the "story" about Frank Lampard not being used as a substitute. Why shouldn't this be a story? At 33-years-old, unless your name is David Beckham, when does any soccer player automatically "deserve" to start every week?
Again, this goes back to the Roman Abramovich meddling issue.
Andre Villas-Boas seems to have a vision for the team and the players to do it with Juan Mata and Ramires -- quietly very good this year. The old Chelsea of Lampard-Drogba-Terry is going to end eventually, but does the old guard still have enough locker room pull to assert their will on the new boss?
Chelsea is going to play some attractive games, I'd wager, but that might translate to dropping points since they'll be more vulnerable at the back to allow goals.
One thought, if Lampard/Chelsea turns into a bitter divorce, any club would best avoid signing him. Just burn the cash in a wheelbarrow. Sure it'd be a nice PR boost for a club like Stoke or Aston Villa or whomever to add Lampard, but he's got next to nothing left and minimal pace to begin with. The shirt sales aren't worth the trouble.
Thought No. 4 -- Hero man: Admission, the first half of Arsenal/Bolton put me back to sleep Saturday morning. It was awful.
Within 40 seconds of the second half, Robin van Persie scored and the Gunners were on their way to a 3-0 win on hapless Bolton -- more below.
The question here, as the new captain at the Emirates is the fragile Dutchman enough to drag the rest of the team up and push for a Top 4 spot? As it stands, van Persie is among the few remaining truly world-class/elite level players at Arsenal. Since the start of 2011 he's been the best scorer in the Premier League (21 goals) -- as long as he's on the field.
This is one of those stat/heart thoughts, too. van Persie doesn't cut the mold as a leader, instead profiling more as a lethal assassin. He's also one of the last links to the Thierry Henry days at Arsenal, so perhaps the Dutchman could use some of the lessons learned off the field from the French legend and apply it to the current team.
A lethal van Persie is probably the only way you can buy Arsenal as a legit team, regardless of Arsene Wenger's bluster.
Thought No. 5 -- Bad teams?: After six games its far to early to use the word "relegation."
Instead, let's say this quartet of established Premier League teams are in a little early season trouble: Fulham, West Brom, Bolton and Blackburn.
Each team has their own issues, for Fulham and West Brom, after playing to a 0-0 snoozer, when Fulham manager Martin Jol allegedly nearly started a fire for a halftime cigarette, is offense. Specifically a glaring lack-thereof.
Blackburn couldn't build off its upset of Arsenal and got smacked around at Newcastle, while Bolton got blown away by the Gunners.
It's so early in the season all it's going to take it one win and these clubs are right back in the thick of it -- the warm bosom of the mid-table. Still, with the promoted teams -- at least QPR -- showing some signs of life they'd best be careful. Don't forget, it's impossible to relegation Wigan Athletic, too. One of these clubs might be on the drop.
Around the League: Newcastle United might actually be good? Yes, that's a question. Three goals from Demba Ba vs. Blackburn is quite a statement. Ba has a wonky knee, but he could be a difference maker if he can stay healthy. ... Everton played well, but were undone by a couple individual moments from Mario Balotelli and David Silva -- setting up James Milner. Solid win by City ahead of their trip to Bavaria vs. Bayern Munich in the midweek. ... When he's on form, there's nobody in the Premier League I want to see more than Luis Suarez. Wish I could think the game like him. ... It's been said elsewhere, Aston Villa is doing okay -- haven't lost yet -- but it's a tough team to watch, much like Birmingham City under Alex McLeish. Bob Bradley is probably queitly nodding from a hotel outside Cairo wishing Michael could have stuck around. (More on Bradley below.) An own-goal off Richard Dunne to allow QPR to draw sounds about right.
Fantasy Team O' the Week: Kevin Bagley's MVee FC takes top honors with 69 points this week. 26 points from captaining van Persie helped, so did a solid defensive point output from Luis Enrique, Jose Bosingwa and Vincent Kompany.
One Other Thing: Never thought we'd see an American comedy out-"greasy" the Canadian classic "Trailer Park Boys" -- check them all out on Netflix Instant, you're welcome -- but "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" is coming close. Through two episodes of the new season the "Gang" is knocking it out of the park, assuming jokes about eating a rum-soaked ham on the beach entertain you. Chances are you're already watching "Sunny," so no need to pimp it, though late Thursday night I did really die from laughing so hard during the montage set to The Go-Gos "Vacation."
One More Other Thing: This is probably the best video to come from Egypt since "Stargate." Bob Bradley + Live Television = Match Made in Heaven.
Labels: bob bradley, EPL, Monday recaps, Soccer
Ever notice in America, once September rolls around, it's almost impossible to find any NFL analysis on television?
(Damn it, I've got to remind myself that sometimes sarcasm -- no matter how syrupy thick -- can sometimes get lost in a blog post or (especially) a text message.)
It's getting to the point where a show like "Meet the Press" is probably going to have a "Start 'em/Sit 'em" segment vis-a-vis the all-encompassing billion dollar behemoth that is fantasy football. Trying to avoid any kind of fantasy news has nearly become impossible. The all-time low point might be this new Pizza Hut ad -- don't worry Fox Soccer will be running it at every commercial break from now until March -- featuring a bro and Reggie Bush, where the bro's fantasy evolves a) Pizza Hut pizza-type product and b) Reggie Bush. (Shudder.)
The ad is nearly as creepy/weird as that spot that ran forever during the 2010 season where another bro seated poolside (presumably in Las Vegas) thought his gorgeous, bikini-clad girlfriend was Adrian Peterson. (Double shudder.)
Now, not to sound like a cranky old coot ... well strike that, to exactly sound like a cranky old coot, I've been doing fantasy sports long enough to remember doing the scoring by hand. When you had to wait until Monday morning to self-tabulate your statistics and calculate how you did. Back when -- instead of 47 magazines in June for fantasy football rankings -- there was a one-page sheet inside The Sporting News where you could mail in your team, using a salary cap and compete against hundreds of other pale-faced losers like myself.
In the year 2011 it's hard to comprehend an NFL Sunday without one eye perched firmly on your laptop or smartphone with an instant tally of your fantasy team(s). There's no doubt it's a major reason why the NFL is about the safest bet in all businesses in America.
Fantasy, dovetailed with the popularity of the "Madden" football video game franchise are without question part of the reason the NFL is worth untold billions of dollars. The video game and fantasy (plus, yes, gambling) make everyone that watches an NFL game an active participant and by playing the video game, you feel a more personal connection to that random Jacksonville/Seattle matchup on at 4:15 p.m.
All these thoughts collided the other night when I was trying out the demo on XBox for "FIFA 12," which comes out Tuesday.
It struck me as odd that soccer, or in this specific case, the EPL can get the video game version so right and the fantasy so wrong.
I'll save most of my raving for the transitive powers of the "FIFA" franchise for next week, though you'll have to paint a very convincing argument that the game isn't among the top -- if not the top -- reason for the stead increase in soccer's popularity in America. For now, just know that as far as sports video games go, soccer translates itself perfectly to the digital form. Pick it up, play it. Whether the only player you know is Cristiano Ronaldo or if you're an obsessive, you're going to have fun playing against the computer, online or with you friends.
"FIFA" even if it's magnetic passing is unrealistic, gets the spirit of the game right.
Fantas EPL on the over hand? Chances are if you're reading this post you manage a team.
Maybe it's just me, but the experience leaves me ... cold ... indifferent? This year the fantasy version of the EPL seems to boil down to having two players -- Wayne Rooney and Kun Aguero. The rest is table scraps, literally splitting hairs over guys like Matt Jarvis, Martin Petrov and Danny Murphy -- all separated by a mere point at the moment.
This isn't to say that fantasy EPL should overwhelm broadcasts, coverage and the way we think of the game in the manner it has in the NFL, but the game itself needs to be a little more rewarding. Problem is, the game seems stuck in 1995 with its set up not that much different than that old aforementioned Sporting News sheet. We're still all basically competing, en masse, against the rest of the world and a boring set of faceless numbers.
In the past I've written that for fantasy EPL (or any soccer) to take it to the next level it needs to reach the point where you can get together with a group of friends and draft a team. Again, the issue here is there aren't enough players that rack of major points to keep it competitive beyond four or five teams -- if that.
To some degree the official EPL fantasy game added a new wrinkle last season where it at least offers head-to-head leagues on a weekly basis, otherwise the single table most points accrued style league gets rather boring right about now. It takes a long, long time to make up 20, 30 points in the standings unless the owners at the top start sniffing glue or something like that.
Still, the basic problem of the game -- the minimal categories (goals, assists, clean sheets, and "bonus") to gain points -- seems paltry and primative in comparison to other "fantasy" sport operations. Then again, considering the game is based out of England where fantasy sports aren't an all-encompassing eight-legged monster on the landscape, maybe this isn't such a bad thing. And even more to the point, the Premier League is still the most watched league across the globe with or without the deluge of fantasy information dominating its coverage.
However you want to look at it, that's a welcome respite ... until Warren Barton begins making recommendations on Saturday morning of who should be in your lineup.
Saturday:
* Manchester City v. Everton -- (Live, ESPN2, 7:45 a.m.) Despite the gaps in money, Everton seem to have City's number -- winning four in a row. Interesting game for City to see how they bounce back from their first hiccup of the year. Could be a busy day for Tim Howard. Everton haven't lost in five games and seem to gaining some early-season momentum. Trouble for Everton, it just played an extra time League Cup game with West Brom in the midweek then have Liverpool to look forward to next week. ... City 2, Everton 0
* Newcastle United v. Blackburn Rovers -- If Newcastle is really going to prove it's actually a decent side, do the business at home against Blackburn. The core of Yohan Cabaye and Chieck Tiote give Newcastle something to build off. Again, it comes down to finishing. Maybe Leon Best can evolve into a soup kitchen Bobby Zamora and put together one or two good seasons. He seems a little better than he's given credit for. ... Newcastle United 1, Blackburn 0
* Wigan Athletic v. Tottenham -- Is this going to be Typical Tottenham? Two straight league wins and then a flameout at Wigan. Spurs either crush the Latics or they don't score at all. Emmanuel Adebayor tends to feast on teams like this so maybe it'll be the former. Wigan is going to struggle without Hugo Rodellega's threat while he's out injured. ... Wigan 0, Tottenham 1
* Liverpool v. Wolves -- Here's your stat collision here, Liverpool haven't kept a clean sheet in eight games. Wolves haven't scored in three. As they like to say, something has to give here. Seems like Liverpool needs a collective shot of B12. Luis Suarez is still worn down from the Copa America. Andy Carroll ambles around the field like he drank 12 pints of Carlsberg the night before. Lucas is flat-out gassed. Daniel Agger is now out for a bit. It seems like whomever lines up at right back at Anfield ends up like the drummers from Spinal Tap. Does this all mean Steve Gerrard rides in for the rescue? Probably not, though it's a match like this that might have justify the money spent on Jordan Henderson and more specifically Stewart Downing. ... Liverpool 2, Wolves 1
* Chelsea v. Swansea City -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Put it this way, this wouldn't surprise me either way if Chelsea needed a late goal off 18 deflections from Soloman Kalou or if Fernando Torres scored four goals and it was a straight-up romp. If Swansea continue to play an opening, attack-first passing system, Chelsea could carve them up. Should be a gave for Juan Mata to thrive. ... Cheslea 3, Swansea City 1
* Arsenal v. Bolton -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Well, the good news here is that Yossi Benayoun is officially a member of Arsenal since he's injured. The bad news? Maybe for a change there isn't any bad news for the Gunners heading into a match. Bolton lost at home to Norwich last weekend, but did bounce back to win at Aston Villa in the League Cup. Hopefully Stuart Holden plays since Bolton are a much more two-way team with him in the center of the field. Let's hope he avoids the studs of Arsenal, who actually have the worst disciplinary record in the EPL with 12 yellow cards and three reds already. You hear that Alex Song -- stay on your feet! ... Arsenal 2, Bolton 1
* West Brom v. Fulham -- Ugh, call this one a bad movie -- "The Hodgson Effect." I really whiffed on West Brom in the preseason. Though the Baggies would be much improved. West Brom's problem is the reverse of last year. In five matches -- four losses -- they've only allowed eight goals, which isn't terrible. Yet they've only scored three. They'd best hope Peter Odemwingie isn't a one-year wonder. As of now, Ivan Klasnic, Franco di Santo and Leon Best all have as many goals as the entire team combined. Fulham is nearly in the same boat, four goals scored, seven allowed, yet it hasn't won yet this year. Is it too early to think the heat is on Martin Jol? ... West Brom 1, Fulham 1
* Stoke City v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) Is Stoke the team that lost to Sunderland 4-0 last week or the possible top six contenders they hope to be? This could be a tricky game for Manchester United, which can't try to cakewalk past a quality opponent. Still ... Stoke City 1, Manchester United 2
Sunday:
* QPR v. Aston Villa -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) QPR is why I hate making preseason picks before the transfer window is shut. Until adding Joey Barton they looked like pure relegation fodder. Now with Barton embracing his role as the most hated man in English soccer, QPR has a major pulse. Aston Villa are boring, but are back to being a tough team to play against with Stylian Petrov in the middle of the field and Richard Dunne and James Collins pretending it's 2009 all over again. ... QPR 1, Aston Villa 1
Monday:
* Norwich City v. Sunderland -- (ESPN3.com so we can watch Dan LeBatard argue with his father.) America demands this game on basic cable! ... Norwich City 2, Sunderland 0
Last week: 2-8
Season: 26-23
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, EPL picks, Soccer
Order in the court!
Hold the phone!
Wait a cotton pickin' second!
Haven't we heard this EPL script before? Manchester United wins. Fernando Torres re-writes the term epic fail. Arsenal plumb even lower depths. Spurs surprise when you least expect it. Liverpool frustrates. Manchester City stalls to a draw. Yakubu scores a brace! (Yeah, he did it once for Portsmouth about seven years ago ... I think.)
All-and-all, this felt so oddly familiar this weekend, didn't it? Even if FOX decided to broadcast the showcase Manchester United/Chelsea on national television -- albeit on delay. [Unsure how the rating will turn out, since it aired at different times on different affiliates across the country at different times depending on your local NFL scenario.]
So with the idea of refraining from beating a dead horse -- one of my personal specialties, it must be said -- let's take a quick breeze through the comings and goings, wheelings and dealing of the Premier League weekend.
Best there is, best there was, best there ever will be: Whomever operates the PA system, err, "tannoy" to use the Brit term at Old Trafford might as well simply use one song on repeat for breaks in the action -- "All I Do is Win." (That, or like everybody else in Europe, Black Eyed Peas.)
Sunday Manchester United wasn't even at its best and still beat Chelsea by a 3-1 scoreline. Five up, five down for the reigning champs. 21 goals scored, four allowed. Youknowhatitis. Wait, that's the wrong popular rap anthem. Oops. I'm fairly certain Nani -- scorer of another sick goal Sunday -- has listened to them on his Dre Beats headphones for hours on end during bus trips to stadiums.
If you live to hate "Man U" (TM lazy American writers) perhaps you can take heed in Chelsea's season from a year ago when the Blues annihilated all comers, but ultimately fell short due to a dodgy run of games around Christmas. Then again, United beat Chelsea with a starting defensive pairing of Jonny Evans and Phil Jones -- who all of a sudden thinks its Franz Beckenbauer circa 1972, while Wayne Rooney was laughing about slipping on his ass while taking a penalty.
Maybe these guys ought to consider pinstripes for their jerseys ...
Can't Spell Fail without Fernando: Oh Fernando.
You really couldn't make this miss up. No really, you couldn't.
It almost remains me of an old Dave Attell joke, "did you ever make fun of somebody so much that you almost want to call them up and thank them for all your good times?"
What more is there to be said? Crazy as it sounds, Torres aside from the misses did look almost slightly dangerous leading the Blues' line against United -- even scoring in the second half for his second Chelsea tally. He did everything but score that sitter in front of the open net. It's possible he's channeling Bill Murray's titular character from 1991's "What About Bob?" and taking "baby steps" toward regaining his form.
Either that or we can all just keep laughing at him until we collectively get a call from Mario Lopez to appear on the new hit show "H8er"
On a more serious note, if Torres can ever sort himself out -- who honestly can say at this point -- Chelsea appears close to recycling its team on the fly. The Iberian imports of Juan Mata, Ramires, Raul Meireles and maybe Torres do give the Blues a different feel as Frank Lampard heads off into the sunset and toward a buffet table near you.(*)
(*) That concludes your monthly Frank Lampard is fat joke. Nailed it!
Song Remains the Same: As much as I love taking shots at Arsenal on Twitter, writing about the club's weekly foibles is getting ... tiresome.
What else is there to say? Dropping a 2-1 halftime lead at Ewood Park and losing 4-3 to hapless Blackburn? There are no silver linings. Nothing to build off. That's simply a crap result from a team that's looking, well, pretty crappy in my expert opinion.
You'd almost have to think Ralf Ragnick at Werder Bremen was waiting outside a bank in Germany sometime Saturday making sure the check cleared for Per Mertesacker.
If I have one original thought on Arsenal, it's that it's going to be very difficult to build a defensive line about a German new to the league, a ineffective Frenchman (take your pick) and a young keeper. Offensively, maybe Wenger can try more of a 4-4-1-1 look to get Robin van Persie more in the mix away from goal and leave Maroune Chamakh closer to goal to do the dirty work.
Aside from that, we'll probably be doing this again next Monday after Arsenal plays Bolton.
And Speaking of Bolton: Worst loss to the weekend goes to Owen Coyle's boys. Losing at home to promoted Norwich ... es no beuno. Is Stuart Holden going to have to ride to the rescue of Bolton ... and the USMNT?
Overall, nice job by the promoted sides. Swansea brought its scoreless and winless drought, thumping West Brom -- which looks to be backsliding toward the drop zone -- actually 20th place, as it were. QPR behind Joey Barton took down Wolves 3-0 on the road.
After the results of the weekend, we're back to not really knowing anything aside from Manchester United is the best thing on the planet other than Barcelona. Wolves looked to have turned the corner and lose that aforementioned game at home. Stoke goes to Sunderland and gets smacked around 4-0, proving maybe the Black Cats aren't totally terrible either.
Everton actually got a goal -- three in fact -- one from Royston Drenthe to beat Wigan. For all the doom and gloom around the Toffees, they're in a tie for sixth with Aston Villa and (dramatic pause) ahead of Liverpool on goal difference. Put it this way, what can you make to Newcastle and Villa the only two clubs outside Manchester to remain without a loss?
Same Old City?: Wasn't this the script for Manchester City last year? Wasn't this a new era at City, where it kicked ass and took names (or three points in the process)? Coughing up a two-goal lead at winless Fulham isn't a good sign, but it's probably just a hiccup considering the tying goal scored by Danny Murphy was via deflection off Vincent Kompany.
The theory remains, though, you can buy players but you can't buy a winning ethos.
By the same token, most teams would trade most of their club history for the attacking trio of Aguero, David Silva and Edin Dzeko.
As expected, the wave of "City in Europe" or the two-front theory with the Champions League and Premier League will crop up shortly if this little rut continues. However, a 1-1 draw with Napoli in the Champions League debut doesn't look all that terrible considering the Italians whipped up AC Milan over the weekend.
Throw Out the Books When These Two Teams Play: What the what? Spurs smacked nine-man Liverpool around 4-0? Jermain Defoe is scoring goals? Luka "I'm Perpetually Unhappy at White Hart Lane" Modric is scoring screamers?
Makes perfect sense for Spurs. When you have them figured out, they surprise. When you expect anything from them, they flounder. It's not every weekend, though, Gareth Bale gets to run at Martin Skrtel playing out of position at right back.
Harry Redknapp didn't do much in August, but the late moves to add Emmanuel Adebayor and Scott Parker have given the club much needed week-to-week stability, albeit from a small sample size.
If Arsenal continues to be Arsenal -- the 2007-2011 version -- and Liverpool's inconsistency remains, who knows Tottenham maybe can make another run at fourth. Redknapp clearly doesn't care about the Europa League, so maybe all the team focuses on is the league. Problem is, the team remains thin on proven starters. Michael Dawson is already on the shelf, so is William Gallas. Ledley is waiting to join him there at any moment. Guess that means its time to queue up Younes Kaboul's music. (Good thing Spurs didn't loan out Sebestian Bassong, eh?)
Liverpool? I'll stick with the short, reasonable expectation of Nate from "Oh You Beauty," who basically says when Charlie Adam is good, Liverpool will be too. When he's lazy, fat, passing to nobody in particular, they'll struggle. The gap-toothed Scot must have something against Spurs. Last year with Blackpool he snapped poor Bale's ankle like a twig. This week he went for a flying studs up challenge on Parker for his second yellow -- watch for a possible disciplinary suspension, too.
Rumor is, Steven Gerrard is back for Liverpool's midweek Carling Cup match against surprising Championship side Brighton Hove & Albion. Kenny Dalglish probably wouldn't play Gerrard on Tuesday and then push him over the weekend against Wolves, but if Adam is out it's a simple way to ease him back into the lineup.
Odds and Ends: Nice pass by Clint Dempsey to set up Bobby Zamora's goal for Fulham. ... Blog favorite Hugo Rodellega is out for a while for Wigan. Not good. ... Barton vs. Karl Henry, unless it's a prison shiv fight, yawn. ... Someone must have brainwashed Mike Ashley at Newcastle. Last summer it was Chiek Tiote. This year it's Yohan Cabaye. Two years adding central midfield players from continental European league champions. Not sure I can live in a world where Newcastle is leading the EPL in good decisions. ... Maybe I'm not giving enough credit to Blackburn for beating Arsenal, instead focusing on the Gunners misery. That's true enough. Still, getting goals from Yakubu is a mirage and you're not playing against Laurent Kosielny every weekend.
Fantasy Team O' the Week:
One More Thing: To quote the one-and-only Ron Swanson, "Awards are stupid." That said, it's still fairly amazing to see Kyle Chandler recognized for his work as Coach Taylor on "Friday Night Lights." No man on television rocked the polo shirt tucked into khaki shorts/baseball cap/sunglasses on Croakies look like Coach. In fact, I try to watch this clip every time before I write to get the utter best of our my brain and fingers.
Anyway, this GIF is tremendous.
(Stupid Blogger sucks for embedding GIF files. It's so much less hip than Tumblr it prolly uses a dot-matrix printer in its home office.)
One More Other Thing: Going to quote my friend "Rick" here, because this line cracked me up even when repeated -- "McDonald's vanilla cone is the only diary in my diet because I don't have a refrigerator."
Yuuuuuup.
Labels: Chelsea, English Premier League, EPL, fernando torres, manchester United, Monday recaps, Soccer
Right about a month into the 2011-12 Premier League season and it already feels like an escalating arms race between Manchester City and Manchester United. After four games played the two Manchester clubs have scored 33 goals. The other 18 clubs have 61 between them.
Wayne Rooney alone is out-scoring everybody but City, while Kun Aguero and Edin Dzeko have more goals each -- six -- than everybody but Chelsea and Bolton.
Granted, it's a small sample size and maybe a early season trend when a) teams are still settling and b) the weather is nice.
There's still a feeling though, if you want to keep pace you'll have to score. The Manchester clubs feature strikers named: Rooney, Chicharito, Welbeck, Aguero, Tevez, Dzeko and Balotelli, who'd all arguably be the first choice forward at all but a handful of the other clubs. Compare that to teams like Everton, Sunderland, Fulham, Wigan, QPR, Swansea, Norwich City and Newcastle United who don't exactly have a forward they can tie their faith in on a weekly basis. The dictonomy is startling, though not so much when you realize that the Manchester clubs can seemingly print money, whereas these other teams are searching for value picks to lead their lines, be it as in tandem with another player in a 4-4-2 or a alone centrally in the 4-3-3, which more clubs seem to want to attempt playing.
Somewhere in the middle of all this are Chelsea and Liverpool. The two clubs have options and have spent loads of cash on their attacking players in the last nine months, yet it's fallen to Andre Villas-Boas and Kenny Dalglish to find an XI that works and produces goals on a consistent basis.
Chelsea is interesting. If you selected them in the upcoming "FIFA 12" chances are you'd set your starting lineup to include both Fernando Torres and Didier Drogba since both have the best "overall" rating. (Forget about Nic Anelka, nobody wants to use him -- even in video game form.) In reality, Drogba is out with a concussion and Torres simply can't find a scoring touch -- though the addition of countryman Juan Mata might change that.
If you're paying attention, you'd certainly want to find a place for Daniel Sturridge over the other two players, despite his lesser name value.
Yet, even in his sterling form, can Villas-Boas turn to the rising talent as the man to help the Blues maintain the pace of not one, but two score-sheet stuffing rivals?
Liverpool, with Luis Suarez and Andy Carroll with help from Dirk Kuyt should have enough firepower to run with the big boys at the top of the table. The Reds have looked great in spurts, but not consistent enough as the new additions in the midfield Jordan Henderson and Charlie Adam don't seem fully on the same page. Maybe this isn't an issue if Stewart Downing is a little less wasteful on the wings. Long-term Liverpool should be okay, you'd think.
Don't want to dwell too much on Arsenal, as the team is stuck in a major transition. As it stands, Robin van Persie is going to need help from across the field -- think Theo Walcott -- if the Gunners have any semblance of running with the top dogs until May.
Maybe this is dumbing it down too much or way to basic, but it seems if you're going to make any noise for a long period of time this season you're going to have to score.
And score a lot.
Saturday:
One thought, Premier League organizers: Why not keep some semblance of a regular television schedule. This weekend there isn't a late Saturday game, last week there was a Monday game. Granted, midweek European matches and Cup games effect this, but the randomness gets a little annoying.
* Blackburn v. Arsenal -- (Live, 7:30 a.m., ESPN2) There was a time, back when Mark Hughes was in charge, Ewood Park was a tough place to play -- probably due to the hidden land mines buried by Robbie Savage. Perhaps that's not the best joke to make considering the potentially nasty fan protest by Rovers' fans over Steve Kean and to a lesser extent, Venkys. Plus the club has only won one of its last nine at home. There is a semblance of talent at the club, but without someone to motivate them, what do the players care if the club is relegated? They get paid anyway, or can force a transfer. So in that regard, Arsenal -- for a change -- aren't the club in the biggest disarray when it takes the field for the first time in EPL play in 2011-12. It's finding a way to get three points here, why Arsene Wenger rolled the dice to acquire Mikel Arteta on Deadline Day. Spaniard can still boss games like this. ... Blackburn 0, Arsenal 2
* Everton v. Wigan Athletic -- This is one of the few times Everton can't play the, "We Don't Have Any Money" card. Everton has better players across the board than Wigan. Go out and get a win and forget the excuses. That said, if it ever that simple for the Toffees at home in September? ... Everton 1, Wigan Athletic 0
* Wolves v. QPR -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Interesting comparison here. When Wolves was promoted after winning the Championship in 2008/09 it didn't buy big. Ronald Zubar, Kevin Doyle and Nenad Milijas were the only noteworthy additions by Mick McCarthy. The club struggled, but staved off relegation. Slowly but surely, the club has added to its core -- Roger Johnson, Stephen Fletcher, Jamie O'Hara. QPR, on the other hand, made the worrying move of adding a lot of new players in August after winning the Championship. Joey Barton, for all his personal problems, is a quality player. It's the Premier League re-treads like Shaun Wright-Phillips, Anton Ferdinand, Danny Gibbondon, Luke Moore and Kieron Dyer that would make you pause. At least Wolves added a proven scorer up top -- Doyle -- while QPR settled on a personal favorite of mine -- DJ Campbell -- who's season last year with Blackpool was probably a bit of a fluke. ... Wolves 2, QPR 1
* Bolton v. Norwich City -- Somewhat of a litmus test for Bolton, which beat QPR and then lost to Manchester City, Liverpool and Manchester United -- allowing 12 goals in the process. Beating a promoted team at home isn't great shakes, but failing to beat them would be a major red flag. ... Bolton 2, Norwich City 0
* Aston Villa v. Newcastle United -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Credit Alex McLeish, for this at least, he's revived the career of Stylian Petrov. The Bulgarian seemed on his way out when Gerard Houllier added Jean Makoun and Michael Bradley last January. Instead, the Villa captain is a vital cog in the middle of the field, like he was when Martin O'Neill first took over the club. If Newcastle had a player half as consistent as Darren Bent, it might be a team to be feared. Instead every week Alan Pardew has to hope he finds something from Leon Best, Shola Ameobi, etc. ... Aston Villa 1, Newcastle United 0
* Swansea City v. West Brom -- If Swansea can't find a way to score against West Brom -- even if its defense is a little steadier than last season -- the Swans might not score all season. ... Swansea City 1, West Brom 1
Sunday
* Sunderland v. Stoke City -- Sunderland wish they were Stoke City. No reason, that's not a backhanded compliment. Style in contrasts here between the managers in the transfer market, and overall. Steve Bruce has during his time at the Stadium of Light, taken the "Throw Shit at the Wall" approach. So far, not much has stuck, aside from the club's proclivity to have player sent off for reckless tackles. Sunderland, as we know, isn't Real Madrid, so this scattershot approach tends to leave you with a disjointed, uneven team stoked with mediocrity. Stoke, unfancied as they are, at least are plugging in players who fit their system. ... Sunderland 0, Stoke City 2
* Tottenham v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Hard to predict this game. Harry Redknapp all but pulled down his pants and took a dump on the Europa League playing a midfield consisting of: Falque, Carroll, Kane, Towsend and (sit down) Gio Dos Santos! Take that, Michel Platini! Back to the Prem, Spurs seem a little brighter after a win at Wolves. Last week Spurs played both Emmanuel Adebayor and Jermain Defoe. It doesn't leave a spot for Rafael van der Vaart. Are Spurs about to find out, like Real Madrid, Hamburg and Ajax, despite all the good things he brings to the table, the Dutchman doesn't really have a position? Still don't know what to expect from Liverpool. Lots of moving parts, lots of fun ... results? Reds could still use some defensive cover, though they're putting stock in Seb Coates long term. Should be a fun game. ... Spurs 1, Liverpool 2
* Fulham v. Manchester City -- Good luck Fulham. Hopefully Kun Aguero and Edin Dzeko get hurt taking pictures next to the Michael Jackson statue. ... Fulham 0, Manchester City 2
* Manchester United v. Chelsea -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) If it were up to Andre Villas-Boas, this game would come a month later, not the fifth weekend of the season. Chelsea -- for the first time I recall -- started vs. Bayer Leverkausen in the Champions League without John Terry, Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba. We know the big Ivorian is out, so this game will have a different feel. Chelsea, if given time, could develop into a deadly attacking force behind Juan Mata, Daniel Sturridge and Raul Meireles, with Fernando Torres' output a bonus. In a way, it could mirror, the young, fast, free-flowing game Manchester United has displayed four games into the young season. This is a match United can't afford a mistake from David de Gea and it'll be interesting to see if the Red Devils are as a good as they appear playing against a strong defense that isn't inherently afraid of Wayne Rooney et al. ... Manchester United 2, Chelsea 1
Last round: 6-4
Season: 24-15
Labels: EPL, fox soccer, manchester city, manchester United, premier league picks, Soccer
Hey, your Internets time is important in this crazy work-a-day whole, so your humble author will try not to waste very much of your time on a Monday morning. In fact, consider this Cal Ripken, Jr. coming in during the eighth inning of a baseball game to pinch hit in order to keep his consecutive games played streak alive. (Let's be honest, which is more impressive, playing 2,000+ straight Major League games or writing a weekly Monday EPL recap blog for a couple years. It's harder to answer than it sounds, right?)
So having seem only bits and pieces of games, scattered match reports and random highlights here are a couple quickie impressions.
* Daniel Sturridge, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. That goal vs. Sunderland was way too ridiculous. Fortunately it was Ian Darke calling the match on ESPN2, not Ray Hudson, but the Geordie's head might have exploded and or broken all the windows in your house with a high-pitched scream.
Is Sturridge the answer at Chelsea? In his last 13 Premier League games, 12 on-loan at Bolton, he's scored eight goals. Compare that to Fernando Torres, who's at 17 games in Blue with one Premier League goal. Put it this way, Chelsea fans probably would rather see Sturridge's name on the teamsheet way ahead of the slumping Spaniard.
* Pretty sure if you want to play defense at Stoke City your initiation into the Potters back line requires eating a swaddling child. Toby Pulis is playing essentially four center defenses across his backline -- Robert Huth, Ryan Shawcross, Matt Upson and Marc Wilson -- each are at least 6-foot-1 tall. The Stoke defense blocked, seemingly, half of the Liverpool attempts in their 1-0 home win Saturday, thanks in no small part to an insane sequence of saves by Asmir Begovic, who was a Canadian Youth International.
Stoke won't win beauty contests, but in a weird way their decidedly non-modern approach to the game is very effective -- almost like the Wildcat formation in the NFL -- since other teams aren't used to playing against that level of physicality every week.
Few neutrals are going to flock to Stoke City, but hey, give the club some credit for at least trying to be ambitious. Hey, at the bare minimum the Potters made an FA Cup final, which is more than can be said of the Oakland Athletics under Billy Beane -- another sports team using unconventional means -- and they made a Hollywood about him starring Brat Pitt and some precocious moppets.
* If you read the Friday picks post you saw I was a little negative or a least cool on my thoughts toward Spurs this season. A 2-0 road win at Wolves is certainly a signal of some intent. Emmanuel Adebayor did what he does -- score goals -- this time with a composed finish from close range to beat Wayne Hennessey. Maybe even better for Tottenham? A clean sheet and 90 injury free minutes from Ledley King.
* Manchester City 3, Wigan 0 ... about as unsurprising as a result of the weekend. Sergio Aguero must have thought he was still playing in La Liga going up against an opponent who barely even seemed motivated to try.
* Bolton might have lost to Manchester United 5-0, behind a Wayne Rooney hat trick and Javier Hernandez brace, at least the Trotters sort of put up some semblance of a resistance, if only by Kevin Davies' reckless "tackle" on Tom Cleverly. United play Chelsea this weekend, so at least we'll get to see how the Red Devils fare against a decent team, or if indeed this year will be a two-horse race.
* Suffice to say, if you own Aguero and Rooney in your Fantasy EPL team you essentially have, the 1998 versions of Terrell Davis and Emmitt Smith (pre-"Just For Men") in the same Fantasy NFL team.
* All I'll write about Arsenal is that if you've ever played "FIFA" you've scored at least a couple goals like Andrey Arshavin did Saturday vs. Swansea City when Michel Vorm simply rolled the ball right to his feet. Really. That's what happened. Watch it for yourself. My buddy Doyle would even be shaking his head.
* If Asamoah Gyan is willing to piss away a year in his prime to play for big money in Saudi Arabia, maybe it's not such a bad thing Sunderland got rid of him for the year. Suffice to say, Black Cat fans aren't taking it very well.
* Ruben Rochina seems like he might be a nice little player for Blackburn, but it wasn't enough for me to change my weekend plans to watch Rovers draw 1-1 at Craven Cottage vs. Fulham.
* Fantasy Team of the Weekend goes to friend of the blog, Colin Sebastian's Ooh Aah De Gea with 86 points. He had Rooney and Aguero. 'Nuff said.
* One other Thing Dept.: My friends and I might have made the Guinness Book of World Records run a "catchphrase" into the ground via "professional auctioneer" Dave Hester's ubiqitous, "yeeeeeeep" from the so-bad-you-can't-look-away "Storage Wars."
* One More Other Thing Dept.: Found it funny on Saturday afternoon to peruse my Twitter feed after a long car ride to see seemingly all the sports people entering breathless 140 character lobs about Roger Federer and his U.S. Open tennis semifinal vs. Novak Djokovic. Is the way it comes off when people take interest in a big soccer game?
* One Tiny Music Thing: Tuesday marks the release of the new album by the band "Girls" -- yeah, truly a terrible name for a group. This is going to be a good one, folks. Full endorsement and such.
Labels: EPL, manchester city, manchester United, Monday recaps, Soccer
Back to reguarly scheduled programming
1 Comments Published by Cardillo on September 9, 2011 at 11:51 AM.
From the department of you just can't figure out life ...
Remember back in August when my miserable, bitter writings listed my enthusiasm for the new 2011-12 Premier League season somewhere in the two of out 10 range? Naturally, three weeks of fixtures into the season and I'm really into the new year. Don't rightly know why, either.
Figures the international break needed to drop in the same week of the transfer deadline, too.
Considering my brain is ravaged by fast food toxins, swilly domestic beer and, above all, ADD as I write this I barely know what the heck a "Mikel Arteta" is. That's some sort of thing, right?
This weekend if you live in America reading this its worth trying to get a gauge on how much buzz the Premier League and all over European soccer generates with NCAA Football in full swing and the NFL kicking of Week 1 of it's 2011-12 season. Sure there are probably soccer "purists" out there you don't care a lick about any other sport, be they North American or not. I tend to think there's a wide swath of general sports fans who care just as much about Liverpool as they do LSU or the Green Bay Packers. (Always wondered, as a big-time lover of Major League Baseball, am I still hip or cool enough to be allowed to like soccer?)
So file that in the back of your mind. The first three rounds of the Premier League it was basically the only game in town on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Now, let's see how much traction it has vs. the gridiron. FOX broadcasting certainly thinks it has enough since it's planning to broadcast Manchester United/Chelsea on tape delay across its networks next weekend.
Saturday:
* Stoke City v. Liverpool -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) As the old saying goes, never trust a guy with two first names. By that logic alone Tony Pulis should've avoided a deadline-day deal for Cameron Jerome, he of three Premier League goals for Birmingham City last year. Eh? Maybe Peter Crouch will be a little better, or not. Rather remarkably the lanky, robot-dancing man hasn't scored in double-digit League goals since the 2008-09 season with Portsmouth and only three times in a career that began in 1999. If Stoke is serious about being a threat for sixth, seventh place it would show it by notching a win against a hot Liverpool team at home. Part of me feels for Andy Carroll, since the poor guy can't stop making headlines for all the wrong reasons. Then again, drunk, carousing England Internationals might be about the 99.9 percentile of people I'm least-sympathetic for on the planet. ... Stoke City 1, Liverpool 1
* Arsenal v. Swansea City -- (Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) All right Arsene, here's as soft a landing as you're going to get for your new-look team. In three games Swansea is yet to score -- yet has two points compared to your one. As I wrote on the deadline, the moves for Mikel Arteta, Per Mertesacker and Yossi Benayoun weren't bad for this season and might be enough for the Gunners to stay in the Top Four and the Champions League, but long term seem rudderless and downgrades from the players who've left the Emirates. Granted he was a loafing, lazy, loutish type player, but who is going to replace Nic Bentdner's ability to poach late goals? The Gunners may be able to slice and dice teams on the counter through Gervinho or Theo Walcott, but against a packed in defense, who's bungling in the final ball into the net? The long-term injuries to Thomas Vermaelen and Jack Wilshere don't help either, but haven't we heard this story before? ... Arsenal 2, Swansea City 0 (Not going to be last year's West Brom shock result repeating itself.)
* Sunderland v. Chelsea -- (Live, ESPN2, 10 a.m.) By the end of the year both these sides probably won't resemble the starting XIs on the field at the Stadium of Light. Steve Bruce might have a top-half team hidden somewhere into his mass summer transfers. Getting Bendtner on loan at the last second might have been his best, seriously. For Chelsea, the curious question is how long Roman Abramovich allows Andre Villas-Boas to build the Blues without his Russian meddling. By all account Fernando Torres isn't the guy to fit into the system. Pretty soon El Nino might need to buy No. 7 off Ramires to fit in with another famous blond flop at Stamford Bridge. ... Sunderland 1, Chelsea 2
* Everton v. Aston Villa -- Chin up Evertonians, you've added the top scorer from last year's Argentine league ... a dude nobody outside of La Plata has probably ever heard of -- Denis Stracqualursi. And Everton also has a win in the bank, something eight over League teams can't say. Doom and gloom at Goodison? Pfffft. Good news for Aston Villa, too. Richard Dunne was immense for the Republic of Ireland despite opening up a gash on his head in a collision with Zuri Zhirkov. Funny story from that match, Dunne returned to the field with a new shirt, but it didn't have a number on it, so a trainer from the Ireland team scribbled in on there with pen. Villa fans might not like Alex McLeish, but the team has started off unbeaten, allowing only one goal. ... Everton 1, Aston Villa 1
* Manchester City v. Wigan Athletic -- Everywhere you look there's a story about Garry Cook resigns from the City board for some leaked email. This is the kind of story, outside of England, it's hard to get wrapped up in. Doesn't interest me in the least bit. Can't fake it. The more pertinent thing to watch with City is how Roberto Mancini juggles the lineup with the club's Champions League debut vs. Napoli in the midweek. Granted City has about 25 really good players and depth at all positions aside from keeper. ... Manchester City 3, Wigan 0
* Wolves v. Tottenham -- When was the last time Tottenham played a "good" game? The Champions League? How long can Spurs live off that mirage? If anything, Scott Parker should bring a baseline of consistency into the midfield and perhaps a dash of leadership, whatever that intangible is worth. Harry Redknapp never found a loan-home for Gio dos Santos, so why not try the Mexican playmaker on the right. He can't be much more wasteful than Aaron Lennon at this juncture. If anyone can predict whether or not Emmanuel Adebayor will produce regularly is a lot smarter than myself. Wolves? Wolves are just Wolves. Solid, unspectacular and will keep plugging away. Wonder if the international break cools them off? ... Wolves 2, Spurs 0
* Bolton v. Manchester United -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) On the plus side for U.S. fans, Stuart Holden is nearing his Bolton return. He won't play in this game, so Jonny Evans can't break his leg again. Bolton are hopeful that Owen Coyle can weave his magic with the latest on-loan acquisitions: Gael Kakuta and Dedryck Boyata. If Boyata can play central defense he's probably already better than Zat Knight. Knight figures to start Saturday, so expect Manchester United to feast on him. Also, Jussi Jääskeläinen used to be one of my favorite players in the Prem and was a integral part of Bolton when Sam Allardyce was in charge. The Finn is now 36 and appears close to the end of the line. ... Bolton 1, Manchester United 3
Sunday
* Norwich City v. West Bromwich Albion -- (Live, FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Lets not kid ourselves, viewership of this match across America barely touches four-figures. ... Norwich City 1, West Brom 1
* Fulham v. Blackburn Rovers -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Give credit to Martin Jol for at least trying to make Fulham a little younger than the core of the team Roy Hodgson built three years ago. If not younger, refresh it with some new players like Bryan Ruiz and Pajtim Kassami. (Both huge Michael Jackson fans.) If any of these players can score a goal, it would certainly help things. Blackburn, you did it! You got Scott Dann, who is basically the English Kaka, right? ... Fulham 1, Blackburn 0
Monday
* QPR v. Newcastle United -- (Live, ESPN3, 3 p.m.) Joey Barton, something, something something. ... QPR 1, Newcastle United 1
Last round: 6-4
Season: 18-11
[Programming note: Have some family/other committments this weekend -- yes I sort of have a life, surprise, surprise -- so I have no idea how many games I'll be able to watch. Keep that in mind Monday.]
Labels: English Premier League, EPL, Prem Picks
"No, not him! Give us Barabbas!" -- John 18:40
Friendlies in international soccer do funny things to a man, particularily those played after midnight on East Coast time.
Somewhere in the second half of last Friday's disappointing USMNT 1-0 loss at the hands of Costa Rica my mind started wondering if Jonathan Bornstein would actually be an upgrade over Edgar Castillo at left back? That, gasp, part of me actually missed the left back styling of Senor Bugaloo.
More likely my brain was on fire from eating too much buffalo chicken dip at my friend's new apartment housewarming scenario.
Still it was hard to feel the performance by the U.S. -- first 30 minutes aside -- would have been something pulled from the Bob Bradley playbook, not Jurgen Klinsmann. Sadly, it felt like a continuation of the same, making you realize more-and-more it's about the players than anything else.
All-and-in, it's probably a good thing the game was played so late on a Friday night on the opening weekend of College Football. Out of sight, out of mind.
The first 30 minutes, with the U.S. players buzzing around was encouraging -- but let's not get carried away. You could make an argument, too, if Landon Donovan buries that early chance inside the right post, instead of outside it, it's a U.S. rout and we all feel better about ourselves and Klinsmann doesn't have to worry about possibility waiting until October for his first victory in charge of the U.S.
What struck me about the Costa Rica game, as it wore on, was a lack of ideas or leadership on the field. It seemed the entire game plan boiled down to getting the ball to Brek Shea on the left wing, hoping the big blond dude could dribble around a defender and make something happen. Shea, to his credit, didn't stop working but it's hard to recall a dangerous cross which produced a chance during the run of play. Part of this can probably be equated that Jozy Altidore(*) isn't exactly a target striker, or at least the kind of guy who's going to find through a forest of attackers to win a header. Hell, the U.S. hasn't had that player for five years when a certain ex-Fulham hero retired from international play.
(*) Maybe in a few years we'll realize that Charlie Davies car accident also cost Altidore his international mojo, since the two forwards clicked playing off each other.
As easy as it is to chalk these games up to friendlies or -- buzzword alert -- everything with the U.S. is a work in progress, that's maybe being too simplistic. There is, for certain, a lack of urgency since the U.S. doesn't play a game that actually counts for something until June with the nasceant stages of CONCACAF World Cup 2014 qualifying.
What's tricky with Tuesday's game against Belgium in Brussels (2:30, ESPN), is yeah, you can make an argument that a game against a solid (not great) European team on European soil should theoretically count for something. Try telling that to the players, though. With the results not at a paramount, you're going to tend to have more disjointed displays, where individual players might try to do too much to impress Klinsmann and the new coaching staff.
It's a danger, with so many young or non-capped players, that instead of building a team over the 90 minutes of these friendlies, there are only small pockets of cohesive player or individual moments of brilliance. To counterweight that, Klinsmann all but has to have another January National Team camp like Bradley, if only to get these guys training and thinking together, right?
That's what's scary about the future with Klinsmann. Let's assume the U.S. manages its way through its first CONCACAF group (Jamaica plus, likely Guatemala and Haiti) and gets through the final hexagonal and qualifies for Brazil 2014. Between today and then, the only real tournament this U.S. team will play under Klinsmann will be the low-pressure 2013 CONCACAF Gold Cup, probably on American soil. The way an athlete's brain functions in a friendly compared to a game that actually matters are two different things, and something that you can't create outside of the real deal.
Say what you will about the Bradley era, but the U.S. was battle tested and tournament (semi) ready.
So logic would only dictate the -- ugh -- process, under Klinsmann is going to take time, go through a lot of auditions and we won't have the luxury of a dress rehearsal (Confederations Cup) come Brazil. It'll be live without a net.
When you want change, you have to live with the growing pains.
Miscellania:
* Nothing against Jose Torres, but there's nothing that leaps out at me in the limited international experience he's had that screams automatic starting XI. How much of a role is there for him, either, once Stuart Holden is healthy? Call me crazy, but it's hard to evaluate where the U.S. stands until the Bolton midfielder is back on the field. This isn't to say Holden is the missing link, but well ...
* Let the great Clint Dempsey where to play him debate begin. Considering the lack of striking options, perhaps its best to play him in a withdrawn role behind Altidore (or whomever). Better yet, if I'm Klinsmann I give Dempsey the freedom to roam like Sir Alex Ferguson allows Wayne Rooney. That said, with Donovan gone figure he tucks in at right midfield like he does at Fulham for this match.
* Hype warning, but Juan Agudelo is really damned impressive, or the minimum very confident on the ball and ready to make something happen at all times. If Klinsmann's smart, he'll develop the 18-year-old as super sub to run at tired legs in the final 20 minutes of games, where he can make the most impact.
* Kyle Beckerman is 29, a year older than Dempsey. Suppose there are other examples of players coming into their own as internationals this close to 30. Beckerman might have his limitations, but he does bring a bit of bite and leadership to the U.S. midfield, in one small sample vs. Mexico in August he put more of his stamp on the match than Maurice Edu did vs. Costa Rica.
* Never really understand what Robbie Rogers brings to the international table, if anything he's indicative of the lopsided, unbalanced type of player pool the U.S. has.
* If not Edgar Castillo at left back, then who? Eric Lichaj playing an inverted role when he gets back from his hip injury? Bobby Convey? DaMarcus Beasley? If Klinsmann develops Shea as a pure left-sided attacker, then the future U.S. left back doesn't need to get forward too much, instead needs to be a little like Gael Clichy and simply defend his position and hassle his mark. Shouldn't be that hard to find, should it?
* It makes me sad to think Jonathan Spector has gone from Manchester United -- albeit a fringe squad player -- to the English second division at relegated Birmingham City.
* For whatever reason, think Sacha Kljestan could have a decent game here, though he's not a guy that tends to bring a lot to the table for the U.S., or at least never found his best position in the XI under Bradley.
* Teams the U.S. has beaten in 2011: Canada, Guadeloupe, Jamaica and Panama.
* Belgium gave up a late goal on Friday to draw Azerbaijan in Euro 2012 qualifiers. It essentially ended the Red Devils chances to qualify. Hard to imagine the Belgian players, with the Euro leagues getting into gear, will be too fired up for a friendly against the U.S. It's not like Eden Hazard's transfer value is going up any higher based on how much he roasts Edgar Castillo or whomever, now is it?
* If Maroune Fellaini doesn't break anyone's ankle in this match, mission semi-accomplished.
* Wonder how many Belgian players are big fans of Tintin? Or better yet, even know who that is?
* Just going to link the Wikipedia page for King Leopold II. Great beard, but a major-league douche otherwise.
* Speaking of douches, for whatever it's worth, always enjoyed "In Bruges" despite the presence of Colin Farrell.
Lineup Guess:
GK -- Howard
DEF -- Cherundolo -- Ream -- Bocanegra -- Castillo
MID -- Dempsey -- Kljestan -- Beckerman -- Torres -- Shea
FOR -- Altidore
Terrible job by me for the Costa Rica game not realizing Cherundolo and Beckerman weren't with the team. Oof.
Closing thought:
Cosmetically, it would be a nice moral boost to beat a wounded Belgium team on their home turf. Plus it ends anyone mentioning how Klinsmann is winless in charge of the team.
Beyond that, it's another 90 minutes on the long road toward, hopefully, brighter skies in 2014.
Labels: clint dempsey, Friendlies, jurgen klinsmann, Soccer, USMNT
"Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond." -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off
This isn't time to beat a dead horse, as it were. Bob Bradley got enough criticism from U.S. fans throughout his tenure, whether rightly or wrongly; informed or knee-jerk. Most of the dislike of Bradley was probably personality driven.
And in that sense, the bubbly, effervescent German Jurgen Klinsmann is the anti-Bradley.
Or so the theory hatched from the brain of Sunil Gulati goes.
If there was one legitimate beef about Bradley the Elder that can be agreed on, whether you're an established media of the soccer media bluebloods, an internet crank or the mere Nike scarf-waving hoi polloi, was his insistence of using a pair of defensive, holding, shielding or "FIFA" terminology -- CDMs -- in nearly every game, be it a forgotten friendly or high-stakes tournament final.
Unfortunately trying to analyze this gets tricky, because one of those players tended to be Michael Bradley -- the coach's son. It's hard for any discussion to avoid the claims of nepotism. Sadly, it's part of it, even if it's unfounded. Even, if in the ideal Petri dish lab conditions, the two things are intertwined.
My argument, in writing in this space for a while now, was it never made much sense -- playing against lightweight CONCACAF opponents the majority of the time -- to pin your fortunes to this two central midfield system, particularly since in his five years on the job Bradley the Elder never seemed to find a duo that totally clicked.
USMNT Central Midfields under Bob Bradley
2007 Friendlies: Pablo Mastroeni 3 (appearances) , Ricardo Clark 2, Benny Feilhaber 3, Michael Bradley 2, DaMarcus Beasley 1, Maurice Edu 1
2007 Gold Cup: Bradley 3, Feilhaber 3, Mastroeni 3, Clark 1
2008 Friendlies: Bradley 5, Clark 4, Edu 2, Mastroeni, Landon Donovan
2009 Confederations Cup: Bradley 4, Clark 4, Sacha Kljestan 1, Clint Dempsey 1, Donovan 1.
2009 Friendlies: Bradley 2, Clark 2, Kljestan 1, Feilhaber 1.
2010 World Cup qualifying(*): Bradley 15, Clark 5, Kljestan 4, Donovan 3, Adu 2, Edu 2, Feilhaber 2, Danny Sztela 1, Jose Torres 1.
20101 World Cup: Bradley 4/4 Clark 2, Torres 1, Edu 1.
2010 Friendlies: Bradley 5, Edu 3, Kyle Beckerman 2, Torres 2, Clark 2, Dempsey 2, Feilhaber 1, Kljestan 1, Jermaine Jones, Logan Pause 1, Brian Carroll 1, Eddie Gaven 1.
2011 Friendlies: Jones 3, Bradley 3, Edu 3, Jeff Larentowicz 1, Dax McCarty 1, Mixx Diskerud 1, Beckerman 1.
2011 Gold Cup: Bradley 6, Jones 6.
(*) Bradley broke away from a two-midfield central tandem in one game, a 3-1 loss at Costa Rica in a 4-3-3, which seemed to end Jose Torres' National Team career. He also used a 4-2-2-2 at Azteca, losing to Mexico 2-1.
It's worth exploring this -- at minimum talking about it -- ahead of Friday's friendly with Costa Rica at the Home Depot Center followed by next week's game with Belgium in Brussels for a few reasons. Firstly, is Klinsmann's favored type of midfield is a diamond, with one holder? Or will he move to a more 4-3-3 type system? The U.S., even without a plethora of wide options, seems suited for an attacking/playmaker type backed by a guy doing the dirty work in front of the back four.
Secondly, for the first time since the end of 2010 Nelson Mandela Challenge game against South Africa, Bradley and Jones aren't on the roster for a game. Nor is Clark. There's a reason for this, since all their club situations were unsettled ahead of the transfer window, or that's the line Klinsmann used.
As the chart above shows, if there was an ever-present for the U.S. in the midfield it was Bradley. (Again, let's try to forget he's the coach's son.) Results during this tenure, were mixed and U.S. games were always on the razor's edge of playing 11 vs. 10.
There's no rule written in parchment hanging at the U.S. Soccer House in Chicago that decrees the team needs to be built around Bradley the Younger. The team can exist without him, right? Is it too much "conspiracy/talk radio paranoid" thinking that it's a mild red flag that Borussia Monchengladbach couldn't get rid of his fast enough this summer and that two coaches at Aston Villa passed up on Bradley? Or that the only place his agent could land him a deal was a non-descript team in Serie A which plays in front of 12,000 people at home?
This isn't saying Bradley doesn't have a role in the team or isn't a quality international player, but he's not the most precise passer to start the attack from a deep position and most of the games the U.S. plays how much central midfield protection does it need? There's a spot for Bradley, but pigeon-holing him as a "holding" player working as a detriment to both the player and the team?
Again, there's no rule that says he has to play in every game.
Fortunately, in these two friendlies, we'll get 180 minutes to see what U.S. soccer is like without Bradley and Partner X.
Instead, we might see Kyle Beckerman running around trying to play the Makalele role(*), or Jeff Larentowicz being a slightly more ginger Beckerman.
(*) Well, not really. Plus I love misusing this term so guys like Jonathan Wilson can look down their noses and roll their eyes.
Maybe we'll see Maurice Edu alone by himself at the end of a diamond. Or Jose Torres with increased holding responsibilities.
However it pans out, it'll be different and the first taste of U.S. National Team life sans Bradley -- both of them.
[Postscript: I'll save Michael Bradley's breath and preemptively tell myself to fuck off and that I'm a pale, pencil-necked geek who doesn't not shit about soccer.]
Miscellany:
* Klinsman is certainly bending over backwards to a) keep Clint Dempsey happy and b) keep Fulham happy about his use of Dempsey. Logically, it certainly makes sense to save Dempsey for trip to California, yet does the (arguably) best player in the U.S. set-up deserve special treatment? It's not exactly David Beckham with the Galaxy and England, but something to keep a watch on. Of course, if you're a conspiracy theorist and put any stock into the rumors that Dempsey was going to end up at Arsenal, Sevilla or God only knows where, then it makes a little more sense.
* Without using Wikipedia or Google, name one other current player in the Chievo Verona squad aside from Michael Bradley. Don't all answer Nestor Djengou all at once.
* Ironic, isn't it, that Klinsmann takes over and 10 of the 24 players on the roster play in MLS. Final Bradley roster -- at the Gold Cup -- only had six.
* There has to be a database somewhere of German-Americans playing in Deutschland, right?
* Is it a good thing that three potential USMNTers -- Edu, Carlos Bocanegra and Alejandro Bedoya -- all play for Rangers in Scotland, which missed out completely on both the Champions League and Europa League through playoffs?
* Random question: do either Oguchi Onyewu or Jonathan Bornstein ever play for the National Team again?
* Since Brek Shea looked good in the final 15-odd minutes vs. Mexico in August it's obvious he's score, what, like eight goals vs. Costa Rica? That's how it works, right?
* On the other side of the equation, Tim Ream -- during his rookie year in MLS -- was talked up like this revelatory center back of the future for the U.S. Sooner or later he's going to have to show that at the international level, right?
Lineup Guess:
GK -- Howard
DEF -- Cherundolo -- Ream -- Bocanegra -- Castillo
MID -- Donovan -- Beckerman -- Torres -- Shea
FOR -- Altidore -- Agudelo
Final Thought:
Home game. No pressure. Familiar opponent.
Let's see if this Klinsmann "magic" is something.
Or it, it's the players, after all.
Labels: Friendlies, jurgen klinsmann, Soccer, USMNT
